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I've decided I will sleep with you even if you are fat.

Shall we begin?

I expect excellent hygiene and a kind face. There are no other criteria.

by Anonymousreply 1608/19/2013

Maybe WE have "criteria."

by Anonymousreply 108/18/2013

Nah, I'm good.

by Anonymousreply 208/18/2013

Wow I've never turned someone down for their looks and I'm over 50. You've had a very narrow field up to now, haven't you?

by Anonymousreply 308/18/2013

But I'm glad. Do you know how many thousands I would have to spend fixing my teethb?

by Anonymousreply 408/18/2013

Also, I expect to paid in cash in advance. Leave it discretely on the night stand.

by Anonymousreply 508/18/2013

R3, seriously?

by Anonymousreply 608/18/2013

Oh FANK you, OP!

by Anonymousreply 708/18/2013

Seriously R6. Why would anyone? What are you saving it for? Jon-Eric is dead.

by Anonymousreply 808/18/2013

I can't imagine not turning someone down for their looks. There are certain people I am just not at all sexually attracted to, period, I wouldn't be able to get into it.

That is why I am kinda impressed by escorts, their ability to have sex with someone no matter how ugly/fat/old they are takes some skill.

by Anonymousreply 908/18/2013

good point, r9.

by Anonymousreply 1008/18/2013

Lets begin the beguine

by Anonymousreply 1108/18/2013

When you say "excellent hygiene," OP, (talking reality here) do you mean in all the crevices and folds? Including the ones you probably won't get into? Because it's impossible to get into all of them routinely, and I don't have the money to hire the personal care assistant to scrub up in all of them just to show off or be symbolic.

Also, you'll come over here, right? Because I don't get out much. I'll have my mom leave the door unlocked - I'll tell her a friend is coming over - and you can just come in. I'll be waiting in the bedroom down the hall on the right.

I hope you don't mind a little cat-litter smell. I can't clean the boxes up myself and Mom has been refusing to do it more than once every couple weeks. Oh, when you come in close the door fast because a couple of them like to get out.

And can you bring something to eat? Just some chicken and sides and maybe some ice cream and some cookies and a pie for later on? I like ribs, too, if you're going by a place and it's convenient. Or just some burgers if the ribs are a problem. With the chicken, I mean.

And I do hope you're in shape and masculine. That's my type.

by Anonymousreply 1208/18/2013

R11, I think OP wants to begin the hygiene.

by Anonymousreply 1308/18/2013

I was told on a date that I had no personality and there wouldn't be a second date, BUT we could have sex since I looked good enough for that. I looked at the gorgeous guy who had just uttered those awful words and said OK. After a few hours of unbelievable sex, he recanted and said something along the lines that he was antisocial and that we should definitely go out again. I left that night happy, but never called the guy again. Usually people like that are only good for a night...

by Anonymousreply 1408/18/2013

r14, I believe you and also find your date surreal. How could someone be so crass? Was the guy loving during sex?

by Anonymousreply 1508/19/2013

Yes I would say he was reciprocating in the intimate emotional aspect of the sex. Lol. Crazy right?

by Anonymousreply 1608/19/2013
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