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Why isn't Michael Douglas dead?

The tabloids last year would have us believe he was making a final world tour with his family.

He looked dead then.

What happened? Was it just a publicity stunt or a front for massive plastic surgery?

by inquiring mindreply 2206/02/2013

My radiance brought him back to life.

by inquiring mindreply 104/10/2013

Aren't both of his parents still alive?

Motherfucker has some really good genes.

by inquiring mindreply 204/10/2013

Everything about Michael Douglas is a publicity stunt. The man personifies the term "publicity whore."

by inquiring mindreply 304/10/2013

People do bounce back from serious illnesses and go into remission. I wouldn't read anything into it.

by inquiring mindreply 404/10/2013

I ask myself that very question every night before retiring with a brandy. He is not fit to live.

by inquiring mindreply 504/10/2013

He just went into shock for a few months.

He learned Catherine's real age...

by inquiring mindreply 604/10/2013

Why isn't [bold][italic]KIRK[/bold][/italic] dead yet is more to the point.

by inquiring mindreply 704/10/2013

That's not funny, R6. I'm a mere thirty-two years old.

He was only shocked because I look so good for my age.

by inquiring mindreply 804/10/2013

Thank God he lived to play Liberace because no one else could have done it better.

I read that Robin Williams was the original choice but it just would not have been the same.

by inquiring mindreply 905/28/2013

Good for his parents (too) that he`s still alive,they don`t need to lose another son,don`t you think?

by inquiring mindreply 1005/28/2013

Catherine's youthful essence brought him back from the brink!

Translation: Her deal with Satan covered both of them.

by inquiring mindreply 1105/28/2013

I ask myself the same question each time I see the little black Dior number I have set aside in my closet.

by inquiring mindreply 1205/28/2013

[quote]He learned Catherine's real age...

...which makes her perfect to play Vera Charles in a Mame remake, no?

by inquiring mindreply 1305/28/2013

Why kind of sociopath asks a question like that? Like some archvillain asking his henchman why the guy he ordered a hit on isn't dead.

by inquiring mindreply 1405/28/2013

Cancer treatment makes people look like hell - but then they recover. He looks pretty good these days, considering.

by inquiring mindreply 1505/28/2013

Sometimes we wonder why our loved ones haven't died before us. Believe me, sister, it's a mystery.

by inquiring mindreply 1605/28/2013

His cancer-ravaged face was on the cover of all those tabloids you can't help seeing in the check-out line.

What kind of people shoot these pictures? I guess they get paid well, but Jesus Christ.

by inquiring mindreply 1705/28/2013

Kirk Douglas's wife Anne(?) is not Michael's mother.

by inquiring mindreply 1805/28/2013

Cunnilingus perhaps?

[quote]Asked whether he now regretted his years of smoking and drinking, thought to be the cause of the disease, Douglas replied: "No. Because without wanting to get too specific, this particular cancer is caused by HPV [human papillomavirus], which actually comes about from cunnilingus." Douglas, the husband of Catherine Zeta Jones, continued: "I did worry if the stress caused by my son's incarceration didn't help trigger it. But yeah, it's a sexually transmitted disease that causes cancer. And if you have it, cunnilingus is also the best cure for it."

by inquiring mindreply 1906/02/2013

r19 - wow, I'm actually shocked he said that. WTF?

by inquiring mindreply 2006/02/2013

National Cancer Institute

HPV and Cancer

by inquiring mindreply 2106/02/2013

I think Robin Williams would have been great (he even looks more like Liberace) PROVIDED Soderbergh could have forced him to take it down several notches. Williams is very very talented.

by inquiring mindreply 2206/02/2013
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