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Anyone here play golf?

Because I need some advice. I've never been on a golf course in my life and I've been invited to become part of a group that's doing a two-week golf tour in CA and Nevada. All I've been told is that no jeans are allowed, I need a collar shirt, and no one will make fun of me if I can't hit the ball. I will try once. If I suck, I'll just drive the cart. But can anyone give me some golf-course etiquette? Like if I'm stuck in a sand trap and someone asks to "play through" and I say Fuck Off, that would be considered impolite, right? I mean not that I would ever do that, because I'm a nice person, but the clothes. Do I have to look like Ronald MacDonald, or is that Old School?

by Anonymousreply 1605/09/2013

Just drive the cart OP. you could go to the driving range to practice and take a lesson or two before the trip . If it were me I'd just drive the cart and relax.

by Anonymousreply 105/07/2013

Agree. There is too much to learn, and you'll be miserable without a proper itroduction to the game.

by Anonymousreply 205/07/2013

Dear Lord, find another use for your vacation dollars!

Spending two weeks on fucking golf courses is something only serious golf nuts can stand, anyone else will be so bored they'd be setting fire to the golf cart after three days. And it'll be socially awkward. If it turns out you like golf you'll be the beginner than nobody wants to play with, and if you don't you'll be the one person there who desperately wants to do something else. Anything else.

by Anonymousreply 305/08/2013

collared shirts check

if wearing shorts, they must be Bermuda length

People don't regularly ask to play through. Your foursome would have to be slower than cold molasses for that to happen.

Male golfers curse with vigor. But it is at their equipment or their own play. I was playing with a guy once, a very good golfer, who every time he hit the ball muttered "OH FUCK ME".

Betting and beer drinking are practically required in male play. The club will send you beverages and light food to your location at any time.

It is a very male bonding experience. I'm not sure why that is, but you may actually end up shopping for clubs and taking lessons eventually!

by Anonymousreply 405/08/2013

Go ahead and play, OP. you'll give these guys the biggest laughs of their lives.

by Anonymousreply 505/08/2013

You will suck. Bad.

You just have to enjoy the scenery because most golf courses are beautiful.

by Anonymousreply 605/09/2013

I was in a similar situation years ago. I took a lesson (I learned how to grip the club, etc.), then spent some time at the driving range hitting balls, took another lesson, then went for a long weekend (4 days) of golf. A friend of mine had advised me to practice with an iron (I chose #7) and a wood (I can't remember if it was a 2 or 3) so I would get a feel for them and how far I could hit with them. You can also watch videos on how to swing the club (the Bobby Jones ones are on YT and are classics).

The most useful advice I received in the beginning was that I should always try to hit straight and not worry so much about the distance. This worked well for me (but maybe not for all), because I could hit the ball straight, whereas the more experienced guys were going for distance and ended up in the trees or somewhere far away from the hole. The guys played with were okay and didn't give me a hard time; in fact they began encouraging me when they saw how I was improving after a few rounds. I didn't play up to their level, but I didn't completely embarrass myself and I eventually took it up as a sport.

Since you're there for 2 weeks, you might as well take additional lessons at whatever resort you are at. You will definitely improve as you continue to play over that time period and get a feel for what clubs you need for each situation. If you just drive the cart, you will be bored stiff after a few days while the others are out having a great time.

As for rules/regs, Google is your friend. Also, the guys you play with will fill you in.

by Anonymousreply 705/09/2013

OP when I started playing, I never hesitated to pick up my ball if it kept things moving.

by Anonymousreply 805/09/2013

Thanks guys. Appreciate the responses. The trip is a month away now.

[quote]Male golfers curse with vigor. But it is at their equipment or their own play. I was playing with a guy once, a very good golfer, who every time he hit the ball muttered "OH FUCK ME".

Cracking me up here. Actually sounds like my buddy.

[quote]Betting and beer drinking are practically required in male play. The club will send you beverages and light food to your location at any time.

You must be one of the guys in my group. This was explained to me. Is golf an excuse to get wasted in the daytime? He also told me he drinks martinis and likes to toke up on the greens too, but more discreetly. I'm not a big drinker but I like a little weed.

Here's a little of what I was told:

[quote]Blue Jeans are not welcome. Button shirts, Polo Shirts, nice slacks...But also, bring your beachy clothes. You have beaches near Pelican Hill and Pebble Beach. Shoes should be tennis shoes and dress shoes. Lots of driving ahead. Comfortable travel wear. Fetish Gear.

Fetish gear is a joke, right?

[quote]The most useful advice I received in the beginning was that I should always try to hit straight and not worry so much about the distance.

Was always picked last for sports. I have no understanding of any sport. I am, however, pretty good at miniature golf.

I keep browsing the golf books at B&N but then moving on. I will attempt to feign interest. It sounds very picturesque and so I agree...sit back and enjoy the view and spare them my klutzy attempts. Actually, I think that's my friend's idea. He needs a cart-filler

[quote]They force a single player to play AND ride along with strangers. Which can be uncomfortable...most of the time. So I always bring a friend to fill the seat in my golf car.

So thanks for all the notes. I guess I better learn how to mix a martini. I've researched these resorts we're going to and there is NO way I'm embarrassing myself in any of these places.

by Anonymousreply 905/09/2013

A woman is taking her first golf lesson. The pro shows her how to hold the club, how to position her feet, and how to swing the club. Finally he puts a ball down and tells her to take a swing.

She swings and hits the ball about 30 feet to the right. He says “Well, not bad for your first time. Here, try it again.” She swings and this time it goes about 25 feet and curves towards the left.

Pro says, “I think I see your problem. You're afraid of the club. Forget that it's a golf club, and pretend it's your husband's penis.”

He puts down another ball, she swings the club, and it goes sailing 300 yards straight down the fairway and lands about 10 feet from the hole.

The pro looks at where the ball landed, he looks at the woman, he thinks a minute, and then he says, “That was quite a shot. But now take the club out of your mouth and let's try it again.”

by Anonymousreply 1005/09/2013

A 2 week golf vacation? I'd rather eat glass.

by Anonymousreply 1105/09/2013

I'm planning on taking it up (I have some friends who play several times a week; we're all retired) but I need to lose some weight first.

But after I start, I'm only going to play on public courses where all of these clothing restrictions don't apply.

by Anonymousreply 1205/09/2013

OP, you need to at least go to a driving range and hit a few. It would also help if you could go to your local public golf course, and see if someone will show you how to stand and swing. You really do have to learn that. And try to get some basic understanding of which clubs to use and how to use them. Then learn golf etiquette. It isn't hard, it's based on basic courtesy.

So, that's your task: Hit a few at the driving range so you at least feel comfortable out there; get some basic instructions on how to stand and swing, get some idea about clubs and all the different shapes, etc.

Oh. One more thing. Learn the terminology. What is a birdie? What is "par" What's a bogie? etc. It's not that hard. And some actual hands on exposure you may discover you really like it, or you may discover that you are completely unwilling to go on this vacation because it will truly suck. That's how golf is. You love it or you hate it.

by Anonymousreply 1305/09/2013

Don't be a chatterbox on the golf course, OP. Especially when it's someone else's turn to swing.

by Anonymousreply 1405/09/2013

There are so many things that can go wrong when you swing a club. Teeing off, power is important, while putting requires the soft touch. Not to mention wind conditions, hazards, and the lay of the land. You always need finesse.

The better you get, the more it can mess with your head.

It's a game you can play your whole life and never master.

by Anonymousreply 1505/09/2013

Okay. Wow. I don't know. All the words you have to learn and I just know I won't be any good. I have lousy posture to begin with. My brother is coming down from Buffalo and he plays well. He can show me some other time. I misrepresented the trip a little bit. It's supposed to be more than a golf trip. A Road Trip. After Pebble Beach we go to SF, Yosemite, Las Vegas and LA where we all end up in Santa Monica. No golf in SF, Yosemite or LA. I'm a car guy and I got the last Camaro SS convertible Enterprise had at our starting point in Palm Springs, so I'm psyched. I know I'll get to see some great things. I don't have to pay the golf fees since I'm a cart-filler for my buddy, plus I get to drive the cart! It's all good.

by Anonymousreply 1605/09/2013
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