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Steve Holt!

Tobias: Well, Michael, you really are quite the Cupid, aren’t you? I tell you, you can sink your arrow into my buttocks any time.

Michael: Okay, you know what you do? You buy yourself a tape recorder, you just record yourself for a whole day. I think you’re going to be surprised at some of your phrasing.

by Tobias Funkereply 8705/28/2013

"I'm afraid I just blue myself."

by Tobias Funkereply 105/23/2013

Maeby: Do you guys know where I can get one of those gold necklaces with a “T” on it?

Michael: That’s a cross.

Maeby: Across from where?

by Tobias Funkereply 205/24/2013

"Loose seal! Loose seal!"

by Tobias Funkereply 305/24/2013

"I know you wanted the elephant brooch, but I didn't want to invite the comparison."

by Tobias Funkereply 405/24/2013

"Why you dirty little country western singing star!"

by Tobias Funkereply 505/24/2013

"If I could give a performance that good I'd have my own Alias type show."

by Tobias Funkereply 605/24/2013

Lindsay: Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough.

Lucille: Not as much as you enjoyed yours. You want your belt to buckle, not your chair.

by Tobias Funkereply 705/24/2013

"Michael, look what the homosexuals have done to me!"

by Tobias Funkereply 805/24/2013

Tobias Fünke: Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist.

by Tobias Funkereply 905/24/2013

'Maebe': [noticing Tobias dressed in all leather] Didnt you get a job or something?

Tobias: No, no I didnt. Unless... you consider "World's Coolest Daddy" a job.

by Tobias Funkereply 1005/24/2013

Maybe I'll put it in her brownie.

by Tobias Funkereply 1105/24/2013

Michael (to Gob): Get rid of the Seaward.

Lucille: I'll leave when I'm good and ready!

by Tobias Funkereply 1205/24/2013

Lucille: Michael! What a surprise!

Michael Bluth: Really? Were you expecting someone else? Maybe one of your... two daughters?

Lucille: Oh Lindsay and Tobias never visit [laughs]

Lucille: Oh we're so bad.

Michael Bluth: I meant Lindsay and Nellie.

Lucille: You call him that too? It's so great to be able to talk like this!

by Tobias Funkereply 1305/24/2013

Lucille: Luz, that coat cost more than your house! Oh, that’s how we joke. She doesn’t even have a house.

by Tobias Funkereply 1405/24/2013

Michael: (referring the to boat Gob bought) Get rid of the Seaward.

Lucille: I'll leave when I'm good and ready.

by Tobias Funkereply 1505/24/2013

Michael (to Gob): Get rid of the Seaward.

Lucille: I'll leave when I'm good and ready!

by Tobias Funkereply 1605/24/2013

Lucille: Get me a vodka rocks.

Michael: Mom, it's breakfast.

Lucille: And a piece of toast.

by Tobias Funkereply 1705/24/2013

Michael (to Gob): Get rid of the Seaward.

Lucille: I'll leave when I'm good and ready!

by Tobias Funkereply 1805/24/2013

Lucille: I have a plan to stave off intruders.

Michael: What's that?

Lucille: [holds up an air horn and a fire poker] First I blow him then I poke him.

Michael: [stunned] Guy doesn't know what he's in for.

by Tobias Funkereply 1905/24/2013

Jessie: Your father's religious now? We'll play that up. It's very sympathetic.

Lucille: Yeah. Who doesn't love the Jews?

by Tobias Funkereply 2005/24/2013

Lucille: I'll have the Ike and Tina tuna.

Waitress: Plate or platter?

Lucille: I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it.

by Tobias Funkereply 2105/24/2013

I't just Not. Funny.

by Tobias Funkereply 2205/24/2013

Everything they do is so flamboyant, and dramatic, it just makes me want to . . . set myself on fire!

by Tobias Funkereply 2305/24/2013

Narrator: Soon, George Michael went to Ann's to try to win her back. But her Uncle Paul told him that Ann had moved in with her boyfriend. He also mentioned that we all only had 3 more weeks on earth and that fossils were just something the Jews buried in 1924.

by Tobias Funkereply 2405/24/2013

Michael: So, you just finished off the bottle? Lindsay: Well, I had to. It's vodka, you know. It goes bad once it's opened. Michael: I think that's another one of mum's little fibs. You know, like, I'll sacrifice anything for my children.

by Tobias Funkereply 2505/24/2013

Michael (to Gob): Get rid of the Seaward.

Lucille: I'll leave when I'm good and ready!

by Tobias Funkereply 2605/24/2013


by Tobias Funkereply 2705/24/2013

Lindsay: Well, you know, maybe I would be more attracted to you if you were in better shape. You know, if you were just more muscular and masculine. Does that make me shallow? Tobias: No. I was going to say the same thing to you.

by Tobias Funkereply 2805/24/2013

Does anyone remember the joke about the boat? C word or something?

by Tobias Funkereply 2905/24/2013

Lucille: I'll be in the hospital bar.

Michael: Uh, you know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother.

Lucille: Well, this is why people hate hospitals.

by Tobias Funkereply 3005/24/2013

Tobias: Although, perhaps I should call the 'hot cops' and tell them to come up with something more nautically themed ... 'HOT sailors' ... or 'HOT sea-men'.

Michael: I like 'HOT sailors'.

Tobias: Me, too ...

by Tobias Funkereply 3105/24/2013

Lucille: (to the hot sailors) You boys know how to shovel coal?

Narrator: I don't even want to tell you what these guys thought that meant.

by Tobias Funkereply 3205/24/2013

Lucille: Aaahhh! Gene!!

by Tobias Funkereply 3305/24/2013

What took you long, R22?

Anyway, looking forward to the show coming back.

by Tobias Funkereply 3405/24/2013

Tobias: Oh, come on. Don't leave your Uncle T-Bag hanging!

George Michael: Please don't call yourself that.

by Tobias Funkereply 3505/24/2013

[quote]Does anyone remember the joke about the boat? C word or something?

See R12. My all time favorite line from AD.

by Tobias Funkereply 3605/24/2013

Bob: Actually, I was going to stay in my office tonight and work on my law blog. Tobias: Of course ... the "Bob Loblaw Law Blog." Wow. You, sir, are a mouthful!

by Tobias Funkereply 3705/24/2013

Steve Holt: Maybe we should work together. I mean, we don't even know the recipe. George Michael: Oh, there's no recipe. You just freeze the bananas, and then stick it in the -- (Michael stops him) Steve Holt: Stick it in the what? Stick it in the WHAT?

by Tobias Funkereply 3805/24/2013

The brilliance of Arrested Development is that as brilliant as the dialogue is, the visual humor is just as brilliant and abundant.

by Tobias Funkereply 3905/24/2013

Tobias: She's a girl, I need to teach her how to be a woman. Within her lies a queen. Let me out that queen. Michael: Yeah, I think you just did.

by Tobias Funkereply 4005/24/2013

I just watched it again recently (to warm up for the new season) and as many great lines as there are, I was really appreciating some of the little moments where the actors were just so great.

Like when they left Ann in Mexico (who?) and when Michael realized it and they took the stair car (you'll get hop-ons) back to find her - there is just a quick shot of George Michael's face and he so completely conveys a perfect mixture of anger and anxiety.

Another one was when Buster is in the hospital after losing his hand, Michael is surprised that he keeps making these black humored jokes about it. Michael eventually decides to join in and tries one himself.

The way Buster does this slow rise of anger "Get ... him ... out of here --" was unexpected and hilarious.

One of the best cast shows ever. A great group to do justice to the magnificent writing.

by Tobias Funkereply 4105/24/2013


by Tobias Funkereply 4205/24/2013

Great points R41 !

by Tobias Funkereply 4305/24/2013

I love juuuuice!

by Tobias Funkereply 4405/24/2013

Check out banner, Michael!

by Tobias Funkereply 4505/24/2013

Michael (to Gob): Get rid of the Seaward.

Lucille: I'll leave when I'm good and ready!

by Tobias Funkereply 4605/24/2013

Lucille: "I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense."

by Tobias Funkereply 4705/24/2013

I don’t want no part of yo’ tight-ass country club, ya freak bitch!

by Tobias Funkereply 4805/24/2013

Michael: (into the phone) Really? And all the guys like her, huh? That is - that is - that is great. Uh, you mean "away," though, right? Because, otherwise, it sounds a little different, but, uh, that's, uh, that's outstanding. You forgot to say "away" again. But listen, let me call you back in a bit, ok? Bye. (to Lindsay) Nellie has blown them all away.

by Tobias Funkereply 4905/24/2013

Lucille- Get me a vodka rocks.

Michael- Mom, it's breakfast.

Lucille- (with a hateful tone) And a piece of toast.

by Tobias Funkereply 5005/24/2013

I like this clip from the new season.

by Tobias Funkereply 5105/25/2013

Maeby: Oh, hey, Michael. My dad wanted me to thank you for the romantic getaway. Don’t tell me what that means.

Michael: Where is your dad?

Maeby: He left dressed all "westerny." You can leave me out of that part, too.

Narrator: And Michael realized that perhaps somebody would get hurt.

Michael: I screwed my brother-in-law.

Maeby: Well, I’m all grown up now.

by Tobias Funkereply 5205/25/2013

[quote]Does anyone remember the joke about the boat? C word or something?


by Tobias Funkereply 5305/25/2013

[quote]Lucille: (to the hot sailors) You boys know how to shovel coal? Narrator: I don't even want to tell you what these guys thought that meant.

I don't get it.

by Tobias Funkereply 5405/25/2013

My favorite moment in the series isn't even a line. It's the way Lucille narrows her eyes and slowly closes the door in GOB's face after he asks her to hang out.

I hope season 4 live up to the expectations.

by Tobias Funkereply 5505/25/2013


by Tobias Funkereply 5605/25/2013

Lindsay: Hi, mom! Good news, I have the entire afternoon free.

Lucille: Oh really? Did "nothing" cancel?

by Tobias Funkereply 5705/25/2013

Michael: It is going to up in Tahoe a couple more days. Maybe you could take a date

Lucille: How am I supposed to find someone willing to go into that musty old claptrap?

Michael: [Michael stares at her awkwardly] The cabin... yes! That would be difficult, too.

by Tobias Funkereply 5805/25/2013

My favorite part of the show are the sight gags that often refer back may episodes, like the little smudges of blue paint that would appear on things for half a season after Tobias decided he was a Blue Man.

by Tobias Funkereply 5905/25/2013

Michael (to Gob): Get rid of the Seaward.

Lucille: I'll leave when I'm good and ready!

by Tobias Funkereply 6005/25/2013


by Tobias Funkereply 6105/25/2013

You baited the balcony?

by Tobias Funkereply 6205/25/2013

First I..blow him, and then I poke him.

Lucille will always have the best lines because no one can deliver them like Jessica Walter.

The one that I use all the time....

"I don't know what that is and I don't care to find out."

by Tobias Funkereply 6305/25/2013

I love R58's. That pause where Michael figures it out is priceless. Bateman's deadpan is tremendous.

by Tobias Funkereply 6405/25/2013

Oh, GOB, you could charm the black off a telegram boy!

by Tobias Funkereply 6505/25/2013

Michael: My mom is very stressed out, and uh, she needs something that I can't give her, um... maybe a little afternoon delight? Narrator: Oscar thought that Michael was referring to a particular brand of cannabis named Afternoon Delight, a strand famous for slowing behavior. Oscar: Well, sure, the question is: Which way do I try to get it in her? Michael: I don't need any details. Oscar: Maybe I'll put it in her brownie. Michael: Hey!

by Tobias Funkereply 6605/25/2013


by Tobias Funkereply 6705/25/2013

You want your belt to buckle, not your chair.

by Tobias Funkereply 6805/25/2013

Even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up.

by Tobias Funkereply 6905/26/2013

Another Lucille: (Preparing for sex in the conjugal trailer) "I would cry, but I can't spare the moisture."

by Tobias Funkereply 7005/26/2013

What was the joke involving the name of a boat, and Lucille thinking it was an insult directed at her?

by Tobias Funkereply 7105/26/2013

"Go home you terrorist! Your not wanted here!"

- GOB to a brown person and high school presidential candidate running against George Michael

by Tobias Funkereply 7205/26/2013

Oh, I can just taste those meaty, leading man parts in my mouth!

by Tobias Funkereply 7305/26/2013


by Tobias Funkereply 7405/26/2013

"And say goodbye to ... THESE!!"

by Tobias Funkereply 7505/26/2013


by Tobias Funkereply 7605/26/2013

Lucille to Michael: "Everyone's laughing and riding and cornholing except Buster."

by Tobias Funkereply 7705/27/2013


by Tobias Funkereply 7805/27/2013

Michael (to Gob): Get rid of the Seaward.

Cheryl: Editor! Delete this thread!

by Tobias Funkereply 7905/27/2013

Michael (to Gob): Get rid of the Seaward.

Lucille: Your misogyny is killing us.

by Tobias Funkereply 8005/27/2013

Tobias: earrings caftans

by Tobias Funkereply 8105/27/2013

Tobias (as Mrs. Featherbottom): Okay, who'd like a banger in the mouth? Oh, right. I forgot. Here in the States, you call it a sausage in the mouth.

Michael: We just call it a sausage.

by Tobias Funkereply 8205/27/2013


by Tobias Funkereply 8305/27/2013

Maeby: Mr. Fingerbottom?

Tobias: Missus.

Maeby: Right, missus.

by Tobias Funkereply 8405/27/2013


by Tobias Funkereply 8505/28/2013

"So I figured who better to help us build a wall than the Chinese, right?"

by Tobias Funkereply 8605/28/2013


by Tobias Funkereply 8705/28/2013
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