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Funny/cheesy lines from porn flicks

"I want you to park your fart box right on my soup cooler!" - Paul Morgan in The General's Son

"Ooh, lick my poo-say!" - unknown twink in a Lollipop Twinks video

"Put that wad in there, bitch!" - queen in a Suite 703 video

What are some of your favorites?

by BenZreply 5205/13/2015

"Fuck me like the trash I am!"

I forgot the title and the actor, but it said on a video in the 1990s. Does anyone remember it?

by BenZreply 108/15/2013

You like danger, dontcha?

by BenZreply 208/15/2013

Some straight pron from years ago, woman receiving oral sex looks down at the guy with a cigarette hanging out her mouth says " do you mind if i smoke while you eat".

by BenZreply 408/15/2013

"This is my bed and that's my parents' bed. This is where I sleep."

Kevin Williams to Mike Henson in "Big Guns"(?)

by BenZreply 508/15/2013

Be gentle baby, I'm still a virgin

" Pinga unleased"

by BenZreply 608/15/2013

Obligatory:

by BenZreply 708/15/2013

The scene R4 remembers is from the most famous porn film of all time, "Deep Throat." I'm surprised he or she didn't remember that.

More lines from that classic:

Linda Lovelace: "How would you like it if your balls were in your ears?"

Harry Reems: "That way...I could hear myself coming!"

Har-dee-har-har!

by BenZreply 808/15/2013

"Ben Z"= exhausting !

by BenZreply 908/15/2013

Johnny Hazzard in response to a masseur who told him that he used to be a big star in porn: "I am big, it's the porn that got small".

This was from a UK Naked Men scene.

by BenZreply 1008/15/2013

"No,no,no,not 51!!!"

by BenZreply 1108/15/2013

"Ohhh..I'm fixin' to cum!"

by BenZreply 1308/15/2013

Sam Abdul, playing the prince of some fictional country, after threatening a guy with a "gun" in his pants then revealing he didn't have a gun at all:

"My hand was wrapped around my royal penisssssssssss!"

by BenZreply 1408/15/2013

I love that Stryker film, R12! It was hot!

by BenZreply 1508/15/2013

I have an all-black porn from the 90s in which one of the tops refers to his partner's "light-skinneded butt" that never fails to crack me up. It totally takes me out of the scene!

by BenZreply 1608/15/2013

From some 80s porn, I have no idea what it means but it's still my favorite line:

Fuck me like I stole something!

by BenZreply 1708/15/2013

"You're the one that I want."

-John Travolta in Grease

by BenZreply 1808/15/2013

Pornos have lines?

by BenZreply 1908/15/2013

Another goodie from "Deep Throat":

Linda Lovelace: "It makes me feel tingly all over and then nothing...there should be bells ringing, dams bursting, bombs going off!"

by BenZreply 2008/16/2013

Saw some straight porn movie in a mainstream theater (midnight showing, college town) a few years ago...

The man and woman were in a storage closet. They were spies or something. He was fucking her from behind. He knew that she was an agent or something? There was a random bowl of soup on a shelf, and she asked him if he wanted some soup and then he smashed her face in the soup and fucked her while he drowned her.

It had John Holmes in it I think. It's not as violent as I made it sound. It was really campy and silly.

Anyway...

by BenZreply 2108/16/2013

The late great gay porn star, Jon Vincent, had the best lines. They sizzled:

"I'm gonna pop that back wall baby."

"This is no dream baby, this is happening."

"Let me go in deep. Here it comes baby. There it is. Doing damage baby, it's doing damage".

by BenZreply 2308/17/2013

Me so hor-nay

by BenZreply 2408/17/2013

"Santa, I always wanted to be a dentist. . .but whores are fine." -a nasally elf in "A Christmas Orgy" In the same video, courtesy of Ron Jeremy: "You're hung like a horse. A seahorse." Afterwards, the dialogue is interrupted by a porn.

by BenZreply 2510/04/2014

This is my first time.

by BenZreply 2610/04/2014

Back when I watched straight porn I rented one with Dennis Parker(Wade Nichols) in it. It was the cheapest, cheesiest thing ever made. The insertion shots and action closeups were obviously a different top than the full length shots. Maybe a different bottom. The topper was that all of the moaning and dialogue during the fucking was looped and was euphemism after euphemism about the sex. "Are you ready for my torpedo?" "Time to put the baby to bed!" It was a riot!

by BenZreply 2710/04/2014

One of my favourite strange porno lines - Hannah Harper after a double cum shot to the face says 'Wash away the sins of this world with your dick snot'...

by BenZreply 2805/12/2015

"I wish I could play the trumpet with my pussy!"

—from [italic]The Pussywillows,[/italic] a straight flick about an all-girl band

by BenZreply 2905/12/2015

R19 LOL

by BenZreply 3005/12/2015

"Suck that dick like the cheap hitch you are!"-Cory Adams in William Higgins "Cousins".

by BenZreply 3105/12/2015

Bitch! Goddamit!

by BenZreply 3205/12/2015

A porn actress referring to her pussy when a guy is going down on her: 'Yes, that's right kiss her'

by BenZreply 3305/12/2015

Oh no! Not the room!!

by BenZreply 3405/12/2015

Back in the 70s I made hundreds of loops and cheesy porn. One called "Don't let your meat loaf".

I remember one line where I came home and asked "what's for dinner?

" I got a fur burger for ya. Eat this"

Ah, good times.

by BenZreply 3505/12/2015

Yeh!

Yeah!

YEAH !!!!

by BenZreply 3605/12/2015

In this one straight porno DVD I had, there was a closeup shot of some girl rimming a guys ass and she looked up at the camera and said "It tastes like mint toothpaste!"

The late 80's porno, "The Nicole Stanton Story", caused a bit of a stir back when it came out, because one of the actresses called someone the N-word in it. But I believe they cut that out of any future re-releases of it on DVD.

The Wicked porno "Perfect Match" has a goofy moment where Barrett Blade is jacking off at the camera talking about how "mr. wiggles is gonna spit all over you..."

by BenZreply 3705/12/2015

"Service me!"

by BenZreply 3805/12/2015

Jeff Stryker and his line: Take it Take it Take it.

Over and over again. Made me giggle.

by BenZreply 3905/12/2015

"I missed your pretty little fuckhole in jail" is the only line I can remember from a pr0n.

by BenZreply 4005/12/2015

Linda Lovelace up on a kitchen table, legs spread and says to the guy: Mind if I smoke while you eat?

by BenZreply 4105/12/2015

That was Dolly Sharp who said that, R41.

by BenZreply 4205/12/2015

"Coach, it hurts"...

by BenZreply 4305/12/2015

"The Naughty Victorians" 1975 Our hero, preserving our young heroine's virginity eases her fear of him anally penetrating her by assuring her, "Think a moment Alice, larger things have come out, then what is about to go in!"

by BenZreply 4405/12/2015

I remember this blonde chick in a 3way who was barking orders in that whimpering I-Just-Can't-Get-Enough voice urgently telling the brunette chick to "Devour my pussy, devour it!!" like the brunette wasn't already terribly busy with the stud pounding her pussy into the floor. "Fuck her harder like she wants it!!". Brunette earned every cent of that 200 bucks.

by BenZreply 4505/12/2015

Linda Lovelace

by BenZreply 4605/12/2015

Saw a great bareback porn a while back where 4 guys fucked one in in various positions. At one point the bottom was getting double penetrated on a chair, but two other guys started messing around on the sofa. The bitchy bottom whined "why isn't there a dick in my mouth!" I never laughed so hard watching porn. I believe birthday was in the title.

by BenZreply 4705/12/2015

Not a line of dialogue, really, but one of the first gay aprons I ever saw was about a gay couple in NYC who had a bet on who could score the most dick during the day. One partner went to work where he would fuck his boss, the UPS guy etc.

The other partner stayed at home and decided he would have a pizza delivered and fuck the delivery boy. The first time he called, he got a delivery girl, I think, the next time he got an old man. In between the poor schmuck not getting a hot delivery boy the would show his partner at work fucking his brains out.

The final scene had an orthodox rabbi showing up at the door with a pizza box and the blue balled partner just took the pizza and tossed on to a tall pile of pizza boxes in the kitchen.

But of course he fucked his partners brains out when he came home from work!

by BenZreply 4805/12/2015

In the gay porn "Night Walk: A Bedtime Story", straight porn actor Jon Dough has a really bizarre cameo in it, where he's dressed like a conductor, but he's painted up black and white, looking like some sort of goth person - lip syncing some goofy spaced out melodramatic song made for the film. The movie as a whole is a train wreck of pretentiousness, but how they convinced him to be a part of it still baffles me.

by BenZreply 4905/13/2015

How many times a week do you eat out? uhhhhh...work out?

by BenZreply 5005/13/2015

From "Nevada Nymphos", a late 70s flick I watched when I was younger (my dad didn't hide it very well):

Hot brunette in a "boudoir" setting, with a serious mandingo coming towards her:

"Come, be my black ssssslave!"

Yikes.

by BenZreply 5105/13/2015

Decades ago, there was a cute gag with Marilyn Chambers (Ivory Snow model turned porn star) in the movie "Insatiable." While getting something out of her closet, she glanced at a big box of Ivory Snow sitting on the top shelf, then smirked and giggled a bit as she closed the door and walked away.

Can't remember if it was just any old Ivory Snow box or the one that actually had her picture on it.

by BenZreply 5205/13/2015
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