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Random movie quotes, Part II; please don't identify

Sometimes, when I walk along the corridor, I fancy I hear her just behind me. That quick light step, I couldn't mistake it anywhere.

by Anonymousreply 60011/07/2013

Well, HOORAY for the bulldog!

by Anonymousreply 109/29/2013

I heard it was really gnarly. She sucked down a bowl of multi-purpose deodorizing disinfectant, and then, SMASH!

by Anonymousreply 209/29/2013

Eat my shit.

by Anonymousreply 309/29/2013

We're the ones with the Imperial, and we're running last?!

by Anonymousreply 410/01/2013

You're just like all the rest of the common dykes in this town!

by Anonymousreply 510/02/2013

Now fry like bacon, you little freshman piggies. Fry!

by Anonymousreply 610/02/2013

Oh Lady Margaret, you really are naïve

by Anonymousreply 710/02/2013

Connor, let me duck your hole

by Anonymousreply 810/02/2013

They SAY she had laryngitis!

by Anonymousreply 910/02/2013

You've lived in dirt so long you can't understand anything else. And you're jealous of something you can't understand. Good night.

by Anonymousreply 1010/02/2013

Good. Bad. Doesn't matter. I'm the man with the gun.

by Anonymousreply 1110/02/2013

My pussy needs more cock!

by Anonymousreply 1210/02/2013

Dispatch war rocket Ajax to bring back his body!

by Anonymousreply 1310/03/2013

Do you know what a love letter is? [bold]IT'S A BULLET FROM A FUCKIN' GUN, FUCKER![/bold]

by Anonymousreply 1410/03/2013

"What's in the box!? What's in the fuckin box?!

by Anonymousreply 1510/03/2013

Does anybody remember laughter?

by Anonymousreply 1610/03/2013

"My puberty in Buffalo was drab."

by Anonymousreply 1710/03/2013

"I've had a bad night and I just hate the fucking Eagles, man!"

by Anonymousreply 1810/03/2013

At first I thought he was walking a dog. [italic]Then[/italic] I realized it was his date!

by Anonymousreply 1910/03/2013

"I used to fuck guys like you in prison"

by Anonymousreply 2010/03/2013

Dong? Where is my automobile?

by Anonymousreply 2110/03/2013

Are all men of the future loud-mouthed braggarts?

by Anonymousreply 2210/03/2013

Don't be fooled by the grim exterior. It's a good deal grimmer inside.

by Anonymousreply 2310/03/2013

OMG I got a sequel thread!! I'm a DL success story!!!

by Anonymousreply 2410/03/2013

Well smell you, r24!

by Anonymousreply 2510/03/2013

The dark gift is different for each of us. But one thing is true for us all, we grow stronger as we go along. Just take my word for it. She blamed a slave for his murder. Imagine what they did to him. Evildoers are easier, and they taste better.

by Anonymousreply 2610/03/2013

It was nothing like that penis breath!!!

by Anonymousreply 2710/03/2013

"I've got a tube top I wanna cut the tags off of."

by Anonymousreply 2810/03/2013

I don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' babies!

by Anonymousreply 2910/03/2013

Joo think I don't know what goes on in this place!?!?! All you boys going ha ha , he he he , bo bo bo.

by Anonymousreply 3010/03/2013

"Is it safe?"

by Anonymousreply 3110/03/2013

"You, his loving, doting fraud of a father! And you, you SLUT! You're both so consumed with evil, so ROTTEN! Your filthy souls are too evil for Hell itself!"

by Anonymousreply 3210/03/2013

When I lived in Porpoise Spit, I used to sit in my room for hours and listen to ABBA songs. But since I've met you and moved to Sydney, I haven't listened to one Abba song. That's because my life is as good as an Abba song. It's as good as Dancing Queen.

by Anonymousreply 3310/03/2013

In my case, self-absorption is completely justified. I have never discovered any other subject quite so worthy of my attention.

by Anonymousreply 3410/03/2013

"There's a storm coming, Mr. Wayne. You and your friends better batten down the hatches, because when it hits, you're all gonna wonder how you ever thought you could live so large and leave so little for the rest of us."

by Anonymousreply 3510/03/2013

Alright you Freshman bitches. AIR RAID! That was pathetic.

by Anonymousreply 3610/03/2013

Push it in! Push it in harder!

by Anonymousreply 3710/03/2013

"Love? You've been in love before; it never lasts."

by Anonymousreply 3810/03/2013

"I guess there's just two kinds of people, Miss Sandstone: MY kind of people, and assholes. It's rather obvious which category you fit into."

by Anonymousreply 3910/03/2013

How can I be a good nun if I can't get the Congo out of my blood?

by Anonymousreply 4010/03/2013

"What is your obsession with this money? My father died when I was 13 and I inherited this money. You don't think that every day I wake up and wish I could give it back? That I would give it back in a second if I could have one more day with him? But I can't, and that's my life and I deal with it. So don't put your shit on me when you're the one that's afraid."

by Anonymousreply 4110/03/2013

What's human or inhuman is not for human decision.

by Anonymousreply 4210/03/2013

Look, Mr. Barker, I wasn't there. I can only go on the evidence of my own eyes. We're talking about my baby daughter - not some object!

by Anonymousreply 4310/03/2013

And don't call me chicken. I've told you a hundred times if I've told you once, do not call me chicken! I'm not 12 years old anymore!

by Anonymousreply 4410/03/2013

You cad, you dirty swine! I never cared for you, not once! I was always makin' a fool of ya! Ya bored me stiff! I hated ya! It made me SICK when I had to let ya kiss me. I only did it because ya begged me, ya hounded me and drove me crazy! And after ya kissed me, I always used to wipe my mouth! [bold]WIPE MY MOUTH![/bold]

by Anonymousreply 4510/03/2013

I've done far worse than kill you - I've hurt you. And I wish to go on hurting you. I shall leave you as you left me - as you left her. Marooned for all eternity in the center of a dead planet. Buried alive. Buried alive!

by Anonymousreply 4610/03/2013

But I like my sex the way I play basketball, one-on-one with as little dribbling as possible.

by Anonymousreply 4710/03/2013

Elizabeth is yours. Watch her as she grows; she's yours. She's a Tudor! Get yourself a son off that sweet, pale girl--if you can--and hope that it will live. But Elizabeth will reign after you. Yes, Elizabeth--child of Anne the Whore and Henry the blood-stained lecher, shall be queen! And know this, Henry: Elizabeth shall be a greater queen than any king of yours! She shall rule a greater England than you could ever have built! Yes, MY Elizabeth shall be queen! And my blood will have been well spent!

by Anonymousreply 4810/03/2013

You lazy bitch! I'm out workin' my tail off all day and you're in there FUCKIN' MIDGETS!

by Anonymousreply 4910/03/2013

Did you just spit champagne on my pussy?

by Anonymousreply 5010/03/2013

Perhaps they need a good talking to, if you don't mind my saying so. Perhaps a bit more. My girls, sir, they didn't care for the Overlook at first. One of them actually stole a pack of matches, and tried to burn it down. But I "corrected" them sir. And when my wife tried to prevent me from doing my duty, I "corrected" her.

by Anonymousreply 5110/03/2013

Oh, let her talk, Melanie. She's always hated me, ever since I took your brother Charles away from her, though she's too much of a hypocrite to admit it. Why, if she thought anybody would take after her, she'd walk down the street nekkid!

by Anonymousreply 5210/03/2013

This is how we do things on the Planet Maturia. We have much to teach you.

by Anonymousreply 5310/03/2013

I love you, r46!

by Anonymousreply 5410/03/2013

Moose, honey, they're into DOGGIES!

by Anonymousreply 5510/03/2013

"Twenty years ago I made the unpardonable error of thinking I could civilize a girl who bought her hats out of a Sears-Roebuck catalog!"

by Anonymousreply 5610/03/2013

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time... like tears in rain... Time to die.

by Anonymousreply 5710/03/2013

Cut some capers, man! Use your bladder!

by Anonymousreply 5810/03/2013

R51 Hello Danny. Come and play with us. Come and play with us, Danny. Forever... and ever... and ever.

by Anonymousreply 5910/03/2013

Locked together in hatred. But I can't hate you Louis. Louis my love, I was mortal till you gave me your immortal kiss. You became my mother, and my father, and so I'm yours forever. But now it's time to end it, Louis.

by Anonymousreply 6010/03/2013

I received a transatlantic call one day. "Skip died," Daddy said. He and my mama wrapped him in my baseball jacket. "They buried him out under our elm tree," they said. That wasn't totally true. For he really lay buried in my heart.

by Anonymousreply 6110/03/2013

"Sure, I... I know what a geek is."

by Anonymousreply 6210/03/2013

You arthritic sex kitten!

by Anonymousreply 6310/03/2013

Shit on your Mother!

by Anonymousreply 6410/03/2013

I should've killed myself when he put it in me. After the first time, before we were married, Ralph promised never again. He promised, and I believed him. But sin never dies. Sin never dies. At first, it was all right. We lived sinlessly. We slept in the same bed, but we never did it. And then, that night, I saw him looking down at me that way. We got down on our knees to pray for strength. I smelled the whiskey on his breath. Then he took me. He took me, with the stink of filthy roadhouse whiskey on his breath, and I liked it. I liked it! With all that dirty touching of his hands all over me. I should've given you to God when you were born, but I was weak and backsliding, and now the devil has come home. We'll pray.

by Anonymousreply 6510/03/2013

You have ugly talents, Martha.

by Anonymousreply 6610/03/2013

"They're coming to get you, Barbara!"

by Anonymousreply 6710/03/2013

You used to drink bergin...

by Anonymousreply 6810/03/2013

But you're not the jealous type, are you?

No, I'm not.

You've never been jealous about me, have you?

No, I haven't.

And why haven't you ever been jealous about me?

Well, I don't know, Alice -- maybe it's because you're my wife.

by Anonymousreply 6910/03/2013

You probably even called us beavers on your CB radio, didn't you?

Damn. I hate that! I hate bein' called a beaver.

by Anonymousreply 7010/03/2013

"Heineken? Fuck that shit! Pabst Blue Ribbon!"

by Anonymousreply 7110/03/2013

Jack! Jack! Jack! Jack! Jack!

Rose! Rose! Rose! Rose! Rose!

by Anonymousreply 7210/03/2013

WHAT'S THE MATTER? I will tell you "what's the matter!" I go out of my way for you! I do everything to try and make you happy. I feed you, I clean you, I dress you, and what thanks do I get? "Oh, you bought the wrong paper, Annie, I can't write on this paper, Annie!" Well, I'll get your stupid paper but you just better start showing me a little appreciation around here, Mr. MAN!

by Anonymousreply 7310/03/2013

Waaaaawaaaaaaaaaaaa! Waaaaaaaaawaaaaaaaaa!

by Anonymousreply 7410/03/2013

Except for socially, you're my role model.

by Anonymousreply 7510/03/2013

Bring me the big knife! I'm gonna cut my throat!

by Anonymousreply 7610/03/2013

You white, you Ben Affleck.

by Anonymousreply 7710/03/2013

I love my dead gay son

by Anonymousreply 7810/03/2013

...I wear a size six but a seven feels so good I buy a size eight.

by Anonymousreply 7910/03/2013

This is war, woman! Not a garden party! Harumph!

by Anonymousreply 8010/03/2013

Well, hip-hip-hooray for your cheap climax! What about ME, fuckface? Some pitiful excuse for a husband YOU turned out to be! Why don't you take your fucking toolbox and GO FUCK A GARAGE!!!

by Anonymousreply 8110/03/2013

Refund?! Refund?!

by Anonymousreply 8210/03/2013

I see you've had an accident. Back in Catholic Boys' School we used to call them "Nocturnal Emissions." It always made me think of Chopin; Nocturnal Emissions in G Minor.

by Anonymousreply 8310/03/2013

Fuck yeah! Coming again to save the motherfucking day, yeah!

by Anonymousreply 8410/03/2013

"I said phooey and I mean phooey. Phooey."

by Anonymousreply 8510/03/2013

Good Lawd Latrelle. Don't you know better than to sneak up on someone when they're tawkin' to a corpse?

by Anonymousreply 8610/03/2013

Honey, her hair looked like the cat's been suckin' on it.

by Anonymousreply 8710/03/2013

They was both butt-nekkid and covered with doo-doo!

by Anonymousreply 8810/03/2013

Oh, I get it. I'm supposed to let you put your finger in me then I suck your cock and get a movie role?

by Anonymousreply 8910/03/2013

"She stole my purse!"

by Anonymousreply 9010/03/2013

Don't FUCK with the babysitter.

by Anonymousreply 9110/03/2013

Where do you get the ass to tell anybody anything about class, or who the hell's got it, or what she typifies? You shouldn't even be in the same room with her, you pompous celibate... You're totally full of shit! You're all full of shit.

by Anonymousreply 9210/03/2013

You wanna see a bad facelift? Helen Danvers, 2 o'clock. She looks like she's re-entering the Earth's atmosphere.

by Anonymousreply 9310/03/2013

My Cunny is HOT for your cock!

by Anonymousreply 9410/03/2013

I know what's going on in here, with all of you men going "Hee hee hee, boo boo boo, hah hah hah.

by Anonymousreply 9510/03/2013

Look, I've boned a lot of fat chicks in my time, sure. But, as far back as I can remember, I've never fornicated anybody.

by Anonymousreply 9610/03/2013

I just hope she's not too loud. Or happy. Happy people always make such a racket.

by Anonymousreply 9710/03/2013

Why should the courtesan chose the penniless sitar player over the maharajah who is offering her a lifetime of security? That's real love. Once the sitar player has satisfied his lust he will leave her with nothing. I suggest that the courtesan chose the maharajah.

by Anonymousreply 9810/03/2013

They mostly come at night... Mostly

by Anonymousreply 9910/03/2013

All I ever wanted was a Ballerina Barbie. In her pretty pink tutu. My birthday. I was 10, and do you know what they got me? *Malibu* Barbie.

by Anonymousreply 10010/03/2013

My boyfriend fell on a knife I was holding.

Boy, I've met hard-boiled before, but you -- you're twenty minutes.

You're too short for that gesture.

Happiness is something I know nothing about. If you say we're happy, let's leave it at that.

I feel the way I have always felt.

by Anonymousreply 10110/03/2013

Barbara Jean had a collapse.

by Anonymousreply 10210/03/2013

Captain Howdy, do you think my mom's pretty? Captain Howdy? Captain Howdy, that isn't very nice!

by Anonymousreply 10310/03/2013

I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that.

by Anonymousreply 10410/03/2013

your ass looks really hot in that sling

by Anonymousreply 10510/03/2013

S: Who dat? R: Who dat who say who dat? S: Who dat who say who dat who say who dat?

by Anonymousreply 10610/03/2013

His hair is crisp... crisp? I never noticed that. All these years I've never noticed that. Lettuce is crisp. [takes a head of lettuce from the refrigerator] Lettuce head, go to bed, your nose is red, your name is Fred, I'll kill you dead!

by Anonymousreply 10710/03/2013

It's not cool, Jack. It's not sexy.

by Anonymousreply 10810/03/2013

"I'm Howard's mother. And I'm a lesbian."

by Anonymousreply 10910/03/2013

I wonder what the nice people are doing tonight...

by Anonymousreply 11010/03/2013

Not feeesh.... snake scale!

by Anonymousreply 11110/03/2013

It's easy. She's standing right next to you.

by Anonymousreply 11210/03/2013

Yes, I wear foundation. Yes, I live with a man. Yes, I'm a middle- aged fag. But I know who I am, Val. It took me twenty years to get here, and I'm not gonna let some idiot senator destroy that. Fuck the senator, I don't give a damn what he thinks.

by Anonymousreply 11310/03/2013

Lets throw you two a pity party. Two fraidy ol' ladies. You gotta live live before it lives you, you stupid... You gonna be second class you gonna be second rate your whole life.

* * *

Uh uh I'm not sleeping with the Wicked Witch of the West's toenails in my face and your Godzilla breath on me, no way!

by Anonymousreply 11410/04/2013

You're going to die. You know you're going to die. I'll be waiting for you to die!

by Anonymousreply 11510/04/2013

There was another game that Kay insisted on playing: the Truth Game. Everyone was to make a list of their friends, in order of preference, and then compare the lists. What Kay never stopped to think about was that somebody always had to be at the bottom of every list. And when that somebody cried, Kay was honestly surprised.

by Anonymousreply 11610/04/2013

I think today is a say-something-hat day!

by Anonymousreply 11710/04/2013

Hallelujah

by Anonymousreply 11810/04/2013

Shoot her Wardell - Shoot her in the head!!

My Mother.... A waitress!

We both like soup.... and snow peas... we could talk or not talk for hours....

Im rich, richer than all this new Hollywood trash.....

We have the same blood type - type O...

My dear, Television is nothing but auditions....

Get me a Bromide..... and put some gin in it!!!

That's a 7 letter word that describes your father...

Ive had 2 years to grow claws mother... Jungle Red!!!

by Anonymousreply 11910/04/2013

Well, ain't you the lucky one?

by Anonymousreply 12010/04/2013

NOW a warning?!

by Anonymousreply 12110/04/2013

Aunt Barbara, I love you but you're gonna get it.

by Anonymousreply 12210/04/2013

Al: Whatever I am, he made me! I was adorable once, young and full of hope. And now look at me! I'm this short, fat, insecure, middle-aged THING!

Ar: I made you short?

by Anonymousreply 12310/04/2013

Sandy, please try to do as I say and not as I do. Remember, you are a child, Sandy, and far from your prime.

by Anonymousreply 12410/04/2013

Found this spoon, sir!

by Anonymousreply 12510/04/2013

"Well, you don't know me very well, do you, Creepella? I'm the Latina Marilyn Monroe. I got more legs than a bucket of chicken."

by Anonymousreply 12610/04/2013

"Look at her, runnin' like she's runnin' cross the border!"

by Anonymousreply 12710/04/2013

"I love the smell of napalm in the morning. It smells like...victory."

by Anonymousreply 12810/04/2013

What in gay hell?

by Anonymousreply 12910/04/2013

Elle?

B?

There's somethin' I've always been curious about. Just between us girls...just what did you say to Pai Mei to make him snatch out your eye?

I called him a miserable old fool.

Ooh. Bad idea.

You know what I did? I killed that miserable old fool. I poisoned his fish heads. And I told him, "To me, the word of an old fool like you is worth less than nothing". That's right, I killed your master. And now I'm gonna kill you too, with your own sword no less. Which, in the very immediate future, will become my sword.

Bitch...you don't have a future.

by Anonymousreply 13010/04/2013

Hi Annette! I got some!

by Anonymousreply 13110/04/2013

I could eat a can of Kodak and PUKE a better movie!

by Anonymousreply 13210/04/2013

Gurl, you don't wanna get involved in that Latin mess! She might turn out to be a Sandinista or somethin'!

by Anonymousreply 13310/04/2013

Fill your hand, you son of a bitch!

by Anonymousreply 13410/04/2013

If you gonna go down, go down with the best of them!

by Anonymousreply 13510/04/2013

You are France. When I think of France, I think of you.

by Anonymousreply 13610/04/2013

I write doodads because it's a doodad kind of town.

by Anonymousreply 13710/04/2013

What a story! All that's missin' are the bloodhounds nippin' at her rear end!

by Anonymousreply 13810/04/2013

I'll have the last laugh. I may have committed the gay cardinal sin of being a bit overweight, but it's this so-called unattractiveness that's spared me from the plague.

by Anonymousreply 13910/04/2013

Ohhhh, Agnes! You DO have breasts!

by Anonymousreply 14010/04/2013

And I thought I read the rules so carefully!

by Anonymousreply 14110/04/2013

Beware of the dwarf.

by Anonymousreply 14210/04/2013

EC: Towanda! Righter of Wrongs, Queen Beyond Compare!

NT: How many of them hormones you takin', honey?

by Anonymousreply 14310/04/2013

Shut that cunt's mouth or I'll come over there and fuckstart her head.

by Anonymousreply 14410/04/2013

Not the beeeees!

by Anonymousreply 14510/04/2013

NOW a warning?

by Anonymousreply 14610/04/2013

You died on a Saturday morning, and I had you placed here under our tree.

by Anonymousreply 14710/04/2013

Demented and sad, but social.

by Anonymousreply 14810/04/2013

I make maps!

by Anonymousreply 14910/04/2013

Excuse me stewardess, I speak jive.

by Anonymousreply 15010/04/2013

Look, Marguerite,...ENGLAND!

by Anonymousreply 15110/04/2013

Beef jerky time!

by Anonymousreply 15210/04/2013

Son, you got a panty on your head.

by Anonymousreply 15310/04/2013

Purr Francine. Purr, purr Francine!

by Anonymousreply 15410/04/2013

I think I'm gonna give every nurse on this floor an electric cattle prod, and just instruct them to just *zap* him in his badoobies.

by Anonymousreply 15510/04/2013

Who cares if we fail? It'd be fun to be expelled!

by Anonymousreply 15610/04/2013

WIPE THAT SMILE..OFF YOUR FACE!

by Anonymousreply 15710/04/2013

He was always a rather stupidly optimistic man. I mean, I'm afraid it came as a great shock to him when he died.

by Anonymousreply 15810/04/2013

Inside every girl, there is a swan, waiting to burst into flight! In ever boy, a lordly lion slumbers!

by Anonymousreply 15910/04/2013

Sink the sub. Hide the weasel. Park the porpoise. A bit of the old Humpty Dumpty, Little Jack Horny, the Horizontal Mambo, hmm? The Bone Dancer, Rumpleforeskin, Baloney Bop, a bit of the old Cunning Linguistics?

by Anonymousreply 16010/04/2013

I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking.

by Anonymousreply 16110/04/2013

They're coming to get you, Barbra.

by Anonymousreply 16210/04/2013

Get off my lawn!

by Anonymousreply 16310/04/2013

Mother, I know I don't have any talent, and I know all I have is a body, and I am doing my bust exercises. Goodbye, Mother. I'll wire you the money first thing in the morning. Goodbye. . . Oh, to hell with them! Let 'em droop!

by Anonymousreply 16410/04/2013

You think that because I'm a movie star I don't have feelings. Well you're wrong. I'm an actress. I have all of them!

by Anonymousreply 16510/04/2013

"No, no, no, no, no. I do believe Marcellus, my husband/your boss told you to take me out and do whatever I wanted. Now, I wanna dance. I wanna win. I want that trophy, so dance good."

by Anonymousreply 16610/04/2013

Never in my wildest imagination did I ever dream I would have sons like these.

by Anonymousreply 16710/04/2013

Look kids, Big Ben.

by Anonymousreply 16810/04/2013

I offered you my blessing. You refused it. Now move along!

by Anonymousreply 16910/04/2013

"The test results have come back. And I'm afraid the results are very disturbing. It seems that Angelique has a rare case of brake fluid...bran...fluid. Bran flavor."

by Anonymousreply 17010/04/2013

Worse than the chicken at Treski's, oh well...

by Anonymousreply 17110/04/2013

Now listen here, you mullet, why don't you light your tampon and blow your box apart? Because it's the only bang you're EVER gonna get, sweetheart!

by Anonymousreply 17210/04/2013

The guy was DECAPITATED ... do you know what that means? It means HE DOESNT HAVE A HEAD! How am I supposed to write for a guy who DOESNT HAVE A HEAD?!

by Anonymousreply 17310/04/2013

I even made poor Louis take me on Crusade. How's that for blasphemy. I dressed my maids as Amazons and rode bare-breasted halfway to Damascus. Louis had a seizure and I damn near died of windburn... but the troops were dazzled.

by Anonymousreply 17410/04/2013

"What do they got? A lot of sand. We've got a hot crustacean band."

by Anonymousreply 17510/04/2013

"... and the Reverend Al Sharpton said in an interview today that Jackson's last words—'Your money's on the dresser, Chocolate'—were racist and demeaning."

by Anonymousreply 17610/04/2013

R168, I love you.

'These are OR scrubs.'

'O R they?'

by Anonymousreply 17710/04/2013

I want to tell you something which I thought I would never say, which I thought nobody should ever say because I thought it didn't exist. And Leon, I can't say it.

by Anonymousreply 17810/04/2013

TAKE the cannoli."

by Anonymousreply 17910/04/2013

A man takes a drop too much once in a while, it's only human nature. Nature, Mr. Allnut, is what we are put in this world to rise above.

by Anonymousreply 18010/04/2013

Stand still, Godfrey. It'll all be over in a minute.

by Anonymousreply 18110/04/2013

Please say hello to our residents, Pedro and his wife Inez. Inez is holding a clay pot that she seems very proud of. She has carefully detailed it with lots of paint and glaze. And Pedro is working on an "adobe." Can you say that with me? "Adobe".

by Anonymousreply 18210/04/2013

You and your rabbit-faced wife can both GO TO HELL!

by Anonymousreply 18310/04/2013

Bill shoot you in the head, no? I woulda been much nicer. I would have just cut your face.

by Anonymousreply 18410/04/2013

"If y'all want to play with C.W. why don't you go in your own room."

by Anonymousreply 18510/04/2013

I am HIGH on marijuana cigarettes! But I'll get drunk too!

by Anonymousreply 18610/04/2013

Robert E. Lee..Prewitt. Isn't that a silly, ole name?

by Anonymousreply 18710/04/2013

MARRY ME, R186! We can ogle Stephen Boyd together.

by Anonymousreply 18810/04/2013

You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with cheese in France?

by Anonymousreply 18910/04/2013

You've got a death wish. So selfish. [pause] I have one too, but I direct it toward others.

by Anonymousreply 19010/04/2013

We can't keep them past four.

by Anonymousreply 19110/04/2013

She had a big ass then and she's got a big ass now!

by Anonymousreply 19210/04/2013

I'd like to ask you to stay and have a drink, but I'm afraid you might accept.

by Anonymousreply 19310/04/2013

For R196: I wouldn't have you if you were hung with diamonds upside down!

by Anonymousreply 19410/04/2013

For God's sake, I wish you could hear yourself sometimes -- I mean, REALLY hear yourself! Christ! Aren't you ever going to stop deluding yourself? Hmmm? "Handling" Max... Behaving like some ludicrous little underage femme fatale -- you're about as fatale as an after-dinner mint!

by Anonymousreply 19510/04/2013

There's nothing tragic about being fifty. Not unless you're trying to be twenty-five.

by Anonymousreply 19610/04/2013

Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you'd have a diamond.

by Anonymousreply 19710/04/2013

I can't make love to a BUSH!

by Anonymousreply 19810/04/2013

Shut your mouth English shit bird.

by Anonymousreply 19910/04/2013

You better calm yourself down before I haul off and smack you upside your wide, wide head! We killed your husband ... and I AIN'T your maid anymore, bitch! I'm your SISTA IN CRIME!

by Anonymousreply 20010/04/2013

"Do you resent the idea of wife swapping?". . . I resent the question.

by Anonymousreply 20110/04/2013

There can be only one.

by Anonymousreply 20210/05/2013

You swapped me? For a milkmaid?

by Anonymousreply 20310/05/2013

Yeah baby , yeah right there, yeaaaaa, that's it suck my dick

by Anonymousreply 20410/05/2013

"Edelweiss. Georg, you never told me how charming your children are."

by Anonymousreply 20510/05/2013

Wagon Wheel Watusi!

by Anonymousreply 20610/05/2013

READING A BOOK???

by Anonymousreply 20710/05/2013

You won't get any dancing here, it's illegal.

by Anonymousreply 20810/05/2013

Never give up. Never surrender.

by Anonymousreply 20910/05/2013

You're not anybody in America unless you're on TV. On TV is where we learn about who we really are. Because what's the point of doing anything worthwhile if nobody's watching? And if people are watching, it makes you a better person.

by Anonymousreply 21010/05/2013

California, tell your people to stay away. Stay away now, don't - don't come in here. Whatever you hear, stay away! John Doe has the upper hand!

by Anonymousreply 21110/05/2013

Christ. Seven years of college down the drain. Might as well join the fucking Peace Corps.

by Anonymousreply 21210/05/2013

My old man's gonna be back soon and if we're still here he's gonna shit Twinkies.

by Anonymousreply 21310/05/2013

I hate to tell you what they call my son in Harlem.

by Anonymousreply 21410/05/2013

Now that's how I'm gonna clear the table. Don't you ever talk that way to me. 'Pig,' 'Pollack,' 'disgusting,' 'vulgar,' 'greasy.' Those kind of words have been on your tongue and your sister's tongue just too much around here. What do you think you are? A pair of queens? Now just remember what Huey Long said - that every man's a king - and I'm the King around here, and don't you forget it.

by Anonymousreply 21510/05/2013

Her eyes in certain light were violet, and all her teeth were even. That's a rare, fair feature: even teeth. She smiled to excess, but she chewed with real distinction.

by Anonymousreply 21610/05/2013

No, no, don't speak. Don't speak. Please don't speak. Please don't speak. No. No. No. Go. Go, gentle Scorpio, go. Your Pisces wishes you every happy return.

by Anonymousreply 21710/05/2013

I was born a poor black child...

by Anonymousreply 21810/05/2013

Don't go puttin' none of that stuff on my sled. You know that metal plate in my head? I had to have it replaced, cause every time Catherine revved up the microwave I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for a half hour or so. So over at the VA they had to replace it with plastic. It ain't as strong so I don't know if I should go sailin down no hill with nothing between the ground and my brains but a piece of government plastic.

by Anonymousreply 21910/05/2013

Hush, dear, mother's fighting.

by Anonymousreply 22010/05/2013

Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce Miss Blaze Starr. She is a performin' artist on the local cultural scene.

by Anonymousreply 22110/05/2013

Hey Romy, remember Mrs. Divitz's class, there was like always a word problem. Like, there's a guy in a rowboat going X miles, and the current is going like, you know, some other miles, and how long does it take him to get to town? It's like, 'Who cares? Who wants to go to town with a guy who drives a rowboat?

by Anonymousreply 22210/05/2013

It's true. She's a cannibal. She could drink the blood of her children from the skull of her lover and not feel so much as a stomachache.

by Anonymousreply 22310/05/2013

I'm the Marcia fucking Brady of the Upper East Side, and sometimes I want to kill myself.

by Anonymousreply 22410/05/2013

Dear God, I know I don't believe in you, but since I'll be starting Catholic school soon, I thought I should at least practice. Let's see, what do I want? I want Lisa to realize what a bitch she is and feel really bad and apologize for how she hurt me and know how much I still love her. In spite of everything, I still want Paul to win tomorrow, not that cunt Tracy. Oh, and I also want a really expensive pair of leather pants and someday I wanna be really good friends with Madonna. Love, Tammy.

by Anonymousreply 22510/05/2013

"She went to shit and the hogs ate her!"

by Anonymousreply 22610/05/2013

Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again.

by Anonymousreply 22710/05/2013

You won't accept a guy's tongue in your mouth and your gonna eat that?!

by Anonymousreply 22810/05/2013

But Darius is a dancer. He's in "Cats."

by Anonymousreply 22910/05/2013

Don't be ridiculous, Sister. You can't handle that monster.

by Anonymousreply 23010/05/2013

Um, the number has some wind effects in it but you'll just have to use your imagination about them.

by Anonymousreply 23110/06/2013

Mrs. Waldbaum had a steel plate in her head, and it was said she couldn't walk near magnets!

by Anonymousreply 23210/06/2013

I'll always love you, come what may. "Come what may"? We'll all be murdered in our beds come what may. Well run. For God's sake run! Death before dishonor. Besides, have you tried running in one of these things? It's a real bitch.

by Anonymousreply 23310/06/2013

I think... no, I am positive... that you are the most unattractive man I have ever met in my entire life. You know, in the short time we've been together, you have demonstrated EVERY loathsome characteristic of the male personality and even discovered a few new ones. You are physically repulsive, intellectually retarded, you're morally reprehensible, vulgar, insensitive, selfish, stupid, you have no taste, a lousy sense of humor and you smell. You're not even interesting enough to make me sick.

by Anonymousreply 23410/06/2013

Oh, Cosmo, you know everything!

by Anonymousreply 23510/06/2013

Mr. Successful, you've got it made!

by Anonymousreply 23610/06/2013

"My problem is that it's 2am. My problem is I'm asleep. I'm on a tour bus with eight stinkin' men. Rule number one: Don't propose to a girl on a bus. You got that? Rule number two: Don't tell her its because you had a bad dream."

by Anonymousreply 23710/06/2013

Hey, Yankees! You can take your apology and your trophy and shove it straight up your ass!

by Anonymousreply 23810/06/2013

"Hit it Toots!"

by Anonymousreply 23910/06/2013

Come on, honey, the old bat slaved all day over a hot stove, now eat it!

by Anonymousreply 24010/06/2013

Then, go to the moon, you selfish dreamer!

by Anonymousreply 24110/06/2013

Pardon me boy--is this the Transylvania Station?

Ja! Ja! Track 29. Oh--can I give you a shine?

No, thanks.

by Anonymousreply 24210/06/2013

"Who are you? WHAT are you?"...

"WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?"

I think you're the cause of all this..."

I think you're evil"...

"EVIIIIIIIL!"

by Anonymousreply 24310/06/2013

Hey, I'm not square, you're the one that's square. You're full of shit, man. What are you talking about? You walk out with those fuckin' creeps and low-lifes and degenerates out on the streets and you sell your little pussy for peanuts? For some low-life pimp who stands in the hall? And I'm square? You're the one that's square, man. I don't go screwing fuck with a bunch of killers and junkies like you do. You call that bein' hip? What world are you from?

by Anonymousreply 24410/06/2013

"Men are rats, listen to me, they're fleas on rats, worse than that, they're amoebas on fleas on rats. I mean, they're too low for even the dogs to bite. The only man a girl can depend on is her daddy."

by Anonymousreply 24510/06/2013

Don't fuck with my distribution costs! I'm making a lousy two-fifteen per segment and I'm already deficiting twenty-five grand a week with Metro! I'm paying William Morris ten percent off the top, and I'm giving this turkey ten thou per segment, and another five to this fruitcake! And Helen, don't start no shit about a piece again! I'm paying Metro 20 percent for all foreign and Canadian distribution, and that's after recoupment! The Communist Party's not gonna see a nickel of this goddamn show until we go into syndication! I'm not giving this pseudoinsurrectionary sectarian a piece of my show! I'm not giving him script approval, and I sure as shit ain't cuttin' him in on my distribution charges!

YOU FUCKING FASCIST! Did you see the film we made of the San Marino jail breakout, demonstrating the rising up of the Seminole prisoner class infrastructure?

You can BLOW the Seminole prisoner class infrastructure OUT YOUR ASS! I'm not knockin' down my goddamn distribution charges!

by Anonymousreply 24610/06/2013

"Nurse Ratched, Nurse Ratched! The Chief voted! Now will you please turn on the television set?"

by Anonymousreply 24710/06/2013

Ah luv ya, Sissy!

Ah luv yew tew, Bud.

by Anonymousreply 24810/06/2013

Mom, you don't love someone because he's perfect.

by Anonymousreply 24910/06/2013

Who's gonna rape you that you ain't already fucked?

by Anonymousreply 25010/06/2013

MH: What are you just standing around here for? You're supposed to clean the bathroom and the kitchen before lunch, my little pig droppings, and if you skip the corners, there will be no lunch. And we're not having hot mush today...

O's: Yay!

MH: We're having *cold* mush!

by Anonymousreply 25110/06/2013

"Tell your adorable little brother to mind his manners or I'll slap his face!"

by Anonymousreply 25210/06/2013

Blue Fairy. In the world of Orga, blue is the color of melancholy. Yet the services I provide will put a blush back on anyone's cheek. I will change the color of your fairy for you. She will scream out: 'Oh yes! Oh God! Oh, yes! Oh, God! Oh, God!' She will make you a real boy for I will make her a real woman and all will be right with the world because you held my hand and saved my brain so that once again my customers my ask for me by name: 'Gigolo Joe, what do you know?'

by Anonymousreply 25310/06/2013

When you were a kid that made you look sexy. Now it just makes you look drunk.

by Anonymousreply 25410/06/2013

Elle, if I'm gonna be a senator by the time I'm 30, I need to marry a Jackie, not a Marilyn.

by Anonymousreply 25510/06/2013

"You know how those creatures are, just babble babble babble..."

by Anonymousreply 25610/06/2013

"Poor Becky... raped by the horse trainer."

by Anonymousreply 25710/06/2013

What's in the box?

by Anonymousreply 25810/06/2013

I was just getting ready to brush my teeth and watch Lawrence Welk, then I looked out the window and...BANG!!!

by Anonymousreply 25910/06/2013

"I wonder if I'll get discovered at the Lizard Lounge tonight."

by Anonymousreply 26010/06/2013

"You don't know shit cause you've never been fucked in the ass."

by Anonymousreply 26110/06/2013

My husband!... My gigolo! That's what you are. You're a miserable parasite! You're just after my money! I was rid of you once. Why did I take you back? Why? Why?

by Anonymousreply 26210/06/2013

I shoved your tap shoes in my panties before I was blown outta the house!

by Anonymousreply 26310/06/2013

"'Raped at Twelve', 'Raped at Thirteen', what do I know about rape? I'm just another sordid exhibitionist."

by Anonymousreply 26410/06/2013

We forgot about the flowers.

Stay with me.

You bet.

by Anonymousreply 26510/06/2013

Dreyfus once wrote from Devil's Island that he would see the most glorious birds. Many years later in Brittany he realized they had only been seagulls... For me they will always be - *glorious* birds.

by Anonymousreply 26610/06/2013

"My name is Francine Fishpaw, and I am an alcoholic!"

by Anonymousreply 26710/06/2013

"That was the everlasting moment he had been waiting for. And the moment had passed, for Monica was sound asleep. More than merely asleep. Should he shake her she would never rouse. So David went to sleep too. And for the first time in his life, he went to that place where dreams are born."

by Anonymousreply 26810/06/2013

I haven't been fucked like that since grade school.

by Anonymousreply 26910/06/2013

"I'll hang out a sign that says don't disturb and go back to nature."

by Anonymousreply 27010/06/2013

Did you ever hear of a thing called paranoia? No, I guess you didn't. Well, it's what happens to people when they get to believe they're something they're not...they can go on for a long time and be okay, except when the illusion is shattered. Then they kind of wither up and... phht. Unless it's restored.

by Anonymousreply 27110/06/2013

"They kicked me out before I could get to them, into see them..."

"What about the petition?"

"They wouldn't let me give it to them."

"Can't you give it to ANYBODY?"

"No!"

"OH, DARN!!!!!"

by Anonymousreply 27210/06/2013

Leslie Lapidus could say "fuck", but she couldn't do it!

by Anonymousreply 27310/06/2013

It'd be a terrific innovation if you could get your minds stretched a little further than the next wisecrack.

by Anonymousreply 27410/06/2013

You know why they call them Indians? Because Columbus thought he was in India. They're "Indians" because some white guy got lost.

by Anonymousreply 27510/07/2013

You think there are men in this country who ain't seen your bosoms?

by Anonymousreply 27610/07/2013

"I'm the all time Self-Amuser."

by Anonymousreply 27710/07/2013

What kind of tea do you want? We have blueberry, raspberry, ginseng, sleepy time, green tea, green tea with lemon, green tea with lemon and honey, liver disaster, ginger with honey, ginger without honey, vanilla almond, white truffle, blueberry chamomile, vanilla walnut, constant comment and... earl grey.

by Anonymousreply 27810/07/2013

You just head-butted my boyfriend so hard he burst!

by Anonymousreply 27910/07/2013

If I peed my pants would you pretend that I just got wet from the rain?

by Anonymousreply 28010/07/2013

Look, I didn't write the gay handbook. If you got a problem with it, take it up with Liberace's ghost.

by Anonymousreply 28110/07/2013

All right, this next song goes to the guy yelling from the balcony. It's called, 'We Hate You, Please Die.'

Sweet! I love this song!

by Anonymousreply 28210/07/2013

When I'm around you, I kind of feel like I'm on drugs. Not that I do drugs. Unless you do drugs, in which case I do them all the time. All of them.

by Anonymousreply 28310/07/2013

J: "15 years ago I was out there on the floor where you are now and I was very like you, Bagley, I was the best. But I got myself into some trouble with a gas-fired heating system. I tell you, I was desperate. I made myself ill with worry. I finally ended up with a specialist who told me I'd given myself an ulcer. But it was a lot more than that to me. As far as I was concerned, I'd given myself a detonator. I became obsessed with fears of spontaneous combustion. This gas-fired business had penetrated so deeply into my subconscious, I thought I was seconds away from busting into flames. I started drinking water. Sometimes as much as 25 pints a day. I slept with a bucketful by the bed. I even bought a fire extinguisher."

DB: "I'm surprised you needed to bother. You must have pissed like a fire engine."

by Anonymousreply 28410/07/2013

THEE IS STANDING WHERE I'M ABOUT TO SHOOT!

by Anonymousreply 28510/07/2013

I know you play mysterious and aloof just to avoid getting hurt. And I know you have reasons for not wanting talk about your past. I want you to know that I don't care about any of that stuff. Because I'm in lesbians with you.

by Anonymousreply 28610/07/2013

Don't stick out your tongue, dear; It's coated!

by Anonymousreply 28710/07/2013

He did it! He missed the barn!

by Anonymousreply 28810/07/2013

Miss Fleming, please call us when the shuttle lands.

by Anonymousreply 28910/07/2013

Your clones are impressive indeed!

by Anonymousreply 29010/07/2013

Because he was a drunk, you're a drunk. Because he loved women, you're a tramp. But you forget one thing: he did it with style.

by Anonymousreply 29110/07/2013

You do an eclectic celebration of the dance! You do Fosse, Fosse, Fosse! You do Martha Graham, Martha Graham, Martha Graham! Or Twyla, Twyla, Twyla! Or Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd! Or Madonna, Madonna, Madonna!... but you keep it all inside.

by Anonymousreply 29210/07/2013

(to Joanne) Look at that face. Is that a face for a magazine cover? The profile. You're beautiful, and I love you. I sleep with a lot of women; I make love to you. The single most important person in my life, next to my family. Is that right, Pepe? Huh? (smashes a coke bottle on her face) Get her out of here! (To Marlowe)Now, that's someone I love! And you I don't even like! You got an assignment, cheapie: FIND MY MONEY!

by Anonymousreply 29310/07/2013

Yeah, I was a dance hall girl, but what makes you so high and mighty? You own a whorehouse! A whorehouse!... And with only three whores in it. One of them is just a senile old cow - no offense, honey - and the other one's so new at it, she doesn't know which end to use. So what does that make you? The only whore in Chili Verde!

by Anonymousreply 29410/07/2013

"He was trying to burgle me."

"From what I hear, he's been burgling you three times a week for the past month."

by Anonymousreply 29510/07/2013

Chancho. When you are a man, sometimes you wear stretchy pants in your room. It's for fun.

by Anonymousreply 29610/07/2013

J: Do you believe in UFOs, astral projections, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full trance mediums, the Loch Ness monster and the theory of Atlantis?

W: Ah, if there's a steady paycheck in it, I'll believe anything you say.

by Anonymousreply 29710/07/2013

"This is a giant cock."

by Anonymousreply 29810/07/2013

Have her then, but you're a lordly fool. She's been plucked since I saw her last, and not by you... it takes a woman to know it.

by Anonymousreply 29910/07/2013

Are you a burglar?

by Anonymousreply 30010/07/2013

And when you die, which is regrettable but necessary, what will happen to frail Alais and her pruny prince? You can't think Richard's going to wait for your grotesque to grow.

You wouldn't let him do a thing like that.

"Let" him? I'd *push* him through the nursery door!

You're not that cruel.

Don't fret. We'll wait until you're dead to do it.

by Anonymousreply 30110/07/2013

You must learn, Mrs. Collins, to draw a firm line between the deserving poor and the undeserving.

by Anonymousreply 30210/07/2013

When the boy was born, like all Spartans, he was inspected.

by Anonymousreply 30310/07/2013

Joanna! How could you do a thing like that? How could you do a thing like that? How could you do a thing like that? When I was just going to give you coffee. When I was just going to give you coffee! When I was just going to give you coffee! I thought we were friends! I thought we were friends! I was just going to give you coffee! I was just going to give you coffee! I thought we were friends... I thought we were friends... I thought we were friends. How could you *do* a thing like that? I thought we were friends.

by Anonymousreply 30410/07/2013

"See this ring? Topaz, my mother's birthstone. Know where I got the money for it?"

"Where?"

"Man-whoring! See this keychain? Mini yo-yo. Know where I got the money for it?"

"Man-whoring?"

"Stock market! But I got the money for the stock market from man-whoring."

by Anonymousreply 30510/07/2013

It really ain't the place nor time to reel off rhyming diction, but yet we'll write a final rhyme while waiting crucifixion. For we bequeath a parting tip of sound advice for such men who come in transport ships to polish off the Dutchman. If you encounter any Boers, you really must not loot 'em, and if you wish to leave these shores, for pity's sake, don't shoot 'em. Let's toss a bumper down our throat before we pass to Heaven, and toast a trim-set petticoat we leave behind in Devon.

by Anonymousreply 30610/07/2013

"The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain"

by Anonymousreply 30710/07/2013

She has mean eyes.

by Anonymousreply 30810/07/2013

The mangina: It's the professional term we manwhores use to describe our he-pussy.

by Anonymousreply 30910/07/2013

Marion, don't look at it. Shut your eyes, Marion. Don't look at it, no matter what happens!

by Anonymousreply 31010/07/2013

Dottie Del Taco?

by Anonymousreply 31110/07/2013

Why do I think Becky'll win? Yer talkin' about the richest family in a small town ... it's front-page news when one of 'em takes a shit!

by Anonymousreply 31210/07/2013

Come on love! Part me beef cur'ains.

by Anonymousreply 31310/07/2013

"Oh, this old theater, this church. So replete with memories, so full of ghosts. Mrs. Alving… Uncle Vanya…there’s Cordelia, here's Ophelia. Clytemenstra! Each performance a birth, each curtain...a death. Was that a MUTT?!"

by Anonymousreply 31410/07/2013

FUCK BARBRA STREISAND! AND [bold]YOU![/bold]

by Anonymousreply 31510/07/2013

Congratulations! It's your first suicide!

by Anonymousreply 31610/08/2013

"It's not a pretty face, I grant you, but underneath its flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character."

by Anonymousreply 31710/08/2013

I'm a kid. That's my job.

by Anonymousreply 31810/08/2013

"Oh, look, Millie, its Mrs. Meers. Maybe she'd like a lift."

by Anonymousreply 31910/08/2013

"Repeat after me - Tah, Tey, Tee, Toe, Too."

"Tah, Tey, Tye, Tow, Tyo."

"No, no, no Miss Lamont, Round tones, round tones. Now, let me hear you read your line."

"And I cayn't stand'im."

"And I can't stand him."

"And I cayn't stand'im."

"Can't."

"Cayn't."

"Caaaan't"

"Cayyyyn't"

by Anonymousreply 32010/08/2013

You three ... what a bunch of cocksuckers.

by Anonymousreply 32110/08/2013

Indy! Cover your heart! Cover your heart!

by Anonymousreply 32210/08/2013

"Yes. Yes. I'm George. George McFly. I'm your density. I mean, your destiny."

by Anonymousreply 32310/08/2013

Guido: What are your political views? Other Man: [speaking to his two sons] Benito, Adolf! Sit Down!... Sorry Guido, what did you say?

by Anonymousreply 32410/08/2013

I know how you feel. You don't know if you wanna hit me or kiss me. I get a lot of that.

by Anonymousreply 32510/08/2013

One thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach-all the damn vampires.

by Anonymousreply 32610/08/2013

Love means never having to say you're sorry.

by Anonymousreply 32710/08/2013

That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

by Anonymousreply 32810/08/2013

"No, I'll join this conversation on the proviso that we stop bitching about people, talking about wigs, dresses, bust sizes, penises, drugs, night clubs, and bloody Abba!"

"Doesn't give us much to talk about then, does it?"

by Anonymousreply 32910/08/2013

Everyone in L.A is an actor.

by Anonymousreply 33010/08/2013

"Thank you, James Franco."

by Anonymousreply 33110/08/2013

The sun does not spit!

by Anonymousreply 33210/08/2013

What did one cocksucker say to the other cocksucker?

by Anonymousreply 33310/08/2013

This thread called for random movie quotes, not selected ones.

by Anonymousreply 33410/08/2013

ChiChi! Chichi, get the yayo!

by Anonymousreply 33510/08/2013

Her first natural sleep in weeks.

Poor little thing. Tomorrow you can take the boards out from under her.

by Anonymousreply 33610/08/2013

"I want my Liberace record back tonight!"

"It has a scratch on it!"

by Anonymousreply 33710/08/2013

"From the top of my head to the tip of my penis".

by Anonymousreply 33810/08/2013

"That's right, honey. You've attacked an innocent dwarf."

by Anonymousreply 33910/08/2013

"Heil myself!"

by Anonymousreply 34010/08/2013

What d'ya mean fake? You say "I do", I say "I do", and the judge says "You BET you do", and we're MARRIED!

by Anonymousreply 34110/08/2013

If you put lemon with it, it's all right

by Anonymousreply 34210/08/2013

You have a point. An idiotic one, but a point.

by Anonymousreply 34310/08/2013

"You think you got problems.What about Jeannie's kid? He was in an argument. A lousy ten dollar card game. He pulls out a gun. The gun goes off. Some kid gets killed. When the grandmother hears it and finds out he's in jail, she has a heart attack she drops dead right on the spot. Now Jeannie has a husband and son in jail and a mother in the funeral parlor."

by Anonymousreply 34410/08/2013

In my experience it's always worth waiting for Omar.

by Anonymousreply 34510/08/2013

Go get the butter.

by Anonymousreply 34610/08/2013

Go on, tell me... tell me something sweet. Smile at me and say I just misunderstood. Go on, tell me. You pig-fucker... you goddamn, fucking, pig-fucking liar.

by Anonymousreply 34710/08/2013

I'm a nothing. I spend my life counting other people's money. People I'm smarter than. Better than. I want...I want...I want everything I've ever seen in the movies!

by Anonymousreply 34810/08/2013

Well its official, my penis is now just for show.

by Anonymousreply 34910/08/2013

Everything you told me was a lie!

by Anonymousreply 35010/08/2013

I had the most absurd nightmare. I was poor and no one liked me. I lost my job, I lost my house, Penelope hated me and it was all because of this terrible, awful Negro.

by Anonymousreply 35110/09/2013

It was the Dukes! It was the Dukes!

by Anonymousreply 35210/09/2013

I spy, with my lttle eye, something that starts with C.

by Anonymousreply 35310/09/2013

Brad? Brad Stevenson? Aren't you the guy who popped Amy's cherry?

by Anonymousreply 35410/09/2013

I've got something for your face, mother-FUCKER!

by Anonymousreply 35510/09/2013

I worry that you'll work in an office, have children, celebrate wedding anniversaries. The world of the heterosexual is a sick and boring life.

by Anonymousreply 35610/09/2013

You're a beast, and a swine, and a bloody, bloody thief!

by Anonymousreply 35710/09/2013

I've told you a million times not to talk to me when I'm doing my lashes!

by Anonymousreply 35810/09/2013

I ended by falling on my knees and pledging her eternal love. And do you know that, at that time, and for several hours afterwards, I actually meant it.

by Anonymousreply 35910/09/2013

Don't eat the figs.

by Anonymousreply 36010/09/2013

Go into the office, and make out a check, for "cash," for the sum of $5,000. Then carefully, but carefully Hilary, remove absolutely everything that might subsequently remind me that you had ever been there, including that yellow thing with the blue bulbs which you have such an affection for. Then take the check, for $5,000, which I feel you deserve, and get - permanently - lost. It's not that I don't want to know you, Hilary - although I don't - it's just that I'm afraid we're not really the sort of people that you can afford to be associated with.

[Hilary opens her mouth to say something]

Don't speak, Hilary, just... go.

by Anonymousreply 36110/09/2013

I can't remember what my parents look like.

by Anonymousreply 36210/10/2013

Git out of our way, trash!!

by Anonymousreply 36310/10/2013

Marriage license? Did you say marriage license? Oh I love you Adam, Alex, Peter, Brian, whatever your name is. I hope we have a lot of boys and we can name them all after you.

by Anonymousreply 36410/10/2013

That woman always makes me feel so grubby. I can't stop myself from going down to her level. She's always been a troublemaker. I landed a good few blows today. We're like two dogs fighting over an old slipper.

by Anonymousreply 36510/10/2013

And so it was decreed that each year, the various districts of Panem would offer up in tribute, one young man and woman to fight to the death in a pageant of honor, courage and sacrifice.

by Anonymousreply 36610/10/2013

You were ice-cream for freaks, and I saved your life!

by Anonymousreply 36710/10/2013

Come off it, R33!

by Anonymousreply 36810/10/2013

Chook couldn't come.

by Anonymousreply 36910/10/2013

We're not laughing at you, we're laughing with you.

But I'm not laughing.

by Anonymousreply 37010/10/2013

You're really at the center of it all now, aren't you? You got your powerjob, you got your hipster friends. And all that access... I mean, it's the real shit.

by Anonymousreply 37110/10/2013

Are you black?

by Anonymousreply 37210/10/2013

I am a gentleman's gentleman, and you are no gentleman!

by Anonymousreply 37310/10/2013

Don't anybody leave this room I've lost my purse!

by Anonymousreply 37410/10/2013

It was a son, a son, and I had to kill because this must all end!

by Anonymousreply 37510/10/2013

They put me in Special Ed because of my HAIR!

by Anonymousreply 37610/10/2013

This is a person named Eunice?

by Anonymousreply 37710/10/2013

Sometimes I sing and dance around the house in my underwear. Doesn't make me Madonna. Never will.

by Anonymousreply 37810/10/2013

Whaddya need speech clahss for you tahk fine!

by Anonymousreply 37910/10/2013

Why are some people insisting on putting the name of the character in the Author line? These are supposed to be random.

by Anonymousreply 38010/10/2013

What movie is that from, r387?

by Anonymousreply 38110/10/2013

No, no, it's all right. My wine is not poisoned. It was just a bad year.

by Anonymousreply 38210/10/2013

Shame on you, Swanny!

by Anonymousreply 38310/10/2013

Point it the other way, Wink! You know how I detest organs!

by Anonymousreply 38410/10/2013

"Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard."

by Anonymousreply 38510/10/2013

I'd like to make her look a little more attractive, how far can you pull back ?

How do you feel about Cleveland?

by Anonymousreply 38610/10/2013

"Eric bought a black man."

"I wasn't aware that we sold them."

by Anonymousreply 38710/10/2013

The royal penis is clean, your Highness.

by Anonymousreply 38810/10/2013

This happens every time one of these floozies starts poontangin' around with those show folk fags.

by Anonymousreply 38910/10/2013

I can't "make a run for it". I have bad ankles from waitressing.

by Anonymousreply 39010/10/2013

You old poop!

by Anonymousreply 39110/10/2013

There are no more real men. Facsimiles, that's all. Facsimiles!

by Anonymousreply 39210/11/2013

Thanks, I'll get it later.

by Anonymousreply 39310/11/2013

If my dog was as ugly as you, I'd shave his ass and teach him to walk backwards.

by Anonymousreply 39410/11/2013

Everything you do irritates me. And when you're not here, the things I know you're gonna do when you come in irritate me. You leave me little notes on my pillow. Told you 158 times I can't stand little notes on my pillow. "We're all out of cornflakes. F.U." Took me three hours to figure out F.U. was Felix Ungar!

by Anonymousreply 39510/11/2013

I met him, fifteen years ago; I was told there was nothing left; no reason, no conscience, no understanding; and even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, of good or evil, right or wrong. I met this six-year-old child, with this blank, pale, emotionless face, and the blackest eyes... the devil's eyes. I spent eight years trying to reach him, and then another seven trying to keep him locked up because I realized that what was living behind that boy's eyes was purely and simply...EVIL.

by Anonymousreply 39610/12/2013

You start to play it and it's like somebody's nightmare. And then this woman comes on, smiling at you, right? Seeing you... through the screen. Then when it's over, your phone rings, someone knows you watched the tape... and what they say is, "You will die in seven days."

by Anonymousreply 39710/12/2013

Hot damn! My sister's gonna bust a gut!

by Anonymousreply 39810/12/2013

You see, swimming through corridors and up and down stairwells I'm the only one trained to do things like that.

by Anonymousreply 39910/12/2013

Who the HELL are you?

I'm Owen's friend.

Owen doesn't have a friend!

That's because he's shy.

No he's not. He's fat and he's stupid!

by Anonymousreply 40010/12/2013

No! No! I want an official Red Ryder carbine-action 200-Shot range model air rifle!

by Anonymousreply 40110/12/2013

The last time I saw a mouth like that it had a hook in it.

by Anonymousreply 40210/12/2013

No, Luke. I am your father!

by Anonymousreply 40310/12/2013

"It would be bad enough if you were brother and sister, but twins! It's like fucking a mirror!"

by Anonymousreply 40410/12/2013

R408

You'll shoot your eye out, kid.

by Anonymousreply 40510/12/2013

Hey Vasquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man?

by Anonymousreply 40610/12/2013

R408 and R412: Fra-gee-lay. It must be Italian.

by Anonymousreply 40710/12/2013

Please to excuse the disorder of my home.

by Anonymousreply 40810/12/2013

[italic]I wish people would identify some of the more esoteric quotes. Some of them make me want to see the movies. This one shouldn't be hard[/italic]

whole place turned into a gigantic orgy, every kind of sex freak, from homosexuals to nymphomaniacs, especially the needle and mainlining scene, losing syringes down the pool drains and blocking up the water infiltration system with broken syringes. Oh, it was really some night...Drinking, guzzling tequila, vodka, and scotch, and bourbon, and shooting up every other half-second, and just going into an incredible sexual tailspin. Gobble gobble gobble gobble. Just couldn't get enough of it. It was one of the wildest scenes I've ever been in or ever hope to be in, and I should be ashamed of myself. I'm not, but I should be.

by Anonymousreply 40910/12/2013

"Buzzard's gotta eat, same as the worms."

by Anonymousreply 41010/12/2013

"I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?"

by Anonymousreply 41110/12/2013

"Well, this is the .44 Magnum Auto-Mag and it holds a 300-grain cartridge. And, if properly used, it can remove the fingerprints."

by Anonymousreply 41210/12/2013

"Go ahead, make my day."

by Anonymousreply 41310/12/2013

"The only people who grow old were born old to begin with."

by Anonymousreply 41410/12/2013

'Dong, where is my automobile?'

by Anonymousreply 41510/12/2013

I think you're all fucked in the head! We're ten hours from the fuckin' fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something, this is no longer a vacation, it's a quest. It's a quest for fun, I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun, we're all gonna have so much fuckin' fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our Goddamn smiles! You'll be whistling Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah out of your assholes! I gotta be crazy; I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose! Praise Marty Moose! Holy shit!

by Anonymousreply 41610/12/2013

Ladies and gentlemen, this is your stewardess speaking. We regret any inconvenience the sudden cabin movement might have caused. This is due to periodic air pockets we have encountered. There's no reason to become alarmed and we hope you enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?

by Anonymousreply 41710/12/2013

McCroskey: Johnny, what do you make of this? [hands Johnny a map]

Johnny: This? Well, I can make a hat; a broach; a pterodactyl!

by Anonymousreply 41810/12/2013

Oh, it's a big pretty white plane with red stripes, curtains in the windows, and wheels. It looks like a big Tylenol!

by Anonymousreply 41910/12/2013

THIS IS CETI ALPHA FIVE! Ceti Alpha Six exploded six months after we were left here. The shock shifted the orbit of this planet and everything was laid waste. Admiral Kirk never bothered to check on our progress. It was only the fact of my genetically-engineered intellect that allowed us to survive. On Earth...200 years ago...I was a prince...with power over millions...

by Anonymousreply 42010/12/2013

You can't catch me sleepin'...Don't you ever believe that. I'm not that dumb. The day you try to put anything over on me will be a costly one for both of you...Any more lip out of you and I'll haul off and let ya have it. If ya know what's good for ya, ya won't monkey around with Fred C. Dobbs.

by Anonymousreply 42110/12/2013

"We're something, aren't we? The only animals that shove things up their ass for survival."

by Anonymousreply 42210/12/2013

I know. I'm a queer, a fairy, a poof, huh? But there's one thing you forgot. You may have been framed, as you say you were... but I wasn't. Between the two of us... I'm the one who's killed a man, not you.

by Anonymousreply 42310/12/2013

You better bury Ned right; and don't go cuttin' up... nor otherwise harm no whores, or I'll come back and kill every one of you sons-a-bitches.

by Anonymousreply 42410/12/2013

Well, now the Duck of Death is as good as dead 'cause this time Corky does it right an' aims real good, no hurry... Bam! That Walker Colt blew up in his hand... which was a failing common to that model. Now if Corky would have really had two guns instead of just a big dick he could have defended himself to the end.

by Anonymousreply 42510/12/2013

I do not, for one, think that the problem was that the band was down. I think that the problem MAY have been, that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being crushed by a dwarf. Alright? That tended to understate the hugeness of the object.

by Anonymousreply 42610/12/2013

There is no way, no way that you came from my loins. Soon as I get home, first thing I'm gonna do is punch yo mamma in da mouth.

by Anonymousreply 42710/12/2013

That ain't tactics, honey. It's just the beast in me.

by Anonymousreply 42810/12/2013

Oh my God... I'm back. I'm home. All the time, it was... We finally really did it. YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT UP! OH, DAMN YOU! GODDAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!

by Anonymousreply 42910/12/2013

“Ready are you? What know you of ready? For eight hundred years have I trained Jedi. My own counsel will I keep on who is to be trained. A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. This one, a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away… to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. …Hmm? On what he was doing.”

by Anonymousreply 43010/12/2013

“Give yourself to the Dark Side. It is the only way you can save your friends. Yes; your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for your… sister. So, you have a twin sister. Your feelings have now betrayed her too. Obi-Wan was wise to hide her from me. Now, his failure is complete. If you will not turn to the Dark Side… then perhaps she will…”

by Anonymousreply 43110/12/2013

Brokeback got us good, don't it?

by Anonymousreply 43210/12/2013

Don't try and fool me no more, Ennis. I know what it means. Jack Twist? Jack Nasty!

by Anonymousreply 43310/12/2013

Attention pussy shoppers! Take advantage of our penny pussy sale! If you buy one piece of pussy at the regular price, you get another piece of pussy of equal or lesser value for only a penny! Try and beat pussy for a penny! If you can find cheaper pussy anywhere else, fuck it!

by Anonymousreply 43410/12/2013

"Well, Mr. Carpetbagger, we've got something in this territory called the Missouri boat ride."

by Anonymousreply 43510/12/2013

Ah, but the strawberries! That's, that's where I had them.

by Anonymousreply 43610/12/2013

Now you listen to me, I'm an advertising man, not a red herring. I've got a job, a secretary, a mother, two ex-wives and several bartenders that depend upon me, and I don't intend to disappoint them all by getting myself "slightly" killed.

by Anonymousreply 43710/12/2013

I've... seen things you people wouldn't believe... Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I've watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those... moments... will be lost in time, like tears... in... rain. Time... to die...

by Anonymousreply 43810/12/2013

"Wendy, darling, light of my life! I'm not gonna hurt you. You didn't let me finish my sentence. I said I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'm just gonna bash your brains in. I'm gonna bash 'em right the fuck in!"

by Anonymousreply 43910/12/2013

You know how I know you're gay?

How?

Your dick tastes like shit.

by Anonymousreply 44010/12/2013

They're coming to get you, Barbara!

by Anonymousreply 44110/12/2013

"What are you people, on dope?"

by Anonymousreply 44210/12/2013

And five, now this is the most important, Rat. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV.

by Anonymousreply 44310/12/2013

R: I'm a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That's what kind of man I am. You're just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It's science.

V: I will have you know that I have more talent and more intelligence in my little finger than you do in your entire body, sir.

R: You are a smelly pirate hooker.

V: You look like a blueberry.

R: Why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island?

V: Well, you have bad hair.

R: [insulted] What did you say?

V: I said... your hair... looks stupid.

by Anonymousreply 44410/12/2013

Your use of language has altered since our arrival. It is currently laced with, shall I say, more colorful metaphors-- "Double dumb-ass on you" and so forth.

by Anonymousreply 44510/12/2013

"You liked me once." "Sure. For about 10 minutes one ginny evening."

by Anonymousreply 44610/12/2013

He vould have an enormous schwanzschtücker.

by Anonymousreply 44710/12/2013

It's true what they say: Cops and women don't mix. It's like eating a spoonful of Drano. Sure, it'll clean you out, but it'll leave you hollow inside.

by Anonymousreply 44810/12/2013

Were blowin' the shit out of these prices...Here's a Mercedes Benz. It's hot, it's loaded, and got a price that's too fuckin' high...

by Anonymousreply 44910/12/2013

There was a demon that lived in the air. They said whoever challenged him would die. Their controls would freeze up. Their planes would buffet wildly and they would disintegrate. The demon lived at mach 1 on the meter, 750 miles an hour, where the air could no longer move out of the way. He lived behind a barrier through which they said no man could ever pass. They called it the sound barrier.

by Anonymousreply 45010/12/2013

Now the guy's got Paulie as a partner. Any problems, he goes to Paulie. Trouble with the bill? He can go to Paulie. Trouble with the cops, deliveries, Tommy, he can call Paulie. But now the guy's gotta come up with Paulie's money every week, no matter what. Business bad? "Fuck you, pay me." Oh, you had a fire? "Fuck you, pay me." Place got hit by lightning, huh? "Fuck you, pay me."

by Anonymousreply 45110/12/2013

I looked at you tonight and you weren't there... And I'm gonna howl it out, and I'm not gonna give a damn what I do and I'm gonna make the biggest god-damn explosion you've ever heard.

Try and I'll beat you at your own game.

Is that a threat George, huh?

It's a threat, Martha.

You're gonna get it, baby.

Be careful Martha. I'll rip you to pieces.

You're not man enough. You haven't the guts.

Total war.

Total.

by Anonymousreply 45210/12/2013

"Hey Blondie! You know what you are?! Just a dirty son of a b---"

by Anonymousreply 45310/12/2013

"I don't think it's nice, you laughin'. You see, my mule don't like people laughin'. Gets the crazy idea you're laughin' at him. Now if you apologize like I know you're going to, I might convince him that you really didn't mean it..."

by Anonymousreply 45410/12/2013

Every dead body that is not exterminated becomes one of them. It gets up and kills! The people it kills get up and kill!

by Anonymousreply 45510/12/2013

So that was Mrs. Lundegaard on the floor in there. And I guess that was your accomplice in the wood chipper. And those three people in Brainerd. And for what? For a little bit of money. There's more to life than a little money, you know. Don'tcha know that? And here ya are, and it's a beautiful day. Well. I just don't understand it.

by Anonymousreply 45610/12/2013

Second shelf is mine. That's where I keep my rootbeers and my double-thick Oreo cookies. Nobody touches the second shelf but me.

by Anonymousreply 45710/12/2013

I've been with thousands of men/again and again/they promise the moon/they're always coming and going and going and coming... and always too soon.

by Anonymousreply 45810/12/2013

I understand you have taken exception to my calling you whores. I'm sorry. I apologize. I ask you to note that I did not call you callous-ass strumpets, fornicatresses, or low-born gutter sluts. But I did say "whores." No escaping that. And for that slip of the tongue, I apologize.

by Anonymousreply 45910/12/2013

I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, horn-swogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists.

by Anonymousreply 46010/12/2013

Listen to them. Children of the night. What music they make.

by Anonymousreply 46110/12/2013

Your mother sucks cocks in hell, Karras, you faithless slime.

by Anonymousreply 46210/12/2013

Don't leave this girl alone with any handsome deaf mutes, Marty. that's my advice to you!

by Anonymousreply 46310/12/2013

Never in my wildest imagination, I NEVER thought it could be like that. That was the most exciting sexual encounter - without actually having it - that I ever, almost had.

by Anonymousreply 46410/12/2013

I've been afraid a lot of times in my life, but I didn't know the real meaning of fear until... until I had kissed Becky.

by Anonymousreply 46510/12/2013

I'm an unspeakable of the Oscar Wilde sort.

by Anonymousreply 46610/12/2013

You're not the boss of me, Jack. You're not the king of Dirk. I'm the boss of me. I'm the king of me. I'm Dirk Diggler. I'm the star. It's my big dick and I say when we roll. You know what? I'm the biggest star here, man. That's the way it is! I want to fuck! It's my big dick! So, everybody get ready fuckin' NOW!

by Anonymousreply 46710/12/2013

You're going to look pretty silly with that knife sticking out of your ass.

by Anonymousreply 46810/12/2013

Well, I ain't sorry for you no more, ya crazy, psalm-singing, skinny old maid!

by Anonymousreply 46910/12/2013

You bitch! You cunt! Oh, you can act like the grande dame but we both know what you are...a dirty, filthy little cunt. A disgusting guttersnipe who fucked her way into what's now considered "society"...You won't last long, I can promise you that! And I'll be waiting to rejoice your downfall!

by Anonymousreply 47010/12/2013

Even those who are pure of heart, and say their prayers by night, become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms, and the moon is clear and bright.

by Anonymousreply 47110/12/2013

"I'll get you my pretty, and your little dong too."

by Anonymousreply 47210/12/2013

You see... I don't leave my diamonds in the soap dish... and when the time comes when nobody desires me... for myself... I'd rather not be... desired... at all.

by Anonymousreply 47310/12/2013

Christian, you may see me only as a drunken, vice-ridden gnome whose friends are just pimps and girls from the brothels. But I know about art and love, if only because I long for it with every fiber of my being.

by Anonymousreply 47410/12/2013

Hey. They laughed at Louis Armstrong when he said he was gonna go to the moon. Now he's up there, laughing at them.

by Anonymousreply 47510/12/2013

Nature, Mr. Allnut, is what we are put in this world to rise above.

by Anonymousreply 47610/12/2013

She only holds you in middling esteem.

by Anonymousreply 47710/12/2013

Everything. OK! I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog... When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out... But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

by Anonymousreply 47810/12/2013

Wait, Jack. I'm not a complicated man. I like cinema. In particular, I like to see people fucking on film. But I don't want to win an Oscar and I don't want to reinvent the wheel.

I like simple pleasures... like butter in my ass, lollipops in my mouth. That's just me. That's just something that I enjoy.

Call me crazy, call me a pervert... but there's one little thing I want to do in this life and that is to make a dollar and a cent in this business. I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm trying to help you stay one step ahead of the game.

by Anonymousreply 47910/12/2013

"Excuse me... Uh, Excuse me. What does God need with a starship?"

by Anonymousreply 48010/12/2013

Ah, it's not the same. They don't need me. I like the way I feel. I like thinking about the red dress and the television and you and your father. Now when I get the sun, I smile.

by Anonymousreply 48110/12/2013

Maybe we coo hava peek neek.

by Anonymousreply 48210/12/2013

"Fredo, you're nothing to me now. You're not a brother, you're not a friend. I don't want to know you or what you do. I don't want to see you at the hotels, I don't want you near my house. When you see our mother, I want to know a day in advance, so I won't be there. You understand?"

by Anonymousreply 48310/12/2013

Whoa, did somebody step on a duck?

by Anonymousreply 48410/12/2013

I hate space.

by Anonymousreply 48510/12/2013

"No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die!"

by Anonymousreply 48610/12/2013

"There are all sorts of different families, Katie. Some families have one mommy, some families have one daddy, or two families. And some children live with their uncle or aunt. Some live with their grandparents, and some children live with foster parents. And some live in separate homes, in separate neighborhoods, in different areas of the country - and they may not see each other for days, or weeks, months... even years at a time. But if there's love, dear... those are the ties that bind, and you'll have a family in your heart, forever. All my love to you, poppet, you're going to be all right... bye-bye."

by Anonymousreply 48710/12/2013

When you're slapped, you'll take it and like it.

by Anonymousreply 48810/12/2013

I don't take whores in taxis!

by Anonymousreply 48910/12/2013

Good Lawd Latrelle. Don't you know better than to sneak up on someone when they're tawkin' to a corpse?

by Anonymousreply 49010/12/2013

How cheap! How loathsome! And on your way home to see your fiancee.

by Anonymousreply 49110/12/2013

"They're never gonna let you perform naked. I asked."

by Anonymousreply 49210/12/2013

"SHE'S NOT LISTENING TO YOU. She's nerv, she's freaking out!"

"Well get the Busy Bee. You want your Busy Bee? We'll get your Busy Bee."

YOU GET THE Busy Bee, I need to trim her whiskers. It's in the CRATE! It's in the CRATE!!!"

"Why didn't you have it out to begin with?"

"Where in the crate? It's not in here!"

"IT SHOULD BE IN THE CRATE!"

"IT'S NOT IN THE CRATE! I JUST TOLD YOU THAT!"

"GOD HAMILTON, IF SHE DOESN'T GET HER BUSY BEE SHE'S GONNA FLIP OOOOUT!!!!"

"It's not in here. You left it at the hotel!"

"You go back to the hotel AND YOU GET HER BUSY BEE!"

"GO TO THE HOTEL AND GET BUSY BEE!!!"

"RUN!" "RUN!" "GO!!!!"

by Anonymousreply 49310/13/2013

Are you kidding me? It was a fucking paradise. They got pool... They got golf... Now I'm stuck with Mr. Happy here, sleeping on a fucking sofa. Look, I know you are a homo and all, but maybe you can appreciate this. You go to one of those places, there's four women for every guy. Can you imagine what that's like?

by Anonymousreply 49410/13/2013

When I was a young girl, I was gay all the time.

by Anonymousreply 49510/13/2013

I'm telling you this guy is protected from up on high by the prince of darkness.

by Anonymousreply 49610/13/2013

We're sisters under the mink.

by Anonymousreply 49710/13/2013

"My grandmother would have pissed on you bitches till you sprouted daisies."

by Anonymousreply 49810/13/2013

I think I'll dye my hair another color and start dressing like a dyke!

by Anonymousreply 49910/14/2013

I met him, fifteen years ago; I was told there was nothing left; no reason, no conscience, no understanding; and even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, of good or evil, right or wrong. I met this six-year-old child, with this blank, pale, emotionless face, and the blackest eyes... the devil's eyes. I spent eight years trying to reach him, and then another seven trying to keep him locked up because I realized that what was living behind that boy's eyes was purely and simply...evil.

by Anonymousreply 50010/14/2013

"They are not the Hell your whales."

by Anonymousreply 50110/14/2013

Are you gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?

by Anonymousreply 50210/14/2013

Her pussy gets sooooooo wet!

by Anonymousreply 50310/14/2013

On the moors, we were attacked by a lycanthrope, a werewolf. I was murdered, an unnatural death, and now I walk the earth in limbo until the werewolf's curse is lifted.

by Anonymousreply 50410/14/2013

"Why can't I quit you?"

by Anonymousreply 50510/14/2013

You got a wife? Well, you be sweet to her. My husband wasn't sweet to me and look how I turned out.

by Anonymousreply 50610/14/2013

But your Majesty, you cannot die an old maid.

I have no intention to, Chancellor. I shall die a bachelor!

by Anonymousreply 50710/14/2013

Twenty-five words or less? Okay. Movie exec calls writer. Writer's girlfriend says he's at the movies. Exec goes to the movies, meets writer, drinks with writer. Writer gets conked and dies in four inches of dirty water. Movie exec is in deep shit. What do you think?

by Anonymousreply 50810/14/2013

"You try to live three miles from me and you won't live long, honey. You best keep runnin', Clyde Barrow. And you know it."

by Anonymousreply 50910/14/2013

Actually R513, it's "I wish I knew how to quit you."

by Anonymousreply 51010/14/2013

"You thought I loved Rebecca? I hated her."

"Then why the fuck didn't you tell me before you fuckwad."

by Anonymousreply 51110/15/2013

You know, I'll bet those Golden Tickets make the chocolate taste terrible.

by Anonymousreply 51210/15/2013

Let me lick your pretty piggy cunt!

by Anonymousreply 51310/15/2013

AND EVE WUZ WAEK!

by Anonymousreply 51410/15/2013

I wanted hearts, not diamonds.

by Anonymousreply 51510/15/2013

This is the most important part of your education. The part your teachers fail to instruct you in. It's called balling.

by Anonymousreply 51610/15/2013

You think my life turned out the way I wanted because I live in this house? You think every morning I wake up, look in the mirror and say "Gee I'm glad I'm me and not some 19-year-old billionaire rockstar with the body of an athlete and a 24-hour erection!" No I don't! So just excuse the shit out of me!

by Anonymousreply 51710/15/2013

I wanna' see Garbo.

by Anonymousreply 51810/15/2013

If I were on death row, I'd request my final meal to be right between k d lang's legs.

by Anonymousreply 51910/15/2013

You appear with the tedious inevitability of an unloved season

by Anonymousreply 52010/15/2013

Death has come to your little town, sheriff.

by Anonymousreply 52110/15/2013

I didn't surrender, but they took my horse and made him surrender. They have him pulling a wagon up in Kansas I bet.

by Anonymousreply 52210/15/2013

Eight more days 'til Halloween, Halloween, Halloween.

Eight more days 'til Halloween, Silver Shamrock.

by Anonymousreply 52310/15/2013

Confidence! I want a man who gives me confidence. Somebody to fight off the blizzards and the floods. Somebody to beat off the world when it tries to swallow you up.

by Anonymousreply 52410/15/2013

Two days ago, I saw a vehicle that would haul that tanker. You want to get out of here? You talk to me.

by Anonymousreply 52510/15/2013

I see you are practiced in worshiping things that fly. Good. Now, rise before Zod.

by Anonymousreply 52610/15/2013

Just never take any class where they make you read Beowulf.

by Anonymousreply 52710/15/2013

So yes, I am nouveau riche. But then it's the riche that counts, doesn't it?

by Anonymousreply 52810/17/2013

I'm straight too! Straight to my house, let's go.

by Anonymousreply 52910/17/2013

I haven't seen my analyst in 200 years. He was a strict Freudian. If I'd been going all this time, I'd probably almost be cured by now.

by Anonymousreply 53010/17/2013

You're immature, Fielding.

How am I immature?

Well, emotionally, sexually, and intellectually.

Yeah, but what other ways?

by Anonymousreply 53110/17/2013

Beverly, honey, you have some doo-doo on your shoe!

by Anonymousreply 53210/17/2013

I shoved your tap shoes in my panties before I was blown out of the house. You go find the guy who cut 'em off.

by Anonymousreply 53310/17/2013

I liked you once. Then I wished I didn't. And then I got my wish.

by Anonymousreply 53410/17/2013

Well, FUCK YOU. Half-dead muthafucka. Come on, sista!

by Anonymousreply 53510/17/2013

"Do a lot of people have the license plate 'So Cool'?"

by Anonymousreply 53610/18/2013

Wow, that was really scary. And if you don't mind me saying, if that don't work your breath will certainly get the job done, cause you definitely need some Tic-Tacs or something cause your breath STINKS!

by Anonymousreply 53710/18/2013

Bolt the door, Mariah.

by Anonymousreply 53810/19/2013

John-eeeeeeeee! They took my THUMB!

by Anonymousreply 53910/19/2013

But you will! But you will, and I'll get bored with you and feel trapped, because that's what happens with me.

by Anonymousreply 54010/19/2013

He did it.

He did it last year, last week, last night, and he will do it again soon if he isn't stopped.

by Anonymousreply 54110/19/2013

One of those no-neck monsters hit me with some ice cream. Their fat little heads sit on their fat little bodies without a bit of connection...you can't wring their necks if they got no necks to wring. Isn't that right, honey?...Think of it, they've got five monsters and number six comin' up.

by Anonymousreply 54210/19/2013

But once he opens that door, we shall know everything.

by Anonymousreply 54310/19/2013

We accept her, one of us.

We accept her, one of us.

Gooble gobble, gooble gobble.

We accept her, we accept her.

Gooble gobble, gooble gobble.

One of us, one of us.

by Anonymousreply 54410/19/2013

"Hey Doolittle Lynn, who's that sow you got wallowin' in your jeep?"

by Anonymousreply 54510/21/2013

Captain Fucking Magic

by Anonymousreply 54610/21/2013

It was a cold and rainy day in March. I went to Kristoff's where I usually get my hair done but Kristoff wasn't there. He had mysteriously disappeared. In his place was a stranger named Rinaldo. I'll never forget him. His eyes were steely gray. His hands were like ice. He said, "I'll streak your hair and I'll give you a body wave." He worked very fast and then, as he turned my chair around to face the mirror, I saw it. He permed me!

by Anonymousreply 54710/21/2013

I'm not Roman. And you were not...

by Anonymousreply 54810/21/2013

"You presumed wrong."

by Anonymousreply 54910/21/2013

Where's my martini?!

by Anonymousreply 55010/28/2013

"There's a liquor store ahead on the right."

"I should've known you'd know where to find the boys AND the booze."

by Anonymousreply 55110/28/2013

I'm afraid Paolo is really a little marchetta.

by Anonymousreply 55210/28/2013

"Not now. I'm on my wine break!"

by Anonymousreply 55310/28/2013

"Could you please step, on the same foot, at the same time?!? My tits are falling off!"

by Anonymousreply 55410/28/2013

Why don't you get down on all fours again, Waldo? It's the only time you've ever kept your mouth shut.

by Anonymousreply 55510/28/2013

Get away from her, you BITCH!

by Anonymousreply 55610/28/2013

"There's more to life than just a little bit of money. Doncha know that?"

by Anonymousreply 55710/28/2013

Welcome to my maxi-pad.

by Anonymousreply 55810/28/2013

Sometimes I doubt your commitment to 'Sparkle Motion'...

by Anonymousreply 55910/28/2013

Well, the best thing I can say about her is that all her tatoos are spelled correctly.

by Anonymousreply 56010/29/2013

[quote]tatoos are spelled correctly.

Which, my friend, is more than we can say about you...wink.

by Anonymousreply 56110/29/2013

I love how rich people live. I love how I live when I'm with them.

by Anonymousreply 56210/29/2013

Ooooo, ring-a-ding-ding!

by Anonymousreply 56310/29/2013

Six months in Miami! How I envy you!

by Anonymousreply 56410/29/2013

Money, pardon the expression, is like manure. It's not worth a thing unless it's spread around, encouraging young things to grow.

by Anonymousreply 56510/30/2013

"Don't do it."

by Anonymousreply 56610/30/2013

Matty: [to Ned] You aren't too smart, are you? I like that in a man.

Ned: What else do you like? Lazy? Ugly? Horny? I got 'em all.

Matty: You don't look lazy.

by Anonymousreply 56710/30/2013

"I'll go heat up the lasagna"

by Anonymousreply 56810/30/2013

On a scale of one to ten, how good is he in bed?

by Anonymousreply 56910/30/2013

"Ten year old redhead? Nope! Sorry. Ain't got any."

by Anonymousreply 57010/31/2013

That's not an MP, that's a YP, your problem. Come up with the money, or forget it.

by Anonymousreply 57110/31/2013

[yells] I am retired officer of the RAF, twice decorated. I flew two hundred and seven missions over occupied territory - in bra and panties!

by Anonymousreply 57210/31/2013

We rarely eat any form of noodle, Dawn, but I'll have a tiny portion to be polite. With cheese, please.

by Anonymousreply 57310/31/2013

I want my two dollars!

by Anonymousreply 57410/31/2013

"Well, we can't all just sit around here waitin' to grow tits."

by Anonymousreply 57511/01/2013

Don't you hate Perry's wife?

by Anonymousreply 57611/01/2013

"You're gonna stand there, owning a fireworks stand, and tell me you don't have no whistling bungholes, no spleen spliters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker dont's, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistling kitty chaser?"

by Anonymousreply 57711/01/2013

The room's a wreck but she folded her napkin!

by Anonymousreply 57811/01/2013

It's becoming ridiculous the way you grab attention. Whenever I start to tell a story, you finish it. If I go on a diet, you lose the weight. If I have a cold, you cough. And if we should ever have a baby, I'm not so sure I'd be the mother.

by Anonymousreply 57911/01/2013

"Sieze her! Sieze her and fuck her!"

by Anonymousreply 58011/02/2013

“No profit grows where is no pleasure ta'en"

by Anonymousreply 58111/02/2013

"Hey man, I've got a little brother who's retarded! Don't use that word in a derogatory fashion."

by Anonymousreply 58211/02/2013

"Her lover had the instincts of a stallion and the pride of an alley cat."

by Anonymousreply 58311/04/2013

I... never played a jewel thief.

by Anonymousreply 58411/04/2013

"Jennifer, this is fabulous liqueur. Reminds me of the moonshine Ricky's dead pappy used to make. God bless 'em."

by Anonymousreply 58511/04/2013

"Yes, but I chose to rise above the attitudes of this small town, while you chose to lay spread over a gravestone and take them inside you!"

by Anonymousreply 58611/04/2013

The end of the line, baby. This is where I get off.

by Anonymousreply 58711/04/2013

Did she read the script?

by Anonymousreply 58811/04/2013

"You weigh a little more than 108."

by Anonymousreply 58911/04/2013

"You can eat shit as far as I'm concerned, Miss Sandstone, or eat anything you like, or do anything you like, just don't assume that I want to know your troubles. Now if you wouldn't mind, I'm a busy woman with a full day's work ahead of me. Please remove yourself from my office!"

by Anonymousreply 59011/07/2013

"If anyone's gonna piss on him, it's going to be me. He don't like strangers peeing on him."

by Anonymousreply 59111/07/2013
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