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Bad Sex

We've zll experienced it. Now confess to it. What was the worst sex you've had and what made it bad?

Did you tell the person? Has some one ever told YOU you gave bad sex?

Spill it here!

by Anonymousreply 8307/16/2014

I got picked up at a bar. I was young and didn't realize it was for sex. I was inexperienced. He was older. He smelled bad. And he took forever to come. Even apologized saying he takes forever to cum. Had to finish himself off because my arm got tired. I never wanted to be there to start with, I just went through with it because I sorta felt trapped and was clueless. He pestered me for a while, not taking 'no' for an answer really. Obviously wanted to date me. Couldn't have been more wrong for me if he tried. I remember not being able to get his smell off of me that first day. Took three showers.

by Anonymousreply 104/27/2013

What did you think was going to happen? He was going to sell you Amway?

by Anonymousreply 204/27/2013

Like most very young women with very young men, the three pump chump is the worst.

by Anonymousreply 304/27/2013

Weirdly, the worst for me was a guy that I had known for a while. We got along famously and decided to fuck.

It was creepy-like fucking a relative or something. I can't put my finger on what it was exactly but both of us were pretty creeped out about it and we never did it again.

by Anonymousreply 404/27/2013

I'm fortunate... I've never had any worse than adequate sex. Recall these three winners from friends though:

a guy who aggressively pursued my friend, who liked him back. The first time (only) they got naked the pursuer couldn't get it up the whole time and then wanted cuddle time to talk about how much he wanted to be boyfriends.

A guy who would only do a few things naked, only in the dark, and it was so awful my friend faked an orgasm in the dark and the guy fell for it even though there was no spunk.

The top known among our friends as the epileptic jackhammer top. Technique wasn't a strong suit.

by Anonymousreply 504/27/2013

I don't understand how people can be really bad in bed. It's a fairly straightforward thing.

by Anonymousreply 604/27/2013

Apparently not, r6. See R5.

One of my female friends had r5's guy happen to her. He chased and chased her so she invited him over one night.

They get naked then he starts CRYING about his ex wife and just "wants to talk".

She was so pissed she told him to leave and that she would bill him for the therapy session.

What a cretin.

by Anonymousreply 704/27/2013

LOL - I was R5 and R6!

I still don't get how people can be technically bad at sex, whatever their head issues. None of its difficult when you think about it. Once you've mastered open mouth, kneel and spread legs, you've pretty much mastered the basics, whatever you're up to.

by Anonymousreply 804/27/2013

Usually their "head" issues get in the way of getting hard.

Especially the whole crying shit.

by Anonymousreply 904/27/2013

[quote]What did you think was going to happen? He was going to sell you Amway?

R2, we were having a conversation at the bar, and the bar had last call and was closing. It was a great conversation, and he suggested we continue it back at his place. I actually thought we were just going to keep talking.

I was young and naïve. There hadn't been any real overt flirting or anything sexual... and as I wasn't really attracted to him, I wasn't even thinking along those lines.

by Anonymousreply 1004/27/2013

For me it was always that moment in a relationship when, while we were having sex, I realized I was no longer attracted, and my dick gave me away. I could always tell it was coming -- and that I wouldn't be -- when I started making "to-do" lists in my head.

by Anonymousreply 1104/27/2013

I was with a guy who didn't really like other people touching his dick. He got himself off, but when he was climaxing, he grabbed my chest with his free hand so hard, it really really hurt, I had to push his arm away from me, but he kept clutching me and moaning like a woman giving birth. We stopped dating soon after.

by Anonymousreply 1204/27/2013

I was 19, I think. Freshman in college, NYU. Up until that age being gay was all about sucking cock. That's what I loved and that was pretty much my entire sexual portfolio. Sucking cock and getting my cock sucked.

One night, at the infamous Uncle Charlie's, I got cruised by this very handsome older guy. Very fit, very hot and probably in his 40's. He was visiting from Houston, Texas. Eventually, we're back in my dorm room (Weinstein, the cinderblock dorm off Washington Square)(my roommate was away that weekend). At any rate, we commenced to suck and be sucked - and that was all pretty hot and good. His dick was HUGE.

Then, in bed, I was on my back and next thing I know, he's got my legs in the air and he starts to insert his cock. I tell him that I've never really done that and that I really didn't want to. He said it would be fine. I remember saying, "No, really, I don't want to do that" - and next thing I know his massive cock is all the way in. After a few in-and-out motions, I was able to pull away, and basically ended our date, ushering him out into the hall to find his own way out.

I can still hear the firm closing of the door and the flipping of the deadbolt. I took a long hot shower.

That, my friends, was BAD SEX.

by Anonymousreply 1404/27/2013

I know someone sort of like that, R12. He's a "total bottom" -- and no one can touch his dick but him. I'm like, who'd want to be with you then?

by Anonymousreply 1504/27/2013

Damn. Sounds like r14's started out pretty hot then quickly fell off a cliff.

by Anonymousreply 1604/27/2013

R14 that, my friend, was rape. Sorry that happened to you.

by Anonymousreply 1704/27/2013

I took a guy home from Uncle Charlie's @ 38th & 3rd once who had cutest face and, I would find out, the biggest dick I've still ever seen.

We did all the kissing and sucking and coming we could do, and eventually I fell asleep. I don't know how much later it was -- still dark -- but I woke up as he was starting to thrust himself inside me. I decided to relax, thinking, well, they've all been wanting to do this lately; I might as well get my start with the biggest dick in New York.

I had the time of my life. So did he. We saw each other for awhile, but he was a crazy man and eventually I just stopped showing up. But oh, my fucking God, what a ride it was for awhile. That's what he was, My Fucking God.

by Anonymousreply 1804/27/2013

R18 ≠ Bad sex

R18 = Response to R16

by Anonymousreply 1904/27/2013

R18 didn't understand the assignment.

by Anonymousreply 2004/27/2013

Met some guy on line. We talked for a few weeks and he seemed perfectly normal. I invited him to come to dinner. He shows up and was about 10 - 15 years older than he had led me to believe. I walk out to the driveway to meet him and he gets out of the car with his pants open & unzipped. I looked at him and said "What the hell are you doing?" He said he felt bloated during the car ride and forgot to zip up.

I went into the house and he follows me. I asked if he wanted something to drink before his drive home, hoping he would get the hint that his hiding his age and weird pants thing was not going to make this evening last.

He takes his drink, sits down and starts telling me that he was so happy to finally meet me in person. I was being very quiet and just waiting for him to finish his drink and go. Asks if he can use bathroom. Next thing he comes out stark naked with a hard on. I finally said That this was not going to happen, sorry. He literally drops to his knees and starts pleading that he drove so far and he was so turned on. Could he at least suck me off. No. He refused to get up and finally I said fine just to make him stop. I was too embarrassed to even think about calling the cops. I had only moved in about 2 months prior and didn't want my neighbors to get freaked out.

He crawls over, undoes my pants and starts sucking my cock. Now, I am average size no huge monster cock...but he starts to gag. Then tells me he has never actually had sex with a man before and having a dick in his mouth feels really weird.

At that point I told him to get dressed and leave. Thirty minutes of him begging me to let him try again before I finally threatened calling the police if he didn't get the hell out. He finally dressed and left. I ended up having to change my phone number because he would call several times a week to apologize and ask to try again.

Never had someone to house again until we had met in person in a public place.

by Anonymousreply 2104/27/2013

I met a guy on a phone chat line (yeah, that long ago). I drove to his apartment. It was a dump. His bed was just a mattress on the floor. He had just got a puppy a few days before. While we 69ing, the puppy jumped on the bed and stuck it's cold nose in my ass. He locked the dog in the bathroom but he (the puppy)cried so much I told him to let him. Later, we were having sex, I accidentally kicked the puppy, who had fallen asleep on the floor at the end of the mattress.

by Anonymousreply 2204/27/2013

The guy had a 1" cock when erect. I was shocked its all penis head. He's white and about 6' 2 husky.

by Anonymousreply 2404/27/2013

R23, you're a fucked up guy if you think that's believable.

by Anonymousreply 2504/27/2013

[R25] We don't believe it is true. That's why we didn't comment on it. However we do believe it is very entertaining. Brava Bonnie! Brava!

by Anonymousreply 2604/27/2013

Puppy surprise anal.

by Anonymousreply 2704/27/2013

R23 is a pretty good writer though. A good story is all in the details. Too bad the climax of the story didn't work.

by Anonymousreply 2804/27/2013

R23 is way off base. Actual lesbian bad sex? 1) I hooked up with a girl and realized that she had no skill at kissing (foreplay is big with us lesbos). Her technique was like a pecking bird. Her head dipping in and out, hard lips pursed....we persisted, eventually getting connected in a mathematical fashion (69)... Where it turned out her kissing technique translated well.

So not totally bad.

by Anonymousreply 2904/27/2013

At leasr you got past the pecking. I don't think I could have laated that long.

by Anonymousreply 3004/28/2013

I love you, Bonnie Mace!

by Anonymousreply 3104/28/2013

I was 16, in a video arcade for the first time, got into a booth with one tall, hunky black guy, kissed, he went down on me, I went down on his huge cock, came up for breath, kissed him some more, he swung me around, full shoved his dick into my virgin boy-hole and started to fuck like a rabbit.

I screamed,"get that out of me!!!" and he withdrew and quickly left.

I passed out in front of the bar next door, The Glory Hole, of all things.

Funny, it was bad sex, but I remember having my cherry popped by one handsome black man as not a bad thing.

I chalk it up to inexperience.

by Anonymousreply 3204/28/2013

R23 I didn't think I could ever do the reading of a lesbo encounter, especially a lurid one. But I made it through! Thanks.

* warning, gross

As for mine .. I can't believe I'm typing it out after all these years but here goes. ohgod. Partner and I were back in our home town for a visit, at a gay bar we'd never been to before. Are there dive gay bars? This was two steps below that. The few mostly elderly patrons were watching a movie. We went to the restroom, way too drunk by that time, I offer as my only excuse. There was a naked man in there who was at least youngish and normally proportioned, so in my state he was fuckable. I had never even imagined doing it in a bathroom before but figured this is a gay bar, not likely the police will be running a sting in here at least. Nor is "management" going to inspect for lewdness. So, we did some lewdness. ohgod. Not hardly soon enough, I realized this guy I had just started fucking and partner was holding up was a filthy, insane, blotto-drunk, drooling, babbling thing I couldn't get out of and away from fast enough. Not fast enough. The worst was yet to come ... out. I can't type the rest. The feverish unsuccessful sink washing, the creeping back and out of the bar, the rapid snowshoe walk back to the hotel, the Olympic! (ohgod I'm so sorry Seattle) fershitsakes, the ride up in the elevator (alone, thank you thank you Lawd.) The rest was a lengthy attempt to reclaim what had been my fastidiousness, using everything in our luggage and room that was remotely chemical, and so much more.

We slunk out of own and didn't return for years.

by Anonymousreply 3304/28/2013

R33 - huh?

by Anonymousreply 3404/28/2013

Got naked with this guy and we are making out and getting sexed up. He starts sucking my neck. I'm pissed, you just don't give someone a hickey. I said no, yet he did it again and again, kind of went fucking crazy trying to hickey my neck. That was the end of that.

You would not believe what my neck looked like. I worked in a hospital. I had heard you can draw the blood out of the hickey with a mustard pack made from the dry. I tried that and burned my neck, nearly blistered it. Now I have more than one problem. It took several weeks for this to clear up completely. I wore a turtle neck shirt of some kind every day. Redness still showed over the collar.

by Anonymousreply 3504/28/2013

True story, no shit, (well, actually....)

Twenty years ago, I was around 30, still pretty cute, already quite sexually experienced and going through a slutty, kinky phase. I'd had a tough work day out of town, and in spite of an upset stomach, was feeling horny. So I went to the only bath house in town, a run-down place that I'd skanked around before.

I had just arrived and got to my room, and was starting to unpack my bag. I'd pulled out a giant dildo, a frat paddle, a ball gag and a nasty set of nipple clamps, none of which I'd yet used. I think I bought them at the local sex shop as souvenirs of the trip.

Suddenly, there was this super hot guy at my door. He looked at the toys laying out on the bed, and immediately stepped inside. He shut the door and commanded, "Get undressed. NOW."

Who was I to argue? Very quickly, he had the ball gag in my mouth and the nipple clamps on; they HURT like HELL, but that just made him bolder. He shoved me down on the bed and starting wailing on my ass with the frat paddle. It was all going so fast that my head was spinning, and I was just trying to get the ball gag out of my mouth so I could tell him to stop, or at least SLOW DOWN. I mean, fuck!

My ass was SORE, and I really didn't know what to do, when WHAM, that giant dildo went up my ass, no warning, NO LUBE. Suddenly, the nipple clamps didn't hurt anymore because my asshole was ON FIRE. I was sort of screaming through the ball gag, but that just made him mad.

"You wouldn't have brought all this kinky stuff if you didn't want it used on you, you whining little pansy!" And he started fucking me with the dildo, fast and hard.

That's when I became aware of a very nasty smell filling the room. It was SHIT. MY shit. Lots and lots of upset-stomach liquid shit.

For a minute, he kept up the tough guy act, but it became too much for him, and he gagged.

"Don't move," he barked, and he quickly left. The dildo popped out of my ass, along with more shit. Now I gagged.

Somehow, I pulled myself together, got cleaned up, and later that night had a truly hot encounter with a real top/daddy. As for the other guy, I bet he still gags when he thinks about it.

by Anonymousreply 3604/28/2013

A few years back I was supporting myself as an escort. One of my assignments was a major film actor (one that's been mentioned on DL many, many, many, many times). First rule: I was unable to make eye contact with him at any time. I had to sign a contract stating that I would never reveal his name in conjunction with the activities of that night.

I have never really been into kink, so I was not thrilled about the things he wanted to do. He wanted to wrestle and play "fight Club." After that, he nibbled on my nipples, sucked my cock and balls and played with my ass. I came and then was asked to leave so he could "finish himself off." As I was leaving, I heard strange noises. I looked back at the bed and he was weeping. He was slowly jacking his cock with tears running down his face.

He motioned for me to turn around and keep walking. I did. I felt sick after I got into the hallway of the hotel. I always liked the actor, but after that experience, I cannot watch him in anything. I get queasy and have to change the channel. I left the business very soon after that. Never again.

by Anonymousreply 3804/30/2013

My first sex and it was awful. I was way to young/immature. I was 14 and sort of stalked by this (what seemed like at the time) older guy (he was in his young 20's.) Of course I was excited, but I really had no idea what to do. We were in my room with my parents asleep just down the hall and after foreplay he walks to the bathroom naked gets a bottle of my mom's Rosemilk lotion and procedes to use it to guide me into him. I honestly didn't know guys did what we attempted to do. I had no rhythm and then the room started to stink and it turned out I was just slowly and clumsily stirring the fudge. I ran to the bathroom to shower his shit off me and he came in and sat on the toilet and finished what he should have done before all this started. My parents had to know what was going on but they never said anything. It was awful.

by Anonymousreply 3904/30/2013

R39 Somebody shoulda horsewhipped that guy. A regular gang for the statuatory rape and a second one for the pigfuck on a virgin.

by Anonymousreply 4004/30/2013

I am shocked that your parents let a 20-something year old man stay the night in the bedroom with their 14 year old son, R39. Were they that liberal?

by Anonymousreply 4204/30/2013

Are you sure it doesn't fit his M.I. perfectly, r41?

by Anonymousreply 4304/30/2013

R43 LOL. Thank you. I fell out of my chair laughing when I read your comment. Yes, that would likely be more appropriate.

by Anonymousreply 4404/30/2013

The time when I was 15 (this was back in the '70s) and tried to get it on with my girlfriend. I already knew I was gay but was trying to fight it. It was a disaster from the time we took off our pants. She was clean but the smell of her cooch made me queasy and I felt like I was going to throw up the entire time.

She was kind of grouchy (nothing new for her)and was barking commands the entire time. I put on a rubber (which was difficult with only a partial erection) and tried to insert but I was sooooo turned off. I went through the motions on top of her for about 20 minutes and faked orgasm. I took her home afterward and came from that day forward I never pretended to be something I wasn't.

The next week I hooked up with the hot guy I wanted in my drama class and THAT was some killer fucking sex. No doubt, I was a 'mo! LOL.

by Anonymousreply 4504/30/2013

Way back when I was in my teens, the first time we fucked was very messy. We were ignorant about the ways of prep and he wanted me inside him. Damn. What a mess. The fuck was hot as hell but we both grossed out when I pulled out. There was crap all over my thighs, my crotch, his ass, the car seat. Yuck. The smell was godawful. We were best friends so we laughed it off and cleaned the car up before my mom saw it.

We had been having oral for a long time prior and went back to that exclusively after that first fuck. Later, we learned about douching and then went back to fucking. He's still my best buddy and when we're out with friends, 35 years later, we still laugh when someone brings up their first time fucking. We don't share it with the group but we laugh to each other knowingly.

by Anonymousreply 4604/30/2013

God, these stories are gross.

Worst I ever had didn't even make it to the sex phase because he was such a bad kisser. Slobbery, mush mouth. Yick.

Word to the wise, good kissers are usually great in the sack. So are good dancers and people who are adventurous eaters.

by Anonymousreply 4904/30/2013

My worst was my second semester of college. I had dated a really great guy in high school and we had terrific sex. He had a hot six incher and knew what to do with it. Flash forward to college, we had broken up.

I began dating this hot guy from one of my classes, tall and sexy. We made out on the first couple of dates and I knew he was packing. On our third date, he whipped out the biggest piece of meat I had/have ever seen. It was a true ten-incher and was huge fat. He was a total top, said he.

I knew it was going to be a challenge, but I had NO FUCKING IDEA! We used half a tub of lube and no amount of patience and determination was going to get that thing up my keester. I was in agony as my muscles clamped around it. I begged him to pull out but he seemed to think "no meant yes" and slammed it in headlong. I know I blacked out briefly from the pain.

He rammed it in and out and I just knew I was going to die. I had to have been the equivalent of a fisting. He yanked the monster out of me and quickly got dressed and ran out the door. I was pouring blood and was in so much pain I couldn't move. I had been in a nasty car accident a few years earlier and the pain that night was a thousand times worse than the wreck.

I was sore and trickling blood for days. For the first two days, I could not even go to my classes. I never heard from the guy again. I would have beaten the shit out of him if I had. I see all of these size-queens and I wonder how on earth they can crave that. It was horrible. I dated one other guy with a large one (nowhere near the same size) and I fucked his ass, and let him nowhere near mine.

Give me a nice five to seven incher and I'm good to go. Anything larger is torture and will NEVER happen again.

by Anonymousreply 5004/30/2013

R50 Pussy! The bigger the better... Always!

by Anonymousreply 5104/30/2013

R50 I can relate. I had an experience like that once. I was around 16 and the guy was around 25 (a family friend). We messed around one night and sucked each other off. He was friggin' huge (the size of my arm from my wrist to my elbow, and fat). I thought I was going to die. It hurt so bad.

He kept whispering in my ear that it would feel better when the muscle contracted. Bull-Shit! It never got better. I bled like a stuck pig. He dropped me off at home and I had to keep toilet paper in my crack to absorb the blood. I could walk right (or shit right) for days.

I really liked the guy and we did it a few more times, with the same sore and bloody result. Finally, one night, I said no more! He wouldn't let me fuck him and eventually we quit seeing one another. I hate huge dicks. Sheer torture...

by Anonymousreply 5204/30/2013

I had a huge dick (9+ inches) bad experience. Way painful. Years later, I also had a small dick (2+ inches) bad experience, and his trying to fuck me was pitiful. He had a great ass though. Both were cute guys and sex became better with compromises. I drilled both of their asses and we were all happy.

by Anonymousreply 5304/30/2013

All of the sex I have had has been really hot. The worst sex would have been the session in 1992 that gave me fucking herpes. That shit breaks out like clockwork every month and can be quite miserable. I call it my 'period.'

by Anonymousreply 5404/30/2013

I had a crush on this guy who was dating a friend of mine.

It was mutual.

When he stopped seeing my friend, he called me up and invited me over for dinner. My friend said it was OK with him.

I was excited. It was very romantic.

But when we got to the bedroom. He took his clothes off and his skin felt really odd.

It was like touching really old man flesh (and the guy wasn't even 30). His skin had a weird feel -- like uncooked hot dogs. Or dry dolphins.

It repulsed me and made having sex an ordeal.

by Anonymousreply 5504/30/2013

Trick fell out of the swing and broke his ribs and wrist. I was trying to get his clothes on to take him to the hospital and he was yelling so loud from being in pain that the neighbor came to the door and when I didn't answer right away yelled (through the door) that she was calling the police. Left the apartment half dressed to avoid having to explain to the cops and walked out into the hall with the screaming trick to find the hall full of neighbors discussing the commotion. Skulked to the elevator (where we had to wait) and I muttered "I think he broke his arm" after he screamed "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ALL LOOKING AT!" to all my neighbors. Shoved him in a cab downstairs and never saw him again.

I moved out two months later. I couldn't take the whispering every time I passed people in the hall or the laundry room.

And I got nothing. He fell out of the swing trying to get in it.

by Anonymousreply 5604/30/2013

It's zlwzys about you, isn't it, OP?

by Anonymousreply 5704/30/2013

R14, you were raped. That wasn't just "bad sex."

by Anonymousreply 5904/30/2013

R33, your writing skills are just...not there. That made no sense whatsover.

by Anonymousreply 6004/30/2013

The worst was an experience in high school, back in the late '70s. I was seeing this guy that was a few years older (22 or 23). My parents had forbidden me from seeing him because he was an adult and a known druggie (big on pot, pills and coke).

One school night (actually 3:30 or so in the morning) he came knocking on my bedroom window for a booty call. I let him in, he was smashed on Wild Turkey (still carrying the bottle) and god knows what else. He got on top of me and we were rutting like wild dogs. All of a sudden he just stopped. I realized he had passed out. I began to try to revive him and he puked all over me. I finally got out from under him and toweled the mess off of me.

I could not get him to wake up. He was breathing funny and I was sure he had OD'ed. I could not have my parents find him there. I dragged him to the window and threw him out (yes, it was the first floor). I dragged him to his car and drove to the hospital. I ran in and got medical attention and quietly disappeared and walked the 5 or 6 miles back to my house.

He later told me that he would have died if I hadn't taken him to the hospital. He had taken a bunch of 'ludes mixed with his Wild Turkey. My alarm clock went off just after I crawled back into the window. I was exhausted. I ended up telling my mom it was me that barfed in my room and was able to stay home and rest.

The guy was a real fuckup and I ended up dumping him soon after that experience. Sadly, he died from a heroin overdose in the early 1980s. Nice guy, just really messed up.

by Anonymousreply 6104/30/2013

Are you a woman, R61?

by Anonymousreply 6204/30/2013

R62 Bite your tongue! LOL. No, I'm a guy.

by Anonymousreply 6304/30/2013

Circa 1995 I met this really attractive, successful guy at an art gallery show and we went back to his place to get it on. The make-out session was scorching hot, but the further we got into it, the rougher he got. When we kissed, he growled like a wild animal. He literally ripped my shirt and pants off of me and held me down on the bed.

The bastard was extremely rough and I got pissed off. I said, "Hey dude, cool it or I'm leaving." He bit my lip, drawing blood. Then he slapped my face and said he was going to teach me a lesson about respect. I told him I was not into that rough garbage and this was a bad idea. I told him to let me up. He put his hands around my throat and began to strangle me. I gasped for air and he let go. He just laughed like an ass.

I broke away from him and he frantically chased me across the fucking room. I got to the door and tried to unlock it. He spun me around and screamed, "You know you want this big dick!" I kicked him in his big dick and ran out the door. I ran to my car in nothing but my underwear, carrying my tattered pants and shirt. That night scared the shit out of me.

18 years later, I have never gone home with a stranger again. I thought I was going to die that night.

by Anonymousreply 6404/30/2013

I'm a bi woman, and my first experience with pussy was almost my last. I was in the military, and seduced my female barracks Sergeant.

She invited me to her home one rainy afternoon and we both drank quite a bit. Then she led me to bed and instead of going down on me, an admitted pussy newbie, she forced my head onto her bush.

I had no idea what to do, but my survival instinct soon overpowered any concerns about technique. The filthy bitch had drenched her bush in cheap cologne and my throat began to close.

I came up for air and must have looked as miserable as I felt. She loped off to the bathroom to get a used bathrag and washed herself in front of me before straddling my face again. It was definitely rape-y.

I writhed away and stood up with balled fists and I guess I scared her, because she quickly suggested another drink.

We did do it a few times during the remaining months there, but she became a scary stalker..coming into my room in the middle of my night and crying after I ended it.

I learned later she had been transferred from her job at a Recruit Training Center because of her over zealous interest in new Marines.

by Anonymousreply 6504/30/2013


by Anonymousreply 6605/01/2013

I was fucking a guy up the ass one night and all of a sudden he cried out, "oh, no!" and the room was filled with a terrible smell. He had apparently had a stomach bug and it returned while we were having sex. It was horrible. Brown liquid was everywhere and all over my lower body. I was disgusted. He felt terrible and cleaned up the mess. It was our first and last date. I felt sorry for him because I knew how embarrassed he was. I was scarred for life. I have never had anal intercourse since, and that was 6 years ago.

My brother told me he had a similar experience with a woman years earlier. He was fucking her vaginally and she accidently lost control of her chocolate factory. Yuck.

by Anonymousreply 6705/01/2013

Ewwww. Some of these are just horrible.

by Anonymousreply 6805/02/2013

You shoulda said no.

You shoulda gone home.

You shoulda thought twice 'fore you let it all go...

by Anonymousreply 6905/02/2013

This is the most scatological amount of text I have read in my life.

I'm going to wash up now.

by Anonymousreply 7005/02/2013

At least people are being honest about first time experiences and not knowing about douching and prep.

by Anonymousreply 7105/02/2013

Thanks guys! I just turned straight...

by Anonymousreply 7305/02/2013

So, I'm guessing impromptu anal sex is something that should never happen then, right? It has to be planned.

How depressing to go through all the prep and then not get any.

by Anonymousreply 7405/02/2013

My story is sad, rather than bad. I was around 27, and had just returned home from an overseas contract job. I moved in with my parents while looking for a new job and for sex, hooked up with an old fuckbuddy who was the night manager in one of the fancy hotels in town. So most nights I would sneak in there around midnight when things slowed down at the front desk, and we would fuck like rabbits in any of the unoccupied suites. It was like the most prefect relationship I had had till then.

One night, as I was leaving the house, I ran into my mother, sitting by herself in the dark kitchen. Both my parents are early sleepers, so I was taken by surprise and didn't know what to say. She told me she was having trouble breathing and had come down for a drink of water and was feeling a bit better. I was in a bit of a hurry, so I didn't question her, figuring she was having one of her usual asthmatic attacks and would handle it. I left.

Returned 4 hours later and I fell over my mothers body in the dark. She had collapsed soon after I left, and had not even been able to call my dad. The breathing problem had been caused by the fact that she had a silent heart attack, and her lungs were filling up with fluid. Took me nearly two years to come to terms with the idea that if I had only stayed with her, I might have been able to call an ambulance. And another year before I had sex again.

by Anonymousreply 7505/02/2013

Bumping this thread because I needed to vent a little. I've been dating this guy for a while and we finally did the deed. He's cute, a good kisser, we're good to go. When we get our clothes off and I go down on him, I notice this salty taste (what I assume was pre-cum) and this really weird smell that made me gag - ball sweat maybe? He might have assumed I was gagging on his dick, but really it was the smell that was making me feel a bit nauseated.

It made it difficult to get things up on my end, so maybe he'd be justified in complaining about bad sex on my part too, though we both ended up getting off in the end. I used to think I could get it up for anything, but some things are truly boner-killers.

by Anonymousreply 7707/15/2014

What do you expect a dick to smell like, Blanche? Lilacs?

by Anonymousreply 7807/15/2014

R78, if that was for me - believe me, this wasn't my first dick! Usually it isn't an issue, but it was definitely a sour smell that made my nose (and stomach) turn a bit. Not enough to stop things in their tracks, but enough to limit the time I was willing to stay down there.

by Anonymousreply 7907/15/2014

It was the first time with a guy I had met and talked with several times at a coffee shop. We both were regulars. He was butch, outdoorsy and looked like he worked out. Back at his place, it all seemed to be going well, although I had too much to drink and started feeling funny - thick headed. We were in his bedroom in bed and all of a sudden he had his dog with us, a big German shepherd. He kept saying, "He gets jealous if he can't join in," while really overcoming me physically. It was awful and I still feel sick when I think about it.

by Anonymousreply 8007/15/2014

I got picked up in a bar. Went back to the guy's place - which had brutally cold air-conditioning.

Then he told me he was an undertaker.

by Anonymousreply 8107/16/2014

[quote]Usually it isn't an issue, but it was definitely a sour smell that made my nose (and stomach) turn a bit.

Funky spunk

by Anonymousreply 8207/16/2014

My ex tried having sex with me while I was tripping my balls off. LSD and sex most definitely do NOT mix. Nothing too traumatic, but I was about as aroused as a rotting potato.

by Anonymousreply 8307/16/2014
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