I'm going to a wedding alone, no date, tomorrow. I am dreading it. I have been in a relationship for six years and am newly single. I have been seated at the "singles" table to boot, or the "extras' table, however you want to term the purgatory for people with no partner. I am not going to know many people (wedding of a coworker) except for my colleagues, who are all married and will be sitting at the "couples" table. I feel depressed about it. I also look horrible. I put on weight since the breakup. Oh and I can't even drink much, since I'm driving myself there (another perk of going ALONE). I am this close to making up an excuse. And I would except the colleague is a superior and I think it would look bad. I feel bad for myself and hmph. Vent.
Attending a social event alone
|by Alone||reply 19||06/14/2013|
Go to a movie instead.
|by Alone||reply 1||06/14/2013|
Sounds horrible. Make an excuse and stay home, or better yet, get a happy-ending massage. Your superior at work shouldn't have put you and your peers in the awkward position of feeling like you should attend.
|by Alone||reply 2||06/14/2013|
Blah, blah, blah...
I'm nobody unless I'm totally defined by being attached to another miserable human being.
Suck it up bitch.
|by Alone||reply 3||06/14/2013|
Ive had this happen a few times. Here's what you do. You go. You put in an appearance, then you split. The happy couple are going to be way too busy and preoccupied to even notice you're gone.
|by Alone||reply 4||06/14/2013|
I've gone to many weddings alone and I've never felt that I was seated in an "extras" table.
|by Alone||reply 5||06/14/2013|
Give yourself a job... like making yourself 'host' of the singles table. Make sure that everyone is introduced. Don't be a passive victim. Lead conversations. Ask people what they do. People actually do like to talk about themselves when prompted. It's not always all about you.
|by Alone||reply 6||06/14/2013|
Weddings are a great place to hook up with other singles.
|by Alone||reply 8||06/14/2013|
Hijack the bride during the first dance.
|by Alone||reply 9||06/14/2013|
Treat it like a business event. Network with your colleagues. Try to make new contacts. Totally ignore the social/sexual aspects, unless they fall in your lap, so to speak.
|by Alone||reply 10||06/14/2013|
Then don't go to the wedding OP. The wedding is not about you, you know. It's about the two getting married.
|by Alone||reply 11||06/14/2013|
Oh, come on. The "Freaks and Geeks" table can be a lot of fun!
|by Alone||reply 12||06/14/2013|
Here's what I learned that finally got me passed social anxiety, be it over being single at a "couples" event or whatever: NO ONE GIVES A FUCK.
For real. No one cares. Do you care if someone is sitting at the "singles" table? I bet you don't. What people do care about is how engaging you are, whether you can carry a light conversation, whether you seem affable or not. So be gracious, friendly, and lively, even if you have to fake all three.
|by Alone||reply 13||06/14/2013|
R4 is wise.
|by Alone||reply 14||06/14/2013|
if it helps OP several of the couples of miserable.
|by Alone||reply 15||06/14/2013|
R4 is not wise. You made the effort to get there, perhaps out of town. People you know are having a party. Unclench and have a good time.
|by Alone||reply 16||06/14/2013|
Snap out of it! We all have occasional social obligations that we are not looking forward to.
|by Alone||reply 17||06/14/2013|
[quote] Unclench and have a good time.
What if having a good time requires he gets the hell out of there?
|by Alone||reply 18||06/14/2013|
In that case, get the hell out of there. But assuming OP generally likes free food, music, and alcohol and the presence of friends and perhaps family, he should not let shame (or the expectation of being treated as a second class guest) prevent his fun.
|by Alone||reply 19||06/14/2013|