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Advice needed, getting desperate. Try to be kind.

What kind of vocational school I can go to and finish within 2 years (or sooner) that will offer me a stable career? I know nothing is guaranteed, but I need to do something with my life, and at my age (48) I don't want to do a 4 year degree. Not only that, but I have no problem admitting I'm probably not smart enough. In addition, I don't want to be saddled with that debt at this point in my life.

Without going into a lot of detail. I never got a degree, and have pretty much been drifting from shit job to shit job. When I was younger, I was able to coast along on my great looks, did a few modeling jobs, had a few sugar daddies, etc. Big mistake. I wasted so many years partying, traveling, and just fucking off. In my jaded youth I thought the party would last forever. Boy, was I wrong!

Well, the hens have come home to roost, and here I am. No education, no skills, spotty work history..

I know I fucked up, but all I can do now is move forward. It's hard to get hired for anything at this point, even a retail job. Especially when they see my work history is all over the place ("jack of all trades, master of none"), and I have no education.

I know it's a bit late, but I want to at least have one skill so I can go out and get a real job, have a purpose, and feel like I am being productive human being.

Any kind advice is appreciated. Thanks.

by Anonymousreply 9106/13/2013

Anyone? :(

by Anonymousreply 106/12/2013

Could you get a paralegal diploma? I think that's only one, or two years.

by Anonymousreply 206/12/2013

Nursing school seems to be very promising and increasingly popular with mean, including straight men. I've been amazed by what I've seen in my small sampling. I realize you want something faster, OP.

by Anonymousreply 306/12/2013

Scottie is that you?

by Anonymousreply 406/12/2013

How old are you, OP?

by Anonymousreply 506/12/2013

R5, OP states his age in his post.

by Anonymousreply 606/12/2013

You really need to see a professional coach on how to present your background in the most positive light possible. Do you have enough charm to do well at retail sales? For example, look at high-end jewelry or another product where the target is an older market.

The only training program that I think would be worthwhile is in the ever growing healthcare field. Talk to graduates about their job offers post graduation.

by Anonymousreply 706/12/2013

OP, this is not a joke--dog grooming. I have to wait a month to six weeks for appts. for my dogs. I pay about $75.00 per dog and it probably takes them about an hour.

by Anonymousreply 806/12/2013

What are your interests? What kind of job would you never want to do?

by Anonymousreply 906/12/2013

I was a lot like you. At 33 I enrolled in cosmetology school and in 9 months I was a beauty professional. Now I'm my own boss and only work about 20 hours a week.

But I remember asking myself the same question as you: what school can I go to that is fast & cheap? I knew I didn't want to be a medical assistant or anything like that so I thought, "Hair school!" I went right out and signed up and never really, reeeaally thought it over. Which was a good thing because imagine my shock that first day of school when I realized I was going to have to touch people and not all of them was going to be cute. I may have had second thoughts if I'd known.

Another advantage to a late-in-life beauty career is that most people assume you've been doing it for 20 years so you have an advantage by appearing older and sophisticated unlike, say, a technology career.

by Anonymousreply 1006/12/2013

Offer blow jobs on Adam4Adam for 10 bucks a head. 10 dicks a day ain't bad pay.

by Anonymousreply 1106/12/2013

Because of your looks I would suggest some type of Massage Therapy as a career.

by Anonymousreply 1206/12/2013

Learn welding you can work anywhere. You may not even need the degree, although specialized welding does require more training.

by Anonymousreply 1306/12/2013

I'm a hiring manager for a large, nationwide security firm. Basically, if you have a high school diploma, a "Guard Card" and a clear criminal history, you're hired.

You can get a two year Criminal Justice Associates degree and that will at least put you at a higher, better-than-entry level position.

There are all levels of security guards. And some definitely make a career out of it. Also, like any industry, you can make a career out of the administrative side. I "started" as a temp receptionist and 2 yrs later I'm now the hiring manager.

Oh, what the hell ... Here's our hiring website:

by Anonymousreply 1406/12/2013

Sell drugs.

by Anonymousreply 1506/12/2013

Go to community college and take HVAC courses. Always a demand for skilled technicians.

by Anonymousreply 1606/12/2013

You can get trained to be one of those medical technicians who run the x ray machines and the ultrasound stuff. I think it takes about 18 months, then you get certified and you can work at any hospital or diagnostic imaging center, and the pay is pretty good.

I think you are smart, OP, to want to learn a skill. That's an insurance policy. I think Med Tech or security guard are two good ideas.

by Anonymousreply 1706/12/2013

R17 is right. Sonography techs and Radiology techs make excellent money in big cities ($45/hr+ to start) and more than average money anywhere else. My BF has a Phd and retired from his teaching job. Because he's still young and wanted something else he became a rad tech. He loves it. It was 2 yrs at a community college and 3-4 prerequisite courses. The second was almost exclusively clinical training. It required mucho studying but in the end I can see how it was worth it.

He could also do another 6 mos training and add another tech credential. Some friends of his did this and they are easily making close to 6 figures and more. Eventually as he gets older I hope he will begin to teach it.

hope that helps.

by Anonymousreply 1806/12/2013

R18 - Not OP, but I looked into that, and you need an AA degree before you can be accepted into any sonography program in CA. Then it's an additional 12-18 months. Not sure what state OP is in though. There's also a waiting list with the top grade getters and those with BA and BS degrees being at the top. They make it very hard to break into that field here.

by Anonymousreply 1906/12/2013

I could have written your post, OP- except I'll be 50 next year. High School diploma (just barely). Moved all over, dozens and dozens of shit jobs.

I'm not stupid. I know all about jobs and I hate all of them. People will try to be helpful and give me ideas and I try to be polite ("No, blood makes me light-headed").

I currently work as a low paid Security Officer in an office building. Workers must think I envy them but I don't. At all. Last thing I want is to be chained to a computer in one of those hog cubes.

by Anonymousreply 2006/12/2013

[quote] I could have written your post, OP

Not really. OP actually wants to work and be productive, you sound rather lazy.

by Anonymousreply 2106/12/2013

Take a nursing assistance course. Often nursing homes sponsor and certify the students themselves.

Now you have a job. Then you can start work on you LPN. As a man there will be opportunity

by Anonymousreply 2206/12/2013

I like r10's suggestion. Im great with my hands and I cut my own hair so that would be my go to fall back career. I would be unhappy in a medical setting, but thats just me.

by Anonymousreply 2306/12/2013

R20, I'd never hire you.

by Anonymousreply 2406/12/2013

R19, thanks for the correction on sonography although you don't need a degree to enter a rad tech program at a community college. You're also right, grades are extremely important, but I think that holds true for all academia. The highest grades get you in, but lets assume most people can get good grades if they spend the time studying.

by Anonymousreply 2606/12/2013

I think this would be the perfect option.

by Anonymousreply 2706/12/2013

Paperboy, OP? (You sound a bit like a gay Chris Peterson).

by Anonymousreply 2806/12/2013

OP: do you like animals? I know this probably sound stupid, but pet-sitting can be pretty lucrative and it's all CASH (or check...) If you like dogs, cats, etc. and don't mind staying at other peoples' houses when they are on vacation/out of town, you might do well. We've paid close to $100/day to have someone pet sit our 3 dogs. Our old pet sitter (who we don;t use anymore b/c we don;t have dogs any more) was booked SOLID for months on end. She also walks dogs, check in them during the day, whatever the owner wants. I'd be doing this if I didn't have 2 little kids...

by Anonymousreply 2906/12/2013

Well, We're proud of you Reichen!

You're finally taking that next big step!

by Anonymousreply 3006/12/2013

Massage therapist or truck driving.

by Anonymousreply 3106/12/2013

Plumbers and electricians make good money. You can go to a trade school and have a job in six months.

by Anonymousreply 3306/12/2013

I hear the NSA is hiring. And they train on the job.

by Anonymousreply 3406/12/2013

X ray tech....

and they make pretty damn good money.

by Anonymousreply 3506/12/2013

I would go for RN or some medical field if I'm OP. Good luck OP. Hugs.

by Anonymousreply 3606/12/2013

CDL licenses cost $4,000 in the Midwest. A non-gay nephew asked me for tuition last year.

It takes six months, I believe, and you have to check out all of them on the web for fraud and complaints.

by Anonymousreply 3706/12/2013

I'd stay away from the medical field for a minute - there's a lot of downward pressure on those wages on the horizon.

The booming field for the foreseeable future is computers. Even something as basic as a certificate in a few different systems will get you steady work. If you have any technical inclination at all, tech is your best bet.

Get as much on the job training as possible while you study to build your resume. When you're done training figure out how to present your entire history in one story. You won't get hired by telling people you wandered around etc. and went into this new field b/c you are desperate. You need to pitch it as the culmination of a lifelong passion for ____________ and figure out how to spin the rest of what you've done in that light.

Good news is that once you get some training and internship experience, it should be pretty easy to get a job at your age if you are motivated esp. with a big corp. They go out of their way to fill quotas and over 40 is a protected class so your age can actually be an asset if you apply to the right places.

Good luck. It's never too late.

by Anonymousreply 3806/12/2013

Cosmetology. Great money, great hours. No matter the economy, people will always spend money on a haircut.

by Anonymousreply 3906/12/2013

I love this thread. I'm 46, have always made a comfortable living as a waiter, but know I can't (or want to) do it forever.

by Anonymousreply 4006/13/2013

I think OP is a woman, but can't be sure. Regardless.

My sister went through this after a long marriage, and with only a high school education and some part time jobs, she went into a 2 year course to become an ex-ray technician. She was hired at 49 and is doing well 4 years later at the same job.

It can be ultrasound or MRI or even a lab tech, but these are good jobs that pay well(lab tech not so well) If you like people enough to make them feel comfortable but without taking on their whole situation it is a good bet for employment in a hospital or clinic environment. Never out of work and you don't have to be young. Just nice, bright and reasonably fit.

If you don't want to be that intimate with naked scared people you might consider something as dull as tax preparation or training to be a phone rep for a government agency. My friend makes 70K a year just answering questions about taxes.

I am kind but out of ideas. Good luck.

by Anonymousreply 4106/13/2013

What about becoming a dental hygienist? I hear they make good money and the program is only 2 years IIRC.

by Anonymousreply 4206/13/2013

R38 is deluded.

by Anonymousreply 4306/13/2013

real estate license. if you don't mind dry spells and can afford them. Or Home Inspector if you don't mind crawl spaces and getting a little dirty.

by Anonymousreply 4406/13/2013

Teaching English as a foreign language (TEFL). I don't know about in the States but you can get a certificate from a 4-week course here in Europe. A lot of teachers have a range of backgrounds. There are plenty who have done lots of nothing in particular before teaching. It can be a fun job. Not everyone's cup of tea but something to consider along with the other good suggestions here.

by Anonymousreply 4506/13/2013

R43 is the delusional one here.

If you don't think changes in health care laws isn't going to have any effect on wages paid in the industry (especially at the lower and mid pay levels), you're too stoopid to live.

by Anonymousreply 4606/13/2013


by Anonymousreply 4706/13/2013

Zero sympathy for this shallow queen. Future welfare recipient deserves her new lot in life. How many nice guys did you fuck over? How many men did you steal away from their boyfriends just because you could in your "jaded youth"? How many middle aged men did you prick tease, then laugh at and point fingers? Well, now you ARE one, but with no prospects - I hope you linger in your misery.

by Anonymousreply 4806/13/2013

Cosmetology,Esthetics,or Massage Therapy are great options.

by Anonymousreply 4906/13/2013


by Anonymousreply 5006/13/2013

Couldn't you ask your psychiatrist about this stuff? Is DL psychology 101 to you?

by Anonymousreply 5106/13/2013

In real desperation maybe do a CNA class. It takes about 6 weeks to complete and there are many jobs waiting for you. All a little shitty perhaps but you said you were desperate.

by Anonymousreply 5206/13/2013

at this point technical career is probably out - most education in tech requires some basic knowledge to expand on. If you do want to go that route I suggest networking - Cisco certification and training - you can actually get ccna training through group on for 99 bucks and it is decent training.

Cosmetology is an excellent suggestion - people pay good money for a good haircut and if you rent a booth at a salon you don't have a lot into it to be your own boss and make as much money as you like.

by Anonymousreply 5306/13/2013

TV/VCR repair. You can train at home.

by Anonymousreply 5406/13/2013

I own my own software training company. A trend has been developing lately that could help. For the last few years employers are finding their staff under trained in the basics like Word, Excel and Microsoft Sharepoint. The systems have tons of new features but the work force uses the programs like nothing has changed since 1995. For a few hundred dollars you can take one day classes at a local training center then pass your Microsoft Office Specialist exams.

I have had quite a few career changer students that walk into a company and replace the aging workforce at decent salaries.

DO NOT take these at a community college. 6 weeks to take Excel, at a software training center you get more depth in 3 days and a fraction of the cost. It is not a degree but the certification exam they want.

Sadly employers could send their existing staff instead but don't.

by Anonymousreply 5506/13/2013

Posters are giving you all manner of suggestions for technical skill training and careers- but I wonder what you are interested in?

by Anonymousreply 5606/13/2013

Not esthetics. I know several women and one man who had to do a career change from that career. They were lucky to get jobs selling cosmetics at Macy's. the people already in that career are not leaving, in a bad economy, facials, etc, aren't at the top of the list for people.

by Anonymousreply 5706/13/2013

R45 in Canada a TEFL takes 2 years!

by Anonymousreply 5806/13/2013

I was somewhat in your position.

Join the military. You will have a stable lifestyle, and it's guaranteed financial stability after you get out while you attend college with the G.I. Bill you earned. There are many jobs that don't require toughness or danger. As far as medical and criminal history, it is wise to admit only what is on paper unless you intend to do it again. There are waivers for smaller crimes.

by Anonymousreply 5906/13/2013

Apparently reading comprehension isn't required for the military.

by Anonymousreply 6006/13/2013

R59, Why would a 48-year-old want to join the military? That's ridiculous

by Anonymousreply 6106/13/2013

Really, r59, did you even read the OP?

by Anonymousreply 6206/13/2013

I skimmed over the age, OP's story sounded so much like my 20's I just assumed. Perhaps OP should start training for a good job with relatively short training time and no age limitation, such as nursing. Nursing is great because you can start at a low level such as LVN, and make money working in that field while training for the next level.

by Anonymousreply 6306/13/2013

To those of you who said RN, read the OP.

OP, if you are a CNA or LVN you will be up to your elbows in piss and shit. It also requires a lot of lifting and rolling of patients. I know 48 is relatively young, but do you want to start on that kind of thing? And as a hair dresser, you will be on your feet all day.

Also - R57 is right. I have a friend who spent 11K to go to the Paul Mitchell esthetics school/skin academy and is now working as a pre-school teacher. She can't find any work at all. The good jobs are all taken, and like R57 said, no one is leaving them. No one new is being hired because of the economy. The rich folks are going, sure - but to the estheticians who have been there for years.

by Anonymousreply 6406/13/2013

Come to Paris, the waiters in the brasseries here work until retirement.

by Anonymousreply 6506/13/2013

Great thread. Not OP, I'm getting a lot of ideas.

You know, the dog-walking thing and pet-sitting is a fine contingency measure if you're good with animals, etc. But you can always do that for walking around money. I'd check out the med tech jobs for sure.

Here's the thing. You have to be very careful about these so called vocational schools that charge you all kinds of money for bullshit classes that can't get you anywhere. They are all hype and they scam people.

The safest place to go is a place with a good reputation and a proven track record in your community, or go to a community college. I was surprised at how many community colleges offer these certificate programs and no Associates degree or other requirements necessary. The tuition at CCs is not too bad either.

I would not advise you to go the Real Estate route unless you have money already. I tried it and it was a disaster. You have fees and dues to pay, you have to pay for your own advertising, office space, continuing education classes, "seminars" etc.

Ridiculous. You're an independent contractor in business for yourself is what it amounts to. The broker make all the money. Unless you have a built in market because your active in some groups, or in the community, and you have relationships with lending institutions and can grab some of the bank owned foreclosure action, you will wither on the vine.

Bartenders make good money depending on where you're located. With training and experience you can become a "mixologist" and rake it in. You know, the guys who set up and fix my cable TV and my internet and the guys who fix furnaces and AC do pretty well too.

by Anonymousreply 6606/13/2013

Anything dealing with old people. There's going to be a huge need as the Boomers get older.

by Anonymousreply 6706/13/2013

This should help.

by Anonymousreply 6806/13/2013

Also, I would recommend Dental Hygenist. Associates Degree and 60K annually.

by Anonymousreply 6906/13/2013

There's a two year radiologist offered. Sonograms and shit like that. I often do programs like this every five years for whatever offers the most stability and dog grooming just ain't it. You'll be able to comfort patients on a daily basis. Hospitals, labs, doctor's offices.

Massage therapy is lucrative to only those who are comfortable in their own skin and this world.

There's also post mort cosmetology. Dieing never goes out of style so there's a career right there.

Check the adult learning centers near you. Their online rosters are mind blowing where I live.

They offer a cosmetic laser course in some states.

The End

by Anonymousreply 7006/13/2013

OP what state are you in? CA and NY are usually tougher than most, regulatory wise, no matter what the field is.

by Anonymousreply 7106/13/2013

Yes, in NY state you can't get a license for cosmetic laser on your own. There is no school for that. You can learn hair lasering with an esthecitian license

by Anonymousreply 7206/13/2013

In CA, you have to be an RN or Dr to do ANY laser, Botox or deep peel.

by Anonymousreply 7306/13/2013

I'm also in the need for a second career, but for different reasons. I actually have a license and work experience in occupational therapy (a great field), but after a car accident I was in last year, I'm not able to do such physically demanding work anymore.

It's soul crushing to have to have all those years of education and training go down the drain by a random accident. I'm not sure what to do next, but it's nice to see so many ideas posted. Good ol' DL.

by Anonymousreply 7406/13/2013

R48, You should change your occupation to motivational speaker.

To all of the other posters, this is an incredibly informative thread.

by Anonymousreply 7506/13/2013

R48 is my hero.

by Anonymousreply 7606/13/2013

R48 sounds like a jealous asshole. So much hostility for someone you never met.

by Anonymousreply 7706/13/2013

r77 nails it.

by Anonymousreply 7806/13/2013

I agree with R77.

WTF R48? I didn't see anything about OP stealing boyfriends, or laughing and pointing, etc. Just because you have been wronged or laughed at doesn't mean you have to hate every good looking guy who had fun in his past. I feel sorry for you, you old, bitter queen.

by Anonymousreply 7906/13/2013

r74 - medical secretary/ admin office worker. You'd be perfect for it since you are already familiar with lots of the jargon.

by Anonymousreply 8006/13/2013

OP, there are NO nursing jobs, and community colleges are churning out far too many nursing graduates.

by Anonymousreply 8106/13/2013

R14 we have G4S officers where I work and it's a revolving door. Is that typical of the industry? I've heard that they underbid for the contract so they cannot pay a very competitive wage.

by Anonymousreply 8206/13/2013

Dog groomers are the carnies of the service world.

by Anonymousreply 8306/13/2013

Working with old people (in their own homes, as a non-medical caregiver) has some issues. Old people with dementia issues can be violent. Also, you can easily be accused of theft. Also, when the family members start getting the bills, the money runs out and the old person is put in a home, leaving you out of work again.

by Anonymousreply 8406/13/2013

I heard the IRS was going to be hiring, because of the implementation of the new healthcare law. Anyone know anything about it?

by Anonymousreply 8506/13/2013

That's a good idea, R80. Thank you :)

by Anonymousreply 8606/13/2013

[quote] OP, there are NO nursing jobs, and community colleges are churning out far too many nursing graduates.

That's sure as hell not true where I live.

Then again, OP probably doesn't want to live where I live.

by Anonymousreply 8706/13/2013

Being born into a wealthy family has worked out nicely for me.

by Anonymousreply 8806/13/2013

Where do you live,R87?

by Anonymousreply 8906/13/2013

r74, I work w/ OTs who specialize in modifying the home environment for elderly people. The OTs just write up the design suggestions: e.g. install grab bars; de-activate the stove (for dementia patients); build a ramp; secure the throw rugs, etc. It's very lucrative. That might work for you. Find an interior designer in your community who is CAPS certified and you also can/should become so yourself.

Hope things work out for you.

by Anonymousreply 9006/13/2013

You're very kind, R90. Thank you for the suggestion. It sounds like a promising idea and I am definitely going to look into it.

by Anonymousreply 9106/13/2013
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