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Attending a social event alone

I'm going to a wedding alone, no date, tomorrow. I am dreading it. I have been in a relationship for six years and am newly single. I have been seated at the "singles" table to boot, or the "extras' table, however you want to term the purgatory for people with no partner. I am not going to know many people (wedding of a coworker) except for my colleagues, who are all married and will be sitting at the "couples" table. I feel depressed about it. I also look horrible. I put on weight since the breakup. Oh and I can't even drink much, since I'm driving myself there (another perk of going ALONE). I am this close to making up an excuse. And I would except the colleague is a superior and I think it would look bad. I feel bad for myself and hmph. Vent.

by Alonereply 1906/14/2013

Go to a movie instead.

by Alonereply 106/14/2013

Sounds horrible. Make an excuse and stay home, or better yet, get a happy-ending massage. Your superior at work shouldn't have put you and your peers in the awkward position of feeling like you should attend.

by Alonereply 206/14/2013

Blah, blah, blah...

I'm nobody unless I'm totally defined by being attached to another miserable human being.

Suck it up bitch.

by Alonereply 306/14/2013

Ive had this happen a few times. Here's what you do. You go. You put in an appearance, then you split. The happy couple are going to be way too busy and preoccupied to even notice you're gone.

by Alonereply 406/14/2013

I've gone to many weddings alone and I've never felt that I was seated in an "extras" table.

by Alonereply 506/14/2013

Give yourself a job... like making yourself 'host' of the singles table. Make sure that everyone is introduced. Don't be a passive victim. Lead conversations. Ask people what they do. People actually do like to talk about themselves when prompted. It's not always all about you.

by Alonereply 606/14/2013

I think having a single's table is assy.

by Alonereply 706/14/2013

Weddings are a great place to hook up with other singles.

by Alonereply 806/14/2013

Hijack the bride during the first dance.

by Alonereply 906/14/2013

Treat it like a business event. Network with your colleagues. Try to make new contacts. Totally ignore the social/sexual aspects, unless they fall in your lap, so to speak.

by Alonereply 1006/14/2013

Then don't go to the wedding OP. The wedding is not about you, you know. It's about the two getting married.

by Alonereply 1106/14/2013

Oh, come on. The "Freaks and Geeks" table can be a lot of fun!

by Alonereply 1206/14/2013

Here's what I learned that finally got me passed social anxiety, be it over being single at a "couples" event or whatever: NO ONE GIVES A FUCK.

For real. No one cares. Do you care if someone is sitting at the "singles" table? I bet you don't. What people do care about is how engaging you are, whether you can carry a light conversation, whether you seem affable or not. So be gracious, friendly, and lively, even if you have to fake all three.

by Alonereply 1306/14/2013

R4 is wise.

by Alonereply 1406/14/2013

if it helps OP several of the couples of miserable.

by Alonereply 1506/14/2013

R4 is not wise. You made the effort to get there, perhaps out of town. People you know are having a party. Unclench and have a good time.

by Alonereply 1606/14/2013

Snap out of it! We all have occasional social obligations that we are not looking forward to.


by Alonereply 1706/14/2013

[quote] Unclench and have a good time.

What if having a good time requires he gets the hell out of there?

by Alonereply 1806/14/2013

In that case, get the hell out of there. But assuming OP generally likes free food, music, and alcohol and the presence of friends and perhaps family, he should not let shame (or the expectation of being treated as a second class guest) prevent his fun.

by Alonereply 1906/14/2013
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