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Asking out service people...

Well, actually, he's a Starbucks manager, so not a "service person" per se. I've developed a bit of a crush on him over the last few months. And I happen to know that he's gay, and single.

Would it be appropriate to ask him out at his place of work? I don't think he's interested in me, because he never chitchats with me but does with just about everyone else... or does that mean he is?

by Anonymousreply 4404/25/2013

Have you tried starting a conversation with him?

That should be step one. Not asking him out. If you can get a nice rapport going with them then you could ask him if he would like to go out to dinner with you sometime. If he clearly has no interest in trying to talk to you, then don't embarrass yourself by asking out someone who clearly ain't interested.

by Anonymousreply 104/22/2013

Yes and no. But not necessarily in that order, OP.

by Anonymousreply 204/22/2013

As [R1] said, start by engaging him in a benign question such as asking him about some recommendations for a bag o beans for your home espresso/coffee maker(even if you don't have one). During the social exchange, I believe you will pick up on any indication of even the slightest interest in you. If you feel he ia at least not turned off by you, end the covo with a smile, purchase the coffee, but say nothing about a future get together. That is very important.

Time your next visit for 3 days later, at a time you know he will be working. I would approach him in a very non-creepy fashion, and say, "Bob, I want to thank your for the recommend of the Sumatra's my new morning favorite. In fact, I would love to buy you a drink after your shift as a thank you!"

He will either tell you he's in an exclusive relationship(the gentle let down) or he may very well accept. One thing that impresses possible partners is a command of the situation. You should already have several venues in mind: one near the Starbucks and a handful in scattered areas should he prefer to meet up nearer his home. Men like a take charge partner. Try to avoid saying "wherever you want to go". That may sound flexible and generous, but it's not sexy. Best of luck OP.

by Anonymousreply 304/22/2013

I'm sorry, I must have misunderstood. Did you say you want to date the help?

by Anonymousreply 404/22/2013

Overnight is extra.

by Anonymousreply 504/22/2013

I have a crush on the manager of a Starbucks near me. Two Whole Foods cashiers, too, including one who constantly looks as if his dog died right before he came to work. He looks so sad. I just want to make him happy.

The guy at Starbucks is gay. I'm not sure about the two at WF, though the sad one seems more gay than straight.

by Anonymousreply 604/22/2013

Once again, SWF offers the most insightful comments......

by Anonymousreply 704/22/2013

Why don't you pass him a note during gym?

by Anonymousreply 804/22/2013

[quote]"Bob, I want to thank your for the recommend of the Sumatra's my new morning favorite. In fact, I would love to buy you a drink after your shift as a thank you!"

Oh, that sounds natural....

by Anonymousreply 904/22/2013

BASED ON PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, I would like to echo the "Don't ask him out directly" advice. Just chat with him a few times first to get a feel of how it might go.

by Anonymousreply 1004/22/2013

So we have an OP who asks about hitting on service people and then declares she's not talking about hitting on service people.

That Starbucks manager would be better of splashing your face with an iced nonfat latte and ducking out while the OP is spluttering.

by Anonymousreply 1104/22/2013

Some free advice, OP: Never date retail.

by Anonymousreply 1204/22/2013

It's a slippery slope. I suppose Starbucks people and others of that ilk are acceptable. My friend has a thing for the maintenance guy at our NYSC, and he is actually contemplating asking this creature out. I don't approve. Where does it end?

by Anonymousreply 1304/22/2013

If I'm standing in line behind you, it is totally NOT appropriate to chat up the barrista!

Seriously, don't even try to engage him when other customers need his attention, he won't be able to concentrate on flirting and will be worried that someone else will complain to his manager. If you must hit on him while he's at work, make sure you do so when the shop isn't at all busy.

by Anonymousreply 1404/22/2013

Asking out a service person gives away power. Better to contact the corporation directly and purchase the desired property outright.

by Anonymousreply 1504/23/2013

A guy who is being paid to be nice to customers can't manage to be nice to you so you have a crush on him. That is not crazy. At all.

by Anonymousreply 1604/23/2013

He doesn't chat with you because he knows you have a crush on him.

He's not interested.

by Anonymousreply 1704/23/2013

Just ask him if he's like to grab a coffee sometime.

by Anonymousreply 1804/23/2013

That's great, R18.

by Anonymousreply 1904/23/2013

Starbucks today, McDonald's tomorrow, OP.

by Anonymousreply 2004/23/2013

[quote] Just ask him if he's like to grab a coffee sometime.

With the advent of posting from phones, everyone can now sound like they are ESL!


by Anonymousreply 2104/23/2013

Never hit on people when they're *at work* and professionally obliged to be polite. Try to run into him when he's out and about and strike up a conversation. You'll get a better feeling for the genuineness of his interest.

by Anonymousreply 2204/23/2013

A pair of friends (male couple) met when one was working at Starbucks and the other was a regular customer.

But they struck up a friendship first. Neither was even sure the other was gay initially, and it was several months before one finally asked out the other. They've been together over 10 years.

by Anonymousreply 2304/23/2013

[quote]With the advent of posting from phones, everyone can now sound like they are ESL!

I almost posted an immediate correction, but decided to wait to see if someone would feel compelled to jump on it. It was just an old fashioned typo made on my full-sized desktop keyboard.

by Anonymousreply 2404/23/2013

[quote]Where does it end?

R13, It ends with you dying alone and unloved with your cat indifferently nibbling at your corpse for a few days before the smell of your dead body alerts the neighbors.

by Anonymousreply 2504/23/2013

Typos are so much fun!

by Anonymousreply 2604/23/2013

"I'll give you something to drink!!!"

by Anonymousreply 2704/23/2013

I was a bartender for years and got asked out all the time. Just be careful before you do this. If he says no, and you probably will, it will be incredibly awkward from that point on whenever you frequent the Starbucks. Be prepared to find a new coffee shop. Though, since this is Starbucks, that might mean walking a hundred yards in either direction..

by Anonymousreply 2804/23/2013

This is such a northeast or west coast thread. In the south, we know not to sleep with the help.

by Anonymousreply 2904/23/2013

How do you know he's been nice just to get some tips?

by Anonymousreply 3004/23/2013

Customer service people are forced to be nice, smile, etc

by Anonymousreply 3104/23/2013

Why would ask out someone who's not interested you. You're going to be uncomfortable, and you're going to make him uncomfortable.

Find someone interested.

by Anonymousreply 3204/23/2013

I ate out the shit-hole of my waiter at Olive Garden last night. I went to the bathroom, he followed me and I took him in the stall, sucked his stunning 6" cock and ate his perfect, hairy little ass. Yum. He gave a mean blow/rim job combo too. I recommend it.

by Anonymousreply 3304/23/2013

Just enough bitchiness to make it work. Thanks DL!

by Anonymousreply 3404/23/2013

I met my bf of 22 years at the restaurant where he was a waiter. I went in several times and chatted him up, then went in when I knew the restaurant would be slow and asked him out. He's the best thing in my life.

by Anonymousreply 3504/23/2013

Consult the Fran Lebowitz essay "Hot Not to Marry a Millionaire: A Guide for the Misfortune Hunter"

Everything you need is there.

by Anonymousreply 3604/23/2013

I would never stoop to fucking the help. It's just so beneath proper society. A person of means should never sex-up the slaves. Sorry, but true!

by Anonymousreply 3704/23/2013

Best advice my mother ever gave me

"Darling, remember to always Fuck Up"

by Anonymousreply 3804/23/2013

I'm glad that the number of haters on this thread is low.

I will be honest about myself here - I am not in your face gay so he probably just thinks I am another straight guy. It took six months for my coworkers to figure it out. That has always been my problem, it's not that I am straight acting, I'm not gay acting either. But I am definitely not a g0y or homobro or whatever that stupid shit is.

I'm taking SWF's advice which really is the right strategy. Make friends first. Those little Verismo machines are on sale next week and he's offered to give me a personal demonstration and sample next week! I might actually buy one for myself for my birthday because I would like to make shots at home.

(Although I probably jinxed it by joking around and saying that the only thing preventing me from buying a home espresso machine and going out for one is whether or not I want to put on a pair of pants and walk 100yds to the Starbucks in my condo building.)

by Anonymousreply 3904/23/2013

Oh, dear. The exclamation mark in the third paragraph definitely spells heartbreak. Somebody's doing too much thinking and not enough fake chattering about coffee.

by Anonymousreply 4004/23/2013

OP....I've got my fingers and toes crossed for you!!

by Anonymousreply 4104/25/2013

I go to a small Manhattan coffee shop. One waiter is overly friendly. Comes to the table and says "hello" while patting my shoulder. When he returns change makes sure to touch my hand. I don't especially like him, but will put up with it because it's the closest place to eat near my job.

by Anonymousreply 4204/25/2013

Like others have said, it's part of his job to be nice to you. Don't confuse professional customer service with sexual or personal attraction. Meet someone who's not at work.

by Anonymousreply 4304/25/2013

[quote] I will be honest about myself here - I am not in your face gay so he probably just thinks I am another straight guy.


by Anonymousreply 4404/25/2013
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