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Can someone translate from Business?

I've been out of the corporate world so long that I can't figure out what this means. It is about Red Cross disaster response. I have highlighted what I think is the central message. Did I miss something?

From the Process Governance Team:

We’d like to update you on the forward movement we’re making in Disaster Cycle Services. We are now in the implementation phase of the reengineering effort. Central to this phase is our Process Governance Team (PGT), which will facilitate the process creation that will drive how our services are delivered throughout the disaster cycle.

The PGT includes 11 members who created the following vision for the team. This is the state we intend to achieve in the next two years: “An environment and culture where innovative workers have all they require to help those in need.”

Additionally, each process owner has built a team to validate the top-level or macro process laid out by the reengineering team.

The macro process teams include expert volunteers, employees and partner members from all over the country at the region, division and national levels.

These teams have met multiple times to validate, edit and debate each of the macro processes. You can expect the validated macro level processes for each of the 8 processes to be published on The Exchange by October 11 and subsequently communicated.

How will this activity affect you and your day-to-day work? With the macro processes validated, we will soon enter the next level of process mapping. This next level will help us to determine what has to happen to achieve our end-state.

The macro process teams will quickly grow as subprocesses are outlined. You may be asked to join or lead one or more of these teams. You will become a part of building the processes that will direct our services across the disaster cycle.

As our work is created, validated and published, we will all be shifting our work priorities to reflect the process model. In time, everything we do in our daily work will be part of a process and in alignment with our Disaster Cycle Services principles.

[bold]In the meantime, nothing about our service delivery to clients has changed. [/bold]Rest assured that when it does change, that will be communicated clearly.

We are creating a system where good ideas and smart iterations can be explored and adopted in a systematic way, no matter where they originate.

by Anonymousreply 1409/21/2013

Frustrating obfuscation

by Anonymousreply 109/20/2013

Someone from an academic literary theory department might understand it (or at least claim to).

by Anonymousreply 209/20/2013

Unfortunately, I deal with crap like this day after day. Here's my translation.

Here's the update on implementing how we continue to serve our purpose during a disaster.

The team in charge (and who are taking credit for this) consists of 11 people. Our goal in the event of a disaster is to continue helping people in need.

Each of those in charge of a process has a team to agree to the big plan laid out by the team of 11. These teams include representatives of different types and across geographies we cover and have met to debate (i.e., agree to) the big processes of the plan. These processes will be sent out on October 11.

How will this affect you? Although the big processes have been agreed, we haven't yet figured out the little processes, so now we're going to do more stuff before we figure that out. Yet more people will be assigned to figure out the little processes. How this will affect you is that you may be asked to join or (gasp!) lead one or more (gasp!) of these teams. You should feel good about this because it will help us help others (i.e., our goal).

As we go through this, what you do will change to fit what is decided (even though you are purportedly among the deciders). In time, everything you do in our daily work will conform to what we decide.

In the meantime, nothing about how we help people (aka our goal) will change (i.e., the end result is the same even though we've changed how we do things). When things change, we will let you know (even though you were supposedly a part of the process to make this change).

We are creating a system where these changes will be implemented in a way that creates the least friction no matter who decided them (i.e., don't blame us no matter how crap the results are and how badly they affect you even though we take credit for the plan [see paragraph 2]).

by Anonymousreply 309/20/2013


by Anonymousreply 409/20/2013

Well, I thought it would be helpful to translate OP's post from English to Japanese and back to English but surprisingly it's not that different.

"Process and governance team: from

I think we want to update the forward motion is made in the disaster cycle service. We are now during the implementation phase of reengineering ring work. During this phase of the disaster cycle makes it easier to create drive across our service delivery methods to process our process and governance team (PGT), it is.

The PGT 11 to created the vision of the following team members included. This is the State aims for 2 years now: "the revolutionary worker's environment and culture to help underprivileged people all required".

Further, is the owner of each process designed by the team at the top level can be verified or reengineering team, has build a macro process.

In macro processing team included partner members from around the country at the level of expert volunteers, employees, regional, sector and national.

Meet several times to discuss each macro processes of validation and editing of these teams. At 10/11, you can expect the process issued in Exchange for 8 process each validated macro level after transmission

Your daily work what impact this activity is? Validation macro process, we immediately goes to the next level of process mapping. This next level is useful for judging out there for us to achieve our end state.

Subprocess: macro processing team grew quickly. Need to participate and lead teams of one or more of these. You throughout the disaster cycle our services to direct part of the build process.

Our work is created, to reflect the process model validation, publishing all of us will shift the priority of our work. At the time, we everything we do in our daily work disaster cycle service principles part of the deployment process.

On the other hand, nothing unusual about the quality of service to clients. When the apparent change will be propagated to be assured.

Has created a system that can be employed in a systematic way, regardless where they are, and explore the place good ideas and smart iteration."

by Anonymousreply 509/20/2013


by Anonymousreply 609/20/2013

"This next level will help us to determine what has to happen to achieve our end-state."

Check to make sure Nicolas Cage isn't under your desk, sweating profusely and clutching a bomb to his chest, OP.

by Anonymousreply 709/20/2013

Lol at r5. That's funny.

by Anonymousreply 809/20/2013

My favorite part of the Japanese-and-back translation:

[quote]“An environment and culture where innovative workers have all they require to help those in need.”


[quote]"the revolutionary worker's environment and culture to help underprivileged people all required".

by Anonymousreply 909/21/2013

[all posts by tedious, racist idiot removed.]

by Anonymousreply 1009/21/2013

I do too. But if not for all those millions of drones up in all the towers doing this nonsense day after day, we'd have no economy.

by Anonymousreply 1109/21/2013

I smell consultants.

by Anonymousreply 1209/21/2013

The problem here is NOT that it requires translation from some byzantine business lingo.

The problem is that the person who wrote it doesn't know how to write or communicate effectively. Somewhere along the way, the author has erroneously been taught that this is good prose.

It's like watching a bad sitcom where lower class people are pretending to be high society. They do all the things that rich people in their imagination do without any real understanding.

by Anonymousreply 1309/21/2013

Hey you peeps lower down the ladder, we have no fucking idea what we need to do to achieve the goal of the delivery of services during a disaster. But, because it takes us away from the dead-end job tasks we do daily and allows us to network up the ladder and across divisions, we are going to milk this fucker till we all promote outta here. But, because we have to deliver the 'deliverables' we are going to annoy the shit out of you to actually produce something that looks like an achievable goal. Rest assured, if we do not promote out of here, YOU WILL BE BLAMED for the 'systemic failure' of the project due to the 'disengagement of the subordinate staff'. We will then, as we are out the door, propose that an in-house committee be staffed to analyze the 'dysfunctional corporate culture' here. you see, you are both the problem AND the solution. May God have mercy on your raise-free lives.

The Disaster Cycle Services Team, boo-yaaa!

by Anonymousreply 1409/21/2013
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