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Lesbians in Los Angeles

What is it like to be a smart (top notch education, at least) attractive (femme) lesbian in her late 20s in Los Angeles? Is the lesbian scene (sorry, I'm lame, can't think of a better word) mostly in Silverlake and Echo Park? What about WeHo? Will I be too far away from the social scene if I live in Venice or Santa Monica? Is it a small world (eg does everyone seem to know one another)? Are bisexuals accepted?

I'd ask these questions at LChat but they are only semi-literate.

by Anonymousreply 7308/04/2013

.

by Anonymousreply 107/28/2013

The only people that welcome bisexuals are other bisexuals. The only time I've seen the real life version of L Word lesbians was in Dinah Vegas.

by Anonymousreply 207/28/2013

Anything? Anyone? Hello?

So should a bisexual pretend to be a lesbian?

by Anonymousreply 307/28/2013

everyone hates bisexuals..........make up your mind already!

by Anonymousreply 407/28/2013

That's such bs. I think people are jealous of someone who is truly bi. I think the truly bi are amongst the rarest of people.

by Anonymousreply 507/28/2013

spoken like the narcissist that most bisexuals are...."you are just jealous!!!!"

by Anonymousreply 607/29/2013

So does anyone here actually live in LA? And have advice?

by Anonymousreply 707/29/2013

All lesbians know each other in LA. It is kind of a small town. It doesn't matter where you live since you can get from one part of town to another within 10 minutes even at rush hour. Bisexuals are celebrated as a rare bird and even get a small stipend from the city to spread their unique world view. Lesbians who get suspicious of bisexuals and refused to date them since they think they are neurotic borderlines who will eventually go back to men, are immediately deported to Mexico.

by Anonymousreply 807/29/2013

Wow, thanks for being so kind and helpful.

by Anonymousreply 907/29/2013

[quote] It doesn't matter where you live since you can get from one part of town to another within 10 minutes even at rush hour.

That's complete and total bullshit.

by Anonymousreply 1007/29/2013

In LA, you can't get to the fucking corner in 10 minutes.

by Anonymousreply 1107/29/2013

Obviously R8 was being snarky and sarcastic about everything in her post.

by Anonymousreply 1207/29/2013

[quote]Bisexuals are celebrated as a rare bird and even get a small stipend from the city to spread their unique world view.

LOL. That was kind of funny.

by Anonymousreply 1307/29/2013

Op, 32 yr. old L.A. lesbian here. If there's a lesbian "scene" specifically located in a part of the city, I'm not a part of it (and that's fine with me). Back when I was younger and didn't know any other gays socially, I would try to go to different events/clubs where other lesbians might congregate. Sometimes I'd go to a lesbian night at a club. The recurring thing was that everyone is in their own little clique already and weary of outsiders. If you're planning to move to LA, the best advice I can give you is to live as close to work as possible.

by Anonymousreply 1407/29/2013

R14, is it difficult to make friends in LA period (not just lesbian friends)? I'm moving there for work and the company I'll be working for is pretty small. It's in Santa Monica so that's where I'll be living. I have a few friends who live in LA but we aren't BFFs or anything. Is it going to be lonely? Has anyone ever used meetup.com successfully?

by Anonymousreply 1507/29/2013

When I moved to NY I didn't know hardly anyone, so I went to every networking event I could go to. That was a great way for me to meet new people, and I made a few friends.

OP, the first year in a new city is always a challenge, but you eventually settle in and meet people.

by Anonymousreply 1607/29/2013

Some lesbians prefer bisexual women as they are more femme and less insular. And if you can find yourself a gainfully employed husband or boyfriend, that will go easy on the lesbian's bank account as well.

Put it this way--your hotness will be greatly appreciated and she won't have to pay your bills.

by Anonymousreply 1707/29/2013

R15, I don't know about LA, but just approach women who seem athletic. There will be less risk for you, as even if these women are straight they have at least been hit on by other women at some point, and can deal with it more graciously.

by Anonymousreply 1807/29/2013

OP/R15, It'll probably be lonely while you get used to living in a new city, but the upside is that you can probably walk up to anyone who seems friendly and ask them questions under the pretense that you're new in town. "I'm new, can you recommend a good place to..." can be a great line for friendship or more.

by Anonymousreply 1907/29/2013

R17, the thought of someone paying my bills has never even crossed my mind. I went to a great college and am lucky enough to have been gainfully employed in low six figure jobs since (the first few years after graduating I didn't make six figures, but close). I really don't want to pay anyone else's bills either. I'd be okay with picking up the tab when we go out but otherwise it just seems weird unless we were to live together.

Is this something prevalent in the lesbian community-- women looking for a partner who out earns them?

It seems like being a lesbian in a big city you face some of the worst aspects of girl culture (eg, cliques). My straight friends aren't clique-y at all.

by Anonymousreply 2007/29/2013

Meet up is great! I even use meet up when I travel to different countries. Most recently Amsterdam and London. Super fun. I've met some great people. Gay and straight alike.

I'm a gay man, but don't see why it would be any different for a lesbian to enjoy the perks of meet up. I have made many great friends, and even dated a few guys I met through the meet ups.

Just make sure to chat when you're there - Be outgoing and fun. If you just show up and don't participate much, you'll look like a sad sack.

by Anonymousreply 2107/29/2013

Hi R20, this isn't necessarily a high earner issue--many women, straight, bi ,gay--are teetering on economic collapse. It really scary out there.

Taking on a girlfriend's economic struggle is, from what I've heard, a constant issue with lesbians. Rescuing a girlfriend from eviction or starvation is what I'm referring to in these hard economic times.

But yes, there has always been a mean, cliquey, materialistic subculture of lesbians who have made life very unwelcoming to blue collar lesbians, of which are legion.

You didn't state whether you want a fun time with women or are looking for a long term relationship.

Let me warn you since you are a high earner: there are many gold diggers out there that use other women. Generally speaking, they are bisexuals like yourself.

by Anonymousreply 2207/29/2013

[quote]It doesn't matter where you live since you can get from one part of town to another within 10 minutes even at rush hour.

One of the dumbest things I've ever read.

by Anonymousreply 2307/29/2013

Let me clarify things: women in LA have a deeper sense of entitlement than in other parts of the country.

And yes, many are unattractive, rude, dingy, and unsophisticated.

There are many men who think this way as well, so be careful with both sexes.

My advice: stay happy with yourself and proud of your integrity. Eventually you will meet others with integrity.

by Anonymousreply 2407/29/2013

Whoever is giving the advice here, you're a hoot.

by Anonymousreply 2507/29/2013

R24, do you actually live in LA?

by Anonymousreply 2607/29/2013

No R26, But I went to school there.

Listen honey, you'll have no problem meeting nice ladies who are up for a fling on the westside. Just hang out in Santa Monica, go jogging, go have coffee, JOIN A GYM, enjoy yourself.

by Anonymousreply 2707/29/2013

Are you saying lesbians hook up at the gym? Even the nice gyms?

by Anonymousreply 2807/29/2013

Yes, R28, especially in LA. No, they don't have sex in the gym--but they can find dates there.

Thigh gaps, a common source of intrigue here on the DL, is highly valued in lesbian/bi society.

Basically, there r no lesbians bars in LA because they are not necessary. Women are open to things however, watch out for the straight girls...they can really destroy you.

by Anonymousreply 2907/29/2013

Here's an example: I have an old friend who is still living in LA who is lesbian. For a hoot, she started taking Jazzercise classes.

She was hit on by three frauleins who were all divorced with children. In a Jazzercise class!

Who knew!

by Anonymousreply 3007/29/2013

Now, if I were to be specific I would recommend Crossfit to meet gay or bi women, but I'm not certain you want to train that hard.

by Anonymousreply 3107/29/2013

I think the straight women go to Curves, lesbians do Crossfit, Bi chicks go to Equinox and boutique gyms, and the closet cases go to Jazzercise.

by Anonymousreply 3207/29/2013

That's funny. I'm the OP and I have an Equinox membership. CrossFit seems too intense and also unsafe. Also, I bet it attracts a lot of the butch types because everyone I know who does that program always bulks up. I'm much more of a light resistance training and Pilates reformer girl.

by Anonymousreply 3307/29/2013

[quote]Thigh gaps, a common source of intrigue here on the DL, is highly valued in lesbian/bi society.

You are a fucking moron.

by Anonymousreply 3407/29/2013

R33, I think the butch women independently weight train and it's more the athletic femmes and andros that do Crossfit. Yes they bulk up but stay sinewy, and that is how Crossfit likes to market itself to women. It looks dangerous to me as well.

Boutique gyms are less costly and allow for more privacy than Equinox.

by Anonymousreply 3507/29/2013

Trolldar the moron and this is the bullshit you get:

[quote]And if you can find yourself a gainfully employed husband or boyfriend, that will go easy on the lesbian's bank account as well.

[quote]She was hit on by three frauleins who were all divorced with children. In a Jazzercise class!

[quote]I don't know about LA, but just approach women who seem athletic. There will be less risk for you

[quote]Thigh gaps, a common source of intrigue here on the DL, is highly valued in lesbian/bi society.

[quote]Basically, there r no lesbians bars in LA because they are not necessary.

Bitch, please

by Anonymousreply 3607/29/2013

Thigh gaps look weird unless you have a very specific body type, a type that cannot be had by restricting calories and exercising.

by Anonymousreply 3707/29/2013

What R36??!!

Those aren't lesbian bars. Just because they are on a YELP page doesn't mean anything.

In fact, the first listing there is the Frolic Room which I used to visit when I lived in LA. It's a rock and roll scene for straights and drunks/druggies.

The Oxwood Inn? That's not a lesbian bar., it's a LGBT bar. Secondly, it's in the fucking valley. OP will not likely bother.

R36, you got mad at me when I mention the thigh gap and I am sorry if I burst your bubble, but women do like it.

You are also mad at me for mentioning gyms, but that's where the hot women are found.

R36, have you even been to LA?

by Anonymousreply 3807/29/2013

[quote] Thigh gaps, a common source of intrigue here on the DL, is highly valued in lesbian/bi society.

I'll concede the point that this might be in true in LA, but it's not true of any place I've ever lived in.

And there is no lesbian "society" in existence anywhere.

by Anonymousreply 3907/29/2013

[quote]R36, you got mad at me when I mention the thigh gap and I am sorry if I burst your bubble, but women do like it.

I got "mad" at you? No, I just quoted you. Perhaps you are talking to R34, who I happen to agree with. "highly valued"? No. I just asked 2 of my femme les friends (who also live in LA)and they laughed and said maybe 2% of lesbians value a thigh gap highly, and then they continued to laugh.

I am a gay man, and I *do* live in LA. As far as the Yelp listings, I was just trying to help. I have several lesbian friends, and the crap you are spewing is ridiculous.

I've asked them to email me about the decent Lesbian clubs, so, OP, I will be happy to post some spot on info for you when I can.

by Anonymousreply 4007/29/2013

R36, I am tailoring my responses to fit the needs of a hot bisexual woman.

For all I know, OP could really be a homeless dude sitting with dirty feet on the public library computer, but I will still humor the OP with my answers that are tailor-made for a bisexual woman.

OP will not be interested in drunks, dive bars that have 'lesbian nights' or butch women with crew cuts.

I am not saying that fitness is important with lesbians/bi's in other cities. I'm just saying that fit people can do better socially in La, which is not fair, mean, and unjust. But you know what? It's the reality.

by Anonymousreply 4107/29/2013

If all lesbians in La are like R41, etc - STAY AWAY!

by Anonymousreply 4207/29/2013

[quote]It doesn't matter where you live since you can get from one part of town to another within 10 minutes even at rush hour.

[quote]One of the dumbest things I've ever read.

Oh, honey.

by Anonymousreply 4307/29/2013

R42,

If not accepting the reality that fit people have more opportunities in LA and are considered more attractive than by all means, don't move there.

by Anonymousreply 4407/29/2013

I'm still laughing at the thigh gap thing.

by Anonymousreply 4507/29/2013

Oh my god. R44, (etc, etc, etc, all your posts are laughable) SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY.

I'm a lesbian who lives in LA, and you are probably a gay man who lives in small town Iowa or whatnot, and who has been watching THe L Word too often.

by Anonymousreply 4607/29/2013

Lez in LA. I never get hit on by other Lesbians. I only get hit on by gorgeous married women or women with boyfriends.

The total hits must run into the thousands. I always say no! But sometimes I wished I said yes! But I just don't want to get mixed up in the crazy.

by Anonymousreply 4707/29/2013

Wow...

This thread is so weird. Lesbians do like drama.

As a low-income lesbian living in Europe, I've noticed that lesbians tend to be very clique-y, perhaps even more so than guys. And high-income lesbians are incredible in their protection of their wealth and social status. I actually get on better with bourgeois straight women or bisexuals than with rich lesbians. Rich lesbians could'nt give a fuck about anyone else as long as they can mantain their lifestyle who cares what happens to anybody else.

by Anonymousreply 4807/29/2013

[quote]Will I be too far away from the social scene if I live in Venice or Santa Monica?

No, you'll find in lesbains in that part of town. It's also a part of town where people walk around (as opposed to being stuck in their cars) and people are friendly.

Hang out in places like the Rose Cafe and talk to people. Go to the beach. You'll soon meet people and people who know people...

by Anonymousreply 4907/29/2013

R48,

What part of Europe do you live in?

by Anonymousreply 5007/29/2013

Paris, France. You?

by Anonymousreply 5107/29/2013

R51,

I lived in Rome for almost two years, but now I'm back in Florida. I'm prepping to go back :)

But you don't think that some of that snootiness is a French thing?

by Anonymousreply 5207/29/2013

I don't think all rich lesbians are like that, r48, but certainly you will find rich people who are like that who happen to be lesbian.

Anymore tips on LA? r36?

Is it possible to live in a nice (doesn't need to be luxury, just safe and clean) apartment in the Santa Monica/Venice area for less than $2,000/month. Does a place like this with in-unit washer/dryer plus a parking space exist in that area for 2K or under?

by Anonymousreply 5307/30/2013

So many DL posters who don't recognize basic sarcasm. What is wrong with their brains?

by Anonymousreply 5407/30/2013

R54,

I called it at R25...

But no one listened...

by Anonymousreply 5507/30/2013

Bump. R36 are you here?

by Anonymousreply 5607/30/2013

From OP's posts, you can tell she really has bitterness towards lesbians, since they dislike bis.

[quote]I think people are jealous of someone who is truly bi.

[quote]It seems like being a lesbian in a big city you face some of the worst aspects of girl culture

[quote]I'd ask these questions at LChat but they are only semi-literate.

by Anonymousreply 5707/30/2013

Are you always this helpful R57?

Have you been to lchat? They hate bi people. They just can't imagine that we actually exist. They've been burned by bi curious straight girls and blame it on bisexuals. I bet a lot have never met a true bisexual.

by Anonymousreply 5807/30/2013

For us lesbians, getting a bi girl that has a husband or boyfriend is as purposeful and highly sought after as getting explosive diarrhea after a dinner date.

by Anonymousreply 5907/31/2013

Seriously, but who is talking about husbands or boyfriends?

by Anonymousreply 6007/31/2013

R60, Husbands and boyfriends were brought up as a supposed benefit by the bisexuals-are-highly-sought-after troll on page one of this thread.

by Anonymousreply 6107/31/2013

bumpity bump bump

by Anonymousreply 6208/01/2013

The classic LA L-look: Long legs, skinny with nice rack. Wardrobe has only three colors, black, medium black and black-black. Blunt cut, severe cut hair cut; pageboy, boy cut. Business: Tailored mid-thigh long coat and matching skinny pants. Glam: little black dress almost as high as the labia. Almost. Holly Golightly only business-trashy.

Industry power dykes.

I love 'em!

However, being in a room full of them is a bit frightening.

by Anonymousreply 6308/01/2013

Or..

by Anonymousreply 6408/01/2013

Is that stereotype of there being a lot of industry power dykes, true? I'll be working in the industry at my new job.

by Anonymousreply 6508/01/2013

r53 You might try to find someone running an add on craigslist who's renting a room in Santa Monica or Venice if that's where you want to live. Then when you've settled in, look for a place of your own if you like. I have a friend in Venice who rents rooms in her 3 story home for around $800 a month. So you can find a good place.

Good Luck.

by Anonymousreply 6608/02/2013

$800 a month for a ROOM?

by Anonymousreply 6708/02/2013

Fucking hilarious, R8.

R10, it's possible you're not very bright.

by Anonymousreply 6808/02/2013

R5 is vile (the post, at least). I didn't know it was the OP.

by Anonymousreply 6908/02/2013

R67 in a 3 story house with all amenities near the beach, simpleton.

by Anonymousreply 7008/02/2013

r65, post back here in a few months and give an update.

Take a picture of yourself before you move in your current killer business outfit.

Take a picture of yourself 4 months after you start work in LA in you then killer business outfit.

Compare.

Discuss.

by Anonymousreply 7108/02/2013

R69, do you know the meaning of the word vile or are you just a lost LChatter?

by Anonymousreply 7208/02/2013

I've met cool people doing things. Meetup is great. Drawing classes, museum trips, opera (yes, we have one), etc. . I would stay away from the bars and the wealth of disease that is floating around (everybody seems to think the idea of safe sex is a thing of the past), and yes, there are gold diggers galore here who look a little better than one of the girls on SATC. The L Word was a weird, sometimes fun, sometimes bizarre, TV show. I wish there was a cool local coffee shop we could all hang in gorgeous clothes without jobs; but that's not reality. If there is something you are into, find others and you'll meet someone. Seriously, be careful of the of the shallow, vapid money hungry morons who will be anything you want to be until they get whatever they want. Oh, and definitely stay out of Crossfit unless you want a major injury and nothing can ever be that bad that you will need to take a tour of the Celebrity Center. Take care, have fun and I'm hoping you will meet the right person...

by Anonymousreply 7308/04/2013
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