Serving up this steaming pile of
Celebrity Gossip
Gay Politics
Gay News
and Pointless Bitchery
Since 1995

Things I can't do

I can't:


Drive a car

Wrap a present

Dance (as people would in a club)

I'm not completely helpless, and I'm fairly successful in my profession. Does anyone else have random tasks they can't perform?

by Anonymousreply 5409/02/2013

Are you Asian?

by Anonymousreply 108/26/2013

Are you a paraplegic?

by Anonymousreply 208/26/2013

Is OP Roger Octopus?

by Anonymousreply 308/26/2013

I think it's Stephen Hawking.

by Anonymousreply 408/26/2013

I bet you know how to make Meth, don't you OP?

by Anonymousreply 508/26/2013

I can't swim either, OP. Yet I love to be by the water. I enjoy a nice boat ride from time to time as well.

Not a very good dancer. Scratch that. Can't dance.

Can't repair shit. Can't even change a fuse without someone showing me how.

by Anonymousreply 608/26/2013

"Dance (as people would in a club)"

As compared to this.

by Anonymousreply 708/26/2013

Swim Dance Talk to strangers Enjoy large parties/gatherings Find a job Eat less Make it to the gym Care about keeping a really clean apt.

by Anonymousreply 808/26/2013

R7 Thanks. Best music video ever.

by Anonymousreply 908/26/2013

Speak another language

Play an instrument

Drive a stick shift vehicle

Draw a horse

by Anonymousreply 1008/26/2013

Watch out for that tree!

by Anonymousreply 1108/26/2013

I can't post a link, download a picture for my twitter and tumblr accounts, play a musical instrument (unless pounding on a drum at Michfest counts) run a mile, parallel park, tolerate extreme heat, speak a foreign language, draw, tolerate loud people, find a neighborhood in New York City that isn't one year away from gentrification, vote for Christine Quinn.

by Anonymousreply 1208/26/2013

OP, you sound like Aunt Bee.

by Anonymousreply 1308/26/2013

Be Batman

by Anonymousreply 1408/26/2013

Who are these idiots who can't swim?

by Anonymousreply 1508/26/2013

Let go.

by Anonymousreply 1608/27/2013

Say goodnight.

by Anonymousreply 1708/27/2013

Make you love me.

by Anonymousreply 1808/27/2013

Can you bake a pie?

by Anonymousreply 1908/27/2013

I don't swim, drive or dance either.

by Anonymousreply 2008/27/2013

The OP used to ride the little school bus to class.

by Anonymousreply 2108/27/2013

OP: Are you "Elaine Benes" bad at dancing? I can't read a map, the kind you use when you drive, have absolutely NO sense of direction.Yes, I have a GPS in the car, the magic of that eludes me too. If I was with Columbus, the Native Americans would still own everything. Can't cut and paste(do they still call it that?), nor post a link. Wanna' guess my age?

by Anonymousreply 2208/27/2013

Can't dance without drawing stares from others.

Can't carry a tune in a bucket.

Won't ride a horse.

But I can bake any kind of cake, cookie or pie, and even make some pretty good candy.

I can fix anything that is broken in a house, though that doesn't go for things broken in home.

No one can do everything well.

by Anonymousreply 2308/27/2013

This summer I became frustrated that I can't do a flip off of a diving boards. I'm a very good swimmer though.

I can't do a simple time step but am a good dancer including tap, ballet, and jazz.

by Anonymousreply 2408/27/2013

r23 You weren't born in Philadelphia 62years ago, were ya'? If so, meet your twin.

by Anonymousreply 2508/27/2013

If you're tired of constant PrimeTime, having to pay to post, threads getting deleted for no reason, and whimsical banning, click below.

Our WM isn't a stupid nazi cow, and we might one day have again what DL used to be.

by Anonymousreply 2608/27/2013

No matter how I try, I can't get the hang of butchering a whole beef carcass down into joints and cuts of meat.

Real problems with the helicopter pilot's licence, too.

by Anonymousreply 2708/27/2013

I also can't stop humblebragging

by Anonymousreply 2808/27/2013

I can't be bothered with this thread

by Anonymousreply 2908/27/2013

Cook, have casual sex, eat mayonnaise.

by Anonymousreply 3008/27/2013


Roller or ice skate

Get a partner

by Anonymousreply 3108/27/2013

I knew a lesbian who was a PhD in English Literature and a college professor, but she couldn't do zippers (she had to step into her winter coat like a pair of pants with it partially zipped, and if it unzipped, she had to have it rezipped for her).

Funniest thing I ever saw was this tiny old woman stepping into a parka.

by Anonymousreply 3208/27/2013

Ever hurt anyone with any of my actions in this incarnation on Earth.

by Anonymousreply 3308/27/2013


by Anonymousreply 3408/27/2013

Ha, "humblebragging". Love this.

by Anonymousreply 3508/27/2013


by Anonymousreply 3608/27/2013

I can't fuck. I cum almost immediately as soon as I even begin to enter the guy's hole. So fucking isn't worthwhile to me nor is it satisfying to the bottom who wants a dick in his ass.

I have more cum control if a guy is sucking my dick. But I can't fuck. I don't care about it and I don't miss it, but I have often wondered how some guys can pump away fucking forever and I can't last at all.

by Anonymousreply 3708/27/2013

Uncross my eyes.

by Anonymousreply 3808/28/2013

Do a cryptic crossword

Long division (I have forgotten so much of the math and pretty much all the second language I learnt at school)

Put on makeup properly

Text with any accuracy or speed

Get over my bulimia

Say the letter 'L' without focussing and making sure my tongue is behind my teeth

Snap my fingers

by Anonymousreply 3908/28/2013

Jump high, do a pull up from hanging, algebra, whistle for a cab.

by Anonymousreply 4008/28/2013

Make crème brulee in a caftan.

by Anonymousreply 4108/28/2013

I can't swim or drive a car.

While I sometimes would like to swim, it is a choice not to drive. I hate cars.

by Anonymousreply 4208/28/2013

Find a bride willing to wear a sexy muzzy bee-keeper suit.

by Anonymousreply 4308/28/2013

eat mayonnaise

by Anonymousreply 4409/01/2013

Eat mayo, mustard, or pickles.

Speak to a group or be called on without blushing.

Dance. So self aware - unless I'm blasted drunk...

Drink without getting a hangover.

Find a job that I like doing, and like the people I work with.

by Anonymousreply 4509/01/2013

[quote]Swim Dance Talk to strangers Enjoy large parties/gatherings Find a job Ea

what language is this?

by Anonymousreply 4609/01/2013

Ride a bike

Estimate distances

by Anonymousreply 4709/01/2013

I can't:

Perform auto-fellatio

See spending $18 on this

Remember last Tuesday

Cook a proper cassoulet, with duck

by Anonymousreply 4809/01/2013

Cartwheels, handstands or backflips. Anything that requires a modicum of coordination I can handily screw up with aplomb.

by Anonymousreply 4909/01/2013


by Anonymousreply 5009/01/2013

Get 100% acceptance from the society.

by Anonymousreply 5109/01/2013

Can't dance or wrap a present, and not unduly worried about learning either.

by Anonymousreply 5209/01/2013

I can't play trombone

by Anonymousreply 5309/01/2013

I can't post on this site 75% of the time.

by Anonymousreply 5409/02/2013
Need more help? Click Here.

Follow theDL catch up on what you missed

recent threads by topic delivered to your email

follow popular threads on twitter

follow us on facebook

Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!