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When a straight guy calls you ma'am

As in "Thanks ma'am". And you're not a woman, transgender, etc.

I can feel my face go white hot with anger, but I'm a shop clerk and can't lose this job.

P.S. they smile and act like they just said 'man' but you know the difference.

by GWMreply 5509/04/2013

Well, someone has to say it:

This thread is USELESS without pictures.

Post 'em, OP.

by GWMreply 109/03/2013

What the hell? This doesn't even make sense? You have people calling you ma'am on a regular basis?

What the hell are you wearing?

by GWMreply 209/03/2013

The flames radiating off of you must be visible from outer space.

by GWMreply 309/03/2013

What I hate is when they call my purse/burse my honey bucket. I know what they mean.

by GWMreply 409/03/2013

OP, I hope you hit him with your murse!

by GWMreply 509/03/2013

OP, are you sure your name isn't Martin and he didn't call you Mar?

by GWMreply 609/03/2013

OP, it sounds like he said man. Are you sure he wasn't English or Jamaican?

by GWMreply 709/03/2013

Are you 100% positively sure that they don`t say `man`? And if they don`t ,that`s what gays get for all this identification with female gender when adressing themselves (`girls`,`gurls`,`ladies` `sisters`), using female pronouns,etc.

by GWMreply 809/03/2013

That's a new one for me; I've never heard of anyone being called ma'am in person. When I was younger, (13 or so) it would happen all the time.

by GWMreply 909/03/2013

Reply "you're very welcome, Miss."

He'll never say that to another man again.

by GWMreply 1009/03/2013

I wish Pollyanna Prisspot,School Ma`rm weighed in...

by GWMreply 1109/03/2013

I know it's hard but you just have to try and rise above it. Smile but think in your head how rude that asshole is. Nice person wouldn't say something like that to you, and in the end why should you give a fuck what some nasty little man thinks of you?

When I was in my early teens I was bullied at school and got called almost daily 'Miss', and it was absolutely infuriating, and really saddened me. No one defended me, although it was only the assholes that bullied me. I never really protested because the situation was so bizarre and I was so ashamed of it, and of myself for being such a girly boy. When I grew up I wished I'd done something because it has caused lot of trouble in my mind now when I'm an adult.

But I've heard later that one of the worst bullies had a beef with my older brother that I knew nothing about, and was using me for revenge. Some other bullies also had trouble at home, and even though they shouldn't have been bitchy to me I in a way understand that none of them really knew me and were just attacking what they saw: a feminine and shy boy. Sometimes situations just are shitty, but you just have to try and not let the bullies of the world win. I did let the bullies win because I believed that they were right, that I was something to be laughed at. Now I know differently, but the scars are still there.

So, if your job depends on it, just smile and bear it. Fortunately most people are nice, and shitheads are rare. If you can just push them out of your mind, and don't let them bother you anymore in your head. Because some people are trolls who enjoy causing havoc for others. Don't give them that satisfaction.

by GWMreply 1209/03/2013

[bold]THANKS, MISS[/bold]-ter

by GWMreply 1309/03/2013

Couldn't you just say, "You're welcome, Miss."

by GWMreply 1409/03/2013

This has never happened to me, but R14 has the obvious reply.

by GWMreply 1509/03/2013

OP is Mr Humphries.

by GWMreply 1609/03/2013

Reply "No problem, sugar buns, I'm just a gal who can't say no!"

by GWMreply 1709/03/2013

I only become annoyed when slang terms for body parts are mixed up. Everyone knows a girl has a boohoo which is her vagina. Gay guys who like their attention from the rear have an hehoo, slang for a butt that accepts two way traffic. When a guy refers to my boohoo, I go ballistic and ram his nose in my hehoo to make sure he knows the difference. I know I shouldn't get all dramatic and madam butterfly on him, but someones got to educate these toddlers.

by GWMreply 1809/03/2013

R12, I learned early on and quickly how to deal with bullies. In high school, I was small and effeminate and was called faggot in the hallways constantly. One day I was so fearful and in so much pain, I decided I had enough and I was going to do something, damn the torpedoes and possible consequences irrelevant. When one of those dickhead football players saw me between classes and yelled faggot, I breathed deeply, turned to him, dropped the enormous pile of books I was carrying and said, "You're damn right I'm a faggot. Now get on your knees so I can come in your mouth you ugly little bitch!" It felt like the world had stopped turning for a moment and I was sure I was going to be murdered on the spot. But instead, everyone who heard it in the hallway started laughing and slapping me on the back, including some of his buddies. The humiliation was suddenly on the other foot and the asswipe crumbled. Never had a problem again with anyone in that school. Btw, that strategy also worked years later in NYC while being harassed by a bunch of straight guys after clubbing one night. You gotta own who your are and fight back. Take back the night as they used to say!!!

by GWMreply 1909/03/2013

That has never happened to me, and I can't imagine it. Why would that happen?

by GWMreply 2009/03/2013

We have day-long seminars every year at Michfest on this very subject. They are very popular and well attended by the "guys."

by GWMreply 2109/03/2013

r19 for the victory!

Shortly after I came out, there was a high school graduation party where lots of parents attended. One classmate's mom called me ma'am in front of several parents - it got some rather mean-spirited laughs. It seemed as though the entire world came to a screeching halt. I was shocked and couldn't think straight. Was I being insulted? Assaulted? I took the impact of her saying "no ma'am" to me and a second later shot back "are you really that simple?" That ended it.

Later on, I tried to convince myself that she called me ma'am by accident and that I was horrible for responding in turn.

by GWMreply 2209/03/2013

OP do you look like Pat?

by GWMreply 2309/03/2013

OP, you sound paranoid. You should do something about that.

by GWMreply 2409/03/2013

OP, either he

1. Is a homophobe and thought/knew you were gay 2. He simply made a mistake. I have accidentally called women Mr. and men Mrs-- no agenda at all.

by GWMreply 2509/03/2013

I always respond with, you wish.

by GWMreply 2609/03/2013

A very few times one of the dumb cunts where I used to work would say something like "Hi, ladies" when I was also present. My response is usually "Hi, sir." Or else I'll question their vision. The offensive cow then feigns perplexed innocence.

Just last week one made a remark about "fruitflies" with a smirky tone. I let it slide since I have to work closely with her. Funny thing is, she seems like a big dyke.

by GWMreply 2709/03/2013

Sometimes it's just a slip. It sounds like you live down south.

I used to say yes ma'am to men sometimes when I was a kid just because you were so used to saying it. Particularly in school.

by GWMreply 2809/03/2013

The manager of G.D. Ritzy's would do this to me every time I ordered a cone. Even in the presence of my family. He was such an asshole. I don't know why I kept going. It was so humiliating.

by GWMreply 2909/03/2013

I'd say you're welcome miss with a big wink and smile. Only if I was absolutely certain he called me ma'am, and not man.

by GWMreply 3009/03/2013

No, I look like a guy (goatee, etc.) but I do have gayvoice.

by GWMreply 3109/03/2013

Damn, I am so so so conditioned to use "ma'am" as a term of respect, and I'm an educator who works with a lot of females, so I KNOW I sometimes let this slip when I'm not thinking, even when I'm talking to the butchest men. It's awful. I always want to go back and retract it, but that would make it even worse.

When I was in a relationship, I was so conditioned to say "I love you", I once said it (not thinking AT ALL) to the customer service rep from my credit card company on the phone. I just hung the fuck up and proceeded to agonize.

by GWMreply 3209/03/2013

OP, why do certain gays reject masculinity? Discuss.

by GWMreply 3309/03/2013

Maybe it's the caftan?

by GWMreply 3409/03/2013

{quote]that`s what gays get for all this identification with female gender when adressing themselves

Why are you addressing this to gay's in general. It's a minor subset of gay people who do this. Don't stereotype.

by GWMreply 3509/03/2013

Ma'am I quite frankly don't give a damn!

by GWMreply 3609/03/2013

Excuse me miss, but with all due respect, I have problems of my own.

by GWMreply 3709/03/2013

Damn, I wish there was a preview post feature on Datalounge.

by GWMreply 3809/03/2013

I have been slipping and calling my colleagues "toots." Embarrassing.

by GWMreply 3909/03/2013

Next time someone does it, OP if I were you I'd cut him.

by GWMreply 4009/03/2013

Op, is the gayvoice an affectation, or something that just happens? I mean no disrespect, I've just always wondered.

by GWMreply 4109/03/2013

OP, are you Jamie McMurray?

by GWMreply 4209/03/2013

Op, that is a horrible situation to be put in, and no adult should be there in the first place. However, it's best for YOU, to just let it go, rise above it, take the high road, and ignore small-minded idiots like this guy. He's probably every unhappy in his pathetic little life, or else he's a closet case.

by GWMreply 4309/03/2013

OP = Ross Mathews

by GWMreply 4409/03/2013

I have a tenor voice to begin with. And I was raised in a house of women.

What I don't understand is these straight guys hear this voice all the time with their women. But when it comes out of a man it needs to be ridiculed.

by GWMreply 4509/03/2013

THIS was found on OP's Ipod...

by GWMreply 4609/04/2013

I always say "still trying to pass those three dollars bills, huh?"

by GWMreply 4709/04/2013

OP was the guy with another guy, a group of guys, or by himself? If he was by himself, he said man and you misheard. Straight guys only do that kind of stuff when they with others.

by GWMreply 4809/04/2013

R48, some assholes try to bring out their superiority out also when they are alone. Just think of how some racist guy in the South back in the 50's would say something nasty to a black guy when there are just two of them. They do that when they are pretty certain that they are in the more powerful position than the other person. It's all just a fucked up power play. Some men see gays or feminine men so beneath them that they just can't help but bring out their disdain in some way. But it's true that usually guys saying nasty remarks are performing to others, whether it's their friends or strangers who they think are supportive of his nastiness.

R19, I wish that I'd acted like you did. The only time I said something to those guys was once when I just said NO loudly to them, which just made them laugh harder at me. Those situations were terrifying to me, so I couldn't come up with something witty. A gay friend whom I met when adult told me that he had been bullied by one guy and once he just got enough of it and grabbed the bully in the ear and dragged him to the principal's office. I should've done something like that. My only consolation was that a year after the most bullying happened I had a mohawk haircut which raised my street cred to another level. I remember one of the worst bullies seeing me and I remember the shock on his face when he watched me with his mouth open. No one bullied me when I had that mohawk, and I loved it. Mind you, many of those guys pinged pretty loudly to me, and I wouldn't be surprised if they were your usual closeted bullies.

by GWMreply 4909/04/2013

Oddly, I am reading this thread while on hold with someone who just called me Ma'am not 30 seconds ago!

DA DA DUM

by GWMreply 5009/04/2013

Hang up on the bitch.

by GWMreply 5109/04/2013

Why do certain gays reject masculinity? Why must they femme-up to prove something? I find it annoying, ma'am.

by GWMreply 5209/04/2013

[quote]Why do certain gays reject masculinity? Why must they femme-up to prove something? I find it annoying, ma'am.

Maybe they're not trying to prove anything. Just being themselves.

by GWMreply 5309/04/2013

Why do some gay guys reject masculinity.....

Because it is ok to do so. Masculinity may suit some guys (and some women) but it's merely a construct. Possibly a place for those who feel threatened to retreat to. But not an obligation.

by GWMreply 5409/04/2013

You should have interrupted him to do price check on TAMPONS over the loud speaker and pointed at him.

by GWMreply 5509/04/2013
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