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Is It Racist For Me.....

To only be attracted to light skinned or mulatto African American males? I find actors like Jesse Williams and Shemar Moore gorgeous, but not dark skinned African American males like Idris Elba or Dijomon Honsuo.

I think dark skinned women like Naomi Campbell and Gabrielle Union are gorgeous though. I would have sex with a dark skinned woman, but I don't find any dark skinned African American men that attractive. My friends say that makes me a racist, but I don't think so because it is a sexual and relationship attraction, not anything else. I can befriend anyone, but when it comes to men I just don't see the attraction in dark skinned African American males.

by Anonymousreply 7409/29/2013

No, it does not.

by Anonymousreply 108/31/2013

OP, what you've stated isn't racist because you haven't grouped all black men into one big group or said something stupid like, "I'm not into black guys".

Basically, you're not dismissing an entire race of men as undesirable. You are stating that you prefer a specific type.

You're fine, carry forth and I hope Jesse Williams and Shemar Moore DP you hard.

by Anonymousreply 208/31/2013

I think your narcissism is a larger issue than your racism.

But neither is good.

by Anonymousreply 308/31/2013

Are you black yourself OP?

by Anonymousreply 408/31/2013

no, your not racist you have a preference

by Anonymousreply 508/31/2013

[quote]African American males like Idris Elba

News to me.

by Anonymousreply 608/31/2013

I don't know. If you don't think Idris Elba is attractive, I think you may have a problem.

by Anonymousreply 708/31/2013

Yes, of course it's racist. Any awareness or mention of race at all is racist.

by Anonymousreply 808/31/2013

Nothing and no one on Datalounge is racist. Obviously.

by Anonymousreply 908/31/2013

LOL r6

by Anonymousreply 1008/31/2013

Racist was I before I saw Idris Elba.

by Anonymousreply 1108/31/2013

Racism! Racism!

by Anonymousreply 1208/31/2013

Zzzzzzz. These threads have become woefully common...and more than a bit boring.

by Anonymousreply 1308/31/2013

No it is not racist of you. But you will attract racists to this thread. Is that your intention? Racism has little to do with who you picture yourself fucking. Look a little deeper.

My partner is black and close to ebony in colour. Gorgeous to me, and undeniably sexy to all but the blind something or other. I will spare you our conversations and jokes. But when opening your mind, try to distinguish between a fetish, a lack of attraction and racism.

Black people in western culture have spoken many times about how lighter skin is considered more acceptable, even within their own race. It is not right, but it's true. It can be superficial, but most often not. Part of the problem. You echo the sentiment, but your reasons are different. Be attracted to whoever you want. Don't expect reciprocation.

I am Italian. Olive skinned and in my case with full lips, handsome face, hunky body, thick muscle ass and big dick. To say everyone is desiring me is not true, but many do.

I am not American. There is no taboo about race to me. I have been attracted to Asian, Middle Eastern, Latino, Black and White men. (lots of women too) But I am married to a dark black man born in the Islands, raised in NYC, bred and loved by me for 10 years. We are both a bit cocky. We fight the boys off in different styles. We are in LOVE. Desire.

My Italian grandmother used to comment that Diahann Carrol was very pretty for a black woman!

You are basically saying the same thing OP. You can only see so far, but you are not racist, so far...

by Anonymousreply 1408/31/2013

R4 No. I'm Caucasian. I don't see Idris Elba as attractive. I've tried and tired and just don't see anything remotely attractive about him. Idris next to Henry Cavill or Matt Bomer or Jesse Williams he just can't compete in my opinion.

by Anonymousreply 1508/31/2013

Are white gay men the next recruitment target for the Nazi/white Supremacist movement? There are so many truly base, race-baiting discussions here at DL i cant believe that they spring from the minds of gay men. Has DL been infilitrated by right-wing racial separatists? Or are there really gay men so clueless that they think the rest of us care who invades their hole?


by Anonymousreply 1608/31/2013

Thanks R14 no I wasn't trying to attract racist to this thread. I seriously wanted to know whether it was considered racist of me to not find darker skinned African American males attractive. That's great that you found love and happiness. I will admit I have said "for a dark skinned African American man .... is decent looking", but I absolutly love dark skinned Puerto Ricans, Cubans, Italians, Filipino's, Cambodians etc...

However, I've come across dark skinned African American men mixed with Native American Indian that are very attractive to me. Their hair and physical face structure is stunning. But an everyday dark skinned African American male doesn't get me fancy unless he has a unique features like light eyes, straight or mulatto curly natural hair etc...

by Anonymousreply 1708/31/2013

R17 "Mulatto"? Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah, you're racist.

I also have a feeling you're a 21 year old white female with an eating disorder and Daddy issues.

by Anonymousreply 1808/31/2013

Don't be silly, R18. Everyone knows that it's the fat white chicks that black guys like, not the thin ones with eating disorders.

by Anonymousreply 1908/31/2013

I meant binge eating disorder, R19.

by Anonymousreply 2008/31/2013

LOL, R18. That term is a dead giveaway for nefarious intent. No one under the age of 88 would identify as a 'mulatto.'

by Anonymousreply 2108/31/2013

What about white men, such as Robert DeNiro having a preference for black women? Would that be considered racist or is he simply just attracted to a type? Both his wives have been African Americans.

by Anonymousreply 2208/31/2013

I've always wondered when I've seen this argument play out on here over and over, is it the same people and they don't get tired of it? Or is it different people who somehow never saw it before?

by Anonymousreply 2308/31/2013


You should quit while you have made your obvious points, and before this becomes a nasty thread. You have too many specifics to not sound racist. Write your laundry list of ethnic desires and deal breakers in your diary.

You don't get to cherry pick human being's features. Be attracted to whomever you want, but the dissection and discussion of it IS racist and narcissitic. You should stop.

Are you attracted to all white people? This is a rhetorical question OP. Some people only fuck blonds, some like midgets, some would leave a man if he shaved his chest, or a woman who gained 20 lbs. You are sounding very superficial and silly. Kiss a frog.

Don't make me sorry I responded to you.


by Anonymousreply 2408/31/2013

You sound like a very superficial person, OP. I doubt you will have to worry about much beyond a first date.

Maybe get some therapy for your narcissistic tendencies, though. You sound really insecure and obsessed with yourself.

by Anonymousreply 2508/31/2013

Skin tone in black people is somewhat similar to hair color in white people. For example, there are people not attracted to red heads. For women, I've noticed lighter women are considered hotter across the races: white male celebrities all seem to have a blonde trophy wife the same as every black NBA star seems to have a light-skinned woman on his arm. I, personally, find dark-skinned black men the most attractive men on earth.

by Anonymousreply 2608/31/2013

Again, it's a fine line between preference and fetish, but men with dark skin are fucking beautiful. And not just because they don't see their first wrinkles until well into their sixties.

by Anonymousreply 2708/31/2013

"Skin tone in black people is somewhat similar to hair color in white people."

What the fuck are you talking about, R26? Please die in a grease fire.

by Anonymousreply 2808/31/2013

Are dark skinned black men supposed to cry in their beer because white guys find them unattractive? Please. Some people think entirely too much of themselves.

by Anonymousreply 2908/31/2013

Random regular dark guy on the street. Hot.

by Anonymousreply 3008/31/2013

R21, I'm not R18.....but I've identified as mulatto for years (I'm 33, live in Toronto).

Terms like biracial, mixed, etc don't work for me, as they could mean I'm mexican-japanese or native-pakistani. Mulatto specifically denotes black and white heritage, and I'm happy with that.

by Anonymousreply 3108/31/2013

Thank you R30. He's gorgeous and so is Idris Elba.

by Anonymousreply 3208/31/2013

Some here don't understand racism. It is not narcissistic to wonder what to make of one's attraction (over which, presumably, one has no control).

In terms of attraction, you should be focusing on WHY you do and don't like particular features. Do you associate personality characteristics with skin color or race? That would indeed be racist.

Why don't you like specific things (answer within yourself - we don't need the specifics)? We all like different things, and along the way, some of us get surprised and find ourselves attracted to someone outside of our type. What's behind attraction is difficult to define.

So long as we're being honest with ourselves and our attraction is not based on "they are a better/worse person because of their innate features", I think we're good. Be attracted to whoever you are. You do not need to be attracted to Idris Elba. I am attracted to him. We get to be different.

by Anonymousreply 3308/31/2013

OP, the question on everyone's mind is: Do the lighter skinned men still smell like crayons?

by Anonymousreply 3408/31/2013


Did you read my posts at r14 and r24?

You have added nothing new. OP has proven himself to be silly and narcissist in his response at r17, and eugenically racist too.

I don't think he knowingly meant any harm, but he opened your can of worminess. Who are you to say "We're good." He has been given your absolution. Maybe you can't comprehend the meaning of narcissist, for obvious reasons.

He called on the racists and they are coming. If he wanted to say what black men he finds hot or sexy there are other threads for that.

DL is the most racist site because it is permitted. If you read my posts you will see that I don't look for it everywhere. But invite them and they will come. OP should apologize to every black man who will now be discussed and dissected on this thread in ways that WILL be racist.

R33 is a limousine liberal = hopeless.

by Anonymousreply 3508/31/2013

R35 ! Let's calm down now and come out to my porch overlooking the lake and settle into some delicious Sanka decaffeinated coffee.

Inhale that first cool air of September and put all of that hot and angry summer behind you.

The moon may not be full...but I have a full cup of Sanka decaffeinated coffee for you and some some delicious Drake's coffee cake to share.

The world is infinitely good. People like you and life goes on. You and I will rock on the porch swing, enjoy our delicious Sanka decaffeinated coffee and count the falling stars together.


by Anonymousreply 3609/01/2013

Damn, r14. You're exactly my type. In looks and outlook. Too bad you're happily partnered. Kidding. I'm happy for you and your partner. It sounds like you have an amazing connection. (Besides, I'm already hung up on a handsome Italian man.)

What you wrote is so spot-on. I'm a bi woman and attracted to people with all kinds of different bodies and looks. I simply can't imagine being confined to one type. Carry on. You've done a great job of explaining the issues and ramifications.

by Anonymousreply 3709/01/2013

Im in love with this guy from the Hot Black Men thread. Is he what would be considered dark skinned?

by Anonymousreply 3809/01/2013

Lady GaGa is the queen of pop!

by Anonymousreply 3909/01/2013

R38, he's very hot, but he's more like caramel colored.

by Anonymousreply 4009/01/2013

I am not sure how it works, but thanks for censoring some things webmaster/mistress. I was going to regret that.

by Anonymousreply 4109/01/2013

I prefer extra special dark chocolate myself, the milk chocolate isn't my thing.

by Anonymousreply 4209/01/2013

[quote]To only be attracted to light skinned or mulatto African American males?


by Anonymousreply 4309/01/2013

Still waiting for the correction that I'm actually British...

by Anonymousreply 4409/01/2013

Idris Elba is West African, originally from Sierra Leone.

by Anonymousreply 4509/01/2013

First of all, you've gotta be well over 50, because NOBODY under that age says "mulatto." No black guys of ANY hue are gonna be giving you the time of day, gramps, so I wouldn't spend too much time worrying about not being attracted to something you're never gonna get anyways.

You fucking WISH an Idris Elba or Djimon Hounsou type would even look twice.

by Anonymousreply 4609/01/2013

All it means is that you have a preference, and that is that. I'm not attracted to really pasty-skinned white guys or Asian men. I don't think I'm better than either; they just don't give me erections, that's all.

by Anonymousreply 4709/01/2013

Well if it makes people feel better I find Blair Underwood attractive. For a dark skinned man he is sexy.

by Anonymousreply 4809/01/2013

"For a dark skinned man"?????

Fuck you, racist.

by Anonymousreply 4909/01/2013

[quote]I don't know. If you don't think Idris Elba is attractive, I think you may have a problem.

R7, you missed the point of R6. He's not African-American because he's not American at all.

by Anonymousreply 5009/01/2013

I wanna have sex with a big, black guy.

by Anonymousreply 5109/01/2013

Travelling the NYC subway you see some BEAUTIFUL darkskinned women.

Like literally headturners. With gorgeous upper arms in a sleeveless blouse and silky-looking dark skin.

by Anonymousreply 5209/01/2013

OP to each his own

by Anonymousreply 5309/01/2013

R52 I love dark skinned WOMEN, but dark skinned men like 50 Cent, Floyd Mayweather, Dwayne Wade, Dijomon Hinsou, Idris Elba I don't see them as attractive AT ALL. I'm more of a Matt Bomer, Zac Efron, Colton Haynes, Jesse Williams, Marcus Patrick and William Levy kind of guy. But Naomi Campbell, Kenya Moore, Gabrielle Union, Jessica White, and Tika Sumpter are STUNNING!

by Anonymousreply 5409/01/2013

r54, you don't even want to have sex with women, so your appreciation of dark skinned women is a moot point.

My guess is that mainstream gay porn has warped your sense of what is or is not attractive in men. The same hasn't been done for your attitude towards women because you don't seek out pussy porn.

by Anonymousreply 5509/01/2013

It's just a preference. If you said you didn't find very pale people attractive, nobody would accuse you of being a racist.

by Anonymousreply 5609/01/2013

I am 40 years old and biracial, and I would never dream of calling myself 'mulatto'. It is a derogatory term, which was used by slave owners. 'Biracial' does usually require further explanation with Caucasian people. Because I have green eyes and light hair, they think that I am mixed with something else. Black people usually correctly assume that I am black and white when I say that I am biracial.

by Anonymousreply 5709/01/2013

The only black guy to whom I've ever been sexually attracted is the singer Prince.

by Anonymousreply 5809/01/2013

R46 and R57, I'm cool with being called mulatto. Lots of words were used by slave owners, but "mulatto" existed before slavery and has its roots in latin.

I'm 24, also from Toronto like R31. I'm dating a brazilian guy who is also mulatto and it's his preferred terminology. Maybe opposition to the word is an American thing?

by Anonymousreply 5909/01/2013

[quote]Idris Elba is West African, originally from Sierra Leone.

Idris Elba was born and raised in the United Kingdom. He is British. His parents come from Sierra Leone and Ghana.

And thank your R6 for being the first to point out the OP was an idiot for referring him as an African American. African American is not some catch all term for black people OP.

by Anonymousreply 6009/01/2013

R54 A dark skinned woman would arouse me before a dark skinned man. R60 Regardless if Idris is African, African British, or African American the fact still remains I do NOT find him the least bit attractive and I've met him before at a movie release event my female model friend invited me too. He loves white women and asked me was my female model friend my girlfriend and I brushed him off and said no. At that time I didnt know he was Idris and when I told my friend and pointed at the dark skinned guy. She said lol you don't know who that is? And I said no, she was like Idris Elba. And she said a lot of women and men go crazy over him. And I pointed and said that guy? And she said yes. Then they called him to the stage and I was stunned there was nothing remotely sexy about him other then his height. He looked older in person and had grey hairs. Not my type I can't help what I like guys! *shrugs* I wish it could have been Zac Efron or Colton Haynes at that event I met instead of Idris. My female friend is getting me tickets to Comic Con NY so I will keep you all posted if I run into Colton Haynes. I pray I do lol

by Anonymousreply 6109/01/2013

Maybe it's like preferring guys with a tan over guys with freckles?

by Anonymousreply 6209/01/2013

[quote]I've always wondered when I've seen this argument play out on here over and over, is it the same people and they don't get tired of it? Or is it different people who somehow never saw it before?

This argument repeats because race threads are never allowed to reach a natural conclusion before some shithead posts something really incendiary and over the top racist. You can have a nice civil discussion going and boom, someone just drops something racist and the thread is derailed and you can't get the civil discussion back on track.

I remember when I first started posting here, back in the late 90s there was thread about something like Black people what don't you understand about white people and white people what don't you understand about black people. It was a great thread, that was interesting reading. And that was in the days when this was an open forum where everybody could post.

by Anonymousreply 6309/01/2013

No, OP, you're not racist. Everyone seems drawn to a specific type. I prefer hairy, stocky brunette men, for example. Preferably Italian / Mediterranean looking. Other men may prefer smooth, pale blonds. Some like skinny guys, some like chubbies. Some like dark brown skin, others like pale white skin.

by Anonymousreply 6409/01/2013

I have an African American female friend who dated a blonde Caucasian. She didn't like the way his penis looked (white) so she made him tan it at the salon. I thought it was pretty funny, and couldn't look at him without thinking of his tan penis.

by Anonymousreply 6509/01/2013

r65, some black friends of mine (I am black) who refuse to date white men (I date all kinds) have said explicitly that white dicks remind them of raw meat.

It's weird and a little funny that they'd think that way.

by Anonymousreply 6609/02/2013

OP, I suspect that your "issue" is more with the shame of facial features than skin tone. I suspect that you would find a dark skinned African American (or African) with certain face bone structure attractive regardless of his skin tone. After all it's not like men from various African countries all look alike. There are big differences when it comes to facial features and skin colour and some nationalities with darker skin have very different facial bone structure than nationalities with lighter skin. So maybe you just prefer the typical facial features of light skinner African/African American.

Or your just like lighter dark skin, why the hell not? Whom we are being attracted to is often just a matter of taste. Many white people are only attracted to black women or latinas? Does that make them racist?

by Anonymousreply 6709/02/2013

OP, the majority of America will deem you racist for such behavior. That's been the consensus. People have used the "red hair preference" type argument for years, and it just doesn't hold up.

by Anonymousreply 6809/02/2013

I don't like Eastern European men at all - and that is mainly because of the hygiene thing.

by Anonymousreply 6909/02/2013

R68 No, people will only call someone racist when he/she doesn't like darker skin on certain ethnicities, not if that person only likes dark skin or only latinas or asians.

by Anonymousreply 7009/02/2013

OP is a racist.

OP is fearful of being labelled a racist because it disrupts his/her hypervigilant self-image.

OP wants superficial reassurance because he/she does not actually want to look at his/her own deeply ingrained prejudices and sense of entitlement.

OP is also a narcissist.

by Anonymousreply 7109/02/2013

Thank you R67 I think you might be right. I love Naomi Campbell's bone structure and Jessica White's skinetone. And this dark skinned actress name Lanisha Cole is facially gorgeous to me. When I met Idris it was his nose shape that threw me off. I like sharp unique facial features like Matt Bomers face and majority of dark skinned men don't have that.

by Anonymousreply 7209/02/2013

Why would this be considered racist, but when someone like a Kim Karadashian were so say she's not attracted to pink peen it would be bypassed?

by Anonymousreply 7309/29/2013

Racist? Its called."Colorism" or being "Color-Struck". Finding the lighter complected Black more attractive. That's why you will see Darker-skinned black females with lighter skinned females & vice versa. Has much to do with history, slavery and attractiveness. There are some deep issues that some dark skinned people have. The most desirable are the light-skinned long hair with White features.

As far as OP its just your preference.

by Anonymousreply 7409/29/2013
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