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Joan Crawford goes to the Supermarket (Part Two)

Eat your Wierdo!

by Anonymousreply 5305/01/2015

You eat it, OP!

by Anonymousreply 104/15/2013

Coca-Cola? Coca-Cola?!

Heads are going to roll!

by Anonymousreply 204/15/2013

"Missy, you're a lousy substitute for somebody who really cares."

by Anonymousreply 304/15/2013

"There's a supermarket to the right." "I should have KNOWN you'd know where to find the weirdos AND the lobsters!!!!!!"

by Anonymousreply 404/15/2013

Original thread:

by Anonymousreply 504/16/2013

Soylent Green is Missy!

by Anonymousreply 604/16/2013

We're having weirdos for supper, IF I can find all the ingredients.

by Anonymousreply 704/16/2013

Missy: "I wanna red one!" Joan: "Just who do you think you're talking to, MISSY?"

by Anonymousreply 804/16/2013

"Missy, eat your weirdo." "It's got this red juice when I push on it." "Then DON'T PUSH ON IT."

by Anonymousreply 904/16/2013

Barbara Stanwyck's nickname was Missy. Coincidence?

by Anonymousreply 1004/16/2013

"What's red weirdos doing in this closet when I told you 'no red weirdos EVER'! We'll see how many you've hidden over here. We'll see!"

by Anonymousreply 1104/16/2013

Tear down that BITCH of a lobster tank and put a window where it ought to be!

by Anonymousreply 1304/16/2013

I'm worn out on Joan Crawford for the time being. I'm sure we all are.

What say let's give her a rest?

by Anonymousreply 1404/16/2013

"Ma changed weirdos faster than she changed bedsheets. Ma, with her sloppiness..."

by Anonymousreply 1504/16/2013

Someone should do a MAN OF STEEL parody of Joan Crawford but call it LADY OF STEELE or something. I would but I'm just not clever enough.

by Anonymousreply 1604/16/2013

(14) Okay okay, just having fun, no harm intended.

by Anonymousreply 1704/17/2013

OP, I sure wish you could quit us.

by Anonymousreply 1804/17/2013

"My WEIRDOS! Someone stole BOTH my weirdos!!!!"

"That's good, darling. They were selfish, spoiled green weirdos. And now they won't wake you up when you need YOUR rest."

by Anonymousreply 1904/17/2013

Queen of Pepsico!

by Anonymousreply 2004/17/2013

You're nothing but a crooked owner of vending machines!

You make kids think that there are red wierdos to keep them spending their money.

We both know that there are NEVER any red wierdos in the machines!!!

by Anonymousreply 2104/17/2013

I like Missy's mother and her adamant "NO." Wonder if the actress appeared in anything else?

by Anonymousreply 2204/17/2013

"Alright, this time we'll make an exception. You may keep the doll AND the weirdo.

by Anonymousreply 2304/17/2013

I wouldn't call the mother's "NO!" adamant - more whiny and petulant. She seems like the kind of ineffective mom who descends to the kid's level and can't maintain a sense of adult authority.

by Anonymousreply 2404/17/2013

Yes (r24) children need equal doses of love and discipline. Thank goodness, mom handed her off to Joan!

by Anonymousreply 2504/17/2013

Hauling me over to Mayer's table like some picked up weirdo!

by Anonymousreply 2604/17/2013

Christina!!!! Christopher!!! MISSY!!!!!!! DAMMIT!!!!

by Anonymousreply 2704/18/2013

Thread killed by turning in to a tired Mommie Dearest thread.

by Anonymousreply 2804/18/2013

I want to lick the asshole of the man who likes this stuff.

by Anonymousreply 2904/18/2013

[quote]Thread killed by turning in to a tired Mommie Dearest thread.

We'll revive it by making it a thread about her films instead. I'll take THE WOMEN:

JOAN: Missy, there's a name for women like your mother. Only it isn't used in high society - outside of a kennel.

MISSY'S MOTHER: Is that anyway to talk to me after all I've done for you?

JOAN: Done what?

MISSY'S MOTHER: You didn't even know what a grocery store was when you drove Al Steele to his grave. After all, it wasn't easy to put you over.

JOAN: And who says you put me over?

MISSY'S MOTHER: I've gotten you into some of our very best supermarkets.

JOAN: Yes, for some of their very worst Spanish dinners!

LITTLE MISSY: And another thing: I think this old broad's outfit is perfectly ridiculous!

by Anonymousreply 3004/18/2013

OP, enough. You had a hit thread. It's over. Have some pride and stop trying to make the magic happen all over again.

by Anonymousreply 3104/18/2013

I like her delivery of the lines "green, like the grass green like the trees and Frankenstein's monster" It's almost poetic, and I'm being serious.

by Anonymousreply 3304/19/2013

I think Joan sees Missy as her redemption, a chance to get it right. She won't make the same mistakes she made with Christina.

by Anonymousreply 3404/19/2013

WHY CAN'T WE TALK ABOUT POSITIVE THINGS?

by Anonymousreply 3504/19/2013

[italic]I want a red weirdo. Jungle red![/italic]

by Anonymousreply 3604/19/2013

[italic]Mommie Dearest 2: Syoopermarket Saga[/italic]

Faye as Joan: "Missy, bring me the plum tomatoes."

(Missy returns with plums.)

Faye as Joan: "These are plums."

(Starts throwing plums, one by one)

Faye as Joan: "N-o-t p-l-u-m t-o-m-a-t-o-e-s."

by Anonymousreply 3704/19/2013

I can't figure out their schedule, but it looks like some time next week "The Lucy Show" on MeTV will feature the episode with Joanie. I think it's only shown in certain markets (e.g., L.A.) where "I Love Lucy" belongs to another station.

by Anonymousreply 3804/19/2013

[quote]I like her delivery of the lines "green, like the grass green like the trees and Frankenstein's monster" It's almost poetic, and I'm being serious.

My favorite part too. It's almost like it was lifted from the soundtrack of one of Joan's early films.

by Anonymousreply 3904/19/2013

My sister had a purse just like Missy's mom.

by Anonymousreply 4004/19/2013

I don't know why, but I'm fascinated by the weirdos. Do you think they were made just for this film or they were they a real thing.

Google is no help here.

by Anonymousreply 4104/20/2013

MISSY: I want a red weirdo!

JOAN: WOMAN - I'VE ASKED YOU TO KEEP MISSY QUIET TODAY!!!! - AND FOR CHRIST'S SAKE KEEP HER AWAY FROM THE VENDING MACHINES! Have Missy fetch my lobster.

MISSY: When I was a little girl, we used to say GHOOOOOD. Where does the grass come from.... ghooood. Rhubarb? OH NO, NOT rhuba----JOAN!" JOAN: What do you think you're DOING? MISSY: Nothing Joan. I was just playing. JOAN: You makin' fun of me? MISSY: No, I was just.. JOAN: Give me that!

Joan snatches the weirdo out of Missy's hands, she then tips over the vending machine - hundreds of coins fall out onto the floor.

MISSY: What are you doing? JOAN: Don't you tell me what I'm doing. Don't you tell me. MISSY: Oh Joan - don't! JOAN: Pick 'em up. Pick 'em all up. Pick 'em Missy. Pick 'em! You don't know what filth is inside of these machines. Pick the coins! Wipe 'em down and put 'em in my purse!!!

Missy is forced to get down on her hands and knees to collect the change.

JOAN: You're always rummaging through the vending machines spending your mother's money on weirdos. This ought to teach you! YOU VAIN, SPOILED--

Joan smashes the casing and dozens of weirdos fall out. Joan takes a pair of sharp scissors out of her pocket and points it at Missy's face with a deranged grimace

MISSY: Joan, please DON'T!!!!

Joan turns to the heap of weirdos and starts cutting them off from their strings

MISSY: Not the red weirdos! JOAN: YOU'VE SPOILED THEM JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER'S SPOILED YOU!!!! Get up. Get up. Clean up this mess. Put the weirdos back in the machine. MISSY: How?!!!!! JOAN: You figure it out. After all, where do you think WEIRDOS come from? MISSY (sobbing): The supermarket!!!

by Anonymousreply 4204/20/2013

Boys and girls, how come in the "Stanwyck on Crawford: "Crawford was so lousy, so ... " thread from last year there was not one mention, (that I saw)of Joan's glorious drunken slurrings in the back of a limo with Sirley Eder? The thread contained a link to a Youtube video with five conversations between Barbara Stanwyck, Shirley Eder and Joan Crawford. The whole thing is pretty amazing, (Shirley Eder sucks up to Joan but turns around and gossips about her behind her back with Barbara), but Joan pontificating about how "Jesus flings it" and calling herself "boss lady" tops it all. Here's the link, (Joans drunken adventures start at 24:10):

by Anonymousreply 4304/20/2013

That interview is a treasure, r43.

I always liked this short video, with a lady-like persona, too. Talking about fashion and comfort while wearing sequins and a pearled hair piece. Wait until the end.

by Anonymousreply 4404/21/2013

Any news back from the YouTube poster?

by Anonymousreply 4504/21/2013

Turns out my calculations were correct! The Joan ep of "The Lucy Show" was on this morning. The plot? Lucy and Viv (visiting from back East) are motoring when Lucy's car breaks down. They hoof it to the nearest house to call the Auto Club and of course it turns out to be Joan's mansion! When we first see her (prior to Lucy's arrival), she's dressed like a cleaning woman (hair covered with a scarf, etc.) and cleaning her banister and newel post with a brush and a rag. The living room is completely devoid of furniture. She's speaking with her agent (Lew Parker, a/k/a Ann Marie's father) who has to utter this ludicrous line with a straight face: "But Joan, the studio receives thousands of letters every week beggin for another Joan Crawford picture!"

Joan demurs, stating that she has plenty of money and doesn't want to work anymore. The agent leaves and Lucy and Viv show up. They don't immediately recognize Joan and assume she's a cleaning lady. Joan offers the use of their phone and then brings out some lemonade for the three of them to share. (What, no Pepsi?) She claims to have made the lemonade herself. Eventually Lucy and Viv recognize her but don't let on, and they assume she's fallen on hard times due to her attire and the lack of furniture. They scheme to get Mr. Mooney to come up with $100 worth of food to bring her under the guise of an award to Joan for being a Good Samaritan. While delivering the food, they convince her to appear in a play to earn money for the charity. Joan agrees.

Next up: The play, "Speakeasy Daze," by Lucille Carmichael. Lucy and Viv play dance hostesses (Rusty and Cuddles, respectively) in the '20s (dressed as the oldest flappers you've ever seen.) Joan comes in as the new girl in town, "Cynthia" (dressed like Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm +50 years.) Rusty and Cuddles drink gin, but Cynthia claims she only drinks milk. (Again, no Pepsi?) Rusty and Cuddles convince Cynthia that "gin" is short for "ginger ale" and Cynthia downs two glasses, neat. (No acting required on Joan's part for that scene.) Mr. Mooney plays Scarface and ends up doing a very tepid Charleston with Joan.

Eventually they're back Chez Joan where everything is straightened out and Joan (wearing a CAFTAN!) is overwhelmed by the outpouring of demand for her services after the success of the charity show (seriously? From a little theater show that had one performance?)

by Anonymousreply 4604/23/2013

I always thought that episode odd.

That Joan would agree to play a maid? I guess it was to make it seem as though her lifeless career was because she enjoyed domesticity.

She's speaking with her agent (Lew Parker, a/k/a Ann Marie's father) who has to utter this ludicrous line with a straight face: "But Joan, the studio receives thousands of letters every week beggin for another Joan Crawford picture!"

She probably wrote that line (if not, the script) herself.

In the last video of her before she retired from public life, you can see she still liked to keep up the pretense that she was still in demand:

by Anonymousreply 4704/23/2013

It was about time she went to the market. Usually her refrigerator was filled with nothing but cobwebs and gin.

by Anonymousreply 4805/11/2013

Do you know when the last time was that Christina and Joan saw each other, R47? Saw Christina's show in New York this week and she doesn't really say.

by Anonymousreply 4905/12/2013

MOMMIE DEAREST Gift Set, complete with detachable head and wire hanger accessories.

by Anonymousreply 5005/12/2013

The last time they saw each other was about four years before Joan's death, R49. But Joan sent Christmas and birthday cards and gifts until her death.

I can't imagine "Surviving Mommie Dearest" having much of a market, what gay would go to see that?

by Anonymousreply 5105/14/2013

Bumping because some idiot tried to start a new thread.

by Anonymousreply 5202/18/2014

bump for more Joan info.

by Anonymousreply 5305/01/2015
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