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This is to all the people in relationships more than 5 years

Would you cheat if given the chance?

by Anonymousreply 6304/24/2013

any chance I'd get

by Anonymousreply 104/22/2013

No. When I make a commitment, I stay committed. In my youth, I would see the supposed greener grass on the other side of the fence and would "go for it." It was always a mistake. The green grass on the other side of the fence was so green because it was fertilized with mounds and mounds of dog shit. LOL.

by Anonymousreply 204/23/2013

I might. I wouldn't consider it cheating though.

by Anonymousreply 304/23/2013

I've been partnered for much longer than that, and no. I've had many opportunities over the years, but orgasms are easy and my priorities are with my relationship.

by Anonymousreply 404/23/2013

I figure this is my life and I'll get fucked by whoever I want. What he don't know won't hurt him. My partner will never know, so the joke's on him, so to speak. EVERY gay man cheats. There is no such thing as monogamy. Sorry folks.

by Anonymousreply 504/23/2013

r5 has it right.

by Anonymousreply 604/23/2013

I do all the time, and always have.

by Anonymousreply 704/23/2013

Monogamy is a myth. I do not know even one gay man over the age of 25 who has had less than 100 partners. That's just the way it is, honey.

by Anonymousreply 804/23/2013

I'm double that age, R8, and I've had three partners. Monogamy is natural and effortless for me, and it brings me great joy.

by Anonymousreply 904/23/2013

Cheat, no. Fuck someone else and tell my partner, of course. It's secrets and lies that undo you.

by Anonymousreply 1004/23/2013

Partnered for 25 years. I've never cheated and have no desire to.

by Anonymousreply 1104/23/2013

Would never cheat. And I am bisexual in a same-sex relationship of over 10 years. I know other gay men in longterm relationships where neither partner has cheated, either.

Why do cheaters always assume everyone else cheats? Is it because THEY are wired to cheat? I frankly would never get in a relationship with someone with that world-view, as I consider it a red flag.

by Anonymousreply 1204/23/2013

I used to get with one of a couple that were long time friends of mine. How could I resist that big dick? They ran a store together and when he cornered me outside to suggest a date, his lover saw us and was suspicious and later remarked about our conversation. We got together several times a year for a few years until they moved to Hawaii.

by Anonymousreply 1304/23/2013

Lots of us don't cheat. I am 52 and I have been with my partner since 1979, when we were both 18. Neither of us has ever cheated. We are monogamous and always have been (and no, neither of us are ugly or overweight). Anyone who says monogamy is unnatural is just trying to justify their own behavior. I would NEVER put my partners (or my) health on the line for a few minutes of pleasure with some strange tail. Not worth it.

by Anonymousreply 1404/23/2013


"He's all the man that I need."

by Anonymousreply 1504/23/2013

I was in a monogamous relationship from February 20th, 1982 until June 17, 2012, when my partner died from pancreatic cancer at the age of 50. Brian and I were the loves of each other's lives. We both had plenty of opportunities to cheat, but we didn't.

He had three male lovers and one female lover before me. Before him, I had four male lovers and three female lovers. Promiscuity, even before AIDS, held no appeal for me. I guess I had too much self-respect and discipline. Monogamy among gay couples is far more prevalent than you might think. Most people assume that the most successful gay relationships are "open relationships." I have never believed that.

by Anonymousreply 1604/23/2013

I would never cheat on my guy. I know he would never cheat on me, either. We have been together since 1986. Before I met him, I was sad and lonely. I dated quite a few men, but I felt empty inside. I would never jeopardize the trust (or my partner's health/life) by cheating. Not worth it. I would not only lose his respect for me, but my own respect for myself.

This relationship is the one thing I have done right in my life, I'll be damned if I will screw it up by messing around with a stranger who would likely turn out to not even be worth it.

by Anonymousreply 1704/23/2013

Ditto, R17. I've been with my man since 1993 and we are fully committed to monogamy. One of us cheating is not worth exposing both of us to herpes, HPV, etc. Condoms could protect from HIV and a few other heebie-jeebies, but HPV and herpes can still be transmitted while using condoms. Having my partner or I die of anal cancer from HPV is not worth the risk. Besides, we love each other too much.

Most guys out there are not worth it, no matter what they look like. When you find a good apple that loves you back, hang on to him for dear life. He won't be easily replaced if he walks out the door.

by Anonymousreply 1804/23/2013

Never. My partner and I celebrated our 40th Anniversary in December. We started dating during our senior year of high school. We went through a brief period (1974-1978) where our relationship was open, but we tired of that. The people we were seeing on the side were not worth it. We have been monogamous since then and neither of us would ever cheat.

by Anonymousreply 1904/23/2013

I am 54 and have been partnered since 1981. We both sowed our share of wild oats before getting together and we were ready to settle down (at 22, LOL). We have never stepped out on one another.

Like other posters have said, it would kill the trust, and most men out there are not worth the heartache, pain and irreparable damage it would cause to the relationship.

by Anonymousreply 2004/23/2013

Used to think I wouldn't (committed 12 year relationship) but I finally met someone who turned my head... Now I know I might if given the opportunity AND I could keep it under wraps.

by Anonymousreply 2104/23/2013

I've had 30, R8, and I'm about to turn 30.

by Anonymousreply 2204/23/2013

I fucked R4's boyfriend bareback last night and we laughed and laughed and laughed about his wuss of a boyfriend who is completely clueless.

by Anonymousreply 2304/23/2013


by Anonymousreply 2404/23/2013

R23's arms were blown off in Boston - his mom typed his message for him on the basement computer.

by Anonymousreply 2504/23/2013

We have an open relationship, however there are rules, so cheating could still happen. If I fucked a friend, went on actual dates or had a "regular" on the side, those would be cheating. And no, I don't cheat.

If we were practicing total monogamy, point of reference, so I can't say. But he'd have to put out for me a LOT more.

by Anonymousreply 2604/23/2013

On what planet is that funny, douchebag @R25?

You sound about 4.

by Anonymousreply 2704/23/2013

R23 We'll send you flowers in the hospice when you are dying from AIDS or the anal/testicular/penile/prostate/throat/tongue cancer you will likely get from HPV. HIV/AIDS is far from the only thing you have to worry about from barebacking. Herpes and antibiotic resistant gonorrhea are likely no fun either. Remember, you are not only putting YOUR health at risk, you are taking another person's life in your hands. If you don't care about yourself, then at least care about the other person.

by Anonymousreply 2804/23/2013

[quote]I do not know even one gay man over the age of 25 who has had less than 100 partners.

Perhaps if I hadn't wasted my time learning that it should be "fewer than 100 partners," I'd have had more time to be a whore.

by Anonymousreply 2904/23/2013

My husband is the best most consistent part of my life. I adore him more each year. There's no need to cheat or explore.

I remember a long time back watching an old married couple in the audience of a talk show, Oprah or something, anyway, the subject was about cheating the husband said, "I am all men for my wife and she is all women for me."

by Anonymousreply 3004/23/2013

21 years. Earlier in the relationship I might have cheated, especially at about year 13. Older, wiser, I'm so glad I didn't and I would never now.

by Anonymousreply 3104/23/2013

[quote]Monogamy is a myth. I do not know even one gay man over the age of 25 who has had less than 100 partners. That's just the way it is, honey.

No it isn't, whore. You need to hang around less whores who give their ass up at the drop of a hat. You whore.

by Anonymousreply 3204/23/2013

Fewer whores, R32. Not "less whores."

See? Not all moralists have good grammar.

by Anonymousreply 3304/23/2013

R28, you do realize that was a joke post right. But on another note you really need to seek some sort of help for your fear of sex. You sound like that poster who has all those hangups about anal sex, are you the same guy? I think there is something antigay about you. I good shrink could help you overcome your fear and self loathing issues.

by Anonymousreply 3404/23/2013

Whenever I got the urge I just jerk off and the immediate feeling goes away. As long as my partner lets me watch porn and jerk off I will have a deterrent from cheating.

by Anonymousreply 3504/23/2013

Don't cheat. But we've both told each other that a "slip" wouldn't destroy our relationship.

That said, I don't chase other guys and neither does he. We are everything to each other. And pretty much spend every waking moment together.

Been together 11 years.

by Anonymousreply 3604/23/2013

I am given the chance often. I rarely do. But if it was something especially inviting, someone especially appealing I would. And so would my partner. We both know this. Which doesn't make it "cheating" per se. It just means we're human. I trust that it wouldn't lead to anything that would threaten our relationship. He might have doubts of that with me, but I know that nothing could. I would run away from anyone else whom I felt I could potentially be seriously interested in - as that kind of drama is the last thing I need in my life.

by Anonymousreply 3704/23/2013

[quote]I am given the chance often. I rarely do.

How rarely? Once a year? More? Less?

by Anonymousreply 3804/23/2013

[quote]But if it was something especially inviting, someone especially appealing I would. Which doesn't make it "cheating" per se.

Um, yes it does. That's like saying, "I really hated her so stabbing her in the neck was appealing. That doesn't make it murder."

by Anonymousreply 3904/23/2013

For me emotional cheating is far worse than physical. I would rather my partner have a nameless, anonymous trick once in a blue moon than to have a regular guy that he could have the potential of falling for.

The problem with men, especially those who live in dense, gay friendly urban centers is that there is never a lack of options. It's like being a kid in a candy store. Plus people love to throw themselves at you once they know you're in a relationship and happy. It's like catnip to basic bitches.

by Anonymousreply 4004/23/2013

No desire to. Been in the same monogamous relationship 26 years this May. Neither of us has strayed.

We always joke that if either of us cheats we have to bring home photos and the other guy's underwear.

by Anonymousreply 4104/23/2013

R34, R28 here. I have NO FEAR of sex. I have fear of PROMISCUOUS AND RECKLESS SEX and everyone should. I have had plenty of great sex. So many people throw caution to the wind and say, "Oh, well, if I catch something, at least I can say I had fun." I was talking about barebacking and multiple partners with flagrant disregard for your own health or others. I love fucking, just not with every Tom and hairy dick.

by Anonymousreply 4204/23/2013

Monogamy rocks! My partner and I have been together since 1987 and I am lucky to have found him. Never would I risk the happiness and security of my relationship for a fling with some other guy. No way, Jose.

by Anonymousreply 4304/23/2013

R34 I don't think the poster has a fear of sex. He seems to be rather educated and rational. I, like him, am horrified to know that people are barebacking, thinking the A.I.D.S. crisis is over. H.P.V. is rampant among sexually active men and women. Several strains are proven to cause cancer within ten years of infection. It's silly to avoid sex, but it's dangerous to one's health to not take precautions against a proven danger.

I am monogamous. My sex life is mind-blowingly hot. I do not preach monogamy to others. If one wants to sleep with 1,000 men a night, that is one's choice. Life your life as you see fit. I think it is smart to educate yourself about potential dangers. Most people have a "live now, cry later" attitude. Whatever gets you through the night.

by Anonymousreply 4404/23/2013

Why bother with a relationship? There is so much fucken hot cock out there that I can sit on a different one every night if I choose. Why tie myself down. I am 32 and I have been with hundreds of guys. The most I ever got was crabs a few times and fucken herpes. Herpes is no big deal. People panic but it's just a few blisters. It broke out once and it never fucken happened again. You're all a bunch of nervous nelly pussys and scaredy cat queens. Life is short. Shit or get off the fucken pot.

by Anonymousreply 4504/23/2013

I love going home to a man that I know loves me more than life itself. I know he feels the same way. Many people who oppose gay marriage, including some gays, say that a gay marriage is doomed because men can't be faithful. Yes, we can. It takes discipline and hard work, but it's doable.

There are a lot of guys out there who love the challenge of going after a guy who is in a committed relationship. They love to watch a committed relationship fall apart then move on to their next victim(s). Then they move on. My husband and I are both aware of this type of person and we would never give them the satisfaction.

by Anonymousreply 4604/23/2013

You type like you take antiretrovirals, R27. Given how your BF no longer loves you, though, that could be the least of your problems.

by Anonymousreply 4704/23/2013

R45 Chad, let me introduce you to Brandon.

by Anonymousreply 4804/23/2013

Wow, you people sound really fucking boring. Maybe two really dull people can get together and spawn monogamy.

by Anonymousreply 4904/23/2013

Chad, are you telling your partners you have herpes? If so, good - that alone reduces the risk of transmission. If not, everyone on this thread should take note, since herpes can be transmitted without symptoms.

by Anonymousreply 5004/23/2013

I was listening to a Hall & Oates song and this line made me think of this thread: "Everybody always laughs at love But what they want is to be proven wrong"

So while there are lots of cynical comments & people who want to tear down happy couples, there are many more that's happy to see you can make it work.

by Anonymousreply 5104/23/2013

Dull? If someone is interesting to you is about fucking around you probably aren't worth listening to.

I have had great casual sex when that's what I have wanted. In relationships I want monogamy and am happy with that. One of my friends is in an open relationship and that works fine for him and his boyfriend. Cheating is different though, and usually means someone is being deceived.

by Anonymousreply 5204/23/2013

You know he's jealous, R52.

by Anonymousreply 5304/23/2013

The five years we have had have been such good times - I still love you.

But now I think it's time I lived my life on my own.

I guess it's just what I must do.

by Anonymousreply 5404/23/2013

Just a general question:

What would you consider "long term relationship"? Starting at what mark? 7 years?

by Anonymousreply 5504/23/2013

[quote]Why do cheaters always assume everyone else cheats? I

Because they have to. They know cheaters are shit.

by Anonymousreply 5604/23/2013

My partner and I have been together for over 35years. We both travelled a lot for work, and, I don't know about him, but I have had a few chances. I did not respond - not 'cause I'm a saint, but 'cos as exciting and tempting as it seemed at the time, it was not right for me. Everyone must make their own decision.

by Anonymousreply 5704/23/2013

My partner and I have been together for 25 years. No way would I cheat.

by Anonymousreply 5804/23/2013

As long as it's not anal, it's not cheating.

by Anonymousreply 5904/24/2013

What does that mean--"if given the chance"?

There is always "the chance." There is always someone out there happy to help you cheat. If you want to cheat, you can.

So, I'm not entirely sure what you mean.

Have I cheated? No. Would I want to? No. It causes other people harm. If you don't want to be committed anymore, then say so. But if you want to appear to be committed, but not actually be committed . . . you want this kind of duplicity, why? You want to seem like something you aren't . . . why?

So, no. I don't want to cheat.

by Anonymousreply 6004/24/2013

When did gay men turn into republican women?

by Anonymousreply 6104/24/2013

[quote]Why bother with a relationship? There is so much fucken hot cock out there that I can sit on a different one every night if I choose.

That sounds great when you are 21 and have a bar life.

When you are in your 40's and you have built a career and you work 14 hour days, night after night of exhaustive prowling and rutting doesn't appeal.

Depends on what you want out of life.

I'd rather build a home life with one person, share our lives and our love and ride the cock when convenient. The rest of the time I'm living my life not thinking that the world is only about the next stranger popping a load.

by Anonymousreply 6204/24/2013


by Anonymousreply 6304/24/2013
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