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What are your favorite things to sneak into a theater?

I always like to sneak a Subway footlong down my pants. And their sodas are too expensive so I bring those little Crystal Light flavor powder tube packets. Sometimes I'll pop my own popcorn and put it in a gallon size zip lock bag. I'll squeeze their hot butter on top and it tastes just like theater popcorn. Going to see Iron Man 3 tonight with a date. What would you suggest bringing?

by Anonymousreply 6305/12/2013

I suggest Burritos for your date OP. Also, sneak in soda in a water heater pouch.

by Anonymousreply 105/10/2013

Fried chicken.

by Anonymousreply 205/10/2013

Lobster bisque, poached chicken breast over jasmine rice, seasonal greens and a tiny bit of black eyed peas on top. I two plates and a bowl in my very tall top hat.

by Anonymousreply 305/10/2013

If it's the kind of theater where people are singing and dancing on stage, I bring my earbuds and a player.

by Anonymousreply 405/10/2013

Stovepipe, Abe. You had a Stovepipe hat.

by Anonymousreply 505/10/2013

When OP walks into the theater, everyone will be gaping at his huge bulge.

Those of us in the know will merely snicker and walk away.

by Anonymousreply 605/10/2013

[quote]Stovepipe, Abe. You had a Stovepipe hat.

You are too correct. I seem to be of half a mind after that last trip to the theater.

by Anonymousreply 705/10/2013


by Anonymousreply 805/10/2013


by Anonymousreply 905/10/2013

Capri Sun and Gushers

by Anonymousreply 1005/10/2013


by Anonymousreply 1105/10/2013

yes r2, that or pizza.

I had a friend who would pull stuff from her purse for HOURS. It was like a worm hole.

One day she pulled out pulled pork and buns and then a watermelon.

by Anonymousreply 1205/10/2013

Pancakes and syrup.

by Anonymousreply 1305/10/2013

Poppers and lube.

by Anonymousreply 1405/10/2013

OP is a big fat person, right?

by Anonymousreply 1505/10/2013

r14, shouldn't that sign say "Tea Room & Theater"

by Anonymousreply 1605/10/2013

2 Drag Queens

by Anonymousreply 1705/10/2013

I like to sneak in my pet rat, Basil, and let him wander through the aisles.

Hilarity ensues.

by Anonymousreply 1805/10/2013

sour cream and chive potato chips and a Dr. Pepper

by Anonymousreply 1905/10/2013

My bros and I try to find a dark isolated part of the theater so we can go down on each other during the movie, so we bring some lube in case we wanna do some fuckin on the floor.

by Anonymousreply 2005/10/2013

I sneak in my Italian mother and a small stove. While I watch the movie she makes me a three course meal. If you happen to be at that theatre OP you can have some too, mama always makes more than enough.

by Anonymousreply 2105/10/2013

R20, your mother must be proud.

by Anonymousreply 2205/10/2013

Some bros rejected r22.

by Anonymousreply 2305/10/2013

A couple of longnecks in a paper bag. I make sure they clink around a lot if some uptight old broad is sitting nearby.

by Anonymousreply 2405/10/2013

[quote]What would you suggest bringing?

1. Your dignity. 2. Some class.

by Anonymousreply 2505/10/2013

Toenail clippers.

by Anonymousreply 2605/10/2013

[all posts by ham-fisted troll a removed.]

by Anonymousreply 2705/10/2013

Crack rocks or nose candy.

by Anonymousreply 2805/10/2013

An entire 4-tier wedding cake

by Anonymousreply 2905/10/2013

[quote]When OP walks into the theater, everyone will be gaping at his huge bulge.

He didn't say he shoved it down the front of his pants, did he?

by Anonymousreply 3005/10/2013

You can get movie theater candy at Walgreens for a dollar when their on sale. I always stock up on Junior Mints, Milk Buds, and Raisonieetes. I dont know why the theater charges so much.

by Anonymousreply 3105/10/2013

I'll never reveal my theatre snacks.

by Anonymousreply 3205/10/2013

The OP is exactly why I have not been in a movie theater for decades.

Sickening people who think they have to eat during a 2 hour movie and usually make a lot of slobbering, slurping, noisy mouth gyrations, crunching, etc which is sickening to listen to.

Grotesque people in movie theater these days and for the last 2 or 3 decades. No manners. Stupid. Loud. Idiotic.

by Anonymousreply 3305/10/2013

I usually just bring a jar of moths. Not to eat, but if the movie sucks, I open the lid and let them out. They love the light coming from the projection booth.

by Anonymousreply 3405/10/2013

I usually charm any random guy sitting next to me to let me eat his ass. Definitely fills me up.

by Anonymousreply 3505/10/2013

My fave thing???? My smartphone so that I am always available for calls and texting!!!!!!!!!! Also, do you mind i I put my feet up on the back of your seat???? You don't mind, do you???? These seats are uncomfortable!!!!! Also, can you try not to make too much crunching noise when you're eating???? It's RILLY distracting when I'm on the phone!!!!!

by Anonymousreply 3605/10/2013

I always check out my Grindr application when I'm in the MegaPlex, and then get a seat in the back row.

by Anonymousreply 3705/10/2013

Who the fuck is eating onions in here??

by Anonymousreply 3805/10/2013

I hate when people eat nachos in the theatre, the cheese smell is nauseating.

by Anonymousreply 3905/10/2013

I don't sneak anything in. I buy stuff to eat there. Theaters make a lot of their profits from the concessions more than the ticket sales and it feels unclassy to bring in my own snacks. You people don't do this in restaurants, do you?

by Anonymousreply 4005/10/2013

I'm with R25 on this one.

If the OP does decide to begin his game of seduction with smuggled candy, he should also map out a plan where his date can see him enter a restroom stall at the theater to presumably take a huge dump.

by Anonymousreply 4105/10/2013

an ice cold 12 oz can of coke

by Anonymousreply 4205/10/2013


Don't be silly, of course not. These bitches bring tupperware to buffets and take stuff OUT.

by Anonymousreply 4305/10/2013

Fried chicken wings because the smell pisses everyone off.

Women have it easy because we can fir a bottle of wine and a whole picnic for 2 in our big ass bags.

by Anonymousreply 4405/10/2013

And the winner is R34:

[quote]I usually just bring a jar of moths. Not to eat, but if the movie sucks, I open the lid and let them out. They love the light coming from the projection booth.

by Anonymousreply 4505/10/2013

Tonsil rinse.

by Anonymousreply 4605/10/2013

Cheap fucker. Just realised that I'm washing my hair tonight.....

by Anonymousreply 4705/10/2013

R33, you do realise the OP is kidding?

by Anonymousreply 4805/11/2013


by Anonymousreply 4905/11/2013

My dildo.

by Anonymousreply 5005/11/2013

A little song. A little dance. A little seltzer down your pants.

by Anonymousreply 5105/11/2013

[quote] You people don't do this in restaurants, do you?

You go to a movie to see a movie, not necessarily to eat. Your argument would be better served by asking if someone would bring a portable DVD player into a movie.

by Anonymousreply 5205/11/2013

I know the OP is kidding, but I do see people eating WAY to often at the movies. It's probably healthier than eating the popcorn popped in coconut oil . Regal theaters medium size popcorn have 60 grams of fat and 1200 calories ( 36 strips of bacon plus eight parts of butter)

by Anonymousreply 5305/11/2013

My theater has a microwave for people to heat Hot Pockets and frozen burritos. I just bring Orville Reckenbocker microwave popcorn and use their microwave. It's 60 cents vesus $7.50 for their popcorn. It's a no brainer.

by Anonymousreply 5405/11/2013

I hide a hibachi in my trousers and serve up a little beef teriyaki, sharing it with my fellow audience members.

by Anonymousreply 5505/11/2013

Where was the Tea Room Theater? What city? Is it still open?

by Anonymousreply 5605/11/2013

I hate to eat in the dark. I can't taste something if I can't see it. No wonder blind people are skinny!

by Anonymousreply 5705/11/2013

Why can't you buffoons like the OP not eat for a lousy two hours of the movie?

gluttonous pigs with no manners and pure swine

revolting classless behavior

by Anonymousreply 5805/11/2013

Well smell you, #58. You should just stay home and masturbate to "Mr. Selfridge".

by Anonymousreply 5905/11/2013

I don't eat at the movies either r58 either, but I'm never short of a capital letter or punctuation. People in classless houses shouldn't throw stones.

by Anonymousreply 6005/11/2013

Pro tip: throw some Junior Mints and Raisenettes into your popcorn and let it melt. Heaven, just heaven. Don't say I didn't warn you.

by Anonymousreply 6105/11/2013

R33 -- Felix Unger, we miss you!

by Anonymousreply 6205/11/2013

On the rare occasions when I go to a movie theater, it's a film I'm riveted to. Eating would be a distraction.

Most moviegoers go for action, laughs or thrills. If a bloody hatchet isn't coming at them in 3D- they're going to be bored. Food helps.

Having worked as a theater usher, I never want to see another popcorn kernel in my life. Even though waste baskets were everywhere, people dropped whatever they were eating or drinking and just left- like toddlers.

by Anonymousreply 6305/12/2013
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