We just lost a beloved pet. It was a good death, not prolonged; she was content, old, and went quickly. But I'm devastated and can't imagine going through this again. Is having a pet worth the pain of losing it?
Is lhaving a pet worth the pain of losing it?
|by Anonymous||reply 44||04/23/2013|
[quote]Is having a pet worth the pain of losing it?
You just have to realize they have shorter lives than ours.
|by Anonymous||reply 1||04/22/2013|
No it isn't worth the anguish and sorrow. If you rescue a dog that is different than buying a 500 dollar puppy mill dog. When I put my last dog down I said never again and meant it. Then two damn cats moved in and 10 years later I have two damn cats on my head and in my bed.
|by Anonymous||reply 2||04/22/2013|
|by Anonymous||reply 3||04/22/2013|
|by Anonymous||reply 4||04/22/2013|
My 17 year old cat died two years ago and I was devastated. I would get another pet in a heartbeat, but my living circumstances (Alzheimer's parent in the household) prevent it.
|by Anonymous||reply 5||04/22/2013|
Yes. Because so many loving animals need loving homes.
It hurts us to lose them, but it hurts them more to lose out on having a home.
It's not their fault they don't live as long as we do.
|by Anonymous||reply 6||04/22/2013|
Post of the thread, R6.
|by Anonymous||reply 7||04/22/2013|
Yes, if you do the following :
1) Allow yourselves full time to grieve your lost darling. You deserve it, your late beloved deserves it, and any new animal you bring into your home deserves it (to give it a fair chance at winning your heart).
2) Adopt a rescue animal that's truly in need. It will die if you don't adopt it, and no one can love that new guy exactly like you can.
Each time I lose a pet, a huge piece of my heart goes away forever. With certain pets, I feel like the hurt will consume me. But damn if I don’t grow a new, different chunk of heart when I adopt a needy animal. It's like a lizard growing a new tail. And it is wonderful and amazing, and ever-increasing.
But the old hurt never goes away completely. And it shouldn't. Your pet was special and irreplaceable.
Good luck, OP.
|by Anonymous||reply 8||04/22/2013|
We had to put our nearly 13 year old cairn terrier to sleep a couple weeks ago. She had a terrible tumor on her neck that was gross and smelled and she didn't want to eat. Spike (our Jack Russell + something mix) was depressed and just laid by her all the time.
We used a service called petlossathome.com - when the vet showed up Gypsy got out of her kennel and went up to him and greeted him and laid down as if to say "FINALLY!" And in seconds it was over.
Spike is no longer depressed and is back to his old self. I think we waited too long to let her go, but we were dumb and selfish and I will never wait that long again.
The anticipation of her dying was worse than the actual act and I think everyone felt come relief. Yes, there were big sobbing tears and then peace. A week later the vet brought her ashes back and she is now on the mantle. I put a treat on top of the box for her. When Jon saw that he started to cry again. Well, I'm crying as I type this, but I'm not sad, it is just the memory of the sadness I guess.
Would we get another dog? We are thinking about a companion for Spike but I think he is enjoying the house being just us guys for now. If we did get another one we'd get one like him...a scrappy little rescue dog with lots of personality.
For us the pain of losing Gypsy started in November when the tumor came back and it weighed heavily on us "should we/shouldn't we" and when it was done, it was done and the pain subsides over time.
Spike got over it quickly. He doesn't look around for her anywhere or seem lonely or depressed, so maybe for now it will just be the three of us. I would not buy an expensive show quality dog again, though. Like I said a scrappy little rescue in the terrier family.
I have provided a link for the service we used in case someone is struggling with this decision. It was about $450 total.
|by Anonymous||reply 9||04/22/2013|
Thanks for the link R9. I've got some elderly, sick dogs and like a lot of pets, they hate the vet. I'd hate to have to drag them to the place they hate on their last day on Earth.
|by Anonymous||reply 10||04/22/2013|
We knew we couldn't get her out of the house. And we didn't want the trauma to ourselves and to her to take her to her regular vet. The vet that came to the house from this service was wonderful and very respectful of the situation since this is how he makes his living primarily now.
|by Anonymous||reply 11||04/22/2013|
I want to marry you, R8. By any chance, did you write that clever post about cats a week or so ago?
|by Anonymous||reply 12||04/22/2013|
ABSOLUTELY! Dogs are the most sincere and wholesome relationship you can ever have. Losing my dog was worst than any losing any person, but I also got so much more from her than any person.
You cannot experience unconditional love until you have a dog.
|by Anonymous||reply 13||04/22/2013|
Thanks, Ciaran. I always enjoy your contributions, so I'm flattered!
Don't want to presume about the other post to which you refer, but I do post often in these types of threads. Can you give me a kibble-sized hint about the post in question?
|by Anonymous||reply 14||04/22/2013|
Were you R 26 in the "What are your cats doing right now?" thread, R14?
|by Anonymous||reply 15||04/22/2013|
I'm sorry to hear about Gypsy, JohnEric. I know how much you loved her.
|by Anonymous||reply 16||04/22/2013|
No, Ciaran, but wasn't that just the best post? I was R20/37/40/50 in that fun thread.
|by Anonymous||reply 17||04/22/2013|
Yes. Think of it as being worth it from the pet's perspective when you get too down.
|by Anonymous||reply 18||04/22/2013|
Benefit now. Pay the piper later.
|by Anonymous||reply 19||04/22/2013|
[quote]You just have to realize they have shorter lives than ours.
unless they are parrots
|by Anonymous||reply 20||04/22/2013|
Thank you all for helping me keep it in perspective, it means a lot to me.
|by Anonymous||reply 21||04/22/2013|
Death is a worthless piece of shit, there's no way around that fact, but we may as well enjoy life while we have it, and for me living with animals is a pleasure I really don't want to do without.
|by Anonymous||reply 22||04/22/2013|
R8 again. One more reason you need to bring home a rescue after you've grieved properly: once safely ensconced in its new home, rescued animals tend to keep that cockeyed view of the world that only someone who's lived at life's margins can have.
And that animal will keep you in check like nobody's business. S/he'll keep you from spinning off your axis, will give you that "what the fuck are you moping about for" look that makes you laugh at yourself, in spite of yourself. S/he'll make you do and say all the silly things one does to a loved animal. You need that.
My sweet little Munchie-cat is on the coffee table now, giving me the Nurse Ratched eye for no damn reason. When he does that, I always sing Samwell to him: "What what? In the butt" and dance around until his eyes grow soft and heavy.
Who else but a pet can make you turn What What into a frigging lullabye?
|by Anonymous||reply 23||04/22/2013|
The best way to deal with it is to rush right out and find a replacement. When my grandmother died, I rushed out and got myself another old lady, and I've never regretted it.
|by Anonymous||reply 24||04/23/2013|
Is having ANYTHING worth the pain of losing it?
Nothing lasts forever, OP. Nothing and no one.
|by Anonymous||reply 25||04/23/2013|
You have to decide if you are mature enough and emotionally healthy enough to handle life's inevitabilities. Pets die. It's a fact of life. If you feel you can't handle those times or they would affect you too deeply then perhaps pet ownership is not for you. Everyone is different.
Maybe you can volunteer at pet shelters as an alternative. But they die there, too.
|by Anonymous||reply 26||04/23/2013|
My dog had to be put down after a lengthly and expensive illness which was really kind of brutal. Followed shortly by my partners mom going into an Alzheimer's nursing home, my brother dying unexpectedly and my mom developing Parkinson's. We get asked constantly when we are getting another dog, and frankly we just don't have it in us to take care of another thing that will probably die before us. Doesn't really answer OP's question other than I guess it depends on what's going on in his life.
|by Anonymous||reply 27||04/23/2013|
I've grown to love our dookie babies. The older one is getting on up in years, and I know I'll be devastated when he's gone.
|by Anonymous||reply 28||04/23/2013|
My partner and I have been involved in animal rescue nearly 15 years, and have fostered hundreds of dogs in this time. We also are a multiple animal household (currently have 5 permanent residents ages 3-13) on our farm along with 7 fosters.
We've decided that being an animal hospice home makes us the happiest now. We now take in senior dogs (who are dumped by their former owners as they age) and will provide them a comfortable life until they pass. We may not have them for long, but we can ensure that they are loved, well-fed, and cared for for their 6 months to a year or more. We've got the comfy peds, the raised feeding stations, and the ramp from the kitchen to the yard; why not use it on other dogs who need that sort of care.
We've a canine colombarium in one of the bookshelves (ashes and favorite toy/collar in a wooden box or pot) for 20+ dogs now who have passed over the past decade.. Yes, we have to put dogs down regularly. But the joy you have with them is so worth it. Nothing beats the kisses and the appreciative look in their eyes.
|by Anonymous||reply 29||04/23/2013|
My condolences, OP.
To quote the late, great Dr. Seuss: Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.
|by Anonymous||reply 30||04/23/2013|
The nice thing about dogs is even if you kill one, there are always plenty more at the pound.
|by Anonymous||reply 31||04/23/2013|
One of the lessons and experiences that many parents have in mind when getting a family pet is to help impart a sense of what death is, and its inevitability. By adulthood, hopefully, most people will have taken on some of that same lesson through one way or another, and be able to look sensibly upon OP's "risk-benefit analysis" approach -- to pets, children, partners, friends, favorite TV series.
Death is part of life, and as painful as losing a much loved pet is, if that pain outweighs all else, then something is seriously wrong with the the person posing the question.
|by Anonymous||reply 32||04/23/2013|
It is absolutely worth the loss of pain to enjoy many years of pet ownership. I have bonded with my pets in ways I cannot explain. They have made really bad days better. They are eager to please, always happy to see me come home, and live in whatever room I am in at the moment. I would get enjoyment over doing things for them that they love….an outing, a car ride, a toy or treat. I have lost several pets, and the initial pain was nearly unbearable. But, that mourning fog lifts and you are left with good memories. You can't ever replace a particular dog, but you replace the joy with the next pet you let into your life after you allow yourself to grieve.
|by Anonymous||reply 33||04/23/2013|
With that kind of thinking, why don't you just cut that cock off right now because you could be impotent at 80.
|by Anonymous||reply 34||04/23/2013|
I love you, R29.
|by Anonymous||reply 35||04/23/2013|
R29, I've considered taking in older or unwell dogs, too, and giving them a happy home for their final months/years.
But I'm not sure I can.
|by Anonymous||reply 36||04/23/2013|
I'm not sure if I could get another pet. I had my dog and cat since the age of 9 when one never imagines what will happen 15 or 20 years in the future. It's been one year since my kitty passed and 6 years without my sweet doggie. Can't imagine going through the pain again.
|by Anonymous||reply 37||04/23/2013|
r29, there's a very special place in heaven for you. Bless you for having the strength to do what you're doing.
|by Anonymous||reply 38||04/23/2013|
|by Anonymous||reply 39||04/23/2013|
Bless you, your partner and your wonderful brood of loving pets, R29.
ps: I love this thread!
|by Anonymous||reply 40||04/23/2013|
When my iPhone died I went right out and got a replacement iPhone. And it was OK.
|by Anonymous||reply 41||04/23/2013|
I love you too, r29.
|by Anonymous||reply 42||04/23/2013|
What kind of a dumb question is this? EVERY living thing dies eventually - it's just a part of life.
If you're afraid of getting attached to an animal or person because you don't want to deal with the pain when they die, you may as well forget about having any interaction with any living thing again.
|by Anonymous||reply 43||04/23/2013|
We lost our dog of 12 years and it was the hardest thing. But shortly after we rescued a dog from Tennessee (we are in CT) and she is the sweetest thing. We felt like the best way to honor our lost dog was to give another needy dog a home. Best thing we ever did.
|by Anonymous||reply 44||04/23/2013|