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Let's pretend we're at an airport in the 70's.

Paging R1, you have a call on the white courtesy phone.

by Anonymousreply 20306/26/2015

I'm the nun who sings to a dying kid.

by Anonymousreply 107/19/2013

I'm the white zone. I'm for loading and unloading only.

by Anonymousreply 207/19/2013

I'd like to meet my uncle at the gate as he deplanes from Chicago. Which way to Gate B16?

by Anonymousreply 307/19/2013

Listen Betty, don't start up with your white zone shit again.

by Anonymousreply 407/19/2013

Wow, Petey's been in the men's room an awfully long time. He must have the leg shakes because I saw him tapping his foot in there to beat the band!

by Anonymousreply 507/19/2013

I'm the nervous, first time flyer, chain smoking a pack of Camels in the waiting area.

by Anonymousreply 607/19/2013

:::lighting up a Benson & Hedges as we deplane:::

by Anonymousreply 707/19/2013

I'm the Hare Krishna harassing you for donations.

by Anonymousreply 807/19/2013

Check out the can on that stewardess! Yowza!

by Anonymousreply 907/19/2013

[all posts by right wing shit-stain # a removed.]

by Anonymousreply 1007/19/2013

I'm the "goddammit!" uttered from the side of Joe Patrone's mouth when there's a crisis.

by Anonymousreply 1107/19/2013

I'm the dime you put into the gate so you can go to the observation deck and watch the planes take off and land.

by Anonymousreply 1207/19/2013

I'm the little boy that gets to go to into the cockpit for a while after the stewardess noticed me looking in at all the lights and buttons since the cockpit door has been wide open (!) the entire flight anyway.

by Anonymousreply 1307/19/2013

I'm broke and I'm starving. At least I'll be able to get a hot meal on the flight.

by Anonymousreply 1407/19/2013

I'm the fading posters of 60s stewardesses posted along the airport.

by Anonymousreply 1507/19/2013

I'm a Pan Am bag.

by Anonymousreply 1607/19/2013

I'm Helen Hayes.

by Anonymousreply 1707/19/2013

I think I saw Farrah Fawcett and Lee Majors in the first class section!

by Anonymousreply 1807/19/2013

Have you ever seen a grown man naked?

by Anonymousreply 1907/19/2013

I'm the arrivals and departures board going clickety-clickety every few minutes as the flights take off and land.

by Anonymousreply 2007/19/2013

[all posts by right wing shit-stain # a removed.]

by Anonymousreply 2107/19/2013

I'm a passenger preparing to board a flight I haven't paid for yet. No reservation needed. No worries. We can pay by cash or credit card after we board.

by Anonymousreply 2207/19/2013

I'm PSA, and my planes were pink and orange with a smile painted under the cockpit. I was sort of the Match Game '74 of airlines.

by Anonymousreply 2307/19/2013

I'm Captain Van Zant, asshole KLM pilot who tried taking off without clearance, resulting in the deaths of nearly 600 people.

by Anonymousreply 2407/19/2013

I'm the vending machine that spits out the flight insurance policies. Put a few quarters in and out comes a policy worth half a million if you die in a crash.

Just be sure to sign the policy and drop it in the mailbox before your flight!

by Anonymousreply 2507/19/2013

Look, I'm watching TV!

These chairs have little TVs built in to their arms. All you have to do is feed it coins (kind of expensive.)


by Anonymousreply 2607/19/2013

I'm this item, now extinct.

by Anonymousreply 2707/19/2013

I'm the free sex!

by Anonymousreply 2807/19/2013


by Anonymousreply 2907/19/2013

I'm the valet at San Francisco airport thinking that, on this day, I actually saw more bottoms than bell bottoms.

by Anonymousreply 3007/19/2013

I'm under 40, and I don't understand any of the archaic references on this thread.

by Anonymousreply 3107/19/2013

I'm Jean Seberg. And I STILL look pretty even in that ridiculous uniform and that awful helmut hair.

by Anonymousreply 3207/19/2013

I love flying. The employees treat you like royalty and will do their best to make your flight completely enjoyable.

by Anonymousreply 3307/19/2013

My twa gold admits me into the drinks and telephones!

by Anonymousreply 3407/19/2013

R31, surely you know that before 9/11, anyone could go to the departure gates whether a ticketed passenger or not. That's the premise of a number of these posts.

by Anonymousreply 3507/19/2013

I'm O.J. Simpson, running through the airport for a Hertz commercial (and not away from the police.)

by Anonymousreply 3607/19/2013

I'm the giant bag of sewing scissors in this complimentary Republic Airlines bag. I'll be used to finish a nice wrap dress.

by Anonymousreply 3707/19/2013

I'm the stack of blank tickets at the check-in counter, just waiting for people who want to buy seats on the next flight out!

You didn't make reservations six weeks ago, sir? You want to change your flight? NO PROBLEM!

by Anonymousreply 3807/19/2013

I'm this poster's soft pack of Marlboro Light 100s. I'll be almost finished by the time we get to LA.

He likes to hang around, smoke and chat with the other smokers who stand about at the back near the toilets.

by Anonymousreply 3907/19/2013

I'm the six bags my owner checked at no additional cost!!!

by Anonymousreply 4007/19/2013

I'm the person sitting in the last row of the non-smoking section.

by Anonymousreply 4107/19/2013

I'm the Checker Cab that you'll take into town.

by Anonymousreply 4207/19/2013

I'm the endless rows of pay phones. An enterprising little kid can always find forgotten change in the coin returns.

by Anonymousreply 4307/19/2013

I'm the big bowls of WE TRY HARDER buttons in various languages kept on the AVIS counter.

by Anonymousreply 4407/19/2013

I'm on my way to the airport and running late. No problem, I'll just call the nice gal at the counter and tell her, not to worry I'm on my way!

by Anonymousreply 4507/19/2013

How are you going to call her, R45, if you're on you're way? Pull over and use a street 'phone?

by Anonymousreply 4607/19/2013

I'm the free manhattans my favorite stewardess hands me every time.

by Anonymousreply 4707/19/2013

I look like your average (70s) Joe and that's the way I like it.

by Anonymousreply 4807/19/2013

I'm The Year Of The Cat and you're going to hear me at least seven times on your inflight entertainment service.

by Anonymousreply 4907/19/2013

[quote]I'm The Year Of The Cat and you're going to hear me at least seven times on your inflight entertainment service

OMG!!! Yes, this!

by Anonymousreply 5007/19/2013

I'm Cheryl. Fly me.

by Anonymousreply 5107/19/2013

I'm the little metal wings pin presented to every child after he or she tours the cockpit.

by Anonymousreply 5207/19/2013

I'm Helen Reddy, dressed as a nun, so I don't get mobbed by fans.

by Anonymousreply 5307/19/2013

I'm a passenger, dressed nicely instead of like a slovenly vagrant.

by Anonymousreply 5407/19/2013

I'm the frantic lover, desperate to talk my girlfriend out of leaving me. The sentimental ground crew will allow me to run right onto the plane & plead my case, just as the stairs are wheeling away.

by Anonymousreply 5507/19/2013

I'm a BOAC holdall.

by Anonymousreply 5607/19/2013

I'm the new wheeled carryon used exclusively by pilots and "stews." Passengers with non-wheeled luggage nudge each other and say, "I need to get me one of those."

by Anonymousreply 5707/19/2013

I'm the co-pilot, taking a little pre-flight toke so that everything goes really smooth.

by Anonymousreply 5807/19/2013

I'm the unsightly, intrusive expansion projects construction going on at O'Hare airport that will take 30 years to complete. By the 80s I will look old and tired even with the newer stuff that's been added.

by Anonymousreply 5907/19/2013

I'm this

by Anonymousreply 6007/19/2013

I'm airline-branded playing cards, which were given out by the stewardesses upon request.

by Anonymousreply 6107/19/2013

I'm Western Airlines. "The only way to fly."

by Anonymousreply 6207/19/2013

I'm the airline branded individually wrapped hard candy, handed out on a tray before landing.

I'm an unexpected nice touch and give the stewardess a chance to smile at as many people as possible before we land.

by Anonymousreply 6307/19/2013

I'm the guy who got here two hours early so I could snag the best seat for $49 on the Newark to Houston flight on Peoples Express.

by Anonymousreply 6407/19/2013

I'm the ashtray in the plane armrest.

by Anonymousreply 6507/19/2013

I'm a student flying off to Europe for the summer thanks to my "Youth Fare" card, which makes airfares anywhere dirt cheap.

Best $5 I ever spent. I'll be sad when I turn 26 and can't use my card anymore.

by Anonymousreply 6607/19/2013

I'm an Ozark Airlines flight. I can land in a cornfield!

by Anonymousreply 6707/19/2013

I'm the film projector that just broke down, so there will be no in-flight entertainment.

by Anonymousreply 6807/19/2013

I'm the fat woman over 30 who can no longer be a stewardess because it would be unsightly for me to represent the airlines.

by Anonymousreply 6907/19/2013

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are now boarding New York Air service from Boston to Newark. Don't forget to pick up your Flying Nosh. "

Now boarding Northwest Orient to Minneapolis/St. Paul from gate 25.

I'm lost luggage from Braniff, USAir, TWA, Eastern, Pilgrim Airways, Yellowbird, and Continental.

Remember, at Continental Airlines we really move our tail for you!

by Anonymousreply 7007/19/2013

I'm at LAX, rushing to meet my United flight, to San Francisco. I splurged and decided to go First Class. It took my ticket from $25.00, to 35.00, each way. Total Rountrip -$70.00. ( True story).

by Anonymousreply 7107/19/2013

I'm the feeling of safety and security because Muslims haven't thought of hijacking planes yet.

by Anonymousreply 7207/19/2013

I'm a parking meter.

by Anonymousreply 7307/19/2013

I'm a baggage handler in a smart looking uniform

by Anonymousreply 7407/20/2013

How many of Braniff's seven colors of planes have you flown?

by Anonymousreply 7507/20/2013

I'm the agent who sold you the Pan Am ticket for that Tenerife flight. You know--the one that crashed?

by Anonymousreply 7607/20/2013

I'm the 7-year-old, on my first flight, who is invited into the cockpit to receive my plastic pilot's wings from the pilot himself.

by Anonymousreply 7707/20/2013

I'm the impeccable pants-suit worn by most of the female passengers. I'm just dressy enough to be presentable on a flight but just casual enough to be comfortable. I'm worn with a beige shoulder bag.

by Anonymousreply 7807/20/2013

I'm the waitress's weird airline hat and coordinating scarf.

by Anonymousreply 7907/20/2013

My Eastern Airlines Youth Card gives me a flight discount... until a bunch of fat old disgruntled senior citizens go to court and challenge Eastern for "age discrimination."

by Anonymousreply 8007/20/2013

I am the tiny bottle of alcohol that the stewardess would hand out to anyone of any age.

Starting at 7 we went to Hawaii every Christmas. I always collected a couple of bottles during the flight. I never drank anything, I just collected them.

by Anonymousreply 8107/20/2013

I'm your luggage. I was loaded onto a truck at JFK, then dropped off at the bay front onto waiting private boats and then taken to the canals on the south shore of Long Island. I was then unloaded onto the dock of a private canal-front home belonging to someone like Mr Ronald DeFeo Sr (deceased). I was then taken to the basement "rec room" and opened. Everything got sold or given away.

by Anonymousreply 8207/20/2013

I'm the paperback copy of "The Lord Won't Mind" that the adolescent homosexual, en route to Bumfucke, Alabama, has just stolen from the Atlanta airport newsstand.

by Anonymousreply 8307/20/2013

I am the chartered flight to Europe, because transatlantic flight was so expensive.

by Anonymousreply 8407/20/2013

[quote] I'm Captain Van Zant, asshole KLM pilot who tried taking off without clearance, resulting in the deaths of nearly 600 people.

My husband had a high school friend whose father died of a heart attack. His mother remarried a couple of years later and she and her new husband went on their honeymoon to Spain. But they were diverted to Tenerife because of a bomb scare or something. Anyway, the poor kid was orphaned at age 17.

by Anonymousreply 8507/20/2013

I'm the hot towel that was provided in economy upon initial approach after a transcontinental flight.

by Anonymousreply 8607/20/2013

I am the hideous mural made from 1" square glass and ceramic tiles in orange, red, yellow, and metallic gold on either side of the moving walkway that takes you to baggage claim.

by Anonymousreply 8707/20/2013

I'm the buffet in first class and the pub in coach.

by Anonymousreply 8807/20/2013

I'm an Eastern Airlines 727 Whisper Jet. You can barely hear me. Next to me is an American Airlines DC-10 Luxury Liner. It's fancy! It has 5-abreast seating in the center section. People will like that, especially the ones who get to sit in the very middle seat on an 8-hour flight to Honolulu.

by Anonymousreply 8907/20/2013

I'm the magnificent Pan Am logo. I appear on skyscrapers! I will never be reduced to appearing on lousy, overpriced, retro-inspired gym bags.

by Anonymousreply 9007/20/2013

Now this thread is making me sad

by Anonymousreply 9107/20/2013

I'm the guy who walks aboard the Eastern Shuttle without a ticket and pays in cash to the stewardess the one way fare, $35.00.

by Anonymousreply 9207/20/2013

I'm the scale model of the future of transportation...The Concorde in the glass case, in the middle of the terminal.

by Anonymousreply 9307/20/2013

I'm the 20 year old girl in Old Navy plaid pajama pants, tan Uggs, Juicy Coiture hoodie (3 sizes too large) clutching a large stuffed animal for comfort. I am without makeup and barely brushed my hair because I'm so hung over. I'm flying to the Dominican Republic for my friends bachelorette party.

Oh wait, this isn't the 70's, this is now. Gross.

by Anonymousreply 9407/20/2013

We're Governor Reagan, making jokes at the dedication of the Lockheed Tri-Star

by Anonymousreply 9507/20/2013

I’m the glamorous multilingual airport-wide arrival/departure announcements done by sexy female voices that you could hear as soon as you were dropped off at the white zone by a Checker Cab (if in New York), by a Dodge Dart/Buick Riviera (if in Chicago), or by a Lincoln Continental (if in Los Angeles).

“Aereonaves de México announces the departure of its Pacific Tropical Boeing 707 Deluxe Flight 123 Cha Cha Cha bound for beautiful Acapulco, Mexico and stopping at exotic Puerto Vallarta. Passengers please proceed to Gate 6 for boarding through the tarmac.”

“Aeronaves de México anuncia la salida de su vuelo Pacífico Tropical 123 Cha Cha Chá servicio Boeing 707 de lujo, con destino a la bella ciudad de Acapulco y haciendo escala en el exótico paraíso de Puerto Vallarta. Pasajeros favor abordar por la pista en la salida número 6.”

by Anonymousreply 9607/20/2013

I'm the fabulous DC 10

by Anonymousreply 9707/20/2013

I'm the long series of different counters for different airlines featuring different colors, designs, and carpeting (on the walls too!) to match the airline logo and budget - Pan Am on one end and TWA on the other, with counters twice as large as the smaller ones for BOAC, Eastern, Braniff, National, and Trans Caribbean, and an off-the-side kiosk for this fledging progressive new commuter idea called People Express.

by Anonymousreply 9807/20/2013

I'm this film seen by all but never mentioned at the airport

by Anonymousreply 9907/20/2013

I'm the Braniff logo swizzle stick. normally I'm used as a crude sex toy. Not today tho

by Anonymousreply 10007/20/2013

I'm this revolutionary new idea for luggage-on-wheels that consists of one of two things:

a) A regular rectangular suitcase with four little unnoticeable wheels on the side opposite the locking latches, and a removable plastic loop handle that you can attach to one of the shorter sides for "easy" maneuvering and leverage.

b) The mini-dolly - A series of expanding parallel tubes with a small platform and (again) tiny wheels at one end and a handle on the other where you lean carry-on luggage tied with small bungee-ropes. Preferred by glove-wearing high-heeled stewardesses for better navigation of small crowded areas.

by Anonymousreply 10107/20/2013

I'm the assumption that all male airline personnel wearing stripes on their shoulders were pilots.

by Anonymousreply 10207/20/2013

I'm the paper baggage tag! Let's hope that the string attaching me to your luggage doesn't break!

by Anonymousreply 10307/20/2013

I'm the piano bar on the second floor of a brand new Boeing 747.

by Anonymousreply 10407/20/2013

I'm the hefty metal flatware that is handed out to each passenger when meals are served. Including a serrated knife.

by Anonymousreply 10507/20/2013

I'm that Quebecois steward flying all around, innocently fucking like there's no tomorrow, who would later be blamed for starting the AIDS epidemic.

by Anonymousreply 10607/20/2013

I'm the wild and kinky ideas for SSTs.

by Anonymousreply 10707/20/2013

I'm the tourists who came to the airport to watch the planes.

by Anonymousreply 10807/20/2013

I am The Concorde, supersonic air travel , can you believe it, New York to London in only 4 hours?

By the year 2000 all airlines will be flying supersonics ! No more long tedious flights onboard these old wide body jets, although I will miss on board extars like Continentals' Pub or Pan Ams' Piano bar, but who minds giving up all that extra spoace in order the get there quicker!

by Anonymousreply 10907/20/2013

"Sorry ma'am I do not know our current air speed"

"No sir I did not serve in the Air Force with you in Korea "

" I'm sorry Mr. Liberace, you may be a VIP but rules are rules and only one person is allowed in the lavatory at a time, even if he is your personal assistant"

" No ma'am I did not forget my captains hat"

Yes Miss , there is someone up front flying the plane."

No Mr Liberace, I am not allowed to accompany you to the lavatory either"

by Anonymousreply 11007/20/2013

I'm the travel agent you had to use, to get the best value flight, not to mention a hotel at journey's end...

by Anonymousreply 11107/20/2013

I'm Larry Craig, a relatively unknown state senator in Idaho, but someday I'll be a U.S. senator in Washington! I'm in the airport men's room at the moment, but when I become a U.S. senator I'm absolutely confident that I'll stop this kind of behavior.

by Anonymousreply 11207/20/2013

I'm the 10% airfare for relatives of the pilot, taking them off to Paris for lunch.

by Anonymousreply 11307/20/2013

I'm the $100,000 salary senior pilots made vs. today's $20,000 a year beauty school dropout pilots.

by Anonymousreply 11407/20/2013

I'm the multiple system redundancy Boeing built into every plane to avoid the catastrophic accidents that put most of my competitors out of business. In thirty years I will be designed out of the plane because I compromise fuel efficiency.

by Anonymousreply 11507/20/2013

I'm the glory hole in the wall between stalls in the Eastern Airlines wing at LaGuardia Airport. And I'm the gay graffiti on the walls in the toilet stalls sometimes with phone numbers and hotel room numbers.

by Anonymousreply 11607/20/2013

I'm the Hasidic Jew who used to meet this poster and/or his mother at the London airport with the cheap tickets to New York...before the days of standby and discount flights.

by Anonymousreply 11707/20/2013

I'm the cheap Laker Airways charter flight from London to New York, booked three months ahead. No movie, no nothin' and always a long delay.

by Anonymousreply 11807/20/2013

I am the scared bewildered little 4 year old Russiian boy standing in front of the news reporters and flashing cameras after my parent defected when our Aeroflot flight made a refueling stop in Gander, Newfoundland.

Today I make millions producing gay porn and I donate to teh republicans

God Bless America!

by Anonymousreply 11907/20/2013

I'm the department store clerk making recommendations for the most comfortable and stylish outfit to wear while traveling!

by Anonymousreply 12007/20/2013

I'm the fragrant lei that is awaiting you as you step off your plane in Honolulu.

by Anonymousreply 12107/20/2013

I'm the hot pants and go-go boots on your Southwest stewardess.

by Anonymousreply 12207/20/2013

Goodbye Forever!

by Anonymousreply 12307/20/2013

I'm the train case my mother would carry on in First Class wearing a wool boucle suit, white gloves and a pillbox hat.

by Anonymousreply 12407/20/2013

I'm the Algerian-born baggage handler who couldn't read English and didn't know hot to latch properly the cargo door on the DC-10.

by Anonymousreply 12507/20/2013

I'm your complimentary stationery and pen in the back of the seat pocket in front of you, so you can write to friends what a wonderful trip you are on.

by Anonymousreply 12607/20/2013

I'm the narrow pack of complimentary cigarettes they used to give out inflight.

by Anonymousreply 12707/20/2013

I'm the lack of a portable form of entertainment, apart from a book. I forced children to look at the world around them and deal with what they encountered.

by Anonymousreply 12807/20/2013

I'm the blue plastic headphones that made the music sound like it was being played on a transistor radio at the end of a tube.

by Anonymousreply 12907/20/2013

I'm the pleasant lack of people from third-world shitholes, who in the 70s preferred to stay in their own shithole countries and not bother others.

by Anonymousreply 13007/20/2013

I'm the absence of fast food restaurants

by Anonymousreply 13107/20/2013

I'm the absence of pat-downs

by Anonymousreply 13207/20/2013

[all posts by right wing shit-stain # a removed.]

by Anonymousreply 13307/20/2013

I'm the coffee and tea in the "Coffee, Tea, or Me" scenario.

by Anonymousreply 13407/20/2013

I'm all the trim people that don't bulge into your sides.

by Anonymousreply 13507/20/2013

I'm the "take the Train to the Plane" jingle.

by Anonymousreply 13607/20/2013

I've just arrived 10 minutes before my flight and run to the gate and get on. The other passengers think that I am glowing and glamorous as I take my seat.

by Anonymousreply 13707/20/2013

I'm your legs, which you can comfortably cross while sitting in the Coach section.

by Anonymousreply 13807/20/2013

I'm the copy of "Let's Go Europe" clutched by every college student taking their first trip abroad.

by Anonymousreply 13907/20/2013

I'm flying free to Singapore as an air courier, transporting time-sensitive documents that can't be delivered any other way.

by Anonymousreply 14007/20/2013

I'm a resource for future reference when the as yet unborn scoff at the elders' stories.

by Anonymousreply 14107/20/2013

R140, that's the best so far!

by Anonymousreply 14207/20/2013

I'm "pub pong" played by lame-ass execs with their cocktails sweating on my glass tabletop surface.

by Anonymousreply 14307/20/2013

I'm Dubai airport

by Anonymousreply 14407/20/2013

I'm the lucky guy in First class! I got upgraded for free because I'm wearing a nice suit and flirted with the pretty gal at the check in counter!

by Anonymousreply 14507/20/2013

I'm 22 and flying to Copenhagen on FinnAir for $99 one-way.

by Anonymousreply 14607/20/2013

For what it's worth r146, that $99 in 70s equals $577.40 in today's money.

Today the cheapest roundtrip flight from JFK to Copenhagen is about $1300 give or take. So it's about the same.

by Anonymousreply 14707/20/2013

I'm Stphen Breyer trying to deregulate the airline industry. I've got a bright future ahead of me.

by Anonymousreply 14807/20/2013

Did the DC-10s in the 1970s never experience turbulence? The pub looks like fun, but I'd imagine that some sudden, unexpected turbulence could create a real mess.

by Anonymousreply 14907/21/2013

I'm the flight attendant swishing through the airport and dripping cum from my yum yum because I still think I'm going to get that pilot to leave his wife.

by Anonymousreply 15007/21/2013

I'm this delightful commercial, unfortunately I harbinger dark and less glamorous days ahead for air travel. . . . .

by Anonymousreply 15107/21/2013

[quote]I'm the waitress's weird airline hat and coordinating scarf.

Icelandair flight attendants still rock the weird hats.

by Anonymousreply 15207/21/2013

I am the newly-elected president of the airport's PATCO (Professional Air Traffic Controller Organization) local

by Anonymousreply 15307/21/2013

I am an employee of the Civl Aeronautics Board

by Anonymousreply 15407/21/2013

I am Allegheny Airlines, Air Wisconsin, Frontier Airlines, Air Illinois, Ozark Airlines, Mohawk Airlines -- all airlines that connected smaller cities with major metropolitan airports

by Anonymousreply 15507/21/2013

I'm the Ray Conniff singers, playing nonstop on the headphones

by Anonymousreply 15607/21/2013

Good one r156!

by Anonymousreply 15707/21/2013

I'm Piedmont Airlines. Our stews had to duck into the airplane door to clear their beehives.

by Anonymousreply 15807/21/2013

[quote]I'm the feeling of safety and security because Muslims haven't thought of hijacking planes yet.

Then you were an idiot. Skyjacking was a MUCH bigger deal in the '70s than it is now.

by Anonymousreply 15907/21/2013

[quote]I'm the feeling of safety and security because Muslims haven't thought of hijacking planes yet.

Are you kidding me?!

by Anonymousreply 16007/21/2013

r158 - that was precious.

by Anonymousreply 16107/21/2013

Muslims didn't take away your security. Cheney and Rumsfeld did.

by Anonymousreply 16207/21/2013

Nobody gave a shit about Muslims in the 70s, or at least that's what my grandfather told me.

by Anonymousreply 16307/21/2013

I'm Allegheny Airlines and we have cheap tickets but it will take 8 hours to get from Providence to Chicago because we will stop in Hartford, Pittsburgh and Toledo before we hit Chicago.

by Anonymousreply 16407/21/2013

[quote]I'm the feeling of safety and security because Muslims haven't thought of hijacking planes yet. use them as detonation devices.

When hijackings happened in the early days, they were to divert the plane to another destination, often one that they were not allowed to personally go to (Cuban refugees fleeing Castro, for instance).

by Anonymousreply 16507/21/2013

Did you even have to show a photo ID at the airport in the 70s?

by Anonymousreply 16607/21/2013

I'm the vending machine that had a picture of lots if delicious treats including a red glassy jawbreaker next to a mini powdered sugar donut at the very end.

by Anonymousreply 16707/21/2013

[quote] Did you even have to show a photo ID at the airport in the 70s?

Nope. You just checked in (at the gate, not the counter), received your seat assignment, and up, up and away!

by Anonymousreply 16807/21/2013

R166, I don't think so.

by Anonymousreply 16907/21/2013

In the 70's if you saw a Muslim gentelman on your flight you wern`t suspicious , you didn`t watch his every move, you served him extremely attentively, flirted a little, giggled at his jokes,hung on his every word, showed a little thigh when bringing his meal, and treated him like a King .

Believe me, it paid off quite well.

by Anonymousreply 17007/22/2013

Well, to be fair, Lisa Halaby was a bit more than a struggling stewardess - she was the Princeton-educated daughter of the CEO of Pan American Airways. She did not need to seek for a relationship that "paid off quite well."

by Anonymousreply 17107/22/2013

Queen Noor is still beautiful, by the way.

by Anonymousreply 17207/22/2013

Yes R171, but besides Malcolm Forbes, how many other Princeton alums went on to became world famous Queens?

by Anonymousreply 17307/22/2013

She wasn't a stewardess for Pan Am or any other airline.

by Anonymousreply 17407/22/2013

I think I just spotted Helen Hayes with Maureen Stapleton.

by Anonymousreply 17507/22/2013

I'm the crappy headphones that resemble a doctor's stethoscope.

by Anonymousreply 17607/22/2013

I'm the luggage lockers, a safe self-serve alternative to store your baggage while changing planes or visiting downtown Chicago on a layover. Nothing wrong can happen with this wonderful technology that allows you to keep something covered under lock and key for as long as you hold the key - all for 25 cents!

by Anonymousreply 17707/23/2013

I'm Queen Noor. Fly me.

by Anonymousreply 17807/23/2013

I'm 15 years old and getting fucking WASTED in the lounge. They never card here!

by Anonymousreply 17907/23/2013

I'm Linda Blair's kidney waiting in Los Angeles. I hope nothing unexpected happens.

by Anonymousreply 18007/23/2013

I'm the bored ticket agent making prank pages to the courtesy phones.

by Anonymousreply 18107/23/2013

I'm PSA, and my planes were pink and orange with a smile painted under the cockpit. I was sort of the Match Game '74 of airlines.

And just like in Match Game '78, there was a lot of smoking at PSA '78

by Anonymousreply 18207/24/2013

Oops - first sentence was supposed to be a quote

by Anonymousreply 18307/24/2013

I'm No Frills.

by Anonymousreply 18407/24/2013


by Anonymousreply 18507/24/2013

I'm your crosseyed stewardess, and I'll be landing the plane. Welcome aboard!

by Anonymousreply 18607/24/2013

I'm the TWA tea.

by Anonymousreply 18707/24/2013

I am Carol, a little girl whose mommy took her to the airport the meet a famous movie star as she came off her plane.

I got to sit in the cart with the lady while she rambled on to a reporter , she sounded just like Grandma after she has some of her "special grandmas only kool-aid".

She smelled like grandma too !

by Anonymousreply 18807/25/2013

I'm the drawings of hot air balloons that are all over the walls of this TWA 707 bound for London.

by Anonymousreply 18907/25/2013

I am "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" that you are hearing through hollow tubes for the 13th time on this 7-hour trip.

by Anonymousreply 19007/25/2013

I have to admit, this is one of my favorite DL threads in ages. Y'all are hilarious.

by Anonymousreply 19107/25/2013

I'm the buffet spread out in coach after take-off from Honolulu by Pan Am stewardesses wearing powder-blue derby hats. We are jetting to Sydney, but will have to stop for refueling of our first generation 747 in Fiji.

by Anonymousreply 19207/25/2013

I am the airport lounge that is no longer for VIPs but for anyone who can pay the entrance fee or is flying first class.

I am not as fun anymore.

by Anonymousreply 19309/26/2014

I'm the family member who meets you at the gate because security will let you through to the gate.

by Anonymousreply 19406/25/2015

Let's pretend we're at an airport in the 50's.

Paging [xx], you have a call on the whites-only courtesy phone.

by Anonymousreply 19506/25/2015

Fly me, I'm Simone.

by Anonymousreply 19606/25/2015

I'm the 10 year old flying alone. It's not a big deal.

by Anonymousreply 19706/25/2015

I'm the passenger on the sofa in the upstairs first class lounge on a Pan Am 747. The piano player has just started his set as I light my Marlboro and sip my Manhattan.

by Anonymousreply 19806/25/2015

I am the notched, plastic wheel used to change music channels on your Boeing 727.

You can't make out my numbers, but marvel at this amazing technology regardless.

by Anonymousreply 19906/25/2015

I'm Northwest Orient Airlines. The polar route to Japan and all of Asia. Next stop, Anchorage!

by Anonymousreply 20006/25/2015

I gotta pee. Where's my dime for the toilet?

by Anonymousreply 20106/25/2015

As I jet to Chicago from LAX on my sleek 707, I look up from my book and see only the fabric of the seat back in front of me.

by Anonymousreply 20206/26/2015

Cut the white zone crap, we both know what this is about. You want me to get an abortion!

by Anonymousreply 20306/26/2015
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