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Embarrassing stories...

Please share them here! I'm in the mood to laugh

by Anonymousreply 1407/01/2013

Everyone's been too serious lately

by Anonymousreply 106/25/2013

You first OP

by Anonymousreply 206/25/2013

I had a date with someone I hadn't seen in a really long time; suffice to say, I was incredibly nervous...and for whatever reason, we decided to eat Mexican. Bad call on my part, cause halfway through an awkward conversation...my stomach bloated, and I accidentally let out a wet fart! And decided to quickly cover up, by asking about the weather; too which, I know it made everything worse, because I KNOW he heard...

by Anonymousreply 306/25/2013

When you're over 40 it's not always "just a fart."

by Anonymousreply 406/25/2013

When I was 12, I got stuck in a hideaway bed (inside a couch). I had the stupid idea to have my 5yo sibling fold me up in the couch and put me in, but a 5yo is not strong enough to lift out a 12yo fully out from a couch (only partway). So I laid there at an awkward angle in limbo, certain that the couch was going to crash in on top of me. Thankfully, we had a graveyard shift neighbor, and I was able to call out the numbers, one by one. The phone rang and rang until he woke to answer to my sibling's panic, and came over groggily to get me out of the couch and then laughed and laughed at me.

The other embarrassing story has to do with a slippery fruit stuck in an orifice for half a day. I'm sure noone wants to hear about that.

by Anonymousreply 506/25/2013

Yes, we do, R5.

by Anonymousreply 606/25/2013

How about I tell one about my mom? She's always been ungraceful (I take after her, of course) and would trip over a spec of dust.

This wouldn't be so bad except she would always try to catch herself instead of just falling.

One day we were at the mall walking and she starts falling and reaches out to grab something and stop herself. Well, what she grabbed was some poor man's pants.

Yep. You can picture the scene - some man standing there, clutching at his pants that were halfway down his legs with my mom hanging on them laying in the floor in the middle of the mall.

I walked away like I didn't even know her.

by Anonymousreply 706/25/2013

My neighbor, when I was 18, told me about using ice and fruit inserted for sexplay (I think she used a banana). So my bf at the time and I decided to try it. We used a grape. It was supposed to sit at the entrance and he was supposed to eat it out, but it slurped right in. We couldn't get it out!

He reached in and it just pushed it farther back because it was too slippery and rounded to grab hold of! We tried flatware in there, to no avail. The next day I spent 30 minutes in the shower with the massager head blasting inside myself until I was able to birth out a very dead grape.

That was my last time using fruit sexually. Veggies, however...

by Anonymousreply 806/25/2013

OMG R7 one time I was at a play with my mom and she tripped and fell 3 times going up the stairs I was like "what the hell is wrong with you lady?" and yes pretended not to know her...

by Anonymousreply 906/25/2013

You could practically wrote a whole book on what happened to me, Mrs Burnside.

by Anonymousreply 1006/25/2013

[R5] I was trapped in a sofabed... when I was 19. I sat on the arm of the sofa to make a phone call. I decided to slide back onto the mattress to get comfortable. I didn't realize that putting weight on just the upper part of the sofa bed would cause it to fold shut. I had the phone in my hand but was too embarrassed to call for help. I struggled for several minutes and was able to climb out... but that's not my embarrassing story.

I was in a conference room. It was warm so I opened a window even though it was snowing outside.

A woman came into the room and said "Are you Paul?". I misheard her and thought she said "Are you cold?" So I replied, "no but if you are I'll close the window".

She repeated her question and when I heard it correctly, I began laughing hysterically and could only shake my head "no". The poor woman had no idea why I just broke down laughing. Fortunately for me, Paul walked in the room when he heard me laughing and I just pointed at him and left the room.

by Anonymousreply 1106/30/2013

R11, that's not really "embarrassing," though. And really not even that funny. I would have just said "I'm sorry. I thought you said "Are you COLD" and we both would have smiled. End of story.

by Anonymousreply 1206/30/2013

Oh, do tell, r10. It's bound to be original...

by Anonymousreply 1306/30/2013

LOL @ R10. As soon as I saw the topic, I thought of Gloria Upson.

by Anonymousreply 1407/01/2013
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