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A DAY IN THE LIFE OF JOE REPUBLICAN

Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards.

With his first swallow of coffee, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to insure their safety and that they work as advertised. All but $10 of his medications is paid for by his employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance - now Joe gets it too.

He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.

Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air.

He walks to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

Joe begins his work-day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe's employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to call the union.

If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

Its noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.

Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime.

Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards.

He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans. The house didn't have electricity until some anti-big government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.

He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, brie-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to.

Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day.

Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals running our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have."

by Oldie but goodiereply 7510/02/2013

You're showing your ignorance, OP.

by Oldie but goodiereply 109/27/2013

Now, he's showing the ignorance and hypocrisy of conservative republicans.

by Oldie but goodiereply 209/27/2013

Die in a fucking fire, R1.

by Oldie but goodiereply 309/27/2013

What a silly, shallow post. OP is a fool.

by Oldie but goodiereply 409/27/2013

Yeah, in what way, r4?

by Oldie but goodiereply 509/27/2013

R4 Translated:

Every word OP wrote is true. I will instead call names. That always works.

by Oldie but goodiereply 609/27/2013

Exactly, r6, truth hurts, even Neanderthals!.

by Oldie but goodiereply 709/27/2013

I have read a lot of dumb shit on the internet, this takes the fucking cake.

by Oldie but goodiereply 809/27/2013

Could at least ONE of the people accusing the OP's post of being invalid explain exactly WHY this is so?

by Oldie but goodiereply 909/27/2013

Not bad, but that was a looooooong way to go for a joke.

by Oldie but goodiereply 1009/27/2013

Because every thing you mentioned would have happened thanks to the free market. A company that sells spoiled meat will not stay in business, so neither Joe nor anyone else would buy E Coli Brand Bacon. If water were not regulated by the municipality, Joe could easily use his own well water. Why should he when his money is being confiscated to pay for a city water system he never asked for?

Same with the shampoo company. Free market wins. Whoever makes the best cheapest shampoo stays in business. If consumers know that what's in the bottle doesn't match what the label says, they don't buy it. Shampoo company goes out of business. Shampoo company that makes good shampoo wins the market share. No government needed, except to prop up underperforming shampoo companies by taking money out of Joe's pocket.

If Joe is truly deserving of his salary and benefits, he will earn them. If he isn't, he shouldn't. All unions do is protect the lazy and incompetent. If Joe's employer didn't have a union to answer to, he could hire whoever was qualified at whatever the fair market value is. Why should Joe care whether some lazy ignoramus gets weekends off? If ignoramus doesn't like it, he can get a better job. If he can't get a better job, then he should be grateful for what he has.

The US banking system is one of the most corrupt in the world, FSLIC or not. All that does is give cushy salaries and pensions to government paper pushers. Again, a bank that you can't withdraw from is never going to keep its customers. Again, all regulation does is prop up the unsuccessful by stealing from those who are.

Joe seems to be paying off his mortgage and his student loans in your example, unlike so many of his fellow citizens who took those below-market mortgages and used them to buy houses they knew they couldn't pay for, and for their kids to get bullshit liberal arts degrees that qualify them to do nothing. If both of those programs went away, Joe and everyone else would be better off. Can't afford college or a house without the government's help? Get a job.

Joe's car is very likely an import. Again, free market. People won't buy cars that kill them. We don't need government incentive to build safer cars - people not wanting to die takes care of that naturally. But of course, where are the government pensions in that plan?

Joe's father lives on Social Security because his money was confiscated in order to pay for it. He's only getting back what he put in, and frankly he should have had the choice to invest it how he wanted. He probably could have gotten a much better return than his SS pays him.

Rural electrification? Would have happened with or without governemnt intervention, numnuts. Thank God the government has learned its lesson and has said no to wiring rural areas for high speed internet. Again, if that hicks want it, they can pay for it. Kindly keep your hand out of my pocket, thanks.

Sounds like the Radio Show Host is the only person in your story who really knows what's going on. The rest is all hippy-dippy feel-good liberal bullcrap that the majority of Americans are well and truly sick of.

The Joe in your story is absolutely a self-made man and should be proud of what he's accomplished. It's liberal whiners like you who post this bullcrap that really need to be taught a lesson about how the world works.

By the way, I'm a die-hard Democrat and I believe absolutely none of what I just wrote, but I thought I'd do our conservative wank-jobs a favor since all they can manage are one-sentence ad hominem attacks.

If you agree with what I wrote? Then you're a fucking, fucking idiot.

by Oldie but goodiereply 1109/27/2013

[quote]The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards.

Liberals don't drink tap water.

by Oldie but goodiereply 1209/27/2013

FSLIC? This is old.

by Oldie but goodiereply 1309/27/2013

Thanks for posting this OP. Haven't seen it before, will send it around. It's great!

by Oldie but goodiereply 1409/27/2013

>>Joe could easily use his own well water.

by Oldie but goodiereply 1509/27/2013

You're right, r16. what a silly concept.

by Oldie but goodiereply 1609/27/2013

Damn those Liberals!

If it weren't for them, we could buy the cheap polluted water that we really desire.

by Oldie but goodiereply 1709/27/2013

What about when my well is polluted by the frack mining business? Or just by my terrible neighbor?

by Oldie but goodiereply 1809/27/2013

Be nicer to your neighbors. Don't live where fracking happens.

by Oldie but goodiereply 1909/27/2013

O'Bummer's a Nazi socialist! Hillary's a lezzie! Clinton's penis! Clinton's penis!! CLINTON'S PENIS!!!!!

by Oldie but goodiereply 2009/27/2013

Being nice to your neighbors doesn't mean they care about dumping chemicals. If a frack mine opens, everyone should just move?

by Oldie but goodiereply 2109/27/2013

[quote]Because every thing you mentioned would have happened thanks to the free market.

R12 is the most delusional moron I've ever seen.

Your claim that a company that sells tainted meat wouldn't remain in business was proven wrong over a hundred hears ago. Read "The Jungle" for starters.

Corporations have nearly ZERO motivation to do the right thing, and in the absence of regulation, will go to any lengths to cut costs and increase profits for CEOs, executives, and shareholders, at the expense of everyone else. And with massive amounts of money, they can write their own laws, buy off judges, and basically lie their asses off without any negative consequences (i.e. it costs a lot less to pay off one lawsuit than to do things right from the beginning).

Time and time again, history disproves everything that idiot spouted.

And try to imagine a "private" version of our highway system... a patchwork quilt of toll roads, some redundant, which would snarl up shipping and travel for everyone and dramatically increase costs for everyone. UGH!

He is a complete sucker, that believes this amazingly bizarre thing:

[quote]Capitalism is the astounding belief that the most wickedest of men will do the most wickedest of things for the greatest good of everyone.

Which just proves what a deluded fool he is.

by Oldie but goodiereply 2209/27/2013

R13, no dearheart, we buy water filters and eschew plastic bottles.

by Oldie but goodiereply 2309/27/2013

[quote]What about when my well is polluted by the frack mining business? Or just by my terrible neighbor?

Your water well will be 200ft deep at most.

Fracking: Thousands of feet below the surface. Often below sea level.

by Oldie but goodiereply 2409/27/2013

Evidently some people arent reading to the end of r12:

"By the way, I'm a die-hard Democrat and I believe absolutely none of what I just wrote, but I thought I'd do our conservative wank-jobs a favor since all they can manage are one-sentence ad hominem attacks.

If you agree with what I wrote? Then you're a fucking, fucking idiot."

by Oldie but goodiereply 2509/27/2013

Building houses in fracking areas makes as much sense as building them on the Louisiana coastline.

You build a house on the ocean and it gets washed away in a flood, your fault. You build a house near a mountain that can provide oil and your well gets polluted once the fracking starts? Your fault. It's not the mining company's responsibility to give you clean drinking water.

by Oldie but goodiereply 2609/27/2013

R25 = more proof that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Moron.

by Oldie but goodiereply 2709/27/2013

Everyone not in a union and working ABOVE the minimum wage is subject to the free marketplace for their salary.

This is most of the labor force.

by Oldie but goodiereply 2809/27/2013

[quote]Because every thing you mentioned would have happened thanks to the free market.

If the free market did those things alone, then we wouldnt need regulators. But the free market doesnt. Given the chance, Tyson will sell you contaminated food or GM will sell you an unsafe car. How do we know this? Because they have done this in the past and will keep trying to do it.

by Oldie but goodiereply 2909/27/2013

[quote]Your fault. It's not the mining company's responsibility to give you clean drinking water.

R27, it IS the mining company's obligation (let alone responsibility) to not trash the environment in the process of conducting their business.

The simple reason is a very conservative one: Because the taxpayer's should be left holding the bag, paying for the cost of the eventual clean-up of the irresponsible company.

When conservatives abandoned "conservation" is beyond me, but it proves that Republicans aren't conservative at all... they're radical regressives and anarchists and corporatists.

by Oldie but goodiereply 3009/27/2013

"Everyone not in a union and working ABOVE the minimum wage is subject to the free marketplace for their salary.

This is most of the labor force."

No, because those union-free businesses are competing for the same workers as unionized shops and therefore have to compete with them.

A high tide rises all boats.

by Oldie but goodiereply 3109/27/2013

Actually, it's the mining company's responsibility to return a profit to its shareholders. If environmental responsibility negatively impacts that, then they have should be under no obligation to do so.

by Oldie but goodiereply 3209/27/2013

R30, IF Tyson was going to sell shittier food and IF GM was going to sell shittier cars, consumers would know and go to other vendors. There are things like review forums, consumer reports, etc do far more than our ineffective government could dream of doing. The worst enemy of an shit product is an educated consumer. Believe it or not, people can make their own decisions!

by Oldie but goodiereply 3309/27/2013

[quote]Tyson will sell you contaminated food or GM will sell you an unsafe car.

There were zero government regulations on cars before the 1960s.

Seat belts and air bags were all invented by the private sector. They were "options" you could buy.

Now they are mandatory. You have no choice in the matter. And don't even think you're not paying for them. And guess what? Government mandated airbags started KILLING CHILDREN. Solution? MORE GOVERNMENT REGULATIONS. Car seats, kids in back, reverse facing, all backed up with LAWS, and FINES, and EXPENSE and intrusion into your life.

Remember riding in the back seat without seat belts? FORBIDDEN!!! by the Nanny State!

A different example: Cup Holders. (not a government requirement) Just try to find a car without them. Why? People DEMAND them.

by Oldie but goodiereply 3409/27/2013

R12, the easiest thing in the world to do is play the "it would have happened anyway" game because there is no burden of proof and no way for us to argue against it. I could argue that if Nixon had beaten Kennedy in 1960 we'd be colonizing Mars right now. Prove that we wouldn't!

The fact is what OP describes is largely how it did play out - IN THE REAL WORLD. Those things had to happen, again, in the real world, because at the time there wasn't a sense that the market was going to take care of it.

by Oldie but goodiereply 3509/27/2013

Whatever, R26, we're using it as a jumping off point for discussion and Libertarians do believe those arguments.

by Oldie but goodiereply 3609/27/2013

R38, as shitty as it is (mostly due to conservative pushback on common sense regulations), it's still way WAY better than it was before TDR pushed the "Square Deal" regulations over a hundred years ago.

by Oldie but goodiereply 3709/27/2013

You don't have to know very much about economics to realize that, if companies can get away with imposing externalities on third parties (e.g., by emitting lethal smoke from their furnaces), they will do so.

by Oldie but goodiereply 3809/27/2013

[quote]You don't have to know very much about economics to realize that, if companies can get away with imposing externalities on third parties (e.g., by emitting lethal smoke from their furnaces), they will do so.

The most polluted places on earth are "government/public" land.

Nobody owns it, so nobody cares.

Air and Oceans = The tragedy of the commons.

And economics teaches you all about it.

by Oldie but goodiereply 3909/27/2013

Source, R42?

by Oldie but goodiereply 4009/27/2013

r42/r35 is the Republican shill from the global warming threads. Trolldar.

by Oldie but goodiereply 4109/27/2013

Wikipedia is your friend

by Oldie but goodiereply 4209/27/2013

It's a damn shame R35 wasn't tossed out of a crashing car as a child.

by Oldie but goodiereply 4309/27/2013

Most of the Republicans I know shop at Whole Foods, eat whole food, cook at home, eat locally. Way to stereotype OP.

by Oldie but goodiereply 4409/27/2013

[quote]If consumers know that what's in the bottle doesn't match what the label says, they don't buy it.

This is complete and utter bullshit. I MAKE this shit and I can tell you that 98% of ALL shampoos are EXACTLY the same. So why do some dumb asses pay $15 for a bottle when they can get the EXACT same thing for $4? Because they're fucking stupid and DO NOT read labels.

by Oldie but goodiereply 4509/27/2013

Yes, R47, because you know MOST Republicans, and a REPRESENTATIVE SAMPLE of Republicans (rolling eyes).

Seriously, did you even think before posting that?

by Oldie but goodiereply 4609/27/2013

OP,

Your first post has about 14 or 15 paragraphs too many.

by Oldie but goodiereply 4709/27/2013

R29, the labor laws governing those nonunion companies wouldn't exist except for unions anyway.

by Oldie but goodiereply 4809/28/2013

R49, I am glad you posted that response, I was momentarily too speechless to type after reading it.

by Oldie but goodiereply 4909/28/2013

Hey, great post, R12. Welcome R1,R4,R9,&R11, and the rest of the Neanderthal deniers, to the world of Conservatism of Cantor and Cruz. Here's some great advice: All you Neanderthal deniers have to do is go South or West.

Go ahead. Take your sorry, free market, conservative asses down to Mississippi, Louisiana, Georgia, Alabama, Florida, or any one of the other anti-federal government, gay hating, Obama hating states out there.

Get a fucking preview of the crumbling infrastructure, the rotten schools, the toothless 40 yr. olds, and the malnourished, kids who can't read and write.

Look at the "volunteer " fire departments, and EMS, the inferior hospitals, the polluted drinking water. Yes, it is. The inferior water and sewage systems see to it. Or, if you don't like the South, Maybe North or South Dakota or some parts of the Western US? it doesn't matter.

by Oldie but goodiereply 5009/28/2013

Unsafe at Any Speed: The Designed-In Dangers of the American Automobile by Ralph Nader, published in 1965, is a book detailing resistance by car manufacturers to the introduction of safety features, like seat belts, and their general reluctance to spend money on improving safety.

It was a pioneering work, openly polemical but containing substantial references and material from industry insiders. It made Nader a household name.

by Oldie but goodiereply 5109/28/2013

R54, not to dwell on the obvious, but that was 1965. Consumers are far more educated and and consumer demand drives changes much quicker than government. Think backup cameras, backup sensors, lane departure systems. You really need to work on more modern sources.

by Oldie but goodiereply 5209/28/2013

And don't forget DDT!

by Oldie but goodiereply 5309/28/2013

The Republican mind summed up in 10 secs:

by Oldie but goodiereply 5409/28/2013

R55, not to dwell on the obvious, but it was the push for safety regulations that enabled consumers to educate themselves, and which pushed safety as a 'desirable feature' (i.e. people want cars that EXCEED the base limits set by regulations), which motivated auto manufacturers to really concentrate on safety as a selling point.

So what we have today that you describe is all thanks to initial regulations, which corporations never would have gotten on board with unless forced to.

by Oldie but goodiereply 5509/28/2013

r49 you realize that having a fit is unbecoming? I never said I knew "most Republicans", I said the ones I knew shopped at WF, eat well, forgot to add that they also exercise, and that the OP was stereotyping.

by Oldie but goodiereply 5609/28/2013

R59, you know Whole Foods is run by a republican who hates ObamaCare and is trying to screw his employees out of benefits, right? What does shopping at Whole Foods have to do with political party?

OP was stereotyping only in that he was describing probably 80% of self-described Republicans. That you know a few exceptions to the rule doesn't prove anything.

by Oldie but goodiereply 5709/28/2013

(never mind you stereotyping people who shop at Whole Foods...)

by Oldie but goodiereply 5809/28/2013

r60 I thought WF has amazing health care benefits with partner benefits?

by Oldie but goodiereply 5909/28/2013

The national parks belong to the federal government. Are they the most polluted lands in the world?

by Oldie but goodiereply 6009/28/2013

Pass it on.

by Oldie but goodiereply 6109/30/2013

Republicans really do get butt-hurt when their hypocrisy is pointed out to them, don't they?

by Oldie but goodiereply 6210/01/2013

[quote]The national parks belong to the federal government. Are they the most polluted lands in the world?

No, but military bases are.

All are exempt from environmental regulations too.

by Oldie but goodiereply 6310/01/2013

Picture of our beautiful Angeles National Forest for r63.

by Oldie but goodiereply 6410/01/2013

These stunted tea party retards are endangering the livelihood of families across the country. It's past time to take them out of the equation.

by Oldie but goodiereply 6510/01/2013

Holy shit, there are actually Republicans on the gay site. Fucking walk into fire and die, you worthless pieces of ignorant, bias, uneducated shit. And don't trip on your pumps walking into the flames of hell.

by Oldie but goodiereply 6610/01/2013

Don't forget when Joe retires, he will happily cash his Social Security checks that are the result of some Commie liberal President.

by Oldie but goodiereply 6710/01/2013

30% of Gays and Lesbians vote republican, r69.

Choke on it.

by Oldie but goodiereply 6810/01/2013

We're all choking because of your stupidity and the stupidity of those like you, R71. You're destroying the whole country unless you get your way. Fuck you. I'd rather see it all burn then let you use economic terrorism to try to shove your social agenda down our throats.

by Oldie but goodiereply 6910/01/2013

r71 I don't care if 99.9% of gays and lesbians vote Repug. They are absolute imbeciles who are voting against their own self interests. Do these jackasses really think the Repug party embraces them?! What stupid fucking assholes. A fiery death is too good for them. Choke to death on Gingrich cock.

by Oldie but goodiereply 7010/01/2013

You Tea Party nuts want to be crazy in your own homes, I don't give a shit. When it starts hurting me and my family, you'd better watch out.

by Oldie but goodiereply 7110/01/2013

Amen to that!

by Oldie but goodiereply 7210/02/2013
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