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Would you leave your partner if he had a drug addiction problem?

I was just wondering. I would not leave my husband. I would try in every way I can to help my husband kick his drug addiction.

The reason I'm asking this is because Michelle Williams abandoned poor Heath Ledger because his addiction to drugs. And according an article I read, did not want Heath to see Matilda at all (she was working on gaining full parenteral rights).

I was researching Heath's death, and I think (from what I've read) Michelle indirectly murdered him. It was because of the fractured relationship with Michelle and the prospect of not being able to see his daughter that pushed him over the edge.

by Anonymousreply 5805/10/2013

I would renew our vows

by Anonymousreply 105/08/2013

OP, I loathe and despise you.

I would leave you because of your obsession with poor Heath Ledger.

He's been dead for more than five years. What you are doing is not respectful or kind or loving. It's sick and twisted. Let him rest in peace.

by Anonymousreply 205/08/2013

Dirty dealings, like buying stolen car parts, never stay secret for long, especially when the FBI gets involved.

by Anonymousreply 305/08/2013

OP, let me rest in peace. You should give it a rest, too. BOOOOO!

by Anonymousreply 405/08/2013

Yes.

by Anonymousreply 505/08/2013

I know you are a troll BUT

Williams did a lot to help him. They went all the way to Pennsylvania to Hazeltine or whatever it is called but at the last minute he wouldn't go in.

She eventually had to do what was best for the child. Even the custody battle was because she feared he was becoming to irresponsible to take care of the kid alone. I guess she feared he could possibly od.....

Ledger's family has no beef with Williams....why should you?

by Anonymousreply 605/08/2013

LOL @ R1

by Anonymousreply 705/08/2013

WTF? Keeping a junkie away from your kid is not murder. People do fucked up, scary, and wrong things when they are addicted to drugs. At least his chid was spared from an abusive situation, and having to find his corpse one morning! Junkies do not take responsibility for their own actions, they love drugs more than their family and friends.

Also, in all seriousness, I am worried about your mental health.

by Anonymousreply 805/08/2013

Only if he had a drug addiction and showed no interest in getting clean.

by Anonymousreply 905/08/2013

Williams seems to profit from the whole experience though. How many articles or features depict her in a saintly light, as if she deserved every sympathy in the world. Makes me gag, I was sure she was going to get a sympathy Oscar much like Ledger's undeserved posthumous win.

by Anonymousreply 1005/08/2013

please die r10.

by Anonymousreply 1105/08/2013

call a doctor op.....get some help.

by Anonymousreply 1405/08/2013

I love The Heath Ledger Troll. To me, he's almost as funny as Mrs. Patsy Ramsey.

by Anonymousreply 1605/08/2013

Who is Heath Ledger?

by Anonymousreply 1705/08/2013

yes.

by Anonymousreply 1805/08/2013

[quote]I just want to find out once and for all what exactly caused his death.

He ODed. Its one of those boring and predictable things junkies tend to do.

by Anonymousreply 1905/08/2013

R20 Junkies are selfish people who care only about getting their next fix. He was going to die by his own hand at some time. The best thing the mother of his children could do is keep them far away from that train wreck.

by Anonymousreply 2105/08/2013

R20, an example of wishful thinking. I adored River Phoenix. River Phoenix had his little brother with him, that didn't stop him from taking too many drugs and dying of it. At a certain point, it takes a lethal dose to feel anything.

by Anonymousreply 2205/08/2013

If a drug addict doesn't commit themselves toward abstinence, or fails consistently, yeah, I'd be out. I grew up with alkie/addict parents, and nobody gets out whole.

by Anonymousreply 2305/08/2013

Michelle knew Heath Leger?

by Anonymousreply 2405/08/2013

You can hear the tragic 9-11 call Joaquin Phoenix had to make for his own brother. I have a hard time imagining a more traumatic experience.

Drugs are not as big a sacrifice as your own life and the people you affect.

by Anonymousreply 2505/08/2013

[quote]Michelle indirectly murdered him

Good for her. Not that that's true, but if it were, good for her. The world is better place without him.

by Anonymousreply 2605/08/2013

I really don't understand the nature of drug abuse. So what you R22 are saying is that takes more and more drugs to get same "high" as time progresses?

by Anonymousreply 2705/08/2013

yep r27.....you build up a tolerance and you need more and more....(not just with drugs to get high---I once built up a tolerance to an antihistamine type pill)

by Anonymousreply 2805/08/2013

[quote]I'm just about wrapping it up. I'm planning to stop thinking about him soon enough. I just want to find out once and for all what exactly caused his death.

In other words, as soon as you've absolutely convinced yourself that he was a saint walking among us whose fate was entirely attributable to the evil people around him, then you'll start wrapping things up.

This is really neurotic behavior, OP.

by Anonymousreply 2905/08/2013

R27 Over time your body builds up a tolerance for the drugs so the amount you take needs to increase in order to get the same high. Eventually the dosage is more than the body can physically stand and it kills you.

by Anonymousreply 3005/08/2013

Maybe OP is also a junkie. Junkies are famous for never taking responsibility for their actions. They are always blaming their troubles on other people.

by Anonymousreply 3105/08/2013

OP, if you ever lived with an addict you might understand better. Blaming everyone and everything in their life is quite common, they're just looking for an excuse to get high/drunk.

by Anonymousreply 3205/08/2013

R27, yes. The people in denial about Kurt Cobain often claim he had too much heroin in his system to operate a weapon, but a real junkie will have withdrawal WITHOUT quantities that would kill a normal person.

by Anonymousreply 3305/08/2013

OP, would you feel the same about Ledger if he'd rolled over and smothered his baby daughter as she slept?

Because you know a junkie like him would keep the child in bed with him rather than going back and forth to her bedroom to check on her. Getting high took priority, not the kid.

by Anonymousreply 3405/08/2013

Are you a male or female op?

by Anonymousreply 3505/09/2013

I agree with R23. OP is what people in Alanon and other family of addicts support groups refer to as an enabler.

Enablers think that they're helping someone by acting "supportive" but really they're just enabling them to continue on their path of destruction. Any form of support that isn't a step towards rehab/recovery is just making matters worse and that includes providing food, shelter and money. If they are using and you are in any way aiding their survival in that continued state, then you have allowed yourself to become a part of the problem.

Also, how do you expect to have a good relationship with someone like an addict/alcoholic when they can't even have a good relationship with themselves?

by Anonymousreply 3605/09/2013

OP, you are choosing not to believe the truth. Furthermore, you have given us no reason to think you will ever believe the truth.

Nothing will change for you until you accept that Heath Ledger died by his own hand and that no one else caused his death.

It doesn't matter what Michelle Williams (or anyone else) did. Williams did not put pills in Ledger's mouth. He did that himself.

by Anonymousreply 3705/09/2013

Ledger is a footnote, nothing more.

by Anonymousreply 3805/09/2013

"Man is disturbed not by things, but by the views he takes of them." (Ench. 5)

by Anonymousreply 3905/09/2013

I'll answer your actual question. No, I would not stay with an addict if I felt that my staying with him would discourage him from getting help. Because then I'm just making his addiction more comfortable. Addicts frequently have to lose everything (family, relationships, children, jobs, money) before they choose to get help. Surely you've heard of the term rock bottom. The problem is some addicts are not able to recover before they kill themselves.

It was an act of love that Michelle Williams left Heath and kept him from her daughter. It was her hope that he'd clean up his act and they could be together again. She knew that staying with him would not help Heath at all. And the side loss was her life and the life of her child would be severely impacted by staying with him (in his junkie mode) as well.

She did the right thing.

Noone can fix another person. Each has to want to fix themselves and be accountable, and then you can offer someone support toward that goal, but you can't do the work for them.

Okay, OP, you're closing it up now. Let this be the last post. Say goodbye to Heath who probably had many nice qualities, but wasn't able to win that gamble of playing with drugs vs. keeping a body functioning.

by Anonymousreply 4005/09/2013

I did, OP. 18 years of watching some kill themselves is exhausting. 18 years of being lied to. 18 years of having your partner nod out drooling on himself while you're trying to have a conversation, never being able to rely on him for anything, stealing your prescriptions, trying to break into your house, abscessed veins even on his forehead, etc. Does that sound like something you'd enjoy sticking around for? Driving him to the hospital only for him to deny he was making suicide threats and have the staff dismiss him only for him to continue making suicide threats on the drive home? Banging on your door for 12 hours nonstop and the police telling you they can't do anything until he stabs you?

by Anonymousreply 4105/09/2013

I met a man who had been a coke addict, till a year before I met him . My fear, at first, was that would relapse. He did not . He told me, when we met, he would never touch the stuff again - he never did. We were together almost 25 years, and he never was tempted. He always said that he had hurt himself, and others, and would not ever do it again. I feel he was th exception though. Just posting this to acknowledge that it is possible, and everyone is different.

by Anonymousreply 4205/09/2013

R42, he was clean when you met him. Huge difference. We're talking about people who've shown no inclination to do anything about their addiction.

by Anonymousreply 4305/09/2013

Terry Gilliam in Vanity Fair basically said that Heath dumped Michelle months before his death because he was tired of her.

by Anonymousreply 4405/10/2013

" I would not leave my husband. I would try in every way I can to help my husband kick his drug addiction. "

Then you are such a fool that you're inviting Madame Karma (the bitch) to send you a lesson in the form of a junkie boyfriend. If you ever had first-hand experience with a junkie you'd realize that Ledger thought that his drugs were more important than his relationship with Michelle, thought the drugs were more important than his relationship with his daughter, and thought the drugs were more important that life itself!

Now, aren't you glad you started this thread?

by Anonymousreply 4505/10/2013

"but he wouldn't have ODed if he had his daughter with him for the holidays"

Bullshit! He probably would have told himself that he needed more drugs to cope with the stress of acting like a father. That's how addicts behave, you know, the drugs take over their brain to the point where their reaction to any stimulus is "I need more drugs!". If he felt stress from being denied a visit, he'd react by wanting more drugs. If he felt stress from having a small child around, he'd react by wanting more drugs.

As to what killed him, OP, it was probably opiate-induced respiratory depression, something you should read up on if you're stuck on his death. He had pneumonia, so his lungs weren't delivering as much oxygen as usual, and if a dose of something send him to a state of sleep with depressed respirations, he could easily have gone from sleep to a coma as he went from poor oxygenation to respiratory acidosis. He could have died without waking up, all due to the drugs.

Imagine if the child was in the house when he did that to himself.

by Anonymousreply 4605/10/2013

Drug-addicted individuals need to be given an ultimatum. Many will not get the help that they need until they hit rock-bottom.

As a teenager,I witnessed my addict stepfather completely disintegrating and my mother acting as an enabler. It wasn't until an intervention in which she finally made it clear that she would divorce him that he got help.

by Anonymousreply 4705/10/2013

A good parent wouldn't want her child exposed to the kind of people with whom Ledger was associating.

[quote]Terry Gilliam in Vanity Fair basically said that Heath dumped Michelle months before his death because he was tired of her.

He probably was tired of her attempts to get him to stop using. His druggie friends were probably much more exciting to be around than the mother of a small child.

by Anonymousreply 4805/10/2013

OP - why do you keep posting? What's this sick fixation you have with Michelle Williams? You don't know any of these people and, even worse, you are passing judgment in a decidedly un-entertaining way which goes against everything DataLounge exists for.

by Anonymousreply 4905/10/2013

This is nothing. My husbear has two coffees in a row, right out in the open. Even if my friends are having a berry cup after a slumber party, there he is, stinking of caffeine and pretzels.

by Anonymousreply 5005/10/2013

R49, OP said in one of his many Heath Ledger threads that he's looking for proof of HL's cause of death.

He seems to be fishing for anyone who will tell him that Michelle Williams was to blame.

by Anonymousreply 5105/10/2013

I always assumed Heath Ledger killed himself in order to give the Heath Ledger Troll something to justify her existence.

by Anonymousreply 5205/10/2013

Depends on the drug, how hot he was, and if he was a mess or kept his abuse to the weekend.

by Anonymousreply 5305/10/2013

It would depend on the addiction. Marijuana, downers/prescription painkillers, I could handle as long as the guy had enough money to sustain the habit and wasn't violent. Alcohol--probably, because it's so unpredictable. Cocaine, crack, meth, heroin: I would DEFINITELY leave him, and that's based on experience. I dated a guy who became addicted to cocaine and then crack, and it changed his personality completely--probably damaged his brain. He once threatened to kill me if I ever tried to leave him, which was the last straw in that relationship. I called his mother to tell her how he was spending the money she was sending him, and that she needed to cut him off. After that I left the state.

by Anonymousreply 5405/10/2013

She left him because he was fucking a lot of other chicks too at the time. He was never exclusively hers, he never wanted to be saddled with a child immediately into a relationship. He wasn't smart enough to use a condom. There are no winners here. He wasn't ready to settle down.

by Anonymousreply 5505/10/2013

[quote]Then you are such a fool that you're inviting Madame Karma

Karma? Really? Why are people such bizarre, superstitious pagans with this "karma" foolishess?

by Anonymousreply 5605/10/2013

[quote]Enablers think that they're helping someone by acting "supportive" but really they're just enabling them to continue on their path of destruction.

It's even worse. All too often, the enablers pick up some of the characteristics of the person they're enabling, exhibiting signs of mental illness of their own.

by Anonymousreply 5705/10/2013

Yes..

by Anonymousreply 5805/10/2013
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