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Damn. Amarillo Italian restaurant closes, leaves nasty note behind.

Rednecks! Incest!

An Italian restaurant that recently closed up shop in Amarillo, Texas, appears to have left behind a sign explaining in graphic detail exactly why it went out of business.

"You sorry assed, rednecked sacked of goat sperm had no idea what you had here!" reads the exclamation-point-heavy "Not Sorry We're Closed" sign. "Good luck with your pre-packaged frozen shit food in this town."

You better believe it goes on:

Maybe you'll remember us when you're boning your sister and think she smells like pasta. We are off to make money in a town whose average IQ is above room temperature! CIAO!!!

Shortly after the sign began spreading online this morning, Sava!'s owners took to their Facebook page to suggest they were not responsible for the strongly worded farewell.

"Don't believe all you hear and see folks!" said a status update published three hours ago.

But web sleuths soon noticed that the restaurant's denial flies in the face of several inarguable truths.

Such as the fact that the sign is posted behind the glass of a locked door.

And just prior to picking up and moving to nearby Lubbuck, Sava!'s executive chef Mark Coffman told the Amarillo Globe-News, "I think Lubbock will get what we do a little better. It’s a bigger wine town."

He also called Amarillo "a tough sell" and griped that customers "think they know what Italian food is and they still argue with me about it."

Another hint that suggests Sava! had more to do with the note than they are willing to concede is the owner's penchant for signing everything with the word "CIAO" in all caps, and this reply posted on Urban Spoon last month that uses suspiciously similar language.

by Anonymousreply 7909/08/2013

It's Amarillo. What the hell did they expect? Lubbock sucks too.

by Anonymousreply 109/06/2013

Spent the night in Amarillo on a road trip once. The Denny's was open and the best option for a late dinner. My god, the horror. The horror. They're already living in the future world of Idiocracy but dirtier and meaner.

by Anonymousreply 209/06/2013

A testament to doing some serious research before you open up a restaurant.

If Lubbock really is a more sophisticated town, then Amarillo must be a trailer park hell.

by Anonymousreply 309/06/2013

Oh, the wait staff just got tired of watching all the men smack the women around at the tables while the women keep saying "She's my sister. She's my daughter. She's my sister. She's my daughter.."

And then not leaving a good tip!

by Anonymousreply 409/06/2013

Amarillo sounds like quite a place.

by Anonymousreply 509/06/2013

The only small towns I can see having a successful Italian place in TX are the ones in the Hill Country (Wimberley, Fredericksburg, etc.) within easy driving distance of Austin and San Antonio where lots of wealthy city people have weekend houses in these little towns. Dallas, Houston, S.A. and Austin are of course much larger and have a huge variety of restaurants. They'd do much better there.

by Anonymousreply 609/06/2013

Who doesn't like Italian food?

by Anonymousreply 709/06/2013

Rednecks R7. Not authentic Italian anyway. Their idea of Italian is lasagna, spaghetti and ravioli. Anything else causes great apprehension and suspicion.

by Anonymousreply 809/06/2013

One of the finest Italian (REAL Italian, not "pasta and sauce" Italian) restaurants I've ever been to in this country is in Austin, in Fact. Vespaio. I've had some of the most amazing meals of my life there.

I have no trouble believing the ignorant rubes of Amarillo have no taste though. Their idea of "Italian" is probably Bespeghetti-Os (bad spelling intentional).

by Anonymousreply 909/06/2013

The owner is very likely a sociopath, as sociopaths are unable to accept blame for their failures and lash out at others.

Additionally, the restaurant business attracts a high number of sociopaths.

by Anonymousreply 1009/06/2013

Except, R10, this is Amarillo we're talking about.

by Anonymousreply 1109/06/2013

Idiots! Did they do any market research at all before deciding on a location? You don't open a sophisticated italian restaurant in a hick town and then blame your customers for being too hickish to "get" your cuisine. They deserved to fail.

by Anonymousreply 1209/06/2013

Maybe they deserved to fail, but I still think they're allowed to blame their customers for being too closed-minded, too hickish, and for having such terrible taste.

by Anonymousreply 1309/06/2013

What is "suspicious" about the Urban Spoon post? It is clearly the owners posting as the owners.

by Anonymousreply 1409/06/2013

He'd still be in business if he had just dumped some cans of Chef Boy-Ar-Dee on a plate and served it.

by Anonymousreply 1509/06/2013

Anyone who opens a restaurant like that in Amarillo has no business calling anyone else stupid.

by Anonymousreply 1609/06/2013

Lubbock is a step above Amarillo?

Who was to know?

by Anonymousreply 1709/06/2013

The owner sounds like an asshole.

by Anonymousreply 1809/06/2013

Next stop-- ABILENE!

by Anonymousreply 1909/06/2013

[quote]"Don't believe all you hear and see folks!"

The only people who say this are idiots with something to hide that haven't thought up a good alibi yet.

by Anonymousreply 2009/06/2013

He's moving to Scottsdale start a new venture with the Amy's Baking Company couple.

by Anonymousreply 2109/06/2013

[quote]Lubbock is a step above Amarillo? Who was to know?

Lubbock is the site of a fairly large state university. College towns, even hick state colleges, are always populated with slightly better educated people with better taste.

Amarillo just has small satellite campuses and a community college.

by Anonymousreply 2209/06/2013

The only good thing about Amarillo is "The Bus From Amarillo" from the OBC album of "Best Little Whorehouse in Texas." The best song from the show, but left out of the film version.

by Anonymousreply 2309/06/2013

[quote] Their idea of Italian is lasagna, spaghetti and ravioli

This was not so 40 years ago. My mothers coworker said her daughter who was attending college in TX complained she couldn't make her favorite dishes because nobody sold ricotta, provelone or fresh parmesan cheese. It was even difficult to find lasagne pasta.

TX has come a long way.

by Anonymousreply 2409/06/2013

I looked at the Amarillo tourism board's page for "Amarillo Dining" to see if this place was there (it was) -- most of the rest was Chili's, Whataburger, etc.

by Anonymousreply 2509/06/2013

The final straw that led the owners to close the restaurant was when a customer asked why none of the pasta dishes featured chicken.

by Anonymousreply 2609/06/2013

When I was growing up in the 60s (in CT), my half-brother lived in Tucson. Every Christmas, my mother would send him a care package of different salamis, cheeses and canned stuff they couldn't get in AZ.

I live in Dallas now and I can get just about anything, except basket cheese. I use Mexican panela instead, which is pretty much the same thing.

by Anonymousreply 2709/06/2013

This is not true, some very sophisticated Amarillo residents love our authentic Italian food!

by Anonymousreply 2809/06/2013

I wouldn't advise these people to open another restaurant south of Toledo or west of Buffalo. Rednecks have short fuses and very long memories.

by Anonymousreply 2909/06/2013

If the owner had done some investigation, he would have discovered that we in Amarillo like our spaghetti with ketchup. He was unwilling to provide that, so the people stopped going.

by Anonymousreply 3009/06/2013

Buddy Holly was born & raised in Lubbock. Tomorrow's his birthday -- he'd be 77.

by Anonymousreply 3109/06/2013

Texas is more all about Mexican food anyway.

by Anonymousreply 3209/06/2013

Is that like Mama Junes "sketti" which consists of a tub of margarine and ketchup microwaved and poured over pasta R30?

by Anonymousreply 3309/06/2013

Keep in mind, Texas is the state where (and I heard this in person, so know it's true) they think "Turkey Bacon" is "vegetarian".

by Anonymousreply 3409/06/2013

Lubbock: the Paris of the oil fields.

by Anonymousreply 3509/06/2013

Thanks for suggesting I read this article, Gawker.

by Anonymousreply 3609/06/2013

[all posts by tedious troll removed.]

by Anonymousreply 3709/06/2013

[quote]I live in Dallas now and I can get just about anything, except basket cheese.

Sounds like a euphemism for smegma.

by Anonymousreply 3809/06/2013

Isn't Amarillo where that kid got off the hook years ago for running over another kid on purpose, killing him? He was the star of the football team, blah blah blah, son of one of the richest guys in town who owned lots of car dealerships, etc. etc. The run over kid was a goth or something and the jury said something like he felt threatened because of the kids looks / dress and was justified?

Town full of assholes. I wouldn't piss them off until I was safely out of town either.

by Anonymousreply 3909/06/2013

Prego bacon and provolone flavor sauce is on sale this week, $1 a jar.

by Anonymousreply 4009/06/2013

If it ain't Beefaroni, it ain't Italian.

by Anonymousreply 4109/06/2013

R27, is "basket cheese" ricotta?

by Anonymousreply 4209/06/2013

Get out of the state you're in!

by Anonymousreply 4309/06/2013

I use it at Easter to make pizza chiena.

by Anonymousreply 4409/06/2013

Lovely, R44. There are a few sites with instructions for making your own & it sounds pretty simple (except that they all call for rennet, which those of us who don't eat meat can't use). The cheese & the Italian Easter pie both sound delightful.

by Anonymousreply 4509/06/2013

Our family recipe is very different than the one I linked to. We use bread or pizza dough for the crust and no eggs, just ricotta, basket cheese and mozzarella cheese. There are many variations of this pie based on region and family tradition.

r45-You're worried about rennet when the recipe calls for pepperoni, prosciutto and boiled ham? LOL.

Anyway, don't want to derail the thread. Back to the [italic]cafones[/italic] in Amarillo.

by Anonymousreply 4609/06/2013

R35, Lubbock is the Paris of the COTTON fields.

Midland is the Paris of the oil fields.

by Anonymousreply 4709/06/2013

There are a lot of places in this country where Italian food is not understood.

One of my family members corrected a chef and told him al dente meant soft like pudding and this stuff he was serving was not I-taliain at all.

by Anonymousreply 4809/07/2013

Does everyone have to like Italian food? Talk about entitlement. "I'm Italian, ergo, I'm a great cook and my culture makes great food and there's something wrong with you if you don't like it.".

Gimme a fucking break.

by Anonymousreply 4909/07/2013

r42 Basket cheese, sometimes called pot cheese, IS similar to ricotta, but much firmer. They press the curds to remove much of the moisture, sometimes it is salted, then left to solidify in its "basket". Even in MY big Italian neighborhood it is difficult to find, usually only see it at big holidays, particularly Easter. r45 I see your point about the rennet. Calcium chloride is used when they make tofu, it clabbers the soy "milk." I wonder if that can be used with cow's milk?

by Anonymousreply 5009/07/2013

I've been to Lubbock, and if It is better, Amarillo must really be a pit.

by Anonymousreply 5109/07/2013

Avoid Texas. Ignore what you hear about Austin being ok. It's a trap.

by Anonymousreply 5209/07/2013

R3 said it first so he gets credit. Who opens a premium dining facility with researching what the people in that town are wiliing to spend money on? Pompous, presumptuous chefs who think their craft is so astounding that people will regardlessly flock to their tables, that's who.

by Anonymousreply 5309/07/2013

The best Italian food is so cheap and easy to make there is no sense in eating out. And the markup is ridiculous--pasta costs pennies but you will pay 15 bucks for a pasta dish with a little chicken breast thrown in.

The reason why you see so many Italian/pizza joints around is because the profit margin is so huge. It's also why so many non-Italians, like Koreans, Arabs, etc. open pizza joints.

Now, a good pizza joint is worthy of our devotion, but one can make equally good at home.

Learn to cook, fuckers!

by Anonymousreply 5409/07/2013

I already know how to cook, R54. Probably better than you. I simply don't want to. I have much better things to do with my time than plan menus, go grocery shopping, cook a meals and clean up. No thanks. I can well afford to over pay for good food. So, I do.

Same with house cleaning and garden work. Of course it's cheaper to do it yourself, but who the hell wants to that that can afford NOT to?

by Anonymousreply 5509/07/2013

Just maybe the food sucked

by Anonymousreply 5609/07/2013

Someone didn't do their market research. Who's stupid now?

by Anonymousreply 5709/07/2013

R54 one does not throw chicken into pasta if one is Italian. If that is the shit you eat at home....I would not want to eat at your home. Chicken does not belong on pasta or pizza.

by Anonymousreply 5809/07/2013

[quote]Chicken does not belong on pasta or pizza.

What about Chicken Spaghetti?

by Anonymousreply 5909/07/2013

Chicken spaghetti...gross just gross

by Anonymousreply 6009/08/2013

OMG, R30! Do you melt some Velveeta in it, too?

by Anonymousreply 6109/08/2013

r59 ....or Chicken Tetrazinni?

by Anonymousreply 6209/08/2013

r58, chicken cacciatore.

by Anonymousreply 6309/08/2013

When made correctly neither are past dishes. R62/63

by Anonymousreply 6409/08/2013

R62 btw....your precious dish comes from San Francisco and has fuck all to do with Italy.

by Anonymousreply 6509/08/2013

Pasta is for fat asses.

by Anonymousreply 6609/08/2013

Pasta is for hot Italians who are not fat.

by Anonymousreply 6709/08/2013

The reasoning behind why they must be behind the sign is stupid.

by Anonymousreply 6809/08/2013

Pasta is a side dish in Italy. Fish and vegetables figure very heavily in the Italian diet.

by Anonymousreply 6909/08/2013

I never heard of chicken spaghetti until I saw it on datalounge. I presume it is eaten by the people who use "drug" as the past tense for "drag."

by Anonymousreply 7009/08/2013


by Anonymousreply 7109/08/2013

My mother always made eye-tailan food because she said that's what the Romans fed Jesus... authentic eye-talian has chopped up hot dogs in it.

by Anonymousreply 7209/08/2013

I need to see the Chef. Is mister Boy-R-Dee available? This stuff ain't nothing like what I git from him in the can.

Heavens to Betsy, ma! This is more disappointing than that fancy Turkey Day you took us to, and they couldn't even serve the cranburry sauce right. They mushed it all up or sumthin, and it didn't look like the shape of the can no more at all!

by Anonymousreply 7309/08/2013

Just throw a jalapeno into the Sunday gravy.

by Anonymousreply 7409/08/2013

[quote]Pasta is a side dish in Italy. Fish and vegetables figure very heavily in the Italian diet.

technically it's a "primo" - the first plate. the second plate is more substantial and could be anything from roast beef to friend fish, to fave beans, completely dependent on the region and season.

by Anonymousreply 7509/08/2013

I went to Italy once. Some restaurant tried to serve me horse and donkey! I didn't know they was savages over there.

by Anonymousreply 7609/08/2013

[quote]friend fish

Charlie the Tuna was always quite friendly

[quote]to fave beans

I like cannellini

by Anonymousreply 7709/08/2013

Next time, the owner might try changing the name from Sava! to something that's actually Italian.

Oh, and for those wondering, there are definitely some "authentic" Italian chicken dishes: chicken saltimbocca, chicken scalloppine, etc.

Lastly, I LOVE the photo of Sava!'s owner/chef that some former diner recently posted on Urbanspoon. Hee!

by Anonymousreply 7809/08/2013

Texans should be served food as they deserve it, in a trough.

by Anonymousreply 7909/08/2013
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