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The cashier at the deli gave me a dirty look this morning because I didn't place my regular order.

Normally I get a sandwich of an egg white omelet with spinach on whole wheat toast. The same cashier chick rings me up every morning, and she knows my order, and price, like clockwork.

So this morning I decided to be "daring" and order something different...an egg white omelet with spinach and swiss cheese in a platter with a toasted whole wheat bagel on the side. When it came time for this chick to ring me up, she rang up the usual price. She then realized that it wasn't a sandwich, but a platter, and asked me with a very flippant tone "what is this?" I told her that I wanted a little something different this morning. It was then that she shot me this unmistakenly glaring look, as though I somehow inconvenienced the hell out of her.

It's my prerogative to order whatever I want, and I can't be faulted if some checkout girl was sleepwalking through her job and was too stupid or lazy to realize that I was eating something different. Sometimes I can't...I just can't.

by Anonymousreply 6605/06/2013

You sound exhausting. I hope you got her fired.

by Anonymousreply 304/24/2013

Dear God, the humanity! The chaos! The epic scale of human tragedy!

Please, let us send you our ration shares.

by Anonymousreply 404/24/2013

What did Jerry and Elaine get?

by Anonymousreply 504/24/2013

[quote] Sometimes I can't...I just can't.

Kill yourself.

by Anonymousreply 604/24/2013

You got exactly the result you were hoping for. You anticipated it, hoped for it, got it, and then couldn't wait to post about it on Datalounge.

by Anonymousreply 704/24/2013

OP/R8 - survivors?

by Anonymousreply 904/24/2013

This never happened.

by Anonymousreply 1004/24/2013

[quote]I'm your classic New Yorker

Well, that explains both your attitude and the attitude of the cashier.

by Anonymousreply 1104/24/2013

Sorry OP R8 but...

[quote]The same cashier chick rings me up every morning, and she knows my order, and price, like clockwork.

You should have told her before she rang you up... that you didn't tell her and making this statement says that you anticipated her ringing up your usual order rather than your "daring" order.

by Anonymousreply 1204/24/2013

You must be single. If you were coupled, you'd know it is VERY bad to change your routine so dramatically and without proper warning.

You will probably always be single if you can't stick to your rut.

by Anonymousreply 1304/24/2013

R8

What you don't understand is that because you felt the need to post about this "experience" is what makes you sad and pathetic. Because you even think this is an "experience" means your life is really sad.

by Anonymousreply 1504/24/2013

She was probably just giving you a hard time to tease you, you humorless twit. Get over yourself.

by Anonymousreply 1604/24/2013

[quote]I'm your classic New Yorker

No you're not. You're some television writer's idea of a classic NY'er.

by Anonymousreply 1804/24/2013

The deli's security camera captured OP's experience...

by Anonymousreply 1904/24/2013

OP you're insufferable, that's what it comes down to. I'm pretty sure that's why she gave you the dirty look. It had nothing to do with you not placing your order. It had everything to do with your entire being as a whole.

And it still doesn't change the fact that you felt this was an experience when no one else would think twice about it.

by Anonymousreply 2004/24/2013

Only a faux naive troll would describe the second breakfast as something "daring" or "different."

by Anonymousreply 2104/24/2013

[quote]In the end, I'm your classic New Yorker...we might complain, but ultimately we're survivors who perservere and just roll with the punches.

Translation: I hope you're dimwitted enough to overlook my desperate, infantile neediness and attribute it to some completely unrelated personality trait.

by Anonymousreply 2204/24/2013

You're daring for ordering a bagel instead of toast this morning, and a survivor who rolls with the punches because you withstood a dirty look from the deli cashier? And though this experience hardly even qualifies as a experience at all, you felt that it merited its own thread on a dicussion board.

As a fellow NYer, I couldn't care less where you are from, but yes, you should kill yourself if you are really this sad and boring.

by Anonymousreply 2304/24/2013

Thanks for telling us all this, OP. More of us should be aware of deli cashiers who think they are above themselves. It's becoming a serious epidemic.

You're really putting that $18 to good use and maintaining the quality that DL has cultivated over the years.

by Anonymousreply 2404/24/2013

OP, you desperately need to have some bitchy sorority girl cunt punt you!

by Anonymousreply 2504/24/2013

Gee whiz..maybe she was just having a bad day?

by Anonymousreply 2604/24/2013

My cousin owned a deli with a steady clientele of people who came in every morning to buy their sandwiches for lunch. He would pre-make the sandwiches for people who always ordered the same thing, because business was so busy in the morning. One day, a regular customer who always got tuna salad came in and said, "I want something different today..." and my cousin tossed him the bag with the tuna salad sandwich in it and said, "Tomorrow," and rang him up.

by Anonymousreply 2704/24/2013

Listen, I have an incredibly stressful job in advertising with a lot of demands. I know you bitches hate hearing this, but it is New York City after all. If you live elsewhere, think of the stress factor at your job, and then multiply that by 1,000. You couldn't even begin to fathom it. It's a take-no-prisoners environment here. Point I'm trying to make is that I work in a pressure cooker environment, which makes my day stressful enough. I don't need a sneering cashier making things even more stressful for me. Plus, I kick ass at my job and I guess I set the bar high for, and expect perfection in, others, even for someone who sits and punches numbers into a cash register. I know I must sound like a totally entitled douche, but I'm really a nice guy who likes to start off the morning of an uber-hectic/chaotic day with as little stress as possible. Is that too much to ask? I hope this puts me in a slightly better light (crossing fingers!).

by Anonymousreply 2804/24/2013

oh fuck off OP

by Anonymousreply 2904/24/2013

What I'm trying to say is, I think all those years of prostitution was just a means to feed my ravenous hunger for heroin.

by Anonymousreply 3004/24/2013

Oh OP, imagine how you will react when an actual bad situation is thrown at you.

Oh and by the way, no one gives a shit about how stressful you think your job is or how perfect you think you are.

There are real people in this world with real problems....And you are not describing one of them. Please wait until something we would care about happens to you and post that. Thanks.

by Anonymousreply 3104/24/2013

r30=FauxP

by Anonymousreply 3204/24/2013

"Über-hectic"

Good LORD.

by Anonymousreply 3304/24/2013

OP, you should have warned her about changing your order. Clearly, you were being obnoxious. You were supposed to order your usual order.

by Anonymousreply 3404/24/2013

You had some nerve, Op.

by Anonymousreply 3504/24/2013

Oooo, advertising. What I love about you most OP, is that your're such a risk taker, so giving, so edgy.

My mornings usually begin with gunshot wounds, head trauma, HIV+ children with pneumonia, and hungover asshole surgeons.

So glad I chose a relaxed career pathway to Easy Street.

by Anonymousreply 3604/24/2013

OP conveniently failed to mention that he farted audibly and putridly when he walked up to the register to pay for his order.

by Anonymousreply 3704/24/2013

What I'm trying to say is, I think the heroin abuse was just a means of deadening my first love - acid jazz tap dancing.

by Anonymousreply 3804/24/2013

I have a hugely stressful job, so so stressful it's beyond human comprehension.

Some days even two or three people give me dirty looks. It's too much for one poor soul to bear.

You will never understand my suffering.

by Anonymousreply 3904/25/2013

Sooo.. What will you order this morning?

by Anonymousreply 4004/25/2013

WON'T SOMEONE PLEASE SHIT IN MY MOUTH??

With a side of spinach, please.

by Anonymousreply 4104/25/2013

R28

The fact that you think your job is more stressful than anyone else's (because of course you live in NYC) shows what a moron you are.

The fact that you find getting a dirty look from a cashier "stressful," shows you don't really have any stress in your life.

Try again.

by Anonymousreply 4204/25/2013

OP has created a wonderful spoof of the tiresome complainers who post about their trivial problems with shopclerks.

by Anonymousreply 4304/25/2013

r42, there IS an extra level of stress working in Manhattan. It's essentially life on steroids..the lowest of lows, and the highest of highs. But ultimately, there is so much amazing energy and creativity here, that it makes the much-added stress all worth it. That wonderful, amazing stress I can deal with because it pumps by adrenaline. The thing with the cashier is that, although I can tolerate the stress of working in Manhattan, because its rewards are amazing, I just want a little corner of my life to be stress free, and I expect that to happen in a deli getting breakfast. On my way to work in the morning, the last thing I deserve is some cashier giving me attitude. That's just the way I feel.

by Anonymousreply 4404/25/2013

Yes, OP, that is the way you feel. And your feelings are trivial.

by Anonymousreply 4504/25/2013

Once again, because you find a look by a cashier stressful at all tells me that your perceived other "stresses" in life are laughable.

by Anonymousreply 4604/25/2013

This thread is hilarious.

by Anonymousreply 4704/25/2013

OP has the daintiest of feet offering an intriguing contrast to his undeniably huge ass.

A man about town, OP sets drive-by fires as he zips to work wearing corduroy slacks.

by Anonymousreply 4804/25/2013

Well done, OP. Hitting so many buttons. Tell me, why did you decide not to give the cashier some coded response to inject race into the mix? Maybe she could axe you a question?

by Anonymousreply 4904/25/2013

Who orders an egg white omelet anymore ?? Oprahs been off the air for awhile.

by Anonymousreply 5004/25/2013

r49, the race/ethnicity of the cashier is irrelevant.

r50, those of us who lift weights in order to look our best eat egg whites for breakfast. Like I said upthread, I aim for perfection in my career. I also aim for it in every other component of my life, including my weight training regimen. The rewards in both components have been amazing.

by Anonymousreply 5104/25/2013

OP--EVERYTHING in your posts is irrelevant.

by Anonymousreply 5204/25/2013

Eating the yolk as well is even more healthful, get some veg. Fed pasture raised chickens and you will be getting a big dose of omega 3'. Take a little time out from your "regimen" and educate yourself about nutrition instead of some blurb you read in your workout magazine. P.S. good luck with life.

by Anonymousreply 5304/25/2013

Get off that stupid ass data-whatever and get me my fucking lunch, and this time get it right.

by Anonymousreply 5404/25/2013

r53, dearest, I have high cholesterol and triglycerides. In my case it's genetic. So I take Crestor daily and ensure that I don't ingest needless amounts of cholesterol.

by Anonymousreply 5504/25/2013

[quote]It's essentially life on steroids..the lowest of lows, and the highest of highs.

No, dear, that's the bipolar mania. Seek help. And meds.

by Anonymousreply 5604/25/2013

Read The great cholesterol myth. Watch a few documentaries on food and cholesterol, you'll learn a lot. Our bodies need and make cholesterol. There is such thing as healthy cholesterol, don't be a tool and believe everything your doctor and big pharma tell you. If you're really concerned about your "cholesterol" try going vegan. It will lower it exponentially..

by Anonymousreply 5704/25/2013

I read OP's set up and I honestly got the impression he was joking.

And that he knew he was joking.

by Anonymousreply 5804/25/2013

Of course he is, R58. This is the work of the faux naive troll. It's tongue in cheek but presented in a manner that will entrap readers to be outraged at OP's behavior and thought processes.

by Anonymousreply 5904/25/2013

OP, are you one of those people with back neck fat who describes himself as 'barrel chested'?

Did you once ask me if you could wear leather pants only to give a little shriek when I said you looked like a Mandrell sister?

Did you try to impress me with your Z3 coupe only to forget you had left dried vomit on the passenger seat floor?

by Anonymousreply 6004/25/2013

OP did a marvelous job. Brava, OP!! One of the best parody posts in a long time.

by Anonymousreply 6104/25/2013

When someone starts a thread like this,it reminds me of the fucking assholes who think practical jokes are funny. They're not! They're "humor" for the kind of trogladytes that beat me up as a teenager. And losers who have no other sense of humor. One other thing. In service-driven jobs,which I've done my whole working life, people like OP are a (seemingly) weekly occurance. After all these years, we own our retail business. When people who act and sound like OP come into the stores they get put in THEIR place and shut the fuck down! Unfortunately, it's gay men most of the time!

by Anonymousreply 6204/25/2013

[quote] It's my prerogative to order whatever I want, and I can't be faulted

No it isn't and yes you can

by Anonymousreply 6304/25/2013

Who let this poof in my fair city? SIOBHAN!

by Anonymousreply 6404/25/2013

[quote] Like I said upthread, I aim for perfection in my career. I also aim for it in every other component of my life.

Well, you're certainly succeeded at being the perfect asshole.

by Anonymousreply 6504/26/2013

Bump for R65

by Anonymousreply 6605/06/2013
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