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Is it even possible to have a monogamous relationship in the city anymore?

It seems that no one here wants to date or get involved in a long-term monogamous relationship. It's all wham, bam, thank you sam, and on to the next. I've never been one to whore around, so that type of life is not for me. The few seemingly bf material guys I've met the past few months were ultimately just looking for a fb. I was especially into this one guy I met at my local pet supply store on the UWS. He loved his dog and seemed sincere, so he would make a great bf, right? Wrong! Again, he just wanted some NSA fucking. So WHERE THE HELL are the ones who want a monogamous relationship? I know I sound like a gay frau LOL, but that's what I want...a committed, loving, exclusive relationship with another guy. Are they all already coupled? Surely I can't be the only gay guy bemoaning the lack of quality guys in the city.

by Anonymousreply 1709/05/2013

If you are in NYC, you probably won't meet anyone, if the New Yorkers here are any indication... Sanity and temperance are out of the question in that city.

Other cities? You'll find someone eventually. Hang in there.

by Anonymousreply 109/04/2013

Always waiting for the bigger and better deal. A Mr. Big that is gorgeous and worth tens of millions.

How old are you?

by Anonymousreply 209/04/2013

They're in flyover country.

by Anonymousreply 309/04/2013

Oh, bitch, please. You only want what you don't have.

As soon as you find a nice guy who wants to settle down, you'll feel trapped and start picking up guys in the pet store for NSA.

by Anonymousreply 409/04/2013

Think for a moment about what draws people to NYC. It's big, it's fast, there's always a party and fabulous people with whom to surround oneself. It's great if you have ADD, or bore easily. But for me? It's terrifyingly overwhelming. It's too loud. The pace feels too rushed. And I am the type who isn't interested in NSA.

Perhaps you should think about a region with a slower pace, which will attract more people who are interested in the same. It doesn't mean you have to go to BFE, just step it down a bit.

by Anonymousreply 509/04/2013

Yes, I live in NYC. I'm fairly attractive and would make some guy a hell of a bf/husband. No one seems to be interested in anything exclusive. It's depressing. I feel like I'm going to grow old alone and unloved. Yeah, I suppose I'd have a better chance in a more suburban/rural area, but I do love NYC. It's just maddening that so many adult gay men here want nothing more than to fuck around.

by Anonymousreply 609/04/2013

Actually, a question for the NYC DL'ers - where do guys who are interested in relationships meet each other online? I just moved back after a few years of being away, and I remember OKCupid being pretty decent back in the day for a few nice dates. But it seems like a lot of people have moved on... they can't all have gone to Grindr or Scruff.

And OP, I think there are a lot (and have always been a lot) of great relationship-oriented guys in the city; it's just hard to meet and find them since everyone's always so busy and focused on their lives, careers, etc. And as bad a rep as the city dating scene has, after having lived in a no-man's land for a couple of years, I for one am grateful that there are so many gay guys here (attractive ones too!), even if it means you have to sort through a lot of them who don't want anything serious. I mean, yeah, all those available men means you have people who'll always be searching for better options, but it beats living somewhere where there aren't any options at all.

by Anonymousreply 709/04/2013

You were told what to do, OP. If you can't accept that, then stop whining.

by Anonymousreply 809/04/2013

Why don't OP and R7 go out on a date? Problem solved!

by Anonymousreply 909/04/2013

The me explain. This white picket fence stuff is very new. How old are you? It's that new. Since the beginning of time, our kind has whored. It's what we do. Only a tiny minority of homosexuals (the brutally unattractive ones for the most part) hooked up in some sort of permanent relationship. Some of them were actually faithful for life. "Faithful" could also be defined as roommates.

A larger fraction of our people paired up in shorter relationships. Couple of years at most. Rarely monogamous (they lie.) Sometimes the pairings were even attractive and were wonderful for 3 and 4-ways. I (we) had lots of those.

Then came the Disease. For many men, the only way was partner-to-live. Add twenty years to that and you have the present situation where younger types actually think it's normal. Even more amazing, we savage a florist who refuses to do a gay wedding. I tend to give people like that a bit of a break - rarely if ever in human history has such a sweeping change in standards-beliefs-mores happened so quickly. Furthermore, very, very few people on this discussion board see it this way.

by Anonymousreply 1009/04/2013

That was far less clever and droll than you thought, R10. Don't quit your day job.

by Anonymousreply 1109/04/2013

men screw around, and that's a fact. doesn't mean you can't have a relationship, but monogamy? ain't gonna happen.

by Anonymousreply 1209/04/2013

According to pre-Scruff/Grindr data, a third of New York's gay men have genital herpes and 90% don't know, even though they can still pass it on. As you get (or date) older, the numbers go up. It's no big deal, but I rarely hear that from guys promoting nonmonogamy - they seem in total denial about the health consequences.

by Anonymousreply 1309/05/2013

New Yorkers are whores, darling.

by Anonymousreply 1409/05/2013

Wasn't Sex and the City cancelled?

by Anonymousreply 1509/05/2013

" He loved his dog and seemed sincere, so he would make a great bf, right?"

Never wonder why you're single.


by Anonymousreply 1609/05/2013

Anything is possible if you want it bad enough, op. Problem is, you have to settle for somebody and if there really isn't a spark, well....that's settling.

by Anonymousreply 1709/05/2013
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