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Let's pretend we are things that happen in a movie!

I am the empty parking space that is directly in front of the building's entrance.

by Anonymousreply 53601/19/2015

I am the flashing red Hotel sign on that building.

by Anonymousreply 107/26/2013

I'm the fisting scene

by Anonymousreply 207/26/2013

I'm the innocuous detail that's noticed, suddenly pivoting the plot toward resolution.

by Anonymousreply 307/26/2013

I'm the adorable apartment that the lead actress could not possibly afford.

by Anonymousreply 407/26/2013

I'm the revelation of the detective's deep, dark secret!

by Anonymousreply 507/26/2013

I'm Catherine Zeta Jones! I'm a high school senior!

by Anonymousreply 607/26/2013

I'm the street pavement that is always wet and reflective during night scenes.

by Anonymousreply 707/26/2013

I am the middle-aged slob with a hot, twentysomething wife.

by Anonymousreply 807/26/2013

I'm a baguette, poking out of a grocery bag a main character is carrying.

by Anonymousreply 907/26/2013

I'm the poppers all of the models use

by Anonymousreply 1007/26/2013

I am both the lovers who wake up in the morning in each others' arms in a position no two human beings can stay in for more than 20 seconds.

by Anonymousreply 1107/26/2013

I'm the designer wardrobe worn by the leading lady who couldn't possibly afford it on her salary as a kindergarten teacher/marketing assistant/ waitress/retail assistant.

by Anonymousreply 1207/26/2013

I'm the husband who comes home late at night to his sleeping wife and gets right into bed without peeing, washing his hands or brushing his teeth.

by Anonymousreply 1307/26/2013

I'm the generally more attractive and presentable than regular society extras.

by Anonymousreply 1407/26/2013

I'm the blanket hiding the star's private parts, because we all know that while fucking like animals, people are careful with the covers on the bed.

by Anonymousreply 1507/26/2013

I'm the lead character's immaculate kitchen. I'm never dirty!

by Anonymousreply 1607/26/2013

I'm the glow in the room that remains after a character has switched off the lights, so that the audience can still see.

by Anonymousreply 1707/26/2013

[quote]I'm a baguette, poking out of a grocery bag a main character is carrying.

I'm the bunch of carrots with the stems still on them in the same bag.

by Anonymousreply 1807/26/2013

I'm the inspirational workout/training montage!

by Anonymousreply 1907/26/2013

I am the pouring down rain on an obviously sunny day.

by Anonymousreply 2007/26/2013

I'm the monster/person/hideous thing you think you killed after they stalked and terrorized you, flying up in your face to just about give you a heart attack, but 1 bang of your gun and they are really dead.

by Anonymousreply 2107/26/2013

I'm the sequence of Idyllic Life Indicators that precede Everything Falling Apart.

by Anonymousreply 2207/26/2013

I'm the neighborhood you live in that looks like a Thomas Kinkade painting.

by Anonymousreply 2307/26/2013

I'm the dirty old guy wearing earrings and a caftan ducking into the adult video store.

by Anonymousreply 2407/26/2013

I am the booming and strident voice of the stage actor who hasn't yet learnt to act on film.

by Anonymousreply 2507/26/2013

I'm true love. After 90 minutes, any idiot can find me.

by Anonymousreply 2607/26/2013

I'm Morgan Freeman. I'll be showing up at some point.

by Anonymousreply 2707/26/2013

I'm the couple who wakes up in the morning and immediately starts to have sex, without first having to get up to brush their teeth and pee.

by Anonymousreply 2807/26/2013

I'm the white bed sheet the lead actor wraps himself with to answer a phone call from his mother. He has been fucking the lead actress but must maintain his dignity so she doesn't see him naked. Even though he's been fucking her. Naked.

by Anonymousreply 2907/26/2013

I'm the swelling of music at the end of every rom com as the leading man chases the leading lady down the street to declare undying love. Despite this having been blindingly obvious to every man and his dog, it comes as a complete shock to her. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

by Anonymousreply 3007/26/2013

I am the key that won't enter a lock, only when the victim is being chased by an attacker.

by Anonymousreply 3107/26/2013

I'm the mysterious UNKNOWN cell phone caller! Be afraid!

by Anonymousreply 3207/26/2013

I'm the bareback sex

by Anonymousreply 3307/26/2013

I am the oscar that awaits Meryl Streep, if she happens to be in my movie.

by Anonymousreply 3407/26/2013

I'm the bad dialogue, shitty sets and hot steaming penetration.

by Anonymousreply 3507/26/2013

I am the car that never starts as the bad guy looms ever closer...then suddenly roars to life at the last minute.

by Anonymousreply 3607/26/2013

I am the pillow that breaks into thousands of feathers during every fight scene.

by Anonymousreply 3707/26/2013

I am the innocent man, wrongly convicted of a crime and trying to clear my name.

by Anonymousreply 3807/26/2013

I'm the gleaming white and perfectly straight teeth of the poor waitress / cashier / fast food worker who, in real life, could barely afford a tube of Aquafresh.

by Anonymousreply 3907/26/2013

I'm the bathroom. People only enter me to have A MOMENT ALONE.

No one ever drops a wicked deuce in me.

by Anonymousreply 4007/26/2013

I'm the mysterious flourescent vial of serum, which is the only thing that can save:

the world from being destroyed,

the hero from returning to his beastly state,

or the villain from becoming immortal.

Watch as I tumble through the air in ultra slow-motion over a cliff/ledge/balcony!

by Anonymousreply 4107/26/2013

I'm the vinyl platform pumps worn by the "actress" while getting fucked in the can.

by Anonymousreply 4207/26/2013

I'm the expensive flower arrangements in every room, even though my owners are supposed to be middle class (or even lower).

by Anonymousreply 4307/26/2013

I am the less attractive best friend of the lead actress. My job is to make her look prettier and give her my jaded world weary advice.

Sometimes I am fat or black but usually I am a pinch-faced skinny white girl.

by Anonymousreply 4407/26/2013

I am the explosion that the hero can outrun.

by Anonymousreply 4507/26/2013

I am the black female judge and I don't take any nonsense from anybody. I think I also have my own thread her on DL.

by Anonymousreply 4607/26/2013

I am that same shiny, tiled tunnel that seems to be in EVERY movie!

by Anonymousreply 4707/26/2013

I'm apparently the last telephone answering that has yet to be replaced by voicemail.

by Anonymousreply 4807/26/2013

You may the black judge r45 but I am the Asian reporter standing on the steps of your courthouse waiting for accused and his lawyer to come barreling past me.

by Anonymousreply 4907/26/2013

I am the front and/or back doors that are rarely locked so that anybody can enter unannounced at any time -- regardless of whether I'm a house in the suburb or an apartment in the city.

by Anonymousreply 5007/26/2013

I'm the answering machines that are still commonly used in the 21st century.

by Anonymousreply 5107/26/2013

I am Nicole Kidman's latest "character wig". Even though I have been custom made for a shocking amount of money by skilled craftsmen, no one believes I'm real.

Even I I don't believe I'm real.

by Anonymousreply 5207/26/2013

I am the gang of street thugs that is comprised mostly of white guys.

by Anonymousreply 5307/26/2013

I am Meryl Streep's accent in R34's movie. I am totally ridiculous but critics will love me anyway.

by Anonymousreply 5407/26/2013

I am the nonexistent television screen you will never find in any living room.

by Anonymousreply 5507/26/2013

I am a New York City cab driver in the 21st century who is a middle-aged white guy who talks like a gangster from the 1940s.

by Anonymousreply 5607/26/2013

I am the unattractive teenage nerd that gets to have sex with the hot girl.

by Anonymousreply 5707/26/2013

I'm that "thing" that [italic]everyone[/italic] trips on when being chased in a horror movie.

by Anonymousreply 5807/26/2013

I'm that cup of to-go coffee that is obviously empty.

by Anonymousreply 5907/26/2013

I'm the underwear the lovers put on between fucking and getting out of bed and the bedsheets the woman holds to cover her breasts lest the man who fucked her sees her tits.

by Anonymousreply 6007/26/2013

I'm the two friends that go from platonic pals to unprotected penetrative sex immediately after something kind of sad happens.

by Anonymousreply 6107/26/2013

^ I'm the poster who posts his trite contribution before reading through the thread.

by Anonymousreply 6207/26/2013

I am the magical airport where every flight arrives and departs exactly on time, and all the passengers are attractive, well-dressed professionals.

by Anonymousreply 6307/26/2013

I'm a minor character introduced for no particular reason early in the thriller. I will either be killed by someone mistaking me for the film's protagonist or I will turn out to be the killer.

by Anonymousreply 6407/26/2013

I'm the simultaneous orgasm that it takes the lovers in R28, R29, R60, and R61 only 60 seconds to achieve. Without fail. Even though we just met for the first time 10 minutes ago.

by Anonymousreply 6507/26/2013

I'm the predictable romantic happy ending.

by Anonymousreply 6607/26/2013

I'm the pink box holding some type of dessert. My twine string in a cute bow.

by Anonymousreply 6707/26/2013

I'm the perfectly staged home/apartment/office that [italic]everyone[/italic] has. Everyone in the movies has such impeccable taste!

(piggybacking on R4 and R43)

by Anonymousreply 6807/26/2013

I am the earth shattering orgasm a woman has when she has sex for her first time.

by Anonymousreply 6907/26/2013

I'm Kevin Spacey's wife and children.

by Anonymousreply 7007/26/2013

I'm the 22 year old gal with supermodel looks - but don't let that fool ya! I'm a doctor/scientist/anthropologist/FBI agent, etc.

by Anonymousreply 7107/26/2013

I'm the older British man around to lend a bit of credibility to whatever is being done.

by Anonymousreply 7207/26/2013

I'm the smart, beautiful 20-something Columbia student who ends my engagement to a handsome young doctor because I'm madly in love with the 60-something character played by Woody Allen.

by Anonymousreply 7307/26/2013

I am the latent, homoerotic tension that is simmering between the two male leads.

by Anonymousreply 7407/26/2013

I'm the perfectly applied "morning after" make up.

by Anonymousreply 7507/26/2013

I'm the moment when the lead characters realize that Mom has Alzheimer's.

by Anonymousreply 7607/26/2013

I am the band-aid the hero has to wear through 2 scenes because he fell off of a 100 story skyscraper in Hong Kong but luckily landed on a garbage truck

by Anonymousreply 7707/26/2013

I am the carton of sour milk and the take out box of moldy Chinese food in the refrigerator of the single workaholic.

by Anonymousreply 7807/26/2013

I am the multiple serious injuries that only make the hero limp a little bit (even though he woke up in the hospital) until he has to fight yet again for his life. Then I am ignored completely and do not slow him down at all because he is the hero.

by Anonymousreply 7907/26/2013

I'm the person hiding in the closet at someone else's home. It's often because I'm the lover of someone whose husband or wife has come home early.

by Anonymousreply 8007/26/2013

I am the car the characters are in that seems to be floating above the ground and moving at about 15mph.

by Anonymousreply 8107/26/2013

I'm the Black friend whose only purpose in the universe is to make the white leading man (or lady) feel better about themselves. If male I'm always cool and hip. If female I'm fat and sassy and also occasionally play a maid who gets to bake pies.

by Anonymousreply 8207/26/2013

I'm the gay guy lapdog friend who does pretty much the same thing as R82.

by Anonymousreply 8307/26/2013

I'm the cop who is }}thisclose{{ to retirement but suddenly has to go up against some very nasty characters...

...or the reformed criminal who is forced by some very nasty characters into doing just-one-more-job before they allow him to live a life of peace...

and you know what happens.

by Anonymousreply 8407/27/2013

I'm the ice-cold notably young female attorney of asian descent in a tailored black suit doing the wicked corporation's bidding.

I'm here to show yet another challenge the creased midlife everyman hero faces in today's heartless world.

by Anonymousreply 8507/27/2013

I'm the dust that is stirred up as the '70s-era boat sized auto squeals out of the parking lot.

by Anonymousreply 8607/27/2013

I am the crotch on the hunk with the 'stache. The camera man has a way of zooming in on that crotch.

by Anonymousreply 8707/27/2013

We are the two stars of the movie. We hate each other with heat of a thousand suns. I thinks she's a humourless shrew and she thinks I'm a talentless hack. We both think that the other, without make and lightening, is incredibly ugly. In a minute we have to leave our respective trailors to film a love scene where we have to get naked, look lovingly into each others eyes and make it look convincing. This has driven me to drink 4 straight scotches and i can hear her vomiting into the bin.

by Anonymousreply 8807/27/2013

I'm the Oscar-winning former beauty, now with a bad rep for lunacy and a tragic penchant for plastic-surgery doing a low-budg stinker yet I'm still treating the crew like shit.

by Anonymousreply 8907/27/2013

I'm the new kid on the block who has a decent chance at real stardom yet thinks he/she already owns Hollywood because of that presenting gig at the MTV Movie Awards. In two years I'm going to wonder what went wrong.

by Anonymousreply 9007/27/2013

I'm the parking garage the bad guy(s) chase the hero (and his girlfriend) through. Whoever is being chased inevitably runs right down the middle of my ramp so they can be caught instead of, like, ducking behind a car or hiding or something.

by Anonymousreply 9107/27/2013

I am Johny Depp's quirky makeup, which lets him "disappear" into the role.

by Anonymousreply 9207/27/2013

I'm the kitchen staff that barely acknowledges the hero running by as attempts to escape by "the back way." I might duck if shots are fired by the pursuing villains, but usually not.

by Anonymousreply 9307/27/2013

I'm the makeover montage where the heroine goes from plain* to gorgeous.

*Plain: This being a movie, plain will be "Michelle Pfeiffer without makeup", gorgeous will be "Michelle Pfeiffer with makeup".

by Anonymousreply 9407/27/2013

I am the cab that is always easy to flag down, even on a dark night without having been called.

by Anonymousreply 9507/27/2013

I'm the sage older mentor who's known the hero since childhood who turns out to be the mastermind behind the evil scheme.

by Anonymousreply 9607/27/2013

r90 is Emma Roberts

by Anonymousreply 9707/27/2013

I'm the grizzled Hollywood old-timer who is in his first feature-film role in so many years that nobody can remember his last, and is going to win a supporting-Oscar for it, his first.

by Anonymousreply 9807/27/2013

I'm the top of the cardboard gift box that's wrapped separately so the leading lady can just lift me up and see her gift without ripping any wrapping paper.

by Anonymousreply 9907/27/2013

I'm the snooty camera crew that won't associate with any of the other crew.

I'm the eccentric costumer who makes the grips nervous.

I'm the 20 Dominoes pizzas delivered for second-meal.

I'm the know-it-all teamster who lives in Acton and thinks Obama's a communist and likes to talk endlessly about the time he was Tommy Lee Jones's driver.

I'm the embattled craft-services person who has to take shit from everyone but does his/her best on a laughably small budget and is likely the hardest-working person on the crew.

I'm the closeted well-known actor who is having a not-so-secret affair with the not-closeted wardrobe assistant.

I'm the talented yet emotionally unstable set decorator who is stealing from the production.

I'm the loud-mouth multi-millions-per-picture A-list actor who foolishly shot his mouth off about crew wages and then found a fresh pile of shit on his trailer floor.

I'm the idiotic but handsome actor-turned-director who likes to threaten his crew with being fired.

I'm the prop-master who fucked the leading lady.

I'm the gaffer who makes a bloody fortune because he owns his equipment and rents it to the productions he works on.

I'm one of the 27 producers who doesn't know what he's doing yet he shows up every day expecting to have his chair placed right in front of the monitor.

I'm the prop-assistant who's sick of hauling around chairs for asshole producers.

I'm the script supervisor who really knows her shit and everyone relies on her for keeping things moving.

I'm the AC who gets a hard-on everytime he "marks" the slate.

by Anonymousreply 10007/27/2013

I am leading lady's best friend sitting next to her when she is crying how nobody loves her. She is in her 20s, beautiful and always perfectly dressed. I am in my 50s, part-time worker, smokey voice and the beauty has long gone. I have no lines to my problems, because I only exist for her. I am leading man's best gay friend. I have no love life, but I am an expert to understand women and give advises to my best pal, who is hot hunk, and who I'd like to sleep with, but hot leading actors are NEVER gays in Hollywood, so he leaves and I watch from the window and smile. I have no lines to my problems, because there are no real gays in Hollywood!

by Anonymousreply 10107/27/2013

I think r100 is an insider

by Anonymousreply 10207/27/2013

I'm the cough that is is always the first symptom of a fatal disease

by Anonymousreply 10307/27/2013

Me too R102. That was very specific.

by Anonymousreply 10407/27/2013

I'm the thou$and$ in de$igner $uit$ dre$$e$ furni$hing$ and rent that the female character can mysteriously afford despite her mid-level job.

by Anonymousreply 10507/27/2013

I'm the 70's song played in a movie set in the 60's.

by Anonymousreply 10607/27/2013

I'm the person who quietly sneaks into the bathroom and suddenly appears behind someone in the mirror. I'm usually accompanied by a cheap jump scare sound effect.

by Anonymousreply 10707/27/2013

I'm a deep buried secret that will ruin a happy family Thanksgiving/Christmas dinner.

by Anonymousreply 10807/27/2013

I'm the Chinese food being eaten directly out of the white carton

by Anonymousreply 10907/27/2013

I'm a widowed high powered architect with a stunning home and millions of dollars. I want to find love again, but it's so difficult! I haven't dated for decades!

by Anonymousreply 11007/27/2013

I'm a drunk best man who delivers an embarrassing wedding toast.

by Anonymousreply 11107/27/2013

I'm the stunning beauty that suppose to be ugly because she wears eyeglasses

by Anonymousreply 11207/27/2013

I'm the normally-impossible-to-reach-quickly person on the other end of the phone, who answers within one ring.

by Anonymousreply 11307/27/2013

I'm the call coming from inside the house.

by Anonymousreply 11407/27/2013

It's threads like this which make Datalounge, Datalounge.

by Anonymousreply 11507/27/2013

I'm a famous landmark that will be destroyed by a falling meteor or a tidal wave.

by Anonymousreply 11607/27/2013

Jen Anniston checking in, on the set of my next rom-com.

by Anonymousreply 11707/27/2013

I'm the moderately sexy, self-righteous ex-wife who berates the divorced male lead as he saves the world from impeding disaster.

by Anonymousreply 11807/27/2013

That was great, R100. Thanks.

by Anonymousreply 11907/27/2013

I'm the handwritten executive memo.

by Anonymousreply 12007/27/2013

I'm the pre 9/11 Arabs that show up to depict lots of money and men falling over themselves to do business with them.

I'm the over the hill actress that is show as sex-starved.

I'm the over romanticized poor people that are shown as 'real' compared to the stuffy rich people

by Anonymousreply 12107/27/2013

I'm the filthy public toilet that no one in their right mind would sit on, let alone touch with their hands. Yet here I am, with the gorgeous leading lady wrapped around my shit-stained porcelain rim, her long tresses grazing my befouled innards, being vomited into.

by Anonymousreply 12207/27/2013

[quote]I am the pillow that breaks into thousands of feathers during every fight scene.

I'm either the hairbrush or the roll-on deodorant bottle that the characters use as microphones when doing the lip-synch number to an old Motown tune before the pillow fight.

by Anonymousreply 12307/27/2013

I am ugly and grey working girl with ponytail and no love life until I meet the man of my life. My life turns upside down, when I open my hair and wear design clothes tailor made for me!

by Anonymousreply 12407/27/2013

I'm the black guy.

by Anonymousreply 12507/27/2013

I am a tired mother, my hair is a mess.

by Anonymousreply 12607/27/2013

I'm the young siblings arguing in the background.

by Anonymousreply 12707/27/2013

I am a night lightning, which always shows perfectly placed people in bed, when one of the stars turns off the bedside lamp.

by Anonymousreply 12807/27/2013

I'm the green desk lamp - and I have more credits than any screen or dead!

by Anonymousreply 12907/27/2013

I'm the A-List leading man, playing a role I am more than a decade too old for.

by Anonymousreply 13007/27/2013

I am the female scientist. I am played by a hot chick in her twenties.

I am the male scientist. I am played by Phillip Seymour Hoffman.

by Anonymousreply 13107/27/2013

I am Brad Pitt, and hell will freeze over first before I play the father of an adult child.

by Anonymousreply 13207/27/2013

I'm the magical airplane where there is always plenty of room in coach.

People who leave the same plane are always immaculately groomed, even after an overnight international flight.

by Anonymousreply 13307/27/2013

I'm the magic hour, and Terrence Malick just can't get enough of me.

by Anonymousreply 13407/27/2013

I am a detective, who after hours of search on crime scene arrives and within few seconds finds a crowbar, which has killer's fingerprints.

by Anonymousreply 13507/27/2013

I am an office girl, I have a pencil and a pad and I wear old fashioned glasses.

by Anonymousreply 13607/27/2013

I am a handwriting on every letter seen in every movie.

by Anonymousreply 13707/27/2013

I am a bunch of military recruits rushed off to fight and win a battle before completing training.

by Anonymousreply 13807/27/2013

More please, r100!

by Anonymousreply 13907/27/2013

I am the the receiver button on the land line telephone that the heroine presses over and over and over, saying "hello....hello.....hello" long after the line goes dead.

by Anonymousreply 14007/27/2013

I'm the telephone that gets ripped out of the wall when the bad man doesn't want you to call for help. That is, if the outside telephone line hasn't already been cut.

I've always wanted to rip a telephone out of the wall, just like Dolly Parton does in 9 to 5.

by Anonymousreply 14107/27/2013

Less please R100. This thread is about things that happen IN movies, not boring behind the scenes minutia. Ooooooh, they got 20 pizzas for lunch? Do tell!

by Anonymousreply 14207/27/2013

That was the only interesting part of this thread.

What's an AC? Assistant Cinematographer?

by Anonymousreply 14307/27/2013

I'm a book in the library of a movie set in the 1800's. I look like a musty 100-year-old used bookstore relic, even though I was new in the year in which the movie is set.

by Anonymousreply 14407/27/2013

[quote]I'm the black guy.

[quote]I'm the young siblings arguing in the background.

You're not getting it. But thank you for playing.

by Anonymousreply 14507/27/2013

I'm the cheesy twist that M Night Shyamalan believes will make people think how clever and original he is.

by Anonymousreply 14607/27/2013

R100 was super, on topic or not.

by Anonymousreply 14707/27/2013

I'm the movie within the movie!

by Anonymousreply 14807/27/2013

I'm the 2000sq. ft. Manhattan apartment with lovely city views out of every window, at least two bedrooms, a big kitchen and 15ft. ceilings that every single fucking person in NYC lives in, regardless of socioeconomic status.

by Anonymousreply 14907/27/2013

I think I get it fine, R145.

by Anonymousreply 15007/27/2013

I'm Jennifer Aniston, still playing "mid-thirties."

by Anonymousreply 15107/27/2013

I am a mint condition vintage muscle car driven by a 27 year old high school senior.

by Anonymousreply 15207/27/2013

I am the lesbian that becomes straight after being relentlessly pursued by a straight man with a heart of gold.

by Anonymousreply 15307/27/2013

I'm the red herring plot device. You can spot me a mile away.

by Anonymousreply 15407/27/2013

I'm the stereotypical grandmother that hasn't been seen alive since the 1940's. My look isn't complete without my pure white hair done up in a bun, Ben Franklin spectacles, support hose and a gunnysack dress. I spend a lot of time baking cookies.

by Anonymousreply 15507/27/2013

I'm the 34yr old C-list actress who got the part of Mom. My only job in this movie is to become emotional as my eldest son leaves for college and to bake cookies. My college age son is played by a 27yr old actor. My husband is played by Harrison Ford. We've been married for 25 years.

by Anonymousreply 15607/27/2013

I'm the no nonsense nurse who tries, unsuccessfully, to reason with the injured hero to keep him from leaving the hospital. No luck. Even though he's just been shot and lost a lot of blood, he pulls out his IV's, hastily gets dressed and bolts for the stairs. He's the only one who can catch the bad guys.

by Anonymousreply 15707/27/2013

I'm the fart that's HILARIOUS!

by Anonymousreply 15807/27/2013

I'm the amazing fantasy boss who tells the single, frazzled heroine she works too hard. It pains me to see her so burned out, so I'm making her take a vacation-- RIGHT NOW. I won't allow her to work another minute, so while I'm hustling her out of the office, I inform her that she will not be allowed to call in or answer any emails for the next two weeks. I tell her she has full use of my gorgeous vacation home in the caribbean for her getaway. She MUST get some restorative rest and relaxation.

by Anonymousreply 15907/27/2013

I used to be the “goodbye” people say to each other before they hang up the phone.

by Anonymousreply 16007/27/2013

R9, I'm the head of celery sticking out next to you in the bag!

by Anonymousreply 16107/27/2013

I'm the lack of screens on any house windows.

by Anonymousreply 16207/27/2013

I'm the lack of sweat on the stars despite the fact that the movie is set in the South during the summertime.

by Anonymousreply 16307/27/2013

I'm the zombies who eat but never piss or shit.

by Anonymousreply 16407/27/2013

I'm Viola as the maid!!!

by Anonymousreply 16507/27/2013

I'm the prosthetic nose that will win the star of the movie an Oscar.

by Anonymousreply 16607/27/2013

I'm R131 and didn't bother to read R71

by Anonymousreply 16707/27/2013

I'm the baby monitor on which a private conversation is overheard.

by Anonymousreply 16807/27/2013

[quote]I think R100 is an insider

I think R100 has a reading comprehension problem. However it would be fun to start a thread titled: "Let's Pretend We're Things That Happen On a Movie Set!"

by Anonymousreply 16907/27/2013

I'm the neighbors who don't seem to hear the shrieks and screams coming from the suburban house next door.

by Anonymousreply 17007/27/2013

However it would be fun to start a thread titled: "Let's Pretend We're Things That Happen On a Movie Set!"

At link:

by Anonymousreply 17107/27/2013

But those are things that actually happened on a movie set.

(Back to our topic:)

I'm the swaying glaring naked light bulb on a dangling basement light fixture that no sane person would ever have in their home, and I try so pathetically to blatantly reference Hitchcock's "Psycho," but I fail miserably!

by Anonymousreply 17207/27/2013

I am the pretty young thing the leading man conveniently sleeps with after having a major fight with his wife, we will have an affair but he will drop me like a hot potato in about 30 minutes so he can get back together with his worn out wife. Nobody will care whether I'm heartbroken or not because let's be honest I was too hot for my own good and I totally can do better.

by Anonymousreply 17307/27/2013

I am the cute child of a single mother. I have accidentally done something to put my life in peril.

by Anonymousreply 17407/27/2013

I am the leading man saving R174's life. You will find out that I'm responsible for the total annihilation of my family in a flashback, later on I will face my demons about that horrible accident and marry R174's mother.

by Anonymousreply 17507/27/2013

I am the new guy dating the leading lady whose ex still loves her. I am boring and a 5, or evil and a 10.

by Anonymousreply 17607/27/2013

I'm the screeching cat that flies out of the shadows as the frightened actress cautiously walks around the darkened house/cabin/school. I give her only about three seconds of relief before she turns to meet a face-full of hatchet.

by Anonymousreply 17707/27/2013

I'm the handsome, bachelor doctor in a beautiful rural town. I will be the only doctor in town and am about to meet the pretty owner of the antique store. She requires stitches in her finger. I'll drop by her shop later this week to see how her finger is and she will invite me to dinner at her rambling home.

by Anonymousreply 17807/27/2013

I am the former child star trying to sex up my image by doing edgy indie flicks but somehow I keep playing the same demure wholesome character over and over again. I really want to move on but I also don't want to ostracise my fan base. I will take my top off in 3... 2... 1... never.

by Anonymousreply 17907/27/2013

I am the tea kettle whistle signalling the leads have finally found some inner peace and will grow old together.

by Anonymousreply 18007/27/2013

I am the spray painted six pack.

by Anonymousreply 18107/27/2013

[quote]But those are things that actually happened on a movie set.

No shit. But the title of this thread is about things IN A MOVIE not things ON A MOVIE SET.

by Anonymousreply 18207/27/2013

I am the Eiffel Tower seen from every window in Paris.

by Anonymousreply 18307/27/2013

I am the unconvincing British, American, French, Russian (etc) accent.

by Anonymousreply 18407/27/2013

I'm the password to a secret bank account/military program/cheating husband's email account. The protagonist need only look at common items on the desk before correctly guessing me by the third try.

by Anonymousreply 18507/27/2013

I am the absence of embarrassing bathroom noises and smells.

by Anonymousreply 18607/27/2013

LOL @ r184! I'm the upper crust British accent used by Germans in a WW II movie and by ancient Romans / Egyptians in an epic biblical extravaganza.

by Anonymousreply 18707/27/2013

I'm the third rail on the Los Angeles subway system, laughing at how Jack character didn't just tell them to cut my power in order to stop the runaway train.

My cousin is the third rail from AMTRAK in Colorado, wondering why Casey Ryback didn't tell the military to cut my power to stop the runaway train.

by Anonymousreply 18807/27/2013

I'm referring to Speed and Under Siege 2.

by Anonymousreply 18907/27/2013

I am zero gravity astronauts in past and present day spacecrafts fake badly or ignore totally.

by Anonymousreply 19007/27/2013

I am the embarrassing attempt to pretend playing a musical instrument.

by Anonymousreply 19107/27/2013

I'm the desk agent at the magical airport who holds the door to the gate open for our hero, while frantically waving him through, just as the plane is about to depart so he won't miss his flight.

by Anonymousreply 19207/27/2013

I am the elaborate "I'm sooooo going to kill you" speech in which the villain walks our hero step by step through every villainous act he's ever planned.

by Anonymousreply 19307/27/2013

I am the unexpected moment truce and warmth blossoming in the middle of no man's land between a German soldier and a Tommy in a World War I movie. Neither of them will survive to see the end of the movie

by Anonymousreply 19407/27/2013

I'm the hardcore gangsta' wannabe holding his gun sideways.

by Anonymousreply 19507/27/2013

I am the cameo appearance of Ginny from Billing as played by Kathy Bates.

by Anonymousreply 19607/27/2013

I'm the creature, alien baby, or villain we thought was dead, who opens its eyes right before the final blackout, leaving everything open for a tepid sequel which may or may not ever get made!

by Anonymousreply 19707/27/2013

I'm Cameron Diaz, and even though my character is not supposed to be mildly retarded, it just comes across that way.

by Anonymousreply 19807/27/2013

I'm the outdoor chase on foot scene with the extra loud breathing, panting and falling down while running followed by getting back up again. Rinse and repeat.

by Anonymousreply 19907/27/2013

I'm the music which attempts to enhance an important scene.

I'm unnecessary and insulting, and the second I'm noticed I detract from the scene.

by Anonymousreply 20007/28/2013

Are all of these posts being written by the same asshole?

by Anonymousreply 20107/28/2013

I'm the all-white New York City or Los Angeles that characters from shitty movies written by Nora Ephron or Nancy Meyers live in. None of those annoying colored people or pesky little immigrants in this lily white fantasy world that I happen to be. And no poor people either.

by Anonymousreply 20207/28/2013

[quote]I'll drop by her shop later this week to see how her finger is and she will invite me to dinner at her rambling home.

No she won't R178 because she can't stand you. You'll ask her out of course, but she'll say no. She thinks you're smug and infantile. In a way, you are. You're certain that something's up, and you spend the rest of the movie trying to figure it out. Eventually you learn that her dad, a doctor, died an untimely death in a car crash that also killed her mother. She blames her dad and she's hated all doctors since. You eventually win her over though and are able to prove that the fatal car crash was nobody's fault. The closing scene is of you two as a married couple hopelessly devoted to each other.

Music by Randy or one of the other Newmans

by Anonymousreply 20307/28/2013

[quote]None of those annoying colored people or pesky little immigrants in this lily white fantasy world that I happen to be. And no poor people either.

They turn up from time to time, and when they do they are absolutely adorable.

by Anonymousreply 20407/28/2013

I am beautiful.

by Anonymousreply 20507/28/2013

I'm the door that slams closed behind the female star in the supposedly otherwise empty house.

by Anonymousreply 20607/28/2013

I'm the family dog. I'm outside and I suddenly stop barking.

by Anonymousreply 20707/28/2013

I'm the buggy ride through Central Park

by Anonymousreply 20807/28/2013

I'm the modern day New Yorker who still speaks 1950s Brooklynese.

by Anonymousreply 20907/28/2013

I'm the slap across the face that will bring the lead character to his or her senses!

by Anonymousreply 21007/28/2013

I'm the single woman of a 'certain age' who owns a cute, quirky little book store/coffee shop/bakery that serves as a backdrop for all the drama and angst in my life. No one ever shops or eats at my store. But friends pop in all the time to chat. I'm really not sure how I'm able to make a living this way and I don't know why I haven't been put out of business by the Barns and Noble and Starbucks in town.

by Anonymousreply 21107/28/2013

I'm the precocious, cute kid everyone in the audience hates because I'm actually not that cute and really annoying and I have the same bad haircut that every child actor in Hollywood has.

See link for example of hair.

by Anonymousreply 21207/28/2013

I am the female version of R212.

by Anonymousreply 21307/28/2013

I'm the heroine who, for different reasons depending on the plot, moves across country on a whim with no job. When I arrive at the quaint Pacific NW seaside town I will talk my way into a job, maybe coffee shop waitress or cute little gift shop clerk, and stumble onto an adorable bungalow on the cliffs overlooking the ocean, which strangely has very low rent. I will meet and fall in love with the local sheriff or fireman.

by Anonymousreply 21407/28/2013

[quote]I am the pretty young thing the leading man conveniently sleeps with after having a major fight with his wife, we will have an affair but he will drop me like a hot potato in about 30 minutes so he can get back together with his worn out wife. Nobody will care whether I'm heartbroken or not because let's be honest I was too hot for my own good and I totally can do better.

I'll make them care.

by Anonymousreply 21507/28/2013

We're the gang of henchmen sent to do battle with the hero. Even though we outnumber him 20 to 1, we all politely wait our turn to do battle so he can disable us one by one.

We are also the most inept group of henchmen ever, as we are all horrible shots, even when using machine guns, and are rendered unconscious by a punch to the jaw.

Our one saving grace is that we have remarkable recuperative powers. A blow to the back of the head that would permanently disable most people merely leaves us feeling awake and refreshed when the script calls for us to revive.

by Anonymousreply 21607/31/2013

I am the ever-present, fresh and hot pot of Mr Coffee. No matter when someone stops by, I always have a "fresh pot" and its "no trouble." If you don't drink coffee, I have a kettle on with hot water for tea.

I am the tray said coffee is delivered on along with the sugar bowl and milk pitcher that matches the mugs. I might even have some cookies to offer.

I am the neighbor who (a) enters your apartment without knocking and of course your door is open and (b) helps myself to a beer.

by Anonymousreply 21707/31/2013

I am the New York apartments that are the size of fucking airplane hangars.

by Anonymousreply 21807/31/2013

I'm the "meet cute," the serendipitously way a couple meets in romantic comedies, usually by crashing into each other in some embarrassing but amusing situation.

by Anonymousreply 21907/31/2013

I am the laughter supporting actors give to the star in not so funny romantic comedy to make the star look funny.

by Anonymousreply 22007/31/2013

I am the 100mph car chase through Midtown Manhattan that miraculously does not hit, maim or kill a single pedestrian or bicyclist.

by Anonymousreply 22108/27/2013

I'm the household pet. I'm only shown because I'm going to die at some point. For some reason, if I am a pet bird, my death/escape will be hilarious.

by Anonymousreply 22208/27/2013

I'm the aging, sometimes dumpy sometimes fit, actor that continues to do action films like I'm in my 20s.

I make the studio pay a ton of money on CGI to make me look realistic in my role onscreen when my diet and exercise regimen can't get my aging body ready for a role like this in time anymore.

by Anonymousreply 22308/27/2013

We're the gang of 25 year-old highly trained assassins that get beaten to a pulp by the aging, sometimes dumpy sometimes fit, actor that continues to do action films like he's in his 20s, but is actually 50-plus.

by Anonymousreply 22408/27/2013

I'm the 90 second trailer that was far more action packed, funny, and engaging than the 2+ hour dump of a full feature film.

by Anonymousreply 22508/27/2013

I'm the dumpy 50+ action hero actor. When not fake-beating people and fake-blowing things up, I insult bottom-of-the-rung interviewers who are only trying to make my movie happen.

by Anonymousreply 22608/27/2013

I am the magic muffins that are taken right out of the oven and immediately consumed and nobody burns their mouths.

by Anonymousreply 22708/28/2013

I am the houselights that are always on when we return home.

by Anonymousreply 22808/28/2013

I am the pristine vintage car in the period movie. Cars didn't get dents or scratches before 1970.

by Anonymousreply 22908/29/2013

I'm the domestic violence scene the heroine gets to witness because those neighbours from the next building don't close the curtains at night.

That or any compromising scene the hero gets to witness at night, unentionnally spying on people who don't draw the curtains even though they have secrets.

by Anonymousreply 23008/29/2013

I'm the essential scene in some American movies where that important character finds back his faith.

by Anonymousreply 23108/29/2013

I'm those scenes that go astray because the character was really miscast - the role has been given to the director (or the producer)'s boytoy or young mistress.

by Anonymousreply 23208/29/2013

I'm the "you've been warned" look given by the sassy black lady judge!

by Anonymousreply 23308/29/2013

I'm the moment the oldish hero finds a conveniently written proof that his youngish, airhead model wife is cheating on him with the young stud who tries to kill him.

by Anonymousreply 23408/29/2013

I'm the clean shaven face of the hero even though he has been running in the wild for days, experimenting gruelling ordeals.

by Anonymousreply 23508/29/2013

I'm the cabbie who is delighted to take your money from his window after you have exited the taxi.

by Anonymousreply 23608/29/2013

I'm the chase scene where the villain(s) on foot catch up with the hapless heroe(s) riding horse(s) or a car.

by Anonymousreply 23708/29/2013

I'm bad guy number 4, who will politely wait for the hero to finish beating the shit out of the other three bad guys, in order to have my own turn at play. I won't intervene in the proceedings until then.

by Anonymousreply 23808/29/2013

I'm the best friend of the lead male. We've been best buds forever and much time is spent showing how close we are. Which every audience member knows means I'm going to be responsible for his death and will try to bang his woman before he's even cold.

by Anonymousreply 23908/29/2013

I am Madonna's extensive acting range.

by Anonymousreply 24008/29/2013

I am the male star of the movie, who can beat the shit out of guys who are nearly a foot taller than me and 100 pounds heavier while barely breaking a sweat.

by Anonymousreply 24108/29/2013

I'm one of the bad guys, turning his coat near the end and helping the young hero because I've grown to respect him/fond of him during the movie.

by Anonymousreply 24208/29/2013

To all the hall monitors and thread admirers who have popped throughout, a) telling people to read the whole thing before posting (lest they God Forbid repeat something already said), b) extolling the virtues of our wonderful Datalounge humor , and/or c) criticizing r100 ...

You do realize, IT'S ALL BEEN SAID, REPEATEDLY, AT LEAST ONCE A MONTH, and perhaps r100 is the only one who has contributed a fresh perspective to this frequently played subject? Yes, the baguette and the carrots, the large NYC apartments and its Brooklyn white gangster cab drivers have all become DL standards.

Still fun (so I'll play) - but don't knock r100 for being different when it's so needed.

That having been said , I'm the fruit stand that does get hit at r221, with rolling oranges that give the illusion of chaos and mayhem in an otherwise death-casualty-free car chase.

And I'm surprised no one has mentioned the empty luggage yet.

by Anonymousreply 24308/29/2013

Oh, and r145, I'm sure those posters you mock got it the first 145 times this game was played and now just decided to abbreviate. But thanks for playing anyway (for what must be your first time at the empty coffee cup quips)

by Anonymousreply 24408/29/2013

I'm all the love scenes between the (sometimes fictionnal)female love interest and the real life male hero who was gay when he was alive but mysteriously appears straight in the movie.

by Anonymousreply 24508/29/2013

I'm the ever-popular plate glass window. A major character will fly through me, preferably in slow motion, and land without a scratch!

by Anonymousreply 24608/29/2013

I'm the fake newspaper that's being read.

My headline isn't kerned or spaced quite right and the font is a little "off."

I'm also about half again as wide as a modern newspaper, twice as thick, and I have six densely packed columns of type per page.

by Anonymousreply 24708/29/2013

I'm a museum. Something exciting is going to happen inside of me. A heist, a haunting, stuffed characters coming alive, a hostage-taking, a shootout, attacks by a chimera, roller skating, teenagers posing....

by Anonymousreply 24808/29/2013

I am the perfectly straight, gleaming white veneers on all of the actors' teeth, no matter what class of character they are playing, even a homeless junkie.

by Anonymousreply 24908/29/2013

I am the completely gratuitious strip club scene that really doesn't have anything to do with the plot, but is just a way for the male producers, director and actors to have naked chicks parade around all day for a three-day shoot.

by Anonymousreply 25008/29/2013

I'm the adorable retarded person, more wise and virtuous than my so-called "normal" acquaintances.

by Anonymousreply 25108/30/2013

Ah yes, R251. You are indeed in a LOT of films.

by Anonymousreply 25208/30/2013

Good one r250, funny how all those gratuitous strip club scenes do end up sneaking by us throughout the decades.

by Anonymousreply 25308/30/2013

I'm the fake generic web search page that the lead actor uses to look up information. I have colors like Google, but my name is something like SuperSearch or WebFind.

by Anonymousreply 25408/30/2013

I'm the not-so-discreet product placement. You probably saw several commercials for me before the movie started.

by Anonymousreply 25508/30/2013

I'm a phone number beginning with 555.

by Anonymousreply 25608/30/2013

I'm the vintage bicycle (with basket) being peddled by the hapless heroine. When the villain attacks, the heroine will hop off and throw me aside and run on foot. I always wonder why they do that to me, I'm so much faster than their two feet. Oh well.

by Anonymousreply 25708/30/2013

I'm a Huge Stack of Empty Cartons. If there's a car chase, I'll be right in the way.

Sometimes I'm replaced by my more expensive cousin, Huge Stack of Cartons Containing Round Fruit That Bounces Down the Street.

by Anonymousreply 25808/30/2013

I am the cab that magically appears from nothing, specially when a hurried heroin comes out from the building.

by Anonymousreply 25908/30/2013

I am the tiny suitcase that the wife leaving her husband begins to throw her clothes into while arguing with him.

by Anonymousreply 26008/30/2013

I am the pane of glass that easily shatters when a character is pushed into it that in real life wouldn't even crack.

by Anonymousreply 26108/30/2013

I am the booming slamming sound made when a character punches another in the jaw.

by Anonymousreply 26208/30/2013

I am the perfectly clear complexions, neatly washed hair, and straight white teeth of every actor in a "period film" (such as "Shakespeare In Love").

by Anonymousreply 26308/30/2013

I am the rainstorm. I will take place, without fail, at THE most dramatic point in the film (fight, breakup/makeup, revelation, etc.)

by Anonymousreply 26408/30/2013

I am the blue screen. I am doing all the work.

by Anonymousreply 26508/30/2013

I'm the big random sticker placed strategically over the glowing Apple logo of a character's Macbook.

by Anonymousreply 26608/30/2013

r262's home audios.

by Anonymousreply 26708/30/2013

I'm "The Wilhelm scream"

by Anonymousreply 26808/30/2013

I am the delicious cheap carbonara pasta prepared by an adorable post-college boy and his date at their first home dinner.

by Anonymousreply 26908/30/2013

I'm the female lead's best girlfriend. I've been told to affect an exceptionally shrill voice so that everything I say sounds absolutely hilarious.

My whole life seems to rotate around my GF's love life...

by Anonymousreply 27008/30/2013

I'm the implausible series of mishaps and events that occur because no one has a cell phone even though it's the future.

by Anonymousreply 27108/30/2013

I'm the convenient plot device of suddenly being in an area where there is no cell reception, because the writers are too stupid/lazy to think of any alternatives.

by Anonymousreply 27208/30/2013

I'm the homosexual attraction misunderstanding that's either meant to make the audience laugh or meant to gross them out. Or both.

by Anonymousreply 27308/30/2013

I know you R264 ! You also take place when the hero is thrown out in the streets. You help a lot with the pathos.

by Anonymousreply 27408/30/2013

I am Mary McDonell's layered haircut, including highlights and bangs, in Dances With Wolves. Very tribal and authentic.

by Anonymousreply 27508/30/2013

I am Deux Ex Machina. I am eternal.

by Anonymousreply 27608/30/2013

I am the tired, unfunny, and sometimes phony gag reel of actors flubbing their lines and breaking into giggles that runs during the beginning of the end credits.

by Anonymousreply 27708/30/2013

I am the fruit cart that gets run over in every action movie of the 80's.

by Anonymousreply 27808/30/2013

I am the snow that falls like clockwork every Christmas.

by Anonymousreply 27908/30/2013

I am the one dimensional Asian person that doesn't matter!

by Anonymousreply 28008/30/2013

I'm the snowy fruit cart that every Asian has at Christmas

by Anonymousreply 28108/30/2013

I am that moment in every caper-that=goes wrong film in which the whiny Mark Wahlberg-like characters say "But nobody was supposed to get hurt!"

by Anonymousreply 28208/30/2013

I am the black or Hispanic cop who is the best friend of the protagonist. I will be murdered 25 minutes into the film. The hero/leading man says he wants justice, but he really wants vengence,

by Anonymousreply 28308/30/2013

I'm the car that won't start/ the dead batteries in the flashlight/ and the rainstorm that causes the power (and the phones in the pre-cell phone world) to go out in a thriller movie

by Anonymousreply 28408/30/2013

We are the futuristic devices imagined in a 1980s science fiction film. I can track people's locations. I'm a communication device that allows people to talk to each other in crowded public places and remote locations. I recognize people by their faces. I am a videophone. I'm a tiny camera. I can provide you access to a mainframe computer's data from outside the office!

We are all cumbersome, attached to the wall with cords and in the hands only of the most wealthy and powerful citizens. We are fucking cool!

Every function we all perform and more can now be done with a tiny object in just about everyone's pocket.


by Anonymousreply 28508/30/2013

I'm the brooding wigger with big dreams and long eyelashes, in a pricey hoodie, realizing that the latest MMA, kickboxing, muay thai fad just might be the key to realizing my potential, so I can escape my hood (that I will never forget).

by Anonymousreply 28608/30/2013

I'm Icona Pop's "I Love It," and I'm this generation's version of "That's What I Like About You" or "Tubthumping" when it comes to trailer music.

by Anonymousreply 28708/30/2013

I'm the catchy pop song sung at the closing credits of every kids' animation film

by Anonymousreply 28808/30/2013

I'm the awe-struck, soundless gaze with slowly gaping mouth that faces the screen, looking slightly above the camera.

I am mandatory in a Spielberg movie and frequently found in family films movies, Disney films, and Disney family films.

by Anonymousreply 28908/31/2013

I am the front door that is never closed after someone enters or exits.

I am the floor that always makes a hollow wood sound when people walk on me.

by Anonymousreply 29008/31/2013

I'm the dream sequence. I will have some telling detail in me that enables the main character to solve the mystery/puzzle/crime that has been bedeviling him/her. Oh, and even though the main character is the one having the dream, it won't be from their point of view, as dreams are. They will be featured as another player in the scenario.

by Anonymousreply 29108/31/2013

I am the intelligence director/law enforcement agent who can order the "lock-down" of vast swathes of metropolitan areas on my say-so.

by Anonymousreply 29208/31/2013

I am the fainting spell that will suddenly overcome the heroine, letting some older wiser female character (and the audience) know that the heroine is pregnant, or rather with child.

by Anonymousreply 29308/31/2013

I'm the mug of black coffee. Everyone drinks me black, no one scalds their mouth, no one takes more than on sip though.

by Anonymousreply 29408/31/2013

I am the void that appears whenever Scarlett Johannson is onscreen.

by Anonymousreply 29508/31/2013

I am the cake that serves 125 that is served to a party of 8 at every celebration.

I am carried in by the cook...I have over 100 candles that are perfectlu lit and I am so light the cook is never straining to carry me in..

by Anonymousreply 29608/31/2013

R184 don't forget the southern accent.

by Anonymousreply 29708/31/2013

I'm the hero who relationship with my ex-wife and children only bring us together on occasions. I'm the only person that can save the world; and between doing this by the end of the movie my children worship me and my wife is forgiving.

by Anonymousreply 29808/31/2013

I am the roof top atrium glass our hero will fall through and plummet 10 floors to a pillow landing on an indoor cafe canopy.

by Anonymousreply 29908/31/2013

I'm the leading man. Even though FDR was president when I was born, I'll be damned if they cast a woman over 45 to play my love interest!

by Anonymousreply 30008/31/2013

I'm the self-involved New Yorker you bump into who yells, "Hey! Watch where you're goin', moron!"

by Anonymousreply 30108/31/2013

I'm the platform shoes that make you think Tom Cruise is at eye-level with the other actors.

by Anonymousreply 30208/31/2013

I'm business class. Somehow everyone can afford to fly me.

by Anonymousreply 30308/31/2013

I'm a student's corpse from Hudson University (Okay, okay it's TV)

by Anonymousreply 30408/31/2013

I'm the food that gets shoved around the plate during a conversation of any given length, yet no one takes a bite.

by Anonymousreply 30508/31/2013

I am the hood of the car that breaks the 4-story backwards fall off the fire escape, which our hero walks away from without a scratch.

by Anonymousreply 30608/31/2013

I'm the ceramic penguin in the study that always faces due south.

by Anonymousreply 30708/31/2013

I'm the cop with a theory no one believes in!

by Anonymousreply 30808/31/2013

I am the white boys who are inner-city street thugs.

by Anonymousreply 30908/31/2013

I'm the fully-set breakfast table with pancakes, scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, creamer set, carafe of orange juice, cloth napkins and butterstick in a dish (never tubs or cartons on the table!) that the family is eating on a "typical" weekday work/school morning.

Oh and the fresh flower in a vase on the checkered table cloth.

by Anonymousreply 31008/31/2013

I am the movie that takes place over the course of one day and none of the characters ever have to pee or take a dump.

by Anonymousreply 31108/31/2013

I'm Tilda Swinton's pained expression.

by Anonymousreply 31208/31/2013

I am everyone else in the movie who can magically understand whatever the fuck it is Sylvester Stallone is saying.

by Anonymousreply 31308/31/2013

I'm the incredibly annoying, crazy female that the staid, uptight male falls in love with.

I'm the incredibly annoying, crazy male that the staid, uptight female falls in love with.

by Anonymousreply 31408/31/2013

I'm the stupid, mean, clueless grownups who make life miserable for all poor, mistreated high school students who are just trying to create an identity for themselves and have fun.

by Anonymousreply 31508/31/2013

I'm the lockers in the high school hallway. I'm large enough to fit a body (literally, nerds get shoved in me all the time) and the kids just slam me shut without scrambling the lock or turning a key. My insides are artfully decorated of course.

by Anonymousreply 31608/31/2013

I am the horrifyingly eccentric next door neighbor who terrifies you and might be a serial killer but turns out to be just a misunderstood guy with a heart of gold waiting to be discovered. I will save you from the real serial killer who is super duper successful, upper class, and very, very charming. No one would ever believe it.

by Anonymousreply 31708/31/2013

"I'm the platform shoes that make you think Tom Cruise is at eye-level with the other actors."

I'm the box Tom stands on when he kisses his leading ladies!

by Anonymousreply 31808/31/2013

I'm the 583 candles the female lead keeps on hand for a romantic evening.

by Anonymousreply 31908/31/2013

I'm the captain of the high school football team. I wear my letterman jacket AT ALL TIMES, even indoors or when it's 90 degrees outside. My girlfriend is the head cheerleader and I love beating up the nerdy protagonist of this movie!

by Anonymousreply 32008/31/2013

I'm the superhuman fingertip strength which allows the hero to barely hang on while dangling from a high structure, until help arrives.

by Anonymousreply 32108/31/2013


I'm the casting director who finds an equally annoying, barely-cute actress to play you, because if I ever proved that Megan Fox could act as well as she looked, the women who drag their men to the film would riot, once their boyfriends realize how inferior they are.

by Anonymousreply 32208/31/2013

I'm the non- existent cell coverage and/or the ded cell battery in every horror movie.

by Anonymousreply 32308/31/2013

I am the iconic studio ID at the start of every studio financed or produced movie...

The turning Universal globe

I am the Paramount mountain

I am the Twentieth Century Fox searchlights and classic fanfare

I am the Warner Brothers studio lot aerial view behind the classic WB

I am the Columbia lantern held aloft against the puffy sun-lit clouds

I am Cinderella's castle and Walt Disney's signature

And most famous of all, I am the MGM lion. Hear me roar!

by Anonymousreply 32409/01/2013

I am the Quality Cafe

by Anonymousreply 32509/01/2013

I like a happy ending...

by Anonymousreply 32609/01/2013

I'm the picture perfect skyline view of whatever the major city the lead character lives in that can conveniently be seen from his or her office windows.

by Anonymousreply 32709/01/2013

I am the ending credits.

When viewed in a theatre, 98% of people start to talk and leave during me, but a few stragglers watch me to the end.

by Anonymousreply 32809/01/2013

I am the parking garage where you can do burn outs and have 100 mph chases without so much as hitting a concrete pillar or other car. Alternatively, I can be like Fort Knox to get out of.

by Anonymousreply 32909/01/2013

I'm the tough-as-nails police chief who tells the rogue cop that he's off the case!

by Anonymousreply 33009/01/2013

I'm brushing my teeth but the toothpaste will never foam up at all and I will never stop talking. I will conclude by spitting without ever rinsing.

by Anonymousreply 33109/01/2013

I am the hero in an action movie who never leaves the screen or the scenes and who never once pauses to drink water, eat, or use the toilet.

by Anonymousreply 33209/01/2013

I am the perfectly synched mutual orgasm that happens merely three minutes after the protagonists begin making whoopie in that gratuitous love scene that you were totally expecting.

Oh, and I never cause a wet spot.

by Anonymousreply 33309/01/2013

I am the female scientist. I am played by a hot, big-titted chick in her twenties.

I am the male scientist. I am played by Phillip Seymour Hoffman.

by Anonymousreply 33409/01/2013

R335, you are the OCD patient off her meds. The post wasn't that funny the first time around.


by Anonymousreply 33509/01/2013

I'm vomiting. The actress demurely coughs once or twice and turns her back to the camera. You never get to really see or hear me.

by Anonymousreply 33609/02/2013

I am the lead actor or actress of any movie set in 1900 or before with perfectly clean glossy hair, sparkling clean clothes, Invisaline straightened, pearly whitened teeth and fresh out of shower body.

The extras have a smudge on their right cheek to differentiate them as poor.

by Anonymousreply 33709/02/2013

I'm the dramatic pause just before the lead actress screams at the lead actor that he is a screw-up and it is over once and for all.

If only the lead actor had used me to explain the truth of the matter, the movie could end on the spot. Instead, you will have to suffer through two hours of misunderstandings and angst before the lead actress understands that the lead actor is actually a good person who did something to help his poor mother/roommate/bestfriend.

by Anonymousreply 33809/02/2013

I am the parking ticket you find on your car when you leave the cinema.

by Anonymousreply 33909/02/2013

[quote]I am the empty parking space that is directly in front of the building's entrance

Otherwise known as a "Doris Day Parking Spot"

by Anonymousreply 34009/02/2013

I'm the 8 year-old character speaking with another 8 year-old character and say something wordly-wise.

I have the vocabulary of an adult writer who has probably never met an 8 year-old.

And then, for credibility, the other kid says, "Aw, shucks. Let's go get an ice cream!"

by Anonymousreply 34109/02/2013

[quote]I am the empty parking space that is directly in front of the building's entrance.

Otherwise known as a "Doris Day Parking Spot"

by Anonymousreply 34209/02/2013

"I have the vocabulary of an adult writer who has probably never met an 8 year-old."

You probably sound just like a bitchy, world-weary, 35-year-old screenwriter from New York or Los Angeles! And you probably have a never-ending grab bag of quips and obscure pop culture references from the 80s at your disposal, also!

by Anonymousreply 34309/02/2013

I'm one of the stupid teenagers who decide to investigate what's going on in the derelict mansion where, only a minute ago, we saw a beastly man dragging a screaming young girl.

Calling the police would NEVER cross our minds, because that's not the logical thing to do when you witness an abduction and suspect that something even worse might happen.

Oh, and instead of staying all together to be able to support/defend each other in the case of an attack, we decide to separate, because everyone knows that confronting a deranged, cannibalistic murderer is funnier that way!

Then, we start making all sorts of noises, decide that getting the hell out of that place makes no sense, and wait for the killer to slaughter us one by one, just for the thrill of it.

All of this because we are desperate to win one of those VERY coveted Darwin Awards! We're ambitious like that.

by Anonymousreply 34409/02/2013

R342 You've got it right.

by Anonymousreply 34509/02/2013

I'm the edgy movie's all-too-cool (anti)hero(ine), who nine times out of ten happens to be, you guessed it, a writer.

These movies/TV shows would have you think there are more fully-employed writers in the world than there are, say, meter maids.

by Anonymousreply 34609/02/2013

Somewhat related to R345, I'm the backward little town that people NEVER leave even though lots of terrible things are happening.

Also related....I'm the haunted house that the owners stubbornly refuse to move out of.

by Anonymousreply 34709/02/2013

I'm the nun wearing a heavy black habit. Nevermind Vatican II was over 50 years ago and most American nuns today dress like middle-aged lesbians. I'm great in a comedy because I'll do unexpected things like shoot baskets or check out cute guys.

by Anonymousreply 34809/02/2013

I'm the mother of the leading lady/leading man who in real life is not old enough to be their mother.

by Anonymousreply 34909/02/2013

I'm the ailing hospital patient sleeping flat on my back while my bed is tilted upright at the perfect angle. My bed linens are crisply folded neatly just above my waist. There are no bruises or tubes, nothing but a bouquet of flowers on the stand next to me.

by Anonymousreply 35009/02/2013

I am the messy kitchen table, cluttered countertops and refrigerator strewn with magnets that lets you know that the person who lives here is blue-collar.

by Anonymousreply 35109/02/2013

I'm the light switch at the top of the basement stairs that's suddenly stopped working. How odd!

A character clicks me repeatedly and then goes down in the basement anyway and is murdered.

by Anonymousreply 35209/02/2013

I'm the morbidly obese character. I'm hilarious.

by Anonymousreply 35309/02/2013

I'm a sassy, heavy-set black woman. I'm constantly doing things to get back at my comically racist employers like using the toilet that's indoors or baking my shit in a pie and giving it to the skinny, comically racist white woman who fired me (she immediately starts gobbling down the delicious shit pie like she hasn't eaten in a week).

I'm a weary-looking, worn out black woman with a heart of gold who who is adored by my white employer's blonde, blue-eyed little girl. I teach her self-esteem by having her repeat after me platitudes spoken using atrocious grammar.

by Anonymousreply 35409/02/2013

I see r357 watched The Help!

by Anonymousreply 35509/02/2013

I'm the tree branch banging up against the house, and repeatedly ignored. The final time, I'm the murderer who finally sneaked into the heroine's bedroom, and slashed her, mercilessly.

by Anonymousreply 35609/02/2013

I am the island in the kitchen, where food is being chopped up by one character while another removes something from the oven, to signify the family is preparing a big feast. I am also the big bowl of different kinds of fruit that is always readily available on the island.

by Anonymousreply 35709/03/2013

I am the giant salad that would feed an army sitting on a table occupied by three characters.

by Anonymousreply 35809/03/2013

I am the guy in front of me checking his messages on a tablet-sized smart phone, oblivious to the fact that he is shining a flashlight around the theater.

by Anonymousreply 35909/03/2013

We're the family, friends and neighbors who feel free to drop in any time of day or night on "hosts" who are always showered, dressed and not doing anything in particular that we might be interrupting.

by Anonymousreply 36009/03/2013

I'm the cell phone signal that isn't there when your car breaks down in the woods or crashes into a tree.

by Anonymousreply 36109/03/2013

I am the large, spacious, airy attic chock full of fabulous vintage goodies such as clothes, hats, gadgets, etc all in perfect shape. There is always a gramophone that still works.

by Anonymousreply 36209/03/2013

There is always a vintage dress form up there too, R365

by Anonymousreply 36309/03/2013

In that same attic, there is always an old trunk that has important documents (old letters, birth records, adoption papers, Nazi ID's, etc.) hidden in a secret compartment or behind the lining.

by Anonymousreply 36409/03/2013

I'm New York City, the population of which is 99% white and heterosexual.

by Anonymousreply 36509/03/2013

I'm the baguette sticking out of there heroine's shopping bag as she strolls home in the city.

by Anonymousreply 36609/03/2013

I'm the rusty spring on the screened door in the horror or suspense film set in the American South. I open close slowly, creakily at first and then snap with a force that startles the person who has just wandered into a stranger's back door with barely a 'Yohoo?' Bad things are to come.

I'm the bottom few steps of the basement stairway to the embalming room in a creepy old house made over as funeral home. You can always see me in the background as a reminder that you are underground, where dead people and scary things are found.

I'm the corridor just outside the apartment door of our heroine who is just barely getting by on her slim wages. At each interval between apartment doors I'm filled with early 19thC Boston neoclassical mahogany tables, and antique crackle-glaze ginger jar lamps. My floors are immaculate, and my walls tastefully painted and hung with large framed Piranesi engravings in expensive frames. Few elite apartment buildings are so lavishly appointed, yet here I am, a working girl's cold water flat on an iffy, not quite yet gentrified street.

by Anonymousreply 36709/03/2013

I'm the laws of physics in an action movie.

by Anonymousreply 36809/03/2013

You're 360 posts too late for that worn out old meme, R369. How 'bout reading before you post.

by Anonymousreply 36909/03/2013

I am the TV no one watches.

by Anonymousreply 37009/03/2013

I'm the few random Caucasians inexplicably cast to be part of the strangely multicultural gang that is terrorizing the two main characters on their date in the big city.

by Anonymousreply 37109/03/2013

I'm the multitude of lights that are never turned on in a suspense film. After hearing something strange in the house, instead of lighting up the house like a Christmas tree, it's easier to scuttle about in the soft blue moonlight cascading through the many uncovered floor to ceiling windows. I'm carrying a bat that happened to be in the hallway after getting out of bed next to the unused phone on the nightstand. I'll call out, "Who's there?" as if I expect a rational answer.

by Anonymousreply 37209/03/2013

I'm the alley in Manhattan. I can be found anywhere, even Midtown. Be careful when walking past me, a tough-talking white guy with a concealed gun will shoot! I'm scattered with dented metal garbage cans and great wads of bunched up newspaper, with a soggy lettuce leaf or two.

by Anonymousreply 37309/03/2013

I'm R338. I'll joke about how gross the actors in said movie look unless they're made up as described.

by Anonymousreply 37409/03/2013

I'm the spot your eyes rest on in the background to avoid looking at Steve Buscemi's googly eyes. You don't even realize you're looking at me.

by Anonymousreply 37509/03/2013

I am the collective, uncomfortable, barely perceptible but universally acknowledged feeling of awkwardness in the audience when closeted actors think they're passing. I make an appearance in "Sommersby", "Contact", "All of Me" and "Moment By Moment".

by Anonymousreply 37609/03/2013

LOL at R378. For years I had a mental block of his name and I used to call him the ugly guy. My best friend/movie buddy always knew exactly who I was talking about.

by Anonymousreply 37709/03/2013

I am the Italian American character. They may as well pump garlic aroma into the theater and start the first chords of The Godfather score when I appear on screen, because that's what you're all already thinking anyway.

by Anonymousreply 37809/03/2013

Did anyone mention the loaf of bread sticking out of the shopping bag yet?

by Anonymousreply 37909/03/2013

I'm the classic rock song blaring as the main characters speed down a deserted highway.

by Anonymousreply 38009/03/2013

I am the cup of coffee female characters always caress with both hands while sipping.

by Anonymousreply 38109/03/2013

I am the drinks that are ordered but never consumed because the protagonists dash out of the bar on an emergency mission without paying I might add.

by Anonymousreply 38209/03/2013

I'm the emotionally immature, self-centered, vapid, superficial and stupid but oh-so-cute and quirky romantic heroine who has a very badly paid job, but has spectacular apartment and has the most élite friends imaginable, even though I'm an uneducated fool... It must be the pretty smile, big eyes and great boobs!

I meet this seemingly uptight, neurotic and very successful rich guy who comes from an old money family. Our first dates go terribly wrong, but are so hilarious that you won't be able to keep from laughing! Even though we are totally mismatched, we keep seeing each other (it must be the fact that I am a total whore in bed, even though that's never really shown in the cheesy "love making" scenes between us).

He falls in love with me because I'm a loveable idiot, and takes me to meet his parents. They are stuffy, cold and disdainful, and I make a fool of myself time and time again. My boyfriend is occasionally amused, but mostly embarrassed, until his cunty mother calls his bitchy, stuck up ex-girlfriend, who tries to win him back by competing with me, the endearing retard. After inexplicable misunderstandings and pointless drama, we separate - however, before he marries that horrible ex-girlfriend bitch, there's a contrived twist in the plot that makes him realize that I'm The One, and he wants me and me alone!

He comes running after me when I'm about to leave, and he tells me to give him another chance. I say "NO!", he says "YES!", I say "NO!" and then my comic relief token black/gay/ugly/fat/old best friend shouts "LISTEN TO HIM, YOU IMBECILIC SLUT!" and I realize that I love him, too! OMG!

We end up getting married, his parents accept me (and receive a mild humiliation during the wedding in a really not-so-comical scene), and everyone ends up having SOOOOO much fun and being so happy - especially me, brain-dead, uneducated, fucking stupid Cinderella!

Oh, I love romantic comedies.

by Anonymousreply 38309/03/2013

I am the splash of scotch the character pours into a glass to "sip" on that in real life would be consumed before most of us sat down.

by Anonymousreply 38409/03/2013

I'm r372, whom everyone wishes had attended that midnight showing of The Dark Knight Rises in Colorado.

by Anonymousreply 38509/03/2013

I'm the hail of 10 million bullets, all of which miraculously miss our hero, who is directly in the line of fire.

by Anonymousreply 38609/03/2013

I'm James Woods, and I'm making your skin crawl.

by Anonymousreply 38709/03/2013

"I am the Italian American character. They may as well pump garlic aroma into the theater and start the first chords of The Godfather score when I appear on screen, because that's what you're all already thinking anyway."

There's a 90% chance I will be either a dumb guido/guidette or a mobster!

by Anonymousreply 38809/03/2013

r391---or the ancient grandmother in the backround cooking enough food to feed everyone in Sicily. Oh, and the 2,000 y/o "Nonna" is dressed all in black, completes with headscarf. I brandish a wooden spoon and yell" Basta" at my enormous familia!

by Anonymousreply 38909/03/2013

I'm the clueless husband or newly single father who was to take care of the house and kids for the first time.

I pour the entire box of laundry detergent in the washer, suck up the curtains with the vacuum cleaner and end up burning everything on the stove while the blender explodes, splashing its contents on the ceiling.

by Anonymousreply 39009/03/2013

I am the token actor with a British accent in an American movie. I will be playing the part of the gay best friend, the butler, and/or the cunning international villain.

by Anonymousreply 39109/03/2013

I'm the husband who still can't remember our wedding anniversary even after all these years because that's what married white men do.

by Anonymousreply 39209/03/2013

I am the rainy funeral where every character just happens to have a black umbrella. Not one character has to resort to grabbing a brightly colored umbrella splashed with insurance agency advertising from under the car seat.

by Anonymousreply 39309/04/2013

Further to R397: I am the surprisingly smart and well-tailored mourning clothes that young people of modest means, even children seem able to produce from their closets - as though they are much in the habit of attending funerals and want to look good doing so.

I am the flip-side notable exception to this rule, in the young or young-at-heart protagonist who appears at the funeral, late always (and often straight from the train station or airport), in something pulled from the bottom of the dirty clothes hamper, a rumpled Oxford-cloth shirt tail hanging out and no tie - the better to see the lettering of a rakish t-shirt underneath, maybe with "GUINNESS" or some rude message. (Or I may be the waifish girl who wears black but an Amazing Technicolor Dream of a garish scarf or do-rag/turban: "Don't look at me! Whatever you do, don't look at me!")

by Anonymousreply 39409/04/2013

I am the Transylvanian village right next to count Dracula's castle, but I honestly don't have a clue who count Dracula is.

by Anonymousreply 39509/04/2013

I am the annoyingly earnest acoustic singer-songwriter soundtrack accompanying any indie romantic comedy.

by Anonymousreply 39609/04/2013

I'm the religious scene in the movie. If it calls for a somber or scary scene, then I take place in a Catholic church, usually some large cathedral-type building, where's it's usually dark with life-sized statues and wall-to-wall lit candles. There's usually an old lady in there praying a rosary.

If it calls for a light-hearted scene, then I take place in a Protestant church. The building is usually white, with large front doors and exactly two rows of pews with one aisle down the middle. The parishioners are dressed in their Sunday best, with many ladies in colorful dresses and large floppy hats. Everyone pays rapt attention to the minister, unless the choir is playing loud soul music, which Queen Latifah may or may not singing as the lead.

The exception to the light-hearted scenario taking place in a Protestant church is the wedding. In that case, I also take place in a Catholic church, with the bride dressed in a beautiful white dress and long flowing veil, even though she's a whore and banged the lead actor, and possibly other characters, on several occasions. Sometimes it's a joint Catholic and Jewish service. In that case, the scene may end with a lound stomp on a glass and/or one or more old lady guests end up crying.

And the priest/minister NEVER touches anyone else's nono.

by Anonymousreply 39709/04/2013

I am the 555 phone number that is so laughably fake it takes you right out of the story.

by Anonymousreply 39809/04/2013

I'm the crowd at the wedding party or ceremony that's going on while the rom-com couple, one of whom is there as a guest or a hired employee and the other of whom has crashed the place, feverishly decide they were meant to be together. I'll sit by patiently as these two make a scene and then burst into applause when they finally kiss, instead of being angry that two nobodies have totally derailed the event they are attending.

by Anonymousreply 39909/04/2013

I'm the epilogue you never see when the couple who have fallen madly in love over the course of a week realize they really can't stand one another and have a noisy and acrimonious breakup and then never see each other again.

by Anonymousreply 40009/04/2013

[quote]the bride dressed in a beautiful white dress and long flowing veil, even though she's a whore and banged the lead actor, and possibly other characters, on several occasions.

Welcome, time traveler from 1940 @ R401. WTF!! All brides wear white. It's tradition, and has nothing to do with virginity--hasn't for at least 60 years, .

And who that's even alive today would call a woman a "whore" for having sex with her fiance before the wedding? Dear God! Get back in your time machine, gramps. You don't belong in 2013.

by Anonymousreply 40109/04/2013

I am R405, and I am unreasonably angry and in need of significant counseling.

by Anonymousreply 40209/04/2013

I'm a Catholic church in an urban setting. It could be midnight but my doors are open, although I'm empty and the lights are spooky low. Candles are lit though, casting eerie shadows on the statuary. Everyone comes inside, villains or heroes. If the villain shoots his gun, usually a priest appears.

by Anonymousreply 40309/04/2013

I'm R405. I stuff my face with popcorn and cry during EVERY wedding scene ever created (because they're my FAAAVORITE!; I like to pretend I'm the Julia Roberts character).

I cry uncontrollably (but I keep it all on the inside because Heaven forbid anyone think that I have human feelings!).

If an unruly tear should escape, I turn that side of my face away from the nearest movie patron and wipe the damn tear away while pretending to nonchalantly scratch my face.

As always, I leave the movie theater alone. But not before getting my free popcorn refill.

by Anonymousreply 40409/04/2013

About the white dress at a wedding. This has been such an anglo-saxon thing for the longest time.

In other Catholic countries, the virgin = white dress hasn't cuaght up until after WW2. Before that, you could see a lot of devout maiden being married in blue, dark purple, brown, etc. Marriage was considered a serious matter, therefore you wore serious colors. Not frivolous white.

Now back to the topic : I'm the only girl in the world.

Men fall in love only with ME and never fall in love with another and forget me if I'm absent of their lives for a few years. Because, I'm the only girl in the film, and presumably the only girl in the world.

If I'm from an aristocratic family, then my possessive brother falls in love with me, because aristorcats are all like that, and my poor brother doesn't have a lot of options anyway.

by Anonymousreply 40509/04/2013

Queen Victoria's daughters and grandaughters all wore white for their (19th century) weddings.

by Anonymousreply 40609/04/2013

Yes, R410.

It was an "English thing" that took years before becoming a standard in other European cultures. For instance, my grandmother got married in 1935 and wore a velvet burgundy dress. It was not percieved at all as a sign of her not being a virgin. So there.

by Anonymousreply 40709/04/2013

I am the tedious history lesson that is totally irrelevant to the plot.

by Anonymousreply 40809/04/2013

I am the lethal bucket of water that shouldn't be anywhere within 300 miles of a witch, but happens to be sitting nearby as she sets fire to a man made of straw.

by Anonymousreply 40909/04/2013

I'm the ne'er do well but loveable sibling of the protagonist. I get myself into so much trouble all the time but I really don't mean it. And this time I've really done it.

But while my hero/heroine sibling goes through hell (usually involving explosions, cops chasing us, falling off something tall, fist fights and in the end a complicated grift that finally sets everything straight because we got the bad guy on tape and played it for the cranky skeptical police chief, my sibling discovers that there's so much more to life and he/she makes the decision to quit the shit job and really LIVE life, like I do, only without the fucking up part.

by Anonymousreply 41009/04/2013

I'm the gay guy who provides advice to lovelorn straights

by Anonymousreply 41109/05/2013

I like you, R412. Come sit next to me.

by Anonymousreply 41209/05/2013

I'm the villain falling to his or her death!

(Seriously, how many movies involve the villain falling off a building or a cliff, or out of a window? It seems like this happens in so many thriller-type movies)

by Anonymousreply 41309/06/2013

I'm the person who knows a crucial piece of information and tries desperately to tell the adult who is about to make a disastrous mistake, but is put off repeatedly, being told "Quiet, John, we are doing something very important. It will have to wait 'til later, John, now go away!"

by Anonymousreply 41409/06/2013

I'm the B-lister in the lead role. We all know this piece of shit was passed on by every A-lister before it landed in my lap, but let's just pretend its salvageable.

by Anonymousreply 41509/06/2013

"I'm the B-lister in the lead role. We all know this piece of shit was passed on by every A-lister before it landed in my lap, but let's just pretend its salvageable."

You are Charlie Hunnam and Dakota Johnson

by Anonymousreply 41609/06/2013

I'm the comped meal, with fine Champagne added compliments of the house, that the pricy restaurant awards patrons with mild complaints such as food that's too cold, doesn't taste good, or is cooked wrong.

I don't exist in real life.

by Anonymousreply 41709/06/2013

I am the insects who never appear unless we are related in some way to the plot.

I am the gnat, the fly, the spider, the moth, the ants, the waterbugs, the crickets....all of us who do not enter the dwelling even though there are no screens to keep us out and doors and windows are always kept wide open with lamps brightly lit.

ps: lack of screens is one of my pet movie/tv peeves)

by Anonymousreply 41809/07/2013

I'm the long cable knit sweater that the R384 character wears while cradling her coffee cup with both hands. My character wears me when she wants to reflect on something and her hair is perfectly mussed.

by Anonymousreply 41909/07/2013

I'm the accordion music that plays in every single outdoor Paris scene ever filmed.

by Anonymousreply 42009/08/2013

I am the glass pitcher of orange juice on the breakfast table instead of the plastic bottle or carton.

by Anonymousreply 42109/09/2013

An otherwise brilliant number (everything from choreography to costumes, from camera shots to underlying drama, from the dancers to Miss Warwick) slightly ruined by the empty suitcase syndrome.

by Anonymousreply 42209/09/2013

I am the earnest apology a parent delivers to their young child, usually when the child is in bed.

by Anonymousreply 42309/09/2013

"I am the earnest apology a parent delivers to their young child, usually when the child is in bed."

You're apologizing because you're a workaholic who couldn't be bothered to attend junior's little league game, you meanie!

by Anonymousreply 42409/09/2013

I'm the pregnancy used as a plot device. I'm the result of a single episode of intercourse between the hero and heroine and I can occur at any time during the heroine's monthly cycle.

by Anonymousreply 42509/11/2013

I am the leafy greens sticking out of the grocery bag.

by Anonymousreply 42609/11/2013

I'm the waiter or waitress in a silly costumer like a lobster outfit!

by Anonymousreply 42709/11/2013

[quote] I'm the ne'er do well but loveable sibling of the protagonist. I get myself into so much trouble all the time but I really don't mean it. And this time I've really done it.

If I'm male, I'm fat and have a beard.

by Anonymousreply 42809/11/2013

I'm the serial killer. I'm incredibly brilliant and my crimes have meaning. The clues I leave all point to my identity, but none of them are forensic. No. They're song lyrics, or bible verses or something I've stuffed in the victims' mouths or some disfigurement that shows up identically on every victim. You'll just have to puzzle it out and then you'll find me.

It's not like I'm just some random opportunistic killer who kills random people and tries not to get caught.

by Anonymousreply 42909/11/2013

I'm the architect who's married to the veterinarian. We never go to work.

by Anonymousreply 43009/11/2013

I'm the immigrant who is the only character in the movie who is allowed to be ungrammatical.

by Anonymousreply 43109/11/2013

I am the real pine garlands and pine swags that appear at Christmas in middle class homes. I bear red plaid bows made of fine fabric and genuine pine cones.


by Anonymousreply 43209/11/2013

I am the string of green-wired, randomly flickering multicolored lights crookedly tacked onto the wall of the poor people's homes at Christmas. Sometimes I'm accompanied by a piece of fluffy gold garland that is haphazardly draped on top of a picture on the wall.

by Anonymousreply 43309/11/2013

I am the street whore who is a beautiful woman with a fit, toned body. I do not use drugs, nor do I have missing teeth or venereal disease.

by Anonymousreply 43401/14/2015

I'm the fruit cart that gets knocked over.

by Anonymousreply 43501/14/2015

I'm the random black lady sitting on a park bench, who tries to console the frustrated and confused protagonist - but unwittingly gives him a tiny but crucial clue that helps him with his quest.

by Anonymousreply 43601/14/2015

I'm the woman who tries to run through grass in high heels and inevitably falls, letting her chasers catch up with her, but just at the last second gets up and escapes.

by Anonymousreply 43701/14/2015

I'm the obnoxious and disheveled roommate, added into the script purely for comic relief.

by Anonymousreply 43801/14/2015

I'm the blur/wobble transition between a memory flashback and the regular scene.

by Anonymousreply 43901/14/2015

I'm the cat that always runs across the hall during a creepy search.

by Anonymousreply 44001/14/2015

I'm the loaf of French bread that is always sticking up out of the grocery bag brought home.

by Anonymousreply 44101/14/2015

I'm the job that everyone has, but nobody ever goes to work at.

by Anonymousreply 44201/14/2015

I'm the phone which, when someone hangs up on someone, gets looked at, like I did it, not the person.

by Anonymousreply 44301/14/2015

I'm the cat that steals the scene even though I do nothing.

by Anonymousreply 44401/14/2015

I'm the cocaine use the actors in the movie have been indulging in between takes, the effects of which are obvious to the audience members who know what being coked-out looks like.

by Anonymousreply 44501/14/2015

I'm the kind and consoling nurse, who has only 2 lines, and that's her entire movie career.

by Anonymousreply 44601/14/2015

I'm the guy who fists everything that walks

by Anonymousreply 44701/14/2015

I’m the manicured thumb holding R137’s handwritten letter, which is clearly not the thumb of the actor reading it.

by Anonymousreply 44801/15/2015

I'm the wet streets at night...even in the desert every movie you've ever seen

by Anonymousreply 44901/15/2015

I’m the baby looking off camera at a familiar face and taking us out of the scene.

by Anonymousreply 45001/16/2015

I am one half of myself, as the child I never was.. being strangled by the severed arm of my estranged father that was waiting in my first present, at my first birthday party. Now I am just a twitch.

by Anonymousreply 45101/16/2015

I'm the deleted scene that clarifies what became a major plot hole in the theatrical cut.

by Anonymousreply 45201/16/2015

I’m the faded, rear projection in a driving scene that's more interesting to look at than the actors.

by Anonymousreply 45301/16/2015

I'm the hat, hood, collar, scenery or prop object that attempts to conceal the stand-in or stunt actor's face.

by Anonymousreply 45401/16/2015

I'm the generic Southern drawl that everyone has if the movie is set in the South. Doesn't matter if it's set in East Texas, New Orleans, Tennessee or Georgia.

by Anonymousreply 45501/16/2015

I'm the "Magical Negro" character, often the second lead who will fill you with folksy knowledge and self-esteem.....if you're white!

I never display even the slightest flicker of anger about all that has been denied me. I'm almost a superhero!

by Anonymousreply 45601/16/2015

I am a quiche, an apple pie, two couch cushions, I am woman.

by Anonymousreply 45701/16/2015

I am the hangover that the character has the morning after a night of heavy drinking.

I disappear magically as soon as the character gets up from bed or off the couch where he/she spent the night, unlike my real-life counterpart, which sticks around until dinnertime.

by Anonymousreply 45801/16/2015

[quote]I'm the "Magical Negro" character, often the second lead who will fill you with folksy knowledge and self-esteem.....if you're white!

[quote]I never display even the slightest flicker of anger about all that has been denied me. I'm almost a superhero!

I also display no interest in members of my own culture unless s/he is my main squeeze but s/he has to be practically white, just like me.

by Anonymousreply 45901/16/2015

I'm low-hanging fog, illuminated by bluish-white lights off camera.

by Anonymousreply 46001/17/2015

I'm that unique scene that has no equivalent in any other movie, and I always appear somewhere between the 25% mark and 50% mark of the running time.

by Anonymousreply 46101/17/2015

I'm the orchestra playing violins and other string instruments by plucking them, not bowing them, in a bouncy, carefree background score as the child protagonists embark on an adventure.

by Anonymousreply 46201/17/2015

I'm the director's inability to stage a scene, forcing him to resort to quick cutting in order to create the illusion of dramatic tension.

by Anonymousreply 46301/17/2015

I'm the teensy airplane that is flying in the dark of night, in a terrible thunderstorm, and my engine starts to sputter.

by Anonymousreply 46401/17/2015

I'm the edit where the sound of the next scene begins before the visual cut.

For example, two people are shown walking away on a beach, with only the soothing sound of seagulls. While they are still shown walking into the distance, a loud voice with a slight echo is heard. About 5 seconds later, the visual finally cuts to a courtroom, and only then do you see the person whose voice it is - a lawyer talking loudly in court.

by Anonymousreply 46501/17/2015

I'm the nun on that plane, and you better believe I brought my guitar.

by Anonymousreply 46601/17/2015

I'm the cue mark that indicates to the projectionist that it's time to change the reel. Digital projection made me extinct.

by Anonymousreply 46701/17/2015

I'm the coffee you poured in the cup, and never drank. Hold me Gerald, I'm cold!

I'm the pancakes he didn't want so now she's throwing me away!

by Anonymousreply 46801/17/2015

I'm the slight cough that begins early in the movie and worsens about half way through. Yes, I'm going to kill the lead character.

by Anonymousreply 46901/17/2015

I'm the increase in grain during a special effects shot caused by the fact that dupe stock was quite shitty until the mid-1980s.

by Anonymousreply 47001/17/2015

I'm the line that doesn't exist.

Nobody ever has to actually wait in line for anything.

by Anonymousreply 47101/17/2015


I was fired around, oh, 1971 or thereabouts.

My replacement was "First Assistant Director." How charming.

But my European cousin, FIN, still gets steady work.

by Anonymousreply 47201/17/2015

I'm the spinning newspaper headline.

by Anonymousreply 47301/17/2015

I'm the romantic subplot, that continues on even as the entire Earth is under attack by massive, unknown forces or aliens.

by Anonymousreply 47401/17/2015

I'm the direct-to-video sequel starring a cast of younger, no name actors.

by Anonymousreply 47501/17/2015

We're the two characters (usually of opposite gender) that meet during the course of a movie and realize they had a past together, either work or romantic, that is unrelated to the current plot.

by Anonymousreply 47601/17/2015

I'm all the ridiculous things the handsome male lead has to go through to get laid by the barely-cute, high-maintenance, mentally ill, incredibly annoying female lead.

by Anonymousreply 47701/17/2015


In "Rocky IV," during the second round, Tony Evers (the trainer) yells "He's cut!" righ before Rocky hits Drago and cuts him.

by Anonymousreply 47801/17/2015


You mean the shrew ex-wife from Outbreak, Armageddon, Independence Day, The Day After Tomorrow, and 2012?

by Anonymousreply 47901/17/2015


Like the scene in "The Patriot" where Corwallis warns Tavington not to lead the charge in the battle of Cowpens which would have explained why, in the theatrical cut, Cornwallis said "Damn him. Damn that man!" after Tavington did in fact lead the charge.

In the deleted scene, Cornwallis warns Tavington that he can "forget about Ohio" if he does this.

by Anonymousreply 48001/17/2015

I'm the too-fast zoom shot in kung fu movies.

by Anonymousreply 48101/17/2015

I'm the tight, buttcrack-revealing pants on the male dancers in a movie musical.

by Anonymousreply 48201/17/2015

I'm the wires that hold up people to make them look like they can fly.

by Anonymousreply 48301/17/2015

I'm the homophobic wisecrack the Good Guy makes early on so the audience doesn't think he's a fruit, even if the actor playing him is one.

by Anonymousreply 48401/17/2015

I'm the can of Coca-Cola that the character drinking it always holds at an angle so the logo can always be seen.

by Anonymousreply 48501/17/2015

I'm the adorable, amazingly compelx, adultified child.

by Anonymousreply 48601/17/2015

We're the 2 unfulfilled dreams, which 2 characters (usually a lead and a minor character, who have nothing in common) confide to each other, halfway through the movie, and bond over that confidence. By movie's end, both dreams are fulfilled, but in unexpected ways.

by Anonymousreply 48701/17/2015

R479 - yes, and even in things like "Plan 9 From Outer Space."

by Anonymousreply 48801/17/2015

I'm the stock footage that's obvious.

by Anonymousreply 48901/17/2015

I'm the desultory, cynical waitress. "five Easy Oieces" made it so that no waitress could ever be content or cheerful.

by Anonymousreply 49001/17/2015

I'm the champagne bottle chilling in a bucket of ice, with a fire in the fireplace and soft saxophone music coming from somewhaere, all indicating that a sexy, romantic evening lies ahead.

by Anonymousreply 49101/17/2015

I'm the bottom half of of the O and the top half of the T in the vertical flashing red neon HOTEL sign visible out the fourth floor window of the seedy establishment, even with the tattered curtains drawn.

by Anonymousreply 49201/17/2015

I'm the odd semi-friendship that develops between the hero and villain.

by Anonymousreply 49301/17/2015

I'm the wartime flashback that illustrates why a certain thing still disturbs a particular character.

by Anonymousreply 49401/17/2015

I'm the cheekbone scrape.

by Anonymousreply 49501/17/2015

I'm one of those little one-frame spots that flash randomly here and there in old films.

And hi! I'm that vertical line that dances around from time to time!

by Anonymousreply 49601/17/2015

I am the howling wind battering the shutters, heralding the approach of Something Terrible!

by Anonymousreply 49701/18/2015

I am Toronto, trying too hard to be NYC, LA, Chicago, ANY other city.

I am actors with bit parts, not trying hard ENOUGH to hide my Canadian accent ("oot and aboot"!)

I am extras; excuse-moi, background artists, trying too hard to have animated conversations in restaurant scenes.

by Anonymousreply 49801/18/2015

r498, I totally agree about the Canadian accents. I notice this in a lot of shows that take place in the US but are filmed in Canada.

by Anonymousreply 49901/18/2015

I am the dry leaves blowing across the landscape to denote the passage of time.

by Anonymousreply 50001/18/2015

I'm the tiny, old lady that swears like a sailor - HILARIOUS!

by Anonymousreply 50101/18/2015

I'm the rippling dissolve effect, that looks like the film is being held under water, to segue into a flashback scene.

by Anonymousreply 50201/18/2015

I'm the hero getting thrown through a window or glass door, which is only slightly uncomfortable and does not cause life-threatening injuries.

by Anonymousreply 50301/18/2015

I'm the ventilation duct that's big enough for a man to crawl through and conveniently located for quick escape.

by Anonymousreply 50401/18/2015

I'm the thin red scrape on one upper arm that is the only visible injury the hero sustains after being shoved through a plate glass window, hurled off a cliff, or forced to outrun an enormous explosion.

by Anonymousreply 50501/18/2015

I'm the world weary, middle aged waitress who works in the quaint, retro diner the leads eat at. I chew gum, wear cat glasses and have a beehive hair-do. I'll call you "hun" and make wisecracks about the food / cook. My name is Betty or Shirley. I will say something profound about life or love that will give you a "Eureka!" moment as you run out he door and act on my wisdom.

"You're right, Betty! I CAN'T just give up! I LOVE HER! I HAVE to get her back!"

"Do what you gotta do, hun!"

I'll then give a little chuckle and shake my head as I clean up your table, not being mad that you skipped out on the bill or didn't leave me a tip.

by Anonymousreply 50601/18/2015

I'm the reassuring Normal Joe the hero encounters just before entering a dystopian world from which he can never return.

by Anonymousreply 50701/18/2015

I'm the blip in the space-time continuum that allows for added suspense as three minutes of real time action are packed into the two minutes that are supposedly ticking down on the time bomb.

by Anonymousreply 50801/18/2015

I'm the sassy no-nonsense black female judge.

by Anonymousreply 50901/18/2015

I'm the photo album that gets hauled out to reveal backstory.

by Anonymousreply 51001/18/2015

I'm the drink packed with ice cubes at the beginning of a forty second scene. Sometimes I disappear & reappear (sometimes over & over!). But most times I'm just gone at the end of the scene.

by Anonymousreply 51101/18/2015

I'm the CGI creature who is supposed to be lovable, but I am only infuriatingly annoying with veiled yet easy to decipher racist overtones.

by Anonymousreply 51201/18/2015

I'm the seatbelt than is never worn by the driver and passenger in a car chase. I'm also the missing rear-view mirror.

by Anonymousreply 51301/18/2015

I'm the smashed mirror the drunk, bitter, washed-up old screen star stares at after she shatters me with a tumbler of scotch.

by Anonymousreply 51401/18/2015

Lol at R506.

I'm the dusty attic, with a box of family mementoes. A 40-year-old character will discover me and sit for a while going through all of my contents, smiling wistfully at the memories represented by each object. The person will do this in the cluttered attic, even though it would be far more comfortable to bring the box downstairs and just sit on the couch with it.

by Anonymousreply 51501/18/2015

I am the lush house plants that thrive anywhere they are placed and forgotten, even in low light hallways and north sides!

by Anonymousreply 51601/18/2015

I'm the garbage truck. When I'm not waiting around to cushion our protagonist's dramatic falls from rooftops, I moonlight as an actual working garbage truck for the city!

by Anonymousreply 51701/18/2015

I'm the insufferably twee, elementary school play/holiday concert with a $2 million set and every background-actor parent patiently recording each grating moment, all wearing the same Stepford shit-eating grin.

by Anonymousreply 51801/18/2015

I'm the blank license plate.

by Anonymousreply 51901/18/2015

I only wake up from nightmares by shooting straight up in bed, eyes wide open, sweat on my forehead, with a small shriek.

by Anonymousreply 52001/18/2015

I'm the 100mph car chase through the streets of Manhattan that does not encounter any gridlock.

by Anonymousreply 52101/18/2015

I'm the 555+ number that will only reach Directory Assistance if dialed in non-cinematic reality.

by Anonymousreply 52201/18/2015

I'm the thick hair plugs and semi-discreet plastic surgery sported by an American sniper in the sands of Afghanistan.

by Anonymousreply 52301/18/2015

I'm the weird portable police siren that's pulled out from who knows where and placed on the rooftop drivers side after getting a call and or realizing I need to get somewhere fast.

by Anonymousreply 52401/18/2015

I'm the contemporary American English that is spoken regardless of the historical period.

by Anonymousreply 52501/18/2015

I'm the run-down American dive bar in a small Midwestern town, complete with pool table, neon beer signs and motorcycles outside - yet inexplicably packed with gorgeous twentysomethings of both sexes.

by Anonymousreply 52601/18/2015

I'm six dozen cream pies that just happen to be sitting out on a table at the swell society affair where the Three Stooges are determined to make a good impression.

by Anonymousreply 52701/18/2015

We already are things that happen in a movie.

by Anonymousreply 52801/18/2015

I'm the non-itchy plump cushion placed between the two white leads, conveniently sized to allow endless intrigue over Did They, or Didn't They?

by Anonymousreply 52901/18/2015

I'm the disregard for the laws of physics that allows a lot of formerly dead Disney characters to come back to life.

by Anonymousreply 53001/19/2015
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