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My boyfriend said the strangest thing

We celebrated a friend's promotion tonight and my boyfriend got pretty wasted. I just put him to bed, but before he passed out he grabbed my arm and said, and I quote, "I would have no problem destroying you." Then he passed out.

Now I'm all weirded out. I know, get a blog - but isn't that weird?

by Anonymousreply 10611/11/2013

OP, you in danger gurl...

by Anonymousreply 106/28/2013

I am sorry for your troubles, but I have problems of my own.

by Anonymousreply 206/28/2013

Are you dating Darth Vader by any chance? I bet he's hot under all that armor.

by Anonymousreply 306/28/2013

He probably means your hole.

by Anonymousreply 406/28/2013

Sounds like he was practicing his Victoria Grayson impression, but in his drunken state he mixed up the words a little.

by Anonymousreply 506/28/2013

Maybe he meant that he'd have no problem fucking you until your ass is destroyed.

by Anonymousreply 606/28/2013

Is he bigger than you?

by Anonymousreply 706/28/2013

[all posts by ham-fisted troll a removed.]

by Anonymousreply 806/28/2013

Maybe you said something at dinner that quietly pissed him off. Think back.

by Anonymousreply 906/28/2013

Sleep with one eye open, gurl!

by Anonymousreply 1006/28/2013

Has he ever said or put out this kind of vibe before?

I had a bf who would say vile things out of the blue and yes it ended very badly.

by Anonymousreply 1106/28/2013

[all posts by ham-fisted troll a removed.]

by Anonymousreply 1206/28/2013

for OP:

by Anonymousreply 1306/28/2013

Inject him with a heavy dose of sedatives. Tie him to a chair and then cut off both of his hands.

When he comes to -- be sitting across from him and give him your best - "Oh yeah?"

I bet he'll blush deeply and then start cracking up. Boy will you two have a big laugh about it.

by Anonymousreply 1406/28/2013

Keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer...think about it.

A true lover would never say that, especially when he's drunk. For he's stating something he would dare not say to you, because its in his inner mind.

Remember, wherever you go, there you are!

by Anonymousreply 1506/28/2013


by Anonymousreply 1606/28/2013

It sounds like he doesn't love you. If he blew you off, he wouldn't care.

by Anonymousreply 1706/28/2013

Since he was wasted OP, I'm gonna say he still thought he was at dinner, had no idea who you were and his inner monologue about the friend's promotion came out which is why he got so wasted in the first place. Your friend should watch his back...or what R10 said.

by Anonymousreply 1806/28/2013

Tough call. Sometimes when people are drunk they say something they think is funny and assume it will taken as joke and nothing more. And sometimes when people are drunk they say things they really feel but would never say out loud when they are sober. Has he ever said something in the past while sober that was really off the wall but was clearly not meant to be taken seriously?

by Anonymousreply 1906/28/2013

He's deeply pissed off. Only you know or do not know why.

by Anonymousreply 2006/28/2013

No, even wasted he knew who you are. If your in a new relationship, still hot and bothered with each other then the others are correct, he wants to destroy that ass.

But if things are going so well, he might be harboring some anger towards you that slipped out.

In that case, he is an ass ready to make your life a lot like this:

by Anonymousreply 2106/28/2013

It's because you over-cooked the roast, OP. Remember? Two years ago in March?

by Anonymousreply 2206/28/2013

He's jealous of your friend's promotion, and mistakenly (drunkenly) took his anger out on you.

by Anonymousreply 2306/28/2013

Or, he wants to rape your friends ass.

by Anonymousreply 2406/28/2013

I've had a couple of close friends get so drunk they thought I was someone else. I can't remember details but I said something to them that triggered thoughts of someone else and they talked to me as if I were these people.

by Anonymousreply 2506/28/2013

If I take like 20mgs of Xanax and get drunk, my blacked-out self can do and say weird, funny, and sometimes vicious/threatening thing.

One time (according to my friends) I told a male stripper, "No thanks, I can see a bigger one at home for free." For some reason I was asked to leave the club.

Another time, I stood up through the sunroof and screamed at a cop, "How much, sexy? I'm into uniforms."

Then one time I ended up in the Lohan suite at the hospital. Woopsie!

by Anonymousreply 2606/28/2013

Was Tyler wearing his trademark Madea outfit when he said it?

by Anonymousreply 2706/28/2013

Drunk people say all kinds of crazy stuff , OP I wouldn't worry about it.

by Anonymousreply 2806/28/2013

That would weird me out too, OP, because it's a really fucked up thing to say. Just ask him about it in the morning.

Does he have a mean streak? How long have you been dating?

by Anonymousreply 2906/28/2013

Please tell us his name isn't Brandon...

by Anonymousreply 3006/28/2013

Nothing from OP in three hours.

by Anonymousreply 3106/28/2013

Let the alcoholic fucker wake up to an empty empty empty residence and NO boyfriend.

He may subconsciously think he has the ability to destroy you but show him the only thing he's destroyed is the relationship.

by Anonymousreply 3206/28/2013

OP, if you need me, you know where to find me.

by Anonymousreply 3306/29/2013

OP hasn't responded.



by Anonymousreply 3406/29/2013

Your BF is:

a) an alkie


b) a sociopathic alkie

You're welcome....

by Anonymousreply 3506/29/2013

Relax, he was talking to the cockroach on the wall

by Anonymousreply 3606/29/2013

Not normal thing to say even for a wasted person. Don't confront him but don't blow it off either. Keep your eyes open. He's got big problems and you probably aren't safe. Good luck.

by Anonymousreply 3706/29/2013

Did he say this with an English accent, while pretending to be standing behind a Plexiglas/elephant-tusk desk while scheming to launch a hostile takeover of Denver-Carrington?

by Anonymousreply 3806/29/2013

First contrary to popular belief, alcohol is not a truth serum, it makes you irrational. Talk to him about it and explain what a negative impact his comment has had on you. He probably won't remember it, but maybe together if you replay the evening you both can think of what must have prompted him to say that. Maybe he was very envious of your friend who told him an ugly story involving stepping on other people to get where he is.

by Anonymousreply 3906/29/2013

[quote]First contrary to popular belief, alcohol is not a truth serum, it makes you irrational.

In vino veritas.

by Anonymousreply 4006/29/2013

I'm just saying it might be a good idea to keep a big knife under your pillow

by Anonymousreply 4106/29/2013

R39, it does make you irrational, but it also lowers inhibition and that can cause you to say things you feel and think, but wouldn't ordinarily say out loud.

by Anonymousreply 4206/29/2013

Who here hasn't gotten drunk and told someone you love them - then remembering it the next day and regretting it?

by Anonymousreply 4306/29/2013

R43: But it was always true, wasn't it?

by Anonymousreply 4406/29/2013

OP's boyfriend resents (hates?) him...scary. The question is: Why?

by Anonymousreply 4506/29/2013

OP tell this story to your BF, only make it sound as if its about a friend and his bf. See what response you get.

by Anonymousreply 4606/29/2013

I'm sorry miss, but with all due respect, I've got problems of my own.

by Anonymousreply 4706/29/2013

I doubt your boyfriend was in any condition to recognize he was talking to you.

Drunks have an internal stream of consciousness that wouldn't make sense to anyone else, not even to themselves when they're sober. Anyone who hears a snippet of that stream will be baffled because there's no context.

by Anonymousreply 4806/29/2013

OP here, he's pretty hung over this morning and I'm not going to bring it up. I'm sure it was just a drunk thing and I was over-thinking the comments of a man who had a little too much scotch. Thank for the responses, especially the funny ones.

R7, he is bigger than me. I'm 6'0/175 and he's 6'3/225.

r11, Not really. But he is crazy jealous.

r23, perhaps. They're at the same firm, and even though they're good friends, my bf doesn't think the friend does a good job.

r29, he has a temper, but nothing that I care about. We've been together 2 years.

by Anonymousreply 4906/29/2013

[quote] If I take like 20mgs of Xanax and get drunk,

Honey, if you took 20 mg of Xanax, you wouldn't be conscious enough to get drunk.

by Anonymousreply 5006/29/2013

I'm think he wanted to destroy your ass.

Are you keeping secrets? Do you feel guilty?

Just ask him when he wakes up but he probably won't remember.

by Anonymousreply 5106/29/2013

OP, I'd be careful. Are you the Linda Evans in the relationship? His inner Joan Collins is just one slap away from coming out.

by Anonymousreply 5206/29/2013

[quote]....he has a temper....

Red flag! And why don't you care? He sounds like a big, fat jerk.

by Anonymousreply 5306/29/2013

Oh, I SO agree with R53. WHEREVER that creepy comment came from, it's not a good place. SUCH an angry, violent thing to say, even in a drunken stupor. I think it would forever sort of change the way I looked at the boyfriend; I would keep that comment in my back pocket. And wait for more.

by Anonymousreply 5406/29/2013

I agree with r53 and r54.

OP, you've already got some classic warning signs of a potentially dangerous partner. Crazy jealousy is one and a bad temper is another. Although you said his temper doesn't affect you, I'm betting that you've already altered some of your behavior around it. Maybe, you haven't altered it so much that it bothers you yet, but just wait.

And if those red flags weren't enough, that comment is just a blatant one. There is NO reason to say something like that if it isn't a warning or some kind. He's letting you know something and you should listen.

I think you need to be alert and observant. For god sake's listen to your intuition. You wouldn't be posting on here if your intuition wasn't telling you that something is wrong. There is practically no violent or abusive situation that comes without any warning and now you've had a few. The problem is that by the time the violence occurs, the receiver of the violence has already gotten very used to blowing off abnormal behavior that they are dulled to the obvious signals to "get out now".

Sorry if I sound dire, but people get killed by their partners every day.

by Anonymousreply 5506/29/2013


by Anonymousreply 5606/29/2013

I think it means rough sex.

by Anonymousreply 5706/29/2013

Hi OP. I too have a temper. I think that's no big deal, so long as the temper isn't abusive - that is the key. I blow up easily because I have a passionate personality. Everyone who is attracted to passionate people knows there is a plus and a minus. With me, no low blows, no hitting. Just pushy, whiny, and demanding. I aim to be fair, but if I'm not and my partner confronts me, I concede. Is that like your bf? You sound like an even-keel type. Even-keel people create good balance for passionate people, being able to take outbursts in stride.

The crazy jealousy thing could be an issue, especially if it leads to irrational behavior and the person is prone to get physical (I'm not, I just yell and cry).

I strongly disagree with everyone who says keep it to yourself. The way to bliss in relationship is through staying current and transparent about everything. The way to a failed relationship is through keeping things to yourself. The passionate person is capable of intimacy and depth like most are not. You have an opportunity here. Don't squander it.

Tell him what he said and say it makes you feel unsafe. Tell him you can only have a relationship with him if you feel safe. Then be quiet and see what he says. Does he blow it off, or laugh it off to drunkenness? Does he take it seriously? Does he indicate that he wants to make you feel safe? Needing to make you feel safe is crucial. He needs to show that you matter to him, that you feeling comfortable in the relationship is a foundational requirement. If he doesn't answer in a way that feels right, then you really have to sit with that and look at what you're doing with your life and with this person.

The path to deeper intimacy can be uncomfortable briefly, but so worth it. Makes everything better.

by Anonymousreply 5806/29/2013

R58, I think the OP already doesn't feel safe because of the comment. And some other stuff. So, "bargaining with the devil" really is not smart, is it? Intuition about a person is much more important than tipping your hand. You can't reason with a scorpion. It will always sting you. I suggest NOT talking about it. LISTEN TO PEOPLE. THEY WILL SHOW YOU WHO THEY ARE. And when they say things. BELIEVE THEM. You don't need to "talk it out" sometimes.

by Anonymousreply 5906/29/2013

OP are you Matt Bomer?

by Anonymousreply 6006/29/2013

I don't know why but this made me giggle. I'm sure it doesn't mean anything. Maybe you should get some bondage gear, dress up and when he comes home from work be there with all this gear on and your tuchas up in the air. Might do the trick.

by Anonymousreply 6106/29/2013

R59, I don't think so. I think OP is already comfortable with his partner, and this was a disconcerting anomaly. It's good he's thinking about it and not just blowing it off.

People are quick to jump out of relationships. Too many people don't give themselves, their partners, and their relationships a chance to grow. We're all skittish like deer. Why not see what else is possible with the one you already care about?

Also, I've said and done some crazy things at times. I have lost friends and relationships because of it, when they could have just shared their real feelings and I could have shifted things. Granted, I'm reasonable and not crazy. I don't know if the bf is crazy, but it's worth a shot to believe one's partner is capable of growth.

by Anonymousreply 6206/29/2013

R58, if you have temper and you blow up easily and you think "that is no big deal," then you get what you get. No WONDER you have lost friends and relationships. "Shifted things" my ass. My motto is "let people show you who they are. In time, they will." All one has to do is wait and watch. Who wants a friend with a "temper?" What the hell is THAT? Being on pins and needles around someone, never feeling completely comfortable and not knowing when they were going to go off about something? Not for me.

by Anonymousreply 6306/29/2013

By temper I mean I freak out about things easily. I rant about politics, I rant about the driver who nearly made me crash, etc. I don't blow up at friends. Neither do I act like I'm on quaaludes without an emotion or personality. But I've made faux pas and not realized it, because my friends weren't honest enough to confront me.

You're entitled to do as you wish. I like to see humans as works in progress rather than expecting people to be perfect without quirks. If people are willing to grow, I work with them and give them a chance. That's one of the ways I show that I care, by letting them know they were out of line and that doesn't work for me. Which hopefully creates a conversation and mutual understanding. If they prove to be faking it or not interested in improving themselves, those are the people I walk from.

by Anonymousreply 6406/30/2013

Surprise him.

Smother him in his sleep tonight.

by Anonymousreply 6506/30/2013

6"3, 225? Hot. Stay with him even if it kills you.

by Anonymousreply 6606/30/2013

R64, okay your explanation makes you sound much more like a NICE person who is just "excitable," shall we say. There is a difference between people like you who are passionate people (the type that friends say about them "Oh, Bob, calm down. And then they turn to someone and say "He GETS like this." with a loving eye roll) vs. true, scary assholes who excuse their own anger and abuse with "It's just how I am. Take it or leave it."

No matter what, if my boyfriend (or ANYONE) said to me, drunk or not, "I would have no problem destroying you," I would be creeped out so much. How DISTURBING is that statement!

by Anonymousreply 6706/30/2013

OP threatened him first, I'm guessing, but being a borderline doesn't remember what he himself said.

by Anonymousreply 6806/30/2013

OP, who's the top?

by Anonymousreply 6906/30/2013

OP, it's over. He knows, you don't. You call him your boyfriend ... ok, but he is not your life. Get out now.

by Anonymousreply 7006/30/2013

OP I think he means he wants to destroy your ass.

by Anonymousreply 7106/30/2013


It's pretty clear cut. He coldly threatened you with destruction. He probably feels you flirted too much with the promoted friend or whoever.

by Anonymousreply 7207/01/2013

OP, I’m a little worried about you. Jealousy mixed with "a bit of a temper" plus him saying such a violent thing equals one night he might accidentally kill you. What more warning sign do you need? CNN just ran an article on the Lauren Astley murder being used as a case example for teens in high schools to look out for one another and be on the watch for early warning signs of domestic abuse and relationship violence. You'd be remiss not to consider this event, on top of the things you've already told us, to be just that.

I would consider ending the relationship or at least addressing these concerns with him (in a public place).

by Anonymousreply 7307/01/2013

OP, have you confronted your boyfriend about said statement?!

by Anonymousreply 7407/01/2013

Pillow. Face. Slight pressure. Crisis averted.

by Anonymousreply 7507/01/2013

Drunk Translation: Sex

by Anonymousreply 7607/01/2013

In his drunken state he thought you were his REAL boyfriend.

Of course you could always ask him, share your concern, and weep. You're good at that, aren't you?

by Anonymousreply 7707/01/2013

Everything ok, OP?

by Anonymousreply 7807/11/2013

OP's boyfriend had no problem destroying him.

by Anonymousreply 7907/11/2013

Wasn't your boyfriend talking about your friend, the one who got a promotion?

by Anonymousreply 8007/11/2013

Didn't any of you see OP's post at R49?

by Anonymousreply 8107/11/2013

Silence from OP. Has he been destroyed?

by Anonymousreply 8207/13/2013

I think Halle Berry should play the part of OP in "Sleeping with my Destroyer"

by Anonymousreply 8307/13/2013

You're Bobby Ewing, aren't you? And you've been fucking J.R. all along! I knew it!

by Anonymousreply 8407/13/2013

No I have not been destroyed.I just never mentioned it to him and we were on vacation and there were no issues. So I'm going to just let it rest and avoid any drama.

by Anonymousreply 8507/13/2013

There's only one solution: surprise anal.

by Anonymousreply 8607/13/2013

OP, you are really not very bright if you don't bring this up with him and discuss. But if you don't, you deserve what's coming down the pike.

by Anonymousreply 8707/13/2013

My boyfriend just told me that his parents hate me and that it would be best if I don't participate in his family events any longer. It has nothing to do with the gay thing, they just don't like me. What kind of people would tell their son that they hate his boyfriend and not to bring him around anymore?

by Anonymousreply 8811/11/2013

r88, what do you think of the parents? Is this mutual? Are they "hateful" people? Or are you a douche?

by Anonymousreply 8911/11/2013

OP just wanted a thread of his own, he's good now, all stoked up on drama and attention. His boyfriend is 5'9", 165 and said "I could destroy a bucket of chicken and it wouldn't bother me a bit". Then he prepared two sandwiches, a glass of milk and a moon pie.

by Anonymousreply 9011/11/2013

Actually OP I've used those very words when drunk, but I don't remember why or to whom.

by Anonymousreply 9111/11/2013

r88, please post more info. What is the family like?

by Anonymousreply 9211/11/2013

He was channeling Alexis Carrington.

by Anonymousreply 9311/11/2013

Is OP's boyfriend a Scorpio, by chance?

by Anonymousreply 9411/11/2013

R88 - homophobes

Seeing you two together is worse than just "knowing" he is gay..

by Anonymousreply 9511/11/2013

I'm sorry R92, I posted and then my power went out. Anyway, I thought they were nice people. Very down to earth, working class folks. I didn't get any weird vibes from them. This whole thing totally came out of the blue. I asked my bf if it was something that I did or said and he said that they just don't like me and that he would have to go solo to his family events from now on. The whole thing is strange.

by Anonymousreply 9611/11/2013

No R95. They're not homophobes. They've accepting, both of them and his family.

by Anonymousreply 9711/11/2013

R96 maybe boyfriend is making it up for some reason?

by Anonymousreply 9811/11/2013

But why, r98? I believe him, but he is very close to his family. So how far can this relationship go if his parents hate me?

by Anonymousreply 9911/11/2013

What have your interactions been like with his family? It sounds like you aren't telling us the whole story.

by Anonymousreply 10011/11/2013

A few dinners, one Thanksgiving, a beach trip. That's it r100. I thought they all went well, I guess I was wrong.

by Anonymousreply 10111/11/2013

It sounds very fishy imo. Do you have another way of checking the accuracy of your bfs statement?

by Anonymousreply 10211/11/2013

Does he have an ex his family adored? Or is it possible he's thinking of ending things with you and wants to stop bringing you around for that reason, but hasn't found a way to actually end your relationship?

by Anonymousreply 10311/11/2013

[quote]What kind of people would tell their son that they hate his boyfriend and not to bring him around anymore?

Good question. From what you've said there were no fights and you thought everything was going well. It doesn't add up, does it?

My gut tells me r98 is right.

Why would your partner go along with his parents on this? Wouldn't your partner want to know what their reasons were? Wouldn't he be on your side if they didn't have a good reason?

by Anonymousreply 10411/11/2013

Maybe he wants an excuse to leave alone so he can cheat on you.

by Anonymousreply 10511/11/2013

there's someone else/he's on his way one would just decide to not bring his partner to family events anymore without some important reason, or at least have a talk about what to do about it, how to solve it. Ugh, so sorry OP...this doesn't smell right at all.

by Anonymousreply 10611/11/2013
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