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My partner wants to get married in the nude in a garden of Eden type setting.

How do I talk him out of it? I would like to invite my family but they would be appalled, especially my parents, who are approaching 80.

Believe it or not, he's really not crazy. This has taken me by surprise.

by Anonymousreply 4607/12/2013

It depends. Are you both worth looking at naked?

by Anonymousreply 107/12/2013

Would it be a Once Around the Garden kind of an affair or an Autumn Harvest?

by Anonymousreply 207/12/2013

Time to pull the plug OP, it only goes downhill from here

by Anonymousreply 307/12/2013


by Anonymousreply 407/12/2013

Start insulting his cock. That will fix him.

by Anonymousreply 507/12/2013

Opie's partner is a Betazoid

by Anonymousreply 607/12/2013

Say 'No."

by Anonymousreply 707/12/2013

R2 beat me to the idea. I was going to suggest that you threaten a Once Around the Garden reception instead of the deluxe package. If he won't splurge on a tux, why splurge on food?

by Anonymousreply 807/12/2013

Please don't let this be an EST. the premise is just too good.

We need pics, full details of the ceremony, and responses by all parties that may be invited.


by Anonymousreply 907/12/2013

Meet him halfway -- nude lunch at Olive Garden (of Eden)

by Anonymousreply 1007/12/2013

I can't wait to see your wedding on Awkward Family Photos!

by Anonymousreply 1107/12/2013

Just hire me as your Emcee. He will change plans very quickly afterwards.

by Anonymousreply 1207/12/2013

As themed weddings go, that's not too bad as long as neither one of you has backfat, half-butt, blotchy legs, skinny arms, oily skin, shy nuts, foreskin, oddly arranged butthair, or disgusting feet.

For my themed wedding, I was to sit on a moving litter pulled by my dogs to the alter. I'd specially requested "Greensleeves" to be played. I'd invited ALL my grooming clients and their owners and I passed out little tie/faux pearl necklace collars before hand.

There sat most of my guests on the back lawn panting in the noonday sun. Unfortunately, one of the wheels on my litter broke and my dogs had to PULL. Then THEN some of the naughtier dogs started heckling my poor dachshunds and all hell broke loose. I had to get off the litter and just walk down to that alter.

I'd originally thought to hire Cicely Tyson to reprise her role in Roots, but it was too soon after the Paula Deen fiasco.

by Anonymousreply 1307/12/2013

Sounds like my kind of party!

by Anonymousreply 1407/12/2013

As long as you don't have a cash bar, I see no problem.

by Anonymousreply 1507/12/2013

OP, I assume you'll exchange cock rings?

by Anonymousreply 1607/12/2013

Offer blinders for the squeamish.

by Anonymousreply 1707/12/2013

Four out of five nude weddings lead to surprise anal.

by Anonymousreply 1807/12/2013

Tell him you can do that kind of ceremony for just the two of you (assuming you're game), but you also need to have a real ceremony for everyone else.

by Anonymousreply 1907/12/2013

I know none of you are taking this seriously, except for R19. Believe it or not, it is a serious question.

R19, that's a good idea but I already proposed it to my partner and he said that's a cop out. He wants our wedding to mean something. He's very religious...brought up in the Baptist church. His family, of course, will not be attending as they are horrified that he's getting married to a man in the first place, let alone, in the nude.

by Anonymousreply 2007/12/2013

R2, that was funny!

by Anonymousreply 2107/12/2013

Have the ceremony in bed with an online officiant - there.

Otherwise your partner's lack of consideration for others is a HUGE red flag.

WTF are you doing with him? are the pickins that slim?

by Anonymousreply 2207/12/2013

This is why they hate us!

by Anonymousreply 2307/12/2013

MPC should also be included as an officiate where she will conduct the traditional sizemeat verificatia ceremony.

by Anonymousreply 2407/12/2013

Tell him you've had your heart set on a white organza wedding dress since you were 12 years old and aren't getting married in the nude.

by Anonymousreply 2507/12/2013

Tell him you'll go with a thong and nothing less.

by Anonymousreply 2607/12/2013

Courageous choice on his part and maybe you underestimate your parents OP.

by Anonymousreply 2707/12/2013

R24 Who? I hope it's not the loathsome entity that I think it is.

by Anonymousreply 2807/12/2013

I'd say North Dakota, in January.

What makes him think anyone attending cares to see either of you nude? He sounds a little "not right in the head".

by Anonymousreply 2907/12/2013

Solution: Have two ceremonies.

One can be nude with just the two of you--or the two of you and some close friends who can also be naked if they'd like.

The second ceremony for parents and other guests must be clothed. Don't put your parents, guests through a nude ceremony even if you two are the only ones nude.

I'm a big nudist and even I don't want to be on display nude to my friends and parents.

by Anonymousreply 3007/12/2013

Are the guests to be nude as well?

by Anonymousreply 3107/12/2013

This sounds like an Adam Sandler movie.

by Anonymousreply 3207/12/2013

Don't do it!

Don't expose yourself to a lifetime of "Adam and Steve" jokes!

by Anonymousreply 3307/12/2013

No, R31, guests do not have to be nude, and I doubt anyone will attend in the nude as we don't have any nudist friends or family. He does not want to include that we'll be nude on the invitation because he's afraid people will not come.

Another thing is that he's in better shape than me. Not that I'd want to do this even if I was in tip-top shape, but still, it makes it that much more uncomfortable.

by Anonymousreply 3407/12/2013

OP: I'm a nudist fan, but your partner's wish just sounds weird and utterly strange and rude toward your guests.

But my questions are: Why does he want to do this; what's his point?

And why would he want to impose this upon parents and guests whether or not they know about his desire or perhaps about his wish to surprise your guests with nudity, which is even weirder, rather rude and more uncomfortable for everyone involved?

by Anonymousreply 3507/12/2013

OP, people will be there with cameras. You will end up on many FaceBook pages and other sites with your name attached. Future employers and others will find these pictures any time they google your name. If you ever want to find a good job, don't do it.

by Anonymousreply 3607/12/2013

Either this is an EST or OP's partner is a queer radical who wants to confront his audience, in order to have something to write about in his genderqueer blog.

by Anonymousreply 3707/12/2013

Will the guests be naked also? Am I invited?

by Anonymousreply 3807/12/2013

Perhaps a "Summer's Eve" theme?

p.s. You're boyfriend sounds like a douche.

by Anonymousreply 3907/12/2013

dump that loser.

by Anonymousreply 4007/12/2013

R16 Made me ACTUALLY LOL. Also love the Betazoid comment.

Anyway... (straight, married, female responding)

To be serious:

I like the response about a ceremony like he wants for just you and close friends -- and then a more traditional one for everyone else.

My other response is that perhaps what he likes best is the THEME idea -- about a new Garden of Eden. Perhaps if you have the ceremony in a lovely garden, with trellises or branches wrapped in ivy...release butterflies...give everyone an apple (ha!)... ask everyone to wear white or light, airy, green... have it at sunrise...etc.

Maybe something like that.

Signed, A wedding photographer

by Anonymousreply 4107/12/2013

R41. R30 here suggesting the two ceremonies. But I like your suggestion about the Garden of Eden theme with everyone wearing easy breezy clothes...or at least fig leaves.

Maybe add a serpent with the happy couple taking a bite of the apple for a grand finale.

by Anonymousreply 4207/12/2013

[quote]Maybe add a serpent

With two trouser snakes available?

by Anonymousreply 4307/12/2013

Don't forget the Sacred Chalice of Riix

by Anonymousreply 4407/12/2013

Can I come, OP?

by Anonymousreply 4507/12/2013

OP=Jensen Ackles

The "not as fit" as my partner was a dead giveaway.

by Anonymousreply 4607/12/2013
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