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Do you feel guilty for having money?

I'm not even rich. Just an average job and don't overspend.

Yet it feels like people are always oh..."must be nice" whenever I say I do something. PLUS it is so hypocritical. The last person who said this to me is sending facebook photos from all over Europe I'm at working, then working on a freelance business I'm trying to start and then watching Big Brother!

by Anonymousreply 3807/27/2013

I don't but then I wouldn't feel guilty if I were poor either. Why should I? I didn't get my money through criminal or morally repugnant acts. That would be different.

by Anonymousreply 107/24/2013

Guilty of what. I work 12 hour days. I work hard. Why would one feel guilty for that?

by Anonymousreply 207/24/2013

I guess I'm wondering why people try to make you feel guilty. (and why I let them)

by Anonymousreply 307/24/2013

I did for a while, now it is more that I just feel very grateful.

by Anonymousreply 407/24/2013

I feel guilty for not having it

by Anonymousreply 507/24/2013

OP, when they say "it must be nice", smile and say "yes, it is."

by Anonymousreply 607/24/2013

I don't feel the need to justify, explain, excuse, or feel guilty for or about anything in my life.

by Anonymousreply 707/24/2013

I felt kind of guilty when I saw an old woman get arrested today at the grocery store for stealing food. Wish I could have helped her, but there were 3 cops with her. It was a sad sight.

by Anonymousreply 807/24/2013

Inheritor here. I felt guilty for much of my life, but as I've gotten older, much less so. You have to be grateful, and appreciative though, every day, and not take it for granted- which I do not. And, I have taken what I was left , and built on that, through wise investing. I am an only child also, have no children, or partner, so my wealth will be left to 3 charities - HIV research, Animal Rescue, & Mental Health, with the balance going the friends, who have little. I am leaving nothing to other family members, as they are well set, and I have seen them flit away their wealth, superficially, on expensive homes, cars, trips,etc. I live well, but other than nice trips & hotels, 1 nice car, and a vacation home, I am conservative with my money.

by Anonymousreply 907/24/2013

That helped r9. Thank you. I think I need your attitude.

by Anonymousreply 1007/24/2013

Wealth is one thing, 'class' is another. And as the saying goes , you can't buy class. Not the economical term - the manners, attitude, grace, understanding, & empathy kind of class. Some of the wealthiest people I know are some of the crudest, bigoted, foul people imaginable. And some of the least wealthy I've known, have been the most stylish, kind , intelligent people. You absolutely cannot equate one with the other.

by Anonymousreply 1107/25/2013

I think it depends on how far back the wealth goes. Of course a new money asshole's kids aren't going to have a lot of class. Then again, look at the Hiltons, that's some trashy old money. You also have Ivana Trump who is only second generation and managed to not be a jackass.

by Anonymousreply 1207/25/2013

I'm better off than most but very conservative. Lately (recent years,) I've noticed how anxious to get ahold of it many people have become.

by Anonymousreply 1307/25/2013

I am very comfortable financial and I do NOT feel guilty ever. I know what you mean OP I always get comments like "It's alright for some". My attitude is I do not feel guilty as everything I have is bought and paid for and I've worked hard for everything. I always said if you want what I have work as hard as I do.

My sister's sister-in-law is the worse culpit, she has not worked a day in the time that I have know her and she is usually the first one to comment.

Next time tell them I make no apologies for what I have as I have worked hard for it.

by Anonymousreply 1407/25/2013

" I always said if you want what I have work as hard as I do."

Yeah, it's not easy. What a dumb thing to say.

by Anonymousreply 1507/25/2013

Thank you R16. I inherited money from my grandparents, I'm not wealthy I'm comfortable. I know how lucky I am. I also know people like R16, some of whom inherrited their money, some who didnt and they are all delusional. None of them ever mentions the sheer luck also involved, they're all self made you know.

R16 try telling that to a migrant worker, I'm sure he'll be enlightened to hear of your "hard work."

by Anonymousreply 1707/25/2013

I completely agree, R16, working hard doesn't equate eventually becoming wealthy.

Most CEOs and upper management people don't know the first thing about what it takes their staff to make them look good and become rich. Their staff consists of the hard workers, not them. Most bosses are overpaid figureheads and blowhards.

I had one of the most vile bosses on the planet. He was the Creative Director of an in-house fashion company's art department.

This schmuck sat in his office all day reading fashion magazines, gossiping on the phone and smoking! He really lit up when he left with his also grossly overpaid 'Fashion Editor' to attend photo shoots, where the company covered their elaborate lunches, while his art department was always questioned about their art supply costs, this was pre-computers. Actual art supplies were needed to work on the art, the ads etc.

In addition to this creep hardly working, to add insult to injury, his yearly bonus was more than three of his staffs salaries combined. He was basically rewarded for doing nothing. Right after my co-op mortgage was paid, I made a point to get out of there.

People like this jerk never know what it's like to work their way up the ladder, he never struggled like the rest of the world, he went right from college directly into his field, then rapidly ascended without much effort let alone talent. The gossip was he had major dirt on the CEO, a man who later committed suicide. That might have been the reason why such useless unqualified person stayed in his job for so many years.

It was mind boggling to see that the graphic designers were more talented than this jerk, they were also smart enough to get out quickly. It was a revolving door of graphics people, they couldn't believe how talent free, arrogant and obnoxious this guy was. One person barely lasted three weeks!

I can't believe some of the posts in this thread, that so many people can be so naive to think that most wealthy people have achieved their wealth through actual hard work! What a joke.

by Anonymousreply 1807/25/2013

I meant R14.

by Anonymousreply 1907/25/2013

I am comfortable enough to retire (I am 50), and I do not feel guilty about that since I earned the money honestly.

I feel grateful -- but I also feel an obligation to do something with my time and some of my money to help those less fortunate.

by Anonymousreply 2007/25/2013

I know what you mean R18. I have seen that many times. It seems to be common in the creative fields. Have an attitude, take the short route to the top. Work hard, get an education, talent, keep em down, don't let them meet the clients, and never ever reward them or they will realize they are valuable.

by Anonymousreply 2107/25/2013

Donald Trump is the biggest one of them all. He still claims he is self made billionaire yet he was born into a wealthy family. His dad was a millionaire in the real estate business by the time Donald was born.

Yet he thinks he earned every dollar himself. No concept of luck, privilege or circumstance plays into his hard working ego of himself.

by Anonymousreply 2207/25/2013

Trump is a self-promoting blowhard assclown with a truly tragic comb-over.

by Anonymousreply 2307/25/2013

But Trump dose not feel guilty about his wealth. He is self made you know. He works hard you know.

by Anonymousreply 2407/25/2013

R21, my former place of employment's vibe, across the board, was to keep all their workers down, people were passed over for advancements while each department's VPs hired their friends children etc. Typical corporate bullshit. In this case, it was more about the talent free bosses in each department fearing being exposed.

This disgusting company made their workers feel as if they were from the Third World, basically telling these people they should be so grateful to be there. It was astonishing that so many of the four creative department's workers all graduated from prestigious art and fashion schools, FIT, RISD, Cooper Union, Pratt, Parsons and The School of Visual Arts, yet were made to feel as if they were scrubbing toilets all day.

HR? They were nothing more than stooges for the bosses. The company was sued many times and paid off several workers through out-of-court settlements.

I left in 2002, some of the graphics people were making only $25,000 at that point. That was completely ridiculous, RISD graduates making $25,000?!!!

Working in an in-house art department is a lot different than ad agency work, there are no clients to meet, everything is in-house, most of us didn't make many connections while there, just with the vendors and resource companies we dealt with for accessories etc for the photo shoots. We later lost the vendor connections when we started on the Macs, we no longer had to deal with printers for the fonts or the stat houses who scanned the art for the layouts.

Due to the lack of connections, for some of my former colleagues, it was difficult to find work after leaving, but the environment was so toxic, and draining, most people got out before finding new jobs.

I still work in a creative field, but I'm self employed, there's no daily drama and other nonsense to deal with. I have four steady accounts. I actually feel retired because the work is not stressful.

The amount of slacking poseurs and psychotic back-stabbing nasty people in the fashion field is mind boggling, I had to get away or lose my mind.

I saw how it was burning out people who were still in their 20s, so I knew it was time to get out of that grind. Believe me, it's not all glamour, the fashion field is filled with sociopaths!

by Anonymousreply 2507/25/2013

I have much more money than my siblings. We all started from the same place. I have worked hard, I have a good life. I won't say I have no financial worry. I DO have to work, but retirement at an age where I can still enjoy life is something I will experience. I sometimes feel a little guilty that my siblings have it harder, but I also see some of the choices they have made are the cause of their hardships. Sometimes I think about giving them money so they they could catch a break, but they would make the same poor decisions with gift money. I also know that it would be like putting a bowl of milk out for the stray cat…..they would be back for more.

by Anonymousreply 2607/25/2013

Never feel guilty.

Give all your money away and they expect more. Hit a hard patch and they laugh.

As someone without kids, I'm considered a thief - all of my work could go to someone who supports children.

by Anonymousreply 2707/25/2013

OP, people see where you are now, not the long hard road you took or sacrifices you made to get there. They assume it all fell from the sky. So, when jealous bores make comments like, "must be nice," just do as R6 suggests (and as I have done a few times); reply with "yes, it really is and I feel very lucky/grateful/blessed/whatever."

Trust me, they won't say it again, because what they're secretly expecting and hoping for when they say "must be nice" is that you will deny it and tell them how awful your life is in spite of your wealth.

Envy sucks. People need to live their own lives and stop worrying about what others have. Everyone can look around and find others who are better off.

by Anonymousreply 2807/25/2013

Okay, r25, buy why should people who do scrub toilets for a living be made to feel bad? So you only care about oppression that affects you.

by Anonymousreply 2907/25/2013

Not at all. People who want money who don't come from money work hard for it. People who want money and don't want to work for it don't want anybody else to have it either. It makes them look lazy.

by Anonymousreply 3007/25/2013

My income isn't huge, except when compared to the world average, but the fact is I earned every fucking penny by working hard and benefitting others.

So even though I'm prone to all sorts of liberal guilt, I don't feel guilty about my good income.

by Anonymousreply 3107/26/2013

In thinking about this the two people who insulted me the most on this topic are two of the laziest scammers around. (one is 34 and has had one job for two years of his life.....and that is it!!!)

by Anonymousreply 3207/26/2013

Just heard Sam Simon, co-creator of "The Simpsons", announced he has terminal colon cancer, and just a few months to live. He's worth several hundred million dollars, and has said he will leave all his money to animal , conservation, and childrens charities - that his family is already well taken care of ( including ex-wife, Jennifer Tilly). As I said earlier (R9), it really is the best way, to affect the most people. You're a good guy Sam !

by Anonymousreply 3307/27/2013

Bitch OP, if you have money i'd love to screw your sassy fucking ass. Then you would stop whine about your money.

by Anonymousreply 3407/27/2013


by Anonymousreply 3507/27/2013


by Anonymousreply 3607/27/2013


by Anonymousreply 3707/27/2013

I'm disabled (mental, not physical, though have health issues, too) for the past 5 years and I feel guilty. Though I certainly worked hard when I worked. I only survive 'cause of Section 8 housing but that in the same damn small town where I went to school a hundred years ago (more like 40.) But I feel guilty every day about having $1900 tax free each month; I feel guilty when look at people having to work hard for less money. Even though I DID work hard when I worked.

When I worked, ALL I wanted to do was NOT have to. Friends in my age range (in SF) are expecting to work till 66, longer; ONE good thing in the past 10+(2000 actually (years) which I just found out though probably most of you know:

One can work till ANY age now and collect, once you're (current rules)66, 67 - FULL social security. Must be some tax issues, but for people in good shape and jobs they like: not a bad deal

Thank, you Bill Clinton.

by Anonymousreply 3807/27/2013
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