I live in Fly Over, USA, and I'm one of those picky guys. For the record, I'm 50, and work in a high profile job, but am openly gay. I'm 6 ft, 169lbs with a 33 inch waist.
I have had a lot of difficulty finding guys that interest me. In my part of Fly Over, USA, too many men are...fat or obese.
Also, too many men here are alcoholics or are borderline alcoholics, or have some sort of drug problem. Because bars are the only place to socialize, many of these same men look 10 years older than they are because they drink and party so much. I hear the phrase "Dinner and Drinks!" fifty times a week.
Many men here are also dysfunctional. Years ago, I began to get therapy for dealing with life issues and have become more healthy. The result of this is that I can now spot dysfunction at a 100 yards and steer clear of it.
Most of the smart men have left Fly Over, and will never move here because of its location.
I'm simply looking for a non alcoholic, fairly functional, non meth addicted, slim conversationalist. I don't even mind if they smoke (I don't), are divorced with kids, etc. Perhaps my standards are too high.
I guess because I have such a stick up my ass about being "picky" I get laid about 5 or 6 times a year. Usually by guys I've known for a long time, but show little interest in a ltr, and don't live here.
Now, at 50, I get depressed that it's all over and I'm never going to have that special someone. I focus on my hobbies: music, electronics, art, cooking, and visiting festivals.
I often blame myself for all this and it's true I bear some responsibility. But anti-gay society in Fly Over also plays a role. Not everyone can live on the coasts. Perhaps when I can retire I'll move to one of them.