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What should someone be most ashamed of?

I'm really ashamed of the fact that I have no friends and that I'm basically a social reject in a way. I think that's what people are ashamed of the most of having no one by their side and being alone.

by Anonymousreply 6207/03/2013

The should be ashamed of doing evil. Being ashamed of circumstances of life or the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune or aspects of their personality.... all that's just silly.

by Anonymousreply 106/11/2013

Yeah, agree with r2, you should only be ashamed when you don't do the right thing.

by Anonymousreply 206/11/2013

I am ashamed of not lending support to those who needed me when I was young and selfish. I have been making up for it for many years now. It is the only way to make the guilt and shame bearable.

by Anonymousreply 306/11/2013

People should be ashamed when they lack a conscience, but they are not.

by Anonymousreply 406/11/2013

Unless a person is doing something immoral or unethical they should not be ashamed of anything.

One thing I find most annoying about some people is how they are ashamed of where or how they grew up, especially if they grew up poor or in a town that is not seen as an exciting place. I feel very sorry for people like that because where and how you grew up are two of the main forces that made you into the person you are. Unless you're a dirt bag why be embarrassed about it?

by Anonymousreply 506/11/2013

Using ad hominem tactics in a disagreement.

by Anonymousreply 606/11/2013

You should not be ashamed of anything, OP, unless it is for doing something intentionally to hurt another person. We should spend our lives trying to help people, help each other. And if we cannot help them, at least don't hurt them.

We are all human and we are all on this planet together. NO ONE is inherently any "better" than another. Everyone has challenges. If you think someone else has it better than you, just remember the poem by Edwin Arlington Robinson.

Richard Cory

Whenever Richard Cory went down town, We people on the pavement looked at him: He was a gentleman from sole to crown, Clean favored, and imperially slim.

And he was always quietly arrayed, And he was always human when he talked; But still he fluttered pulses when he said, 'Good-morning,' and he glittered when he walked.

And he was rich - yes, richer than a king - And admirably schooled in every grace: In fine, we thought that he was everything To make us wish that we were in his place.

So on we worked, and waited for the light, And went without the meat, and cursed the bread; And Richard Cory, one calm summer night, Went home and put a bullet through his head.

by Anonymousreply 706/11/2013

[quote]NO ONE is inherently any "better" than another

I'm sorry but that's not true at all. There are loads of people I consider myself inherently better than. Rapists, murderers, child molesters, and I could keep going but I don't have the time.

by Anonymousreply 806/11/2013

r8, those are examples of acts. "Inherently" doesn't apply unless you believe those people were following a blueprint from day one and were born murderers, etc.

by Anonymousreply 906/11/2013

Smelly, cheesy foreskin

by Anonymousreply 1006/11/2013

I'm most ashamed of my behavior at the age of 12. I turned on a friend and bullied him for being FMinate.

by Anonymousreply 1206/11/2013

R11. I stand corrected

by Anonymousreply 1306/11/2013

That haircut. I mean, really!

And don't GET me started on those shoes!

by Anonymousreply 1406/11/2013

agree with do something deliberate to cause another person physical or emotional hurt....that is cause for true shame.

by Anonymousreply 1506/11/2013

if it helps, OP, you're not alone; a friend is CONVINCED I started this thread.

by Anonymousreply 1606/11/2013

r16, you have a friend who KNOWS you come here? Shit. I'd be ASHAMED if any of my friends knew I visited this site.

by Anonymousreply 1706/11/2013

I know who you are R16.

by Anonymousreply 1806/11/2013

If my friends read the things I wrote here, I'd be quite ashamed.

by Anonymousreply 1906/11/2013

Categorizing unknown persons into vapid stereotypes, and then flattering yourself with your enlightened perspective.

by Anonymousreply 2006/11/2013

Obviously not R16, since if you have friends you wouldn't be OP.

by Anonymousreply 2106/11/2013

R20 on the other hand, is someone we know a lot about.

by Anonymousreply 2206/11/2013

People should be ashamed of their selfishness. There is extreme selfishness in the US.

by Anonymousreply 2306/11/2013

Ashamed I did not make more of my talents and life.

by Anonymousreply 2406/11/2013

OP, Please don't be ashamed of feeling friendless. I had to learn the hard way that it's better to believe that you have no friends, then to have an emergency and not to be able to rely on those for whom you've done so very much to help in the past. You need to find out how to find reliable, kind, supportive people that will truly be there for you. Good luck.

by Anonymousreply 2506/11/2013

Morbid obesity?

by Anonymousreply 2606/11/2013

"I'm really ashamed of the fact that I have no friends and that I'm basically a social reject in a way." a way? Oh, Sweetie...

by Anonymousreply 2706/11/2013

[r25] Holy shit, man. That's what happened to me. I had alllll these "friends" in my life and the bottom fell out of my world and i was confronted with realization that I only "knew alot of people" but had no "true friends".

3 years ago, I had to move home (45 minutes away) to deal with health problems, and to this day not ONE friend has called, emailed, or texted to see how I was doing! Not one!!! Every thing i thought I knew about my relationships crumbled and disintegrated.

I discovered I made the wrong people important in my life and the people who should have mattered rejected my attempts to reconnect once I moved back. Door after door, slammed in my face. I blew it!!! I officially fucked up my life.

So now, OP, I too have no friends and a distorted view of what a friend is. Not sure how to make new friends at 43 either.

I've learned, don't make "Work friends" your only friends. This was part of my problem. Work was my life, so those were the only people I had time for. Big mistake.

by Anonymousreply 2806/11/2013

You are seriously singing my song r28.

Single, 43, lost my job, which I now realize I put way too much time and energy into, and I am now too old and over educated to get back into the field. I then lost both parents unexpectedly within that same year, basically lost any semblance of a family due to ridiculous in fighting over the handling of my parents estate. And when I most needed them most, people I thought were my real friends were not what they seemed.

It's a harsh reality to face, and you're right, establishing a new friend base in your 40's is not an easy task.

I empathize completely with your situation. It's not an easy one to work though, but have faith. . .hopefully things will turn around for us both.

by Anonymousreply 2906/11/2013

overreacting to receiving a pic of a dic in one's e-mail, cellphone, etc.

by Anonymousreply 3006/11/2013

r28, r29...I had a very similar experience in my own life...I eased the lonliness by getting a dog. While walking my dog, other people with dogs started stopping to talk. Eventually several of us started walking our dogs together. Then we started hanging out. Those new friends introduced me to their friends and so forth. While not the "social circle" I had surrounded myself with in the past, we are truly friends and are there for each other in every sense of the word unlike my aquaintances from the past. Btw...Im 51...

by Anonymousreply 3106/11/2013

Farting & pooping

by Anonymousreply 3206/11/2013

Gambling - throwing thousands of dollars away essentially and feeling like I don't deserve the money I work very hard for.

by Anonymousreply 3306/11/2013

I'm ashamed of not being rich.

by Anonymousreply 3406/11/2013

Omg I'm 45 and friendless as well. We should all hang out together.

by Anonymousreply 3506/11/2013

[quote]I officially fucked up my life.

It looks rather as though life fucked up your life. I don't see why you should blame yourself for the shabby behaviour of other people. The shame is theirs.

R28 and R29 seem to have done all 'the right things' in life, including being too trusting and industrious. Again, no grounds for shame.

Harsh lessons, obviously, but I agree with the cautious optimism of R51. There are decent, similarly burned people out there. Don't let the shameless prevail.

by Anonymousreply 3606/12/2013

Sorry, I meant the cautious optimism of R31, whose age I typed instead.

by Anonymousreply 3706/12/2013

But OP, why be ashamed of having no friends, when you have so many real reasons to be embarrassed?

by Anonymousreply 3806/12/2013

One of the times I dread the most is when I have to have some sort of medical procedure done, and the catty ladies behind the partition in the doc's office say, "you'll need a friend to come with you and drive you home." When I say that I just don't have anyone to do that, they leer at me as if I had just announced I had a raging case of herpes. I cannot tell you how badly I have neglected my health(body and teeth) just because I can't bear to go through the embarrassment. The weird thing is I don't mind being alone, and I seldom if ever desire human companionship, but I am getting older(50) and I may need to hire one of those "Granny Nannies" people to help me get caught up on the things I need done. Good luck to you OP. If I could, I would tell you to give me a holler if you need someone to talk to...but then I guess that's what DL is for!!

by Anonymousreply 3906/12/2013

OP, you should be ashamed of posting your whiny, self-pitying, sub-adult drivel on the DL - over and over and over and over and over.

My god, it's tedious. STOP.

The dumb frauen you get to sympathize and pay attention to you would be much more plentiful somewhere else. Go there.

by Anonymousreply 4106/12/2013

One specific Canadian person should be very ashamed of claiming his one in a million charmed life was miserably hard for that one year. I was there. I know it wasn't hard and he was never happier.

by Anonymousreply 4206/14/2013

R39 I feel you.

I was at the docs yesterday, and had to fill out some new paperwork. I filled out the emergency contact (family member) but in the "who can we discuss your condition with" section blank. The receptionist, called out loudly as I sat in the waiting room "You left who we can talk to section blank, don't you have anyone for this section"

I just stared at her. I'm single, and it's times like these that I am all to aware of it. I just said "use the family member contact"

I'm only 37 but in a newish area with not many/any real friends here, let alone a partner.

And honestly if I didn't have anyone to put in the family member section I would have no one to pick me up from surgery. Not a soul. It worries me.

I wonder if they have services for these kinds of things. Even for outpatient surgery, if you undergo any form of anesthesia, you need to have someone pick you up for the hospital or doc office.

by Anonymousreply 4306/14/2013

They aren't going to stop you if you walk out R43. That would be kidnapping.

by Anonymousreply 4406/14/2013

You should be ashamed of the hatred of minorities and women you are spewing here.

by Anonymousreply 4506/14/2013

I checked my damn self out of the hospital after surgery. The nurse hens clucked and judged, but I did it unapologetically and as R44 said they can't stop a person from leaving. They just make it seem like you MUST have someone with you but it's not a law.

by Anonymousreply 4606/14/2013

r43, you can call the discharge planner (usually a social worker) at the hospital if you need someone to ever help you get home. Or,if necessary, you can go into subacute care until you're ready to take care of yourself.

by Anonymousreply 4706/14/2013

Everyone should be ashamed of voting Republican.

by Anonymousreply 4806/14/2013

Everyone should be ashamed of voting. Suckerz

by Anonymousreply 4906/14/2013

[r39] and [r43] I had to go Mayo Clinic in Minnesota from california three years ago. (fascinating place; very Orwellian). I had no one to accompany me. I have a sister but she's a single parent. So, off I went, for 8 days.

In the paperwork it states "do not come alone, bring a family member or friend". The theory behind it is, a second set of ears helps to remember what the doctors say, and a second brain may think of questions you wouldn't think of. Also, they may have devastating news and who wants to be all alone to process it. For me, it was a time in my life that I WISHED to god I was better at picking/keeping friends. As I sat in hospital beds, all I could do is obsess about my shitty life.

But back to you two--- there ARE companies that offer care after surgeries and such. It's call Companion Care. Or Occupational Care. It's 20 dollars an hour.-- four hour minimum. They'll take you to doctors appointments or grocery shopping. they'll do light housekeeping, etc. I used them for my mom when I lived in another city.

by Anonymousreply 5006/15/2013

Does a hit and run count? I don't think the lady made it.

by Anonymousreply 5106/15/2013

more than 3 nominations without a win

by Anonymousreply 5206/15/2013

I am ashamed that I keep rolling over my penis with my desk chair.

by Anonymousreply 5307/03/2013

There was a previous thread about us friendless folks (actually, I have one friend, though he lives far away). In my case, I "dropped out" as it were several years ago, and now can't get "back in" to re-start my life. I'm sometimes ashamed that I haven't accomplished much in life; I was a perpetual student for quite a while.

by Anonymousreply 5407/03/2013



by Anonymousreply 5507/03/2013

R41 You should be ashamed of your entire existence--you are clearly a callous, nasty cunt. Your day will come.

OP, I think we as a culture have become more "friendless," in the most authentic sense of the word, real friends being replaced, because it's easier by "virtual friends." I also think, once you are out of college, it becomes more and more difficult to find and make new friends, and we become more cautious about doing so. I have a partner, but, beyond that, only friends from work (and a few scattered friends at long distances from previous jobs and school)--I am having outpatient surgery in a few weeks, and my partner will be there to take me home--but he leaves for a conference in Italy the next day. I'm not concerned about being alone during that time (I'll be on paid meds and miserable, so being alone with the cats watching TCM and sleeping is probably the best thing anyway), but it hit me that, if the timing had worked out differently by a day, I would have to ask a work friend to drive and pick me up, and it would feel like an imposition--I know a couple people who would do it and gladly, but it would still feel like an imposition.

by Anonymousreply 5607/03/2013

R56, I understand what you are saying, but your situation with having a partner in life is radically a million miles away from a person who has no partner and is alone in life without a close friend or friends.

There is not even a comparison with living life with a partner and living life without a partner and without friends.

Every aspect in life is extremely different from your situation with a partner and the partnerless friendless existence of others.

What you do say that is true and helpful though is explaining that we as a culture have become more 'friendless'. I believe that is true and there have been both scholarly articles and popular articles written about how more and more people in the U.S. are without close friends and/or without any friends.

by Anonymousreply 5707/03/2013

Cruelty, especially to a child, or a pet/animal.

Voting for Republicans, or not voting at all.

Treating service people like crap.

I have zero use for anyone like this.

by Anonymousreply 5807/03/2013

R57. Oh, I know they are not comparable--but it just remind me many of us are one person away from being totally isolated socially. Since my partner is 20 years my senior and I will probably retire in 5 years when I am 60 and he is 80, these issues are on my mind, too.

by Anonymousreply 5907/03/2013

That's by design R57. Lonely people can't organize for higher wages or political change. They want all of us divided from each other.

by Anonymousreply 6007/03/2013

Nothing in particular comes to mind.

by Anonymousreply 6107/03/2013

Those horrible lesbians who scolded one of their invited guests for not giving them a nice enough gift.

by Anonymousreply 6207/03/2013
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