Serving up this steaming pile of
Celebrity Gossip
Gay Politics
Gay News
and Pointless Bitchery
Since 1995

Without children, who do you live for when your parents die?


by Anonymousreply 8909/07/2013


by Anonymousreply 109/05/2013

R1 wins.

by Anonymousreply 209/05/2013

For me, for me, for me ..........FOOOOOOOOR MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE !!!

by Anonymousreply 309/05/2013

I don't. When my parents go, I'm checking out.

by Anonymousreply 409/05/2013

Someone living for themselves is the loneliest thing I've ever heard.

by Anonymousreply 509/05/2013

To see what happens.

by Anonymousreply 609/05/2013

Did you really 'live for' your parents when they were alive? I don't think I did.

I do, in a sense, agree with R1 and R2, baldly as it was put. I live for myself, which is to say I live a life that pleases me. It happens to please me to do tons of charity work. So it all works out for the best.

by Anonymousreply 709/05/2013

You don't really live for your children anyway. Most elderly people keep living because they want to. If your child dies or goes to prison or just gets really involved in their own life are parents supposed to just shrivel up and die?

by Anonymousreply 809/05/2013

Mine have been dead 38 and 13 years respectively.

Not a problem. Getting along just fine.

You will too, OP, when the time comes.

by Anonymousreply 909/05/2013

Smell you r7

You live for your parents in that you are attempting to prove or disprove their opinion of you. Like I'm planning a big fuck you moment in my head with my dad which drives me a lot to strive for more. I'm not living for him. But when he's gone the FU moment will no longer exist for me.

by Anonymousreply 1009/05/2013

OP smells like a frau/housewife looking down her nose at the childless.

Yes, dear your kids will just be tending to your every need in your dotage.

by Anonymousreply 1109/05/2013

A publisher.

by Anonymousreply 1209/05/2013

I'm surprised that R5 has the ability to type. Perhaps a passing monkey helped her.

There are millions of people, gay and straight, who have lived and died without ever having children. Were all of their lives worthless and sad? No.

It is entirely possible, and often desirable, to live for yourself while loving others and having a meaningful life.

by Anonymousreply 1309/05/2013

you need therapy r5/r10...lots of it. (and pills too maybe)

by Anonymousreply 1409/05/2013

Ugh. Youngsters.

No one past 40 gives a shit about their parents or their children.

by Anonymousreply 1509/05/2013

R11 I'm gay with no children.

On the most visceral level the I could never kill myself because I cold never put that on my mother. And I'm imagining that thought process can be transferred to children. But if you're alone and want to, what's to stop you?

by Anonymousreply 1609/05/2013

As if I'm living for Mamie! I'm living for 4 and 5!!!

by Anonymousreply 1709/05/2013

[quote]. But if you're alone and want to, what's to stop you?

nothing. go to it!!!!

by Anonymousreply 1809/05/2013

R16, people with living parents and living children kill themselves every day.

You have absolutely no idea what you're blathering on about, do you?

by Anonymousreply 1909/05/2013

I don't live "for" anyone, I just live. It's okay to do that, OP.

I work in the helping professions so I don't feel I need a family to contribute something to society. I suppose you could say I live "for" my community, if you stretch a point.

by Anonymousreply 2009/05/2013

By op's line of thinking shouldn't we just gas all orphans?

by Anonymousreply 2109/05/2013

You are the only person you are guaranteed to spend the rest of your life with. To live your life for someone else means you are setting yourself up for a very big disappointment.

by Anonymousreply 2209/05/2013

Just because you have nothing to live for doesn't mean you stop living r21 it just means you have nothing grounding you here.

by Anonymousreply 2309/05/2013

bye bye us via spiritual medium and tell us about your crossover

by Anonymousreply 2409/05/2013

Am I allowed to live for my partner?

by Anonymousreply 2509/05/2013

[quote]Just because you have nothing to live for doesn't mean you stop living [R21] it just means you have nothing grounding you here.

R23 still doesn't get it. You always ground yourself within your own life. It has nothing to do with anyone else.

Perhaps she's not as stupid as she appears and she's just seeking attention. She's had enough of mine. t

by Anonymousreply 2609/05/2013

[quote]Someone living for themselves is the loneliest thing I've ever heard.


I live because... I am ALIVE!

I don't live FOR anyone! My parents are alive and well, but they're old and won't live forever...nor will I. Although I certainly will be sad when they die, I do have a full life of work, hobbies, friends, and yes, myself. I'll be fine.

by Anonymousreply 2709/05/2013

That's the good thing...if you have no kids, you can die whenever you want to. If your Dr. says..."well we need you to do that stress test Mr. Smith, because your EKG doesn't look right." Guess what? You can say..."I don't want a stress test and I ain't getting one!" It's freedom to die without guilt!

by Anonymousreply 2809/05/2013

Most people do not live for their parents.

So when your parents are gone you never lived for them anyway.

People with interests and who enjoy life have no trouble continuing to live when their parents are gone and without children.

It is not a well-adjusted, maturely developed, balanced person who cannot live without their parents.

And many people do not want children and never have them.

by Anonymousreply 2909/05/2013

I believe the question should be, "whom do you live for" or "for whom do you live". If there was only someone on this site who cares about good grammar.

by Anonymousreply 3009/05/2013

The love of life and music

by Anonymousreply 3109/05/2013

[quote] I'm surprised that [R5] has the ability to type. Perhaps a passing monkey helped her.

I laughed too much at this.

by Anonymousreply 3209/05/2013

OP is a piece of garbage intending to harrass and depress single people. Sorry, it doesn't matter how many rugrats your fetid pussy pushes out, I will still contribute more to the survival of the human race than you have.

by Anonymousreply 3309/05/2013

Live for art. Live to go see another play, opera, ballet. Live to watch another movie or tv show.

The arts should keeping you going at any age. Without them there truly is no point to life.

by Anonymousreply 3409/05/2013

I sat next to two old women at a restaurant yesterday. They were discussing a woman they knew who was being released from the hospital and none of her three children were available to pick her up. One was a professor at Yale!!!

Sorry fraus. Push them out but they won't necessarily be there for you.

by Anonymousreply 3509/05/2013

OP, I wonder this all the time. Now that everyone has died, I don't see what i'm looking forward to other than death. I'm 32, and alone in pretty much every way.

I have a job that I hate passionately and I honestly feel that I'd feel better if a position opened up somewhere else. Frankly, I've given up hope for there to be a purpose to my life other than making money to pay bills.

Two weeks ago I was sick, Doctors, Ultrasounds and CT scans expensively revealed that it was just severe food poisoning, but during the nine days I was home alone I realized that it's not going to get any easier. While there isn't anyone left for me to care for me. If I grow old there is no one to help with things around the house, no one to make sure I take my medication on time if i'm to sick to keep track. All I have to look forward to is the slow decent from independence to home healthcare, to nursing home.

In Summary, some of us just live. Some of us will never find a role once son, grandson etc, stop being who we are.

by Anonymousreply 3609/05/2013

R36- What about your friends? You don't need to have a partner to have someone check on you when you're sick.

by Anonymousreply 3709/05/2013

Oh for Christ sakes, R36, I am 65 and I don't even worry about the things you list.

There are volunteer agencies which provide volunteers to help you and even call you daily, and there are home healthcare agencies who provide aides who can check on you and provide services.

Volunteers are provided for older adults who need assistance with various things.

R36, you are being ridiculous. None of the things you list are anything to worry about.

by Anonymousreply 3809/05/2013

R32 if it makes you feel any better, you are not the only one.

by Anonymousreply 3909/05/2013

A lifelong friend,who is very wise, told me when we were 18 years old, the only reason to have children is to have someone to take care of you, when you get old , and sick. We each took car of our mothers, who became ill, in their 80's - 1 with cancer, 1 with Alzheimers, until their respective deaths. Now, we are both in our 50's , both currently un-partnered, and I am seeing what he meant. There is the sense now, that there won't be anyone to be there for either of us, when that time comes.

by Anonymousreply 4009/05/2013

assisted living r40....and you should be buying your long term care insurance NOW! in your 50s

by Anonymousreply 4109/05/2013

[quote]A lifelong friend,who is very wise, told me when we were 18 years old, the only reason to have children is to have someone to take care of you, when you get old , and sick.


by Anonymousreply 4209/05/2013

R38 You are dead wrong. These services are NOT always available, especially if you have Medicaid or live in a state or city with big budget cuts or do not have one of the conditions they list on their increasingly-restrictive formularies.

And just what do you think this person is "worrying about". He or she is obviously experiencing it in his/her daily life. There is nothing worse than people who are wealthy and well and like to heap blame on others who are not.

by Anonymousreply 4309/06/2013

I want to live!!!

by Anonymousreply 4409/06/2013

OMG, OP, you are right! I think I'll kill myself.

by Anonymousreply 4509/06/2013

U.S. Birth rate falling. I don't want kids either.

by Anonymousreply 4609/06/2013

R43, volunteers are free. Agencies and groups who specialize in recruiting volunteers provide volunteers to check on older adults and assist them.

I'm not saying everyone lives where volunteers are available, but millions of people do.

And many people have Medicare and Medicare Supplemental health insurance policies which supplement Medicare have home health care aides available to them when needed.

by Anonymousreply 4709/06/2013

If either parent were boots on the ground at war...the VA will help with a lot of things but most people don't know that.

by Anonymousreply 4809/06/2013

Good question, OP. Right now, the answer is nothing/nobody (except myself). Oh and my cat. Though we don't have a perfect relationship, I'm very close to both my parents (mom more so) and will be traumatized when they die.

by Anonymousreply 4909/06/2013

I'm too young to contemplate such things.

by Anonymousreply 5009/06/2013

You're going to be dead a looong time. May as well enjoy your stay on Earth.

by Anonymousreply 5109/06/2013

OP needs to see a shrink about the co-dependence problem.

by Anonymousreply 5209/06/2013

I wander the woods and breathe the air. I teach the young to cherish the earth as a beautiful home

by Anonymousreply 5309/06/2013

Having kids is no guarantee that they will take care of you, live in the same city or even call you regularly when you're old.

by Anonymousreply 5409/06/2013

R52, very true. All gay men who are overly dependent upon their parents or their mother should see a shrink.

To think that you have no reason to live after your mother or parents die is a sign of mental disturbance and vast co-dependence that is very unhealthy.

by Anonymousreply 5509/06/2013

Easier to say when you have a partner or kids, R55.

by Anonymousreply 5609/06/2013

No, R56, you are wrong. All gay men who are overly dependent upon their parents or their mother should see a shrink.

The vast majority of people do not fall apart when their parents die nor think that they lost a reason to live upon death of parents.

Most people are much more well-adjusted and maturely developed than that with interests in life and enjoyment of life.

To think that you have no reason to live after your mother or parents die is a sign of mental disturbance and vast co-dependence that is very unhealthy.

R56, you seem to think I have a partner or have kids. I do not. I am alone and live alone.

by Anonymousreply 5709/06/2013

I don't understand the question.

I'm in my mid 40s. I live alone. No kids. Both my parents are still living but when they die, I will be sad but I certainly have much more going on in my life than just my relationship to them. And I never wanted kids so I have no regrets about not having them. When I'm old, I will make sure I am cared for with money or I'll get a damn bidet if I can't wipe my own ass anymore.

Caring for yourself is something everyone needs to learn to do. I really can't believe someone even thinks this question is valid.

by Anonymousreply 5809/06/2013

learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.....OR you can just take crack

by Anonymousreply 5909/06/2013

For those of who LIVE for when our parents die, just reliving THAT is enough!

Thanks for asking, you insufferable cunt. May your children piss on your grave.

by Anonymousreply 6009/06/2013

For fuck's sake, there'e nothing lower among the DL citizenry than these weeping, wheezing old gas bag mommas' boys who can't face life without Mother.


by Anonymousreply 6109/06/2013

SLAP them!

by Anonymousreply 6209/06/2013

I wore pink to momma's funeral!

by Anonymousreply 6309/06/2013

This thread has really derailed from my originally question.

It's not about having someone to take care of you when you get old. And it's not about being overly dependent on your parents either.

I, against the wishes of my father, became an artist. I am a struggling artist right now. Part of what drives me is the idea of finally achieving some success and being able to show him he had nothing to worry about. If he dies before that ever happens, will my success mean as much to me if and when it happens?

And then that got me thinking that without children to take care of or provide for, will I even still care about being successful. I think I need success more to prove to other people that I was right in my choices than I need it for myself.

Those were the initial feelings that spawned this thread.

by Anonymousreply 6409/06/2013

very well said, R61.

pathetic is right

by Anonymousreply 6509/06/2013

r64-please seek professional help

by Anonymousreply 6609/06/2013

R64 who is the OP - you are still messed up and the question you posed is also messed up

by Anonymousreply 6709/06/2013

[quote]I need success more to prove to other people that I was right

That's twisted. How old are you, OP?

by Anonymousreply 6809/06/2013

Wheezing, sniffling old gay codger here. When my Mom buys the farm, I'm going with her. I don't give a crap what anyone else says. None of the guys I loved when I young and gay turned into lasting relationships, so I don't have any desire to relive any of that shit. I've only been homo since becoming truly old. The gay shit is only for the young and gleefully senseless. There's no happiness to be had in the type of gay of my day, fortunately, there seems to be some maturation and change taking place for younger mo's of today. I wish them well, but then compared to my time, which started in the 60's anything will be an improvement.

by Anonymousreply 6909/06/2013

R69 has posted this clap trap about himself on Datalounge many times before.

Pathetic, maladjusted, emotionally immature, under-developed, weak person who has never learned to take care of himself in life and never developed interests in life.

You know, gay people are not the only people who are alone when parents die. Many older divorced women or single women - both without children - are alone in life and do not act as if they cannot live an enjoyable life upon the death of parents. (some male heterosexuals too)

by Anonymousreply 7009/06/2013

You may see it as twisted, but I see it as the truth.

And you can't even pretend that a lot or people's drive in life is revenge based - people who achieved great things because they wanted to prove others wrong about themselves.

I am just saying that a lot of my drive and desire to achieve anything comes from being held accountable by other people for my actions. Otherwise I could go to work, come home and masturbate all day.

by Anonymousreply 7109/06/2013


by Anonymousreply 7209/06/2013

Jesus Christ, R57, you're a real fucking asshole.

by Anonymousreply 7309/06/2013

r64 is an artist! lol!!!!

by Anonymousreply 7409/06/2013

R57 seems pretty right-on to me.

by Anonymousreply 7509/06/2013

Holy codependency.

by Anonymousreply 7609/06/2013

I agree with R57. It is not healthy for anyone to stop living after the loss of a loved one, be it their parent or spouse or child.

by Anonymousreply 7709/06/2013

My nephews.

by Anonymousreply 7809/06/2013

I want to provide for all the animals of the world. I hate using the term animals, but I know everyone else will know I mean the critters that can do no wrong. I'm not concerned with relatives even though I dearly care for them, but they can take care of themselves. All of the non human critters need all the help they can get. I will do all I can to see they get the consideration and share of the planet which is theirs too.

by Anonymousreply 7909/06/2013

At a certain point, you come to stop wanting or needing your parents' approval. That's when you truly have matured.

Until then, you won't have peace.

by Anonymousreply 8009/06/2013


You only get one life - do whatever the fuck you want and enjoy it and who gives a shit what anybody else says or thinks.

by Anonymousreply 8109/06/2013

Life is very worth living without living for someone else or living for a particular person or persons.

by Anonymousreply 8209/06/2013

my public

by Anonymousreply 8309/06/2013

Not for everyone, moron at R82. God you idiots are pissing me off.

It's not about me losing my will to live after my parents die. Jesus.

I've suffered depression my entire life (nothing helps more than temporarily). I'm getting older and my body is quitting. Won't be long before there's a lot of pain and little mobility. My life has pretty much sucked from beginning to end... few friends, no love, little sex. My will to live was lost a very, very long time ago.

But I'm an only child, and my parents are great. I would never ever want to hurt them, and me killing myself would devastate them. So I live for them. But once they go (if I can judge by the ages THEIR parents died, they have about ten more years), I'll put all their things in order, then put all mine in order, and then quietly, with great relief, check out myself.

Because there will be no reason to go on at all at that point. Nothing that is wrong with my life is ever going to be fixed at this point... it's all downhill from bad.

So fuck you and all your inane assumptions and "up with people" bullshit. Jesus. Clueless, all of you.

by Anonymousreply 8409/06/2013

[quote]You only get one life - do whatever the fuck you want and enjoy it and who gives a shit what anybody else says or thinks.

That'll get you a big pile a poor.

by Anonymousreply 8509/06/2013

yes r84 you have convinced me. You should check out as soon as possible!!! Yuck!!! What a downer you are!!!

by Anonymousreply 8609/06/2013

Shorter version of R84:

I have lead a meaningless and miserable life, most of which is due to my bitter and angry character. I hate seeing other people have the sort of life I wish I had. So I will alternate insulting and lashing out at others with feeling sorry for myself.

by Anonymousreply 8709/06/2013

Thanks, r87. Your summary is perfect. And unlike R84, you are succinct.

by Anonymousreply 8809/07/2013

[quote]I believe the question should be, "whom do you live for" or "for whom do you live". If there was only someone on this site who cares about good grammar.

There is, R30 -- I was sleeping, but I'm here now! And you're right about "whom". But your last sentence should say "If only there were someone ....".

by Anonymousreply 8909/07/2013
Need more help? Click Here.

Follow theDL catch up on what you missed

recent threads by topic delivered to your email

follow popular threads on twitter

follow us on facebook

Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!