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Let's create a Tom Cruise Film

"Twilight Zone: Viscosity" (2014)- Cruise stars as Pole Smokur, an astronaut who ends up trapped in the galaxy of his nightmares: a female vagina. A prostitute's vag, to be exact. And every hour or so she gets a huge raw load of jizz squirted inside. It's up to him to find his way to Mons Pubis and escape. Along the way he teams-up with eccentric explorer Salmon Pattie (Queen Latifah) and romances an ethnic type, Aureola (Michelle Rodriguez) who "never wants to leave here". Directed by Joel Schumacher.

by Nickyreply 2105/11/2013

Tom Cruise and John Cusak play a male couple who adopt a 15 year old boy named Scooter. Scooter engages in all kinds of sexual adventures that upset and intrigue his guardians.

by Nickyreply 105/10/2013

Tom plays an elder in a perfectly innocent church that is based on the principals of a nutty science fiction writer, who finds himself harassed by organized online hackers. They spread lies about him and his fellow elders, saying he's engaged in the abuse of church members and human trafficking, and brainwash ex-members into making up new and more horrific lies about him and his perfectly innocent church. Worse, they lure his lovely young wife away, and deny him custody of his prettiest daughter!

With the help of a pretty computer geek (Jenna Elfman) and a sympathetic FBI agent (Kirstie Alley), he's able to lure all the Anonymous hackers to a supposed protest, and gun them and his ex-wife down. The film closes as Cruise kisses Elfman and hugs the daughter, towering over both thanks to some very expensive CGI.

by Nickyreply 205/10/2013

Tom plays a white male character who is very good at his job, which is doing claims adjustments in the year 3099. The future has progressed so much that claims adjustments can now be done by exploring parallel dimensions to narrow down the likelihood that accidents could be prevented. He uncovers a conspiracy that can only be unmasked by tracking down a white girl, shooting his former insurance agent colleagues with laser guns, and then dragging the white girl to find the right magic dust that will let her find why one insurance claim doesn't show any other parallel possibilities. The second half of the film features a lot of CGI, lens flares, plot twists that you saw coming because you read the formula and people gasping at how amazing this white man is. He has at least one scene where he is barechested or wearing a tight t shirt with leather or denim jacket. The white girl is not hot - just weird and vaguely ill-looking.

He makes sure that his contract includes a provision that ensures the film is shot in such a way that every male character looks the same height or shorter than him.

by Nickyreply 305/10/2013

Bravo DLers!!! These are awesome!!!

More, more!

by Nickyreply 405/10/2013

Fisting - Tom plays a cocky, 29-year-old boxer named "Cave" who meets a tough lady boxer (Jada Pinkett Smith). She breaks through his tough guy exterior and they fall in love. Directed by Clint Eastwood. Wins an academy award for "Best Makeup" thanks to the technicians who made Tom look like a twentysomething.

by Nickyreply 505/10/2013

When does Lana the hooker show up?

by Nickyreply 605/10/2013

To, plays a chick with dick getting it on with will smith

by Nickyreply 705/10/2013

Stretch - Tom plays a 22-year-old, unbelievably tall, relentlessly heterosexual college basketball player, who kicks ass on and off the court at Cooldude University. He meets the campus queen (Jennifer Lawrence, who was almost turned down for being "too old" to play Tom's love interest) and falls in love with her while achieving his dream of being drafted into the NBA. Cameos from Kobe Bryant and LeBron James, who are required to stand in ditches during their scenes with Tom so they won't tower over him.

by Nickyreply 805/10/2013

R5, what about best director for making Jada look heterosexual?

by Nickyreply 905/10/2013

Tom is Tom Hero, an Afghan war hero - a colonel - who loses his arms and legs in a vicious land mine explosion arranged by the Afghan government. He is offered a choice - live in a VA facility or enter a secret bioengineering program. He receives new arms and legs, all springy and clutchy, and struggles to learn how to use them. He goes back to Afghanistan to finish his tour of duty.

And then it turns out that the program was infested by rogue Taliban converts. They have secretly given him super limbs with extra powers. They are going to take over his body and make him commit unspeakable acts of violence against his fellow Americans. Boom. Slash. Kablooey.

It all was a plot - even his original injuries. Thanks to a charismatic nurse - played by Victoria Justice - who falls in love with him, he changes his programming and instead of harming Americans he blows up the Afghan government building, killing the corrupt government and freeing the nation for democracy. Unfortunately his beloved older mentor general friend dies. Any of the usual "eminent respectables" will do.

He and his nurse lover marry, and as they go down the aisle you see that the American army scientists have given him limbs that look natural and real, as his wedding ring shines on his finger. But right at the end you see that there is a glow and you know he is armed and ready for battle - in the sequel.

Tom wants to call it HERO - THE BEGINNING. Victoria's mother is nervous.

by Nickyreply 1005/10/2013

"Tom is Tom Hero, an Afghan war hero - a colonel"

A TALL colonel. Very, very tall.

by Nickyreply 1105/10/2013

Riskier Business - Time of Your Life 2

A Princeton dropout named Joel finds himself tossed out of his home and barred from seeing his beloved autistic son and his two sassy sisters unless he can resume child support payments.

Jobless after the secondhand Porsche dealership where he worked closes due to the unavailability of sub-prime auto loans, Joel searches high and low for new employment only to find doors closing on him at every turn.

Finally, leaving a five-star Chicago hotel after an unsuccessful interview for a valet parking job, Joel sees his former flame, Lana, being hustled out of the lobby by two menacing men. Her husband, Guido, is chasing after the men shouting "whatever you want...just tell me...I'll pay it...please...I am begging you."

As Lana is pushed into a waiting car, a shaken Guido sees Joel starting from across the way.

"Kid! Kid! Lana needs your help!"

Thus begins a chase which takes Joel from the grit of the South Side to the beaches of Rio to the remote island home of Miles and Barry, early investors in a variety of successful internet start-ups, now lovers and devoted orchid-growers.

At stake is Lana's rescue and the recovery of a clutch of Faberge eggs worth over $100 million - and a $10 million reward to anyone who returns them to their rightful owner, Rutherford, who as a university trustee can bestow the true prize: an honorary Princeton diploma which would show his children that their father is indeed a hero.

by Nickyreply 1205/10/2013

The year is 4545 and the setting is the remote, virtually inhospitable Norwegian annexed island of Bouvet, 1000 miles north of what is left of Antarctica.

Tom plays Peter Brekke, a Cyber Cogni-Morph, who has been programmed with the ability to transform himself into any physical object he can imagine.

Developed as a part of a top secret NWO military project to enforce global labour camps and martial law, Cyber Cogni-Morphs have their thoughts pre-programmed to complete their top secret objectives.

In a near miss moment, Brekke accidentally morphs into a banana during a mission to infiltrate a North Korean military base in Pyongyang. He is recalled and subsequently discharged when his mental stability cannot be verified and permissions cannot be repaired.

Living as a virtual recluse in Bouvet, the film takes the viewer on a powerful journey of Peter Brekke's inner most thoughts as they appear right before our eyes.

Brekke's decent into madness begins when he morphs into a snowball, a carnival balloon and an apple, as he struggles to come to terms that his life as an elite military tool is over.

by Nickyreply 1305/11/2013

[quote] Bravo DLers!!! These are awesome!!!

What an undemanding male this R4 must be.

by Nickyreply 1405/11/2013

On another note, his new Si-Fi movie is awesome! Not a Cruse fan per say but the concept, the story, the design, the visual effects were stunning!

by Nickyreply 1505/11/2013

Battlefield Earth 2. Written and directed by John Travolta.

by Nickyreply 1605/11/2013

"Bobby Truit"

The story of a modestly talented closeted new-religious fanatic who becomes a superstar while routinely giving horrible performances in which he mugs incessantly while trying to assert a feigned hypermasculinity, annoying the crap out of a great many people but winning the hearts of billions.

by Nickyreply 1705/11/2013

Can someone get me a script for a movie starring Tom Cruise and Jennifer Aniston?

by Nickyreply 1805/11/2013

Fantasy Fulfillment

A aging man who is definitely not a "10" corrals a very hard-working but young and naive PR girl, whose family has finally financed her own agency, into making him into a publicly admired, hetero stud. The girl is morally conflicted but realizes that she does wants to save face in front of her family, and repay the loans. The man in contrast has no moral conflicts. He pressures the girl into joining his unusual religious cult, convincing her that that is the only way she will be truly successful.

PS, I like happy endings.

by Nickyreply 1905/11/2013

Some of these are pretty bad. I liked r1 best.

by Nickyreply 2005/11/2013

"Orange Odyssey Open" (2015)- The recently dicovered film from genius director Stanley Kubrick is a stunner. Combining elements from all his previous films, Earth has become a cesspool of pollution and gangs. The film finds Dr. William Harford (Tom Cruise) stranded in a hotel on Mars during a meteor storm- trying to write an article. But all he keeps typing is, "Kiss the boys and make them cry". Unbeknownst to his wife Alice back home (Nicole Kidman)- he has 3 young sex slaves (Zac Efron, Logan Lerman and Justin Bieber) chained-up in Suite 237. But a grizzled detective (Vincent D'Onofrio) is on his trail. Featuring a cameo by Danny Lloyd as Bartender.

by Nickyreply 2105/11/2013
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