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I feel like I have nothing to live for.

I have no job, no housing, no friends, no partner.

Everyone is searching for one of the four. Me I don't have any of the four.

What is their to live for?

by Anonymousreply 8604/26/2013

I only have two of the four.

Sarright.

by Anonymousreply 104/22/2013

You obviously have a credit card and eighteen dollars to blow.

by Anonymousreply 204/22/2013

Tomorrow. Because you never know what will happen that will change everything. Keep on keeping on, please. I hate to hear people feel so bleak and empty. Just keep trying.

by Anonymousreply 304/22/2013

I have two of the four... sometimes it feels like just one out of four.

by Anonymousreply 404/22/2013

The world is a better place with you in it OP. It would be a worse place without you. So, it would be highly unethical of you to take yourself out of it.

by Anonymousreply 504/22/2013

There is beauty to be seen here; you've forgotten because of how difficult things are right now. Give yourself another chance to open your eyes, and another, and another.

by Anonymousreply 604/22/2013

But you have legs don't you? You already have a leg up on us.

by Anonymousreply 704/22/2013

Doesn't sound like much!

by Anonymousreply 804/22/2013

Well, OP- step into Datalounge. Our highly trained staff of doctors and therapists will work closely with you, to get you back on the road to Happiness.

by Anonymousreply 904/22/2013

I hear you, OP, as I've kind of painted myself into a similar corner, where I may have to break down and ask my folks outright for money -- talk about a depressing prospect! I have one friend who would miss me, as well as my folks and another relative, but not really anyone else. I've thought about ... leaving, but am too cowardly, so I guess I'll have to figure out how to keep on going. You and me both.

by Anonymousreply 1004/22/2013

Where r u living Op?

by Anonymousreply 1104/22/2013

If you would rather die, you'd better do it, and decrease the surplus population.

by Anonymousreply 1204/22/2013

R2 it was a $20.00 gift card

by Anonymousreply 1304/22/2013

op please hang in there ....don't you want to watch me get #4?

by Anonymousreply 1404/22/2013

"Their," OP?

Yeah. Right.

by Anonymousreply 1504/22/2013

I often feel the same. I wish I could give my years to someone who would enjoy them. I'm not really depressed, but I know that I am not very good at being happy. There's plenty of people who would give anything to have life ahead of them. I would happily give them mine if I could.

by Anonymousreply 1604/22/2013

R15 I'm barely hanging on right now, so forgive me for not proofreading my posts

by Anonymousreply 1704/22/2013

OP,

great art - paintings, sculpture, beautiful artifacts

Go to art museums - devote your interests to great art

nature - seek out nature - even in city parks and yards

get some large lightweight containers and plant flowers

the written word - literature - poetry

enjoy the beauty of each day

cultivate independence

by Anonymousreply 1804/22/2013

R18 here. Wait until you find an apartment/housing to get the containers in which to plant flowers.

Who are you living with?

by Anonymousreply 1904/22/2013

Just DIE!

by Anonymousreply 2004/22/2013

r18 is right. You're only here once -you didn't exist before your conception and birth and you'll be dead forever when you die. You are here now in this split second of time in the grand scheme of things. Look for the beautiful and pleasurable things in life. They are there.

by Anonymousreply 2104/22/2013

I feel for you, OP, I truly do. Here's hoping things get better for you very soon.

by Anonymousreply 2204/22/2013

OP, it's easy to say, but do hang in. I go through bouts of feeling like this. Eventually I pull myself out of it.

Seel outside help. Don't be afraid to ask. I am almost 50 and have never had a boyfriend or known that kind of love. My list of friends is very, very short, too. I try to be hopeful.

by Anonymousreply 2304/22/2013

R18 here. OP, I have no partner and no love in my life.

I have one friend and my parents are dead.

So I've devoted my life to being interested in the things I listed at R18.

The things I listed are an effective remedy, OP.

Try it and see if it is effective for you.

by Anonymousreply 2404/22/2013

OP don't give in to despair. There have been times when I had all or most of those things, right now I have one. That will change for the better I hope. You must be staying somewhere, with a friend or relative if you don't have housing. If you are well enough, try to concentrate on finding work. Lower your expectations if need be, take any reasonable work. One small step at a time.

by Anonymousreply 2504/22/2013

R25

Want to add that I was ill for awhile, then lost my job, then benefits ran out, then savings. I was fortunate. A friend took pity on me and has let me stay with him. It's been six months and I have been working for the last two, trying to save enough to get a small place of my own again. so I have had a helping hand, bless my friend.

by Anonymousreply 2604/22/2013

You might google "Peace Corps" and volunteer - sort of like giving your years to other people. Most of their volunteers have 4 year degrees but 10% of their positions don't require degrees. And there's no upper age limit.

by Anonymousreply 2704/22/2013

R27, isn't admission into the Peace Corps competitive? I thought they had many more interested applicants than available positions.

by Anonymousreply 2804/22/2013

You first, R29. Jerk.

by Anonymousreply 3004/22/2013

R29, any misery you've got you deserve and any happiness you've got you don't. Cunt.

by Anonymousreply 3104/22/2013

Measuring yourself against other people or their lives is a surefire way to feel sad.

Don't.

by Anonymousreply 3204/22/2013

OP, Just because you feel that way today doesn't mean that there will never again be blue skies. Warning; most want to be friends with positive and happy people. It takes an incredible human being to be truly supportive of someone who's depressed. Start searching any way that you can for those very special people. In the meantime please join me in ignoring the negative posters on DL; there are so many of us that try to be helpful and giving. Remember to always focus on the positive, however little that may be at any given time.

by Anonymousreply 3304/22/2013

If this is Steve Walker: Steve, I told you not to quit your job as a nurse and move to Utah because you thought everyone was so "healthy" there. I told you not to sell your car and lease a Prius, you cheap piece of shit. I told you it was one thing being poor, but another thing to be middle-aged and poor with bad teeth and stone washed denims.

You didn't listen to me, did you? Well, you ain't coming back to crash here in my house.

by Anonymousreply 3504/22/2013

OP, can I have your TV set and Precious Memories collection after you commit suicide?

by Anonymousreply 3604/22/2013

HEY.....Turn that frown upside down :-) And walk on the sunny side of the street, partner!

by Anonymousreply 3704/22/2013

Boo hoo hoo!

Waaaaahhhhh!

Me me me me me me me! Pooooor me!

by Anonymousreply 3804/22/2013

You honestly need to seek professional help.

Here are some things that will help in the meantime: *Lay off of sugar-laden food and switch to lean proteins, whole grains, fruits and veggies. See about fish oil supplementation. *Take walks if you can't bear to exercise. Nothing is better for your brain and body.Get some sun if you can. *If you're able to meditate, do. *Every time you have a negative thought--"I'll never get a job"--counter it with a positive: "Never is an exaggeration. It's likely I will find one but perhaps I need a new strategy." *Make a list of the things that have made you happy in the past and see which of them you can reintroduce into your life.

Sure, this sounds like a self-help book but every single one of these things work.

by Anonymousreply 3904/23/2013

I'm there right now.

I made the decision to get my effects in order and end it. I'll hopefully be gone by the end of December.

I don't have much, but I do want to make sure everything is organized and the right people/charities get my stuff.

I would never counsel anyone else to commit suicide because I believe only you know your interior life, environment and health issues. Everyone is different and suffers accordingly.

I do think, however, that it's possible to have a persistent level of suffering that it is not possible to alleviate. Once you get sucked into a hole-losing a job, devastating illness, no insurance, poor prognosis, etc. realistically, you're not getting out.

However, I think you have to be sure you've tried everything possible, mentally and physically to get to a place where you feel it's worth it.

This is especially true of people with mental health issues (I'm bi-polar II, and I know I don't think properly when I'm "down"; when I feel the same way throughout the year, I know I have a point.)

I'm not looking for empathy or someone to rush in and disagree with me. I'm just being honest.

The great Doug Stanhope, on suicide, relevant part at 2:03:

by Anonymousreply 4004/23/2013

No housing, as in homeless, or no housing of your own?

by Anonymousreply 4104/23/2013

You have us op!!! We're your friends!!!

by Anonymousreply 4204/23/2013

r42, I don't know if I'd want to wish that on the OP.

by Anonymousreply 4304/23/2013

Things don't get better when you're incapable of making them better. Not everyone can just think positive, be confident and turn things around, it doesn't work for everyone like that.

by Anonymousreply 4404/23/2013

A friend is someone who's friendly.

by Anonymousreply 4504/23/2013

Even when it's cold out.

by Anonymousreply 4604/23/2013

Even when it's nightime.

by Anonymousreply 4704/23/2013

Even when it isn't.

by Anonymousreply 4804/23/2013

Three fifty!

by Anonymousreply 4904/23/2013

OP here

Thanks for all the responses. I had two cups of Tazo Calm tea. What a world of difference. It opened my eyes up. I feel better, but still have my problems.

But I want everyone to know I'm not going to off myself.

Just keep putting one foot in front of the othere.

Thanks everyone for your concern

by Anonymousreply 5004/23/2013

I've been as low gets, and totally understand not wanting to go on. But I went on because I didn't want to hurt my mom. And eventually, after quite some difficult years, things got not only better, but GOOD.

I'm not saying it happens to evryone, but it's worth trying for. And in the meantime, live like the world's on fire.

by Anonymousreply 5104/23/2013

OP - I'm glad your are feeling better and hopefully you didn't pay attention to some of the posts on here.

I find it interesting how everyone is rallying against bullying and yet here on DL, when someone is on the edge, we have R12, R20, R29 and R38. These 4 sad cunts are so weak they have to cyber-bully someone who is in a dark place.

Word to the unwise four mentioned above. Your shitty little words will be heard by someone who is truly at the edge. You will have blood on your hands, but unfortunately won't know it. I really wish I could be the one to tell you when it happens so I could watch you cry. There is nothing more sad than someone who bullies from behind a keyboard with the anonymity it provides.

by Anonymousreply 5204/23/2013

R52 I didn't pay attention to the nay-Sayers. I know it comes with the territory at DL.

Off to the local community center to exercise (it's free). I heard exercise is good to clear the mind.

And more of that Tazo Calm tea. It really works!

by Anonymousreply 5304/23/2013

Some more advice, OP, from things I've learned (mostly the hard way):

1. Remember: It's not what happens to us in this life, it's how we deal with it. Repeat this as a mantra if necessary.

2. Stop drinking. It truly is a depressant and keeps you passive. I started drinking heavily after I lost a job, two jobs ago, and if I hadn't, I would be making more money now.

3. Look into taking Vitamin D and B-12 megadoses. I have never had more energy since I started this regimen, and they help with my depression.

by Anonymousreply 5404/23/2013

STOP drinking? Were you raised by puritans? Of course OP should drink. Just because you can't handle it doesn't mean he can't.

by Anonymousreply 5504/23/2013

Hey OP I feel exactly as you do. I have no idea why I go through the day, do what I do, because it never seems to get better.

But I guess what I live for is the hope that it will get better. As long as you can manifest just a little hope, keep going.

On the other hand, if you truly are hopeless, at the end of your rope, and alone... suicide is not the worst thing in the world. Just don't do it until you have exhausted every single possible option in your life.

by Anonymousreply 5604/23/2013

OP, no job here, no partner and since I got laid off last year, no friends. I agree with whoever said that friends want to be around people who are positive. As soon as things go south, friends become scarce. This is something I discovered years ago when my dad died and then again when my mom died.

I think about suicide. I've applied for hundreds of jobs and have interviewed for many but have not had any offers. I"m not being picky, either. The job market just sucks right now. Unemployment is paying for my teeny tiny studio but it will run out eventually. I often think that I will kill myself if by the time my unemployment runs out, I have not found anything.

And then I stop myself because that kind of thinking is never good and I don't want to kill myself because what if that isn't the end? What if my soul gets stuck paying some penance for taking my own life? So, i pick myself up and dust myself off. I try to focus on one day at a time. Today, I do have a roof over my head and food in the fridge. Today I will review job listings and apply for a number of jobs. I also started teaching myself Spanish and try to take walks every day to remain productive.

Basically, I stay busy and do whatever I can to change things for the better...and I don't think about tomorrow or cloud my mind with "what if's". I try not to let myself be sad which is hard especially this time of year that is so close to Mothers Day. My mom and I were great friends and I have missed her terribly since she passed away.

Keep on, OP. You are not alone in your struggle to be happy. There are others like you and me and the people who have pitched in with their stories. Hang in there, OP...and stay strong.

by Anonymousreply 5704/23/2013

[quote]Stop drinking. It truly is a depressant and keeps you passive

That's true. I lost 5 years that way. I'm sort of in a stuck situation now (temporary, I hope), but at least I am not drinking.

by Anonymousreply 5804/23/2013

Drinking is an antidote, so sorry so many of you Xtians can't see past your hippie fag saviour.

by Anonymousreply 5904/23/2013

Their their op your going too be fine.

by Anonymousreply 6004/23/2013

I am feel the same way. I have nothing but I carry on because I love my father and it would kill him if I took my life. I also feel so detached to the world of today, it is so completely different than the world I grew up in. I fantasize about going back to my childhood and growing older but the calendar years not progressing.

by Anonymousreply 6104/23/2013

Some of you would really benefit from old-school or new-school (activism) volunteer work.

by Anonymousreply 6204/23/2013

I love how OP is homeless, destitute, unemployed and utterly alone in this world....yet he has a credit card, a pricey electronic device, a working Internet connection and $18 to blow.

by Anonymousreply 6304/23/2013

R57 you may be alone but there are many millions of people who feel the way you do. A lot of them are on Datalounge. A lot of them are in your city. A lot of them are, well, everywhere. People just don't talk about it much.

Remember that when you walk around seeing other people looking happy, they're not. Happy. Very few people are happy at all. The best you can do is enjoy life whenever possible, and manage to get through the rest of it intact.

by Anonymousreply 6404/23/2013

R63 - why do I feel like you are the same person that goes nuts when people criticize how those on public assistance spend their (our) money?

by Anonymousreply 6504/23/2013

[quote] yet he has a credit card and $18 to blow.

I explained it was a $20.00 gift card.

[quote] a pricey electronic device, a working Internet connection

You do know there are places like libraries and community centers that offer free internet to poor people?

by Anonymousreply 6604/23/2013

OP

If you don't speak French, Scarlett said in English:

"After all, tomorrow is another day."

In Autant en emporte le vent, Scarlett said:

"Après tout, demain le soleil brillera encore"...

I like the French translation: After all, tomorrow the sun will continue to shine...

And, OP, things will get better and the clouds of depression will lift, showing the light of your bright future.

P.S. I suspect the OP is trolling, but perhaps some truly depressed DLer will read this.

Literally,

by Anonymousreply 6704/23/2013

Try God.

by Anonymousreply 6804/24/2013

Op, you have nothing to die for. You have EVERYTHING to live for. You have YOU. Not to sound insensitive to your plight, but there is only one of you in the entire world. You mean something. You have touched people's lives, whether you know it or not. There's no reason on Earth to shuffle yourself into eternal oblivion. None. You do matter.

I agree with someone above who said that volunteering might help. You see others in your same predicament...reach out. Work at the soup kitchen, the food bank, the clothing bank. You can do so much good by giving of your time and support. You're smart and articulate...places are always looking for peer counselors who can help others with depression, loneliness, even suicidal ideation. You know what it's like from firsthand experience and think of all the good you can do by just reaching out.

You matter to me, a complete stranger. You matter to everyone here (who has a soul :)). Take it one day at a time and don't let the bastards win. :)

by Anonymousreply 6904/24/2013

R70...it's more honest than your bullshit. I hope you're never down and out and have to encounter some loathesome person like yourself.

by Anonymousreply 7104/24/2013

[quote]I explained it was a $20.00 gift card.

And the rest of us know that gift cards do not come in the form of a credit card that you can use anywhere, but rather a card for a specific retailer. That also doesn't explain why you'd use $18 for a DL subscription instead of, say, food.

Also, why are you drinking expensive tea if you can't even afford a gym membership??

by Anonymousreply 7204/24/2013

I lost my partner (he left.) Job. Deluxe apartment in the sky. Looked round and discovered without 1, 2 & 3, I had no friends. Health declined for no particular reason. This was 1983. I'm still depressed. So, I come here to bitch about things. It helps.

by Anonymousreply 7304/24/2013

Clinical depression is a bitch. Get some meds, force yourself to take a short walks around the block every day. If concentrating on books is difficult, borrow films and television series from the library just to keep yourself amused. See if there's a local hospice, shelter or soup kitchen where you can volunteer one afternoon a week.

You can always kill yourself tomorrow, that option isn't going anywhere. Meanwhile, you may as well stick around and see how it goes. It usually gets better.

by Anonymousreply 7404/24/2013

OP, turn away from your sinful lifestyle and turn to Jesus. It will be the answer to all your prayers.

by Anonymousreply 7504/24/2013

OP, you wouldn't happen to be living in a rent controlled Manhattan apartment, would you?

by Anonymousreply 7604/24/2013

OP, I have felt that way myself sometimes, but you just have to remind yourself none of the discouraging things are permanent. Something great, funny, or even just mildly enjoyable is gonna happen in the future -- why miss it?

Also, many suicide attempts go horribly wrong. You think things are bleak now, imagine being maimed or disfigured. Quit thinking it's an option. Tomorrow, you could find yourself on the streetcorner after being laughed out of the unemployment office or some other grim shit and STILL be in the right place at exactly the right time to help an old lady across the street, or find a 20 on the ground.

by Anonymousreply 7704/24/2013

Hang in there, OP. I don't know how old you are. In my case, I'm in my early 30s and have been in a fog for a few years now. I can't start threads, I'd love to ask others at what age they got their shit together and re-started life on the right track. I sometimes feel I'm getting older fast to afford this depression, but being I can't get out of it, I spiral downwards a little bit more each year. I'm trying to fight it without medication, hopefully, things will turn around. What is the point of my post? It's that you're not alone with this problem. Other people, like myself, share your fear and pain. Let's get through this. Remember, the question we need to answer at the end of every day is: did we do at least one thing to help resolve our problem? Let's go, OP.

by Anonymousreply 7804/24/2013

I feel you. Sometimes I wonder just how much one person can reasonably suffer without thinking of suicide, as I think of it every day. If only I had the energy to do it.

by Anonymousreply 7904/24/2013

Someone wrote this on another thread. Seemed like a good fit here

"It doesn't matter how or what another person does. I don't live my life by the actions of others. I'm in control of me. I would never give a anyone power over my emotions. I'm also not 12 anymore. I'm young but old enough to know things happen. "

by Anonymousreply 8004/24/2013

OP, start looking in the mirror every morning and repeat Stuart Smalley's daily affirmation:

by Anonymousreply 8104/24/2013

I take it your stuff is not worth asking for?

by Anonymousreply 8204/24/2013

OP, YOU need a cat!

by Anonymousreply 8304/24/2013

Although I'm smart, financially comfortable, charismatic, movie star handsome, and in great shape, I, too, wonder what I have to live for because, although I once in a blue moon (and, alas, currently) have an all-consuming emotional & romantic attachment to an unavailable man, I have no real sexual desire for anyone.

by Anonymousreply 8404/24/2013

Oh dear, r84. Movie star handsome, lol?

by Anonymousreply 8504/24/2013

Even when one does not have a significant other, a partner, a boyfriend, love, a job, a job which one likes, enough money etc. there are still plenty of things to enjoy and in which to be interested in life.

Cultivating interests makes life enjoyable and interesting and takes your mind off of yourself.

by Anonymousreply 8604/26/2013
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