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North Carolina Becomes First State To Eliminate Unemployment Benefits

RALEIGH, N.C. (AP) — With changes to its unemployment law taking effect this weekend, North Carolina not only is cutting benefits for those who file new claims, it will become the first state disqualified from a federal compensation program for the long-term jobless.

State officials adopted the package of benefit cuts and increased taxes for businesses in February, a plan designed to accelerate repayment of a $2.5 billion federal debt. Like many states, North Carolina had racked up the debt by borrowing from Washington after its unemployment fund was drained by jobless benefits during the Great Recession.

The changes go into effect Sunday for North Carolina, which has the country’s fifth-worst jobless rate. The cuts on those who make unemployment claims on or after that day will disqualify the state from receiving federally funded Emergency Unemployment Compensation. That money kicks in after the state’s period of unemployment compensation — now shortened from up to six months to no more than five — runs out. The EUC program is available to long-term jobless in all states. But keeping the money flowing includes a requirement that states can’t cut average weekly benefits.

Because North Carolina leaders cut average weekly benefits for new claims, about 170,000 workers whose state benefits expire this year will lose more than $700 million in EUC payments, the U.S. Labor Department said.

Lee Creighton, 45, of Cary, said he’s been unemployed since October, and this is the last week for which he’ll get nearly $500 in unemployment aid. He said he was laid off from a position managing statisticians and writers amid the recession’s worst days in 2009 and has landed and lost a series of government and teaching jobs since then — work that paid less half as much. His parents help him buy groceries to get by.

“I’m just not sure what I’m going to do,” said Creighton, who has a doctorate. “What are we to do? Is the state prepared to have this many people with no source of income?”

With the changes to North Carolina law, state benefits will last three to five months — at the longer end when unemployment rates are higher. Qualifying for benefits becomes more difficult. Weekly payments for those collecting the current maximum benefit of $535 drop to $350, falling from the highest in the Southeast to comparable with neighboring states.

Republican leaders who control the General Assembly sought an exception to the federal law two months before voting to change unemployment benefits. Congress last year allowed Pennsylvania, Indiana, Arkansas and Rhode Island to proceed with cuts to weekly benefits that their legislatures had approved for after the expected expiration of federal benefits, which later were extended.

North Carolina’s request was never acted on.

Other states this year cut unemployment benefits and restricted eligibility, but none included drops in weekly benefits, said George Wentworth of the National Employment Law Project, a worker-advocacy group.

All states are aware of the no-reduction provision, said Doug Holmes, who heads the National Foundation for Unemployment Compensation & Workers’ Compensation, which represents businesses on unemployment insurance issues.

“Many of them considered doing something that would reduce the weekly benefit amount, but for whatever reason chose not to take the step of enacting legislation,” he said. “But North Carolina also had one of the biggest problems.”

Twenty states carry such federal debt. The Labor Department declined to comment on North Carolina’s looming situation but said no other state is considering changing benefits in a way that would imperil U.S. help.

Supporters of the new North Carolina law say the reduced benefits and increased business taxes are necessary to repay the federal debt — the third-largest in the country.

Labor groups, Democratic congressmen and the state NAACP want to delay the cuts until the federal program expires in January, but lawmakers and GOP Gov. Pat McCrory have refused.

by Anonymousreply 13107/01/2013

(cont'd)

Delaying would burden businesses and potentially increase the debt, said Rep. Julia Howard, R-Davie. The cuts also will push people to find work faster, then move to a better job as the economy improves, she said.

“It may not be the job that you want or your career for the rest of your life. But to take a job, get back into the job market,” Howard said.

Opponents who have staged protests nearly every week against Republican policies say lawmakers are slashing a safety net for the poor while corporations and the wealthy benefit.

Overall, the changes will mean $3.6 billion in total benefit cuts and higher costs to employers through 2017, according to the General Assembly’s fiscal research office. Benefit cuts on the jobless make up 74 percent of that figure. The accelerated target for repaying the federal debt, which fell to $2.1 billion in June, is sometime in 2015 rather than 2018.

North Carolina companies now pay an additional $42 per employee yearly to pay the debt. Without the changes, businesses’ unemployment insurance taxes would rise by $21 per employee every year until the federal debt is paid.

The state’s top business lobby, the North Carolina Chamber, primarily assembled the package of proposals that lawmakers adopted.

“You’ve got to pick a point in time where you solve the problem. They picked a point in time that allowed us the most time to pay the debt as quickly as we can and get a new program in place so that we can help people find work,” said Gary Salamido, the group’s top lobbyist. “It’s a very unfortunate circumstance for everybody involved.”

Wayne Bostick, 58, of Raleigh, said he lost his job in April 2011 and will lose extended federal benefits immediately. He said he earned about $700 a week in take-home pay, often working double shifts at a ConAgra Foods plant until it shut down after a fatal explosion. Since then, he said, the only jobs he’s found matching his skills pay less than $10 an hour and are outside Raleigh. Now he’ll have to revisit those or start a handyman business.

“I’d rather do that than bring home $200” after commuting and taxes, he said. “They are really putting the gun to your head now.”

by Anonymousreply 106/28/2013

Crackers

by Anonymousreply 206/28/2013

The South continues its hateful stupidity.

by Anonymousreply 306/29/2013

Be prepared for increasingly more desperate people to do increasingly more desperate things.

by Anonymousreply 406/29/2013

I was just about to post the same thing, R4.

Crime is going to go through the roof.

by Anonymousreply 506/29/2013

How come there's no activist attorneys for these people? For the poor? Well?

by Anonymousreply 606/29/2013

Jesus Christ! These people have families to feed. NC will see a rise in broken homes, homelessness, and suicide. This is just evil.

by Anonymousreply 706/29/2013

Surely their great chrishitstained god will provide for the poor ss NC's chrishitstained politicians have provided for business.

Oh yee of little faith

by Anonymousreply 906/29/2013

JHC, can't the 6-letter word in the White House DO something?! (sorry; I voted for him and know the Pres isn't a dictator, but this is hideous! Fucking Repubs think that there should be a constitutional amendment against same-sex marriages, well, I think there should be some constitutional amendment that NO state can get rid of unemployment! Fuck! WHAT are people supposed to do??

(FYI, "6-letter word" of course ends in "e."

by Anonymousreply 1006/29/2013

Does R8 even speak English?

by Anonymousreply 1106/29/2013

They are trying to turn the US into China.

by Anonymousreply 1206/29/2013

Has anyone thought of turning the back yard into a big vegetable garden? Isn't that a good idea?

by Anonymousreply 1306/29/2013

It has not technically eliminated unemployment benefits, they are simply cut to five months with no extension, but this is concerning I agree. Without unemployment benefits, the jobless will have to rely on food stamps or charity

[9] Actually church soup kitchens and food banks will be the main source of food and provisions for many if their benefits have run out

by Anonymousreply 1406/29/2013

Historically, the Carolinas were a huge anti-government, thieving pirate hangout.

by Anonymousreply 1506/29/2013

[all posts by tedious troll removed.]

by Anonymousreply 1606/29/2013

I wonder how many of the people who will now suffer, vote Republican, and will instinctively blame Obama/Dems.

by Anonymousreply 1806/29/2013

I don't believe you for even a second, R19.

by Anonymousreply 2006/29/2013

Withe the South's reaction to gay marriage, abortion, civil rights legislation and unemployment/welfare, maybe they would be better off in their own countr(ies). They don't seem to think the Civil War/Alamo are far in the past.

by Anonymousreply 2106/29/2013

Many employers will NOT hire you if you're over-qualified, r22.

You are an armchair know-it-all and I am skeptical you even lost a $75K job.

by Anonymousreply 2306/29/2013

R22, the reason is that once you take a job that is "beneath them", there is no going back. I you have a job as a graphic designer and you are unemployed for 15 months you have a chance of being employed as a graphic designer again. If you take a job at Costco, you will never be hired as a graphic designer again. The advice is to do volunteer work doing your unemployment, particularly if you can do volunteer work that uses your work skills, e.g., do graphic design for a non-profit as a volunteer.

by Anonymousreply 2506/29/2013

Actually r27, omitting recent work from a job application is grounds for dismissal and lying during a interview is a very serious thing. Given how much information employers have access to, I bet they have a record of your work history before you even show up for the interview.

by Anonymousreply 2806/29/2013

Doesn't faze you ... Oh well, OK.

I'll go get turned down for several jobs with my Ph. D. and maybe, just maybe you'll like me better?

Pfft!

by Anonymousreply 2906/29/2013

R22 did you ever think that with people like you looking for work, other people who might be a little "less attractive" might have a harder time finding work?

Ever for a minute consider this?

by Anonymousreply 3106/29/2013

[quote][R22], the reason is that once you take a job that is "beneath them", there is no going back. I you have a job as a graphic designer and you are unemployed for 15 months you have a chance of being employed as a graphic designer again. If you take a job at Costco, you will never be hired as a graphic designer again. The advice is to do volunteer work doing your unemployment, particularly if you can do volunteer work that uses your work skills, e.g., do graphic design for a non-profit as a volunteer.

That is so untrue.

One of my roles in my previous job involved hiring new employees. Imagine this scenario:

Me: "I thought you were a graphics designer. What were you doing working at Costco, of all places??"

You: "Well, I was laid off from my previous job as a graphics designer so, rather than go on unemployment, I took a job at Costco while I looked for work more in line with my training."

Me: "Did you enjoy Sam's Club?"

You: "Actually, I did. I learned a LOT about retail and what's involved in great customer service. I have a new respect for people who work retail and I have a better eye for creating interesting displays that attract customers. I think that has ultimately made me a better graphics designer."

Someone with a good attitude like certainly makes an attractive job candidate, much more attractive than someone who says something like: "Well, I lost my job and went on unemployment. I didn't study graphics design just to work with high school drop-outs at Costco, you know!!"

Of course, some of you addicted to self-pity will complain that a person branded with the likes of Costco would never even get an interview. Such folks are just beyond help.

by Anonymousreply 3206/29/2013

"R25."

It's that weird troll who puts periods after the intended recipient. He's been assaulting people with Republican invective for weeks now.

by Anonymousreply 3306/29/2013

[r22] I constantly apply for jobs that are beneath me. The truth of the matter is that there are many, many applicants and not enough jobs. I have been unemployed for ten months.

by Anonymousreply 3406/29/2013

In 2016 we'll all be thanking NC for this.

by Anonymousreply 3506/29/2013

It figures, R33. Totally figures.

by Anonymousreply 3606/29/2013

Republicans are very good at "If I never experienced it, then it could not have possibly happened to you."

Very strange in that way. Sociopathic, even.

by Anonymousreply 3706/29/2013

R32, I am glad that you are so open; however, you are the exception to the rule. As admirable as your attitude is, to suggest that it is representative of the rest of the country is just offering false hope.

by Anonymousreply 3806/29/2013

[quote]Republicans are very good at "If I never experienced it, then it could not have possibly happened to you."

No, it's worse - they HAVE experienced it, but they're in denial about it.

This sums them up to a "T" (pun intended):

by Anonymousreply 4006/29/2013

Care to refute it, R39?

by Anonymousreply 4106/29/2013

I just realized I switched between Costco and Sam's Club in R32. LOL!

Well, you still get the idea.

Also, I have no background in graphics design, so excuse me if I screwed up the details of the job.

by Anonymousreply 4206/29/2013

Agree that a lot of people - especially in the South - would rather collect unemployment than work. Or they'll try to claim workman's comp or SSI.

The "good old boys" are content to sit around on their asses collecting benefits and bitching about "the gubmint" vs taking any job and trying to work their way up or start their own business.

They'll try to blame the Dems and Obama. Just you watch. Meanwhile, their "representatives" will still continue to haul in hundreds of thousands of dollars on speaking engagements and bloated salaries.

by Anonymousreply 4306/29/2013

R34 stated the one true thing.

Drop the superior attitudes, you Republican shitwipes. There are no jobs here: part-time or otherwise, "beneath" me or otherwise.

The economy here is dead and the tea-party asshats in power now want to burn us all down.

by Anonymousreply 4406/29/2013

My dream of working in the Research Triangle Park have turned to ash.

by Anonymousreply 4506/29/2013

R39 is definitely a narcissist. Only his experiences matter, and they will form the adamantine template for others' experiences.

by Anonymousreply 4806/29/2013

R47 is actually the pitiful one, adding nothing except an insult. Brilliant.

by Anonymousreply 4906/29/2013

[quote]JHC, can't the 6-letter word in the White House DO something?!

Yes, r10 he can and did! The law was enacted to send more money to the long-term jobless, while putting in a deterrent mechanism to punish states who punish the unemployed. Other than hand-delivering a supermarket gift card, wtf else do you want the guy to do?

If citizens in NC don't like the way their state spends their tax dollars, they should move. Act with your feet and your wallet! No whining!

Oh, and the race-baiting is a warm touch!

by Anonymousreply 5006/29/2013

R10 was just so clever, wasn't he?

by Anonymousreply 5106/29/2013

*You* read up on it, R46.

You clearly don't have a clue.

Regardless of what you and your "friends" have experienced, this is a big country.

Some of us are able to realize that our experiences are not the only experiences, and we appreciate the others might have had *different* experiences.

BTW--being offered a job and taking a job are two different in things. How in the world would you know who has tried to get and job and who hasn't?

by Anonymousreply 5206/29/2013

[quote] and I have a better eye for creating interesting displays that attract customers

LOL!

This NEVER HAPPENED, R22!

There are no "interesting displays that attract customers" at COSTCO. They pile shit onto a table or a long row of shelves.

by Anonymousreply 5306/29/2013

Can we stop with this nonsense and just admit that the south will never rise (in IQ) again?

At least, not until they rid themselves of the Republican party.

by Anonymousreply 5506/29/2013

They will buy one-way bus tickets to states that have more liberal welfare/unemployment benefits. It's what they did from the 1930s-1960s. On your last day of unemployment insurance, they'll hand you the ticket.

by Anonymousreply 5606/29/2013

The news about NC cutting benefits/being dropped from federal unemployment program is frightening to me. I feel like I am in a bad episode of "Twilight Zone" when I read those articles.

I just read an article last week that said 75% of American's are living paycheck to paycheck. (And there's supposedly an old adage that most people are '10 paychecks away from homelessness" which is probably an overgeneralized statement but still, most of us are not trust fund kids.

I am single income (no partner). The company that I worked for since 1990 went under in 2011 and I was out of work for 10 months. I was a fool and did not have the recommended '6 months of savings' socked away and unemployment saved me. Yes, I ate a lot of peanut butter sandwiches and had regular decisions between having quarters for laundry or for groceries. Humbling and scary.

For the 10 months I was unemployed, I temped for about 4 of those months and relied on unemployment for 6 months. I was so grateful to have those checks and will never turn up my nose again at anyone living on any kind of assistance. It's scary as hell and soul crushing. Over time, you start to feel like a different species.

Thank God I found a permanent position last year with a stable company. Yes, I'm making a third less and working twice as hard but I know my rent is covered every month and will never take that feeling for granted ever again. I have a former co-worker in her early 60's from my previous company who like the rest of us lost her job in 2011. She is genuinely talented/skilled/great people skills, etc. and she has been on multiple 2nd interviews and can't get hired. She says they love her on phone interviews but as soon as she goes in for an in-person interview she can tell on their faces that they didn't realize her age. She has burned thru her state and federal unemployment and is barreling through her 401K. She can't afford to retire but may have to if no one will hire her.

Sorry for the rambling post, but this NC news is so troubling to me. Yes, there are people who could be working who aren't. But there are many people out there that can't seem to find work and they are in dangerous waters.

by Anonymousreply 5706/29/2013

R32 is right on point. When the great recession hit I lost two jobs as a graphic designer ... a full time gig for meanswear catalog and part time freelance work for a NBA team. I still balanced multiple jobs to pay off student loan debt.

Within weeks I jumped into a customer service rep job that was recesiofnefhad good healthcare. The pay was modest. I took up my old college weekend job at modest pay. And seasonally I did freelance work for smaller businesses. My CSR job turned into an office manager position and I pounced on opportunities to use my design skills (new tablets were added to company and I helped design the new ui).

I gained a wealth of knowledge on the experiences of end use and changed career trajectory to UX design. My experience as a boot strapper in "lesser positions" is immensley valuable in interviews as opposed to large gaps in employment. I did genuinely learn things at all those positions.

My concern is that there realistically isn't enough "lesser jobs" for everyone who needs to work two jobs to add up to a living wage even if they chose too. The greater problem is cost of living relative to wages and the destruction that supply side economics has left

by Anonymousreply 5806/29/2013

Hidden in all this is that it is a decision that benefits corporations. Unemployment Insurance is deducted from each paycheck. It varies from state to state the amount that is deducted - based upon an earnings cap. For example, in New Jersey they only withhold on the first $30,900 at a rate of 3.2825% so the maximum anyone pays in during the year is $1,014. The employer portion varies based upon their "experience rating", meaning the more times you have had employees file claims the higher the rating. A new employer starts out with a rate the same as the employee rate. So, in one year $2,028 is paid into state unemployment for one worker.

Assuming that an individual qualifies for $300 per week in benefits, in just under 7 weeks they have collected an amount equal to what was contributed by both themselves and the employer. Thus, the need for Federal Unemployment Tax.

Federal Unemployment tax (FUTA) is paid solely by the employer. Usually, it is at the rate of .008 of the first $7,000 in wages per employee. A max of $56 per employee.

In part these are the monies that the Federal gov't uses to send to the states to fund unemployment claims when the amount paid into the state plans has been depleted. In states with a high unemployment rate the Federal gov't will send money in excess of what the collective employers have paid into FUTA. The states are supposed to repay these amounts to the Feds.

In some cases, NJ and apparently NC they did not repay these amounts. In those cases, the Feds tack on a surcharge to the annual FUTA and each employer helps pay the shortfall.

That's what is mentioned here:

[quote]North Carolina companies now pay an additional $42 per employee yearly to pay the debt. Without the changes, businesses’ unemployment insurance taxes would rise by $21 per employee every year until the federal debt is paid[quote]

By eliminating the extended benefits, paid from Federal funds the states eliminate additional debt and save the corporations (or any employer) money.

by Anonymousreply 5906/29/2013

Here's the thing about telling people to get two jobs: companies make such crazy work schedules that an employee doesn't know when they will be working even next week.

Walmart, Target, other employers will give an employee a schedule where they work 16 hours one week and 30 hours the following week. They don't get hours like "Monday, Wednesday and Friday 9am to 1 pm" like in the old days. Now they get Monday on the day shift for 3 hours to cover breaks, Tuesday off, Wednesday work from 2pm to 8pm. Thursday from 1 pm to 5 pm and next week we need you to do stock when the store is closed. So come in at 8 pm, and work until 2 am.

How can an employee hold a second job when employers fuck with their schedules like that? It happens all the time. I have actually heard managers telling employees what hours to come in tomorrow. "We need to switch you to 5 pm til 11pm. So don't come in at 2pm."

Of course, that's the point. To keep people from being able to have a second job, so that they'll be happy to work any schedule and beg for more hours from their one and only job.

by Anonymousreply 6006/29/2013

The GOP are sociopaths, heartless, evil and worthless. If they weren't such awful cheating frauds, the people would have a chance of voting them the hell out forever, but they've fucked that up too. Like others have said, what they're doing now is going to cause a hell of a lot of problems and more crime and desperation, but maybe that's what they want, more of the "undesirables" in jail. The GOP are the real thugs though.

by Anonymousreply 6106/29/2013

[quote]Be prepared for increasingly more desperate people to do increasingly more desperate things.

Like moving to where the jobs are?

by Anonymousreply 6206/29/2013

r19

[quote]consider themselves too good to take a job that they are "too good for"

Do you work for the Department of Redundancy Department?

by Anonymousreply 6306/29/2013

[quote]Crime is going to go through the roof.

Perfect for Republians - it will help fill their for-profit prisons and create a need for more.

When will the breaking point be? When will there be a rebellion?

by Anonymousreply 6406/29/2013

I live in NC and I can only sit back and laugh at these poor fools who vote against their own economic interest. As they get poorer they also seem to get dumber.

by Anonymousreply 6606/29/2013

R19 sounds like a cunt, a dumb one

by Anonymousreply 6806/29/2013

[quote]You are a sniveling baby. And one of the gay men who cannot conceive of living apart from his mommie.

Didn't he say his mother had Alzheimer's? Good for him for looking after her. Don't kid yourself: hospital and nursing home patients without advocates looking out for their best interests receive inferior care.

I thought the conservatives were the Family Values party. How does forcing families to break up over money issues gibe with that?

by Anonymousreply 6906/29/2013

[25] Surely you could do a part time job as well as volunteering, or work weekends or evenings if needed to fund you?

by Anonymousreply 7006/29/2013

R69 you have piped up with your refrain before on Datalounge:

"hospital and nursing home patients without advocates looking out for their best interests receive inferior care."

You are thoroughly convinced of this and push it onto everyone repeatedly.

It is not true across the board at all. You can repeatedly push it, but each case is individual, and all patients or not even most receive "inferior" care with constant visitors or weekly visitors. It greatly depends upon the hospital or the individual nursing home.

by Anonymousreply 7106/29/2013

meant to type:

all patients or not even most patients receive "inferior" care WITHOUT constant visitors or weekly visitors

by Anonymousreply 7206/29/2013

R67 That's a question that you should ask the members of the NC Legislature and the US Congress. They sit on their behinds and collect checks for doing absolutely nothing. They are employed to serve their constituents. Taking food out of your constituents mouths is not service. NC has the 5th highest employment in the country. That means that many of the republicans that voted the crowd in Raleigh in office are poor and unemployed. They put them in office to serve and help them. They are getting railroaded but they deserve it.

by Anonymousreply 7306/29/2013

correction: That should read NC has the 5th highest unemployment. I'm sorry for the typo.

by Anonymousreply 7406/29/2013

What this means is that in a few years NC will have a 100% employment rate because all the jobless will move out.

by Anonymousreply 7506/29/2013

Nonsense. It means North Carolina will have a high starvation rate, but the unemployed will only increase because less income equals less economic activity and a reduction to the velocity and circulation of money within the state.

by Anonymousreply 7606/29/2013

Nonsense. People don't just sit there and starve. It means a mass exodus towards the borders, putting the strain on neighboring states as the pool of workers in the state dehydrates into the muggy air and driving streams of talented workers towards remote destinations.

by Anonymousreply 7706/29/2013

You're the idiot R77. People who can't afford to eat can't afford to go anywhere.

People are already starving to death in North Carolina.

by Anonymousreply 7806/29/2013

17.1% of North Carolina lives in food insecure households, far above the national average.

by Anonymousreply 8006/29/2013

It's a fact that people starve, and that most of the people starving are not "moving" looking for work but staying put at home R79. All you have proved is that you understand nothing of how actual humans behave.

by Anonymousreply 8106/29/2013

Correct me if I am wrong, but didn't NC flip back to Republican for the 2012 election?

How is that working out for you, NC?

by Anonymousreply 8306/29/2013

North Carolina even elected U.S. Senator John Edwards so they do have democratic inclinations sometimes.

I love John Edwards, so please no uncalled for bashing.

by Anonymousreply 8406/29/2013

No bashing here R84. While Edwards did some horrid things in his personal life (his and his family's business, not mine) I would still vote for him today. Why? Because unlike our last (Clinton) and current POTUS Edwards cares about the poor. That is # 1 for me in a candidate.

by Anonymousreply 8506/29/2013

Just to set the record straight for R65. I moved to NC to take care of my mother after years of living on the west coast. (I don't live with my mother, by the way, I take care of her 2.5 days a week. Other siblings handle the others.)

She asked to die at home and why should her children deny her that privilege? She has now been 3 years bed-bound and just now seems to be entering the final stage of Alzheimer's.

I am unemployed because there are no part-time jobs where I live. That is plain and simple. I stay busy and am a financial burden on no one, including the fucking state government.

But I hope one day, R65, you develop a sense of compassion for others. Your life would improve immensely.

by Anonymousreply 8606/29/2013

R85 you think Edwards cares about the fucking poor? You have clearly never met the cunt. You cannot imagine how fucking evil he is and how he has tried to capitalize on the death of his son. If you hold this fucker in high regard, your moral compass is truly fucked.

by Anonymousreply 8706/29/2013

Running deep on this thread mobility scooter are.

by Anonymousreply 8906/29/2013

A friend who lost his job asked me to help him start a food truck.

I looked at the state and local regulations and told him it would cost 20k to meet all the requirements.

I loaned him 5k (and he repaid me) and now he works as a black market food cart.

If they catch him (even though his food van pristine) he could end up with 50k in fines.

And this is the most "liberal" (gag) city in North Carolina.

by Anonymousreply 9006/29/2013

Thank you, r86, for doing the decent thing and taking care of your mother.

I completely sympathize with you and your situation. Thankfully, my mom does not have dementia or Alzhiemers but she is very frail. My brother lives with her and I visit her at least once a week to do household chores that my brother can't get to.

I took a part time job working nights so I could be home while my brother worked in case mom needed someone.

Situations like this are going to get worse as more and more people can no longer afford to work or to put their aging parents/relatives in nursing homes. It really scares me.

by Anonymousreply 9106/29/2013

R86 and R91, you are both obviously being financially supported by your mothers since one of you is unemployed and one of you works just part-time at night.

R91 only visits his mother one time per week and places himself 'on-call' the rest of the time in case needed. So obviously, R91 cannot work full-time according to his mindset.

And R86 does not work at all, but takes care of his mother just 2.5 days per week.

Grown men who have the excuses of not working full-time and being financially dependent upon their mother.

by Anonymousreply 9206/29/2013

R71-72-84-92

You seem to have an issue that Freud would love to study---if he wasn't dead.

20 years ago I left a good job to help care for my grandmother. I hated that job, but I found a job in my hometown where I could live with her (in a separate house on her property) that made the pay differential negligible.

I did it out of love, respect, and desire for this wonderful woman to live out her last days in her own home. She had been wonderful to me, and I was glad to give back.

It strengthened my family ties, gave me great joy and let me save enough money to start a successful business.

R92- You sound like a sick motherfucker, and I'm sorry your parents and grandparents were so awful. My ex was like that, and it destroyed him, and our relationship. He could never get over how wonderful my mom, dad, aunt and grandmother were to me, and how awful his mom, dad and family were to him.

I feel so sorry for him it makes me cry, and I haven't cried over him in a long time.

I tell my parents (my grandma is gone, God love her) every time we talk how much I love them, and how grateful I am for their love.

After re-reading this post, R92, I really feel sorry for you, and pity how pathetic and empty your life must be.

by Anonymousreply 9306/29/2013

Re-reading, via Troll-Dar, the postings of R92 --- well, it makes me cry.

I can't imagine being that emotionally broken or mentally sick. It makes me so thankful for my family.

I'm so glad I didn't have to choose between family and money- I relied on the love, trust and support of family to make money, and now I can support my nieces, nephew, and cousins as they become adults, and help my aunt and parents as they age. They bet on me, and now I'm going to pay them back---BIGTIME.

by Anonymousreply 9406/29/2013

No, R95-

I re-read your posts, and I feel sorry for you. No one who had a loving and supportive family life could ever feel the way you do.

Please seek help.

by Anonymousreply 9606/30/2013

R95-

[bold]You wrote-[/bold]

And R17, not living close to family is done by millions upon millions who live anywhere from a state away from family to many states away to across the country.

You are a sniveling baby. And one of the gay men who cannot conceive of living apart from his mommie. -------

You are thoroughly convinced of this and push it onto everyone repeatedly.

It is not true across the board at all. You can repeatedly push it, but each case is individual, and all patients or not even most receive "inferior" care with constant visitors or weekly visitors. It greatly depends upon the hospital or the individual nursing home. --------

[[R86]] and [[[R91]]], you are both obviously being financially supported by your mothers since one of you is unemployed and one of you works just part-time at night.

R91 only visits his mother one time per week and places himself 'on-call' the rest of the time in case needed. So obviously, R91 cannot work full-time according to his mindset.

And R86 does not work at all, but takes care of his mother just 2.5 days per week.

Grown men who have the excuses of not working full-time and being financially dependent upon their mother.

------

[bold]can you not see the disdain you display for anyone who puts love of family above whatever pathetic god you worship?

I'm so glad I have a wonderful and loving family, that accept me as a gay man, and appreciate and celebrate my success.

I feel so sorry for you. [/bold]

by Anonymousreply 9806/30/2013

Gay men who cannot live apart from their mommie ARE pathetic.

by Anonymousreply 10006/30/2013

Hope someone breaks into the governor's home and takes some good loot.

by Anonymousreply 10106/30/2013

R92-

Where did you get that the poster "couldn't live without mommy?"

I'm curious. I gave up a career (that I hated) to come help my mom's mom live "independently" for (good God, nearly 6 years) but found a new job that I loved, had my own house, and got rewarded far beyond money. I was able to help this sweet, loving, caring, nourishing, supportive, amazing woman live the last few years of her life "independently" before she moved in with my parents, who spent 2 years taking care of her. I was able to work part time while developing my business and not worry about rent or electricity if things were slow. I benefited from her love and support, and she benefited from my culinary skills and kindness. I had a few boyfriends over, and she was always kind to them.

Your venom is strange.

by Anonymousreply 10206/30/2013

R92 and R100 are examples of mental retardation. I do not mean learning disability or Down's Syndrome. Such people are not so slow on the uptake. Mental retardation means people whose worldview is a bunch of lies they learned when they were 10 years old that they can't seem to overcome in decades of experience. People are doing their best now, and there are no jobs, not because they are lazy or unqualified, but because rich people have taken all the money that would otherwise be spent by middle class people, creating jobs. People who don't understand that, have less economic knowledge than porn star Colby Keller. Yes, that's right, someone whose dick is his moneymaker is smarter than you, the $130,000 a year banker, or R92 or R100. You are mentally retarded in the fullest sense of the term.

by Anonymousreply 10306/30/2013

wow!

by Anonymousreply 10506/30/2013

[quote] Has anyone thought of turning the back yard into a big vegetable garden? Isn't that a good idea?

Sure, if you have a fence to keep the rabbits, raccoons, opossum and deer out. And groundhogs just burrow under the fences. Squirrels climb over the fences to get in.

And you'll need pesticides to keep the slugs, Japanese beetles, grubs, earwigs and cutworms at bay. You'll have to weed every day in the hot sun or else use herbicides. A wet summer will bring downy mildew, root rot, plant viruses and blight. There are bugs and diseases you've never heard of until you start growing crops that attract insects or until a stretch of weather does in your crop.

An irrigation system is a good idea for when there is drought and hot weather. You'll need to amend your soil, too. If you don't have cows or horses, you'll have to buy manure or use store bought things like peat, topsoil, fertilizer.

You'll have to buy plant plugs from somewhere, unless you grow your own from seed. You'll need grow lights, or else your seed-grown plant might be weak or leggy.

by Anonymousreply 10706/30/2013

R91 here, actually, r95, I work FULL TIME at night. I keep the phone next to me when I go to bed in case mom needs me while my brother is at work. If she calls, I get up. Where did you get the idea I was working part time?

My mom doesn't support me. As a matter of fact, both my brother and I pay for her groceries and toiletries. Does this mean I can't party all weekend or have designer clothes? Yes. But that doesn't matter to me. What matters to me is that I'm there for my mom and my brother because they're my family and they have always been there for me.

More and more people are going to be forced to make hard choices as their parents and siblings age. Employers, if they want to keep people, are going to have to either start dealing with this reality or lose people.

But most employers will just keep hiring illegals with one side of their mouths then scream about how illegals are taking over the country with the other side of their mouths.

by Anonymousreply 10806/30/2013

The 2010 midterms laid waste to NC, which had previously been, along with Virginia, one of the only moderate southern states. When the GOP took control of the state House in 2010, it was the first time they'd held a majority in 100 years.

NC will continue to be competitive in future presidential elections (with more campaigning Obama could have held the state in 2012), but thanks to gerrymandering, it's now a GOP wasteland for at least a generation.

by Anonymousreply 10906/30/2013

R108, you stated at R91 that you work PART-TIME at night.

by Anonymousreply 11106/30/2013

[quote]Sure, if you have a fence to keep the rabbits, raccoons, opossum and deer out.

You forgot to mention all the hungry unemployed neighbors.

by Anonymousreply 11206/30/2013

You get what you voted for.

by Anonymousreply 11306/30/2013

R110/111-

When you become old and feeble, and no one takes care of you I hope you remember this thread.

What a sad, pathetic life you lead.

by Anonymousreply 11406/30/2013

Not everyone has a gay son who can drop everything, move to where their mother lives, give up their career, job, financial independence, career responsibilities, and income completely or find a new job where Mom lives, and/or live off of Mom's finances indefinitely.

And plenty of older people do not have a child or children who can take of them in their older years. It's an anomaly for a child to be able to move to where Mom lives after dropping their job, career, and income.

by Anonymousreply 11506/30/2013

R114 who is also R93, R94, R96, R98, and R102, you are emotionally disturbed and mentally unbalanced.

But,of course, you do not know that you are.

You have no idea what the norm is for older persons in their declining years, and you definitely have a skewed idea of how many adult children can afford or arrange to drop everything and live just to be devoted to mommie. It just is not feasible for the vast majority of adult children who need an income, have their own children to raise, and have a house in another city.

by Anonymousreply 11606/30/2013

R116 will die old, feeble and alone screaming at the world.

Just because you can't be bothered to help your family doesn't mean the rest of us are so callous and arrogant.

My "part time" job IS "part time". I only work about 6-8 months out of the year sporadically. When I DO work, it's night shift for 8 hours a night. I never know when I'm going to be called or let go. Are you satisfied, cunt?

I took the job because it gives me time off to help my mother while keeping just enough cash in my bank account to maintain my home.

No, I don't have any "extras" that you've probably sold your pathecit soul for. And I certainly hope that your designer comforter keeps you warm in that nursing home when it's your turn. There won't be one fucking person who will come visit a rancid cunt like YOU.

by Anonymousreply 11706/30/2013

R117, I repeat the following because you are not getting it.

Not everyone has a gay son who can drop everything, move to where their mother lives, give up their career, job, financial independence, career responsibilities, and income completely or be lucky enough to find a new job where Mom lives, and/or live off of Mom's finances indefinitely.

And plenty of older people do not have a child or children who can take of them in their older years. It's an anomaly for a child to be able to move to where Mom lives after dropping their job, career, and income.

You have no idea what the norm is for older persons in their declining years, and you definitely have a skewed idea of how many adult children can afford or arrange to drop everything to be available to take care of a parent in a different city.

It just is not feasible for the vast majority of adult children who need an income, may have their own children to raise, have financial responsibilities, and may have a house in another city.

What is it about the above that you do not understand?

You seem to not understand any of it.

by Anonymousreply 11806/30/2013

What I'm "not getting" is why you call me a liar and scream at anyone who can and DOES choose to take care of their aging parents.

Now deny you called me a liar, cunt. Go ahead. Deny it.

And deny you brow beat anyone who has chosen to help their family members when you've decided you'd rather not.

You go right ahead and tell yourself that we're all liars and idiots because we've chosen to help our families vs grubbing for money.

by Anonymousreply 11906/30/2013

R119, you visit your mother ONE day per week.

That apparently gives you the excuse to coast along )working just 6 months (occasionally 8 months) out of the year.

Your brother who lives with your mother is the adult child who is doing the work. He lives with your mother full-time to look after her and apparently also works at a job full-time.

You, on the other hand, visit your mother ONE DAY per week and don't even work 6 months out of the year.

You and your brother probably never left your home town, so you both were right there in your home town which makes you available to keep tabs on your mother. (or this may not be your case)

Millions upon millions of adult children live in different cities from their parents - several states away or across the country.

I don't know how old you are. If you are close to retirement age, fine. But otherwise, you're using your ONE DAY visit per week as an excuse to coast along not acting as a full-fledged adult.

That is my opinion of you, but I could be wrong. Datalounge is for voicing opinions.

You try to appear so very self-sacrificing, but you actually are milking the situation to do not much of anything. Your brother is doing the care of your mother and also working full-time.

by Anonymousreply 12006/30/2013

The post at R116 might be the saddest thing ever posted on Datalounge.

Yes, I know I'm fortunate that A)I was barely out of my teens when my grandpa died, B)I was in a position to help my amazing granny, C) that she had an estate where I could live and D) that her dementia was limited and she was able to take care of any personal needs.

R116-

You are a sick fucking puppy. I don't normally bear ill will towards anyone (my life has been blessed too much) but I really, REALLY hope you die alone, covered in your own feces, and your cats eat so much of your face they have to use dental records to identify your body.

by Anonymousreply 12106/30/2013

R121, you have just succinctly and very clearly proved that you are, indeed, as was stated, emotionally disturbed and mentally unbalanced.

And that you have no understanding of the circumstances of other families, adult children, financial differences, and logistics of living in different states with circumstances different from your own very unusual, blessed circumstances.

by Anonymousreply 12206/30/2013

Actually, cuntessa r120, I visit her once or twice a week when I'm WORKING. Get it? When I work, I can only make it up to see her once or twice a week. Now let that sink in. Or do you just not get it?

When I'm not working, I'm doing major repairs to her house that my brother doesn't have the time for and mom can't afford to hire anyone to do. So I do those things when I'm not employed.

But of course, you can't grasp making a sacrifice for your family. I could work full time and make tons of money and for what? To put my mom in a nursing home? Why? Just because YOU choose to be a fucking asshole and won't do anything for YOUR family?

I chose to quit my fat well-paying job so I could be with her and help her at the end of her life. I took a part time (part of the year) job to help her. And, just to be clear, I DO NOT collect unemployment NOR do I live off of her when I'm not working. I save my money when I'm working to live on when I'm not. That's probably something YOU have never thought of in your meth fueled party life. I mean, what "full-fledged adult" would ever consider saving money for a rainy day?

So tell me again how I'm just "coasting along" and "not living like a full-fledged adult". Does being in debt up to your eyes make you an adult? Well, congratulations, sucker.

A full-fledged adult is one who takes responsibility for those who can't care for themselves. That makes you a grade A fucking shitstain.

You can't even bother to visit your family and yet you want to sit there and pass judgement on ME? Fuck you, cunt.

Now go back to your rent boys and your meth.

by Anonymousreply 12307/01/2013

R123-

Give it up. If you "trolldar" R122 you will see that she also posted-

R120

R118

R116

R115

R111

R110

R100

R99

R97

R95

R92

R84

R71

R72

AND R65

you will see that all the emotionally unhinged and "you are a mama's boy" posts all come from one poster.

I am thankful that I was able to help my maternal grandma for a few years, and respect my paternal aunt for the sacrifice she made to take care of my paternal grandma.

My dad lost his father at 7 years old (in a poor part of the south, 60 years ago) and my Aunt (10 years older than dad) took care of him and supported the family. She helped raise my dad.

By the late 70s his mom had started "losing her sense" , while she was in her 50s. I remember walking to her house after school (8th grade, age 12, early 80s) and being asked my name. Granny suffered from Alzheimer's (really, REALLY bad) for over 30 years, but my aunt sacrificed her life after her husband died to allow her to live in her own home. It was a "beautiful burden" and I will always do everything I can to help her.

I own the house she lives in, bought her a car, pay her electricity and water bill (I leave it up to her grandsons to pay the cable bill!) and do whatever I can while I'm in town to help her. She sacrificed much of her life to take care of my grandmother, and she deserves every penny that her family gives her.

How someone can assert that such actions make you a "momma's boy" is sick.

I'm guessing that R123 was abandoned on the front porch of a crack den and therefore hates it when people have family that will sacrifice their own short-term needs for the long-term needs of their family. Such a sad and pathetic life.

by Anonymousreply 12407/01/2013

maybe...

by Anonymousreply 12507/01/2013

North Carolina's Aunt Bunny has finally released statement on the new legislation:

by Anonymousreply 12607/01/2013

Now I get why so many gay men care for their mothers instead of opting for putting them n a home.

You bitches are far more crafty than I thought!

by Anonymousreply 12707/01/2013

You don't give personal elder care to your aunt, R124, so it has nothing to do with being able to move to the location wherever one's elderly relative is, and being able to give up your career and income to do so or being lucky enough to find a job wherever the elderly relative happens to live.

So your sacrifice is zero, and also your aunt living alone has nothing to do with the topic.

And the whole gay men who are mommie's boys has nothing to do with being able to drop everything, move to where the elderly relative is, give up one's career and income or being lucky enough to find a job wherever the elderly relative is.

The prevalent momma's boy syndrome is a separate issue.

by Anonymousreply 12807/01/2013

Dear God, I wish I hadn't clicked on R127's link. Should've known better (and I say that as someone whose own family member works at that shit network:

A couple of the "Recommended Videos":t

[quote]Boy shares stories from his journey to heaven

[quote]'Creep-ass cracker' and rehabbing Trayvon witness

by Anonymousreply 12907/01/2013

The gay men who are momma's boys refers to gay men who can never bring themselves to live apart from their mother and who are still living with their mother at ages 30, 40, 50, 60.

And/or the gay men who can never bring themselves to move away from the town in which their mother resides in order to pursue job opportunities or a career.

by Anonymousreply 13007/01/2013

R129, the story at R127's link has absolutely nothing to do with Fox News. The story about the women stealing from her mother is from a New York Post article.

by Anonymousreply 13107/01/2013
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