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Let's pretend we are Dataloungers.

You eat food? You must have a 36 inch waist.

by Anonymousreply 9007/01/2013

You sound like a fattie OP. A bitter fattie. Not pretty.

You could, at the very least, try to be jolly.

by Anonymousreply 106/30/2013

My pussy stinks.

by Anonymousreply 206/30/2013

Has anyone else here had gastric bypass? I need to lose two hundred pounds.

(Thread then fills up with post-op gastric bypass patients and scores who also want to have that surgery done.)

by Anonymousreply 306/30/2013

Lovers of mobility scooters these people are.

by Anonymousreply 406/30/2013

you type poor

by Anonymousreply 506/30/2013

I can't decide who I hate more... women, or females?

by Anonymousreply 606/30/2013

Hey, what's up bros. I'm a totally straight dude. My hobbies are watching football, and touching penis with my hands and face. I would be so humiliated if I were gay like everyone else on Datalounge!

by Anonymousreply 706/30/2013

"You eat food? You must have a 36 inch waist."

Please. A few years ago, some poor person was viciously attacked for over 300 posts because he matter-of-factly said that he had a 28-inch waist. If anything, the obese have strength in numbers here.

by Anonymousreply 806/30/2013

A BMI over 30 to fit in you must have.

by Anonymousreply 906/30/2013

I need advice regarding my elderly mother!

by Anonymousreply 1006/30/2013

[quote]I can't decide who I hate more

WHOM you hare more!


You stupid fucking loser!!!!

by Anonymousreply 1106/30/2013

Mother wants me to come out of the basement to take her to the doctor, but I'm too busy eating Cheetos and watching porn.

by Anonymousreply 1206/30/2013

Weren't the 70s great? I wish it were still the 70s. I don't like anything about now. Let's talk about the 70s.

by Anonymousreply 1306/30/2013

[quote] WHOM you hare more!

HATE more!


I'm a stupid fucking loser!!!

by Anonymousreply 1406/30/2013

R11 Check it before you wreck it miss thang

by Anonymousreply 1506/30/2013

How long until the oscars?

by Anonymousreply 1606/30/2013

I'm yet another thread about The Golden Girls, because we haven't quite pumped that well dry.

by Anonymousreply 1706/30/2013

My blatino husbear and I own one television. He's a "Today" guy and I will ONLY watch "Good Morning America." I think we will probably get a divorce over this unless anyone has any suggestions for us?

by Anonymousreply 1806/30/2013

I'm an expert on everything, including how to eat pussy properly.

by Anonymousreply 1906/30/2013

Meryl's gong to win her fourth this year, I know it!

by Anonymousreply 2006/30/2013

I'm sorry all you Miss-people, but with all due respect, I knew a girl who was on Datalounge, but then I got problems of my own and then she died.

by Anonymousreply 2106/30/2013

Who should have been cast in the film version of Mame?

by Anonymousreply 2206/30/2013

My fat frau next door neighbor placed a garden gnome on her front lawn and pointed in the direction of my bedroom window. I swear the gnome is grabbing its crotch with one hand and pegging me the finger in the other. It is creeping me out. I want to confront her over this. Should I?

by Anonymousreply 2306/30/2013

"I'm not a racist but..........."

by Anonymousreply 2406/30/2013

Well, Liza clearly doesn't have the voice she once had but I could listen to her sing the phone book and still be in thrall!

by Anonymousreply 2506/30/2013

Still in my twenties, I'm 31 x 31 but friends tell me I look at least a 30 x 30.

by Anonymousreply 2606/30/2013

So that means you're a fat 20 something, r26.

by Anonymousreply 2706/30/2013

Why are movie theaters always so cold?

by Anonymousreply 2806/30/2013

I saw Les Mis last week and it's the best movie of the decade.. I saw Heat on Tuesday and it's brilliance tops Citizen Kane!!!

by Anonymousreply 2906/30/2013

CLOSELY read R1, R26 ... sez skinny jolly me ... we see you in your basement!

by Anonymousreply 3006/30/2013

I'm the stealth soap thread title/

"Reports: Midwestern Psychiatrist Rumored to the Possessed by Satan"

by Anonymousreply 3106/30/2013

Resolved: no matter the evidence, I will not get involved in a peeing contest with DL crones.

by Anonymousreply 3206/30/2013

Do you believe in ghosts?

Tell me your scary supernatural stories! I'm too lazy to search for the other threads I've started where I ask you to tell your supernatural stories.

Let's have another thread about people who mysteriously disappeared! The other one is 6 weeks old already. We need a new one that talks about the same disappearances.

I'm so obsessed by the Zodiac Killer I need to start another Zodiac thread!

by Anonymousreply 3306/30/2013

(Name of random food) is poison! It caused my disease.

(Name of random food) cured me of my illness! it cures everything!

by Anonymousreply 3406/30/2013


by Anonymousreply 3506/30/2013

I'm a straight female and my very heterosexual husband and I are expecting a baby boy. My bestest friend at work is a fabulous gay guy and we cannot seem to agree in the area of circumcising his little wee-wee. My studly husband is totally not into the peen and has left it up to me. What should I do?

by Anonymousreply 3606/30/2013

I'm not a racist but....

I don't hate femmy guys but....

I don't hate women but.....

by Anonymousreply 3706/30/2013

Die in a grease fire, freepereena!

by Anonymousreply 3806/30/2013


by Anonymousreply 3906/30/2013

Racism, racism, racism!!!

by Anonymousreply 4006/30/2013

I'm vomiting blood. What should I do?

by Anonymousreply 4106/30/2013

The fat, middle aged frau in the next cube has horrible body odor and halitosis. My co-workers want to confront her about it. Should we do an intervention?

by Anonymousreply 4206/30/2013

I'm going to read every single post and reply until I find a spelling or grammar error. No day can go by without a single "Oh, dear" from me.

by Anonymousreply 4306/30/2013

Does this caftan make me look fat?

by Anonymousreply 4406/30/2013

My hot, 22 y/o blatino neighbor washes his car every weekend in nothing but gym shorts--commando. I think he might be interested in me because I caught him glancing over at my house a few times while I was peeking through the curtains. How can I let him know I would welcome a NSA summer fling.

by Anonymousreply 4506/30/2013

I think everyone is very interested in hearing what I eat!

by Anonymousreply 4606/30/2013

What the fuck is a "Blatino husbear"?

by Anonymousreply 4706/30/2013

Every single television show currently on the air has jumped the shark!!

by Anonymousreply 4806/30/2013

I'm Dorthy Zbornak's wedding gown and I'm here to take your questions.

by Anonymousreply 4906/30/2013

Let's speculate wildly about MAD MEN storylines and pretend we know something!

I'm crying about dead hawt porn stars. I feel funny about masturbating to them. Now that they're dead. But they're still hawt.


by Anonymousreply 5006/30/2013

I've been laying in bed for the last six months eating lard and drinking vegetable oil. Today I started having a arm and shoulder pain. My chest also fills like there's an elephant sitting on it. I'm also having jaw pain. What do you think is wrong. Should make a dentist appointment?

by Anonymousreply 5106/30/2013

My neighbors hot teenage son is home from college. He was outside in the back yard with no shirt on putting up a clothesline. Those people are pure trash. I'm going to forgive them though because their son has got mama's mussy in a torrential down pour. I had to go grab my $5000.00 eye glasses that I just bought so that I could get a better look at him. He gave mama's mussy and mama's heart palpitations. Mama's going to have to increase her medication. What medications are you'all taking? I'm going to take an apple pie over to the neighbors so that I can talk to their son. Does anybody have a good apple pie recipe and how should I go about seducing their son. Any suggestions? Mama's mussy is hotter than a thousand suns and wetter than a million oceans.

by Anonymousreply 5206/30/2013


by Anonymousreply 5306/30/2013

This is why they hate us.

by Anonymousreply 5406/30/2013


by Anonymousreply 5506/30/2013

I'm Elaine Stritch's bottle of bourbon and I'm here taking questions. Go for it bitches!

by Anonymousreply 5606/30/2013

The island of Manhattan revolves around my asshole, like a gigantic child's mobile over a playpen.

by Anonymousreply 5706/30/2013

Stop calling me racist and sexist. Just because I don't like anyone who isn't a white male; it doesn't mean I'm racist or sexist. You are the true and you make me sick. You're always going around calling people racist. You lesbians are always calling people sexist. Just because I don't think woman have any real value; that doesn't make me a sexist. Just because I belong to the KKK; that doesn't make me a racist. Just because I burn crosses on black peoples front lawns that doesn't make me a racist. You name callers are all alike. Always causing trouble.

by Anonymousreply 5806/30/2013


by Anonymousreply 5906/30/2013

I'm a Tasteful Friend who, upon the next obliging posting of some hapless NYSD piece, gives the slideshow a brisk if beady viewing, then goes to town.

I will post an effortless takedown of the sort of property and decoration unlikely ever to be available to me, mocking the vanity and pretensions of the narcissistic owner-occupier.

They had it coming, and any envy I plausibly feel is mastered by my accurate witty derision.

by Anonymousreply 6006/30/2013

Downton Abbey streaming on the Internet so I don't have to wait 6 months to watch it on PBS?That's horseshit!

by Anonymousreply 6106/30/2013

I'm overly involved in whether people should be circumcised or not.

by Anonymousreply 6206/30/2013

I have to take a dump. I know, I'll go to the store and shit in a dressing room!

by Anonymousreply 6306/30/2013

Hi, I'm a dumb frau cunt and I came to Datalounge because I thought it was full of the cute, stereotypical gay men I see on tv. I am shocked and appalled that the gay men on here act like real gay men do in the real world and not Will and Jack and those adorable boys on Glee! I will scream and holler to get all the threads that I don't like deleted.

by Anonymousreply 6406/30/2013

Is this a soap thread, because I hate soaps and I'm stupid and have deeply rooted mommy issues that stem from her giving me daily enemas while she watched "Days of Our Lives" until I left for college.

by Anonymousreply 6506/30/2013

When I meet a hunky young boy at the club, I always invite them back to my house for a game of find the $100 bill and a delicious cup of hot Sanka decaffeinated coffee loaded with GHB.


by Anonymousreply 6606/30/2013

Elias Koteas is a rugged, virile Grecian daddy with an impressively masculine protrusion...

by Anonymousreply 6707/01/2013

I love Elias, too. I thought I was the only one.

by Anonymousreply 6807/01/2013

Papi's pinga! Papi's pinga!

by Anonymousreply 6907/01/2013

Blacks should only be used for their big nigger dicks. But, I'm not racist.

Ew Middle Eastern men. They wear too much cologne and they're hairy.

by Anonymousreply 7007/01/2013

"I'm a single gay guy who looks just like Elias Koteas but in real life nobody pays me any attention!"

by Anonymousreply 7107/01/2013

Absoultely all of the men in gay porn are straight, even the ones that say they're gay. I need this to be true to ease my own psychological issues, and weird self-hating fantasies. All better-looking gay men in general are straight.

On the other hand, all of the men in gay porn are gay. Every last one. Even if there's evidence to the contrary. Hell, straight porn too, and mainstream acting. Just any attractive males in general, really. Everyone is gay, becasue no real straight guy would ever touch another man without vomiting. That would be against the laws of straightness. I'm as narrow-minded as certain homophobes in my own way.

I'm two sides of the same coin, and I'm an officially licensed straight-guy-ologist, who spends all day obsessing over the rules of real, and imagined qualities of this species I will never be able to actually relate to. I have both a superiority and inferiority complex in relation to them at the same time, somehow.

by Anonymousreply 7207/01/2013

I grew up on an estate in New England, old money. Private schools, private clubs, attended the same Ivy that all the men in my paternal line have. We came over on the Mayflower.

Today I make mid-seven figures annually and live a lavish lifestyle, the details of which, like my upbringing, I nonchalantly bring up at every opportunity. I especially like starting threads about topics that interest or concern only the very wealthy, and I love analyzing other people's posts for signs of inauthenticity. If I deem a certain poster is misrepresenting their lineage, putting on airs or over-reaching their social station, I will mock them endlessly for their crass behavior and innate inferiority.

In truth, I grew up in suburban tract housing, went to a state school, work in a cubicle, and have a substance abuse problem that I indulge while spinning these yarns. I'm incredibly shallow, insecure and self-loathing.

by Anonymousreply 7307/01/2013


by Anonymousreply 7407/01/2013

Does actress Jan Maxwell get food stamps? She lives in that subsidized apartment complex on 9th.

by Anonymousreply 7507/01/2013

some really tedious shit about how Madonna is an old crone but Lady Gaga is perfect in every way

by Anonymousreply 7607/01/2013

I insist that all male celebrities who I find attractive are gay, because I deal with the fact that Hugh Jackman actually is straight.

by Anonymousreply 7707/01/2013

Danny Pino pinga pls!!!

by Anonymousreply 7807/01/2013

Danny Pintauro hole, please!?!?!?!

by Anonymousreply 7907/01/2013

I am needy and crave straight male approval. I fetishize and idolize straight men, and I resent straight women because I view them as competition.

by Anonymousreply 8007/01/2013

I'm a cunt

by Anonymousreply 8107/01/2013

Thread over.

by Anonymousreply 8207/01/2013

Sounds great. I can't wait.

by Anonymousreply 8307/01/2013

I bought a beautiful new caftan at Chico's last week. I wore it to run a few errands this weekend and then I treated myself to lunch at Red Robin. They have the most delicious food there. Have you ever been? I came home to my exclusive neighborhood, where we don't allow clotheslines. I got out of my car and waved at my neighbors hot college age son. He makes mama's mussy perpetually moist. I spent the rest of the evening curled up on the sofa in my beautiful caftan with my 12 wonderful cats. They are my babies. I get in trouble with them if I stay out too long and don't call to let them know where I am. Last week they got mad with me and locked me out of the house. Today I went back over to Chico's to return my Caftan and the black cashier was so rude. She tryed to give me a hard time. You know how "They" are. She said the Caftan had an odor and I know that I don't smell. I don't sweat and I don't even need to wear deodorant. As a matter of fact I don't even have to bathe regularly. I have a natural freshness and so does my home (in my exclusive neighborhood where we don't allow clotheslines. Anyway my babies the kitties do the housework and they keep the house fresh as a daisy. I don't know what that black girls problem was. How dare she. Anyway left there and went over to McDonalds and tried their new McRib. Have you tried it. Its delicious. I had to rush home because tonight I'm having a Will and Grace Party. We're going to watch all 8 seasons. Does anybody have any recipe ideas for a Will & Grace Party. Speaking of recipes, its just terrible what they've done to Paula Deen. Its just a witch hunt.

by Anonymousreply 8407/01/2013


Revise with a view to appropriate paragraph length.

by Anonymousreply 8507/01/2013

[quote]I insist that all male celebrities who I find attractive are gay

WHOM, you moron.

by Anonymousreply 8607/01/2013

Which medications should I take for my bipolar panic-disorder agoraphobia Asperger's, seasonal affective social anxiety disorder? In which dosages? Can you point me to a foreign pharmacy website so I won't need a prescription? I don't have insurance. Thanks a bunch.

(300 replies quickly materialise, all suggesting which pills OP should take.)

by Anonymousreply 8707/01/2013

I walked naked down the Casto. Folks were staring and gawking, but I am beautiful in my way, and those folks are homophobic. All of those folks on my journey to self acceptance that would not commune with me sexually are sexually repressed, self hating, homophobic Nazis.

by Anonymousreply 8807/01/2013

I'm a pathetic, under-unemployed parasite living in my mom's basement. I'm deeply envious of successful people and I can barely conceal my rage at their good fortune. It gives me some small measure of power and satisfaction to make impotent threats on an anonymous gossip site like, "when do we kill all the rich people" or "let's bring back the guillotine."

by Anonymousreply 8907/01/2013

Head On. Apply directly to forehead.

Head On. Apply directly to forehead.

Head On. Apply directly to forehead.

Head On. Apply directly to forehead.

by Anonymousreply 9007/01/2013
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