Asking out service people...
Well, actually, he's a Starbucks manager, so not a "service person" per se. I've developed a bit of a crush on him over the last few months. And I happen to know that he's gay, and single.
Would it be appropriate to ask him out at his place of work? I don't think he's interested in me, because he never chitchats with me but does with just about everyone else... or does that mean he is?
|by Anonymous||reply 44||04/25/2013|
Have you tried starting a conversation with him?
That should be step one. Not asking him out. If you can get a nice rapport going with them then you could ask him if he would like to go out to dinner with you sometime. If he clearly has no interest in trying to talk to you, then don't embarrass yourself by asking out someone who clearly ain't interested.
|by Anonymous||reply 1||04/22/2013|
Yes and no. But not necessarily in that order, OP.
|by Anonymous||reply 2||04/22/2013|
As [R1] said, start by engaging him in a benign question such as asking him about some recommendations for a bag o beans for your home espresso/coffee maker(even if you don't have one). During the social exchange, I believe you will pick up on any indication of even the slightest interest in you. If you feel he ia at least not turned off by you, end the covo with a smile, purchase the coffee, but say nothing about a future get together. That is very important.
Time your next visit for 3 days later, at a time you know he will be working. I would approach him in a very non-creepy fashion, and say, "Bob, I want to thank your for the recommend of the Sumatra Gold...it's my new morning favorite. In fact, I would love to buy you a drink after your shift as a thank you!"
He will either tell you he's in an exclusive relationship(the gentle let down) or he may very well accept. One thing that impresses possible partners is a command of the situation. You should already have several venues in mind: one near the Starbucks and a handful in scattered areas should he prefer to meet up nearer his home. Men like a take charge partner. Try to avoid saying "wherever you want to go". That may sound flexible and generous, but it's not sexy. Best of luck OP.
|by Anonymous||reply 3||04/22/2013|
I'm sorry, I must have misunderstood. Did you say you want to date the help?
|by Anonymous||reply 4||04/22/2013|
I have a crush on the manager of a Starbucks near me. Two Whole Foods cashiers, too, including one who constantly looks as if his dog died right before he came to work. He looks so sad. I just want to make him happy.
The guy at Starbucks is gay. I'm not sure about the two at WF, though the sad one seems more gay than straight.
|by Anonymous||reply 6||04/22/2013|
Once again, SWF offers the most insightful comments......
|by Anonymous||reply 7||04/22/2013|
Why don't you pass him a note during gym?
|by Anonymous||reply 8||04/22/2013|
[quote]"Bob, I want to thank your for the recommend of the Sumatra Gold...it's my new morning favorite. In fact, I would love to buy you a drink after your shift as a thank you!"
Oh, that sounds natural....
|by Anonymous||reply 9||04/22/2013|
BASED ON PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, I would like to echo the "Don't ask him out directly" advice. Just chat with him a few times first to get a feel of how it might go.
|by Anonymous||reply 10||04/22/2013|
So we have an OP who asks about hitting on service people and then declares she's not talking about hitting on service people.
That Starbucks manager would be better of splashing your face with an iced nonfat latte and ducking out while the OP is spluttering.
|by Anonymous||reply 11||04/22/2013|
Some free advice, OP: Never date retail.
|by Anonymous||reply 12||04/22/2013|
It's a slippery slope. I suppose Starbucks people and others of that ilk are acceptable. My friend has a thing for the maintenance guy at our NYSC, and he is actually contemplating asking this creature out. I don't approve. Where does it end?
|by Anonymous||reply 13||04/22/2013|
If I'm standing in line behind you, it is totally NOT appropriate to chat up the barrista!
Seriously, don't even try to engage him when other customers need his attention, he won't be able to concentrate on flirting and will be worried that someone else will complain to his manager. If you must hit on him while he's at work, make sure you do so when the shop isn't at all busy.
|by Anonymous||reply 14||04/22/2013|
Asking out a service person gives away power. Better to contact the corporation directly and purchase the desired property outright.
|by Anonymous||reply 15||04/23/2013|
A guy who is being paid to be nice to customers can't manage to be nice to you so you have a crush on him. That is not crazy. At all.
|by Anonymous||reply 16||04/23/2013|
He doesn't chat with you because he knows you have a crush on him.
He's not interested.
|by Anonymous||reply 17||04/23/2013|
Just ask him if he's like to grab a coffee sometime.
|by Anonymous||reply 18||04/23/2013|
Starbucks today, McDonald's tomorrow, OP.
|by Anonymous||reply 20||04/23/2013|
[quote] Just ask him if he's like to grab a coffee sometime.
With the advent of posting from phones, everyone can now sound like they are ESL!
|by Anonymous||reply 21||04/23/2013|
Never hit on people when they're *at work* and professionally obliged to be polite. Try to run into him when he's out and about and strike up a conversation. You'll get a better feeling for the genuineness of his interest.
|by Anonymous||reply 22||04/23/2013|
A pair of friends (male couple) met when one was working at Starbucks and the other was a regular customer.
But they struck up a friendship first. Neither was even sure the other was gay initially, and it was several months before one finally asked out the other. They've been together over 10 years.
|by Anonymous||reply 23||04/23/2013|
[quote]With the advent of posting from phones, everyone can now sound like they are ESL!
I almost posted an immediate correction, but decided to wait to see if someone would feel compelled to jump on it. It was just an old fashioned typo made on my full-sized desktop keyboard.
|by Anonymous||reply 24||04/23/2013|
[quote]Where does it end?
R13, It ends with you dying alone and unloved with your cat indifferently nibbling at your corpse for a few days before the smell of your dead body alerts the neighbors.
|by Anonymous||reply 25||04/23/2013|
"I'll give you something to drink!!!"
|by Anonymous||reply 27||04/23/2013|
I was a bartender for years and got asked out all the time. Just be careful before you do this. If he says no, and you probably will, it will be incredibly awkward from that point on whenever you frequent the Starbucks. Be prepared to find a new coffee shop. Though, since this is Starbucks, that might mean walking a hundred yards in either direction..
|by Anonymous||reply 28||04/23/2013|
This is such a northeast or west coast thread. In the south, we know not to sleep with the help.
|by Anonymous||reply 29||04/23/2013|
How do you know he's been nice just to get some tips?
|by Anonymous||reply 30||04/23/2013|
Customer service people are forced to be nice, smile, etc
|by Anonymous||reply 31||04/23/2013|
Why would ask out someone who's not interested you. You're going to be uncomfortable, and you're going to make him uncomfortable.
Find someone interested.
|by Anonymous||reply 32||04/23/2013|
I ate out the shit-hole of my waiter at Olive Garden last night. I went to the bathroom, he followed me and I took him in the stall, sucked his stunning 6" cock and ate his perfect, hairy little ass. Yum. He gave a mean blow/rim job combo too. I recommend it.
|by Anonymous||reply 33||04/23/2013|
Just enough bitchiness to make it work. Thanks DL!
|by Anonymous||reply 34||04/23/2013|
I met my bf of 22 years at the restaurant where he was a waiter. I went in several times and chatted him up, then went in when I knew the restaurant would be slow and asked him out. He's the best thing in my life.
|by Anonymous||reply 35||04/23/2013|
Consult the Fran Lebowitz essay "Hot Not to Marry a Millionaire: A Guide for the Misfortune Hunter"
Everything you need is there.
|by Anonymous||reply 36||04/23/2013|
I would never stoop to fucking the help. It's just so beneath proper society. A person of means should never sex-up the slaves. Sorry, but true!
|by Anonymous||reply 37||04/23/2013|
Best advice my mother ever gave me
"Darling, remember to always Fuck Up"
|by Anonymous||reply 38||04/23/2013|
I'm glad that the number of haters on this thread is low.
I will be honest about myself here - I am not in your face gay so he probably just thinks I am another straight guy. It took six months for my coworkers to figure it out. That has always been my problem, it's not that I am straight acting, I'm not gay acting either. But I am definitely not a g0y or homobro or whatever that stupid shit is.
I'm taking SWF's advice which really is the right strategy. Make friends first. Those little Verismo machines are on sale next week and he's offered to give me a personal demonstration and sample next week! I might actually buy one for myself for my birthday because I would like to make shots at home.
(Although I probably jinxed it by joking around and saying that the only thing preventing me from buying a home espresso machine and going out for one is whether or not I want to put on a pair of pants and walk 100yds to the Starbucks in my condo building.)
|by Anonymous||reply 39||04/23/2013|
Oh, dear. The exclamation mark in the third paragraph definitely spells heartbreak. Somebody's doing too much thinking and not enough fake chattering about coffee.
|by Anonymous||reply 40||04/23/2013|
OP....I've got my fingers and toes crossed for you!!
|by Anonymous||reply 41||04/25/2013|
I go to a small Manhattan coffee shop. One waiter is overly friendly. Comes to the table and says "hello" while patting my shoulder. When he returns change makes sure to touch my hand. I don't especially like him, but will put up with it because it's the closest place to eat near my job.
|by Anonymous||reply 42||04/25/2013|
Like others have said, it's part of his job to be nice to you. Don't confuse professional customer service with sexual or personal attraction. Meet someone who's not at work.
|by Anonymous||reply 43||04/25/2013|
[quote] I will be honest about myself here - I am not in your face gay so he probably just thinks I am another straight guy.
|by Anonymous||reply 44||04/25/2013|