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Let's pretend we are SYRIAN farmwives growing chickpeas along the Euphrates River!

I'll start:

Wow, these chickpeas sure can grow!

by Anonymousreply 6510/31/2014

I'm the sarin gas. I came from either:

1) Asaad, 2) Al Qaeda, wanting the U.S. to strike so that we can fill the power vacuum after the regime is removed, or 3) incompetent rebels trying to move my cannister

You'll never know for sure which.

by Anonymousreply 109/03/2013

Do these chickpeas taste sarin-y to you?

by Anonymousreply 209/03/2013

I'm the MAC eyeliner worn under the black burqa!

by Anonymousreply 309/03/2013

I'm the average Syrian, who's going to hate Americans whether they 'liberate' me or not.

by Anonymousreply 409/03/2013

I'll be Cher on my 50th annual farewell tour.

Bomb me with sarin; see if I care. I'm still not moving my legs.

by Anonymousreply 509/03/2013

I am the sexy lingerie worn under the burka...and it sure does get musty and fishy in here....

by Anonymousreply 609/03/2013

I just love these new curtains I bought at Bed Baathist & Beyond, they cover up the mortar holes in the walls much better than those old Assad posters.

by Anonymousreply 709/03/2013

Does this burka make me look fat?

by Anonymousreply 809/03/2013

R8, of course not, it's lovely.

....snickers to friend " love the LL Bean label darling"

by Anonymousreply 909/03/2013

Oh, dear. The camel is on the fritz again, so Mohammed will be late for dinner. I hope the hummus mold holds up. Such a shame to throw it out after it took all day to pick the chickpeas out of the rubble.

by Anonymousreply 1009/03/2013

My boyfriend makes hummus with edamame instead of nasty old chick peas

by Anonymousreply 1109/03/2013

[quote] I'm the average Syrian, who's going to hate Americans whether they 'liberate' me or not.

Gee, after reading this thread it's hard to imagine why.

by Anonymousreply 1209/03/2013

Xenophobic, racist, misogynistic, or just plain stupid?

by Anonymousreply 1309/03/2013

Real Housewives of Damascus cast:

* White Burka (the ditzy prude)

* Green Burka (the goat-raising guru)

* Blue Burka (the closeted weapons-master)

* Black Burka (the scary religious fanatic)

* Red Burka (the slutty one)

Hosted by Andy Cohabibi-al-Salami

by Anonymousreply 1409/03/2013

R14, you're confusing them with Mighty Morphin' Tichel Power Rangers again.

Not one of these farmwives transforms into a triceratops - that's something Christian Jesus would ride.

by Anonymousreply 1509/03/2013

I'm the clitorectomy scar.

(Or is that some other seriously fucked-up part of the world?)

by Anonymousreply 1609/03/2013

I'm the U.S. drone, standing by. If I'm put into use, I might launch a missile against our target who lives next door to you. Of course, my missiles take out whole blocks, so that means your house will get blown up too. You'll be at the market, but your husband and kids will be home at the time. Sorry about that, my bad.

by Anonymousreply 1709/03/2013

I'm a beekeeper, why are all these men telling me to go home and cook?

by Anonymousreply 1809/03/2013

I think you got the wrong country for drone attacks, r17. Your "point" might be more effective if you actually knew where you were talking about.

by Anonymousreply 1909/03/2013

I'm the housewife jumping up and down at 1 PM because I have to take a dump. I can't since Mohammed stated that women can only relieve themselves after dark.

by Anonymousreply 2009/03/2013

You're an ignoranus, R20. Dark at [bold]1 PM[/bold]?

by Anonymousreply 2109/03/2013

Go back and read r20 again, ignoramus at r21.

by Anonymousreply 2209/03/2013

Read it again s-l-o-w-l-y R21.

by Anonymousreply 2309/03/2013

Sabirah, I have suspicions about Amhazat. I think it's possible she still has her clitoris and is servicing my husband. Pass the pomegranate wine, will you?

by Anonymousreply 2409/03/2013

Oh stfu. I did reread. Just because this is taking place in the Middle East doesn't make it dark at 1 PM.


by Anonymousreply 2509/03/2013

No, you didn't re-read it, or you have serious reading comprehension issues.

by Anonymousreply 2609/03/2013

And learn how to spell, Mr. Smarty Pants R23. You make yourself sound assanine.

by Anonymousreply 2709/03/2013

Wait R22 is the bad speller. My mistake.

by Anonymousreply 2809/03/2013

You idiot, r21. She's jumping up and down because she's not allowed to go to the bathroom till it's dark, and it's 1pm now - so she's still got four or five hours to wait before she can use the potty, which is WHY she's antsy.

Are you really that stupid?

by Anonymousreply 2909/03/2013

R21 has single-handedly destroyed the thread. Go drink your arsenic, r21, and then it's time for you to go dance on the freeway.

by Anonymousreply 3009/03/2013

R21 - R25, did you learn English as a second language?

by Anonymousreply 3109/03/2013

[quote]I'm the MAC eyeliner worn under the black burqa!

Syria is a secular country, you buffoon. It's not run by the Taliban.

But no doubt it will be once we fuck with it.

by Anonymousreply 3209/03/2013

That's rediculous R29. Just because her husband says she can't take a dump at 1 PM doesn't mean she'd start jumping up and down. You're all idiots. And it's STILL NOT DARK AT 1 PM!!

by Anonymousreply 3309/03/2013

I'm the OP, attempting to dine-out on the long past success of others because I'm void of even the slightest amount of creativity.

by Anonymousreply 3409/03/2013

is this the kind of humour people have before a tragedy?

by Anonymousreply 3509/03/2013

That son of mine! Massive harlot hound! Big Asaad supporter!

by Anonymousreply 3609/03/2013

نجاح باهر ! تلك الحمص متأكد يمكن أن تنمو !

by Anonymousreply 3709/03/2013

Housam's massive member pains me so- I don't mind if he goes to the brothel!

by Anonymousreply 3809/03/2013


Jesus---am I the only creative one left on DL?

by Anonymousreply 3909/03/2013

R37, the exclamation marks are on the wrong side.

by Anonymousreply 4009/03/2013

Please clearly label ALL foods containing chickpeas before bringing them to school. My daughter Kaylia is severely allergic to chickpeas.

by Anonymousreply 4109/03/2013

[quote]And it's STILL NOT DARK AT 1 PM!!

Yes exactly, you knucklehead. That was the point of that stupid post.

by Anonymousreply 4209/03/2013

Does my keening while harvesting chickpeas along the Euphrates River make me look fat?

by Anonymousreply 4309/03/2013

I'm the Western media, following the script so the Saudis get their Med pipeline.

by Anonymousreply 4409/03/2013

I'm going to hell for laughing at this tread.

by Anonymousreply 4509/03/2013

"I'm the neocon Obama apologist who still insists that he's not a warmongering republican at heart! Making me the stupidest person alive!"

by Anonymousreply 4609/03/2013

I'm the equally hairy legs on the women and the men!

by Anonymousreply 4709/03/2013

Where does Asma buy her clothes? They're so chic.

by Anonymousreply 4809/03/2013

Is that David Burtka in that burka over there?

by Anonymousreply 4909/03/2013

Dear Abhi, I just found out my brother, Yussef, likes to pleasure men. What should I do?

by Anonymousreply 5009/03/2013

Syria = premenstrual Siri

by Anonymousreply 5109/03/2013

You're a fucking idiot, R21.

by Anonymousreply 5209/03/2013

Btw, is R20's post for real? Do the women really have to hold it in all fucking day?

by Anonymousreply 5309/03/2013

Keep growing those chickpeas. Bill O'Reilly goes through a lot of falafels.

by Anonymousreply 5409/03/2013

Hey Mohammed! Watch how many chickpeas I can stuff up my ass! You hungry?

by Anonymousreply 5509/03/2013

What is this 'dancing boy' my husband is bringing home? Why do I need to prepare the guest bedroom?

by Anonymousreply 5609/04/2013

Dear Nasty Pig,

Last month I ordered via your website the Takedown Jock (Red), Takedown Jock (Black), and 2 sets of Playsheets (Black, King Size), and so far I have received nothing!

Is this what you sales bottoms call 'service'?

I will have you know I am not to be trifled with!

Asma al-Assad (Mrs)

by Anonymousreply 5709/04/2013

It's ok r17, you're not the only one who is completely clueless about which country you're talking about. All those who think they're being funny about dancing boys are too oblivious to understand that there's a huge difference between the cultures and societies of Afghanistan and Syria. They're all Muslims after all, they must all be exactly the same.

by Anonymousreply 5809/04/2013

I'm the Syrian Sun which sets at 12:55 PM.

by Anonymousreply 5909/05/2013

(Or is that some other seriously fucked-up part of the world?)

yes, at least get your cultures right, cunty.

by Anonymousreply 6009/05/2013

R54 W&W!

by Anonymousreply 6109/05/2013

[quote]Syria is a secular country, you buffoon. It's not run by the Taliban.

And it has always had a huge Christian population, who are bearing the brunt of the attacks by the Islamist rebels.

Sorry your thread was ruined, OP. It was a good idea.

by Anonymousreply 6209/05/2013

Assad is a piece os hit, but I guess I'll get gassed by someone sometime.

by Anonymousreply 6309/05/2013

I am a Syrian housewife living in the desert.It's very convenient.It's just half a days tank drive to the nearest war!

by Anonymousreply 6410/31/2014

I'm an Is raeli tourist. I'm tired of my mother calling me every night and worried I'll be blown up. As if my going home would alleviate that concern.

by Anonymousreply 6510/31/2014
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