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Sexual Orientation, or Sexual Preference?

'Orientation' seems to be the politically correct term. I still hear people refer to homosexuality as a "sexual preference." Many of them don't say it in a negative way. Does it irritate you when someone uses 'preference' over 'orientation'?

by Anonymousreply 4405/13/2013

I never thought about it before but when someone on here complained about it the other day it makes sense.

Preference implies something you chose. Orientation is an exact scientific term, like that's how you are.

I don't think it necessarily means anything but the one that gets me is "alternative lifestyle". That clearly is disrespectful.

by Anonymousreply 105/10/2013

Neither a lifestyle nor a preference. This discussion feel s 25 years out of date.

by Anonymousreply 205/10/2013

It's "sexual identity."

by Anonymousreply 305/10/2013

I think sexual identity says it best. It covers all the bases and it's not offensive at all.

by Anonymousreply 405/10/2013

"Sexual identity" is NOT a good term. It sounds like you're talking about whether you think you're male or female, as in transgender. Sexual orientation is about what you're ATTRACTED to, i.e. heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual.

by Anonymousreply 505/10/2013

OP, get it right and then shut up about what "people" use:

My sexual orientation is gay.

My sexual preference is fucking hunky guys in the ass.

Got it?

by Anonymousreply 605/10/2013

I think they're related concepts that often get muddled/confused.

A gay man might say:

My gender identity is male.

My sexual preference is sex with men.

My sexual orientation is gay.

So gender identity + sexual preference = sexual orientation.

by Anonymousreply 705/10/2013

Well, you make a point on the trans issue.

What about a woman who occasionally has sex with a woman, but could do without it with no problem. Never mind. I know nobody gives a shit.

by Anonymousreply 805/10/2013

I am irritated when anyone cares enough about my life that they have to label me or have an opinion about whom I choose to love and have an intimate personal relationship with.

by Anonymousreply 905/11/2013

When non gay people say "sexual preference" its code for "I dont approve of what you are doing"

It's not an accident. This intentional use of the word "preference" has been a clever talking point from religious freaks and right wing nuts for the past 20 years.

It's a way of invalidating how you were born and putting it a category of choice. Once its a choice, you can tell people they are making bad choices. If on the other hand you were born that way, then god dose not make mistakes. Get it?

So yes, it pisses me off because it is not an accident. Even if I feel the person using it is truly ignorant about it, still shows who they are listening to.

by Anonymousreply 1005/11/2013

R10 nailed it.

by Anonymousreply 1105/11/2013

A bisexual person might have a preference for either male or female. There is no "preference" for a gay person.

by Anonymousreply 1205/11/2013

R8 It's called bisexual. Bisexuality doesn't mean exactly 50/50 attraction to men and women. You can be more attracted to one gender and less to another.

by Anonymousreply 1305/11/2013

"Sexual Preference" is homophobic.

Plain and simple. If I called your skin color your "Racial Preference".....

File this under the little ways the Jesus Freaks try and insert self hate into the gay community.

by Anonymousreply 1405/11/2013

Sexual Orientation = gay male (sex with other males)

Sexual preference = ginger guys.

by Anonymousreply 1505/11/2013

It was a common term when I was growing up. People also often compares being gay to preferring one kind of ice cream over another - no big deal, just what you like.

I used the term offhand on Datalounge once and got ripped to shreds. Some people just need something to get incensed about.

by Anonymousreply 1605/11/2013

R10 is correct. My sexual preference or preferences are none of your business. My status -- who I am -- can be if I choose to share it with you.

Funny that 20+ years ago, when you identified yourself as gay, many well-meaning straights would think it was an open door for them to ask all sorts of personal questions -- what do you do, how do you do it, why do you do it.

by Anonymousreply 1705/11/2013

What's the difference? I don't care if it's a preference or an orientation, people have a right to be treated equally and with respect. Period.

by Anonymousreply 1805/11/2013

'Sexual preference' is a right-wing code term. 'Sexual orientation' is at least neutral.

End of thread.

by Anonymousreply 1905/11/2013

Sexual preference is entirely correct when people fuck both genders willy nilly.

by Anonymousreply 2005/11/2013

Yes r17. They fixate on "who's the woman". I think they even use or are very aware of tops and bottoms as descrptors now, not exactly difficult to figure out.

by Anonymousreply 2105/11/2013

Apple pie is a preference.

by Anonymousreply 2205/11/2013

R21, true! And the weirdest thing is that people who ask those kind of questions do not realize how rude they're being.

R18, you are smart enough to participate in this thread.

by Anonymousreply 2305/11/2013

OP: yes, it pisses me off. Everyone here has nailed it: it is an orientation.

What pisses me off even more, though, is when sites like Towleroad and other gay blogs still use the term 'sexual preference'. Makes me see red. A great swash of fire engine red.

by Anonymousreply 2405/11/2013

I've stopped giving a shit what people say or think.

Legal equality is goal #1. After that, meh... idiots will still be idiots. Nothing you say or do will change that.

by Anonymousreply 2505/11/2013

People are not born religious, they have a religious preference.

I prefer the religious preference of Episcopalians to that of the religious preference of Evangelicals.

by Anonymousreply 2605/11/2013

Preference is preferring french fries to baked potatoes. When you get older the preference may change. Why not your preference for homosexuality?

by Anonymousreply 2705/11/2013

Fuck off, R27, you blithering idiot.

by Anonymousreply 2805/11/2013

It's the key to the whole bisexuality question. Bisexuality is unquestionably a scientifically observable orientation. It has never been observed as a "preference."

by Anonymousreply 2905/11/2013

R28 doesn't not get the illustration.

by Anonymousreply 3005/11/2013

Really, R27.... are you so idiotic that you do not know there is a yet undiscovered gene that determines if you are a "baked" or "Fried" person? It has nothing to do with learned behavior, cultural pressures, or PREFERENCE. It is out of our control. And since this is Datalounge, where being a French Fry eater, especially a FAST FOOD French Fry eater, is far worse than being gay would be for a member of Westboro Baptist Church, it is due to genetics and can not be helped.

Actually the genetic vs choice crap depresses me. It shows how profound the homophobia is in this board. So what if it is a choice? It should be considered a totally valid choice and equal to any other choice about sexual issues. I am from the 70's where we used the term preference.... because I attended LOTS of parties and saw fluidity in action kids. When you get intense on the "born this way" you are saying "What I am is wrong, but I was born this way." That saddens me. I think you are absorbing and giving out the wrong message. I am old and I am now thinking I will exit this life with the world almost as fucked up on the issue of sexuality as it was when I came into it...... the politically correct cul de sac moves to a different place in the road and keeps the world from making any real progress down the main highway.

by Anonymousreply 3105/11/2013

Sexual Orientation = gay guys

Sexual Preference = lesbians

by Anonymousreply 3205/11/2013

I wouldn't tell anyone that r23. Well except my fellow gays and strangers on the internet lol.

It's just so tacky, like that thread about nelly tops. TMI. We don't need to know. That is giving too much of yourself away if you broadcast it to the world, just nasty.

by Anonymousreply 3305/11/2013

Think of all the "gay" guys who dig pussy, though.

by Anonymousreply 3405/11/2013

My signature should have been "Sexuality is as individual as a fingerprint.... what you are is what is RIGHT". It got cut off. But I got more words in the signature line than I would have speaking to a group of 3 or more of you before getting cut off.....

by Anonymousreply 3505/11/2013

The correct term--not "politically correct" but rather simply correct--is sexual orientation--or how you are naturally wired.

Sexual preference is bigoted and homophobic. Vanilla ice cream over chocolate is a preference.

Sexual identity is being confused about your gender, or perhaps more aptly described as being born a male in a female body or vice versa.

by Anonymousreply 3605/11/2013

>>>>> "The correct term--not "politically correct" but rather simply correct--is sexual orientation--or how you are naturally wired"

No, it is politically correct, not necessarily correct. There remains no proof that any genetic cause exists. Saying it over and over is no substitute for scientific proof.

I am trained in human sexuality and feel homosexuality is a redundancy to heterosexuality, as sexual activity between humans is above all social with a reproductive side effect. Homosexuality exists within most people just like heterosexuality.... something causes it to be expressed as the dominant sexual attraction just as left handedness is expressed in a similar percentage of the population rather than the more common right-handedness. Being left handed was once actively discouraged, repressed and viewed as evil by the religious as well. Now we would see the act of a nun hitting the hand of a lefty and forcing them to use the right to be ignorant and barbaric. Just a generation ago, kids.....

Sex and sexual activity aids survival of those already born, it encourages cooperation and bonding in a tribe. It also leads to more humans, but even when the sexual activity is not of the type that leads to impregnation, it is still valuable to the species, it is intensely and intimately social.

by Anonymousreply 3705/11/2013

for gay guys it's orientation, for bi it's preference

by Anonymousreply 3805/11/2013


Right wing/religious winguts are also instructed to use the word "homosexual" rather than "gay" or "same-sex". The latter sound too harmless. The former paints a mental picture of two people of the same gender having sex

by Anonymousreply 3905/11/2013

Tomato, tomato, potato, potato....

by Anonymousreply 4005/11/2013

The currently acceptable term is "into dudes."

by Anonymousreply 4105/11/2013

[quote]When non gay people say "sexual preference" [bold]its code[/bold] for "I dont approve of what you are doing"

R10 is right on target.

by Anonymousreply 4205/12/2013

R37 is right, and I'm glad to see that after me being the only idiot repeating that over and over for years here, it has insinuated itself into somebody else's brain.

by Anonymousreply 4305/12/2013

[quote]I am trained in human sexuality

Translation: I'm a whore, darling.

by Anonymousreply 4405/13/2013
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