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I want to date Andy Cohen.

I find him extremely attractive, but the problem is that I have very little to bring to a relationship with him. I have average looks, have no money, and the closest thing to a celebrity I know is my mother's first cousin Eugene, a librarian who occasionally performs in some of the plays in his town's little playhouse. I am Jewish and live in New York City (well, sort Queens), if that helps. What can I do to enhance my appeal?

by Anonymousreply 2412/02/2013

He would never date a normal guy, op. He would be really high maintenance and annoying anyway, if it is any consolation.

by Anonymousreply 109/24/2013

I wouldn't wish dating Andy Cohen on my worst friend.

by Anonymousreply 209/24/2013

[quote]What can I do to enhance my appeal?

Have you considered learning to speak fluent French? It drives the boys wild.

by Anonymousreply 309/24/2013

[quote]What can I do to enhance my appeal?

Be someone entirely different.

by Anonymousreply 409/24/2013

Andy just gave the public what they wanted. No one put a gun to their heads and told them to watch. If they didn't find the trash TV they wanted on Bravo, they would've turned elsewhere. Can't blame the guy for wanting to make some buck over our gutter culture. He is much better than those famewhores he employs. You can see during the reunion shows that he sees them as little more than circus performers and views them with disdain. I've heard only nice things about him when he's off-set. He really is my dream bf in every way possible.

by Anonymousreply 509/24/2013

You should have seen him on the teaser to his Wendy Williams interview today. Bent over, with his ass stuck out as he spanked himself.And that ridiculous grimace.

by Anonymousreply 609/24/2013

[quote]He really is my dream bf in every way possible.

You dream of twitchy self-obsessed famewhores?

Bonne chance. The world is your oyster.

by Anonymousreply 709/24/2013

[quote]You can see during the reunion shows that he sees them as little more than circus performers and views them with disdain.

The only show I watch is the Beverly Hills one and I don't think he views all of them with disdain.

Look at this pic...hardly the look of disdain.

by Anonymousreply 809/24/2013

He's crosseyed. Maybe he won't notice what you look like.

by Anonymousreply 909/24/2013

Didn't I hear he as engagd to certan famous ex-NHL'er?

by Anonymousreply 1009/24/2013

He once described his dream BF as "Jew F.K., Jr."

Good luck with that, OP.

by Anonymousreply 1109/24/2013

Gurl, you need to fix that body! Go to the gym and get a rockin' body if nothing else.

by Anonymousreply 1209/24/2013

[all posts by tedious troll removed.]

by Anonymousreply 1309/24/2013

I think he might find you appealing if you could turn yourself into a fairly hot, well-built straight guy.

And it would be a bonus if you had no interest in him whatsoever. He lives for that.

by Anonymousreply 1409/24/2013

He's not that picky. On the Bravo website he once enthused about the sexiness of John Katehis, one of the so-called Craigslist Killers.

And I'm not referring to Philip Markoff, the cute blond med student. I mean this:

by Anonymousreply 1509/24/2013

[quote]"Jew F.K., Jr."

Kinda describes me. 25 years ago.

But I'm looking for a WASP Seth Meyers.

by Anonymousreply 1609/24/2013

"He is much better than those famewhores he employs."

No, he's every single bit as famewhorish as the people he employs. He only likes to pretend he is.

And if everyone jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge, would he do it too? Not everyone caters to shit culture.

by Anonymousreply 1709/24/2013

OP, you could do so much better.

by Anonymousreply 1809/24/2013

Lemme tell ya, Jewish boys can be difficult....

by Anonymousreply 1909/24/2013

As if.

by Anonymousreply 2009/24/2013

OP probably jacks off to the "infant porn" scene in A Serbian Film and the shit-eating wedding banquet from Salò.

by Anonymousreply 2109/24/2013

I can see where your coming from. Have you seen him out in NYC? Is it possible to meet him or contact him?

by Anonymousreply 2212/02/2013

Maybe he has a really revolting fetish? That might lower his dating standards, so there's always a glimmer of hope OP.

Also, drug addiction could destroy his life and you may someday recognize that bum who pees on your dumpster is Andy Cohen! Then you could save him.

So pray for tragedy, OP.

by Anonymousreply 2312/02/2013
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