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I wonder if I can make a "river" out of my mashed potatoes

I'm so full up on starch given the presence of Pillsbury crescent rolls (by request!) at dinner tonight, I can't even finish the potatoes. I might as well play with them.

I'm sure no one will mind.

by adored niecereply 2507/26/2013

You're already chubby. Why hasn't your mother put you on a diet?

by adored niecereply 107/24/2013

Mother isn't very strict about much, r1. neither is Uncle!

by adored niecereply 207/24/2013

If you don't stop it I'll impale your hand with this fork!

by adored niecereply 307/24/2013

You'll never survive in polite society without proper manners. Your uncle is trying to help - please ignore him when he's in his cage with the ball gag and ginormous buttplug.

by adored niecereply 407/24/2013

I would consider my position carefully if I were you OP. The construction of a mashed potato aquaduct may result in stabbing and/or toxic shock from the spit-encrusted tines of the fateful fork your holding-on-to-his-last-nerve-by-a-thread uncle is clutching in his quivering fist right now.

Just casually tease the mash into a facsimile of Dollywood and back away from the table. Having first obtained permission of course.

by adored niecereply 507/24/2013

Why don't you try making a little coffin peaches?

That's more of what your uncle has in mind.

by adored niecereply 607/24/2013

Go ahead and make a river of mash but whatever you do don't forget to place a napkin on your lap! You wouldn't want your uncle to have to pull the fork he has jammed up his butt and smack your hand with it.

by adored niecereply 707/24/2013

How about fences out of fish sticks or trees made from broccoli?

by adored niecereply 807/24/2013

What are ' coffin peaches'?

by adored niecereply 907/24/2013

What are ' coffin peaches'?

Same thing as marijuana tablets.

by adored niecereply 1007/24/2013


by adored niecereply 1107/24/2013

Is that what you live for R9? Glad I could help.

Tomorrow at work you will be back to people either ignoring you or making fun of you behind your back, but tonight you're a king!

by adored niecereply 1207/24/2013

All the cool kids fling them up at the ceiling, OP.

If they stick for more than five seconds, you get to make one wish come true!

by adored niecereply 1307/24/2013


by adored niecereply 1407/24/2013

[all posts by right wing shit-stain # a removed.]

by adored niecereply 1507/25/2013

I was thinking more like a ... mountain.

by adored niecereply 1607/25/2013

Don't play with your food!

by adored niecereply 1707/25/2013

I can make a mountain out of mashed potatoes.

by adored niecereply 1807/25/2013

Cry me a river.

by adored niecereply 1907/26/2013

One does not make a river out of mashed potatoes. One makes a river out of gravy, running THROUGH mashed potatoes. The potatoes form the banks.

Ignorant twits.

by adored niecereply 2007/26/2013

OP, this isn't going to end well, only pre-emptive action will save you! Quick, grab your fork and turn uncle into a pin cushion while he's still muttering and gazing into the middle distance with that glassy stare!

by adored niecereply 2107/26/2013

One uses mashed potatoes to build a gravy dam.

by adored niecereply 2207/26/2013


U was hoping someone would launch a parody thread so I could feel better about being a mismanaged brat!

by adored niecereply 2307/26/2013

Hey- highdy-Ho, I'm a potato from eye-di-ho !

by adored niecereply 2407/26/2013

A mashed potato river is properly formed with the fork, tines down, held by a bored left hand and the knife, held by the bored right hand in a motiothe where the tines and the knife blade are close together and pulled apart to form a depression in the potatoes. This is repeated in a connected fashion as to create The River. When the river is completed, graxy may or may not be added. Butter is an alternative to graxy.

by adored niecereply 2507/26/2013
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