Eat your Wierdo!
Joan Crawford goes to the Supermarket (Part Two)
|by Anonymous||reply 53||05/01/2015|
You eat it, OP!
|by Anonymous||reply 1||04/15/2013|
Heads are going to roll!
|by Anonymous||reply 2||04/15/2013|
"Missy, you're a lousy substitute for somebody who really cares."
|by Anonymous||reply 3||04/15/2013|
"There's a supermarket to the right." "I should have KNOWN you'd know where to find the weirdos AND the lobsters!!!!!!"
|by Anonymous||reply 4||04/15/2013|
|by Anonymous||reply 5||04/16/2013|
Soylent Green is Missy!
|by Anonymous||reply 6||04/16/2013|
We're having weirdos for supper, IF I can find all the ingredients.
|by Anonymous||reply 7||04/16/2013|
Missy: "I wanna red one!" Joan: "Just who do you think you're talking to, MISSY?"
|by Anonymous||reply 8||04/16/2013|
"Missy, eat your weirdo." "It's got this red juice when I push on it." "Then DON'T PUSH ON IT."
|by Anonymous||reply 9||04/16/2013|
Barbara Stanwyck's nickname was Missy. Coincidence?
|by Anonymous||reply 10||04/16/2013|
"What's red weirdos doing in this closet when I told you 'no red weirdos EVER'! We'll see how many you've hidden over here. We'll see!"
|by Anonymous||reply 11||04/16/2013|
Tear down that BITCH of a lobster tank and put a window where it ought to be!
|by Anonymous||reply 13||04/16/2013|
I'm worn out on Joan Crawford for the time being. I'm sure we all are.
What say let's give her a rest?
|by Anonymous||reply 14||04/16/2013|
"Ma changed weirdos faster than she changed bedsheets. Ma, with her sloppiness..."
|by Anonymous||reply 15||04/16/2013|
Someone should do a MAN OF STEEL parody of Joan Crawford but call it LADY OF STEELE or something. I would but I'm just not clever enough.
|by Anonymous||reply 16||04/16/2013|
(14) Okay okay, just having fun, no harm intended.
|by Anonymous||reply 17||04/17/2013|
OP, I sure wish you could quit us.
|by Anonymous||reply 18||04/17/2013|
"My WEIRDOS! Someone stole BOTH my weirdos!!!!"
"That's good, darling. They were selfish, spoiled green weirdos. And now they won't wake you up when you need YOUR rest."
|by Anonymous||reply 19||04/17/2013|
Queen of Pepsico!
|by Anonymous||reply 20||04/17/2013|
You're nothing but a crooked owner of vending machines!
You make kids think that there are red wierdos to keep them spending their money.
We both know that there are NEVER any red wierdos in the machines!!!
|by Anonymous||reply 21||04/17/2013|
I like Missy's mother and her adamant "NO." Wonder if the actress appeared in anything else?
|by Anonymous||reply 22||04/17/2013|
"Alright, this time we'll make an exception. You may keep the doll AND the weirdo.
|by Anonymous||reply 23||04/17/2013|
I wouldn't call the mother's "NO!" adamant - more whiny and petulant. She seems like the kind of ineffective mom who descends to the kid's level and can't maintain a sense of adult authority.
|by Anonymous||reply 24||04/17/2013|
Yes (r24) children need equal doses of love and discipline. Thank goodness, mom handed her off to Joan!
|by Anonymous||reply 25||04/17/2013|
Hauling me over to Mayer's table like some picked up weirdo!
|by Anonymous||reply 26||04/17/2013|
Christina!!!! Christopher!!! MISSY!!!!!!! DAMMIT!!!!
|by Anonymous||reply 27||04/18/2013|
Thread killed by turning in to a tired Mommie Dearest thread.
|by Anonymous||reply 28||04/18/2013|
I want to lick the asshole of the man who likes this stuff.
|by Anonymous||reply 29||04/18/2013|
[quote]Thread killed by turning in to a tired Mommie Dearest thread.
We'll revive it by making it a thread about her films instead. I'll take THE WOMEN:
JOAN: Missy, there's a name for women like your mother. Only it isn't used in high society - outside of a kennel.
MISSY'S MOTHER: Is that anyway to talk to me after all I've done for you?
JOAN: Done what?
MISSY'S MOTHER: You didn't even know what a grocery store was when you drove Al Steele to his grave. After all, it wasn't easy to put you over.
JOAN: And who says you put me over?
MISSY'S MOTHER: I've gotten you into some of our very best supermarkets.
JOAN: Yes, for some of their very worst Spanish dinners!
LITTLE MISSY: And another thing: I think this old broad's outfit is perfectly ridiculous!
|by Anonymous||reply 30||04/18/2013|
OP, enough. You had a hit thread. It's over. Have some pride and stop trying to make the magic happen all over again.
|by Anonymous||reply 31||04/18/2013|
I like her delivery of the lines "green, like the grass green like the trees and Frankenstein's monster" It's almost poetic, and I'm being serious.
|by Anonymous||reply 33||04/19/2013|
I think Joan sees Missy as her redemption, a chance to get it right. She won't make the same mistakes she made with Christina.
|by Anonymous||reply 34||04/19/2013|
WHY CAN'T WE TALK ABOUT POSITIVE THINGS?
|by Anonymous||reply 35||04/19/2013|
[italic]I want a red weirdo. Jungle red![/italic]
|by Anonymous||reply 36||04/19/2013|
[italic]Mommie Dearest 2: Syoopermarket Saga[/italic]
Faye as Joan: "Missy, bring me the plum tomatoes."
(Missy returns with plums.)
Faye as Joan: "These are plums."
(Starts throwing plums, one by one)
Faye as Joan: "N-o-t p-l-u-m t-o-m-a-t-o-e-s."
|by Anonymous||reply 37||04/19/2013|
I can't figure out their schedule, but it looks like some time next week "The Lucy Show" on MeTV will feature the episode with Joanie. I think it's only shown in certain markets (e.g., L.A.) where "I Love Lucy" belongs to another station.
|by Anonymous||reply 38||04/19/2013|
[quote]I like her delivery of the lines "green, like the grass green like the trees and Frankenstein's monster" It's almost poetic, and I'm being serious.
My favorite part too. It's almost like it was lifted from the soundtrack of one of Joan's early films.
|by Anonymous||reply 39||04/19/2013|
My sister had a purse just like Missy's mom.
|by Anonymous||reply 40||04/19/2013|
I don't know why, but I'm fascinated by the weirdos. Do you think they were made just for this film or they were they a real thing.
Google is no help here.
|by Anonymous||reply 41||04/20/2013|
MISSY: I want a red weirdo!
JOAN: WOMAN - I'VE ASKED YOU TO KEEP MISSY QUIET TODAY!!!! - AND FOR CHRIST'S SAKE KEEP HER AWAY FROM THE VENDING MACHINES! Have Missy fetch my lobster.
MISSY: When I was a little girl, we used to say GHOOOOOD. Where does the grass come from.... ghooood. Rhubarb? OH NO, NOT rhuba----JOAN!" JOAN: What do you think you're DOING? MISSY: Nothing Joan. I was just playing. JOAN: You makin' fun of me? MISSY: No, I was just.. JOAN: Give me that!
Joan snatches the weirdo out of Missy's hands, she then tips over the vending machine - hundreds of coins fall out onto the floor.
MISSY: What are you doing? JOAN: Don't you tell me what I'm doing. Don't you tell me. MISSY: Oh Joan - don't! JOAN: Pick 'em up. Pick 'em all up. Pick 'em Missy. Pick 'em! You don't know what filth is inside of these machines. Pick the coins! Wipe 'em down and put 'em in my purse!!!
Missy is forced to get down on her hands and knees to collect the change.
JOAN: You're always rummaging through the vending machines spending your mother's money on weirdos. This ought to teach you! YOU VAIN, SPOILED--
Joan smashes the casing and dozens of weirdos fall out. Joan takes a pair of sharp scissors out of her pocket and points it at Missy's face with a deranged grimace
MISSY: Joan, please DON'T!!!!
Joan turns to the heap of weirdos and starts cutting them off from their strings
MISSY: Not the red weirdos! JOAN: YOU'VE SPOILED THEM JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER'S SPOILED YOU!!!! Get up. Get up. Clean up this mess. Put the weirdos back in the machine. MISSY: How?!!!!! JOAN: You figure it out. After all, where do you think WEIRDOS come from? MISSY (sobbing): The supermarket!!!
|by Anonymous||reply 42||04/20/2013|
Boys and girls, how come in the "Stanwyck on Crawford: "Crawford was so lousy, so ... " thread from last year there was not one mention, (that I saw)of Joan's glorious drunken slurrings in the back of a limo with Sirley Eder? The thread contained a link to a Youtube video with five conversations between Barbara Stanwyck, Shirley Eder and Joan Crawford. The whole thing is pretty amazing, (Shirley Eder sucks up to Joan but turns around and gossips about her behind her back with Barbara), but Joan pontificating about how "Jesus flings it" and calling herself "boss lady" tops it all. Here's the link, (Joans drunken adventures start at 24:10):
|by Anonymous||reply 43||04/20/2013|
That interview is a treasure, r43.
I always liked this short video, with a lady-like persona, too. Talking about fashion and comfort while wearing sequins and a pearled hair piece. Wait until the end.
|by Anonymous||reply 44||04/21/2013|
Any news back from the YouTube poster?
|by Anonymous||reply 45||04/21/2013|
Turns out my calculations were correct! The Joan ep of "The Lucy Show" was on this morning. The plot? Lucy and Viv (visiting from back East) are motoring when Lucy's car breaks down. They hoof it to the nearest house to call the Auto Club and of course it turns out to be Joan's mansion! When we first see her (prior to Lucy's arrival), she's dressed like a cleaning woman (hair covered with a scarf, etc.) and cleaning her banister and newel post with a brush and a rag. The living room is completely devoid of furniture. She's speaking with her agent (Lew Parker, a/k/a Ann Marie's father) who has to utter this ludicrous line with a straight face: "But Joan, the studio receives thousands of letters every week beggin for another Joan Crawford picture!"
Joan demurs, stating that she has plenty of money and doesn't want to work anymore. The agent leaves and Lucy and Viv show up. They don't immediately recognize Joan and assume she's a cleaning lady. Joan offers the use of their phone and then brings out some lemonade for the three of them to share. (What, no Pepsi?) She claims to have made the lemonade herself. Eventually Lucy and Viv recognize her but don't let on, and they assume she's fallen on hard times due to her attire and the lack of furniture. They scheme to get Mr. Mooney to come up with $100 worth of food to bring her under the guise of an award to Joan for being a Good Samaritan. While delivering the food, they convince her to appear in a play to earn money for the charity. Joan agrees.
Next up: The play, "Speakeasy Daze," by Lucille Carmichael. Lucy and Viv play dance hostesses (Rusty and Cuddles, respectively) in the '20s (dressed as the oldest flappers you've ever seen.) Joan comes in as the new girl in town, "Cynthia" (dressed like Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm +50 years.) Rusty and Cuddles drink gin, but Cynthia claims she only drinks milk. (Again, no Pepsi?) Rusty and Cuddles convince Cynthia that "gin" is short for "ginger ale" and Cynthia downs two glasses, neat. (No acting required on Joan's part for that scene.) Mr. Mooney plays Scarface and ends up doing a very tepid Charleston with Joan.
Eventually they're back Chez Joan where everything is straightened out and Joan (wearing a CAFTAN!) is overwhelmed by the outpouring of demand for her services after the success of the charity show (seriously? From a little theater show that had one performance?)
|by Anonymous||reply 46||04/23/2013|
I always thought that episode odd.
That Joan would agree to play a maid? I guess it was to make it seem as though her lifeless career was because she enjoyed domesticity.
She's speaking with her agent (Lew Parker, a/k/a Ann Marie's father) who has to utter this ludicrous line with a straight face: "But Joan, the studio receives thousands of letters every week beggin for another Joan Crawford picture!"
She probably wrote that line (if not, the script) herself.
In the last video of her before she retired from public life, you can see she still liked to keep up the pretense that she was still in demand:
|by Anonymous||reply 47||04/23/2013|
It was about time she went to the market. Usually her refrigerator was filled with nothing but cobwebs and gin.
|by Anonymous||reply 48||05/11/2013|
Do you know when the last time was that Christina and Joan saw each other, R47? Saw Christina's show in New York this week and she doesn't really say.
|by Anonymous||reply 49||05/12/2013|
MOMMIE DEAREST Gift Set, complete with detachable head and wire hanger accessories.
|by Anonymous||reply 50||05/12/2013|
The last time they saw each other was about four years before Joan's death, R49. But Joan sent Christmas and birthday cards and gifts until her death.
I can't imagine "Surviving Mommie Dearest" having much of a market, what gay would go to see that?
|by Anonymous||reply 51||05/14/2013|
Bumping because some idiot tried to start a new thread.
|by Anonymous||reply 52||02/18/2014|
bump for more Joan info.
|by Anonymous||reply 53||05/01/2015|