I am looking for some advice about something that is, for me, kind of serious.
Several months ago I posted in a thread about good-looking straight men who like attention from anyone, including gay men. In that thread I commented about a man I've known through work for almost 10 years.
Without going into too many specifics, he and I work in the same building. He owns a business that provides an ongoing service to my firm, so I see him practically every day. He just turned 33 and I will be 44 in October. We're both into fitness and nutrition and we belong to the same gym. He’s been married twice and has five children. I know his wife and kids well.
This guy is just incredibly hot. He's blond, over 6 feet tall and built like a prize fighter. He's very much aware of his looks and will talk candidly about how he’s used them to his advantage in business. Although not formally educated, he's quite adept at business and has become very successful in his field.
I'm pretty much the quintessential nice guy, and I have the reputation for that in the workplace. I also have the reputation for being very, very good at what I do, and my friend gets off on that. One night over dinner, he looked at me and said, "I want your reputation. You kick ass but you're nice about it."
I won't lie and say that this guy hasn't starred in many of my fantasies over the years…but that's just it--they've all been fantasies. Lately though the dynamic has changed, and I know that if I wanted to make the first move, this guy would be open to something.
It’s weird, the knowledge that you can actually have something that you never thought you could. There’s never been a shortage of good looking guys in my life, but never anything like this situation.
The thing is, I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to pass up a great experience, but morally I’d feel like shit afterwards. He’s married with kids.
But I can’t get him out of my head and this has been going on for a while.
I don’t want to lose him as a friend, but I honestly don’t think I would.
This is keeping me up at night.
I'm embarrassed to say that I think I'm posting this because I want people to tell me to just fucking do it.