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This cannot be real. Or can it? From NYT weddings.

In the fall he asked her to stop taking classes at Tapovana. “I just had this realization that it wasn’t time for me and Erika to even be friends,” he said. “I chose not to spend any more time around her. Our relationship was totally innocent but it was getting stronger.” He added, “It would have been a scandal if we were not strong enough to move away from each other.”

by Namaste!reply 6010/01/2013

Two years. Three max.

by Namaste!reply 109/24/2013

I am shocked this hasn't come under the harsh scrutiny of DL sooner.

by Namaste!reply 209/25/2013

I can't believe they devoted TWO PAGES to this.

by Namaste!reply 309/25/2013

They need the page views, R3. A normal wedding notice doesn't go viral.

by Namaste!reply 409/25/2013

Who the fuck are these people? Why is their marriage worth an article in the NYT? This seems like a parody post. Who the fuck cares if she never has bad hair days?

by Namaste!reply 509/25/2013

I truly don't understand how any couple can want to put their private relationship-dynamic shit out there for the world to read.

One of my deal-breakers in dating was, if it involves my love life, it will NOT be blogged about. (I'm married now - male/male)

by Namaste!reply 609/25/2013

And we needed to be notified of this, why?

by Namaste!reply 709/25/2013

Haven't read the article, but OP's quote is interesting:

[quote]“I just had this realization that it wasn’t time for me and Erika to even be friends,” he said. “I chose not to spend any more time around her..."

Yeah, sounds like a real match made in heaven there!

by Namaste!reply 809/25/2013

How on earth could anyone think that including that poor child's death (accident or not) was in any way appropriate? Oh, but it's just the circle of life and it's all okay because I'm so very white and exhuberant.

by Namaste!reply 909/25/2013

[quote]Their daughter, Neelu, was born at home on June 15, 2011, shortly after Ms. Halweil drank a concoction of castor oil, pineapple juice, vodka and baking soda prescribed by her midwife to speed contractions.

Holy fuck! That shit can't be healthy, omfg!

by Namaste!reply 1009/25/2013

Chaing, chang, chong.

by Namaste!reply 1109/25/2013

Agreed, R9.

"Yeah, I killed a little girl, but I'm doing really good now."

Well, that doesn't fucking help the little dead girl, now, does it?!?

by Namaste!reply 1209/25/2013

I think it is a fake. Where do yoga instructors, one an admitted child killer, can you imagine that lawsuit, get the money for a wedding announcement in the NYT's, let alone an endless one?

They are so nauseating I kind of want to meet them.

by Namaste!reply 1309/25/2013

"It was a grueling winter for both of them. He broke up with his girlfriend. Ms. Halweil and her husband agreed to divorce and she moved into a tiny cottage in Sag Harbor."

Wow, that sounds almost as "grueling" as doing, like, slave labor in a concentration camp or something!

by Namaste!reply 1409/25/2013

OMG, I remember reading about that accident when it happened.

[quote] Who the fuck are these people?

Her brother is the editor of Edible East End. Food is all the rage nowadays, especially raw food, vegan food, etc. If her brother doesn't know someone at the NY Times, did you get a load of that house in Montauk? That's a beeeeeg house worth lots and lots of money. The owners are art dealers in NY and London. I'm sure they know people at the NY Times, if the brother doesn't.

"Darling, I'm hosting a party next month! My adorable yoga teacher is getting married! It would make a wonderful feature article and of course you could spend at least a week out here fleshing out the article. Montauk, Sag Harbor -- her brother knows the best restaurants and can easily get you in -- why don't you say yes, mmm?"

by Namaste!reply 1509/25/2013

R15, thanks for the info.

by Namaste!reply 1609/25/2013

How about this, R9 and R12:

"Today, she says the accident taught her about fate, her own and the girl’s, but at the time she was devastated."

Oh, good, well as long as it taught you about fate it was all worth it.

Asses.

by Namaste!reply 1709/25/2013

The NYT seems to be publishing more and more of this useless crap. I wonder why. Their 'meh list' comes to mind. Who cares?

by Namaste!reply 1809/25/2013

My god what a pair of self absorbed, overly serious assholes. And I can't believe they mentioned that nameless little girl's death as though it was was only a stumbling block for this woman's happiness. Disgusting!

by Namaste!reply 1909/25/2013

Eric and Morne need to get to Sag Harbor.

by Namaste!reply 2009/25/2013

Why couldn't it have been Neelu in that red wagon?!

by Namaste!reply 2109/25/2013

"When she recounts the accident (the child died and Ms. Halweil was not charged) you can really see her calm, philosophical and open demeanor."

I meditated over the above sentence a few times just to take in all its implications, be they about writer or subject. By the 5th time or so my serene mind started developing the clear image of Parker Posey and Catherine O'Hara sharing a frame under the radiant eye-camera-mind of Christopher Guest.

by Namaste!reply 2209/25/2013

This really does read like an Onion parody.

by Namaste!reply 2309/25/2013

Here's an account of the accident. I remember being horrified at the time. It's your worst nightmare. The newspaper caught a lot of flack for the photo of the accident scene. There is a blanket in the roadway and I think people thought it was blood or something worse.

by Namaste!reply 2409/25/2013

BTW, there aren't a lot of houses in that area, especially on the side of the road that the house was on. There's lots of wild undergrowth rather than landscaping in that area. The last thing you would expect when driving on that road is a kid playing in a wagon. She came shooting onto the roadway from behind the brush. Really horrible.

by Namaste!reply 2509/25/2013

I thought it was sort of standard to print accident photos in newspapers. When I was in high school, a senior girl died in a car crash. And on the front page of the newspaper was a clear photo of her on a stretcher, face covered, but legs and school uniform unmistakeable.

by Namaste!reply 2609/25/2013

I think everyone was all bent out of shape because of the pink blanket in the road. I think they thought it was some kind of "remains." And then they were all boo hoo about the little red wagon and all. They were all, " I hope the parents didn't see this" because it was on the front page of the East Hampton Star.

The newspaper even wrote an editorial about all the comments they got saying "Shame on you."

by Namaste!reply 2709/25/2013

Is Neelu related to xenu?

by Namaste!reply 2809/25/2013

You know, I've been out here so long that this article didn't phase me at all. It's just so typical. It's full of white people who have the time and money to gaze at their navels. And they finally conclude, "Wow! My navel is so interesting! Come, look and listen to my navel!"

Sag Harbor is a hotbed of alternative medicine. Years ago, it had a very large lesbian community. Artists, social workers, college professors. It went though a down-at-the-heels phase when it was quite affordable and a little depressing-looking. Office space was more affordable than in Southampton or East Hampton, so all these herbalists, acupuncturists, foot massagers, biofeedback, crystal people opened offices. One of my neighbors recently married a "Gaia therapist" who has an office in Sag Harbor. He does therapy in a way that "is in harmony with Gaia, the earth mother."

Yeah

So this whole yoga, see my navel, come-to-my-$20m-home-on-the-ocean-for-your wedding-under-a-giant-yellow-teddy-bear thing is no biggie to me.

I remember when I first came out here the girl at the barber shop was telling me that she was excited because she was getting a car. She'd only recently got her driver's license. She was getting a Mercedes sports convertible. One of her customers was selling it to her for $1,000 because he was getting divorced and didn't want his wife to get the car. It's that kind of place here. You can get stiffed by a billionaire or you might get a spanking new car from some other billionaire. You never know. depends on their mood.

So I'm not surprised these yoga yahoos got married at a multimillion dollar Montauk mansion by the bride's brother -- who told them to check each other for ticks to prevent Lyme disease as wedding advice -- and had their story published in the Times. It's typical.

And I'm betting the yoga instructor was on her way to that Montauk mansion to give a private yoga lesson when she hit the little girl. There are probably some guilty feelings by the Dayan woman who owns the house.

by Namaste!reply 2909/25/2013

R29, thanks for the good post.

by Namaste!reply 3009/25/2013

Who the fuck would put this in their wedding announcement?

On Aug. 17, 2008, Ms. Halweil was driving on Montauk Highway when a 5-year-old girl rode a red toy wagon down a steep driveway and shot out onto the road in front of Ms. Halweil’s car. When she recounts the accident (the child died and Ms. Halweil was not charged)

by Namaste!reply 3109/25/2013

R31, thanks for pointing that out. We all missed that part.

by Namaste!reply 3209/26/2013

Yeah, R31. Good catch. You're the shit.

by Namaste!reply 3309/26/2013

The Times regularly features gag-worthy relationships/weddings, but this is a new low for them.

I propose that they start a divorce section, where all these people can let us know how it all didn't work out. Now that could be fun!

by Namaste!reply 3409/26/2013

Self-absorbed but think their deep and spiritual. Blech!

by Namaste!reply 3509/26/2013

Shame the Times doesn't allow comments for this.

by Namaste!reply 3609/26/2013

Did you read carefully boys and girls? Gawker has multiple choice quiz.

by Namaste!reply 3709/26/2013

Link

by Namaste!reply 3809/26/2013

[quote] And I'm betting the yoga instructor was on her way to that Montauk mansion to give a private yoga lesson when she hit the little girl. There are probably some guilty feelings by the Dayan woman who owns the house.

The reason why I said this is because if the geography of the area. Sag Harbor is about an hour away from Montauk. That's a two hour round trip. If you had the money, would you drive two hours to a yoga class or would you hire someone to come to your house and give you a private lesson? The accident took place in Amagansett just before the Napeague Stretch, which is the only route from Amagansett to Montauk. I'm guessing this is the reason for the strong bond between the yoga instructor and her multimillion dollar international art dealer student.

BTW, I've seen that show Royal Pains and it's nothing at all like what exists out here. They often showed stiff upper lip, WASPy, snobby people. That's not who is out here. It's mostly Jewish people from high finance, real estate, the entertainment industry and the art world. So nobody cares about who your parents were, or if you went to the right schools. It does matter, however, that your children should go to the right schools. You could have gone to the state university at New Paltz -- it doesnt matter, so long as you are very, very rich. But your kids better go to private schools.

And what really matters is food.

You must eat all natural, organic, expensive fresh food. You might be allowed to brag about having a "guilty pleasure," as long as it is an acceptable guilty pleasure. Twinkies are not an acceptable guilty pleasure, but a Nathan's or a Papaya King hot dog is allowed. A little Debbie's snack cake is not an acceptable guilty pleasure, but a double creme Oreo is. Mayonnaise of any kind is outright reviled. If you don't know the rules of food, you are out,

Gwyneth Paltrow is pretty much the standard for wealthy people out here. She thinks she is completely normal because she is immersed in a culture of people just like her. I wonder how she keeps her hair blonde? She'd need an awful lot of lemon juice in order to do it in an all-natural way. I'm betting she puts harmful chemicals on it to maintain it just as often as she uses a grapefruit scrub to keep her lasered skin astringently clear.

My doctor is thinking of opening a side practice doing cosmetic stuff in Sag Harbor, but she has been advised that it must be "all natural" -- when possible. So the only injectable filler that is acceptable is Sephyl, aka The Vampire Facelift, which uses injections of your own blood into your face. It's horribly expensive, which is an added bonus for doctors.

by Namaste!reply 3909/26/2013

[quote]I can't believe they mentioned that nameless little girl's death as though it was was only a stumbling block for this woman's happiness.

Worse yet, they make it sound like it was not so much a stumbling block as the beginning of the spiritual journey that would lead Douchetta the bride into yogic and wedded bliss. The implication that the accident is really nothing to feel bad about because what the hell, it was the kid's FATE to die in the road like a dog at age 5 is a charming touch, too.

by Namaste!reply 4009/26/2013

I got 100 on the Gawker quiz. I probably would have got 100 even if I hadn't read the article .

by Namaste!reply 4109/26/2013

Can you imagine the girl's parents reading this wedding announcement? It was a horrible tragedy, an accident that could happen to anyone in the blink of an eye, but to include in your wedding announcement... I agree with R40 about its implications. What on earth were the writer and editor thinking to include this in the story?

R29/39 - Thank you for your posts. Very informative and insightful. You have a book idea on your hands there. I can see a "Tales of Montauk/Sag Harbor."

by Namaste!reply 4209/26/2013

"The bride described the color of her dress as pigeon-blood red." Ummm.

by Namaste!reply 4309/26/2013

The artist Robert Dash recently died. True, he did not ever immortalize killing a kid on canvas or anything like that, but I find people like him as insufferable as these yoga-ites. You can get away with any type of behavior out here so long as you style yourself an artist.

"Known to be a difficult dinner companion, Mr. Dash was prone to disagreement at the drop of a hat, Mr. Saralegui said. He often used 400-year-old vocabulary in day-to-day conversation, or, if he couldn’t think of the correct word, he just made one up."

In other words, he was a contrarian who liked to be the center of attention, making up language when he couldn't adequately express being a know-it-all.

And there is food.

In his garden conservancy, luncheon was served to the likes of Martha Stewart. "The menu was inspired by fruits and vegetables grown at Madoo such as the Elderflower Sour cocktails, caramelized shallot & thyme tartlets, and Halibut on crushed russets and swiss chard with Romesco sauce."

Cocktails out here need to be infused with organically grown fruits. And don't you forget it.

The real life Hamptons would be a great setting for a new series of "Colombo."

by Namaste!reply 4409/26/2013

At least she only killed one kid. She's no Aunt Diane, I can tell you that.

by Namaste!reply 4509/26/2013

R8, that's because the man was at the time married to someone else.

That is why he did not want to be around his future wife nor be friends at the time.

Are you mentally retarded?

by Namaste!reply 4609/26/2013

[quote]“I got out of the car and this really beautiful little girl with pale skin and blue eyes was laying in the road. Her eyes were glazed over.”

The dead kid's parents will appreciate the visuals.

by Namaste!reply 4709/26/2013

That is the most heinous thing I have ever read in the Times. Ever. All the things everyone here is saying are so observant and true. Why the hell would the editors ever LET that go to press? The description of the dead girl? OMG! Any MENTION of that accident! How is that appropriate or RELEVANT to a wedding announcement? That is not an announcement, it is the story of two total douchebags, so out of touch that they need a near death experience, themselves. DISGUSTING beyond words.

by Namaste!reply 4809/26/2013

bump

by Namaste!reply 4909/29/2013

Vile. Disgusting. I felt sick to my stomach at the description of the child's death. I'm not blaming the bride, but the way that she just thinks of it as a footnote in the "wonderful, exuberant unfolding of my destiny" type of new age stinkin' thinkin'" really makes me sick.

by Namaste!reply 5009/29/2013

I think Vince Gilligan should make this into a tv show.

by Namaste!reply 5109/30/2013

There's something about Montauk.

In around 2009, NYT did a story about this Buddhist priest and his .... friend. A 50-something man and a 30-something woman, they lived in a yurt in the AZ desert and pledged never to be 15 feet away from each other. They read the same book, waiting for the other to finish before turning the page.. If she had to shit on an airplane, he waited outside the bathroom door.

But Buddhist priests as supposed to be celibate. He said they were. The Dalai Lama was not happy.

Three years later, a dead man and a woman near-death are found in the AZ desert. Turns out it's the woman from the earlier Times story and another man -- her husband. And, it turns out she had recently attacked him with a knife. The woman and her husband were expelled from a Buddhist community in the desert, which was headed up by the 50-something year old Buddhist priest who had been her constant companion in 2009. AND it turned out that she and the priest had been secretly married, but they were also secretly divorced.

Before the divorce was final, however, she married another man -- he was also a Buddhist -- on the oceanfront in Montauk.

You can't make this shit up.

I wonder if it was the same woman who hosted the Buddhist wedding in Montauk?

by Namaste!reply 5209/30/2013

google their names and you get a website they put up for their wedding - on the "Registry" page there are bitchy funny comments that sound a little DL-ish.

by Namaste!reply 5309/30/2013

I lost interest after the birth of their daughter. What I did get was a sickening feeling remembering what homes like theirs smell like. One of the Indian herbs is so sweet and odorous. Is it Frankincense? Maybe the smell of curry mixed about? Sometimes people light the incense sticks and an oily residue permeates the air. What incense am I thinking about?

by Namaste!reply 5409/30/2013

Is it the sickly-sweet scent of bullshit, R54?

by Namaste!reply 5509/30/2013

If that nose of his is any indication about his cock size that poor woman must have a cunt like a wizard's sleeve now.

by Namaste!reply 5609/30/2013

[quote]Mayonnaise of any kind is outright reviled.

I don't understand. Even the most organic, homemade mayo?

by Namaste!reply 5709/30/2013

R52, that's a very interesting update on that whacked out couple. I remember reading that article and thinking how creepy the guy was and that the woman sounded like a mental case.

by Namaste!reply 5810/01/2013

There is something really negative about these yoga-Buddhist types. There is the fanatic cult-like behavior, the hatred of those not in the cult or following similar behavior, the narcissism, and just a general creepy vibe.

by Namaste!reply 5910/01/2013

I hope this horrible, disgusting article does not start of trend of fellating these airheads with free press for getting married, having a baby, or anything else that is done by millions of people. Why is being a yoga instructor looked at as being an elite career? In the 80s we called them aerobic instructors and most were high school graduates at best.

by Namaste!reply 6010/01/2013
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