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What are our thoughts on this Houston loft littered with colorful "art"? The montage of paint-by-numbers cats by the front gate? The bright faux-Warhol dogs littering a corner? The huge swaths of empty space filled randomly with collections of boldly shaded chair fabrics? The oh-so-original stretched photograph of the Big Sur coastline above the low-grade maple kitchen cabinetry? The many, many "art glass mobiles"? And the piece de resistance: a painting over the master bed featuring a human nude body attached to a blue dog head!

I don't normally drink before noon, but after viewing this spectacle of horrors I'm making an exception.

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 4907/13/2013

I like it.

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 107/02/2013

It seems happier than you, OP.

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 207/02/2013

Looks like a (cheap) museum. I'd pass (even if I could afford it).

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 307/02/2013


by Becca Cason Thrashreply 407/02/2013

I like the bones of the space, for sure.

But agreed, it's not well decorated. Someone has really cheap museum-gift-store taste and vomited it everywhere.

Yes, you do need to add color to a big space like that to avoid a very sterile looking industrial space, but that ain't the way to do it.

The only thing I liked was the wall of big color glass tiles.

Pity they also vomited a whole lot of that same dull blah wood all over the kitchen and for bookshelves/builtins. A warmer wood with deeper color (or another material entirely in the kitchen) would have made all the difference.

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 507/02/2013

Looks very 1980's to me...Like Bette Midler's house in Ruthless People.

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 607/02/2013

The space is cold and they have dreadful taste in art. Adding color requires some thought and discrimination. You can't just throw every color up on the wall without any editing. It's like living in a bowl of Skittles.

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 707/02/2013

The owner has a collection of NFL team helmets on display. You know--for color.

This is a faux loft. If a loft apartment is in new construction rather than in a conversion of old industrial/warehouse space, it never feels right.

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 807/02/2013

$2.4 million and it's in HOUSTON, TEXAS?! Wait, not even in downtown/near downtown Houston.


by Becca Cason Thrashreply 907/02/2013

The windows are nice, but the view is still of Houston.

I hated the barstools and the dining room table and chairs.

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 1007/02/2013

R8, you are correct. Houston has some true industrial loft conversions, but they're all downtown; this is relatively new construction, and downtown is quite some distance away, as you can tell from the view. I probably should have mentioned that this may be THE single most ostentatious apartment building in Houston -- which, this being Houston, is saying a lot. Pic linked below, but it really doesn't do its sheer level of godawfulness justice. Imagine a low-rise apartment building with faux Greek columns and whatnot littering the outside, then double it in height (to accommodate its units' 20-foot ceilings).

R9, you sound like an ignorant ass. Houston is, and has been since the beginning of the 2008 recession, one of the strongest housing markets in the country. In the area "inside the Loop," as it's known locally, teardowns on tiny lots routinely sell for $500K and up -- and that's not even for something in River Oaks, where eight-figure houses are routinely sold. Even in Montrose, the local gayborhood, it's impossible these days to find anything remotely decent (renovated single-family house) for under $750K or so.

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 1107/02/2013

OP--In the 8th photo just to the left of the stained glass--is that a statue of a Greek goddess on the facade? I really feel like puking. What is this neighborhood like?

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 1207/02/2013

Yep, Greek "goddess." There are a bunch of statues on the building. Makes me want to puke, too.

The neighborhood it's in is upscale -- not in River Oaks proper, but directly cross the street from its border, and within walking distance (two blocks) of the River Oaks Shopping Center, one of the oldest strip malls in the nation and, more remarkably, one that still retains its original Art Deco splendor from when it was built in the '30s. In any other city this condo monstrosity would've almost certainly been killed in the planning stages merely by zoning ordinances, but -- this being famously zoning-free Houston -- it was built nonetheless and has managed to attract its fair share of pretentious, tasteless douchebags.

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 1307/02/2013

I think it's beautiful and anyone commenting negatively is jealous.

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 1407/02/2013

"I don't see how any potential buyer wouldn't want to include at least some of the paintings and sculptures as part of the deal."

That should read, "I don't see how any potential buyer WOULD want to include any of the paintings and sculptures as part of the deal."

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 1507/02/2013

How could anyone resist one of the world's leading George Rodrigue collections? Each a unique treasure?

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 1607/02/2013

The DataLounge already has a resident bad artist, R16.

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 1707/02/2013

I like it. I like the openness, the amount of light, the blonde woods, and I even like some of the art.

I'd love to pick it up, and put it some place I could stand to live in!

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 1807/02/2013

It's like a bad children's museum.

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 1907/02/2013

Who or what the fuck is "RogerOctopusNetwork"?

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 2007/02/2013

Well, it does distract you from having to remember that you are in Houston, so there's that.

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 2107/02/2013


by Becca Cason Thrashreply 2207/02/2013

[quote] Looks very 1980's to me...Like Bette Midler's house in Ruthless People.

Bingo. I clicked on this thread to post the exact same thing.

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 2307/02/2013

R5 is right -- museum gift shop decor has arrived in Houston!

Is #11 the bathroom & the big black dish is a bathtub?

They must be animal lovers -- so many pictures of multi-colored corgi heads, & the cat faces in #2, & oddly colored animal statues throughout. So they can't be all bad.

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 2407/02/2013

(quote)The sophisticated penthouse on the fourth floor


by Becca Cason Thrashreply 2507/02/2013

It's very Houston.

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 2607/02/2013

[quote]I know how to do a quote!

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 2707/02/2013

I agree with much of what has been posted above.

It's not the kind of place that I can conceive of as providing to me that all-important "at home" feeling (but I sure as hell have seen much worse in some of the past T.F. threads).

All those declaring it museum-like are right on the mark. Something like that is what this space is pretty much ideal for. But if I had to actually live there, I would find myself spending way too much time and money either tweaking what are essentially "exhibits," or attempting, most likely in vain, to make it seem like a real home to me.

Plus, it's in [italic]Houston[/italic]?! Fuhgeddaboudit!!! In NYC, I'd at least give it a good try.

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 2807/02/2013

If I had $2.4 million dollars, Texas is the LAST place I'd choose to live.

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 2907/02/2013


by Becca Cason Thrashreply 3007/02/2013

It's a beautiful space filled with horrible artwork. But still not worth anywhere near the price they're asking.

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 3107/02/2013

Hello R20 :)

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 3207/02/2013

Alright, RogerOctopusNetwork, what does RogerOctopusNetwork mean?

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 3307/02/2013

Isn't the owner concerned about all that light fading the artwork? I know my Cher collector dolls never come out until nightfall.

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 3407/02/2013

I like the windows. Uh, yes, I like the windows. That's it.

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 3507/02/2013

Do the walls taste like snozberries?

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 3607/02/2013

It's a great space, and at $2.4 million it's dirt cheap. The same apartment in Toronto would be twice the price. Still it must cost a fortune to maintain and air condition.

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 3707/02/2013

Tom Hank's character in Big would live in this home as an adult.

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 3807/02/2013


by Becca Cason Thrashreply 3907/03/2013

The acoustics would be awful. All glass, wood and tile.

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 4007/03/2013

Everything about it smacks of trying too hard.

Too, too hard.

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 4107/03/2013

[quote]The owner has a collection of NFL team helmets on display. You know--for color.

Not even one book in sight, but stacked NFL helmets. (Which more or less says all that need be said of the place.)

It looks like the Virgin Atlantic clubhouse at Heathrow, only with large windows and not so slick. I see the owner made a big haul at the Rodrique [Blue Dog] Studio in New Orleans (Hurricane in one hand, AmEx card in the other, "I'll take it...I'll take them all. Wrap them up and send them to Houston!")

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 4207/03/2013

this looks like some garish, oversized texan interpretation of a new york loft.. terrible.

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 4307/03/2013

You know those helmets were not collected, but purchased as a complete set in one tragic transaction.

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 4407/03/2013

It's as if Jeff Koons developed a line for IKEA, then a frau and her husband (who just moved to Houston from Indiana) decorated exclusively with it.

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 4507/03/2013


by Becca Cason Thrashreply 4607/13/2013

It's not that far from downtown and near a lot of excellent places. Houston isn't as desolate as many of you Manhattan snobs pretend. Several major publications (all based on the East Coast)have critically examined Houston and found it a fascinating and good place. Excellent restaurants, good jobs, no income tax, and easy air connections everywhere. So, go ahead and criticize - this place is just one showy nightmare - there is lots of class in town. Please keep ignoring us. We don't need your type here anyway.

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 4707/13/2013

It's not a home, it's a residence

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 4807/13/2013

R47 - not a problem, it will be our pleasure. Houston sucks ass.

Anyway - back to the apartment. The use of the 3 primary colors makes it look like a pre-K space.

Very unsophisticated and not "fun".

by Becca Cason Thrashreply 4907/13/2013
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