Serving up this steaming pile of
Celebrity Gossip
Gay Politics
Gay News
and Pointless Bitchery
Since 1995

Frau in my office is making a friend's child's death all about her.

Her friend's child died on SIDS in late August. Terrible tragedy, obviously. However, she seems to have made this entire tragedy all about her.

She set up a facebook page accepting donations for some SIDS organization. The profile photo on this page is her holding the baby, and to be honest, it looks photoshoppped. She has this same photo as her computer wallpaper, and the photoshopping is more apparent when blown up. She has placed SIDS literature in our kitchen with a note to see her to learn more about this syndrome, as if she is some expert. We work in the Newport area of Jersey City, and she sent a company-wide email yesterday announcing that she is organizing a charity cruise around the Hudson, with proceeds to go to this SIDS organization. When she talks about all of this, it's always from her POV, how it's affected her, how she is constantly there for the grieving parents 24/7 as a shoulder to cry on, how it was her idea to include the baby's mobile in the casket, how she has taken it upon her to educate herself and others about the syndrome, how she is coordinating all this charity stuff, etc. All of it relates back to her. Yes, it's a terrible tragedy, and I guess what she's doing is ultimately a good thing, but it just reeks of narcissism and grief porn. She's she star of this awful tragedy. Do you know any people like this?

by Anonymousreply 3109/22/2013

Are you sure the deceased child actually existed?

by Anonymousreply 109/20/2013

Grief porn is SO frau.

by Anonymousreply 209/20/2013

Unfortunately yes, I've known people like this. I used to work with a woman who made 9-11 all about her, despite the fact that she lives in the Midwest, has no relatives in the East or who were affected personally by the tragedy, nor had she ever even visited NYC. Every year thereafter it was endless stories about how that day affected HER! It was total narcissism.

by Anonymousreply 309/20/2013

Isn't SIDS like fibromyalgia for babies?

by Anonymousreply 409/20/2013

Women are the WORST.

by Anonymousreply 509/20/2013

She sounds like a major sociopath.

by Anonymousreply 609/20/2013

She knows something. Guilty conscience?

by Anonymousreply 709/20/2013

Yes, I know of a few people like this. I back away from them pretty fast!

by Anonymousreply 809/20/2013

I got like this when my first friend announced he had AIDS back in the '80s. He didn't come to my birthday party that year, and it was all the rest of us talked about, why he hadn't shown up. For the rest of the year, I thought I could actually [italic]do something[/italic]. But other than to be there for comfort and support, there was nothing I could do. He died not long after my next birthday.

Maybe I'm nothing like this Frau person, but when I read shit like this, I think of him and me and then.

by Anonymousreply 909/20/2013

Drama queens bashing drama queens.

Atleast you're not making this all about you on a social website.

Now get back to work!

by Anonymousreply 1009/20/2013

R1 is onto something, especially if the photo was photoshopped. If someone photoshopped themselves holding my baby and posted it to Facebook, I would call them out on it.

by Anonymousreply 1109/20/2013

Can you out-drama her? Like start a Facebook page to support her that only features pictures of you (with her photoshopped in the background), put books about grief counseling next to her info about SIDS, interrupt her info speeches by humblebragging about how much you're supporting her, etc.

And give it all some shitty nickname like "Helping the helpers: because an angel's wings can get heavy sometimes."

by Anonymousreply 1209/20/2013

It's ghoulish and extremely manipulative to act this way. That Fakebook has normalized this weirdness is no excuse. Those poor parents. What she's doing isn't friendship, it's parasitism.

by Anonymousreply 1309/20/2013

The parents should tell her to knock it the fuck off. Unless they don't mind that level of fraux grief.

by Anonymousreply 1409/20/2013

I really don't see the point of posting stuff like this. Dengrating the odd behavior of other to what end? And usually "fraus". Just using that moniker is dehumanizing.

Life is hard OP and I wonder how you handle or will handle adversity in your life. I wonder is someone will post your misery on a web site and make fun of you some day.

by Anonymousreply 1509/20/2013

My sister is the same way about 9/11, r3.

Also, can we have the link to the Facebook page? I'd like to donate.

by Anonymousreply 1609/20/2013

But it shouldn't even be HER misery, R15! There's such a thing as an appropriate level of grief.

by Anonymousreply 1709/20/2013

What an Especially Sorry Tale, OP. I'm glad you don't have a child to known how a great their passing would be.

Oh, of course, she would make it all about her. IT HAPPENED TO HER.

by Anonymousreply 1809/20/2013

Some people love a crisis, especially when they are close enough to be involved but removed enough to be more of a spectator than a participant. My friend "Thelma" is like that. She had to take off three days from work to manage her grief when the daughter of a close friend lost her baby in the eighth month of pregnancy. The young woman who actually lost the baby humorously noted that Thelma seemed to be taking it harder than she was.

A few years ago, when the same friend's husband was dying of cancer, Thelma showed up at the hospital dressed head to toe in black. The dying man took one look at Thelma in her full mourning outfit and called her a vampire. Even the grieving widow-to-be got a kick out of that.

by Anonymousreply 1909/20/2013

R15 just stumbled upon DL.

by Anonymousreply 2009/20/2013

Fucking tragedy addicts.

It's like those people who appear on the news crying and devastated and terribly eager to be interviewed about something terrible that happened that they had no connection to AT ALL.

Yes that accident that killed that family was terrible and tragic but it had nothing whatsoever to do with you, bitch! You weren't there when it happened and you didn't even know them so why are you at their fucking candlelight vigil?

And yes, it's usually fraus.

by Anonymousreply 2109/20/2013

OP, why don't you constantly remind her how feline AIDS has affected you personally instead of the late Miss Sissy Boodles.

by Anonymousreply 2209/20/2013

You can already tell that OP is a drama queen projecting.

by Anonymousreply 2309/20/2013

OP, you have your own little Lea Michelle in your office.

by Anonymousreply 2409/20/2013

Like all those celebs who were "almost" going to Sharon Tate's house the night the Manson Family came a-callin'. Talked about it for years every chance they got.

by Anonymousreply 2509/20/2013

How much did she weigh?

by Anonymousreply 2609/20/2013

OP, I will add your coworker to my 'I Have Never Seen People Enjoying A Child’s Death So Much' file.

by Anonymousreply 2709/20/2013

I don't even believe in SIDS.

by Anonymousreply 2809/20/2013

SIDS, what is that? Isn't that what they would call in my grandmother's day...What's the word? Oh yeah murder.

by Anonymousreply 2909/22/2013

OP, is the frau a middle-aged woman who never married and needs a 'cause' to think she has a life?

by Anonymousreply 3009/22/2013

Quite honestly we faked our babys' death just to get the overbearing bitch out of our lives once and for all.

by Anonymousreply 3109/22/2013
Need more help? Click Here.

Follow theDL catch up on what you missed

recent threads by topic delivered to your email

follow popular threads on twitter

follow us on facebook

Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!