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Have you ever come on to a person you knew to be straight?


by Anonymousreply 6905/19/2013

No although several of them thought that I perceived them as straight and were mystified and offended that I did not.

by Anonymousreply 105/15/2013

Yes, because I am straight and know a few straight men who like to get it on occasionally.

by Anonymousreply 205/15/2013


R2, you are not straight if you sleep with men. You are bisexual.

by Anonymousreply 305/15/2013

Actually, R3, I don't sleep with women at all so I'm not a bisexual. Just a straight man, or I guess one might calle me a g0y because I am attracted to men.

I am very masculine, like sports, hate to shop, etc.

by Anonymousreply 405/15/2013

Yes, while drunk and in college. I have to say he handled it very well (this was 1991ish), said he was flattered but that he just wasn't "that way" (not sure of the exact words). He already knew I was gay and never had any awkwardness because of it, but I have no idea what made me come onto him (besides me being drunk and him being pretty cute). I had no reason to suspect he was gay and didn't even have any real feelings for him. We remained friends but never discussed it. Now I see him on Facebook, he's married with a pretty wife and two adorable daughters, but MY GOD did he lose his looks. Oh well. Still a nice guy.

by Anonymousreply 505/15/2013

Yes and ended up sucking his cock for two years. Never anything more.

by Anonymousreply 605/15/2013

R2/4, seek help. Gay = same-sex attraction. It does not mean you like shopping or hate sports.

You are gay.

You are also hardly the only masculine gay man who likes sports. That you think you are, or that you think these attributes are even noteworthy at all, only reveals your ownignorance, naïveté and ugly prejudices.

You are also a self-loathing coward.

by Anonymousreply 705/15/2013

I never said I'm the only man who likes men who is masculine, likes sports, hates to shop, etc. But any man like myself is not gay. They're g0y.

What kind of self-respecting man uses the term, mussy? That is self-loathing.

by Anonymousreply 805/15/2013

Thanks, r7. Fuck there are some absurd people on this site.

by Anonymousreply 905/15/2013

Yes. A few times. In college, I had at least three trysts with different "straight" men. I am so interested in a "straight" man currently. I am also in a LTR and don't have sex very often.

by Anonymousreply 1005/15/2013

I know there was a thread here recently about posting about misreading thread titles and how lame that is - but I honestly read this one as "Have you ever come on a person you knew to be straight?" and cracked myself up.

by Anonymousreply 1105/15/2013

R8 R2 R4, where did R7 use the word "mussy" (which I never heard pre-DL, and which disturbs me, too)?

Regardless, if you're attracted to men, and you're not attracted to women, you [italic]are[/italic] gay.

There's no such thing as "gay with a zero instead of an 'a' as the second letter," no matter how much a few fools will try to convince you otherwise. It's just "gay." With an "a" in the middle.

by Anonymousreply 1205/15/2013

Yes. Because most of the time, really, really hot guys are at least a little bit gay.

by Anonymousreply 1305/15/2013

Yes and the majority said yes. Experiencing homosexual sex with straight men is always interesting. But I never thought they were gay or bisexual. One experience does not make you gay.

by Anonymousreply 1405/15/2013

Yes, but only when they already seemed overly charmed by me. I take that as a sign to proceed as normal. It works.

By the way, no matter what your favorite sport or brand of jeans is, if you are a man that loves the pole and never the hole, you are gay.

by Anonymousreply 1505/15/2013

pole - hole = gay

by Anonymousreply 1605/15/2013

Yes. Involved with one currently. Her husband knows and doesn't care. I'm a lesbian. It's been exciting but I know it's just for fun. I think she is surprised by how turned on she is getting and how much she likes it.

by Anonymousreply 1705/15/2013

Now and again I have. I also flirt with straight men.

by Anonymousreply 1805/15/2013

R4 = g0y parody troll

by Anonymousreply 1905/15/2013

R2/R4 is obviously trying to troll people. Can't believe people are actually falling for it.

And I try not to but yes I have before, usually drunk.

I jokingly flirt with straight dudes often, but that is a different question.

by Anonymousreply 2005/15/2013

Yes and I have never done it again and pretty much didn't approach anyone for like 2 years after that.

I really really misread signals from a work friend. I really thought it was flirting, and convinced myself that he just wasn't out at work.

God it's so stupid looking time I bought him a soda at the deli and he tried to give me money and took my hand and put money in it and closed my hand and I thought that it was just an excuse to touch me. I was acting like a high school girl or something. I was basing it on someone trying to pay me back!

So I took that plus the fact that he invited me to see his sister's band play. We were both going to the same station, him getting on the A train and me on the F on the same platform and I actually had practiced in my head and blurted out, "I am crazy about you! I just wanted you to know it!"

He blinked a few times and handled it well by just mentioning that it was nice but oh well it would never work. He was always nice at work but never invited me out again.

So have a laugh at my expense, everyone! I actually thought an accidental touch and an invite to a coworker meant I could reverse heterosexuality! :)

by Anonymousreply 2105/15/2013

No. Not worth it- at all. Any anyone who has same sex with a "straight" person- well- is having sex with a bisexual or homosexual.

(But then say these things out loud wrecks the fantasy.)

by Anonymousreply 2205/15/2013

Only in a few circumstances when the person gave me signs that they noticed me in that way. I have a straight close bro friend that originally flirted with me just to see if I was into dudes. After we got to know each other, we stopped flirting. I sometimes flirt with another straight friend, but it is just part of our playful relationship. Otherwise, I don't flirt with straight-identified dudes unless they initiate it with me, and even then, I am reserved in responding.

by Anonymousreply 2305/15/2013

Yes, twice. Both times the friendship ended. Big regrets on my part.

by Anonymousreply 2405/15/2013

In the 80's I discovered no one is straight when there's an ounce of coke on the table! Also,MANY married men have wanted sex from me at various jobs I've had. It always made me think they spend time thinking about it. It was always the same. Once they knew I was gay(out all my life,55 now) they try to accidentally be in the same place to start the slow build up(sometimes months!) to the deed. Sometimes urinal flashing and blow-jobs in the restroom. Seriously,the only straight guys that aren't do-able are the ones with no sex drive(for whatever reason), and overtly anti-gay men. Who, as we know are usually latently homosexual themselves(and usually violent!)

by Anonymousreply 2505/15/2013

"I have a straight close bro friend that originally flirted with me just to see if I was into dudes."

I hate straight guys like this... As if gay men were simply a game for their egos.

by Anonymousreply 2605/15/2013

I agree with r25...I don't know about the cock stuff, but I've had many many married guys try to seduce me.

by Anonymousreply 2705/15/2013

Yes and they thought they were straight too...

Until we fucked.

by Anonymousreply 2805/15/2013

My approach is that the subject of sex is not dependent on a guy's opening gambit. Once I've spent some time with him, I usually have a sense if sex is a possibility - that is, if I find him sexually appealing. And then I talk about it.

I believe in discretion, and am not a bothersome or offputting person. But to me there's no reason to let a chance for a mutually pleasant experience go without seeing.

So, if the question is, "Have you ever come on to a person you knew to be 100% uninterested?" the answer is no.

If the question is, "Have you ever come on to a person who said he was straight, who lives a primarily straight life, or who has (as far as I know) no previous sexual experience with men?" the answer is yes. Frequently.

by Anonymousreply 2905/15/2013

I think everyone, or almost everyone has what might be called 'bisexual potential'. Although alot of people might not ever realize that potential, or have great resistance to doing so. The amount of resistance, and the percentage of people who tap into such potential ranges wildly from person to person, and from one cultural time and place to another. Not all sexual acts have to stem from ones 'sexual orientation' per se(although most very likely will.)

Having said that, there's no flatout answer as to whether it's a good idea or not to 'come on to a person you know to be straight', you could screw up a friendship and make everything awkward, you could just get a shrug and have them be cool with it but nothing happens, you could be 69ing on your couch a half hour later, or you could get beaten up and thrown in a ditch with FAG carved into your forehead.

by Anonymousreply 3005/15/2013

A guy at my gym about 10 yrs ago. I'm big. He's big. I flirted. He flirted back. Wife used to come to the gym with him sometime. Nice but dumb. So was he for that matter. HE used to wear spandex tights and a tight tank top and so did I so I figured he liked showing off. He drove me home after the gym one night. I invited him in but he declined. Continued flirting at the gym. Now I really had to have him. Gave him my tel #. Took him six months but he called. That was followed by three months of phone flirting. Finally, I got him to come over one night after the gym. We kissed. We flexed. We posed. We striped down. I blew him. He loved it. He continued calling me and.......I didn't want him anymore.

by Anonymousreply 3105/15/2013

Vicky blowing you one time did not make you straight.

by Anonymousreply 3205/15/2013

[quote] time I bought him a soda at the deli and he tried to give me money and took my hand and put money in it and closed my hand and I thought that it was just an excuse to touch me.

OMG, that's a g0y signal and you missed it. Had you counted the money, you would have seen it was 69 cents and the message is that he wanted to 69 with you. All the g0ys use that technique.

by Anonymousreply 3305/15/2013

Quit trying to make g0y happen, cunts. It is a false construct and a disingenuous insult both to reality and to the gay people here.

by Anonymousreply 3405/15/2013

R34 Plus it's just plain stupid.

by Anonymousreply 3505/15/2013

sure enough, when drunk. fortunately all of the straight guys I hit on in the past were gentlemen about my lush hits.

by Anonymousreply 3605/15/2013

In college, I was still closeted and had zero experience with guys. One night in my fraternity, I was drinking and playing a board game in my room with a "pledge" one year younger than me. We were lying on the floor playing the game, and for some reason, I just leaned over and kissed him on the lips. I guess for that moment I thought he might be receptive. His eyes and eyebrows got comically HUGE and we both pulled away. I apologized profusely, and he was very kind in more or less saying that that wasn't his "thing". We went back to playing the game and said no more about it. But the next day he selected me to be his "pledge dad" (kind of a mentor in the fraternity), which I thought was a mighty cool way of saying he didn't hate me for it. We lost touch after I graduated and before I ever came out. But I still appreciate his lack for freaking out back then in 1984.

by Anonymousreply 3705/15/2013

You just don't want to know. Trust me, it's a lot of headaches after a while.

by Anonymousreply 3805/15/2013

I have posted about this elsewhere, but let me weigh in here, too. I'm in my mid-50s, and I worked briefly this year with a fellow attorney, a 26-year old former college athlete who followed his wife to my state, where she had taken a job at a hospital. We immediately struck up a very natural rapport of a kind I've seldom experienced. He referred to our chemistry, and mentioned our bromance to a colleague. The intensity of our relationship did not escape the attention of others. He knew I was single, & never delved into this area, so I had to assume that he "did the math" (he did volunteer, btw, that I didn't look a day over 40, and said he didn't want to know my actual age). During our work relationshp, the sub-theme was how our environment would make a great movie. When talk came to who would play him, he jumped in to say that the actor would have to be very handsome. I told him that went without saying. Later, when a colleague would ask in jest how the film project was faring, I looked at my friend & said that I had screen-tested half the actors in Hollywood under the age of 30 but that none of them were good-looking enough to play him. When our work relationship ended, I promised him that we were "to be continued." Shortly thereafter, at his suggestion, we went to a basketball game. I thought we were mostly in the friendship zone there, although, after a beer, his eyes glazed more intently in my direction, and, in another instance, he shoulder bumped me without any provocation. I did not - & would not - "come on" to him considering his circumstances. Since he had paid for the tickets, I followed up with an e-mail thanking him & telling him what great company he was. In the ensuing weeks, we kept in touch with phone calls, e-mails & texts, with each of us taking turns initiating contact. The tone was always very friendly, but with no suggestion of anything beyond friendship. I was concerned that I may have crossed the line when I sent him a recent screen shot of me from a film in which I had done some extra work. The subject line asked whether we could find a part for this film actor in our "project." He replied that the actor was too much of an A-lister for our limited budget. When he left for vacation with his wife at the end of April, he e-mailed & said that I should think of him on the beach while it was snowing at home. I responded by wishing him safe travels and telling him to rest assured that I would be thinking of him. Concerned that I might have crossed the line & scared my friend away, I vowed on his return to not contact him, but wait to see if he initiated contact. A few days after his return, he sent a friendly text on Friday. Since we had previously talked about going to some baseball games, I invited to join me at a baseball game Tuesday night. He expressed interest but said he would have to speak to his wife first. I didn't hear from him until Sunday night, when he said he'd like to go to the game if my extra ticket was still available & he apologized for the "radio silence." Last night, we met & drove together to the game. On the walk to the stadium, he mentioned that I should be in front of the camera with my good looks. Later in the evening, when I recounted being taunted as a grade schooler, he asked if they were taunting handsome boys. He also made note of my warmth & kindness. The chemistry we had previously enjoyed was very much evident throughout the game, although again I saw no indication that he wanted to take our relationship to the next level. And without an overt indication on his part, I wouldn't do anything to endanger a friendship that I so prize. As we were leaving, and making plans to go to other games, he asked if his wife - who has asked about me & wants to meet me - could intrude on our "man date" for one of the games.

by Anonymousreply 3905/15/2013

R39, that all sounds sweet. I'd enjoy that for what it is and not make any further "move".

by Anonymousreply 4005/15/2013

I've had a few straight and married guys come on to me at work. I was always too shy to do anything about it but now I wish I had. They were all sexy. I could have had some good times.

by Anonymousreply 4105/15/2013

R40, we spoke about going to another game later this month for which I also have an extra ticket. I will not broach the subject again, but wait to see if he initiates the contact. BTW, he thanked me in a text today for the "great" time last night. I responded that I had a great time, too, & that he was "the best."

by Anonymousreply 4205/15/2013

Invite a few other guys in also, so its less intensely just you and him. Straight guys like to bro out in small packs, maybe?..and this might stop you from making the wrong move.

Although you should attempt something zany but nonsexual like skinnydipping, just because that would be funny. Then report back.

by Anonymousreply 4305/15/2013

LOL @ R2

by Anonymousreply 4405/15/2013

Straight dudes flirt with me, but I don't take the bait. I am not desperate or promiscuous, so I don't go there.

by Anonymousreply 4505/15/2013

R39, terms like bromance and man date are ones used in the straight community. Maybe your friend thinks you're straight.

by Anonymousreply 4605/16/2013

i did but i ended up raped in the back of a pickup truck then thrown into some bushes on the freeway

by Anonymousreply 4705/16/2013

Ah yes, all straight men can be had (not true) and all are potentially gay (not true)- and when they do have sex with men, well they are straight men having sex with men (really not true).

This goy thing is one of the most insidious examples of self loathing on DL in years- and of course in the wider world of the wacked out Internet.

by Anonymousreply 4805/16/2013

A much younger straight married friend whom I've been discreetly crushing on in a major way the last few months said something to me the other night that I had failed to previously consider. The subject of getting into fights when we were younger came up. He said he had always been a pacifist. I told him that as a 5th grader I was repeatedly taunted by a 6th grader to the point that - in my one & only fight (I thereafter literally ran away from any possible fights) - I beat the kid up in the full view of others on Devil's Night (my hometown's night before Halloween). My friend's reaction was to ask if they were taunting handsome boys. Apart from telling me what he thinks of my looks, it dawned on me - lo these many decades later, that this might have been the motivating factor for my bully. BTW, the shame of being publicly pummelled by me was obviously such a source of shame that my bully went on to become an all-state wrestler!

by Anonymousreply 4905/16/2013

There's no straight man on this earth who doesn't have one incident of experimentation in his system, waiting to sneak out for a brief moment with the right guy, and then the door is shut.

by Anonymousreply 5005/17/2013

I'm currently going through the "I think my male co-worker is gay curious and interested in me". We're both around the same height, outgoing, witty and we both dress pretty stylish. He one time stated that he loved fashion with out me even bringing it up. He claims he straight and he knows I'm openly gay. He's even initiated that we meet up outside of work about a week ago but we still haven't acted upon setting up a time to hangout. His taste in women vary, he acts overly arrogant and cocky but he's really a nice guy, a softy and I see right through it. He moved to LA to obviously get away from his family and to start a career in "Hollywood". A Female co-worker/friend of mine also caught him starring at me during one of our shifts at work. What I'm sensing is this " He wants to initiate something but he's probably afraid that I'm a Top and would want to fuck him if we ever hooked up" but little does he know. It would be the total opposite. I would say he's attracted to my confidence and dominance but is afraid he might get rejected or not get the answer he wants. Meanwhile I'm struggling on if I should just actually tell him that whatever he wants to do with me outside of work wouldn't be anyone's business but area. He's a fucking cutie!! And I want him Sooo bad! I'm 22, he's 24.

by Anonymousreply 5105/17/2013

Coupla beers, R51.

by Anonymousreply 5205/17/2013

I am 40 and been an amateur bodybuilder for 15 years. I work out at our local gym on off hours (it is open 24 hours). About three months ago this guy, early 30's, started coming in and recognized me from work. We made small talk and he started spotting me and we started working out with each other. He is married two kids, I am out at work so nothing hidden. We make small talk at the gym mostly work talk at first then social. He began recently to start asking about who I date, how I know someone is gay, asking if anyone at the gym is gay etc. He FB friended me and has commented on more than a few of my posts.

There was a after work party we were both at and he spent the whole night hanging out with me. He drank quite a bit and started pointing out guys at the bar asking if I would fuck him or him..and what was my type. I told him I really didn't have a type I liked guys I could talk to who I had a good rapport with and he said "like me"...long awkward pause and he laughed. He said how come you never hit on me? almost matter of factly and I told him, uhh, you are married and straight. He siad "but you think I am hot right?" lol at this point I just went with it and said yeah if you were gay I would be all over you but your not so that's that. He gave a bro punch in the arm and said "that's cool man"

So he drank too much and I offered to drive him home. It was about a 30 minute ride. He asked me how i knew I was gay and I told him I always known that I was always attracted to guys. He asked if I ever was with a girl and I told him I had a few girls before i figured it all out. This lead to the inevitable question "so what is sex like with a guy" I gave him the usual response, guys know what guys like etc..nothing graphic or descriptive. I asked him flat out, have you ever done anything with a guy before? He laughed and said oh you know kid stuff, beating off with a friend. Long awkward pause like he was waiting for me to ask the next question. We got to his house and I pulled up to the curb. The lights were out and he said "looks like i am not getting any tonight" I laughted. He didn't get out, looked at me and said "can I kiss you to see what it is like?" I smiled awkwardly..I mean he was drunk and obviously curious. I said sure what the hell. He leaned in and grabbed his head and slowly buried my tongue down his throat figuring he would pull away. Nope, he was putting his tongue right back down mine and really really getting in to it. Usually i find if a straight guy is just fucking with me you get a tongue in and they freak. He was not pulling away so I just kept kissing him. I ran my hand across his crotch and he was hard as a rock, but I stopped there. I pulled away and he he was smiling ear to ear and said whoa. I said you should get inside man and he laughed said see ya.

Next day at the gym he shows up as usual not weird at all. I asked him how he felt, he said like shit but had a great time. I never brought up the making out, neither did he but he said, we should def hang out again...and we plan on going out on a sat night when his wife and kid are out of when that happens I will let ya know.

by Anonymousreply 5305/17/2013

I spent months, maybe close to two years being buddies with a Jim. I was in the closet, and he made me feel comfortable because he never talked/asked about girls. He never had a girl friend either as of being 24 (I was 19). We did everything together that many would have assumed we were a couple…long bicycle rides, long walks in the woods, once even skinny dipping. We went camping, I decided to test the waters and cuddle up to him. Jim didn't resist, but he didn't take the bait. I didn't really go for it, but the next day he had commented negatively about it. Soon after that, we were visiting one of his out of state friends, and his "straight" friend came on to me…and yes, I did go there.

Jim and I stayed good friends, but I never made another attempt. 12 years later I came out to him. He had married and even the marriage seemed staged. We are in our 50s now and my gaydar still pings for him, although I am not attracted to him. I guess we were meant to be just bros.

Man, no wonder it took me so long to come out!

by Anonymousreply 5405/17/2013

[quote]when that happens I will let ya know.

Don't forget to bookmark this thread R53.

by Anonymousreply 5505/18/2013

[quote]I've had a few straight and married guys come on to me at work...

Post your picture. I can only imagine how hot you are. If not, you're full of shit.

by Anonymousreply 5605/18/2013

R39, are you certain that your married friend knows you're gay?

by Anonymousreply 5705/18/2013

R57, although early on I would use the absurd line that I had 6 children with 8 different women (&, in homage to his childhood basketball hero Shawn Kemp, would say that each of their names was Shawn Kemp, Jr. - '90s hoops fans will understand the reference), he's too sharp not to know better, especially in light of all the worshipful attention I have showered on him. But I remain somewhat confused about his motivation for using the terms bromance & man date - which I thought were confined to straight men. And his use of the term radio silence to apologize for his delayed response has, in some parlances at least, a romantic connotation.

BTW, although we had talked about going to another game next weekend, I offered him my tickets so that he could take his wife, who's celebrating a birthday. He said that was really kind of me but would insist, if she was available, that we all go together.

by Anonymousreply 5805/19/2013

As a gay guy, if a beautiful supermodel or super hot woman came onto me, I'd be highly flattered and would definitely go for it. If some fat frau or the equivalent came onto me, I'd have to pass. I can imagine it would be the same for a straight guy...if some Abercrombie model tried to seduce him, I'm sure he'd do it. If some out-of-shape, smelly, creepy type guy was flirting with him (think of the old men that walk around naked in gym locker rooms), he'd probably be disgusted and offended.

by Anonymousreply 5905/19/2013

So good looks trump sexual orientation, R59?

by Anonymousreply 6005/19/2013

No, but there were a few people that I wanted to hit on.

But I haven't come out yet and they were my friends and I didn't want to frighten them or anything like that.

by Anonymousreply 6105/19/2013

I think looks trump sexual orientation. We tend to forget how superficial people are in terms of how looks effect what we're willing to do for people...or what we're not willing to do. Not just sex, everything.

by Anonymousreply 6205/19/2013

[quote]or I guess one might calle me a g0y because I am attracted to men.

We'll call you MARY! instead.

by Anonymousreply 6305/19/2013

[quote]We tend to forget how superficial people are in terms of how looks effect what we're willing to do for people...or what we're not willing to do. Not just sex, everything.

I agree. That's why most psychopaths that we hear about are good looking. People wouldn't put up with as much shit from the homely looking psychopaths.

by Anonymousreply 6405/19/2013

R62, most men will fuck anything that will let them, regardless of what it looks like.

by Anonymousreply 6505/19/2013

I've found that most of the times in my life when I've been able to hook up with really hot guys, whether they're "straight" or not, has been when I just threw caution to the wind and pointedly approached them to hook up. The more blunt my come on, the better. No coaxing, no timid apprehension. Whenever I've just boldly asked them for sex is when I get the best results. Of course, being drunk helps a lot.

by Anonymousreply 6605/19/2013

Yes and it usually ends in a blow job and a cum facial.

by Anonymousreply 6705/19/2013

r21, I feel your pain. I shook my bosses hand at work and he held on to it for a little longer than needed and I thought he was trying to send me a signal. I figured he was closeted but he would drop hints. Then come to find out he has a gay son and was trying to "relate" to me. So embarrassing.

by Anonymousreply 6805/19/2013

R68 That's awkward...

by Anonymousreply 6905/19/2013
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