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Does anyone else do this?

When I go about my chores like washing dishes, cooking etc...I play a lot of traumatising moments that happened the last few years in my mind. I'll even go back as far as 9 years ago. It's happening to me lately and I think it's because I'm on vacation and my mind wanders. During work, I don't think about it, but these flashbacks hit me hard whenever I take a break. I think it's my mind's way of taking out the trash, but I wonder when it will be done doing it. The past 9 years have been traumatic for me, one failure after another without letting up and escalating even.

by Anonymousreply 4506/03/2013

This happens to me also. It must be regret.

by Anonymousreply 105/20/2013

Yes, but I remember good things, too, from the past.

by Anonymousreply 205/20/2013

You've just described me, and I'm a little spooked.

by Anonymousreply 305/20/2013

They're called intrusive thoughts. You sound like you need therapy.

by Anonymousreply 405/20/2013

This happens to me too, OP.

by Anonymousreply 505/20/2013

Your brain is like a computer, and when you think of these memories it's like opening a folder on your computer. Every time you do it, the content changes.

by Anonymousreply 605/20/2013

I do that as well OP, and I also, because I became so used to terrible things happening in my life, I also think about future disastrous events (losing my husband in a car accident, walking to work and seeing my office building explode or collapse in an earthquake). I have at least developed a coping mechanism where, after I start thinking these future thoughts, I tell myself that it's ok, they are only going to stay trapped inside my head, they won't ever happen in the real world.

Sometimes you just have to figure out a way to make things a bit better.

by Anonymousreply 705/20/2013

Very common in people with OCD.

by Anonymousreply 805/20/2013

I thought dreaming was taking out the trash...

by Anonymousreply 905/20/2013

I relive embarrassing moments and things I've said stupidly and I will verbally just "ACCKKK!" out loud.

I swear my neighbors think I'm crazy.

by Anonymousreply 1005/20/2013

Yep. You're not alone, OP. I've gotten much better at catching myself when I'm doing it though. It can be done.

by Anonymousreply 1105/20/2013

You are ruminating. A hallmark of GAD. Get a script for Xanax. Don't abuse, use as prescribed. It helps tremendously. Those thoughts can disrupt your life and ultimately lead to depression.

by Anonymousreply 1205/20/2013

Me too, OP. My thoughts go back 30 years to when my life crossed the path of a psychopath. I should get therapy, I think I have PTSD.

r10, I do that too. Especially if I said something stupid or something mean to someone.

I retired last Monday. It will be interesting to see if these thoughts go away now or if they get worse.

by Anonymousreply 1305/20/2013

I'm yet another one who deals with what you describe a lot OP. I happen to also be Bipolar 2, but I don't think there's a connection, so I'm not suggesting you are that as well or anything. I think it's a pretty much universal experience where unfinished business or yes, regret, as someone said, is concerned. I find taking time to let myself think about the issues that come up in my mind works better to help me not randomly keep thinking about this stuff. It's not really meditation or prayer that I do, but sort of to allay and reason with my fearful, regretful, guilty, angry, resentful or other feelings that relate to these memories.

by Anonymousreply 1405/20/2013

I save all those thoughts for bedtime.

by Anonymousreply 1505/20/2013

OP - Doing chores is a good time for the mind to process things. But if you are only going over bad things, then you're probably not doing yourself much good - it's a bit like continually picking the top off a scab.

As R11 says, you need to catch yourself doing it. Then you can deliberately change your thinking to something that is pleasant or useful or positive.

by Anonymousreply 1605/20/2013

R15 That's the worst! I can never go to sleep once I get caught up in those thoughts. AND it happens to me. A lot.

by Anonymousreply 1705/21/2013

People with low self esteem worry a lot about how they are perceived by others. They worry about mistakes they've made and about bad experiences. It could be a way of trying to prevent similar situations from happening again.

It comes from not having dealt with these earlier expeinces. You expect it to happen again so the mind sends out reminders. It's best to resist imagining worst case scenarios and to tell yourself that the past is over and that the bad things might not happen again.

Forgive yourself for the mistakes you made. No one from your past is thinking about these awful experiences so neither should you. Move on.

by Anonymousreply 1805/21/2013

Absolutely R8. Happens to me all the time and I've been on Zoloft for quite a while. I literally have to say "Please Stop" out loud to myself to make it stop because saying it internally doesn‘t work. I feel weird and creepy, but that's life I guess

by Anonymousreply 1905/21/2013


OCD and bipolar often go together. For me, medication helped with both problems.

Sounds like OP should see a psychiatrist of clinical psychologist for an evaluation. If thought patterns are interfering with typical activities, it is a very common situation and the professionals can help.

by Anonymousreply 2005/21/2013

This isn't a medical opinion but I'd say you're going through depression or on your road there.

And I get that too on bad days.

by Anonymousreply 2105/21/2013


That's right. All those things, OCD, bipolar, and depression are often found together and the same drugs help with all three.

by Anonymousreply 2205/21/2013

Fuck off R18, we are not morons. We don't need to forgive ourselves for going through traumatic experiences, especially when these were inflicted to us by those who should be seeking any kind of mental peace. Living the consequences of traumatic experience is not akin to "mistakes". And "mistakes" are life. Save your condescending speeches for those who still follow you around.

To all the others who have been posting here, and to OP: it takes a lot of focus to force those thoughts out and bring in positive, useful thinking into projects that are worthwhile.

I usually try to learn something new or I plan holidays that I don't necessarily take, well in advance. As I love planning this is a very good tool.

by Anonymousreply 2305/21/2013

No, I don't.

Obviously from the replies above your situation is not unique, but I wouldn't stop at taking comfort at that. You may not be alone, but it's no state to be in and, more importantly, it's not a life sentence. It may take some effort and false steps to get on the right track, but consider it a medical issue and a priority and look to remedy or control the problem. There's no reason to live under that kind of cloud and think it's simply your fate.

by Anonymousreply 2405/21/2013

Is this sort of like when you wake up in the middle of the night and start having thoughts of doom and gloom? That happens to me a lot, but everything looks better in the morning for some reason.

by Anonymousreply 2505/21/2013

Everything looks better when I finally manage to get some decent sleep.

by Anonymousreply 2605/21/2013

I do this too, but I suspect that I have aspbergers. I relive every stupid thing that I have ever said to anyone. I can still see the looks on people's I have three heads or something. If I were a 'normal' person (I hate loud noise) I would listen to music or turn the tv on while cleaning. I think that the distraction would be good for most people who get caught up in their own heads.

by Anonymousreply 2705/21/2013

I don't know if this is the same for other people, but the more time I spend alone, the more I tend to relieve small exchanges during the day.

This doesn't happen when I have plenty of exchanges with plenty of people.

I'd say social isolation makes anyone more socially awkward, and being socially awkward brings about social isolation. It's a conundrum.

by Anonymousreply 2805/21/2013

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can help you learn to shut down and redirect thoughts to more positive things.

by Anonymousreply 2905/21/2013

I listen to audiobooks when doing chores.

by Anonymousreply 3005/21/2013


You are quite the charmer. No coffee yet?

by Anonymousreply 3105/21/2013

Me too sometimes. I actually hate any kind of housework for this reason and have to make sure I've got the radio on, or am listening to a podcast or talking to someone on the phone - just to stop my mind from wandering to unpleasant things from the past that there is no practical reason to think about anymore.

I do experience "melancholic" mood swings. When I'm like this I'm especially careful to make sure there is something to divert my mind.

by Anonymousreply 3205/21/2013

R23 there is no need to be so aggressive about R18. What R18 said makes sense to me and is worth saying, though I'm not sure that it applies to the OP. The OP's issues seem to be more trauma related, rather than to do with self esteem (or maybe it's both?).

by Anonymousreply 3305/21/2013

When I find myself dwelling on past events, I literally tell myself "Knock it off!"

by Anonymousreply 3405/21/2013

Yes. When I'm folding laundry....I replay 40-plus years of unpleasant thoughts. Ironing too. I have to do both while watching television.

It doesn't happen at work, while running errands, doing fun stuff or even while doing other housework. Just laundry related stuff.

by Anonymousreply 3505/21/2013

I am like this constantly. I live with my past, with regrets, and bad decisions, with "what if's" and analyzing choices that I wonder if they potentially ruined my life. However they stay in the back of my mind, and I lead a normal day to day. I still need therapy and drugs.

by Anonymousreply 3605/21/2013

After about 2 years off the Xanax, I do believe that I'm ready to start another addiction cycle. Was able to titre off last time pretty well. But I swear if I don't get back on them, I'm going to drink myself to death. Getting too old for this shit.

by Anonymousreply 3705/21/2013

Oh, dear. Yes, a bit of therapy and maybe some anti-anxiety meds, short-term. You ARE ruminating. And it's too bad when it happens at a time when you are supposed to be getting a break/vacationing. Yes, taking out the trash is a good way of describing it, but after 9 years, maybe it's time to talk it out with someone safe and really get rid of the junk. All the best!

by Anonymousreply 3805/21/2013

Ugh. I struggle with this two. Someone I knew died recently and we had left thing on bad-ish terms. Now I'm recycling conversations I've had with that person TWELVE YEARS AGO wishing I had said that or wishing I hadn't said this. It's ridiculous but I suppose it'll blow over sooner or later. Closure is hard to find sometimes.

by Anonymousreply 3905/21/2013

I do it too. I have a 19 block walk to work (I live in Manhattan) and the entire time I walk the intrusive thoughts come into my head. Sometimes the memories are so bad, I find putting my hand to my forehead and eyes for a moment helps. Something about the touch of the hand brings me back, it's almost like my body then remembers it is in the physical present. Almost like a step into mindfulness. I try to push thoughts out, I'm usually successful especially when I remind myself that I could be spending the time I worry about the past on something worthwhile in the present. Ativan helps, although I only take it as needed when I'm horribly stressed out.

by Anonymousreply 4005/21/2013

Do you hear this when it starts: "ta-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa"?

by Anonymousreply 4105/21/2013

How do you take Xanax during the day? You can't drive while on it, right?

by Anonymousreply 4205/22/2013

You would all be well served by hiring housekeepers.

by Anonymousreply 4305/22/2013

Gosh, I can't remember any conversations I've had in the last ten years. But push the bar back to twenty or thirty and I think of those all the time. But nothing previous to that, really. I don't go back all the way to high school.

by Anonymousreply 4405/22/2013

Is there a solution to this without medication?

by Anonymousreply 4506/03/2013
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