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We have a POOP BANDIT on our hands



Your Help Needed

Dear ----- ------- Students and Faculty,

There has been a problem lately in the 2nd and 3rd floor men's restrooms of HUMAN WASTE deposited on the floor and not in the toilet.

In order to find out who is doing this and stop it, we need to be notified IMMEDIATELY if anyone sees that this has occurred. We will be able to access door security code and building camera records do discover who had recent access to the hallways leading to these bathrooms just before the incidents.

Please IMMEDIATELY call the facilities hotline at --- --- ---- if you see this problem or any other building problems.

by Anonymousreply 1805/04/2013

Crazy fucking people.

by Anonymousreply 105/03/2013

Actually, this is potentially discrimination against a person with Crohn's

by Anonymousreply 205/03/2013

[quote]We have a POOP BANDIT on our hands!

For God's sake, Mary, get your shit together!

by Anonymousreply 305/03/2013

Shitty Little Ann is a coed!

by Anonymousreply 405/04/2013

Oooh, a mystery. Who is the Butt-ler?

by Anonymousreply 505/04/2013

Someone contact Tina Belcher immediately

by Anonymousreply 605/04/2013

Really, R2? Because last time I checked, there were toilets in bathrooms that you could poop in.

by Anonymousreply 705/04/2013

My boyfriend reported the latest incident. They're asking him to come in for questioning to "find the culprit".

by Anonymousreply 805/04/2013

Where's my personal assistant? I want corn removed from my diet immediately! I must leave no evidence.

by Anonymousreply 905/04/2013

You are the person doing this.

Stop it

by Anonymousreply 1005/04/2013

They never catch them. We got a similar note about somebody clogging all the toilets with rolls of t.p. and they never caught him.

by Anonymousreply 1105/04/2013

Must be a foreign exchange student.

by Anonymousreply 1205/04/2013

Probably, R12, but it was funny. :-)

by Anonymousreply 1305/04/2013

We have pictures of you so-called poopers. And just because the pictures aren’t of your faces doesn’t mean we can’t identify you. At this very moment those pictures are on their way to Washington where the FBI has experts in this type of identification. If you turn yourselves in now, you may escape a Federal charge.

by Anonymousreply 1405/04/2013

Men are nasty beasts.

by Anonymousreply 1505/04/2013

Once again, this is clearly part of the Midget Manifesto. Normal size toilets are an issue for them, so they shit on the floor. They also steal all toilet paper and paper towels on the way out. This is often unreported due to the midget fecal festival they leave behind.

The midgets are gaining strength. Dark days are ahead.

by Anonymousreply 1605/04/2013

Indeed R15.

by Anonymousreply 1705/04/2013

OP? Are we talking about a tidy gift, a woeful puddling, or a luntatic smear with stars and words fingered into it across the floor. Or ice skate blade marks cutting hearts into the excrement?

If the tidy gift, is there any glitter left on top? Because you can tell a lot about the Doonator by whether or not the glitter is just added on top or if it is infused throughout. The latter requires real commitment, and about 18 hours.

Finally, DO NOT call this person a POOP BANDIT. Because she is not taking anything from anyone. She is giving something back. Like the Robin Hood of bowel movements.

Nevertheless, I'd kill her.

by Anonymousreply 1805/04/2013
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