Frau in my office is making a friend's child's death all about her.
Her friend's child died on SIDS in late August. Terrible tragedy, obviously. However, she seems to have made this entire tragedy all about her.
She set up a facebook page accepting donations for some SIDS organization. The profile photo on this page is her holding the baby, and to be honest, it looks photoshoppped. She has this same photo as her computer wallpaper, and the photoshopping is more apparent when blown up. She has placed SIDS literature in our kitchen with a note to see her to learn more about this syndrome, as if she is some expert. We work in the Newport area of Jersey City, and she sent a company-wide email yesterday announcing that she is organizing a charity cruise around the Hudson, with proceeds to go to this SIDS organization. When she talks about all of this, it's always from her POV, how it's affected her, how she is constantly there for the grieving parents 24/7 as a shoulder to cry on, how it was her idea to include the baby's mobile in the casket, how she has taken it upon her to educate herself and others about the syndrome, how she is coordinating all this charity stuff, etc. All of it relates back to her. Yes, it's a terrible tragedy, and I guess what she's doing is ultimately a good thing, but it just reeks of narcissism and grief porn. She's she star of this awful tragedy. Do you know any people like this?
|by Anonymous||reply 31||09/22/2013|
Are you sure the deceased child actually existed?
|by Anonymous||reply 1||09/20/2013|
Unfortunately yes, I've known people like this. I used to work with a woman who made 9-11 all about her, despite the fact that she lives in the Midwest, has no relatives in the East or who were affected personally by the tragedy, nor had she ever even visited NYC. Every year thereafter it was endless stories about how that day affected HER! It was total narcissism.
|by Anonymous||reply 3||09/20/2013|
Isn't SIDS like fibromyalgia for babies?
|by Anonymous||reply 4||09/20/2013|
She sounds like a major sociopath.
|by Anonymous||reply 6||09/20/2013|
She knows something. Guilty conscience?
|by Anonymous||reply 7||09/20/2013|
Yes, I know of a few people like this. I back away from them pretty fast!
|by Anonymous||reply 8||09/20/2013|
I got like this when my first friend announced he had AIDS back in the '80s. He didn't come to my birthday party that year, and it was all the rest of us talked about, why he hadn't shown up. For the rest of the year, I thought I could actually [italic]do something[/italic]. But other than to be there for comfort and support, there was nothing I could do. He died not long after my next birthday.
Maybe I'm nothing like this Frau person, but when I read shit like this, I think of him and me and then.
|by Anonymous||reply 9||09/20/2013|
Drama queens bashing drama queens.
Atleast you're not making this all about you on a social website.
Now get back to work!
|by Anonymous||reply 10||09/20/2013|
R1 is onto something, especially if the photo was photoshopped. If someone photoshopped themselves holding my baby and posted it to Facebook, I would call them out on it.
|by Anonymous||reply 11||09/20/2013|
Can you out-drama her? Like start a Facebook page to support her that only features pictures of you (with her photoshopped in the background), put books about grief counseling next to her info about SIDS, interrupt her info speeches by humblebragging about how much you're supporting her, etc.
And give it all some shitty nickname like "Helping the helpers: because an angel's wings can get heavy sometimes."
|by Anonymous||reply 12||09/20/2013|
It's ghoulish and extremely manipulative to act this way. That Fakebook has normalized this weirdness is no excuse. Those poor parents. What she's doing isn't friendship, it's parasitism.
|by Anonymous||reply 13||09/20/2013|
The parents should tell her to knock it the fuck off. Unless they don't mind that level of fraux grief.
|by Anonymous||reply 14||09/20/2013|
I really don't see the point of posting stuff like this. Dengrating the odd behavior of other to what end? And usually "fraus". Just using that moniker is dehumanizing.
Life is hard OP and I wonder how you handle or will handle adversity in your life. I wonder is someone will post your misery on a web site and make fun of you some day.
|by Anonymous||reply 15||09/20/2013|
My sister is the same way about 9/11, r3.
Also, can we have the link to the Facebook page? I'd like to donate.
|by Anonymous||reply 16||09/20/2013|
But it shouldn't even be HER misery, R15! There's such a thing as an appropriate level of grief.
|by Anonymous||reply 17||09/20/2013|
What an Especially Sorry Tale, OP. I'm glad you don't have a child to known how a great their passing would be.
Oh, of course, she would make it all about her. IT HAPPENED TO HER.
|by Anonymous||reply 18||09/20/2013|
Some people love a crisis, especially when they are close enough to be involved but removed enough to be more of a spectator than a participant. My friend "Thelma" is like that. She had to take off three days from work to manage her grief when the daughter of a close friend lost her baby in the eighth month of pregnancy. The young woman who actually lost the baby humorously noted that Thelma seemed to be taking it harder than she was.
A few years ago, when the same friend's husband was dying of cancer, Thelma showed up at the hospital dressed head to toe in black. The dying man took one look at Thelma in her full mourning outfit and called her a vampire. Even the grieving widow-to-be got a kick out of that.
|by Anonymous||reply 19||09/20/2013|
R15 just stumbled upon DL.
|by Anonymous||reply 20||09/20/2013|
Fucking tragedy addicts.
It's like those people who appear on the news crying and devastated and terribly eager to be interviewed about something terrible that happened that they had no connection to AT ALL.
Yes that accident that killed that family was terrible and tragic but it had nothing whatsoever to do with you, bitch! You weren't there when it happened and you didn't even know them so why are you at their fucking candlelight vigil?
And yes, it's usually fraus.
|by Anonymous||reply 21||09/20/2013|
OP, why don't you constantly remind her how feline AIDS has affected you personally instead of the late Miss Sissy Boodles.
|by Anonymous||reply 22||09/20/2013|
You can already tell that OP is a drama queen projecting.
|by Anonymous||reply 23||09/20/2013|
OP, you have your own little Lea Michelle in your office.
|by Anonymous||reply 24||09/20/2013|
Like all those celebs who were "almost" going to Sharon Tate's house the night the Manson Family came a-callin'. Talked about it for years every chance they got.
|by Anonymous||reply 25||09/20/2013|
OP, I will add your coworker to my 'I Have Never Seen People Enjoying A Child’s Death So Much' file.
|by Anonymous||reply 27||09/20/2013|
I don't even believe in SIDS.
|by Anonymous||reply 28||09/20/2013|
SIDS, what is that? Isn't that what they would call in my grandmother's day...What's the word? Oh yeah murder.
|by Anonymous||reply 29||09/22/2013|
OP, is the frau a middle-aged woman who never married and needs a 'cause' to think she has a life?
|by Anonymous||reply 30||09/22/2013|
Quite honestly we faked our babys' death just to get the overbearing bitch out of our lives once and for all.
|by Anonymous||reply 31||09/22/2013|