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How can you tell if someone is a bottom?

Why do gays have to wait til they're in the bedroom to find out?

I'm dating an older guy who is rather soft-spoken and worries about his weight. I really can't imagine him grabbing my ass and making me his personal buttpig. We haven't discussed what we like in the bedroom yet.

My experience is bottoms are very aggressive in persuing a guy who might be a top (there are so few). And that describes him: puppy dog enthusiasm.

I can be versatile, but if the other guy is a total bottom I think it would be boring for me.

by Anonymousreply 6307/31/2013

What makes you imagine you have to wait to find out ? Why waste his time and yours, if you'd find a total bottom unacceptable ? you have a voice, ask the guy ! The longer you spin this out, the more you'll hurt his feelings if you dump him coz he won't fuck your ass.

by Anonymousreply 105/01/2013

[quote]Why do gays have to wait til they're in the bedroom to find out?

Maybe you should rephrase that to "Why am I uncomfortable talking about my sexual activity preferences?" or maybe "Why do I ignore my hunch that this person will be disappointing to me sexually, preferring instead to deny, deny, deny until a crisis is arrived at?"

As R1 said:

[quote]you have a voice, ask the guy !

by Anonymousreply 205/01/2013

Put your ear to their hole and see if you can hear the ocean.

by Anonymousreply 305/01/2013

Just ask him. Whats the worse that could happen?

by Anonymousreply 405/01/2013



by Anonymousreply 505/01/2013

1. Gay Voice

2. Obsessed with fashion and/or dance

3. Always ogling masculine straight guys

4. Madonna or Lady Gaga fan

5. Drives a typically gay car, aka: Mazda Miata, VW Golf, BMW 3 Series (The rich ones).

6. Gossipy and talkative

7. Many "Bimbo type" females in tow

8. Regular patron of live theater or the ballet

9. Constant desire to move to/visit NYC

10. Cliche body language

by Anonymousreply 605/02/2013

His name is Bradley.

by Anonymousreply 705/02/2013

You'll never know OP. You'll never know until you ask or sleep with him.

by Anonymousreply 805/02/2013

I score 3/10 in r6's list, and I am a total soles-pointed-to-heaven, screaming bottom. I'd have it no other way.

by Anonymousreply 905/02/2013

They trail farts when they walk.

by Anonymousreply 1005/02/2013

LOL @ R3.

Back when I was slutty, I would tell a guy I was picking up if I felt like topping or bottoming. If he was on board, great, off we go.

by Anonymousreply 1105/02/2013

Just assume at least 90% bottoms at any Gay event and the statistical average will back you up. (much higher during fashion week).

by Anonymousreply 1205/02/2013

You can tell that someone is a total bottom if he can't spell "pursue" correctly.

by Anonymousreply 1305/02/2013

R4, time to learn the difference between worse and worst.

by Anonymousreply 1405/02/2013

There are two types of gay men, bottoms and liars.

by Anonymousreply 1505/02/2013

[quote] How can you tell if someone is a bottom?

Snail trails on the Naugahyde upholstery.

Or is that " How can you tell if someone is a woman?"

by Anonymousreply 1605/03/2013

Gay Voice is your best bet.

by Anonymousreply 1705/03/2013

My partner is 6ft 1, hairy, handsome, Macho Kind of man.

We met 16 years ago and I was or I thought I was A bottom all the way.

After a year he wants me to fuck him! OK I'll give it a try and I did.

Well it turns out HE is a big old bottom so now I am the top!!

Actually it doesn't really matter. We have a lot of fun and there are now No rules. Those are just labels anyway,

by Anonymousreply 1805/03/2013

We call that a Muscle Mary R18.

by Anonymousreply 1905/03/2013

HA! He'll love that!

by Anonymousreply 2005/03/2013

Back in the day we didn't to guess we'd just check the back pocket. For those too young too remember, here's some information.

by Anonymousreply 2105/03/2013

Their farts are silent but deadly.

by Anonymousreply 2205/03/2013

A couple of celebs I was surprised to find out are tops.

Clay Aiken

Chris Colfer

So I guess it is best if you can discuss right off the bat.

I can bottom but I much prefer to top and that feels more natural for me.

by Anonymousreply 2305/03/2013

You wake up and his ass is on your dick.

by Anonymousreply 2405/03/2013

winking anus alert!!!!!

by Anonymousreply 2505/03/2013

R23 making stuff up again......

by Anonymousreply 2605/03/2013

Adam Lambert confirmed years ago that he is a top

same with Chris Colfer

by Anonymousreply 2705/03/2013

Colfer was also the subject of a BI about an actor/producer/writer(?) everyone would be surprised to find out was a top and who expected one of the people he was hiring to put out before he got the part.

by Anonymousreply 2805/03/2013

I find if they have their ass in the air or their legs around their ears it's generally a good indicator. Mind you, there was that embarrassing trick with the gymnast yogi.

by Anonymousreply 2905/03/2013

Blonds and redheads bottom for brunettes.

by Anonymousreply 3005/03/2013

The bigger the cock, the bigger the bottom.

by Anonymousreply 3105/03/2013

The real question is, how can you tell if your bottom is a someone?

by Anonymousreply 3205/03/2013

If is common for recently out celebrities to say they are tops. It is an ago thing. Coming out as a bottom takes much more time.

by Anonymousreply 3305/04/2013

But baby if I'm the bottom, you're the top.

by Anonymousreply 3405/04/2013

You really don't know, OP, until you ask or go to bed with him.

Years ago, i brought a young, sweet Asian boy home with me. I'm a top, and admit that I believed the stereotype drivel I had heard about Asians. Imagine my surprise when he flipped me over and aggressively topped me. He had the hardest cock I've ever experienced and drilled me like a jackhammer.

I remember him to this day.

by Anonymousreply 3505/04/2013

[quote]How can you tell if someone is a bottom?

The person always has a place for you to park your umbrella when you're visiting.

by Anonymousreply 3605/04/2013

Gaping hol = bottom whore

by Anonymousreply 3705/04/2013

Isn't there some test in which a person is shown images that cause arousal and then their hole is measured for the amount of dilation? I know there's a quick and dirty version to measure reactive looseness by counting how many fingers you can get inside.

by Anonymousreply 3805/04/2013

See if they lie on their stomach in the bedroom.

by Anonymousreply 3905/04/2013

Is there shit on your dick in the morning?

by Anonymousreply 4005/04/2013

Just ask, you fucking asshole.

by Anonymousreply 4105/04/2013

Bottoms come rinsed and pre-lubed.

by Anonymousreply 4205/04/2013

When his hole starts calling you

by Anonymousreply 4305/04/2013

Axe them

by Anonymousreply 4405/15/2013

R6, the only thing I MIGHT have is cliched body image and I'm a total bottom. I do agree it's not a bad list, but exceptions do exist.

by Anonymousreply 4505/15/2013

R6, why would a rich person drive the 3 series?

by Anonymousreply 4605/15/2013

He has a cabinet full of psyllium husks in his kitchen.

by Anonymousreply 4705/15/2013

We have a winner at r47!!!

by Anonymousreply 4805/15/2013

I have never understood the obsession and demand over being a top or being a bottom.

I love sex, and all its forms. If we're talking about anal, I'm more inclined to top, unless the guy has a small dick, then I can be persuaded to bottom.

I'm in a relationship with a guy who is a bottom, but has topped for me a couple times, and it was fun. I have topped for him many times, and it's been fun. We usually blow each other (several times a week), and make out all the time, and are very touchy feely with each other.

I just can't imagine imposing some format on this relationship where I demand to be exclusively topping or bottoming, and that I'd otherwise break up with him if I didn't get my way all the time.

I think many gay men are spoiled and selfish...and don't see the truth - that good sex isn't about strict role play, and good relationships are not about role play at all.

by Anonymousreply 4905/15/2013

I know two different guys that tell everyone they are "total tops", but get 'em in bed and watch what happens. Their legs raise up like they have helium packs attached.

by Anonymousreply 5005/15/2013

He's lying on his stomach in the bathhouse.

Dead giveaway, that.

by Anonymousreply 5105/15/2013

Thanks, #40- you made tea come out my nose!

by Anonymousreply 5205/15/2013

If he waxes his pecs, wears a pink gingham shirt, turquoise belt and white trousers, he's a bottom.

by Anonymousreply 5305/16/2013

If he wears signature "color of the week" colors to work.

by Anonymousreply 5405/16/2013

Thanks, R52. Nothing finer than tea shooting through the nostrils.

by Anonymousreply 5505/16/2013

[quote]I think many gay men are spoiled and selfish...and don't see the truth - that good sex isn't about strict role play, and good relationships are not about role play at all.

"many gay men"? The ONLY ones who are into this role play as you call it -- where people think of themselves as the equivalent of an electrical outlet or a plug -- are in small urban e-ffeminate cliques. 95% of same-sex attracted males just want to have fun with sex.

by Anonymousreply 5605/16/2013

"I have never understood the obsession and demand over being a top or being a bottom. "

Are you new here. This is DataLounge, where the emotional age of the average poster is somewhere between 8 and 13.

One would think gay men would be somewhat enlightened re: sexual matters, but if you've spent any time here you'd know the morons and cases of arrested development who post here can be just as big as neanderthals, maybe even more so, than their straight male counterparts.

by Anonymousreply 5705/16/2013

R49. Some guys, a lot of guys actually, are just wired to like only topping or only bottoming. It's not about not being wild or not experimenting or being selfish or boring of demanding exclusivity. It's just what some people like. I've tried topping. My dick just won't stay hard. I have no idea why. Conversely, my last boyfriend tried bottoming. It only hurt; he achieved zero pleasure from it. I think being versatile is great. But I'm not. Just like I'm not straight or dark haired or short.

by Anonymousreply 5805/16/2013

What is a "passionate" bottom?

by Anonymousreply 5905/16/2013

[quote]95% of same-sex attracted males just want to have fun with sex.

That might be true of gay men under thirty, but if you count ALL gay men, it's more like 68 - 73%.

by Anonymousreply 6005/17/2013

R60, what do the remaining 27-32 percent want, if not to have fun with sex?

Sex should always be fun IMO.

by Anonymousreply 6105/17/2013

If he's a senator from South Carolina, he's a bottom.

by Anonymousreply 6205/18/2013

What's a bottom?

by Anonymousreply 6307/31/2013
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