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Anyone been stalked by a psycho ex ?

When they just can't except it's over

by Dan Gallagherreply 8906/16/2013

No I have been stalked by nosey parkers who paid a homeless guy to look me up though.

by Dan Gallagherreply 106/14/2013

Yes, and it sucks.

by Dan Gallagherreply 206/14/2013

oh dear...

by Dan Gallagherreply 306/14/2013


I was in college. He had gone there but dropped it. I never did anything with him, but he thought of me as his ex because I had dinner with him twice and kissed him a few times.

He'd call. He called my parents. He'd sit outside my house in his car all night. I'd catch him following me. He sent letters. He called classmates for information. And he attempted suicide, leaving a note at my school about his reasons and my responsibility.

After his hospitalization I waited for him outside his place one night. I told him that if he hassled me or anyone else I would hire someone to beat his face in. As I figured, his vanity, and knowledge I meant it, stopped the bullshit.

by Dan Gallagherreply 406/14/2013

No...but I do stalk my ex by sending him a letter every year on our anniversary...not because I dont accept its over, but because bad people dont deserve happy endings. I sold my house, gave up MY career and moved across the country for HIS career. I was madly in love and totally devoted to him. He swore he loved me and we were married...only for me to find out a month later he was screwing his "best friend" the entire time we were together. He denied it until I showed him pictures that were given to me of them together. His only response was that "they were only words" when he said he loved me. Ive been in a relationship for years with someone I adore, but I will never let my "ex" forget the hell he put me through. I never recieved an apology, an explaination...nothing. When he sees me, he runs...not that I would ever do anything to him. He just refuses to take any responsibility for what he did. The sad part about it is I know that deep down he does love me, but he got caught with his hand in the cookie jar and is too much of a narcissist to admit he did anything wrong. I know it sounds pathetic, but Im far from psycho. I just like reminding him that you cant just screw with someones emotions and ruin their life without any consequences. If we had just broken up for whatever reason, I wouldnt bother...but he was living a secret life for years and convincing me I was the crazy one when I would question things that didnt make sense.

by Dan Gallagherreply 506/14/2013

If you want to drive him really crazy, R5, stop sending the cards and avoid where he might see you. He'll freak the fuck out believing you are once and truly over his ass. And by doing it, you might be.

by Dan Gallagherreply 606/14/2013

Time to move on, r5. Be glad the experience is behind you and leave it there.

by Dan Gallagherreply 706/14/2013

Here is what I want to know.

I had a crazy ex stalk me to the point where the police got involved. They were actually great - which made me think this might not have been the first time someone called them about him.

I honestly swear while we were dating there was no sign he was a complete nut job.

It was like the crazy switch got flipped.

Do you think that is usually the case - or are there usually signs from the beginning?

by Dan Gallagherreply 806/14/2013

You mean like Scientology?

by Dan Gallagherreply 906/14/2013

r8...while there are people who are mentally unstable from the get go, usually when the "crazy switch" gets flipped, its because there are lies, manipulations, infidelities or some other thing that happens resulting in the end of a relationship. The majority of people who are labeled "stalkers" arent really stalkers at all...they are victims who are labeled stalkers by the people who manipulate and use them so they dont have to take accountability for their own actions. Usually a true stalker is someone who has had little or no relations with the person they pursue...its a fabrication in their own mind.

by Dan Gallagherreply 1006/14/2013

I had this ex-fuck-buddy who thought I was stalking him, because I kept driving by his place. My sister lives in an assisted living facility around the corner. He was/is a closet case who worked for the Catholic church.

He called me out of the blue, yelling and saying I was trying to destroy his life. I honestly had no idea who he was until he explained the situation.

Once he was having a BBQ with his Catholic friends, and I slowed down and waved at him. He was certain that I was trying to destroy his life.

He was such a freak that I didn't tell him about my sister. I would rather he thought I was a stalker than to have him disturb her.

This didn't change anything, I still kept driving by. He eventually moved.

by Dan Gallagherreply 1106/14/2013

[quote]are there usually signs from the beginning?

If there are, we are probably blinded by love or lust to notice it. Lets face it, who would get into a relationship with someone who shows signs they maybe crazy? I know if I had any clue my ex would have turned out to be such a freak, I never would have started anything with him.

by Dan Gallagherreply 1206/14/2013

R10 = Stalked his ex. But it was his ex's fault.

by Dan Gallagherreply 1306/14/2013

Fuck me in the ass.

by Dan Gallagherreply 1406/14/2013

[quote]No...but I do stalk my ex by sending him a letter every year on our anniversary...not because I dont accept its over, but because bad people dont deserve happy endings.

Big deal, you send him a letter--do you really think he cares, or does anything with these letters but toss them in the trash, and perhaps have a laugh with friends or his current partner about how psycho ex did it again? You really should get him over him and move on, sans the letter-writing--when you send these letters, the only person you are punishing is yourself, by continuing to dwell on the unhappy demise of an ancient-history relationship.

by Dan Gallagherreply 1506/14/2013


Please define what YOU think stalking means.

This, I think, would be the better point to start this thread's discussion.

by Dan Gallagherreply 1606/15/2013

R5, R6 is right. You need to move on. Based on your post, I don't believe you're happy in your current relationship because if you were, you wouldn't send your ex a letter. If I was in a relationship with someone who mailed their ex every year on their anniversary, I'd run because that's not a sign that this person is committed.

You are not the only one who's gotten hurt and lied to by an ex. I'll bet most people who post here have. But moving on is really the best revenge and also the best thing you can do for yourself. Clinging to your ex is a sign that you still have feelings for him and have not moved on. It's time to.

by Dan Gallagherreply 1706/15/2013

OP here, for Re 16. I am talking about anyone who, whether a relationship ends amicably, or not, has an ex who through letters,e-mails, calls, or in-person, continues to hound the person , either because they won't accept the split, or has mental issues, and becomes vindictive.

by Dan Gallagherreply 1806/15/2013

R5 = psycho

by Dan Gallagherreply 1906/15/2013

"hound the person."

Ridiculous. It is normal to remain in contact with exes, and only unruly children predisposed to tantrums, dramas, and scenes would think otherwise. If I sometimes email those who don't respond, well, it is self-expression, not stalking, and frankly, a marker of my moral superiority although they would be enraged if I ever said something like that.

by Dan Gallagherreply 2006/15/2013

C'mon Re. 20 - I'm not talking about couples who continue to stay friends, or be in touch. I'm talking about unwanted continuance, by 1 party, to stay in touch with an ex, to the point of harassment.

by Dan Gallagherreply 2106/15/2013

OP, would you please fucking type R20 and not this "re" shit?

by Dan Gallagherreply 2206/15/2013

[quote]When they just can't except it's over

Maybe it's your old English teacher stalking you. The one that got away ...

by Dan Gallagherreply 2306/15/2013

[quote] Im far from psycho

Yes, you are. You ACT like a psycho and you RATIONALIZE it. That's called being a psycho.

by Dan Gallagherreply 2406/15/2013

Sometimes we just love so much. So hard. So deep that we cannot let go of u easily. Yeah we may call and hang up. Yeah we will drive by your house. Yeah we may egg your car. But we really love u and need u and miss u.

by Dan Gallagherreply 2506/15/2013

r24...Im not psycho...Im pissed. I forgot to mention in my post at r5 the way we broke up...I had come home from a Dr appt ( I went after I recieved the pictures I mentioned in my original post) after having just been told that my ex had given me several gifts that keep on giving ...including the BIG one. When I called him at work to confront him, I got a denial until I told him where I had just been...all he said was "I dont love you, they were only words" and he hung up. I never heard from him again. He never even came to get his stuff...I sent it to his mothers house a month later. We were together for years, not dating for a few months and I was 100% faithful. I dont write him to profess my love...I write him to remind him what a POS and a coward he is and so he'll think twice before doing the same thing to someone else. I dont care if he throws my letters away and doesnt read them. Its the fact that he sees my name and is reminded of what he did and how dispicable he is. Hes lucky that all I do is write letters. If that in your opinion makes me psycho, then so be it.

by Dan Gallagherreply 2606/15/2013

R10 = crazy stalker

No dear, it is often people in actual relationships who become some of the worst stalkers. They are narcissists who just can not accept that someone doesn't want them anymore. It actually shocks and enrages them. Sometimes they even kill.

It amazes me when stalkers like R5 assume that, because they made sacrifices and bad choices of their own free will, someone owes them their undying love forever. People fall out of love for lots of reasons and that's just life. Feelings are not within our control. Get over it. You won't get someone to fall back in love with you by acting like an asshole.

by Dan Gallagherreply 2706/15/2013

You may or may not be a psycho, R26, but you are definitely stuck.

by Dan Gallagherreply 2806/15/2013

Yes, R26, you are a psycho, and have some kind of mental disorder that won't let you move on. You think he reads these letters? And if he does, you think you're actually achieving what you're attempting? That's why you a re a psycho. You think you're "showing" him or teaching him some kind of lesson. Instead, you're only solidifying your position as bitter and angry, and probably verifying in his mind that he's lucky to be rid of someone capable of holding onto such anger.

by Dan Gallagherreply 2906/15/2013

On the contrary, what R26 doesn't say is what's important. By contacting the ex he is reminding him that he is ALIVE and that is far more healthy and cathartic than all you "move on" bozos.

by Dan Gallagherreply 3006/15/2013

Send dead flowers, then. Do it right.

by Dan Gallagherreply 3106/15/2013

R30, not at all. If anything, the ex is getting confirmation on how UNHEALTHY his ex is. At least mentally, anyway. But I'm sure the ex appreciates the confirmation that he made the right call in getting far far away.

by Dan Gallagherreply 3206/15/2013

Did r26 & r5's ex seroconvert him to HIV?

Am I reading between the lines correctly?

by Dan Gallagherreply 3306/15/2013

Oh, God, yes. It was awful. I would see him outside my office window, waiting for me to head out to lunch. When he saw me coming out of the building, he'd walk by and pretend to be surprised to see me. I'd go in to a record shop and he'd come in right after me. He didn't even like music, but he said he was stopping by to get a cd or whatever. It happened all the time, and it freaked me out. I ended up moving from the city, and didn't tell him where I moved to. He called my mother some time later to ask where I was, but my mom -- who is the coolest woman, ever -- told him that she'll give me his number, and I'll call if I wanted to. He finally did track me down, years and years later -- damn the internet -- to tell me had HIV. Despite my never wanting to see or talk to him again, I felt bad for him, and talked to him one last time. I have no idea if he's still alive, but I kind of doubt it. I appreciate that he loved me so much that he'd stalk me, but it's not a good feeling. at . all.

by Dan Gallagherreply 3406/15/2013

Stalking isn't about love R34.

by Dan Gallagherreply 3506/15/2013

I'm with R26 R5. His "lover" gave him HIV. Letter-writing isn't nearly enough, AFAIC.

by Dan Gallagherreply 3606/15/2013


R32...thats pretty F'd up. He gets confirmation that Im crazy because he lied and pretty much screwed me up for life and ran away with no explaination whatsoever ? Is that something you would do to someone and expect not to suffer any consequences ?

by Dan Gallagherreply 3706/15/2013

r37, you just don't get it, do you? You writing him letters is doing NOTHING to mae him "suffer consequences". He likely doesn't GIVE A SHIT! If he reads the letters, he probably laughs about them, or just thinks "Glad I got away from him!" It doesn't matter if you're right and he's wrong. You are achieving none of what you believe you are achieving and your inability to even recognize this shows how warped you are mentally.

by Dan Gallagherreply 3806/15/2013

[quote]I just like reminding him that you cant just screw with someones emotions and ruin their life without any consequences.

I will not be [italic]ignored[/italic], Dan!

by Dan Gallagherreply 3906/15/2013

No you don't get it R38. First of all, OP wouldn't have fallen in love in with him etc. if he were the monster you've described. Second, to the extent he is a monster the communication creates cognitive dissonance and reveals R26 as a survivor not a piece of trash the guy has thrown out. Third, OP isn't really doing it for R26's education but for himself. That love affair was an important part of his life and to pretend like it didn't exist is just as harmful psychologically to himself as dragging it around. That's the part you don't understand. If some asshole who was your life for a period of time tries to make you think your perceptions, judgement, and experience were all invalid, wrong, naive, and lame - that's a continuing violence, not one that ended with the break-up. And to pretend it means nothing to you, that it's no big deal that you have a big hole in your life, lesson learned, go forward, is not the constructive process psychologically that you seem to think it is. R26 is in effect saying, hey I don't know what the hell happened to you, you craven cowardly, loser piece of shit, but you don't get to redefine the past by forcing me to accept your fantasy narrative by disappearing from your life. That past is as much mine as yours, and you can't wish away reality because you got caught misbehaving.

by Dan Gallagherreply 4006/15/2013

This is very important: NOBODY has a right to make you disappear because they've decided they no longer wish to be your friend or lover. A good 50% of the time, that's what a stalking claim is: I want to pretend you never existed and so YOU have to disappear forever. And that's not a right anybody has, to coerce other people into removing themselves from their accustomed haunts in order to validate some false narrative of the past. I understand a lot of men particularly think they OWN somebody else and they commit violence because of this belief, and this is largely responsible for the hysteria about stalking: but the fact that the anti-stalking crowd keeps referring to a FICTIONAL movie about a violent woman stalker, something which is not unheard of but not common in real life, to justify not wanting to deal with anyone from their past they've disagreed with for any reason, tends to indicate we have more Borderline Personalities with fantasies about stalking here than we have real victims here.

by Dan Gallagherreply 4106/15/2013

R5, you have reason to be angry but you're only hurting yourself. You're not the only gay man to get HIV from someone they trusted and who betrayed them. Let the asshole go. Stop the letters. Focus on your current relationship. LIVE.

by Dan Gallagherreply 4206/15/2013

R41 writes like a stalker. Glad DL is anonymous!

by Dan Gallagherreply 4306/15/2013

And R43 writes like a typical conventional scaremonger. I believe he is also one of the trolls who think Muslims have taken over France and instituted sharia law.

by Dan Gallagherreply 4406/15/2013

[quote]I believe he is also one of the trolls who think Muslims have taken over France and instituted sharia law.

Voices in your head, dear?

by Dan Gallagherreply 4506/15/2013

[quote]Muslims have taken over France and instituted sharia law.

They haven't?

by Dan Gallagherreply 4606/15/2013

No just an extrapolation based on your inability to reason and your apparent susceptibility to scaremongering like the movie "Fatal Attraction." Movies and real life are not identical.

by Dan Gallagherreply 4706/15/2013

Stalking is a serious crime and people who use it as an excuse for demonizing their exes are just making things easier for real psychos by trivializing the issue.

by Dan Gallagherreply 4806/15/2013

Cyber stalking?

by Dan Gallagherreply 4906/15/2013

Crazy bitches up in this shit beyotch.

by Dan Gallagherreply 5006/15/2013

Let me assist by condensing R41's post:

I am insane.

Ain't nobody gonna walk away from me. NO-BODY.

That fucker tried to MAKE ME DISAPPEAR and had no right to call the police when I broke into his apartment and he caught me spray painting cocks on the walls and called the police. He had not right to have the police try to MAKE ME DISAPPEAR from his apartment, office, church, grocery store, parents' house in Long Island, friends' house, aunt's funeral, and all the other places I had a perfect right to be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by Dan Gallagherreply 5106/15/2013

Who let the Triscuit troll in?

by Dan Gallagherreply 5206/15/2013

R40/R41 is CREEPY! WTF!?

by Dan Gallagherreply 5306/15/2013

Wow, trolldar R41!

It's very enlightening, and tells you much about the state of Datalounge today.

by Dan Gallagherreply 5406/15/2013

[quote]NOBODY has a right to make you disappear because they've decided they no longer wish to be your friend or lover.

Actually, yes, I do, when your failure to "disappear" includes such things as breaking into my house, trespassing on my property and looking in my windows, repeatedly calling me at work, calling me at home a dozen times a day or more (until I got a new unlisted number), and the like. Sorry, but that's a stalker, not a fantasy, and it took a court order to get the behavior to stop.

by Dan Gallagherreply 5506/15/2013

Do tell R54. I'm too lazy to go to all that work trolldaring.

by Dan Gallagherreply 5606/15/2013

Bet someone has a restraining order for the hot mess at R41.

by Dan Gallagherreply 5706/15/2013

[quote]This is very important: NOBODY has a right to make you disappear

From the planet, no. From my personal life, yes, barring the occasional unplanned encounter, and I mean truly unplanned, not you've been camped outside my building for 9 hours waiting to "accidentally bump into" me unplanned.

[quote]A good 50% of the time, that's what a stalking claim is: I want to pretend you never existed and so YOU have to disappear forever.

I have no right to make you stop existing, but I have every right to cease paying attention to your existence if I wish. You may not like it, but that's the way it is. I'll say hello and be polite if we bump into each other on the street or with mutual friends, but I do not need to answer your phone calls, read your texts or emails, invite you into my home, or engage with you in any other way if I do not care to do so.

[quote]And that's not a right anybody has, to coerce other people into removing themselves from their accustomed haunts in order to validate some false narrative of the past

Depends entirely on what you mean by "accustomed haunts." If we met because we belong to the same gym or shop at the same grocery store etc., then, no, of course, I can't expect you to give up a part of your daily routine that predates me just because I'd rather not run into you. But if by "accustomed haunts," you mean my house, my yard, my office, etc., then hell yeah, you need to stay the fuck away. And if by "accustomed haunts," you mean "public places you've never ever been before, and have absolutely zero interest in, but will now visit on a daily basis because you suspect you may run into me there," well, then, I might not be able to stop you, but do please know that you are a fucking psycho who needs help.

by Dan Gallagherreply 5806/15/2013

Yes, well we can all make up scenarios can't we, particularly ones we've learned from television and the movies.

by Dan Gallagherreply 5906/15/2013

Usually I'm the crazy stalker.

by Dan Gallagherreply 6006/15/2013

Listen, crazy stalker @ R59, no one is making up scenarios. The examples given @ R55 & R58 are all too common text book stalker behaviors--like everyday common. Come out of the basement and experience real life for a change.

by Dan Gallagherreply 6106/16/2013

[quote]Yes, well we can all make up scenarios can't we,

You didn't live through it, moron. If you're going to remain in denial, I'd suggest you do it elsewhere, since you clearly have no idea what you're talking about. Or you're a stalker desperate to rationalize his behavior. Which is it?

Turning on trolldar on your posts is quite revealing.

by Dan Gallagherreply 6206/16/2013

Trolldar reveals a sicko stalker!

by Dan Gallagherreply 6306/16/2013

r61 and r62.. The descriptions at r55 and r58 are clearly delusional people. What r59 was stating in his prior posts is that while there are people who are clearly stalkers, there are also people who use the term as a scapegoat in order to avoid people and situations from their past, thereby rewriting their own reality. He was referring to people who have been in long term relationships who choose to treat the other person as if they and the relationship never existed in order to avoid them, and in order to do so, label them as stalkers. While there are situations where you have no choice but to totally cut off the other person (abuse, addiction, legitimate stalking behavior, etc), if you have been in a relationship with someone for years, there is no logical reason to treat the other person as if they and your relationship never existed. That in and of itself is a form of abuse (Im not talking about avoiding the person or casually saying hello and being civil when you see each other). Usually when one of the people go to that extreme, it is because one of them did something reprehensible and dont want to be held accountable for their actions, or they were hurt so badly that they dont want to see the other person to avoid doing something they regret. They then use the term "stalker" in order to rationalize their position. Those are the people who delegitimize situations described in r55 and r58. Its like a person who knowingly and willingly sleeps with someone and then claims "rape" the next day because they have regrets.

by Dan Gallagherreply 6406/16/2013

Get help, R64 etc, because being dumped is one of those "life isn't fair things".

If you're dumped you're dumped, you're out of a person's life just because they don't want you there. There's no right to control another person after the dumping, and no right to control their memories, perceptions, or activities. If they tell you to get out of their life, you have no right to force yourself on them.

Yeah, it sucks, but tough titty.

by Dan Gallagherreply 6506/16/2013

R41 has someone in their basement chained up, right? I'm not the only one who picked up on that, am I?

by Dan Gallagherreply 6606/16/2013

Your ex is a dog, R64, but in continuing to engage him, you're giving him entirely too much power over you.

Holding a grudge is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die. Let it go.

by Dan Gallagherreply 6706/16/2013

[quote]He was referring to people who have been in long term relationships who choose to treat the other person as if they and the relationship never existed in order to avoid them, and in order to do so.

Where are you getting this from? What you are describing is something totally different and has nothing to do with harassing and stalking another person. And where do you get the idea R59 was talking only about long term relationships? In none of his post does that term even appear.

by Dan Gallagherreply 6806/16/2013

[quote]The descriptions at [R55] and [R58] are clearly delusional people.

Really? So the restraining order I filed, the neighbor who testified that he saw my ex climbing through a bedroom window when I wasn't home, the friend who testified that he saw my ex peeking in through the living room window while we were watching tv... these were "delusions?" The judge who granted the restraining order didn't think so, thankfully.

You didn't live through it, moron. Until you do, I suggest you refrain from commenting, since you clearly don't know what the hell you're talking about.

[quote]What [R59] was stating in his prior posts is that while there are people who are clearly stalkers, there are also people who use the term as a scapegoat in order to avoid people and situations from their past, thereby rewriting their own reality.

He wrote far more than that, and what he wrote was quite revealing, beginning with his post at R20.

[quote]He was referring to people who have been in long term relationships who choose to treat the other person as if they and the relationship never existed in order to avoid them, and in order to do so, label them as stalkers.

And yet neither he nor you have any evidence that such people exist.

[quote]if you have been in a relationship with someone for years, there is no logical reason to treat the other person as if they and your relationship never existed.

Actually, there are legitimate reasons why such a response is often warranted, depending on the nature of the relationship and the two parties involved.

[quote]That in and of itself is a form of abuse

Oh, garbage. I'm not "abusing" anyone by getting on with my life. And if you see it as "abuse," that says far more about you than it does about me.

by Dan Gallagherreply 6906/16/2013

Ah, I missed that R64 is R5. That explains a lot. You should look up "denial," R64.

by Dan Gallagherreply 7006/16/2013 totally miss the point. Yes, people get dumped...its not about that. Im referring to the people who scream they are being "stalked" because they run into an ex ...or they get a call or letter out of the blue. Im not talking about someone whos trying to force themselves into your life because they wont let go or they are obsessed with you. If I ran into my ex at the store or the gym and we werent on speaking terms, I would avoid him, but if he acknowledged me as he passed, I would say acknowledge him back. I wouldnt turn into a drama queen and run out of the store or gym and claim hes stalking me like some people do. Theres a difference between being civil and rational and being a narcissist. Its one thing to choose not to acknowledge something, but another to deny it ever existed at all.

by Dan Gallagherreply 7106/16/2013 need to slow down and read before you post...I did not stae you were delusional...I stated the people YOU DESCRIBED in r55 and r58 were.

by Dan Gallagherreply 7206/16/2013

I've been stalked, and also stalked others. It's true that stalking comes from not getting what you want and not being able to handle it.

I had a bf for a tumultuous 9 months in '06/'07. He was abusive. We broke up every month, but then he would beg and wheedle and force his way in my house. I always felt sorry for him (stupid me). He would act good only as long as he thought he didn't have me. As soon as I would relent, it was back to the same shit. When we finally broke up for good after he kept trying to get us slowly back into a relationship (he was just lonely), he started sending me bizarre emails. I wouldn't respond because I learned that any response would crack the door a little and he would force it wide open. But those emails infuriated me so much and left me upset for 2 weeks each time I'd get one. I finally blocked his emails because I couldn't take it anymore. I hope and assume he eventually moved on.

I have stalked many people, but subtly. Usually driving by houses. When young, I called one guy a lot and would hang up. He had moved on to much hotter people when I got fat, and I saw them around town. I missed him. It was hell on me.

This last time was a couple years ago. I met the love of my life, a relationship better than anything I've ever had. He dumped me and I couldn't process it because everything was so good between us - there was no logical reason to break up. Our connection was fantastic. It was all I could talk about, and my friends kept saying he just doesn't want to be with you. I would call him and he would usually ignore me. I was such a mess. I happened upon him driving through town one day and followed him. He was really uncomfortable. I confronted him and basically talked him into continuing with me. It turns out he'd never experienced a relationship with deep intimacy and it scared the shit out of him. He spent his whole life fleeing anything too intimate and uncomfortable. I had to talk him into feeling safe, assuring him I would still accept him no matter what he thought were he unacceptable parts. That took a lot of work, convincing him I'd be there for him. And here we are today, (mostly) blissfully happy, living together, a deep connection, a lot of fun, passion, and building a life together. We have fights, but they are over petty things like cleaning the house. Not foundational issues.

So here's a story of stalking gone right! Yes, I was certainly a psycho when he dumped me, but it was because I knew this is who I want to spend my life with. He now tells me he would feel an immense emptiness if I wasn't here.

I admit if I hadn't been able to convince him that last time, I would have had to move on. And it would have take a loooong time with deep depression.

by Dan Gallagherreply 7306/16/2013

R72 Are you the sort of person who attends a lecture about the history of the Apollo missions then complains later because they didn't cover the proper way to prune a rose bush? Because that is what you are doing here. You are trying so hard to frame the discussion to include your scenarios, not realizing what you have invented in your head is just that, something in your head. And again, since you refused to answer before, I will ask again: where did you get the idea R59 was talking about people in long term relationships? It seems strange that you refuse to answer how you have the insight into what a stranger was really thinking.

The only delusional person here is the one who thinks none of us have caught on to what you are really doing. We all see right through you.

by Dan Gallagherreply 7406/16/2013 need to chill. clearly r59 stated in his post at r40..."a person who has been in you life for a period of time"...while it is subjective, I do not read that as having had one or two dates with someone. I read that as a relationship. And I am not trying to make the discussion about my situation...people have posted comments and I responded regarding what is classified as actual stalking (such as r55 and r58) and how some people use the term when it doesnt really apply.

by Dan Gallagherreply 7506/16/2013

sorry....r75 was directed at r74

by Dan Gallagherreply 7606/16/2013

Sorry R75 but a period of time does not equal a "long term relationship". A period of time could be a few hours or a few million years. You're reaching really hard, but its not working.

by Dan Gallagherreply 7706/16/2013

A big story is going break soon about an L.A stalking scam. Basically, stalking is a rare occurrence. Real stalkers are delusional and easy to spot. You don't just become a stalker. It's a real mental disease. Any expert knows immediately. Meanwhile, an LAPD unit called the Threat Management Unit was founded on the premise that they needed a special unit for this "problem," after Rebecca Sheafer's murder. They have conferences and pretend that their jobs take special training. Soon they saw that the Unit was extraneous. But, they learned that keeping up the facade of a major stalking problem could get then not only a lot of Federal funding, but they can have a way to hobnob with celebrities and Hollywood Power Brokers. And, when they retired early there was huge money to be made in celebrity security firms.

Though this unit purports to handle aggravated felony stalking cases, they actually falsify misdemeanor charges, since the city attorney also has decided it's fun to hang out in Mansions with celebrities. They have to justify the federal funding so they must falsify cases so as not to lose the best job in the LAPD. Hard to believe, but this is happening, and two big names are involved, and one maybe semi know comedian (with publicized cancer, and a predilection for having threads deleted by her law firm.)

After Anthony Pellicano was sent to Federal Prison, certain lawyers representing celebrities, or celebrity aspirants who feared any bad press, figured a way to win civil cases against anyone suing them. Jeffrey Dunn, the supervisor, and the other detectives of this unit will get anyone who pays their hefty fees labeled a stalker and a dangerous criminal. It's easier than you think.

Since legislation allows this Unit to circumvent a lot of laws, if they allege stalking -- the non stalker, who just sued someone who harmed them-- is effectively neutralized in their civil suit, and then turned into a creepy stalker as a bonus. Since these clients of these firms are public figures the slander is spread everywhere.

Keep an eye out for this story to break.

by Dan Gallagherreply 7806/16/2013

R75 is a stalker. They said so themselves. It's sad to see how much they are trying to defend their own irrational behavior.

by Dan Gallagherreply 7906/16/2013

I don't have a membership. Can someone start a thread about being falsely accused of a crime, and what it feels like, and how they got over it etc. Thanks.

by Dan Gallagherreply 8006/16/2013

R78 and R80 is a stalker who got busted. She may also believe that climate change scientists are just making the whole thing up so they can shill for grants.

by Dan Gallagherreply 8106/16/2013

No, but I once read a thread about stalking where trolldar showed that a couple of posters obsessively tried to change the topic into

"people who accuse others of being stalkers are the real problem."

One can only imagine the motivation for that, ha ha.

by Dan Gallagherreply 8206/16/2013

Let's see if I've got this right: this posting has now more than 80 -- that's right, EIGHTY! -- responses; and not ONE of the dingle-berry responders has noted OP's original posting and the GROSS miscarriage of using correct and proper English?!!? OP, do you KNOW the distinction between "except" and "ACCEPT"?!! Obviously not. Holy Mary, Joseph and Jesus! How dumbed down HAS teaching and learning in this country become, anyway? Are DL's responders ALL products of the public educational system, like the first 82 responders?!! No wonder Obama got re-elected last year! I've heard of 'low information voters.' We now have a generation of 'low informers spellers?' SHEESH!!

by Dan Gallagherreply 8306/16/2013

R83 They now how an out-patient procedure for removing sticks from one's ass.

by Dan Gallagherreply 8406/16/2013

" ...low informers spellers?'

Yasssss, hunnee. You tell 'em!

by Dan Gallagherreply 8506/16/2013

R83, many times in life, it's easier to except (hahaha) people as they are, and not try to fix everything. Even if one knows better. Telling someone how their (did it again!) wrong is not always useful or appreciated.

Sometimes it's nice to just read for content rather than errors to retentively correct.

But hey, we're all entitled to are (!) opinions.

by Dan Gallagherreply 8606/16/2013

I looked him up on FB - does that count as stalking?

by Dan Gallagherreply 8706/16/2013

Rant all you like, R78, but they're not going to legalize stalking just for your convenience.

by Dan Gallagherreply 8806/16/2013

It does to these witch finding hysterics R87. There are shadows right now...creeping up on them.... in the the dark...BOO!

by Dan Gallagherreply 8906/16/2013
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