Damn. Amarillo Italian restaurant closes, leaves nasty note behind.
An Italian restaurant that recently closed up shop in Amarillo, Texas, appears to have left behind a sign explaining in graphic detail exactly why it went out of business.
"You sorry assed, rednecked sacked of goat sperm had no idea what you had here!" reads the exclamation-point-heavy "Not Sorry We're Closed" sign. "Good luck with your pre-packaged frozen shit food in this town."
You better believe it goes on:
Maybe you'll remember us when you're boning your sister and think she smells like pasta. We are off to make money in a town whose average IQ is above room temperature! CIAO!!!
Shortly after the sign began spreading online this morning, Sava!'s owners took to their Facebook page to suggest they were not responsible for the strongly worded farewell.
"Don't believe all you hear and see folks!" said a status update published three hours ago.
But web sleuths soon noticed that the restaurant's denial flies in the face of several inarguable truths.
Such as the fact that the sign is posted behind the glass of a locked door.
And just prior to picking up and moving to nearby Lubbuck, Sava!'s executive chef Mark Coffman told the Amarillo Globe-News, "I think Lubbock will get what we do a little better. It’s a bigger wine town."
He also called Amarillo "a tough sell" and griped that customers "think they know what Italian food is and they still argue with me about it."
Another hint that suggests Sava! had more to do with the note than they are willing to concede is the owner's penchant for signing everything with the word "CIAO" in all caps, and this reply posted on Urban Spoon last month that uses suspiciously similar language.
|by Anonymous||reply 79||09/08/2013|
It's Amarillo. What the hell did they expect? Lubbock sucks too.
|by Anonymous||reply 1||09/06/2013|
Spent the night in Amarillo on a road trip once. The Denny's was open and the best option for a late dinner. My god, the horror. The horror. They're already living in the future world of Idiocracy but dirtier and meaner.
|by Anonymous||reply 2||09/06/2013|
A testament to doing some serious research before you open up a restaurant.
If Lubbock really is a more sophisticated town, then Amarillo must be a trailer park hell.
|by Anonymous||reply 3||09/06/2013|
Oh, the wait staff just got tired of watching all the men smack the women around at the tables while the women keep saying "She's my sister. She's my daughter. She's my sister. She's my daughter.."
And then not leaving a good tip!
|by Anonymous||reply 4||09/06/2013|
Amarillo sounds like quite a place.
|by Anonymous||reply 5||09/06/2013|
The only small towns I can see having a successful Italian place in TX are the ones in the Hill Country (Wimberley, Fredericksburg, etc.) within easy driving distance of Austin and San Antonio where lots of wealthy city people have weekend houses in these little towns. Dallas, Houston, S.A. and Austin are of course much larger and have a huge variety of restaurants. They'd do much better there.
|by Anonymous||reply 6||09/06/2013|
Who doesn't like Italian food?
|by Anonymous||reply 7||09/06/2013|
Rednecks R7. Not authentic Italian anyway. Their idea of Italian is lasagna, spaghetti and ravioli. Anything else causes great apprehension and suspicion.
|by Anonymous||reply 8||09/06/2013|
One of the finest Italian (REAL Italian, not "pasta and sauce" Italian) restaurants I've ever been to in this country is in Austin, in Fact. Vespaio. I've had some of the most amazing meals of my life there.
I have no trouble believing the ignorant rubes of Amarillo have no taste though. Their idea of "Italian" is probably Bespeghetti-Os (bad spelling intentional).
|by Anonymous||reply 9||09/06/2013|
The owner is very likely a sociopath, as sociopaths are unable to accept blame for their failures and lash out at others.
Additionally, the restaurant business attracts a high number of sociopaths.
|by Anonymous||reply 10||09/06/2013|
Except, R10, this is Amarillo we're talking about.
|by Anonymous||reply 11||09/06/2013|
Idiots! Did they do any market research at all before deciding on a location? You don't open a sophisticated italian restaurant in a hick town and then blame your customers for being too hickish to "get" your cuisine. They deserved to fail.
|by Anonymous||reply 12||09/06/2013|
Maybe they deserved to fail, but I still think they're allowed to blame their customers for being too closed-minded, too hickish, and for having such terrible taste.
|by Anonymous||reply 13||09/06/2013|
What is "suspicious" about the Urban Spoon post? It is clearly the owners posting as the owners.
|by Anonymous||reply 14||09/06/2013|
He'd still be in business if he had just dumped some cans of Chef Boy-Ar-Dee on a plate and served it.
|by Anonymous||reply 15||09/06/2013|
Anyone who opens a restaurant like that in Amarillo has no business calling anyone else stupid.
|by Anonymous||reply 16||09/06/2013|
Lubbock is a step above Amarillo?
Who was to know?
|by Anonymous||reply 17||09/06/2013|
The owner sounds like an asshole.
|by Anonymous||reply 18||09/06/2013|
[quote]"Don't believe all you hear and see folks!"
The only people who say this are idiots with something to hide that haven't thought up a good alibi yet.
|by Anonymous||reply 20||09/06/2013|
He's moving to Scottsdale start a new venture with the Amy's Baking Company couple.
|by Anonymous||reply 21||09/06/2013|
[quote]Lubbock is a step above Amarillo? Who was to know?
Lubbock is the site of a fairly large state university. College towns, even hick state colleges, are always populated with slightly better educated people with better taste.
Amarillo just has small satellite campuses and a community college.
|by Anonymous||reply 22||09/06/2013|
The only good thing about Amarillo is "The Bus From Amarillo" from the OBC album of "Best Little Whorehouse in Texas." The best song from the show, but left out of the film version.
|by Anonymous||reply 23||09/06/2013|
[quote] Their idea of Italian is lasagna, spaghetti and ravioli
This was not so 40 years ago. My mothers coworker said her daughter who was attending college in TX complained she couldn't make her favorite dishes because nobody sold ricotta, provelone or fresh parmesan cheese. It was even difficult to find lasagne pasta.
TX has come a long way.
|by Anonymous||reply 24||09/06/2013|
I looked at the Amarillo tourism board's page for "Amarillo Dining" to see if this place was there (it was) -- most of the rest was Chili's, Whataburger, etc.
|by Anonymous||reply 25||09/06/2013|
The final straw that led the owners to close the restaurant was when a customer asked why none of the pasta dishes featured chicken.
|by Anonymous||reply 26||09/06/2013|
When I was growing up in the 60s (in CT), my half-brother lived in Tucson. Every Christmas, my mother would send him a care package of different salamis, cheeses and canned stuff they couldn't get in AZ.
I live in Dallas now and I can get just about anything, except basket cheese. I use Mexican panela instead, which is pretty much the same thing.
|by Anonymous||reply 27||09/06/2013|
This is not true, some very sophisticated Amarillo residents love our authentic Italian food!
|by Anonymous||reply 28||09/06/2013|
I wouldn't advise these people to open another restaurant south of Toledo or west of Buffalo. Rednecks have short fuses and very long memories.
|by Anonymous||reply 29||09/06/2013|
If the owner had done some investigation, he would have discovered that we in Amarillo like our spaghetti with ketchup. He was unwilling to provide that, so the people stopped going.
|by Anonymous||reply 30||09/06/2013|
Buddy Holly was born & raised in Lubbock. Tomorrow's his birthday -- he'd be 77.
|by Anonymous||reply 31||09/06/2013|
Texas is more all about Mexican food anyway.
|by Anonymous||reply 32||09/06/2013|
Is that like Mama Junes "sketti" which consists of a tub of margarine and ketchup microwaved and poured over pasta R30?
|by Anonymous||reply 33||09/06/2013|
Keep in mind, Texas is the state where (and I heard this in person, so know it's true) they think "Turkey Bacon" is "vegetarian".
|by Anonymous||reply 34||09/06/2013|
Lubbock: the Paris of the oil fields.
|by Anonymous||reply 35||09/06/2013|
Thanks for suggesting I read this article, Gawker.
|by Anonymous||reply 36||09/06/2013|
[all posts by tedious troll removed.]
|by Anonymous||reply 37||09/06/2013|
[quote]I live in Dallas now and I can get just about anything, except basket cheese.
Sounds like a euphemism for smegma.
|by Anonymous||reply 38||09/06/2013|
Isn't Amarillo where that kid got off the hook years ago for running over another kid on purpose, killing him? He was the star of the football team, blah blah blah, son of one of the richest guys in town who owned lots of car dealerships, etc. etc. The run over kid was a goth or something and the jury said something like he felt threatened because of the kids looks / dress and was justified?
Town full of assholes. I wouldn't piss them off until I was safely out of town either.
|by Anonymous||reply 39||09/06/2013|
Prego bacon and provolone flavor sauce is on sale this week, $1 a jar.
|by Anonymous||reply 40||09/06/2013|
If it ain't Beefaroni, it ain't Italian.
|by Anonymous||reply 41||09/06/2013|
R27, is "basket cheese" ricotta?
|by Anonymous||reply 42||09/06/2013|
Get out of the state you're in!
|by Anonymous||reply 43||09/06/2013|
I use it at Easter to make pizza chiena.
|by Anonymous||reply 44||09/06/2013|
Lovely, R44. There are a few sites with instructions for making your own & it sounds pretty simple (except that they all call for rennet, which those of us who don't eat meat can't use). The cheese & the Italian Easter pie both sound delightful.
|by Anonymous||reply 45||09/06/2013|
Our family recipe is very different than the one I linked to. We use bread or pizza dough for the crust and no eggs, just ricotta, basket cheese and mozzarella cheese. There are many variations of this pie based on region and family tradition.
r45-You're worried about rennet when the recipe calls for pepperoni, prosciutto and boiled ham? LOL.
Anyway, don't want to derail the thread. Back to the [italic]cafones[/italic] in Amarillo.
|by Anonymous||reply 46||09/06/2013|
R35, Lubbock is the Paris of the COTTON fields.
Midland is the Paris of the oil fields.
|by Anonymous||reply 47||09/06/2013|
There are a lot of places in this country where Italian food is not understood.
One of my family members corrected a chef and told him al dente meant soft like pudding and this stuff he was serving was not I-taliain at all.
|by Anonymous||reply 48||09/07/2013|
Does everyone have to like Italian food? Talk about entitlement. "I'm Italian, ergo, I'm a great cook and my culture makes great food and there's something wrong with you if you don't like it.".
Gimme a fucking break.
|by Anonymous||reply 49||09/07/2013|
r42 Basket cheese, sometimes called pot cheese, IS similar to ricotta, but much firmer. They press the curds to remove much of the moisture, sometimes it is salted, then left to solidify in its "basket". Even in MY big Italian neighborhood it is difficult to find, usually only see it at big holidays, particularly Easter. r45 I see your point about the rennet. Calcium chloride is used when they make tofu, it clabbers the soy "milk." I wonder if that can be used with cow's milk?
|by Anonymous||reply 50||09/07/2013|
I've been to Lubbock, and if It is better, Amarillo must really be a pit.
|by Anonymous||reply 51||09/07/2013|
Avoid Texas. Ignore what you hear about Austin being ok. It's a trap.
|by Anonymous||reply 52||09/07/2013|
R3 said it first so he gets credit. Who opens a premium dining facility with researching what the people in that town are wiliing to spend money on? Pompous, presumptuous chefs who think their craft is so astounding that people will regardlessly flock to their tables, that's who.
|by Anonymous||reply 53||09/07/2013|
The best Italian food is so cheap and easy to make there is no sense in eating out. And the markup is ridiculous--pasta costs pennies but you will pay 15 bucks for a pasta dish with a little chicken breast thrown in.
The reason why you see so many Italian/pizza joints around is because the profit margin is so huge. It's also why so many non-Italians, like Koreans, Arabs, etc. open pizza joints.
Now, a good pizza joint is worthy of our devotion, but one can make equally good at home.
Learn to cook, fuckers!
|by Anonymous||reply 54||09/07/2013|
I already know how to cook, R54. Probably better than you. I simply don't want to. I have much better things to do with my time than plan menus, go grocery shopping, cook a meals and clean up. No thanks. I can well afford to over pay for good food. So, I do.
Same with house cleaning and garden work. Of course it's cheaper to do it yourself, but who the hell wants to that that can afford NOT to?
|by Anonymous||reply 55||09/07/2013|
Just maybe the food sucked
|by Anonymous||reply 56||09/07/2013|
Someone didn't do their market research. Who's stupid now?
|by Anonymous||reply 57||09/07/2013|
R54 one does not throw chicken into pasta if one is Italian. If that is the shit you eat at home....I would not want to eat at your home. Chicken does not belong on pasta or pizza.
|by Anonymous||reply 58||09/07/2013|
[quote]Chicken does not belong on pasta or pizza.
What about Chicken Spaghetti?
|by Anonymous||reply 59||09/07/2013|
Chicken spaghetti...gross just gross
|by Anonymous||reply 60||09/08/2013|
OMG, R30! Do you melt some Velveeta in it, too?
|by Anonymous||reply 61||09/08/2013|
r59 ....or Chicken Tetrazinni?
|by Anonymous||reply 62||09/08/2013|
When made correctly neither are past dishes. R62/63
|by Anonymous||reply 64||09/08/2013|
R62 btw....your precious dish comes from San Francisco and has fuck all to do with Italy.
|by Anonymous||reply 65||09/08/2013|
Pasta is for hot Italians who are not fat.
|by Anonymous||reply 67||09/08/2013|
The reasoning behind why they must be behind the sign is stupid.
|by Anonymous||reply 68||09/08/2013|
Pasta is a side dish in Italy. Fish and vegetables figure very heavily in the Italian diet.
|by Anonymous||reply 69||09/08/2013|
I never heard of chicken spaghetti until I saw it on datalounge. I presume it is eaten by the people who use "drug" as the past tense for "drag."
|by Anonymous||reply 70||09/08/2013|
My mother always made eye-tailan food because she said that's what the Romans fed Jesus... authentic eye-talian has chopped up hot dogs in it.
|by Anonymous||reply 72||09/08/2013|
I need to see the Chef. Is mister Boy-R-Dee available? This stuff ain't nothing like what I git from him in the can.
Heavens to Betsy, ma! This is more disappointing than that fancy Turkey Day you took us to, and they couldn't even serve the cranburry sauce right. They mushed it all up or sumthin, and it didn't look like the shape of the can no more at all!
|by Anonymous||reply 73||09/08/2013|
Just throw a jalapeno into the Sunday gravy.
|by Anonymous||reply 74||09/08/2013|
[quote]Pasta is a side dish in Italy. Fish and vegetables figure very heavily in the Italian diet.
technically it's a "primo" - the first plate. the second plate is more substantial and could be anything from roast beef to friend fish, to fave beans, completely dependent on the region and season.
|by Anonymous||reply 75||09/08/2013|
I went to Italy once. Some restaurant tried to serve me horse and donkey! I didn't know they was savages over there.
|by Anonymous||reply 76||09/08/2013|
Charlie the Tuna was always quite friendly
[quote]to fave beans
I like cannellini
|by Anonymous||reply 77||09/08/2013|
Next time, the owner might try changing the name from Sava! to something that's actually Italian.
Oh, and for those wondering, there are definitely some "authentic" Italian chicken dishes: chicken saltimbocca, chicken scalloppine, etc.
Lastly, I LOVE the photo of Sava!'s owner/chef that some former diner recently posted on Urbanspoon. Hee!
|by Anonymous||reply 78||09/08/2013|
Texans should be served food as they deserve it, in a trough.
|by Anonymous||reply 79||09/08/2013|